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Your Handy Homecoming Survival Guide

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! No, I’m not referring to the fast approaching holidays; I’m talking about Homecoming Season!

The time has come for us to take those walks down memory lane back to our alma maters and relive our glory days. Homecoming season is a healthy mix of reconnecting with loved ones and debauchery. It’s like a family reunion; only this time the drunken uncle might be someone’s line brother.

Homecoming has been a long-standing traditions on college campuses, and the older we get, the more we need to proceed with caution. The excitement of homecoming can lead to impetuousness, and if you don’t plan accordingly you’ll most likely make poor life choices.

Ergo, in the spirit of smart decision-making, I’ve constructed this list to make your Homecoming not only memorable, but sensible.

1.) Avoid the “hey stranger” swindle:

If you have not heard from this person 1 of the past 365 days thus far, don’t fall for contact on the 274th. Be mindful that these people are an instrument sent to waste your time. Ignore all random “you coming to homecoming this year?” texts. It is the foundation for a series of unfortunate events. These people will start liking your social media posts, and contact you to merely to find something to “do” over the weekend. You were not placed on this earth to be an option during homecoming.

2.) Don’t be a Yard Crasher:

Homecoming is a time celebrated by alumni of a particular institution, but at times outside visitors join to get a taste of what all the hype is about. If you are in fact one of these visitors, govern yourself accordingly. Do NOT walk on someone’s yard expecting the royal treatment and right hand of fellowship. This time is about them, their friends, their memories, and their school pride. You are, unfortunately, an after-thought. If you are a visitor, try making friends and reaching out to mutual associates. Doing this will heighten your experience and open doors you never knew existed.

3.) If it’s free, it’s for me:

Keep in mind that Homecoming is usually the time clubs raise entrance fees to charge an arm, leg, and your first born for entry. Don’t fall for the swindle. Expensive doesn’t mean better quality. Before you spend your money, find out what you’re paying for and what you get for your money. Don’t be enticed by the promise of celebrities. Most of these “celebrities” will make a three second cameo in a remote corner and walk out the door to greener pastures. You can have the same good time at a house party or with a group of friends at other venues. Do your Googling/Yelping and have a proper plan.

4.) Stay In Your Lane:

You can’t be everywhere and go to everything. You are no longer the younger you of yesteryear. You are now a whole entire adult, and things tend to not bounce back like they did in prior years. Do not try to show the younger crowd that you still got it. You’ll regret this. You have nothing to prove. You are not in undergrad anymore. You will hurt for the next six months. Remember the days of going out until 5am and going to an early morning class? Well, those days are over, friend.

5.) Like Black Lives, PTO matters:

After surviving a weekend of Homecoming, the last thing you’ll want to do is go back to your regularly scheduled program. Homecoming is a weekend long festivity and a lot of people have not engaged in activities of these magnitudes in a millennia. Do not set yourself up for failure thinking you can make it to work on Monday. Make sure you hydrate appropriately, water and pedialyteare your friends. If possible, call in sick and take the necessary time to recuperate. If this is NOT possible, go in and suffer through. A weekend of fun is not worth your employment.

Homecoming is a time to celebrate the bonds of friendship and create fresh memories with people old and new. Adhering to these tips will ensure that you do so responsibly and heighten your experience. The most important thing is to make smart life choices and make sure you enjoy yourself.

Corey Townsend

Corey resides in the land of hobbits and homosexuals, also known as the District of Columbia. Being a firm believer in on-time rent payments, Corey has employed himself as a Social media strategist by day and a freelance writer by night. He also is a writer for an award-winning web series and connoisseur of all things brunch related.

  • Brandon Allen

    Smh….don’t know if a make it to Morehouse next weekend.

    • panamajackson

      Why not? I’m gon’ be down there in my Dashiki’d glory.

      • Brandon Allen

        $$$

      • TeeChantel

        You wearing the all white pantsuit?

        • panamajackson

          I’m trying to find one in my size. Hillary seems to have bought them all up from Steve Harvey’s stores.

    • HoneyRose

      Me either, fam. I haven’t been back to a homecoming since I graduated. I made a deal with myself to start going back at 10 years, though, which is two years from now.

      Ironically, I’ll be in Atlanta the week after next visiting family!

  • I am old and crotchety… The Classic gets me hyped….everything else not so much.

  • Betty

    This was so funny and there was so much truth here! People are looking at me funny because im laughing outloud in this line. Not sure if you are new but two snaps. Go Corey.

