Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

Ya Unnastand: Things Black Folks Do That White People Don’t Understand

I can’t lie, Black people do a lot of weird things. From naming our children after popular liquors to being upset that the media falsely portrays us as violent WHILE TALKING ABOUT a quadruple murder committed by your friendly neighborhood ninjas over a “gold-colored bracelet”, its no wonder that so many white women are fascinated by Black men. We’re like the enigmatic puzzle that makes you feel the rhythm and feel the rhyme.

I mean, it makes you get on up.

No Jodeci.

That was a two-for-one, by the way.

Well, despite the best laid plans of mice and men, there are some things that Black folks do that make complete and total sense that white people and others really don’t seem to understand (though some of our Hispanic brothers and sisters clearly get it). Since we’re in the business of enlightenment and since The Champ actually thanked you all for letting us be the best thing about your day – a personal high for VSB – I figure I should learn you something.

My guitar strums.

1. Rock baseball caps of random teams

Like most hat-wearing Black men, I have a hat collection that includes teams for which I couldn’t care less about and places I’ve never been. Apparently, white guys only wear hats for teams upon which they hold allegiance. White people, this is the thing, we sport said accessories because we like the colors and are fashionable. We’re a colorful group of colored people. The world is not Yankee’s fans, but that hat goes with EVERYTHING. I love my LA Dodgers hat, but I don’t give a damn about the Dodgers, I just love the colors. Same with my Oakland A’s hat, my St. Louis Cardinals hat, etc.

So my white friends out there, STOP asking me how my squad is going to do this year in our division as I don’t even know what division we’re in. I just like my hat. It looks cool, b*tch.

2. Loiter

Between Blacks and Mexicans, I’m not sure who’s the most loiterous, but we just love to stand outside in some random locale and, well, stand there. We’re a people of word and gathering. Why do you think Black folks are so religious. It’s loitering with purpose. Plus, half of us don’t pay our bills on time so our power can be cut anytime. Do you know what never gets cut off? Air. That sh*t is free right now and we like to use it. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving. Mostly, we as Black people, REALLY hate not being up on neighborhood gossip, so we all stand around with one another making sure we get it all. Loiter deez.

3. Complicated Dap

We’re musical. We’re rhythmic. We do everything to time. Hell, I’m writing this based on iambic pentameter. What does that have to do with the price of jockstraps in Kosovo? Nothing. I’ll bet the concept of “dap” started during the slavery days as another means to guide slaves to freedom. I mean, you can only sing “Wade In The Water” and “Follow the Drinking Gourd” for so long. White folks know about The Big Dipper. Plus, all Black folks can’t sing. Why do we still do it then? Because we’re cooler than everybody else. And we like to loiter.

4. Wear suits with 8 buttons

A lot of us have been broke in life. Which means we didn’t get any buttons. Just zippers. My first suit had 17 zippers in the places where buttons were supposed to go. Do you know what it feels like to not have buttons?  My remote controls had sewn on numbers for the first 17 years of my life. CLOTH. I couldn’t change the channel. I just watched Bonanza all day. We wear so many buttons for freedom and the American way. And also because a lot of us are just damn tacky. Steve Harvey, I’m looking at you. Oh, and Atlanta, Chicago, Mississippi, Detroit and pretty much the whole state of Florida, I’m ALSO looking at you.

Word.Life.

So my good people, what are some other things that Black people do that white people just don’t understand (that can be justified)?

Love. Peace. and Soul.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    * Black folks ROAST each other to pieces… with love. White folks don’t. They roast THEMSELVES. I’ve noticed this difference. To us, Dirty Dozens and judgment keeps our wits sharp. White folks sometimes think we’re just being mean. No. If I DON’T roast you, then consider yourself unloved.

    * Black folks are unable to wear dirty gymshoes. White folks don’t understand this b/c they make it a point to have dirty gymshoes, writing on their Chuck Taylor’s. BLASPHEME!!! A pair of dirty all-white Air Force Ones is a crime punishable by asswhoppings in 57 major metros in the U.S.

    * Black folks eat chitlings. Wait… white folks ain’t the only ones who don’t understand that one. THIS African does not comprehend why 150yrs AFTER slavery, Black folks still insist on eating something that smells like foot, stomach gas and FAIL.

    • P.

      @Luvvie,

      “Black folks are unable to wear dirty gymshoes. White folks don’t understand this b/c they make it a point to have dirty gymshoes, writing on their Chuck Taylor’s.”

      I noticed that white folks only use like one pair of shoes. I remember there was this white kid at my high school who wore the same kicks every single day, then when the soles literally started peeling off, he was like “damn I guess I need some new shoes.” You think?

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @P.,

        LMAO! I have seen countless Chucks worn til the cloth tore. And the DINGE!!! iCan’t. I always frown b/c my Chucks still look brand new, and I’ve had them for years. You can throw Chucks in the washer, gahtdangit!

      • entitled

        Maybe the kid was broke, I’m white I have a serious j collection upon many other brands. Don’t flatter yourself.

