I can’t lie, Black people do a lot of weird things. From naming our children after popular liquors to being upset that the media falsely portrays us as violent WHILE TALKING ABOUT a quadruple murder committed by your friendly neighborhood ninjas over a “gold-colored bracelet”, its no wonder that so many white women are fascinated by Black men. We’re like the enigmatic puzzle that makes you feel the rhythm and feel the rhyme.
I mean, it makes you get on up.
No Jodeci.
That was a two-for-one, by the way.
Well, despite the best laid plans of mice and men, there are some things that Black folks do that make complete and total sense that white people and others really don’t seem to understand (though some of our Hispanic brothers and sisters clearly get it). Since we’re in the business of enlightenment and since The Champ actually thanked you all for letting us be the best thing about your day – a personal high for VSB – I figure I should learn you something.
My guitar strums.
1. Rock baseball caps of random teams
Like most hat-wearing Black men, I have a hat collection that includes teams for which I couldn’t care less about and places I’ve never been. Apparently, white guys only wear hats for teams upon which they hold allegiance. White people, this is the thing, we sport said accessories because we like the colors and are fashionable. We’re a colorful group of colored people. The world is not Yankee’s fans, but that hat goes with EVERYTHING. I love my LA Dodgers hat, but I don’t give a damn about the Dodgers, I just love the colors. Same with my Oakland A’s hat, my St. Louis Cardinals hat, etc.
So my white friends out there, STOP asking me how my squad is going to do this year in our division as I don’t even know what division we’re in. I just like my hat. It looks cool, b*tch.
2. Loiter
Between Blacks and Mexicans, I’m not sure who’s the most loiterous, but we just love to stand outside in some random locale and, well, stand there. We’re a people of word and gathering. Why do you think Black folks are so religious. It’s loitering with purpose. Plus, half of us don’t pay our bills on time so our power can be cut anytime. Do you know what never gets cut off? Air. That sh*t is free right now and we like to use it. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving. Mostly, we as Black people, REALLY hate not being up on neighborhood gossip, so we all stand around with one another making sure we get it all. Loiter deez.
3. Complicated Dap
We’re musical. We’re rhythmic. We do everything to time. Hell, I’m writing this based on iambic pentameter. What does that have to do with the price of jockstraps in Kosovo? Nothing. I’ll bet the concept of “dap” started during the slavery days as another means to guide slaves to freedom. I mean, you can only sing “Wade In The Water” and “Follow the Drinking Gourd” for so long. White folks know about The Big Dipper. Plus, all Black folks can’t sing. Why do we still do it then? Because we’re cooler than everybody else. And we like to loiter.
4. Wear suits with 8 buttons
A lot of us have been broke in life. Which means we didn’t get any buttons. Just zippers. My first suit had 17 zippers in the places where buttons were supposed to go. Do you know what it feels like to not have buttons? My remote controls had sewn on numbers for the first 17 years of my life. CLOTH. I couldn’t change the channel. I just watched Bonanza all day. We wear so many buttons for freedom and the American way. And also because a lot of us are just damn tacky. Steve Harvey, I’m looking at you. Oh, and Atlanta, Chicago, Mississippi, Detroit and pretty much the whole state of Florida, I’m ALSO looking at you.
Word.Life.
So my good people, what are some other things that Black people do that white people just don’t understand (that can be justified)?
Love. Peace. and Soul.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
* Black folks ROAST each other to pieces… with love. White folks don’t. They roast THEMSELVES. I’ve noticed this difference. To us, Dirty Dozens and judgment keeps our wits sharp. White folks sometimes think we’re just being mean. No. If I DON’T roast you, then consider yourself unloved.
* Black folks are unable to wear dirty gymshoes. White folks don’t understand this b/c they make it a point to have dirty gymshoes, writing on their Chuck Taylor’s. BLASPHEME!!! A pair of dirty all-white Air Force Ones is a crime punishable by asswhoppings in 57 major metros in the U.S.
* Black folks eat chitlings. Wait… white folks ain’t the only ones who don’t understand that one. THIS African does not comprehend why 150yrs AFTER slavery, Black folks still insist on eating something that smells like foot, stomach gas and FAIL.
@Luvvie,
“Black folks are unable to wear dirty gymshoes. White folks don’t understand this b/c they make it a point to have dirty gymshoes, writing on their Chuck Taylor’s.”
I noticed that white folks only use like one pair of shoes. I remember there was this white kid at my high school who wore the same kicks every single day, then when the soles literally started peeling off, he was like “damn I guess I need some new shoes.” You think?
@P.,
LMAO! I have seen countless Chucks worn til the cloth tore. And the DINGE!!! iCan’t. I always frown b/c my Chucks still look brand new, and I’ve had them for years. You can throw Chucks in the washer, gahtdangit!
@Luvvie,
White folks roast, it’s just televised and on TV with a dais *rimshot* Naw, but seriously, they do. They might call it “ball bustin’” and sometimes it’s on the jugular. I’ve seen their roast turn into some mean harshness. Sometimes their roastin’ is fun and sometimes it’s on the guise of roastin’ when they really can’t stand that fool they clownin’. Black folks tend to straight up not be bothered with you and not even bother with the facade if they (we) don’t like you.
Not all black people do chitlins’. I never did. For some I realize it’s tradition (New Years), and never forgetting how we made bullsh*t edible.
@legitimate_soul, yeah, despite being a southerner, i don’t do chitlins either. they just wrong.
@legitimate_soul,
Yeah white folks on TV roast each other but just doing regular old everyday roasting each other for NO reason? I ain’t seent it. Certainly not as much as we do.
@Luvvie,
My dear Thuggie, Black folks ain’t the only ones that love chitterlings. (Lawd KNOWS I don’t) Mexicans love the hell outta some chittlins’ – but they call it menudo. ; )
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
“Mexicans love the hell outta some chittlins’ ”
Otherwise known as tripas. They love them something serious.
@miss t-lee, Tripas are not to be confused with honeycomb tripe, which is beef, right?
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame) ,
I always figured they were the same thing in the technical sense, since it really is all cow intestines when we get right down to it…lol
No?
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
Mexicans don’t count w/ this one. If we were to talmbout the stuff they do that’s similar to us, the list would be long
@Redbeanznrice w/Cajun Catfish,
your name is making me hungry as hell…lol
Bond.
@Luvvie,
“* Black folks eat chitlings. Wait… white folks ain’t the only ones who don’t understand that one. THIS African does not comprehend why 150yrs AFTER slavery, Black folks still insist on eating something that smells like foot, stomach gas and FAIL.”
White folks down south eat the same crap too. This may explain why 75 % of the population below the Mason-Dixon are flirting with heart issues. I grew up on a farm and I’ve seen hogs slaughtered and the only part of the process that makes me cringe is the procuring of the chitlins. Hell, I’m surprised I still eat meat. My down south 2520 brethren will bring the Texas Pete if they know chitlins are involved. Nasty m**therf**kers.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., you know, it’s amazing how many people don’t realize that Black and white folks down south all eat the same stuff since, ya know, we were cooking for them. a lot of southern culture is highly similar between us two groups.
when you add in Fraggles though, it gets all haywire.
@Panama Jackson, Exactly. We cooked for some of them but the greatest trick massa pulled was duping the poor as f**k 2520 sharecroppers into thinking they were still superior to us. All the while massa was providing the same craptastic stroke-causing food to them too.
Take it from a southern white chick, chitlins are quite tastey! Provided you can git past the smell. I too was raised on a farm and was one who helped “harvest” the chitlins. I still have nitemares about that. I spent my summers as a child with one of the most southern black ladies I have ever met, Nana Frances! She is the reason I have so much respect for black folks and there customs. God rest her soul, the world could use more people like her!
@Luvvie,
Black folks ROAST each other to pieces… with love. White folks don’t. .
Naw, they GO IN on one another. At least the ones in my department do. They bust balls left and right. You have to be quick on your feet messing around with them.
@V Renee, you know…i dont think i’d ever want to get into the dozens with white people. it just seems like tempers would flare and the n-word would come out and then i’d go blaming them all for slavery and yelling out crackers and then somebody would have to quit. which is likely gonna be the tan guy.
@Panama Jackson, Hahahaha.
@Luvvie,
Can’t cosign with the chitlins. I have never and will never eat something so nasty. You’ve got to draw the line somewhere.
@The Tall One, how about right here:
___________
@The Tall One,
I don’t eat Chitlings either. I’m saying I ALSO don’t understand them
Nana Frances used to say “Ain’t no sense in wasting nothin”. She would take the chitlins and boil em up and make a stew with them. Said that is how she fed her family. Said the local white farmers would give em away to people just to not have them “sitting around smelling up the place”.
@Luvvie,
…I dropped dead at stomach gas and FAIL. That is all.
@Luvvie, * Black folks ROAST each other to pieces… with love. White folks don’t. They roast THEMSELVES. I’ve noticed this difference. To us, Dirty Dozens and judgment keeps our wits sharp. White folks sometimes think we’re just being mean. No. If I DON’T roast you, then consider yourself unloved.
that with love thing is short lived though. the number one killer of black people between birth and death is disprespect. and you know black folks are a sensitive lot, what with that whole slavery thing and all…
@Luvvie,
THIS African does not comprehend why 150yrs AFTER slavery, Black folks still insist on eating something that smells like foot, stomach gas and FAIL.
So I am assuming you do not eat tripes or any other animal innards? Because then I will understant your non-comprehension… and I will feel very, very sad for you.
@Sula,
1. What is tripes?
2. Nothing I eat smells like failure, bad tradition and feet… so no, I’m certainly not a fan of chitterlings.
@Luvvie,
I believe our people call it “shaki”. Its delicious
@Luvvie,
Chitlins are disgusting. I still wonder why someone would go through all that trouble to eat something that disgusting. For for the record: other ethnicities eat similiar foods as well. For example, Italians and Sufrite.
Good observation on roasting. 2520′s are notorious for going in…on themselves. It’s self-loathing. Guess it’s done to prevent more video’s like Chris Rock’s (laughs).
Bond.
Eating chitlins, feet, tails, mountain oysters (testicles), tripe (tongues), brain, ears, etc is a sacrilege to me.
I do not like that sort of thing. I am sorry we had to eat this garbage. It just saddens me when I think about it. It really does.
It is one of those funny kinds of pain, though… the kind of ache no one really knows about because it seems so insignificant… too small too mention.
But it sort of cuts me like a knife to know we (I mean African-American Slaves) were forced to eat intestines that had held waste in them… or little garbage-pail odds and ends. When we were so much more…
would come to be so much more
and are so much more.
“My first suit had 17 zippers in the places where buttons were supposed to go. Do you know what it feels like to not have buttons? My remote controls had sewn on numbers for the first 17 years of my life. CLOTH. I couldn’t change the channel. I just watched Bonanza all day”
I literally have tears coming from my eyes from laughing at this…
…and I was just watching the episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air when Aunt Viv was subbing for Carlton’s & Will’s teacher and she sung both, “Wade In The Water” and “Follow the Drinking Gourd” to their White classmates. LOL!
Yesterday, my brother and his sons just came with a new dap…
and it’s hella complicated too!
@Made In Hawaii, yeah, thats what made me think of those two songs. the fresh prince is really fine television.