  • PriceIsRightHorns

    I’m crashing HU’s homecoming for the second year in a row. I would like to attend my own, but flights were over $800.

    I don’t want to buy the plane, I just need a ride.

    • Kas

      Where you live, Mars? $800 . . . long whistle

      • PriceIsRightHorns

        LOL. At one point, flights from Minneapolis to Tallahassee were $979. I sent Delta the saltiest of emails.

        If I’m putting that much down on airfare, I’m going to Bora Bora.

        • Kas

          I’m flying from Cali to Jamaica around Christmas and spending less than that per ticket.

          • PriceIsRightHorns

            Exactly. It’s the same situation every year. I haven’t been since 2014 when I gave up 40k in Skymiles to go. Triple womp.

            When I saw the pics and videos from last year, I felt lonelier than G Money trying to plead his way back into the CMB.

            • Kas

              You should just commit to going next year. Give you time to git yo mind right bout the loot you are going to spend.

              • PriceIsRightHorns

                I would like to, but that airfare search has me like

                https://media.giphy.com/media/OrOEPjy1rWLao/200w.gif

                • grownandsexy2

                  Have you tried booking thru Priceline?

                  • PriceIsRightHorns

                    I use them for hotels a lot and once in a while for airfare. The fares to Tallahassee are always crazy during football season and no less than $450 any other time. Le sigh.

                • MsSula

                  Airfordable might be a good look. I sure wish I had that available to me as a poor African student in the states. I would have been home at least every other year!

                  https://www.airfordable.com/

                  • PriceIsRightHorns

                    Thanks for the tip.

              • AlwaysBluffing

                That’s just SOOO much for a domestic flight, though. I mean, at the end of the day, if Price wants to go, Price has to pay it. But that price is ridiculous.

                • PriceIsRightHorns

                  Totally ridiculous.

            • Lmao!!!!

          • YeaSoh

            I’m gonna be in Jamdown aroumd Christmas too…

        • miss t-lee

          They outta line for that price. You should definitely be halfway around the world for almost a G.

          • PriceIsRightHorns

            Right! They can kick all of the rocks with that nonsense.

            • miss t-lee

              Indeed.

        • grownandsexy2

          That’s robbery. I bought two round trip tickets, hotel and airfare, 5 nights, Hilton hotel to Disney and it was less than that.

          • PriceIsRightHorns

            What’s even more messed up is that I start looking 8 months in advance and check it every day. Last year I thought about flying into Atlanta and then making the four hour drive (boooo!) Flights to ATL were over $500. I was totally deflated, lol.

            • grownandsexy2

              WOW! There should be some type of price controls. And then some of them want to charge for every little thing. I bought tickets for a flight, I think it was Frontier Air and when I logged on to print out the boarding pass and choose seats, they wanted $16 for the seat, a seat with more leg room was $27 and an upgrade in the front of plane was $50. I’m thinking what was the actual ticket price for – the privilege of just boarding? I’ll never fly with them again. SMH

              • PriceIsRightHorns

                Yeah, those nickel and dime situations after the fact are wack. Tell me what you want me to pay upfront and let that be it.

    • Ari

      Not to mention the price of Tallahassee hotel rooms. I live only four hours away in ATL, but still decided to opt out this year.

      • PriceIsRightHorns

        Girl! Aloft wants part of your liver as a down payment. I reserved a suite at the Residence Inn and it was very reasonable, but the airfare killed the entire deal. Grrrrrrr. Maybe next year.

        • Ari

          From what I’ve seen and heard from friends, this year looks like it will be a really good turnout so hopefully next year will be even better. I’m dying inside.

          • PriceIsRightHorns

            Yeah, I’m sick about it and will cry in my oatmeal when the pics and videos come out.

            My frugal self is not feeling the airline smack down so I need to find a way to reconcile it.

        • Aloft Orlando is just as ridiculous.

          • PriceIsRightHorns

            Smh. They need to do better.

    • I feel your pain. There is no reason I should be dropping close to $500 to fly to Richmond, Va with delays. I got to ATL in 90 minutes for under $200. They gouging son.

      • PriceIsRightHorns

        Yeah. It’s wack that I can’t kick it with my folks, though. Airfare and hotel to Tallahassee = $1100. Airfare and hotel to DC = $350.

        We gon’ roll with the Bison this weekend.

    • HoneyRose

      I want to go to HU’s homecoming one time just cause. My alma mater (SpelHouse) has a pretty dope homecoming in and of itself, but I just want to experience it :)

      • PriceIsRightHorns

        Do it! You won’t be disappointed.

