George Zimmerman Is Never Going To Fucking Die » VSB

Theory & Essay

George Zimmerman Is Never Going To Fucking Die

Seminole County Sheriff`s Office via Getty Images

 

George Zimmerman is never going to fucking die. This is all you need to know when seeing a news alert about him (almost) getting shot in the face. That it would not matter if he actually was shot in the face. Or repeatedly and surgically punched in the face by Zach Randolph. Or strangled in his sleep. Or dropped from the top floor of a four story Target. Or attacked by a herd of rabid groundhogs. Or burned and eaten by a fucking dragon.

The sooner we all accept that, that regardless of what happens to him, this motherfucker is never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to fucking die, the better for us all.

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Skegeeaces

    Dude’s f*cking Suge Knight.

    • miss t-lee

      So we’ll have to wait 20 years for him to kill someone else before being brought to justice?

      • Skegeeaces

        Seems that way. :-/

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I think the ending of Blood and Bone would be appropriate.

        • uniquebeauty79

          Or the ‘curb kiss’ from American History X

    • Sigma_Since 93

      But Suge has been two pieced and it’s documented. Zimmerman hasn’t gotten to Suge status yet.

      • miss t-lee

        Let’s not act like Suge didn’t have Tupac removed from the face of the earth, put his hands on ladies, as well as his other feats throughout the years.
        It finally all caught up.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          Exactly. I need to see Zimmerman on Media Takeout or World Star being laid out by some goon and having his chain snatched, slapped with some baby powder across the face, thrown out his apartment nekkid as bae continues to throw his stuff out the window….you get my point

  • ReadyRoc

    I guess young black thugs, women, and law abiding white men have something in common. They all get into altercations with Zimmerman.

  • tommy helms

    Obviously God is watching over him and protecting him from harm

    • kittensNhell

      Yeah! So he can get continually harmed &/or harassed wherever he goes… cheers!

    • Criolla73

      Are you serious?

  • He’s that proverbial roach that will survive an atomic blast and come out unscathed.

  • IJS

    I don’t need for him to actually die. I prefer he instead experience THAT scene from “American Me”. In jail. Everyday. Until he’s like 118 or something.

    • MostlyMax

      I wouldn’t mind if THAT scene from Oz happened to that thing on a hourly basis. Or something with a million paper cuts and a vat of lemon juice. Either one would be good.

  • Tx10inch

    He was highly trained at survival….

  • MzzPeaches

    Every time I see him, all I can think…

    https://media1.giphy.com/media/4qjWTb2jVbdAY/200.gif

  • KB

    I seriously loathe this person

  • miss t-lee

    Medieval torture tactics, that’s what I wish for this thug a*s, piece of sh*t, motherf*cker.
    Getting shot in the face is almost too good for him.

  • chivalrous1won

    That picture….man….I’ll be back I broke my knuckles

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