    • legitimate_soul

      @Luvvie,

      White folks roast, it’s just televised and on TV with a dais *rimshot* Naw, but seriously, they do. They might call it “ball bustin’” and sometimes it’s on the jugular. I’ve seen their roast turn into some mean harshness. Sometimes their roastin’ is fun and sometimes it’s on the guise of roastin’ when they really can’t stand that fool they clownin’. Black folks tend to straight up not be bothered with you and not even bother with the facade if they (we) don’t like you.

      Not all black people do chitlins’. I never did. For some I realize it’s tradition (New Years), and never forgetting how we made bullsh*t edible.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @legitimate_soul, yeah, despite being a southerner, i don’t do chitlins either. they just wrong.

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @legitimate_soul,

        Yeah white folks on TV roast each other but just doing regular old everyday roasting each other for NO reason? I ain’t seent it. Certainly not as much as we do.

    • Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish

      @Luvvie,

      My dear Thuggie, Black folks ain’t the only ones that love chitterlings. (Lawd KNOWS I don’t) Mexicans love the hell outta some chittlins’ – but they call it menudo. ; )

      • miss t-lee

        @Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
        “Mexicans love the hell outta some chittlins’ ”

        Otherwise known as tripas. They love them something serious.

        • http://twitter.com/ManAboutIt Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame)

          @miss t-lee, Tripas are not to be confused with honeycomb tripe, which is beef, right?

        • miss t-lee

          @Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame) ,
          I always figured they were the same thing in the technical sense, since it really is all cow intestines when we get right down to it…lol
          No?

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,

        Mexicans don’t count w/ this one. If we were to talmbout the stuff they do that’s similar to us, the list would be long

      • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

        @Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,

        your name is making me hungry as hell…lol

        Bond.

    • Wuyoung Agent of M.E.

      @Luvvie,
      “* Black folks eat chitlings. Wait… white folks ain’t the only ones who don’t understand that one. THIS African does not comprehend why 150yrs AFTER slavery, Black folks still insist on eating something that smells like foot, stomach gas and FAIL.”

      White folks down south eat the same crap too. This may explain why 75 % of the population below the Mason-Dixon are flirting with heart issues. I grew up on a farm and I’ve seen hogs slaughtered and the only part of the process that makes me cringe is the procuring of the chitlins. Hell, I’m surprised I still eat meat. My down south 2520 brethren will bring the Texas Pete if they know chitlins are involved. Nasty m**therf**kers.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Wuyoung Agent of M.E., you know, it’s amazing how many people don’t realize that Black and white folks down south all eat the same stuff since, ya know, we were cooking for them. a lot of southern culture is highly similar between us two groups.

        when you add in Fraggles though, it gets all haywire.

        • Wuyoung Agent of M.E.

          @Panama Jackson, Exactly. We cooked for some of them but the greatest trick massa pulled was duping the poor as f**k 2520 sharecroppers into thinking they were still superior to us. All the while massa was providing the same craptastic stroke-causing food to them too.

        • She_devilish

          Take it from a southern white chick, chitlins are quite tastey! Provided you can git past the smell. I too was raised on a farm and was one who helped “harvest” the chitlins. I still have nitemares about that. I spent my summers as a child with one of the most southern black ladies I have ever met, Nana Frances! She is the reason I have so much respect for black folks and there customs. God rest her soul, the world could use more people like her!

    • V Renee

      @Luvvie,

      Black folks ROAST each other to pieces… with love. White folks don’t. .

      Naw, they GO IN on one another. At least the ones in my department do. They bust balls left and right. You have to be quick on your feet messing around with them.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @V Renee, you know…i dont think i’d ever want to get into the dozens with white people. it just seems like tempers would flare and the n-word would come out and then i’d go blaming them all for slavery and yelling out crackers and then somebody would have to quit. which is likely gonna be the tan guy.

        • Miss Patterson

          @Panama Jackson, Hahahaha.

        • Brotha_down_unda

          How many people do you know that were a slave? Black people who still bring up slavery is the most annoying thing to white people. You fail to think that not every white person had ancestors that were here during slavery times as well as the fact that your own people sold your asses to whitey. Don’t believe me, talk to a REAL african and ask him why all other africans hate rich blacks there. Personally, I have yet to meet any jew who brings up the holocaust, so why bring up slavery? It only makes you look ignorant and hinders the progression of the dissolution of race in the modern era. Quit bringing it up and don’t be shocked when someone calls you the n-word when your being one. Word

    • http://nearandfar.wordpress.com The Tall One

      @Luvvie,
      Can’t cosign with the chitlins. I have never and will never eat something so nasty. You’ve got to draw the line somewhere.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @The Tall One, how about right here:

        ___________

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @The Tall One,

        I don’t eat Chitlings either. I’m saying I ALSO don’t understand them

        • she_devilish

          Nana Frances used to say “Ain’t no sense in wasting nothin”. She would take the chitlins and boil em up and make a stew with them. Said that is how she fed her family. Said the local white farmers would give em away to people just to not have them “sitting around smelling up the place”.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/db49c1a2fca1f481e908a155f341ccd0.png RocktheCatbox