As someone who has quite an extensive New Era collection (50+, probably closer to 70), I kind of disagree with the logic behind #1, unless of course you don’t have a team. Assuming you live close, you can easily find your team’s fitted in any color or style you want. I have Orioles hats in just about every combination of colors that
you can imaginea man would wear.Back to the topic:
- Black people avoid the police at all costs. If someone knocks hard on the door, don’t try to be funny and say it’s the police when you know it’s not. White people don’t understand that you cannot even joke with us about ish like that.
- Black people don’t waste food. Partly because I might not eat again that day, and partly because my parents wouldn’t let me leave the table until my plate was clean. I lived with two white dudes my sophomore year of college, and there’d be times when they’d order pizzas (notice the plural here), eat a couple slices, then throw the rest away, talkin bout some “I’m full” or “That hit the spot.” I was in disbelief.
@P.,
- Black people don’t waste food. Partly because I might not eat again that day, and partly because my parents wouldn’t let me leave the table until my plate was clean. I lived with two white dudes my sophomore year of college, and there’d be times when they’d order pizzas (notice the plural here), eat a couple slices, then throw the rest away, talkin bout some “I’m full” or “That hit the spot.” I was in disbelief.
THIS. my friends think i’ve been scarred because i absolutely cannot get up until i have cleaned my plate as much as i possibly can. when i was younger i wasn’t allowed to get up until i’d eaten everything either. i guess that habit stuck. i feel all sorts of dissonance if i leave more than a fourth of the food on the plate.
@Muze, the clean plate conundrum has always been the bane of my existance. As a Weight Watcher repeat offender, I see why the skinny 2520 is always the program leader. Damn my people!
@P., As someone who has quite an extensive New Era collection (50+, probably closer to 70), I kind of disagree with the logic behind #1, unless of course you don’t have a team. Assuming you live close, you can easily find your team’s fitted in any color or style you want. I have Orioles hats in just about every combination of colors that you can imagine a man would wear.
disagree all you want. Panama has spoken. it is written and it is law. didn’t you go to church yesterday?
Black folks own basketball sneakers regardless of them playing ball or not. Black folks own running shoes and think the annual 5k is a raffle for $5,000. Black folks own timberland’s and don’t hike. Black folks’ choice of footwear is purely based upon style and not function. Coupled with this often times we will even purchase the same shoe in multiple colors.
@TJOHN,
Black folks own running shoes and think the annual 5k is a raffle for $5,000 .
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
@TJOHN,
Black folks own timberland’s and don’t hike
iDied…
@TJOHN,
“Black folks’ choice of footwear is purely based upon style and not function. Coupled with this often times we will even purchase the same shoe in multiple colors”
guilty…lol
@TJOHN, welcome and sh*t
and um, word.life on your whole comment
@TJOHN,
Black folks own running shoes and think the annual 5k is a raffle for $5,000 .
NOW THAT’S FUNNY!!!!!
My cousin and neice both work where they are on thier feet most of the day and I’ve told them both they need to get some New Balance but because of looks they keep buying Reebox’s and Nike’s and at least once every 3 mths one of them are calling me talking about they’ve injured themselves and what can they do to fix it. Ummm buy some New Balances!
lmao a suit with all zippers.
Things Black People Do, YTs wouldn’t understand:
1. the beating of children
2. saving the grease from fried chicken in random jars
3. mix kool-aid flavors
@knightnick, I can’t stand the saving of the grease. Not only is it unsanitary IMO (I mean, just use fresh grease, sh*t, times ain’t that tough), I can’t stand always opening random-ass jelly jars and pickle jars and styrofoam cups filled with all kinds of garbage: garlic, grease, vegetable oil, sesame oil, motor oil, antifreeze, essence of oregano, worms, snails, puppy-dog tails… all types of sh*t. I feel like I’m in some sort of a game show, just trying to figure out what in the f*ck is in my refrigerator. Because you know we as a people are too gangster for labels. That’s for b*tches. #eyeroll
@word of mouth, fresh grease just isn’t the same. We save bacon grease only, and strain it before we put it up.
@word of mouth,
“motor oil, antifreeze, essence of oregano, worms, snails, puppy-dog tails…”
DEAD
@knightnick,
CHUCH at mixin the kool-aid. I remember exposing one of my 2520 boys to mixed perfection. He was astounded. He was like, what kind you want, Cherry or Lemonade? My reply, “Yep”. lol
@Saule Wright,
Heyall yeah. Slice some lemons in that ‘ish too! “Church punch” like a mug! I couldn’t even get kool aid growing up. I had it at a friends or when I got to college.
@legitimate_soul,
and when you REALLY feelin’ yaself, put some Sprite in there. It’s like Crack with Ice in it.
wait, that was terrible. You get what I’m sayin’ tho….I think.
@Saule Wright, youse a crackhead.
@knightnick,
My fam didn’t save the grease. I know folks who did. You had chicken, bacon, and fish grease. Three separate ones. I remember a teacher told us that the grease goes rancid, but most folks have done it so long, they grew an immunity.
@knightnick, not only the chicken grease, but the fish grease, the bacon grease, and the french fry grease each in their respective pickle, mayonaisse or jelly jar!! Speak a word!!
@Anna Renee,
This is sooooo true. And gross. Mess around pick up a crisco can, thinking it’s new crisco. Naw that sh*t has been in there since 1982. Lol
@knightnick, #2
HILARIOUS!!! Why do we do that??? I had to stop that tradition. No saved grease in my house.
@knightnick,
Yessir on #3. Back in the day, we put fruit cocktail in our “Red” Kool Aid. Mostly when we were having bbq’s or crawfish boils (thought we would “impress” our guests) *dusting shoulder*. Couldn’t tell us nothing.
Funny
@Candice, Thanks.
1. Using washcloths. Apparently white folk just wipe their damn ass with the bar of soap and call it a day. I ask for a washcloth at a white person’s house and they hand me some 409 with it like I offered to clean that motherf*cker.
2. Soul food. I’m sorry, I’ve been black all my life (but my parents are East African immigrants, so we don’t really have the same cuisine) and I barely understand soul food. It’s all the guts and foot and ass of the animal, fried within an inch of its life and served with a side of greens. Delicious, if you aren’t the type to ask lots of questions. (Cue Mo’Nique yelling about nasty-ass cold pig’s feet)
3. Hair. WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND BLACK PEOPLE HAIR. It will never happen either. When I was young, my mama used to take me to white people salons (we lived in the ‘burbs) and basically the stylists would kick it for an hour, shampoo me and then do the #kanyeshrug and back the f*ck back like they did something.
4. Why black people can use the n-word and they can’t. This may seem like a no-brainer to us, but they genuinely do not know why they can’t call us ninjas when we call them Saltines and Blancos. Or a few of them think they have enough capital (read: black friends) to gamble with their lives by using the n-word… with extra emphasis on the A, as if that makes it better. #killyourself
@word of mouth,
Washcloths….I go through washcloths like they are disposable. One for my face and body…that may make it two days. The one for the under….that’s gone each shower.
@Saule Wright,
“Washcloths….I go through washcloths like they are disposable”
You too? I have no less that 30 of them jumps and I’m a household of one…lol
@Saule Wright, I actually use disposal washcloths. I can’t use the same one twice without washing it, and I don’t want to be caught without.
@Dee,
googlesearchpowers, activate
@Saule Wright,
See!!
Yo, ppl think I’m just being ‘extra’ but I told them, you can’t just keep using those same joints over and over…I mean, you got access to a washer/dryer so, what’s the problem?!
Ok…end rant…
Bond.
@word of mouth,
#4 cosign
But I am not completely sure that black folks have a ubiquitous stance on this issue. 2520′s using the N word is a definite no, no for me, but I know several ppl who really couldn’t give two cents about what they say. And what about East Asians, Indians, Hispanics etc.(Trust & believe that they ALL use it. Just befriend one on a social networking site if you don’t believe) Do they ever get a pass?
@word of mouth, Using washcloths. Apparently white folk just wipe their damn ass with the bar of soap and call it a day. I ask for a washcloth at a white person’s house and they hand me some 409 with it like I offered to clean that motherf*cker.
I just found out that white people don’t use washcloths. I’m like what the hell do you use to wash with and why is that black folk are the ones to use them. Do others use it as well, since they sell it, there has to be more than just black folk to use washcloths.
@Deeds,
or lotion. They really don’t get that the skin needs to be moisturized everyday, not just when you want to hang at the beach and get a tan.
They don’t understand ASH.
@The Tall One, yup…i saw some product that claimed it lotioned you in the shower. I nearly died laughing in the store….it moisturized a bit more, but lotion was still necessary.
“It puts the lotion on it’s skin”……yeah, could never figure out what was so bad about that single line.
@The Tall One,
preach.
@The Tall One,
They don’t understand ASH. .
They sure don’t!!!! And they don’t understand that it can’t be just ANY lotion.
@The Tall One,
It’s the Tall One again, Before I left the United States this time, I made sure to pack a lot of Cocoa Butter. Still have two huge jars of it here in Korea. I’m set for the summer. This year, I’m buying stock in the products that I use most and Palmer’s is definitely on that list.
@Deeds,
No washcloths! Now, that’s just strange! My husband (yes he’s white) uses a washcloth, but I will have to ask him about this (if he’s in the minority). This no washcloth thing is news to me.
@word of mouth,
LMAO@ washcloths..
cue how many times i’ve looked at the soap commercials.. and you see them with the soap in hand, AND NOTHING ELSE!!! i’m like, “soap can’t clean itself after you got your pubes on it.. IT NEEDS SOAP!!” what the hell?!?!
@Nick_L_Odeon, you ever tried that soap and no washcloth thing? man it makes no sense. damn soap keeps slipping out your hand. and you know, i been to jail 7 times. after i drop the soap, the shower’s over and sh*t.
@Panama Jackson, LOL!!! the soap has slipped from my hand when i was just trying to get it to the rag…
say “yes” to solo showers and sh*t… lol
@Nick_L_Odeon, No sh*t, I’ve legitimately seen a white person explain the whole “just soap” phenomenon that made perfect sense to me
when I was highfor like five seconds: soap is soap, it will clean itself.But then again, what the f*ck? Why are you washing your ass with the side of your hand? Buy yourself some cheap washcloths from the Dollar General (best believe I am not ballerific, I’m not splurging on some sh*t I’m just going to throw away) and make it do what it do, pimpin.
@word of mouth, Why are you washing your ass with the side of your hand?
LMAO… yeah that isht is just nasty and awkwaaaard!
@word of mouth, When I was a pre-teen my cousin and I used to go to a summer camp in Lancaster, PA (I’m from Philly, he was from Long Island and Virginia Beach). We were the only spooks within miles. The showers were just one big room with 7 or 8 spigets. Me and my cousin were the only two mofos with washcloths, out of maybe 15 11 and 12 year odl boys. I can’t even imagine how you can really wash yoru body fully with just the bar of soap and the palm of your hand. Low, how does that work logistically?
@word of mouth,
Not only washcloths, napkins too! Black people love napkins!
@Jai Kensey, LOL!! although in my house, we call all napkins “Bounty”.. even if it’s generic.. “pass me two bounty, mek me sop up di juice wah spill”..