      • SororSalsa

        I went to the SpellHouse homecoming about 10 years ago. Even though I didn’t go there, I had a great time. But living in the DC area, I’ve enjoyed HU homecoming a number of times and it’s always good.

  • A gift from THE Florida A&M University… You are welcome

    Mini Mix https://www.mixcloud.com/boweezy305/bo-weezy-famu-homecoming-mini-mix-clean/

    and if you want to fully ride out – http://www.audiomack.com/song/boweezy305/famu-pre-game-extended-mix

    • Ari

      I didn’t know this existed – thank you. Missing FAMU HC for the first time in ten years. Had to log off of FB…

  • A.G.

    I’m a Howard Alumna (HU we about to go IN this weekend!!!) and when I was in college, my dad would always implore me to support black owned restaurants/retailers/beauty salons etc specifically and especially during homecoming weekend.

    As if I wasn’t already going to do that.

    • Simone_was_taken

      Enjoy. The way my leave time and weekend obligations is set up. I’m have to sit this year out.

      • PhlyyPhree

        I’m waving at em all from my balcony.
        Been there, done that, still not sure Yardfest redux won’t be trash so I’ll share my liquor with myself thankyaverymuch

  • I got a “heeeyyyy big headdd” text yesterday. (haven’t heard from since the HBD text in January)

    It begins…

    • Other_guy13

      Mine started on my B-day 2 weeks ago….a perfect way to set up foolishness…but i’m out the game…what a waste of a good B-day text lol

    • brothaskeeper

      There’s a strong correlation between cuffing season and Homecoming (a.k.a. supplemental draft weekend).

      • Other_guy13

        Oh the draft…what a wonderful time of year

    • TeeChantel

      Girl, you know it’s starting. I got texts and FB messages – had to deactivate my fb account.

      • Other_guy13

        You that fine huh….http://i.imgur.com/Ay29K.jpg

        • TeeChantel

          BK know you stealing his gif?

          • Kas

            Stole, fixed it for you

            • TeeChantel

              Eh. Autocorrect.

          • Other_guy13

            He would approve of it’s usage. Now stop dodging the question

            • Kas

              She is dodging.

              • Other_guy13

                Agreed

      • PhlyyPhree

        YOU TOO?
        I deactivated fb and IG. And had a friend change my password to twitter.
        Yet and still, I got a carrier pigeon asking if I was coming to Yardfest “or at least tailgate so I can get my hug”.
        Yea, nah

        • Kas

          Gon and save that man a hug. All sadity and what not. :)

          • PhlyyPhree

            Sadddity dinnamug!!!
            I’m sure hugs will abound tomorrow. I’ll be in my house hugging my liquor

        • Other_guy13

          Them hugs be real though….don’t deny your fans

          • PhlyyPhree

            Riiighhhhtttt. I’m not going outside tomorrow. It’s supposed to be windy.

            • Other_guy13

              But…fine….maybe next time

        • TeeChantel

          LOL! Wow! Yeah man it is never ending lol

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Gotdamn, you women really get them hitting yall up that much? Yall must leave real good impressions

      • Kas

        You seent the gym pictures

        • Lol. I’ve been known to make a few dreams come true.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Nope..where they at?

          • MsSula

            Go do some research man! QueenAT is the truth. :)

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Ooooh I saw her pics and then fell in love!

          • Kas

            A couple of weeks back when folks where talking about their gym routines. A large contingent (all?) are apparently Amazons.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              I must see these pics. In the meantime I should take my own, and stop being all self conscience

  • MsCee

    Currently ducking and dodging at least 4 “hey strangers” lmfao. May the odds be ever in my favor. #PSCHomecoming2k16

  • MsCee

    Also, my bounce back game is soooo TRASH now. I went to Puerto Rico for a week…countless gallons of water, numerous hours of cardio and at least 10 “help me lawds” later…I still haven’t recovered.

    • Welcome to oldhead hood..lol

      • MsCee

        **Takes off shoes and prepares to make myself comfortable**…He he he

  • Other_guy13

    Yea, I’m not making it to Savannah State this year….Hate i’m missing the young Alumni party….but real life calls. Note to those participating in the foolishness….USE YO PTO….nobody needs you to come into work like you an extra on the Walking Dead…if you are above 30….just take a day….learn the lesson from others mistakes http://bestanimations.com/Military/soldier-army-military-animated-gif-31.gif

    • Gibbous

      *DEAD!*

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