      @Luvvie,
      …I dropped dead at stomach gas and FAIL. That is all.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Luvvie, * Black folks ROAST each other to pieces… with love. White folks don’t. They roast THEMSELVES. I’ve noticed this difference. To us, Dirty Dozens and judgment keeps our wits sharp. White folks sometimes think we’re just being mean. No. If I DON’T roast you, then consider yourself unloved.

      that with love thing is short lived though. the number one killer of black people between birth and death is disprespect. and you know black folks are a sensitive lot, what with that whole slavery thing and all…

    • Sula

      @Luvvie,

      THIS African does not comprehend why 150yrs AFTER slavery, Black folks still insist on eating something that smells like foot, stomach gas and FAIL.

      So I am assuming you do not eat tripes or any other animal innards? Because then I will understant your non-comprehension… and I will feel very, very sad for you.

      :)

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Sula,

        1. What is tripes?

        2. Nothing I eat smells like failure, bad tradition and feet… so no, I’m certainly not a fan of chitterlings.

        • lovli

          @Luvvie,

          I believe our people call it “shaki”. Its delicious

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @Luvvie,

      Chitlins are disgusting. I still wonder why someone would go through all that trouble to eat something that disgusting. For for the record: other ethnicities eat similiar foods as well. For example, Italians and Sufrite.

      Good observation on roasting. 2520′s are notorious for going in…on themselves. It’s self-loathing. Guess it’s done to prevent more video’s like Chris Rock’s (laughs).

      Bond.

    • Karol R.

      Eating chitlins, feet, tails, mountain oysters (testicles), tripe (tongues), brain, ears, etc is a sacrilege to me.

      I do not like that sort of thing. I am sorry we had to eat this garbage. It just saddens me when I think about it. It really does.

      It is one of those funny kinds of pain, though… the kind of ache no one really knows about because it seems so insignificant… too small too mention.

      But it sort of cuts me like a knife to know we (I mean African-American Slaves) were forced to eat intestines that had held waste in them… or little garbage-pail odds and ends. When we were so much more…

      would come to be so much more

      and are so much more.

  • Made In Hawaii

    “My first suit had 17 zippers in the places where buttons were supposed to go. Do you know what it feels like to not have buttons? My remote controls had sewn on numbers for the first 17 years of my life. CLOTH. I couldn’t change the channel. I just watched Bonanza all day”

    I literally have tears coming from my eyes from laughing at this…

    …and I was just watching the episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air when Aunt Viv was subbing for Carlton’s & Will’s teacher and she sung both, “Wade In The Water” and “Follow the Drinking Gourd” to their White classmates. LOL!

    Yesterday, my brother and his sons just came with a new dap…
    and it’s hella complicated too!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Made In Hawaii, yeah, thats what made me think of those two songs. the fresh prince is really fine television.

  • P.

    As someone who has quite an extensive New Era collection (50+, probably closer to 70), I kind of disagree with the logic behind #1, unless of course you don’t have a team. Assuming you live close, you can easily find your team’s fitted in any color or style you want. I have Orioles hats in just about every combination of colors that you can imagine a man would wear.

    Back to the topic:

    - Black people avoid the police at all costs. If someone knocks hard on the door, don’t try to be funny and say it’s the police when you know it’s not. White people don’t understand that you cannot even joke with us about ish like that.

    - Black people don’t waste food. Partly because I might not eat again that day, and partly because my parents wouldn’t let me leave the table until my plate was clean. I lived with two white dudes my sophomore year of college, and there’d be times when they’d order pizzas (notice the plural here), eat a couple slices, then throw the rest away, talkin bout some “I’m full” or “That hit the spot.” I was in disbelief.

    • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

      @P.,

      - Black people don’t waste food. Partly because I might not eat again that day, and partly because my parents wouldn’t let me leave the table until my plate was clean. I lived with two white dudes my sophomore year of college, and there’d be times when they’d order pizzas (notice the plural here), eat a couple slices, then throw the rest away, talkin bout some “I’m full” or “That hit the spot.” I was in disbelief.

      THIS. my friends think i’ve been scarred because i absolutely cannot get up until i have cleaned my plate as much as i possibly can. when i was younger i wasn’t allowed to get up until i’d eaten everything either. i guess that habit stuck. i feel all sorts of dissonance if i leave more than a fourth of the food on the plate.

      • Neighborhood Hussy

        @Muze, the clean plate conundrum has always been the bane of my existance. As a Weight Watcher repeat offender, I see why the skinny 2520 is always the program leader. Damn my people!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @P., As someone who has quite an extensive New Era collection (50+, probably closer to 70), I kind of disagree with the logic behind #1, unless of course you don’t have a team. Assuming you live close, you can easily find your team’s fitted in any color or style you want. I have Orioles hats in just about every combination of colors that you can imagine a man would wear.

      disagree all you want. Panama has spoken. it is written and it is law. didn’t you go to church yesterday?