@Nick_L_Odeon,
We call them “Sopalin”… and the brand doesn’t even exist in the US… *smh*
@word of mouth,
I cosign your whole post. Each point was great especially the hair. As a black woman I can not tell you the amount of times I have straight confused these white folk at work. Curly weave, staight weave, my hair, highlights, short hair, they be confused. Oh the questions I get.
@OftenConfused, Sometimes white folk should just shut the f*ck up about hair when they’re speaking to a person of color because they just end up showing their
assignorance.My natural hair texture is soft and tightly curled. Trust, it doesn’t look like any Garnier commercial, but it’s nice. When I straighten my hair, it is long and soft.
Now, white folk, first question: is that a weave? Okay, semi-reasonable question because if f*cking puppies are getting tracks nowadays, you should just assume everybody is rocking the wig glue. I say no, then they decide to pet me (probably feeling for some sewn-in just to make sure I’m not lying on myself) and then say, “Oh, your hair is so soft! It’s nothing like regular black people’s hair.” #killyourself
You’re dumb. What kind of f*cked up compliment is that? Thank you for bigging me up while demeaning my entire race. I just respond with “Becky, your hair isn’t looking so limp and lifeless today! Good for you!”
@word of mouth,
I think soul food is defined by the region (i.e. The south..mayne!).
It’s not all fried ( taste that spaghetti & cheese..lol), but it’s history is creating something with little to nothing (rice & gravy).
Bond.
Black folks will stay “crispy” (fly, fresh to def). May be broke, but we gonna look good. Some people feel like it’s to our detriment, but that’s only the extreme folks/versions/examples. From being looked down upon, seen as less then, and when we didn’t have a choice, black folks generally take pride in their appearance and choose to look their own version of fly (that’s subjective). If it’s a doctor’s appointment, church, going into town, we historically dressed the part as having pride in ourselves and not being out there looking the fool. Folks take extreme examples and run with it, but I love that if we got one pair of pants, them joints might be patched, but clean and ironed.
White people don’t understand our hair. They don’t understand that it’s as versatile as it is, they assume every black woman with long hair has a weave (Chris Rock’s movie didn’t help, plus they may have extensions themselves), they want to touch it, act surprised that it is soft, will love and compliment natural hair more than some black folks, don’t know we don’t have to wash our hair every day or every other day, and natural oils might work for our hair. I’d like to add that white people don’t know that our baby hair might be fine as there’s and kink up later. Got in a disagreement with a white lady of black kids because she thought an advertisement had to be a biracial child because the child’ baby hair was soft. It’s BABY HAIR! .
*looks at black ID card* um, I ONLY rock my teams ballcaps. I’m from the Lou (St. Louis for the uninitiated) so since cutting my locs, you’d be hard pressed to find me sans Cardinals lid. I have no Rams hats yet, they tend to be kinda boring, however, I do have 3 Rams Jerseys and will wear them just like we didn’t land the number one pick. Oh, as far as the coordination, I have about 10 Cards hats, in all colors and styles.
So, my point is…is my card still valid? *Checks his credit, looks around and sees nag champa and Jordans* Nevermind, don’t answer that.
@Saule Wright, as far as Rams hats being boring, blame it on the eh-eh eh-eh-eh-NFL. They’re more proprietary and controlling with their branding than MLB or NBA. Could you imagine St. Patrick’s Day Cowboys gear for instance? Or a blue Raiders hat? Never gonna happen.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
valid! very valid!
@Saule Wright, you used to be able to get fresh NFL hats, i think when they switched from new era to Reebok that went down the drain… and for the record i think the hat thing only refers to original colors/what the players wear on the field. I’ve had 2520′s come up to me like where did you get that hat in my favorite random color, and i wanted to say just go to your local hood spot, then i gave them some random website address
@Saule Wright, I don’t where very many hats any more but I will only fly my teams colors. It’s a personal man-law of mine.
@Saule Wright, yeah, that team loyalty sh*t is some white sh*t, gangsta. step your confusiousness up, ninja.
@Panama Jackson, lol, my confusiousness is on display when it comes to NFL jerseys. I rock legends, HOF or my team. Nothing less. Now, what to do with this McNabb Eagles jersey….
@Saule Wright,
Now, what to do with this McNabb Eagles jersey….
when you figure it out.. please let me know.
grrrr…..
i mean really?? REDSKINS??? and i’m hearing grumbings of TO being signed with them as well..
grr…
@Keisha
if hey sign TO….I will speed up my move OUT of the DMV area. No way do I want to be in this area.
@Saule Wright, you must be nuts. if they signed TO AND McNabb that would make for the greatest sports soap opera/reality show in history. there’d be random TO sightings through DC and he’d take shots at McNabb all the time while McNabb would pretend he didnt care while eating soup.
i bet McNabb would cry in the car.
@Saule Wright,
How crazy are the eagles?!?!! I mean, Kolb has 2 freaking games his throws over 300 yds, Vick (that’s my dude) is there but he hasn’t shown signs of old, and they are willing to trade way the all time leader in EVERY QB stat quarterback category for the team?!?! He’s made the playoff’s at least 5 times (over half) the time he’s been there, 1 super bowl (come on, that wasn’t his fault, Pinkston was dropping balls and pretended like the middle of the field was a landmine), etc.
Now he’s coming to the ur-reah; I will pray for thee McNabb…
Bond.
Smoke Menthols – Look, I don’t smoke…anymore…but when I did….it’s GOTTA be the menthols. Kools, Benson&Hedges, Newports, OR if I’m feeling particularly sophistifunky, Clove’s. Don’t judge me….ahem.
Walk like that: no explanation needed. It’s just like that fam.
Laugh so animated: Cause if what the comedian said was really funny, clapping just won’t do. Shout out to Comedy Central where you must laugh like golf spectators clap.
Play our music REALLY loud: I mean, honestly, If only I can hear it, you won’t realize how much MORE soulful and fly I am than you. It’s not personal…
We like bootay ….it’s in our DNA. Don’t judge us.
Did I mention Menthols? lol.
@Saule Wright,
I agree with this whole list!
Smoke Menthols – Look, I don’t smoke…anymore…but when I did…. .
Like Paul Mooney said in reply to “Why do Black people smoke menthol?”, Because that’s what’s in Newports. iDied when he said that.
Re: The Walk. You can’t deny it. Even Obama has a pimp stroll that I’ve seen him slip up and do a time or two. LOL
@V Renee,
I love to see Barack stroll up to the podium. Especially when he’s coming out to the rose garden–that ish will never get old to me!! LOL
@miss t-lee,
amen!! i soo have a crush on your prez.
especially when he starts his sentence off with look(pause)… (cuz you know in his head he’s saying..look dumbass..).
and him watching ball with Clark Kellogg during the Final Four. that SWAG…
*swoons…
@miss t-lee,
“I love to see Barack stroll up to the podium.”
ME TOO!!! I’ve been guilty of rewinding, JUST so I could see his stroll to the podium again. LOL
@ Keisha Brown,
Word? I totally missed that Final Four spot.
@V Renee,
LMAO at you screwing and chopping Barack’s podium stroll.
@miss t-lee,
yeah, it was during halftime of the msu/baylor game. he came back and won after a rough start. i’m sure Clark let the prez win. lol.
@miss t-lee,
yeah, it was during halftime of the msu/baylor game. he came back and won after a rough start. i’m sure Clark let the prez win. lol.
—————————————————–
@ Keisha Brown- now, I dunno about Clark letting Pres. Obama win. Mr. Obama has got a pret-ty nice lil’ jumper on him…
@Saule Wright,
“Play our music REALLY loud: I mean, honestly, If only I can hear it, you won’t realize how much MORE soulful and fly I am than you. It’s not personal…”
I think we may be loosing our claim to this one. I was at the car wash yesterday thinking “Damn, why do we (as black people) have to blast our music so damn loud.” To my surprise, I rounded the corner to see that Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade” was blasting from a Toyota Corolla being driven by a blonde 2520. She couldn’t have been more than 20 years old.
@Caballeroso (resident nudist),
um, Lemonade doesn’t qualify as music. We still got it.
@Saule Wright,
Greatest point ever
@Saule Wright, you smokin’ rocks. that beat is insane.
@Panama Jackson
the BEAT is only one aspect of the song.
@Saule Wright, i disagree. when it comes to Gucci Mane and something called a Wacka Flocka Flame, the beat is the only part of the song worth mentioning (and in “lemonade’s” case, the hook). therefore, ipso facto, de lorian, the beat makes it dope song.
no NWA track 8 on straight outta compton.
@Caballeroso (resident nudist),
i co-sign. i remember when if i heard reggae/dancehall (and not sean paul or kingston who don’t actually count)..i could count on being holla’d at (ay yo..psst..miss blue shirt! yuh look nice!..psst..ay yo daughta…). now? it’s everyone and anyone.
@Caballeroso (resident nudist),
I rounded the corner to see that Gucci Mane’s “Lemonade” was blasting from a Toyota Corolla being driven by a blonde 2520.
I swear they stay doing that! Those blonde 2520 girls with the music all up and booming… I usually shake my head while smiling… and I don’t know why.
You should hear Nirvana on 2 20inch subs…
@Saule Wright, Play our music REALLY loud: I mean, honestly, If only I can hear it, you won’t realize how much MORE soulful and fly I am than you. It’s not personal…
yeah, that’s true as hell. i’m grown and i still blast my music, whether its frank sinatra, T.I., or bob marley like i did this morning. nobody was waiting in vain this morning because everybody at the bus stop got to listen to bob marley.
@Panama Jackson,
“nobody was waiting in vain this morning because everybody at the bus stop got to listen to bob marley.” So dead with tears in my eyes!
@Panama Jackson, Waiting in vain by Bob is only meant to be blasted, and as loud as your cheap system will allow!!
I dont wanna I dont wanna I dont wanna I dont wanna wait in vain! No I, No I, No no no I, no I! Whew, let me go pull out my Bob Marley!!
I’m probably growner than you and I GOTS to play it loud! What the point if I dont? And I’m a little disappointed if I think nobody can hear it–all the more reason to blast it!
How can anybody NOT understand these things? (Hmmm, Imma have to get some Frank and play Him loud–that might work for me!!
@Saule Wright,
I’m gonna co-sign this one.
I keep my bop in timbs or cole haans. Benson & Hedges..wow, that’s what older women used to smoke when I was younger.
Bootay = yeaaaah (jeezy voice). I can’t front..when I see a fat one, seems like everything stops or slows down…but the a$$ (laughs). Matter of fact…(**gets up to see if my Rican co-workers are walking around..lol)
Bond.
@Saule Wright,
I think the cigarettes Black folks smoke that aren’t menthol are the red Pall Malls.
@Saule Wright, Is that why I even have my gospel music boomin’? And feel the need to roll the windows down, on Sunday morning as I drive thru the town blaring my J Moss/Byron Cage? Is that a black thang? Word!!
This is funny.
@Candice Dixson, i agree.
welcome and sh*t. lol.
” We’re a colorful group of colored people.”
*files under stuff to say to my co-workers that make them nervous *
@Jamaicangirl, aren’t those the best sentences ever?
“I just like my hat. It looks cool, b*tch.”