  • TJOHN

    Black folks own basketball sneakers regardless of them playing ball or not. Black folks own running shoes and think the annual 5k is a raffle for $5,000. Black folks own timberland’s and don’t hike. Black folks’ choice of footwear is purely based upon style and not function. Coupled with this often times we will even purchase the same shoe in multiple colors.

    • V Renee

      @TJOHN,

      Black folks own running shoes and think the annual 5k is a raffle for $5,000 .

      BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Keisha Brown

      @TJOHN,

      Black folks own timberland’s and don’t hike
      iDied…

    • miss t-lee

      @TJOHN,
      “Black folks’ choice of footwear is purely based upon style and not function. Coupled with this often times we will even purchase the same shoe in multiple colors”

      guilty…lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @TJOHN, welcome and sh*t

      and um, word.life on your whole comment

    • thatchic

      @TJOHN,
      Black folks own running shoes and think the annual 5k is a raffle for $5,000 .

      NOW THAT’S FUNNY!!!!!

      My cousin and neice both work where they are on thier feet most of the day and I’ve told them both they need to get some New Balance but because of looks they keep buying Reebox’s and Nike’s and at least once every 3 mths one of them are calling me talking about they’ve injured themselves and what can they do to fix it. Ummm buy some New Balances!

  • knightnick

    lmao a suit with all zippers.

    Things Black People Do, YTs wouldn’t understand:
    1. the beating of children
    2. saving the grease from fried chicken in random jars
    3. mix kool-aid flavors

    • word of mouth

      @knightnick, I can’t stand the saving of the grease. Not only is it unsanitary IMO (I mean, just use fresh grease, sh*t, times ain’t that tough), I can’t stand always opening random-ass jelly jars and pickle jars and styrofoam cups filled with all kinds of garbage: garlic, grease, vegetable oil, sesame oil, motor oil, antifreeze, essence of oregano, worms, snails, puppy-dog tails… all types of sh*t. I feel like I’m in some sort of a game show, just trying to figure out what in the f*ck is in my refrigerator. Because you know we as a people are too gangster for labels. That’s for b*tches. #eyeroll

      • Dee

        @word of mouth, fresh grease just isn’t the same. We save bacon grease only, and strain it before we put it up.

      • Plain Ole Peyso

        @word of mouth,

        “motor oil, antifreeze, essence of oregano, worms, snails, puppy-dog tails…”

        DEAD

    • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

      @knightnick,

      CHUCH at mixin the kool-aid. I remember exposing one of my 2520 boys to mixed perfection. He was astounded. He was like, what kind you want, Cherry or Lemonade? My reply, “Yep”. lol

      • legitimate_soul

        @Saule Wright,

        Heyall yeah. Slice some lemons in that ‘ish too! “Church punch” like a mug! I couldn’t even get kool aid growing up. I had it at a friends or when I got to college.

        • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

          @legitimate_soul,

          and when you REALLY feelin’ yaself, put some Sprite in there. It’s like Crack with Ice in it.

          wait, that was terrible. You get what I’m sayin’ tho….I think.

          • Elephant in the room

            The article itself does explain a lot. Regrettably, most of you are simply pointing out things that po’folks do. NO, seriously. Mixing kool-aid, since I could open the wrapper! I was beat when I was a kid. That’s def not restricted to race. Disgusting food (if you can call it that) wrapped in intestines, look at half of the most famous french dishes out there. And the truth is black people do bash each other a lot more, it’s how most communicate. I give you no argument there. But, that contradicts what someone said about telling it straight up, cause if you care for someone you tell them, not belittle them in public. One thing that is definitely different is how you greet each other, and those who you’re ‘cool’ with. I see, all day, colored folks huggin’ friends all the time. There’s no such thing as a hand shake any more, it’s just hug, hug, hug. Or a fifteen second hand gesture between two people. Not bashing, just saying white folk don’t get it. Generally speaking. Another is calling each other Mister or Miss, but then just using the first name. Not saying I see it everywhere, but I see it very often and always where colored folk are involved. Can somebody explain it? Oh yeah, don’t talk about the hardships ‘we’ endured when you’re referring to unimagineable difficulties your Ancestors had to overcome. It just makes you fester self pity and look weak.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Saule Wright, youse a crackhead.

    • legitimate_soul

      @knightnick,

      My fam didn’t save the grease. I know folks who did. You had chicken, bacon, and fish grease. Three separate ones. I remember a teacher told us that the grease goes rancid, but most folks have done it so long, they grew an immunity.

    • http://nnhbb.blogspot.com Anna Renee

      @knightnick, not only the chicken grease, but the fish grease, the bacon grease, and the french fry grease each in their respective pickle, mayonaisse or jelly jar!! Speak a word!!