^^ i need this on a t-shirt stat.
working with 2520s… they never understood the ‘i just got my hair flat-ironed so i don’t have time to chat with you in the light sprinkle’ run to the car after work. i like my fros to be on purpose and not the unfortunate result of a lost battle with some punk arse rain.
black people put hot sauce on everything. chicken? duh. fries? why not. eggs? gross, but yeah, we do. popcorn? goooood. hot sauce makes everything taste like chicken. and we love chicken.
we will find any reason to have a bbq/cookout. like, any reason. cookouts are fun. we laugh, catch up on gossip, eat fattening things. cookouts are important because they successfully combine our love of loitering and putting hot sauce on everything. and all the men can rock their random baseball caps and give complicated daps to one another while waiting to put hot sauce on things.
i have more but i’m sleepy and my eyes hurt. so i’ll be back in the morrow. ..or the later on today. lol.
@Muze,
“black people put hot sauce on everything. chicken? duh. fries? why not. eggs? gross, but yeah, we do. popcorn? goooood. hot sauce makes everything taste like chicken. and we love chicken.”
I can’t stand hot sauce. My Black card has been threatened to be revoked for this statement a few times.
@Muze,
hot sauce makes everything taste like chicken. and we love chicken. .
This made me snicker. But we do love some hot sauce!! Hot sauce on eggs = bomb.com. Salsa too.
Now I’m getting hungry.
@V Renee, salsa on eggs is a good look
@Muze, “we will find any reason to have a bbq/cookout. ”
noticed this with Spanish folks…they find any reason to have a serious, alcohol filled party…can’t tell you how many kids b-day parties I’ve been to that ended with me being at least a little buzzed. Julio’s turning three? I’m there….and I have no kids.
@Muze, “we will find any reason to have a bbq/cookout. like, any reason. cookouts are fun. we laugh, catch up on gossip, eat fattening things. cookouts are important because they successfully combine our love of loitering and putting hot sauce on everything. and all the men can rock their random baseball caps and give complicated daps to one another while waiting to put hot sauce on things.”
And that describes my yesterday. I just had to smile and nod when my supervisor asked if I had plans for a big Easter dinner on Friday. Little did she know that “dinner” wouldn’t consist of spiral ham on a beautifully set table cloth, complete with linen tablecloths and napkins, but a backyard cookout (in the south, White people BBQ, Black people cookout).
Even though it was just family and we all looking fly. There were short sets (on the kids, and my one country grown-ass man child cousin) and sundresses all around! And my mama insisted on “fixing” the Hawaiian Punch by adding a couple packs of lemonade kool-aid and fruit juice and a splash of ginger ale. The air was filled with menthol cigarettes, grilled meat, and fried chicken and my new
sewn-in, yes I paid for ithairstyle was a hot topic of discussion, but I never once had to explain how it happened to grow exponentially since the last time I came home!@AtypicalLibrarian,
I’m from the south and I never heard black people use “cookout” until I lived in New York and DC. It was either BBQ, Crawfish Boil or “So and So’s” auntie is selling “Dinners”. *smiling…but serious*
@CNotes, Really? Maybe it’s just an NC thing. I love when “So and So’s” auntie is selling plates because So and So is Atypical Librarian and when I help my cousins and nem or whoever with the Fish Fry/Chicken Dinner I can usually get a free meal. Its not really worth all the effort when I can just give them the $6.50 and be out but that just doesn’t feel right.
@AtypicalLibrarian,
i heart your whole last paragraph. lol. twas my yesterday too, except replace the grown ass man cousin with uncle, and my aunt’s new weightloss and subsequent outfit as the talk of the night. lol
@Muze, Wait, you were at my aunt’s house yesterday? Was that you hogging the Texas Pete?
Aunt _______ was showing of the affects of her “appetite suppressant shots” and was feeling so good that she had the nerve to ask my size 14/16 cousin if her just got back into a 20 five minutes ago if she could borrow some shorts and a t-shirt because she was just so hot and uncomfortable in her sundress.
@Muze, ‘i just got my hair flat-ironed so i don’t have time to chat with you in the light sprinkle’ run to the car after work. i like my fros to be on purpose and not the unfortunate result of a lost battle with some punk arse rain.
this is the TRUTH!! i live in florida.. so, you can add “punk arse humidity” to that..
not only that, but it’ll rain here.. only long enough to fudge up the hairstyle (got me looking like tina turner) and then the sun will come out like “what dey do?!?!” to make it look like i have NO EXCUSE to be lookin the way i do with my soggy hair.. got me lookin crazy…
@Nick_L_Odeon,
omg i wouldn’t even bother trying to wear my hair straight in fla. all the times i’ve been there it has done that boolyish.
@Muze, this comment was approved by two turntables and a mic, one bad MC on the set.
@Muze, “working with 2520s… they never understood the ‘i just got my hair flat-ironed so i don’t have time to chat with you in the light sprinkle’ run to the car after work.”
I literally had a coworker try to file an official complaint because I didn’t stand out in the rain to hold the door for her slow ass. First off, don’t let me skin color fool you, I am not a door man. Secondly, your fat ass had just closed your car door and were nowhere near the building. Third, just STFU.
@sanen85,
me woo ( twi for i have died)
@Muze, SPEAK A WORD!!! TRUTH about hot sauce! My mother taught me well! She put it on EVERTHANG! Tabasco was in the house!
I am a VSS that grew up with Cross Colors, Karl Kani, SWV and TLC so sister’s wore baseball caps (even on top of the wrap/doobie). There was a time, sisters and brothers alike wore that Minnesota Twins cap. I had one and that red, white and blue joint with different colored panels was the bizness and could make your hip hop/new jack outfit. So yes, I know we buy caps for our teams, but I didn’t even know who the dayum twins were and I had that cap. Co-sign with Panama on that one. Back in the early 90′s they stuck with the official team colors more often, so to get a color to fit your outfit, you did get another team’s hat.
It was the joint with this logo: http://www.canadiandesignresource.ca/officialgallery/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/expos1.jpg
….on this cap: http://cdn3.ioffer.com/img/item/124/540/533/wdny.jpg
^And you curved the bill on your cap always. No duck bill hats. You could also be feminine as heck and rock your cap.
@legitimate_soul, did you hear that SWV is trying to make a new album?
can’t say i’m excited about this. at all. honestly, why were Taj and Lele even necessary?
@Panama Jackson,
I can’t even lie. I was excited. I like the other sisters. They harmonized in the back and gave Koko the “more people” so many other folks desperately need, lol!
@legitimate_soul,
Computer errors…you see me correct myself and say it was the Montreal Expos later. Again, proof we didn’t kow what the heyall team we were sportin’…
We dress our kids up for birthday parties.
I remember being a babysitter and having to pick the YT little girl up from her friend’s party and she came out on some busted shoes, cargo pants and the shirt i picked out for her to go to school….2 days before.
I almost fainted. And trust me, these ppl got dough.
When my little cousins are going to a birthday party, they get a fresh (read:clean) outfit and some cute bobos!!
@jana.love,
This is soooo funny but oh so true!
I’m a VSS that grew up with Cross Colors, Karl Kani, SWV, and TLC and guys and girls both wore baseball caps. Sister’s even wore it over their doobie/wraps. That said, I gotta co-sign with Panama on wearing team hats you ain’t knew jack sh*t about. There was a Montreal Expos hat that was very popular, especially for that era of hip hop. The logo, and the red, white, a blue panel hat would set of your outfit quite lovely. Team hats in colors outside of the team colors is a more recent phenomena.
This is the Expos logo: http://www.canadiandesignresource.ca/officialgallery/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/expos1.jpg
This is how the cap looked: http://cdn3.ioffer.com/img/item/124/540/533/wdny.jpg
Oh, and you always curved the bill of your cap around my parts. No hat brims looking like duck bills.
Apparently, 2520s don’t understand Blunts. I’ve had to explain what they were to a few people and I don’t even smoke like that.
@sanen85,
Yet, they’re the same ones that can make a bong out of a straw and empty 2 liter. Go figure. Lol
@V Renee, right… lol
Going to buy entire outfits of brand new sh*t to go out that night or the next day: Even though what we already have is perfectly serviceable, I guess we just don’t feel right not world premiering a kit.
Pulling off bright colors: Whites can’t do yellow, fire engine red, purple, etc. like we can. We get those…they get the murky earth tones.
Our women smoking Black & Milds: I don’t get our men smoking them, so who knows?
Leaning the car seat waaaaaaay back…when we’re only 5’4: Hey, we like pimp sh*t. Guess it’s also something about looking back at someone from behind the B-pillar.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame), yeah, i lean my seat waaaaaaay back. i just attributed that to being from the south since we’re so cool we can’t help but lean.
I don’t know if this is just an African thing, but black folk from where I come from will dance for no good reason EVERYWHERE: on the subway, in the grocery store, in church… and if there’s no music we’ll make our own (or dance to whatever song happens to be in our heads).
Black people where I come from also enjoy cursing people out/insulting people/threating to assault one another, for no other reason than they find it amusing. My parents used to call me a stegomire mosquito as a kid cos I was skinny… only they got that joke. Smh. And the number of times my mother has threatened to “woze my head” or fry my eyeballs and feed them to me? Straight up excessive.
@puff, I don’t know if this is just an African thing, but black folk from where I come from will dance for no good reason EVERYWHERE: on the subway, in the grocery store, in church… and if there’s no music we’ll make our own (or dance to whatever song happens to be in our heads).
Naw I don’t think it’s just an African thing. I’ve seen plenty of black folk, dance and ish, on the train making their own beats or being with my cousins and making beats in a store.
@puff,
I STAY dancing any and everywhere!
?? She’s a dance dance dance dance dancing machine watch her get down watch her get down. As she do, do, do do her thing ??
RIP Michael! We love you!! LOL
@V Renee,
*wops it out beside v renee
been doin this since 1994.
@Keisha Brown,
Get it girl! Lol
@puff, yeah, that dancing thing is universally colored.
hell im dancing right now. and there’s no music playing. i’m just dancing to the sound of myself typing. and my homey Raging Wolf from the navajo tribe just pulled out his moccasins and hit a shimmy for me.
c-walking started on a reservation, my ninja.
how.
@puff,
**I don’t know if this is just an African thing, but black folk from where I come from will dance for no good reason EVERYWHERE: on the subway, in the grocery store, in church… and if there’s no music we’ll make our own (or dance to whatever song happens to be in our heads).**
nope this is definitely a black thing. I have a girlfriend that would get out of the car and dance if her song happened to be on at a stop light when she was younger. shoot she still might.
@puff, My hubby is Nigerian and I’m African American and we live in an apartment complex with both! One day a loud ruckus arose from downstairs and I thought “fight!” Ran to my door just in time to hear laughter!! I learned about my Nigerian folks and now relax and smile when the loudness rises!! It’s just a black thang, add it to the mix of black thangs!! Yeah! We be like that GLOBALLY!!
T-shirts made to commemorate deaths : ( that are even sold at the funerals. . . RIP Leon. . . Said T-shirts are typically screen printed- and recently I have seen hoodies and other printable wear. . . God Bless. Ya- white people just don’t do that.
Urban setting/ in my opinion Ghetto Scene Photo Shoots- I venture to say limited amounts of youngins roll up weekend nights to the CVS parking lot just around the corner from HU Hospital to pose outside in front of a giant background with a Ciroc bottle or some old school car or whatever. . . $10- printout and you have a night full of memories. . . WHY????? White people definitely don’t do that.
LOL at the grease. . . true true- my roomie does that- we all use washclothes. . . my WHITE HAIR is curly and a mess- but it is not black hair. I feel for you . . . especially living with two black women. . .
The smoking- WELL YA’ll were targeted- a long time ago- its my specialty and I am trying to help people quit and get menthol banned.. . . . http://nwtose.com/2009/06/12/breaking-news-senate-votes-to-impose-regulation-on-tobacco/
White people will never understand men’s waves. . . but mmmh I love a man with some fine ass waves.
@#1Snowflake,
White people will never understand men’s waves. . . but mmmh I love a man with some fine ass waves .
Yup and to go along with that, they don’t understand do-rags.
@V Renee, No. . .and I will never understand why my buddy wore a do-rag and a silk scarf. . hmmm it seems that either-or would have been sufficient . . . but what the HElll do I know about black folks hair- this is a hoot though- one summer I did have my hair in braids- YES . . . I was a competitive swimmer and I had beads at the end and everything- it was a dream come true! It took 7 hours but it was GREAT!
PS- my boo Snoop really should re-think the sunglasses OVER the do-rag. . .. .
@#1Snowflake, Urban setting/ in my opinion Ghetto Scene Photo Shoots- I venture to say limited amounts of youngins roll up weekend nights to the CVS parking lot just around the corner from HU Hospital to pose outside in front of a giant background with a Ciroc bottle or some old school car or whatever. . . $10- printout and you have a night full of memories. . . WHY????? White people definitely don’t do that.
this is largely a DC thing though.
i see the snowflake is a hell of an observationist.
@Panama Jackson,
oh no no no… every Detroit person currently under the age of 23 has a group picture like this in front of some airbrushed Tupac&Biggie/Alcoholic beverage/Detroit skyline. and one ignant ninja is always doing the jail pic pose, bent down with his hand on his chin. why.
…snowflake is hilarious. and true. but the “mmmh I love a man with some fine ass waves.” tells me she maybe likes chocolate more than the average, so therefore pays more attention. i’mjussayin.
@Panama Jackson,
this is largely a DC thing though
they do this in ATL too
@Panama Jackson,
this is largely a DC thing though.
They do it in Charlotte, too. Just two weeks ago while celebrating a friend’s birthday I had to resist the urge and make my
old enough to know betterself sit down.@Panama Jackson, or. . . . I live around the corner from the CVS .. . . live with two black women. . . only date black men. . . tutored at Anacostia HS . . was homeless in DC for 6 months. . . stayed around 1st and P, SW, Chillum Road. . . not afraid to get into it. . . am totally and completely aware that I appear to look like “Becky social worker” at all times. . . especially when in Trinidad. . . LMAO on a DAILY basis . . but ps- I think I am going to have one of the photo’s for my Christmas cards next year- Season’s Greeting’s from your newly ALMOST gentrified HOOD. . . LOL!!!!
@#1Snowflake,
Urban setting/ in my opinion Ghetto Scene Photo Shoots- I venture to say limited amounts of youngins roll up weekend nights to the CVS parking lot just around the corner from HU Hospital to pose outside in front of a giant background with a Ciroc bottle or some old school car or whatever. . . $10- printout and you have a night full of memories. . . WHY????? White people definitely don’t do that.
Are you one of my FB friends? I swear this pictures just came up in my newsfeed like last week.
@Shay,
*these pictures
Freakin 10 seconds to edit a comment. *grumble*
@Shay, I mean these photos ALWAYS come up in my feeds. . . I have all these youngins that I attempt to stay up with . . . along with the most random junk. . . oh I know another one- BLACK men like to take a photo of themselves in the drivers seat of their car typically with shades on. . .
@#1Snowflake, Urban setting/ in my opinion Ghetto Scene Photo Shoots- I venture to say limited amounts of youngins roll up weekend nights to the CVS parking lot just around the corner from HU Hospital to pose outside in front of a giant background with a Ciroc bottle or some old school car or whatever. . . $10- printout and you have a night full of memories. . . WHY????? White people definitely don’t do that.
I am guilty of doing a picture just like this at the very same CVS when I was a freshman at Howard.
@Deeds, it’s too bad that this forum doesn’t allow a place to post said photo. . . I think the guy got a little a offended when I asked him the history of the business. . . I thought of some more goody’s, . . . wonder if I should make a new comment. . . like sometimes using the dishwasher as a drying rack- not using the kitchen sink to wash hands- always have tea on hand to drink- I mean I am a hoot! I wish people could get a sense of what I look like and where I am from. . . people don’t believe me. . . LOL!!!
1. Our love of Spades
2. Our street language…shoot! They change it so often, I barely get it.
@JumpOnIt, got to stay ahead of the game with the language though.
fashiggity? shaboopaloobie.
e-40, i hate you.
LMFAO!!! idk why but that “fashiggity” had me DYIN over here at my desk….I wish a ninja would come sayin that sh*t in real life tryina sound cool.
@Panama Jackson,
E-40 is the worst rapper of all-time. No one can convince me otherwise.
We always have to talk or state our opinion in the movie theatre, loudy. I went to see Why did I get Married, Too, with my friends over the weekend, and I believe we were those black people. You see, the movie was just ok, and I don’t think I would have enjoyed it that much if we weren’t there laughing and putting our funny commentary in at parts. Basically my friends made it much more enjoyable. Sorry to the rest of the folks.
@Deeds, that movie was horrible.. i got more enjoyment out of the previews (and clash of the titans) than the movie..
writing, acting, just bad…. i got in for free, and was upset..
@Nick_L_Odeon, now, it was horrible. however, was it standard tyler perry fare? his joints are generally horrible.
@Panama Jackson, you know.. i’ve only seen two other tyler perry movies.. and it was AFTER my mother saw it and screened it.. they remind me of those gospel plays that always star” shemar moore.. or clifton powell from ‘Amen’”
so all i can say is that my boy is a janet jackson FREAK, and she couldn’t even save the movie.. i think it was worse than anything i’ve seen in a few years.. it was like a train wreck, with fatalities.. “you should look away out of respect for the dead, but just can’t..”
it was bad.. really bad.. i can’t stress how bad.. i would’ve edited the screenplay for free.. and not asked for any credit.. THAT bad..
@Deeds,
But sometimes we make the movie better!
@legitimate_soul,
No.
*waving hey girl!!
You are a fool! LOL!
Black folks can curse! I mean I know some black folks who curse just because..its a part of their regular conversation. It really is a sport.
Black folks can eat! I mean I know other races eat and all that for sustenance and to live..but, Black people eat because there is food around. They are notoriously greedy….they could have just eaten and will eat again if offered.
Black folks love Jesus….from the pulpit to the street corner. Black folk will rep for Jesus in a heartbeat — rappers, entertainers, all when accepting awards immediately go to ” I thank my Lord and Savior”…doesn’t matter if they mean it or not…they are going to thank God…period. LOL
@QueenT,
your last paragraph is thetruth.com
@QueenT,
“Black folks can eat! I mean I know other races eat and all that for sustenance and to live..but, Black people eat because there is food around. They are notoriously greedy….they could have just eaten and will eat again if offered.”
This reminds of the face Black folks make waiting in line at the soul food joint. Ninjas are smiling and borerline drooling looking at the food through the window. And as always someone wants to order their food gourmet style or get real particular. e.g. Are those turkey wings good? Can I get a sample? How long did you cook them and what seasoning did you use? They don’t tast like my momma’s turkey wings.
@QueenT, yeah, i just want to thank little baby jesus for letting me let you comment actually.
my savior allows me to write posts.
its true.
thankyajeeefus.
Family Reunions.
Maybe it’s the impact that enslavement had on breaking up our families, but most Black families take their families seriously enough to round up the family every year or two and meet. It’s not a wedding, not a funeral, not a birthday party…just a Black family’s “tree” getting together just for the sake of getting together. I’ve never witnessed this amongst whites.
Generally, anyone who can make it (as the locale may change) is invited. This leads me to something else Black folks do (or don’t do) that whites may not understand. For the most part, we don’t disown our family. We may not phuck with certain individuals too much, but there is rarely a “disowning” so to say. This is why the drunk uncle who always wants to fight is still invited to the family reunion. Lil’ Montez who sells crack is also still welcome even though his auntee, who’s a ‘recovering’ crack addict, will be in attendance also. Even Yusef, who went off to college and married a white woman, is invited, along with Rebecca (his wife) and their mixed kids. Ol’ Becky may be ‘forced’ to feel intimidated by some of the side-eyes and sly remarks, but they’re invited nevertheless. On the other hand, Becky may have already been disowned by her family for marrying and reproducing with a negro.
@Monk,
LOL Your whole last paragrah totallly sounded like our Easter BBQ yesterday.
Gotta love family!
@Monk,
promise on everything i was going to say family reunions for these very reasons. lol. i’ve seen maybe 3 family reunions of 2520s in my entire life, and i grew up around them. but you can drive through belle isle in detroit on any given summer day and see the Johnsons in their purple t-shirts, the Howards in their green t-shirts and the Jenkins in their yellow.
@Muze,
You brought back memories with the Belle Isle reference. My moms didn’t wanna go there a few years ago so we went out to Kensington. Good times, but the Isle would’ve been better.
@Monk,
Co muthafing sign on the family reunion and not disowning!!!
I’ll even go so far and say that Black people take care of the elderly in their family. Before they even think of sending them to a home, they will try their hardest not to. Meanwhile, white people, they mama’s hit 60 and off to a home she goes. And not their home. A nursing home. Even though she only has arthritis. Lol
@Monk, yeah, you got this right on, right on.
sho nuff.
@Monk,
*nodding my head* mmhmm and shit. I was @ my cuz’s surprise birthday bbq (don’t judge us) and it was like mini family reunion time. I showed up w/ my nephew and got the 3rd degree about where my sisters where and why they weren’t in attendance. My older cousins were even asking me where my mama was and why she didn’t come (and they don’t even like her).
@Monk,
Cosign! My husband has been disowned by his family, but my family more than makes up for it by treating him as part of the family. Black folx believe in forgiveness!
okay, as usual i have something that has nothing to do with anything.
um, i’m feeling less than black this morning because i just happened to click the ‘related posts’ link about 10 songs every black person should know and i had absolutely no idea that Marcia Griffith made a song called Electric Boogie, let alone that i should celebrate and know it. i’m sure you know this means that i had no clue that this is where the electric slide came from. wow. this is disconcerting.
i mean, i know the dance of course, but i associate it with Stevie Wonder’s “My Eyes Don’t Cry” moreso than anything. hm. learn something new everyday.
…and now i’m going to go put something on my own blog for once. lol
@Muze,
oh wait! it relates. ha.
black people will break out into the Electric Slide at any given gathering that is not in a church. (except if your wedding reception is in the church basement, then we will.)
@Muze, ~ What you know about the Gospel Slide done by the senior set on Wednesday afternoons here at the local Methodist Church?
@Muze, I believe I’ve seen the electric slide broken out at a church too
@klysha, @Neighborhood Hussy
LOL wow i’ve seen church ‘dancing’ but a coordinated electric slide? gotta love it. lol
@Muze, you embarass me. you embarass yourself.
word to terrence howard.