      • V Renee

        @Anna Renee,

        This is sooooo true. And gross. Mess around pick up a crisco can, thinking it’s new crisco. Naw that sh*t has been in there since 1982. Lol

        • Elephant in the room

          I can remember my ma and pops had some friends over cause they didn’t have a place to call home so we’d feed them a lotta times. One time this guy goes in and gets a plateful of mashed taters, instant looking and chomps a big spoonful into his mouth. He politely tells my pops something’s wrong with the taters, but my mom comes back with, “I didn’t make potatoes today…” YUCK, good old grease collection!

    • Jai Kensey

      @knightnick, #2

      HILARIOUS!!! Why do we do that??? I had to stop that tradition. No saved grease in my house.

    • CNotes

      @knightnick,

      Yessir on #3. Back in the day, we put fruit cocktail in our “Red” Kool Aid. Mostly when we were having bbq’s or crawfish boils (thought we would “impress” our guests) *dusting shoulder*. Couldn’t tell us nothing.

  • Candice

    Funny

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Candice, Thanks.

  • word of mouth

    1. Using washcloths. Apparently white folk just wipe their damn ass with the bar of soap and call it a day. I ask for a washcloth at a white person’s house and they hand me some 409 with it like I offered to clean that motherf*cker.

    2. Soul food. I’m sorry, I’ve been black all my life (but my parents are East African immigrants, so we don’t really have the same cuisine) and I barely understand soul food. It’s all the guts and foot and ass of the animal, fried within an inch of its life and served with a side of greens. Delicious, if you aren’t the type to ask lots of questions. (Cue Mo’Nique yelling about nasty-ass cold pig’s feet)

    3. Hair. WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND BLACK PEOPLE HAIR. It will never happen either. When I was young, my mama used to take me to white people salons (we lived in the ‘burbs) and basically the stylists would kick it for an hour, shampoo me and then do the #kanyeshrug and back the f*ck back like they did something.

    4. Why black people can use the n-word and they can’t. This may seem like a no-brainer to us, but they genuinely do not know why they can’t call us ninjas when we call them Saltines and Blancos. Or a few of them think they have enough capital (read: black friends) to gamble with their lives by using the n-word… with extra emphasis on the A, as if that makes it better. #killyourself

    • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

      @word of mouth,

      Washcloths….I go through washcloths like they are disposable. One for my face and body…that may make it two days. The one for the under….that’s gone each shower.

      • miss t-lee

        @Saule Wright,
        “Washcloths….I go through washcloths like they are disposable”

        You too? I have no less that 30 of them jumps and I’m a household of one…lol

      • Dee

        @Saule Wright, I actually use disposal washcloths. I can’t use the same one twice without washing it, and I don’t want to be caught without.

        • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

          @Dee,

          googlesearchpowers, activate

      • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

        @Saule Wright,

        See!!

        Yo, ppl think I’m just being ‘extra’ but I told them, you can’t just keep using those same joints over and over…I mean, you got access to a washer/dryer so, what’s the problem?!

        Ok…end rant…

        Bond.

    • Jahmar

      @word of mouth,
      #4 cosign
      But I am not completely sure that black folks have a ubiquitous stance on this issue. 2520′s using the N word is a definite no, no for me, but I know several ppl who really couldn’t give two cents about what they say. And what about East Asians, Indians, Hispanics etc.(Trust & believe that they ALL use it. Just befriend one on a social networking site if you don’t believe) Do they ever get a pass?

    • Deeds

      @word of mouth, Using washcloths. Apparently white folk just wipe their damn ass with the bar of soap and call it a day. I ask for a washcloth at a white person’s house and they hand me some 409 with it like I offered to clean that motherf*cker.

      I just found out that white people don’t use washcloths. I’m like what the hell do you use to wash with and why is that black folk are the ones to use them. Do others use it as well, since they sell it, there has to be more than just black folk to use washcloths.

      • http://nearandfar.wordpress.com The Tall One

        @Deeds,
        or lotion. They really don’t get that the skin needs to be moisturized everyday, not just when you want to hang at the beach and get a tan.

        They don’t understand ASH.

        • Dee

          @The Tall One, yup…i saw some product that claimed it lotioned you in the shower. I nearly died laughing in the store….it moisturized a bit more, but lotion was still necessary.

          “It puts the lotion on it’s skin”……yeah, could never figure out what was so bad about that single line.

        • Keisha Brown

          @The Tall One,

          preach.

        • V Renee

          @The Tall One,

          They don’t understand ASH. .

          They sure don’t!!!! And they don’t understand that it can’t be just ANY lotion.

        • http://nearandfar.wordpress.com The Tall One

          @The Tall One,
          It’s the Tall One again, Before I left the United States this time, I made sure to pack a lot of Cocoa Butter. Still have two huge jars of it here in Korea. I’m set for the summer. This year, I’m buying stock in the products that I use most and Palmer’s is definitely on that list.

      • http://stemartaen.com L

        @Deeds,

        No washcloths! Now, that’s just strange! My husband (yes he’s white) uses a washcloth, but I will have to ask him about this (if he’s in the minority). This no washcloth thing is news to me. ;-)

    • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

      @word of mouth,

      LMAO@ washcloths..
      cue how many times i’ve looked at the soap commercials.. and you see them with the soap in hand, AND NOTHING ELSE!!! i’m like, “soap can’t clean itself after you got your pubes on it.. IT NEEDS SOAP!!” what the hell?!?!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Nick_L_Odeon, you ever tried that soap and no washcloth thing? man it makes no sense. damn soap keeps slipping out your hand. and you know, i been to jail 7 times. after i drop the soap, the shower’s over and sh*t.

        • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

          @Panama Jackson, LOL!!! the soap has slipped from my hand when i was just trying to get it to the rag…

          say “yes” to solo showers and sh*t… lol

      • word of mouth

        @Nick_L_Odeon, No sh*t, I’ve legitimately seen a white person explain the whole “just soap” phenomenon that made perfect sense to me when I was high for like five seconds: soap is soap, it will clean itself.

        But then again, what the f*ck? Why are you washing your ass with the side of your hand? Buy yourself some cheap washcloths from the Dollar General (best believe I am not ballerific, I’m not splurging on some sh*t I’m just going to throw away) and make it do what it do, pimpin.

        • Yeah…SO!?!

          @word of mouth, Why are you washing your ass with the side of your hand?

          LMAO… yeah that isht is just nasty and awkwaaaard!

    • Scipio Africanus

      @word of mouth, When I was a pre-teen my cousin and I used to go to a summer camp in Lancaster, PA (I’m from Philly, he was from Long Island and Virginia Beach). We were the only spooks within miles. The showers were just one big room with 7 or 8 spigets. Me and my cousin were the only two mofos with washcloths, out of maybe 15 11 and 12 year odl boys. I can’t even imagine how you can really wash yoru body fully with just the bar of soap and the palm of your hand. Low, how does that work logistically?

    • Jai Kensey

      @word of mouth,

      Not only washcloths, napkins too! Black people love napkins!

      • http://twitter.com/Nick_L_Odeon Nick_L_Odeon

        @Jai Kensey, LOL!! although in my house, we call all napkins “Bounty”.. even if it’s generic.. “pass me two bounty, mek me sop up di juice wah spill”..

        • Sula

          @Nick_L_Odeon,

          We call them “Sopalin”… and the brand doesn’t even exist in the US… *smh*

    • OftenConfused

      @word of mouth,
      I cosign your whole post. Each point was great especially the hair. As a black woman I can not tell you the amount of times I have straight confused these white folk at work. Curly weave, staight weave, my hair, highlights, short hair, they be confused. Oh the questions I get.

      • word of mouth

        @OftenConfused, Sometimes white folk should just shut the f*ck up about hair when they’re speaking to a person of color because they just end up showing their assignorance.

        My natural hair texture is soft and tightly curled. Trust, it doesn’t look like any Garnier commercial, but it’s nice. When I straighten my hair, it is long and soft.

        Now, white folk, first question: is that a weave? Okay, semi-reasonable question because if f*cking puppies are getting tracks nowadays, you should just assume everybody is rocking the wig glue. I say no, then they decide to pet me (probably feeling for some sewn-in just to make sure I’m not lying on myself) and then say, “Oh, your hair is so soft! It’s nothing like regular black people’s hair.” #killyourself

        You’re dumb. What kind of f*cked up compliment is that? Thank you for bigging me up while demeaning my entire race. I just respond with “Becky, your hair isn’t looking so limp and lifeless today! Good for you!”

        • Elephant in the room

          Great comparison, bash white folks cause one treated you bad. Screw that hoe, but don’t generalize all whites for one screw up. I’ve complimented many black gals on their hair, only to find out later they be laughing at me cause I didn’t know it was a weave. Seriously, what a bunch of children. But, I don’t generalize all black gals as b*tches cause a few bad apples. And I know many white folk who use washclothes, and my household is among them. Don’t just try to put down another race b/c you think you’re superior or unique in your maneurisms, that’s tacky and ignorant. Get some knowledge and stop trying to bash people you don’t understand. This topic is not about that.

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @word of mouth,

      I think soul food is defined by the region (i.e. The south..mayne!).
      It’s not all fried ( taste that spaghetti & cheese..lol), but it’s history is creating something with little to nothing (rice & gravy).

      Bond.

  • legitimate_soul

    Black folks will stay “crispy” (fly, fresh to def). May be broke, but we gonna look good. Some people feel like it’s to our detriment, but that’s only the extreme folks/versions/examples. From being looked down upon, seen as less then, and when we didn’t have a choice, black folks generally take pride in their appearance and choose to look their own version of fly (that’s subjective). If it’s a doctor’s appointment, church, going into town, we historically dressed the part as having pride in ourselves and not being out there looking the fool. Folks take extreme examples and run with it, but I love that if we got one pair of pants, them joints might be patched, but clean and ironed.