@Panama Jackson,
hahahahaa. Crash. loves it.
“oh f*ck you…like you’d know. the closest you ever came to being black was watching the Cosby Show.”
@Muze,
* By law, the Electric Slide and/or a Soul Train Line must happen at any assemblage of Negroes, including at funerals.
* All multi-generational gatherings of Black folks must include 2 hours of hearing “Y’all don’t know real music, put on some (Teddy Pendergrass, Luther Vandross, Sam Cooke, etc.)”
** I am now loving hearing people in their 40s saying “Ludacris ain’t real hip-hop! What y’all know about Public Enemy?”
White folks will never understand why MOST black people are rhythmic. Think about it. When at least two of is get together, music is on. Might be the radio, might be CDs, might have been BET in the 80s (tear). We gonna jam and try out the newest dances. Hell, I’m in traction now because I tried the Leyomi Drop. No really.
Hot sauce on some Bojangles fries is the sh*t!
“Hell, I’m in traction now because I tried the Leyomi Drop. No really.”
@meka, girllllllll….I’ve watched those videos in slow motion and I STILL don’t know how they <a href="“>drop like that! Looks like their knee is about to just POP OUT! I even tried it on a soft couch. Utter failurishness!
@meka,
I feel so out of the loop because I have NO idea what a leyomi drop is.
@V Renee,
Right??!! And I pride myself on being on the up and up of embarassing dance crazes!! Hmmph. Need to research leyomi drop.
@V Renee,
it’s a guaranteed hospital stay that leyomi drop. I still am not trying it though, health care bill or no health care bill.
@meka,
I just watched the leyomi dropped video. WOWSER!!!! I had no idea. I’m still in amazement.
I’m still tryna figure out why black folks like to loiter with no apparent purpose. Two months after moving to Chicago, I took the green line to the westside, Lake and Laramie to be exact. I thought I was in a 3rd world country. Black folks standing around as far as the eye could see. Every person in my group of three was black and er’body was staring at us. But there was this little old white lady walking through like she belonged there and nobody looked at her twice.
I think the only thing that saved us was that we pretended to be Jehovah’s Witnesses (sorry).
@meka, I’m still tryna figure out why black folks like to loiter with no apparent purpose.
we’re of the sun. sun is outside. so we go there.
@Muze
black people will break out into the Electric Slide at any given gathering that is not in a church. (except if your wedding reception is in the church basement, then we will.)
Uh no. At Watchnight Service going into 2008, my friend and I went to Trinity. Rev. Wright called Common up to the pulpit and he started rapping. The whole ursher board and other random folks turned the area in front of the pulpit into a dance floor and we electric sliding, booty calling, clevelend shuffling for the Lord. It was one of the most hilarious things that I’ve ever seen.
@meka,
LOL i stand corrected. wow.
i remember one of the funniest WatchNights i went to was when i was like 12 or so and everyone was getting their boogie on to the praise music and Brother Soandso was dancing so hard he ripped his suit jacket down the back. my brother and i gasped and then dang near died laughing when Brother Soandso stopped, looked over his shoulder at the rip, and then went right back to dancing. lol
@meka, I remember hearing about Common being at Trinity after the fact. I was so disappointed that I missed that one.
Here is something that black folks as a whole don’t do that white folks don’t understand: Swim.
The notion that we don’t all have community pools and take lessons will drop the lower mandlble of a 2520 Usain Bolt fast. I took lessons in college to learn and it took my classmates about a week to understand why’s and how to’s of non-aquatic negroes.
I can probably come up with more…
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., Why are we afraid to swim? Our of fear of drowning? Vain hair bullsh*t? What?
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame), I don’t know but I don’t swim.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
I would just use some long standing slave induced answer but I honestly don’t know. I think a lot of it has to do with some odd fear of drowning. I remember seeing a movie called “Conrack” which was based on the SC coast and the fact that most of the black population were afraid of the water was brought up several times.
I didn’t learn until I was an adult because I was considering joining the military so I figured that just might be something I needed to know how to do. There weren’t any public pools where I’m from and taking a dip in the Savannah River wasn’t an option so I never learned as a child.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
Per a special I saw on tv one weekend, it’s because back in the day, the beaches and pools were whites only. They’d drain, clean, and refill a pool if one of us dipped so much as a toe in it. Because of the paranoia surrounding it, we stayed away.
There’s got to be other factors involved beyond that though. Back in the ‘Sip (Mississippi), my folx threw me in the creek and said get out the best way you can…a local tradition for swimming lessons.
@Caballeroso,
“Back in the ‘Sip (Mississippi), my folx threw me in the creek and said get out the best way you can…a local tradition for swimming lessons.”
Dayum.
Sink or swim literally huh? *giggling*
Shooo I took swimming lessons and I still don’t trust my abilities.
Go figure.
@Caballeroso,
my folx threw me in the creek and said get out the best way you can…a local tradition for swimming lessons
That’s the way it’s done where I am from… My people (read ancestors) are fishermen by trade… so the Sea is us and we are the sea. Lol! Yup, they used to throw in babies (babies!!) in the sea and have them navigate their way back… Le Sigh.
Not that brutal anymore, but you still gots to know how to swim. It’s par for the course.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
In my family, there was a tragedy of some children drowining, so no one swam. Then, in some communities they cut funding so no neighborhood pool and most inner city schools don’t have a pool. Then there is the hair issue. A bunch of reasons, but yeah I been grown in the beginners swim class too.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., i swim.. but maybe it’s because i’m jamaican.. and as my father once said, “you can’t be from someplace surrounded by water.. and not know how to swim..” i’m wondering if he was preparing for the 2nd Amistad.. and wanted to make sure when he tossed us overboard, he’d see us again..
he was always thinking like that..
#ohdaddy
Gal, I hail from the islands too. And I was so afraid of the water my swim instructor was sick of me. Here’s how they taught ppl to swim throw em in the deep blue and threaten SWIM OR DIE. Whoop I magically gained swimming skills.
See if that was at a white school you know the parent woulda called the senator, school boards, lobbied Obama though they hate him and get that man outlawed.
Black Carib parent was like “meh, well did you learn to swim or not?”
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
usain bolt fast and non-aquatic negroes have got to fit into my life’s vocabulary at some point today. i will make sure. lmbo.
this is such truth. i went on vaca in hawaii and got clowned for not wanting to do anything that required me to be submerged in water… on an island … where 70% of the activities involve said submergence. no. lol.
@Muze,
I’m still at a loss when it comes to non-aquatic negroes and the causes of this. Like Panama said, we do some odd sh*t.
PJack–I just want you to know I’m going be singing Juvenile all day thanks to this post…lmao.
@miss t-lee, that’s good to hear. lol. he could use some love nowadays.
White people can’t understand why we DO NOT put our children on leashes! Come se dice whooping!
Also, they do not understand why black women wrap our hair with a silk scarf. Funny, I was reading seventeen magazine and they had a how to on wrapping ones hair. That sh*t tickled me. Of course it was so off. Thats all.
@Tahirah,
“Come se dice whooping!”
I HATE you right now!!! I’ve got tears streaming down my face and I’m CHOKING to keep from laughing out loud!! YOUSE a FOOL!!! LMAO!!
bwwwahahahahahaha!!! I know that’s right!!!
@Tahirah, The first time I saw some kids on a leash I was just in shock, I mean just why.
@Tahirah, WAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! My roomie (a sistah) and I have this very discussion. . . . look, if I have to grab one more black kid from jumping in front of the Metro (maybe it’s not that dramatic. . but still. . . ) I am going to have a major heart attack- this is why the leash is GREAT! I mean it gives youngins the ability to wonder and then you can yank their ass back. . . I mean they make them more humane these days LOL LOL!!!!! I am still totally for the leash- and I am telling you if I get run down by one more stroller in DC- I might just thrown my foot in the wheel. . . (j/k)- I just need people to maintain their children- or I will- yessssss- I am not about to watch a kid plunge to their death (again I am overly dramatic LOL)
1. Rock baseball caps of random teams
Word. I don’t get this. Just because I have on a (insert pro team here) doesn’t mean I’m a fan. I just like the hat. There have been times I’ve bought a Yankee fitted because it is the closest to a Detroit when the Detroit fitted is sold out. Plus other teams look better with what you are wearing.
2. Loiter
I never see 2520s do this. We can be on the block standing by the curb or outside the club after it closes and talk ish for hrs.
3. Complicated Dap
2520s still don’t get this. Here in Detroit neighborhoods have their own dap. It’s funny when 2520s try it. I had a 2520 give me a hood dap and it was just awkward.
4. Wear suits with 8 buttons
” And also because a lot of us are just damn tacky. Steve Harvey, I’m looking at you. Oh, and Atlanta, Chicago, Mississippi, Detroit and pretty much the whole state of Florida, I’m ALSO looking at you.”
Hold up. The same people wearing those suits in Atlanta, Florida, and Missisippi are the same ones wearing them In Chicago and Detroit. They just moved north.
@Humble_One,
@#4, Co-mothafuckin-sign. It’s the same dude.
@RocktheCatbox, naw its not. look, i used to live in Detroit. i dont seent it with my own two eyes. its okay, people.
i dont judge
@Panama Jackson,
“naw its not. look, i used to live in Detroit. i dont seent it with my own two eyes. its okay, people.”
It’s same dude. You got two types.
Dude #1 – The Motown era and prior. More than likely his parents came to Detroit before the 1950s.
Dude #2 – This is the guy you are talking about. Came to Detroit in the late 60s to early 80s straight out of high school or a few years after and had kids as soon as he got here. He is usually partial to perms, neon green suits, and matching or coordinating. He usually puts the letter r in words where it doesn’t exist.
lol, very true fellas. White dudes always ask me “where is your Tigers hat?”…shit, it’s still at the store. I wear minor leagues, pro leagues, any team…well except the Tigers ( hate that damn D), but I’m from Detroit. The hat just matches my shoes.
@undressingHER,
“well except the Tigers ( hate that damn D), but I’m from Detroit. The hat just matches my shoes.”
1st time I heard this. The old english D hat is one of MLB top sellling caps.
@undressingHER, i’m with Humble_One, that “D” is priceless.
white women don’t understand how (many) black women don’t wash their hair every day, or even every other day. No, we don’t get oily like you do, and washing dries out our hair. I tried to do the wash-n-go, but I always looked a mess.
@Dee, YES YES YES!
I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to explain this to white girls
Like “look, chick…my hair is NOTHING like yours in texture, color, style, length so what the hell makes you think I would have to treat my hair the way you do”
Unique things black folk do….
1. Black women will “wrap” their at night. With a satin cap or scarf. Ain’t no such thing as sleeping on your hair.
2. Toothpicks. After a good meal we all need a toothpick, and the sharp ones, not those blunt ended kid-friendly ones neither! And if you’re really bold, you’ll eat the food off the toothpick. What? I meant to eat it the first time, it just didn’t quite make it.
3. T-shirts. I can understand the family reunion shirts with that BIG arse tree with every name on it dating back to 1897, but why do we make shirts in rememberance of dead folk? No funeral or obituary anymore? Maybe it’s the cheapest and quickest way to memorialize someone. *ivyette shrug*
@Ivyette,
” And if you’re really bold, you’ll eat the food off the toothpick. What? I meant to eat it the first time, it just didn’t quite make it. ”
Yuck. People actually do this?
“T-shirts. I can understand the family reunion shirts with that BIG arse tree with every name on it dating back to 1897, but why do we make shirts in rememberance of dead folk? No funeral or obituary anymore? Maybe it’s the cheapest and quickest way to memorialize someone. *ivyette shrug*”
This has to be something that was born in the 00′s. I don’t remember seeing this in the 90s or 80s.
@Humble_One,
“Yuck. People actually do this?”
Yep, but proper folks like you make them do it only in the privacy of their home.
“This has to be something that was born in the 00’s. I don’t remember seeing this in the 90s or 80s.”
Perfect time for all the “gone but not 4gotten” and “luv alwayz” messages appear with a young guy throwin’ up hand signs while holding wads of cash.
Within the last 3 years I started seeing shirts Big Mama and ‘nem on the front. smh
@Ivyette,
“Yep, but proper folks like you make them do it only in the privacy of their home. ”
LOL. Do they lick their fingers too? They shouldn’t let me stop them. LOL.
@Ivyette, Re: #1…if i forget, I will sleep on my face.
@Dee,
“Re: #1…if i forget, I will sleep on my face.”
Forget? Did you say forget? Noooooooo!
Try sleeping on your hand with your elbow at a 45 degree angle…lessen the chance of suffocating while trying to keep your do fresh.
@Ivyette, forget or just flat out lazy, same thing
my body just *knows* how to sleep when I don’t have a rag on…I wake up with my hair looking exactly like it was when I went to sleep.
@Ivyette,
**Try sleeping on your hand with your elbow at a 45 degree angle…lessen the chance of suffocating while trying to keep your do fresh.**
you almost made me holler at work!!! I do this ALL the time when I have a fresh curly do, because I don’t want to brush out the curls wrapping it and I don’t want a bonnet to smoosh them, so I prop my head up with my hand so the curls can breathe. Lol
@Dee, LOL!!! if i just “happen” to fall asleep, i will not sleep well that night.. flippin my hair back and forth in my sleep to make sure it doesn’t get ridges..
the sleep isn’t a good one, but i’m just too tired to get up and handle it..
it’s not a good look..
@Ivyette,
And if you’re really bold, you’ll eat the food off the toothpick. What? I meant to eat it the first time, it just didn’t quite make it. .
Okay I laughed waaaayyyyyy too hard at this. BWHAHAHAHAHA
@V Renee,
LOL….folks (as in my family) are straight up fools sometimes.
@Ivyette,
i’m ashamed to admit i actively ate my meals with a toothpick on hand for two weeks straight while waiting for my root canal appointment. any food drifting up that way had to be immediately removed. home or not, i didn’t even care.
i call it my ghetto phase. lol
@Muze,
You are excused. Those root canals are no joke. Plus, you have to get a crown, which = $$$$$
@Muze,
You are excused. Those root canals are no joke. Plus, you have to get a crown (aka expensive porcelain tooth that somebody invented to et more money). All of this = $$$$
@Ivyette,
Who knows about the cinnamon and mint toothpicks brothers just keep in they mouth…..yup
@legitimate_soul,
“Who knows about the cinnamon and mint toothpicks brothers just keep in they mouth…..yup”
Okay! They grab about 5 out of the dispenser at each restaurant they go to…and then store them in their car. lol
@Ivyette & legitimate_soul,
““Who knows about the cinnamon and mint toothpicks brothers just keep in they mouth…..yup”
Okay! They grab about 5 out of the dispenser at each restaurant they go to…and then store them in their car. lol”
You two must have seen me on the block.
@Humble_One
“You two must have seen me on the block.”
So that WAS you! I kept wondering, why is this man grabbing 10 toothpicks? Does he know you can actually buy them at the store?
P.S.=You almost broke the little plastic dispenser–turning that poor knob over and over and over again!
The wish vs hope factor…
Like Cedric said…white folk “hope” stuff don’t happen, black folk wish a muth*f*gg* WOULD!
White folk can’t cuss…I’m sorry callin me a “cootie queen” (y’all saw that commercial, lol) is just gon leave me lookin’ like O_o
Blessing the food…shoot for that matter we just pray differently lol.
@Smiley Face,
What the french toast?!
@miss t-lee & Smiley Face, Who you calling a cootie queen, you LINT LICKER?!?
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
Stinky McStinkface!!!!
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
LMAO!!!
@Smiley Face, White folk can’t cuss…I’m sorry callin me a “cootie queen” (y’all saw that commercial, lol) is just gon leave me lookin’ like O_o
that commercial is great though. i called somebody a lint licker the other day. it sounds so nasty so good. lol.
oh, and the black man head nod.
@Dee, word booty.
@Dee,
I was waiting on this.
Bond.
speaking of kids…white people will never understand black parents’ disciplinary practices. Just because theirs are allowed to tell their parents I HATE YOU and SHUT UP…I wish my black ass would have fixed my mouth to say some shit like that, and in public too??!! Sure we are, as a people, heavy handed with the belt (or shoe, or cord, or hanger) but black kids have an active crippling fear of their parents and it’s healthy.
White people will never understand that most of our women aren’t obsessed with being built like a 12 year old boy. Looking like a Jonas Brother at the age of 40 and thinking that shit is cute.
I dont think white people understand that [well, most] black people have eternal youth. White people are like supernova. They start out looking new and shiny till about 22 and fight a losing battle with male pattern baldness and crows feet the rest of their lives. Staci Dash and Joan Rivers are the same age.
@RocktheCatbox,
“speaking of kids…white people will never understand black parents’ disciplinary practices. Just because theirs are allowed to tell their parents I HATE YOU and SHUT UP…I wish my black ass would have fixed my mouth to say some shit like that, and in public too??!! Sure we are, as a people, heavy handed with the belt (or shoe, or cord, or hanger) but black kids have an active crippling fear of their parents and it’s healthy.”
amen!
@RocktheCatbox,
“Staci Dash and Joan Rivers are the same age.”
i don’t know whether to laugh or tell you to stop lying. this can’t be true, can it? are you joking? i don’t see any LOLs. i know staci is 40something, but i could’ve sworn that JR is at LEAST 60something. wow.
*reason 3416 why i’m glad i’m Black*
@Muze,
I was dead at ** Staci Dash and Joan Rivers are the same age.**
but I was revived long enough to learn thru IMBD that Joan is 77 while Stacey is 44.
However Melissa (JR’s daughter) is 2 yrs younger than Stacey. And you know Melissa looks almost as bad as her mom.
@OftenConfused,
lmbo. okay. whew. i knew i wasn’t that crazy.
i was just too lazy to google. lol.
and yes, melissa rivers looks a day away from 57 herself. wow.
@Muze, MELISSA Rivers is the same age, if not younger…wait, checking wikipedia…actually she’s YOUNGER than stacy.
@Muze,
LOL you know I was jokin!!
@RocktheCatbox,
“I dont think white people understand that [well, most] black people have eternal youth. White people are like supernova. They start out looking new and shiny till about 22 and fight a losing battle with male pattern baldness and crows feet the rest of their lives. Staci Dash and Joan Rivers are the same age.”
Cosign. When my aunt was in the hospital all the 2520 nurses couldn’t believe that she was over 80 years old.
@RocktheCatbox,
Staci Dash and Joan Rivers are the same age.
dead!
@RocktheCatbox,
Well said, chica!
Eternal youth: Black People
Can’t buy youth no matter how much money they have: White people in general.
When I was a little girl, people would mistake my grandmother for my mother, ok? My mother is now 61 years old and has not one wrinkle on her face. Black people are truly the most beautiful people on the planet.
@Dee
oh, and the black man head nod.
This Chinese lesbian gave me the black man head nod and the alwassup”. It scared the sh*t outta me.
@VRenee
I think Anike Love pit a link upthread. You must check out Luvvie’s blog post about Ricky Martin coming out of the closet. She embedded the most hilarious video of a bunch of gay dudes doing it. Otherwise check out youtube.
@meka,
I saw it last week and could not stop watching it!!
This is one of the funniest, most intelligently written articles about us that I’ve read in a long time! Keep doing your thing!
@Mocha Brown, thank you very much. my lord and savior jesus christ made it all possible.
welcome and sh*t, (i think)
@VRenee
They sure don’t!!!! And they don’t understand that it can’t be just ANY lotion.
Does this explain our fascination with cocoa butter?
1. Rock baseball caps of random teams
i might be the only negro (no consensus) left that doesn’t do this. i own 4 fitted hats and they all have a purpose:
1. Minnesota Twins: i’m from Minneapolis, I used to pretend Kirby Puckett was my father since my real one ain’t show up…this hat matches any & every thing, disagreement is futile
2. Kansas City Royals: it has my initials and i like me
3. Pittsburgh Pirates: how i wear para without actually wearing it. every alpha has one
4. Atlanta Braves: i copped it when i moved to Atlanta and wanted to blend in with the locals…shame on me for buying the one the team actually wears instead of some wild color…
@Carver The Great,
don’t forget Pittsburgh Steelers para too. every.single.alpha i know is a fan of the Steelers and/or owns a bunch of random Steelers stuff.
@Muze,
football is a whole different animal, i rock nothing but that vikings purple & gold, even if i have to look like a *cough* que to do it.
@Carver The Great, i have a Pirates hat too, but when i go to Atlanta or to homecoming, i dont wear the hat b/c of all of Morehouse’s alphas rocking that b/c of being the Alpha Rho (AP) chapter.
but i love it and hate the Phillies P hat.
@Panama Jackson,
haha, yeah rocking that hat there might lead to a few uncomfortable convos.
am i also the only black man who takes ALL the stickers off my fitted? i did that at the store and the foot locker clerk-chick looked at me like i was an alien while saying, “i’ve never seen anyone do that before.”
@Carver The Great,
“am i also the only black man who takes ALL the stickers off my fitted? i did that at the store and the foot locker clerk-chick looked at me like i was an alien while saying, “i’ve never seen anyone do that before.””
Nah you’re not the only one. I’ve been wearing fitteds since cats was putting rhinestones in them. I’m not going to start leaving the stickers on now.
maybe it’s not a Black thing, but I don’t even understand this:
Why do some (a vast majority) Black people look at you at the red light, or even when they’re passing you? I’m cracking up just writing this as when I come home to visit my brother and I like to count how many of our fellow Black men and women peep into the ride.
Oh! Another thing, why do I see so many dudes riding around with the driver’s seat da^n near pushed into the drunk? Is that a trend in the U.S. now? Just curious.
@The Tall One,
“Oh! Another thing, why do I see so many dudes riding around with the driver’s seat da^n near pushed into the drunk? Is that a trend in the U.S. now? Just curious.”
You meant trunk right?
This is new to you? This has been going on down here since I was a youngster, and probably way before that.
@The Tall One, Oh! Another thing, why do I see so many dudes riding around with the driver’s seat da^n near pushed into the drunk? Is that a trend in the U.S. now? Just curious.
some might call us country, but we’s only southern.
or from Cali.
@Panama Jackson,
Cali co-sign. Cause most folks from Cali are descendants from a long line of Southern folk. Hence the drawl.(Ice Cube has the drawl)
@legitimate_soul,
“Cause most folks from Cali are descendants from a long line of Southern folk. Hence the drawl.(Ice Cube has the drawl)”
Cosign. Other than the Northeast I think the majority of folks from the West Coast and Midwest descend from Southerners.