    White people don’t understand our hair. They don’t understand that it’s as versatile as it is, they assume every black woman with long hair has a weave (Chris Rock’s movie didn’t help, plus they may have extensions themselves), they want to touch it, act surprised that it is soft, will love and compliment natural hair more than some black folks, don’t know we don’t have to wash our hair every day or every other day, and natural oils might work for our hair. I’d like to add that white people don’t know that our baby hair might be fine as there’s and kink up later. Got in a disagreement with a white lady of black kids because she thought an advertisement had to be a biracial child because the child’ baby hair was soft. It’s BABY HAIR! .

  • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

    *looks at black ID card* um, I ONLY rock my teams ballcaps. I’m from the Lou (St. Louis for the uninitiated) so since cutting my locs, you’d be hard pressed to find me sans Cardinals lid. I have no Rams hats yet, they tend to be kinda boring, however, I do have 3 Rams Jerseys and will wear them just like we didn’t land the number one pick. Oh, as far as the coordination, I have about 10 Cards hats, in all colors and styles.

    So, my point is…is my card still valid? *Checks his credit, looks around and sees nag champa and Jordans* Nevermind, don’t answer that.

    • http://twitter.com/ManAboutIt Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame)

      @Saule Wright, as far as Rams hats being boring, blame it on the eh-eh eh-eh-eh-NFL. They’re more proprietary and controlling with their branding than MLB or NBA. Could you imagine St. Patrick’s Day Cowboys gear for instance? Or a blue Raiders hat? Never gonna happen.

      • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

        @Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),

        valid! very valid!

    • JustMythoughts

      @Saule Wright, you used to be able to get fresh NFL hats, i think when they switched from new era to Reebok that went down the drain… and for the record i think the hat thing only refers to original colors/what the players wear on the field. I’ve had 2520′s come up to me like where did you get that hat in my favorite random color, and i wanted to say just go to your local hood spot, then i gave them some random website address

    • Wuyoung Agent of M.E.

      @Saule Wright, I don’t where very many hats any more but I will only fly my teams colors. It’s a personal man-law of mine.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Saule Wright, yeah, that team loyalty sh*t is some white sh*t, gangsta. step your confusiousness up, ninja.

      • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

        @Panama Jackson, lol, my confusiousness is on display when it comes to NFL jerseys. I rock legends, HOF or my team. Nothing less. Now, what to do with this McNabb Eagles jersey….

        • Keisha Brown

          @Saule Wright,

          Now, what to do with this McNabb Eagles jersey….

          when you figure it out.. please let me know.
          grrrr…..
          i mean really?? REDSKINS??? and i’m hearing grumbings of TO being signed with them as well..
          grr…

        • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

          @Keisha

          if hey sign TO….I will speed up my move OUT of the DMV area. No way do I want to be in this area.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Saule Wright, you must be nuts. if they signed TO AND McNabb that would make for the greatest sports soap opera/reality show in history. there’d be random TO sightings through DC and he’d take shots at McNabb all the time while McNabb would pretend he didnt care while eating soup.

          i bet McNabb would cry in the car.

        • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

          @Saule Wright,

          How crazy are the eagles?!?!! I mean, Kolb has 2 freaking games his throws over 300 yds, Vick (that’s my dude) is there but he hasn’t shown signs of old, and they are willing to trade way the all time leader in EVERY QB stat quarterback category for the team?!?! He’s made the playoff’s at least 5 times (over half) the time he’s been there, 1 super bowl (come on, that wasn’t his fault, Pinkston was dropping balls and pretended like the middle of the field was a landmine), etc.

          Now he’s coming to the ur-reah; I will pray for thee McNabb…

          Bond.

  • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

    Smoke Menthols – Look, I don’t smoke…anymore…but when I did….it’s GOTTA be the menthols. Kools, Benson&Hedges, Newports, OR if I’m feeling particularly sophistifunky, Clove’s. Don’t judge me….ahem.

    Walk like that: no explanation needed. It’s just like that fam.

    Laugh so animated: Cause if what the comedian said was really funny, clapping just won’t do. Shout out to Comedy Central where you must laugh like golf spectators clap.

    Play our music REALLY loud: I mean, honestly, If only I can hear it, you won’t realize how much MORE soulful and fly I am than you. It’s not personal…

    We like bootay ….it’s in our DNA. Don’t judge us.

    Did I mention Menthols? lol.

    • V Renee

      @Saule Wright,

      I agree with this whole list!

      Smoke Menthols – Look, I don’t smoke…anymore…but when I did…. .

      Like Paul Mooney said in reply to “Why do Black people smoke menthol?”, Because that’s what’s in Newports. iDied when he said that.

      Re: The Walk. You can’t deny it. Even Obama has a pimp stroll that I’ve seen him slip up and do a time or two. LOL

      • miss t-lee

        @V Renee,
        I love to see Barack stroll up to the podium. Especially when he’s coming out to the rose garden–that ish will never get old to me!! LOL

        • Keisha Brown

          @miss t-lee,

          amen!! i soo have a crush on your prez.
          especially when he starts his sentence off with look(pause)… (cuz you know in his head he’s saying..look dumbass..).

          and him watching ball with Clark Kellogg during the Final Four. that SWAG…

          *swoons…

        • V Renee

          @miss t-lee,

          “I love to see Barack stroll up to the podium.”

          ME TOO!!! I’ve been guilty of rewinding, JUST so I could see his stroll to the podium again. LOL

        • miss t-lee

          @ Keisha Brown,
          Word? I totally missed that Final Four spot.

          @V Renee,
          LMAO at you screwing and chopping Barack’s podium stroll.

        • Keisha Brown

          @miss t-lee,

          yeah, it was during halftime of the msu/baylor game. he came back and won after a rough start. i’m sure Clark let the prez win. lol.

        • MzPW

          @miss t-lee,

          yeah, it was during halftime of the msu/baylor game. he came back and won after a rough start. i’m sure Clark let the prez win. lol.
          —————————————————–
          @ Keisha Brown- now, I dunno about Clark letting Pres. Obama win. Mr. Obama has got a pret-ty nice lil’ jumper on him…

    • Caballeroso (resident nudist)

      @Saule Wright,
      “Play our music REALLY loud: I mean, honestly, If only I can hear it, you won’t realize how much MORE soulful and fly I am than you. It’s not personal…”

      I think we may be loosing our claim to this one. I was at the car wash yesterday thinking “Damn, why do we (as black people) have to blast our music so damn loud.” To my surprise, I rounded the corner to see that Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade” was blasting from a Toyota Corolla being driven by a blonde 2520. She couldn’t have been more than 20 years old.

      • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

        @Caballeroso (resident nudist),

        um, Lemonade doesn’t qualify as music. We still got it.

        • Plain Ole Peyso

          @Saule Wright,

          Greatest point ever

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Saule Wright, you smokin’ rocks. that beat is insane.

        • http://WWW.ITSSAULEWRIGHT.BLOGSPOT.COM Saule Wright

          @Panama Jackson

          the BEAT is only one aspect of the song.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Saule Wright, i disagree. when it comes to Gucci Mane and something called a Wacka Flocka Flame, the beat is the only part of the song worth mentioning (and in “lemonade’s” case, the hook). therefore, ipso facto, de lorian, the beat makes it dope song.

          no NWA track 8 on straight outta compton.

      • Keisha Brown

        @Caballeroso (resident nudist),

        i co-sign. i remember when if i heard reggae/dancehall (and not sean paul or kingston who don’t actually count)..i could count on being holla’d at (ay yo..psst..miss blue shirt! yuh look nice!..psst..ay yo daughta…). now? it’s everyone and anyone.

      • Sula

        @Caballeroso (resident nudist),

        I rounded the corner to see that Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade” was blasting from a Toyota Corolla being driven by a blonde 2520.

        I swear they stay doing that! Those blonde 2520 girls with the music all up and booming… I usually shake my head while smiling… and I don’t know why. :)

      • El_Saltino_Blanco

        You should hear Nirvana on 2 20inch subs…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Saule Wright, Play our music REALLY loud: I mean, honestly, If only I can hear it, you won’t realize how much MORE soulful and fly I am than you. It’s not personal…

      yeah, that’s true as hell. i’m grown and i still blast my music, whether its frank sinatra, T.I., or bob marley like i did this morning. nobody was waiting in vain this morning because everybody at the bus stop got to listen to bob marley.

      • Superior Motherload

        @Panama Jackson,
        “nobody was waiting in vain this morning because everybody at the bus stop got to listen to bob marley.” So dead with tears in my eyes!

      • http://nnhbb.blogspot.com Anna Renee

        @Panama Jackson, Waiting in vain by Bob is only meant to be blasted, and as loud as your cheap system will allow!!
        I dont wanna I dont wanna I dont wanna I dont wanna wait in vain! No I, No I, No no no I, no I! Whew, let me go pull out my Bob Marley!!
        I’m probably growner than you and I GOTS to play it loud! What the point if I dont? And I’m a little disappointed if I think nobody can hear it–all the more reason to blast it!
        How can anybody NOT understand these things? (Hmmm, Imma have to get some Frank and play Him loud–that might work for me!!

    • http://blkbond.blogspot.com BlkBond

      @Saule Wright,

      I’m gonna co-sign this one.

      I keep my bop in timbs or cole haans. Benson & Hedges..wow, that’s what older women used to smoke when I was younger.

      Bootay = yeaaaah (jeezy voice). I can’t front..when I see a fat one, seems like everything stops or slows down…but the a$$ (laughs). Matter of fact…(**gets up to see if my Rican co-workers are walking around..lol)

      Bond.

    • Humble_One

      @Saule Wright,

      I think the cigarettes Black folks smoke that aren’t menthol are the red Pall Malls.

    • http://nnhbb.blogspot.com Anna Renee

      @Saule Wright, Is that why I even have my gospel music boomin’? And feel the need to roll the windows down, on Sunday morning as I drive thru the town blaring my J Moss/Byron Cage? Is that a black thang? Word!!