@Panama Jackson,
I’m from Virginia, so yeah, maybe it’s a Southern thing. (raises hands to the heavens)
Great post, by the way!
“Do you know what never gets cut off? Air. That sh*t is free right now and we like to use it.”
I just about fell off my office chair on wheels as it rolled back on the hardwood floor laughing at this one. good thing half the office isn’t here to to the non-stat but yet still a holiday for some today. (aka..VSB ALLLL DAY!!! It’s a celebration BITC*ES!! lol). And up here, we dont just post up and loiter..we cotch. (or maybe that’s just a west indian thing).
In fact, in Tdot, we made cotching a damn parade. The friday night before the Caribana parade, we somehow manage to shut down 4 major blocks of downtown streets. The Friday Night Yonge Street Flex. Mostly so that the Americans can drive up and down with their rented cars with fancy rims and other extraness (oh wait.. can i add that to the list of things black people do that white people don’t understand??) and the people too young or broke to go to clubs. It’s actually amusing because it’s an unofficial part to the weekend festivities.
I co-sign with everything everyone has written.
@Keisha Brown, YES!!!! cotch is a west indian thing.. we can cotch on chairs (where someone is currently sitting).. on beds.. dang near on anything.. YES!! love di word “cotch”..
especially when my mother says “bwoy.. mi kyaan get a cotch?”
classic…
@Nick_L_Odeon,
brrrrrrraps!! (holds 2 finger gun salute inna di air)
So my good people, what are some other things that Black people do that white people just don’t understand (that can be justified)?
1) Brush our hair when it is cut low. 2520s could not understand why brothas did it. I’ve heard numerous times “Why are you always brushing your hair? You don’t have any hair.” They don’t understand a brotha working on his waves.
2) Washing your hands after you go to the bathroom. I’ve some brothas not do it but the majority I’ve seen walk past the sink are 2520s.
3) Get to the club or leave the house to hang after 11:00PM. You start your drinking and everything between 7PM and 10PM. Why? So you save money on drinks when you get to the club. By the time you get to the club you are almost there so you don’t have to keep buying drinks. Plus who wants to be at a club when it’s 8:00 PM?
4) Wanting to stay warm in the winter time and fall. Yes blacks folks like to stay warm. We can’t get with the air conditioning, lack of clothes, and open windows in the middle of January.
@Humble_One,
Get to the club or leave the house to hang after 11:00PM. You start your drinking and everything between 7PM and 10PM .
I don’t show up until 1 am or later. An hour plus is all I need.
@Humble_One,
Wanting to stay warm in the winter time and fall. Yes blacks folks like to stay warm. We can’t get with the air conditioning, lack of clothes, and open windows in the middle of January.
CO FRIGGIN SIGN!!
Since the end of the world is nigh/global warming has equaled the warmest and snow-free winter EVERER..i saw white chicks in battyrida shorts and flip flops last week. it’s TRULY not that serious. it’s only 15 degrees. and if that’s what you pull out in APRIL what di rass are you gonna wear in AUGUST??? AND who is gonna be the first with sniffles and be coughin and sneezing all over di place when the SUNSETS and the temp drops to 2 degrees???? *kissteet
AND when my co-workers look at me crazy because I don’t equate double digits automatically with nice weather. if it starts with 2..then yes. but 10 is NOT nice. It’s nice for November and March, but not time to break out the freezies.
*all temperatures in Celcius.
@Keisha Brown, HAHAHAHHA loved this comment!! (Was kinda wondering about the temps though til I saw the comment at the end about being in Celcius lol)
I feel the same way! We’ve been having some semi decent weather in NY but folks is already rocking the sundresses and the flip flops and halters.. I’m like WTF! What’s the freakin hurry, you got all damn summer for that shizz why do it now when u never know how this weather’s gonna go. It start off nice in the afternoon and be freezin at night… Yeah I’d rather err on the side of caution until about May/June…
Besides, I aint even get my toes done yet lol
@BKSweetheart,
Besides, I aint even get my toes done yet
EXACTLY!!!
@Keisha Brown, also LMAO at “battyrida” shorts….
@Humble_One, Plus who wants to be at a club when it’s 8:00 PM?
where do you live that clubs open at 8pm??
@Panama Jackson,
“where do you live that clubs open at 8pm??”
I was an hour off. I should have said 9pm. It’s still too early to be at the club.
@Humble_One,
“2) Washing your hands after you go to the bathroom. I’ve some brothas not do it but the majority I’ve seen walk past the sink are 2520s.”
took this out of my keyboard man. i do not understand how you can handle your netherlands and not wash your hands afterward. this is why i side-eye buffets of any sort, because i’ve seen with my own eyes a lady blow up the bathroom and walk right out and head to the salad bar. ew. pair that with their affinity to touch shared food all willy nilly and i just can’t.
and you KNOW they put those “all employees MUST wash hands before leaving” signs up for 2520s. craziness.
@Humble_One, Ever since college my friends will sometimes have that to-go bottle on the way to the club so we can already feel the buzz before hand and it won’t wear off.
Loved this post, will be giggling all day
…unless I hafta cuss somebody out for tryna touch my hair. This will be my first ‘fro day in the new office…y’all pray
@Andrea Morgan,
yay for froness!
that’s all. and yes, they WILL try to touch. it’s some kind of 2520 rule to be boundary breaking when it comes to natural black hair.
@Andrea Morgan, giggle away then, Giggles.
A few more
5. Practice their Holy Ghost Moves the night before church.
6. Have a 8 year old child that can’t spell his name but can do the Soldier Boy (In English and Spanish).
7. Have weekly car notes.
8.Call in sick for work… and then show up to come pick up your check.
9. Go to the funeral just for the food. (with tupperware in hand)
10. Have Bootleg copies of every T.D Jakes Sermon.
11. Won’t see any film unless Madea stars in it or is affiliated with it some kind of way.
12. Have their 6 year old daughter walking around with a full Lace Front Weave
13. Instead of a Nursing Home, they got Big Mama in a hospital bed in the middle of the living room.
12. Have kids who’s first words are “Mama at the club”.
13, Send their kids to school with Rollers in their hair.
14. Have a dog for 5 years who wouldn’t know the inside of their house from a can of paint.
15. Feed their pets soul food.
16. Consider Macaroni & Cheese to be vegetable.
@Brettandthecity, 6. Have a 8 year old child that can’t spell his name but can do the Soldier Boy (In English and Spanish).
this is hilarious.
@Panama Jackson,
Thanks Man, I’m so glad you liked that one. Most def. swing over to my column BrettandtheCity when you get a chance. You guys always inspire me to do my thang…
@Brettandthecity,
okay. i need resuscitation. 6, 7, 10, and 14 just killed me.
“have weekly car notes.”
ican’t. i have at least 3 friends whom pay biweekly car notes because of credit issues… which white folks also don’t understand. gosh. hilarious.
@Muze,
There is a such thing as biweekly car notes? They probably have them paying a BMW note on a Chevrolet. I bet the interest is like 30%.
@Humble_One,
” There is a such thing as biweekly car notes?”
Normally it’s when you buy a car at one of them “buy here, pay here” or ” your job is your credit” type jumps.
Hey…whatever’s clever.
@Humble_One,
YES. exactly what miss t-lee said.
i know a woman right now who is paying $145 every two weeks on a 95 Grand Prix. it’s just not right. and if she misses a payment, the car won’t start. lmbo.
i’m sorry. it’s not funny. but it is.
@Muze ,
“i know a woman right now who is paying $145 every two weeks on a 95 Grand Prix. it’s just not right. and if she misses a payment, the car won’t start. lmbo. ”
DAYUM!!!! She is gettin’ took for real.
Shame.
@Muze,
“i know a woman right now who is paying $145 every two weeks on a 95 Grand Prix. it’s just not right. and if she misses a payment, the car won’t start. lmbo”
gtfoh. $300 a month for a 15 year old car? wtf? And they got a lojack on it? Can you imagine going about your business and your car won’t start because you are a day late? Please don’t tell me she is doing this for 60 months.
@Brettandthecity,
I am crying at your list. Especially, actually eff it, all of them. But this is when the tears started streaming: 14. Have a dog for 5 years who wouldn’t know the inside of their house from a can of paint. .
@V Renee, LOL I’m so glad you guys liked the list. I only wish I would’ve started it on my blog.. hahaha
@Brettandthecity,
7. Have weekly car notes.
you did not say weekly car notes
flatlined _____________________________
@Brettandthecity,
Man! You on to something!
I guess what bothers me most of all is how we still do a lot of ridiculous sh*t!
Consider these:
Old Azz brothers over 40 with Braids!
Old Azz brothers over 40 that sag!
Old Azz brothers over 40 wearing sneakers All the damn time!
Old loud ass colors on your suits: Pink suits, lime green suits, Purple suits with now & later gators to match!
$5000 rims on a $2000 car! Damn! The car’s still only worth $2000
You still eating that BS from McDonalds from the drive thru, then you riding down the road, fartin and belchin, then you roll the window down and toss the trash on the street in yo damn neighborhood. DAMN!
Trying to holla at Ms. Young thang, with yo old tired ass! Even though you know you behind on Bebe’s child support! Man don’t get me started I can tell you some ridiculous stuff! Peace
Why white folks don’t wash their meats before they cook it?
And you want to eat out today. lol
@#1Snowflake,
Urban setting/ in my opinion Ghetto Scene Photo Shoots- I venture to say limited amounts of youngins roll up weekend nights to the CVS parking lot just around the corner from HU Hospital to pose outside in front of a giant background with a Ciroc bottle or some old school car or whatever. . . $10- printout and you have a night full of memories. . . WHY????? White people definitely don’t do that.
Are you one of my FB friends? I swear these pictures just came up in my newsfeed like last week.
Tell funny stories and entertainment gossip on lunch break.
God’s other children use lunch as another business meeting/home improvement show talking about the virtues of zoiza grass vs sod or drawing up plans on napkins for their house bump-out.
So, when we’re cracking up over what Sheryl Underwood said on Tom Joyner that morning, or just laughing period, God’s other children just look at us in awe like a kid sitting at the big kids table. You know I’m telling the truth!
Y’all are really trying to kill me with this post, huh?
I know my boss in the next cube either must think I’m holding back sobs, having a fit, or suddenly came down with a terrible breathing condition.
so i dont know if this is a west african thing, but i thing i’ve always noticed is that we turn funnerals into parties. after everybody cries and you get the old lady that nobody knows who probably invited herself makes a scene, and cries crocodile tears, suddenly a dj appears and every male is drinking guiness and all the women are eating and dancing ( simultaneously), and the african drummers come out, and the booty dance ensues.
@michaboa,
YES!!!!!!!!! You can’t forget the game of Spades either.
@V Renee, chuuuuch
@michaboa, and forgive me for the typos. why is it that i can only see grammatical mistakes after i post a comment?
@michaboa, that old lady that nobody knows. I honestly thought it was just an African thing till I witnessed it here. She cried louder than the family of the deceased. No one knew her. O she also stopped with the crying once the alcohol and food appeared.
Crossing the street when there’s someone with a big azz dog walking our way. No, we DON’T want to pet Kudjoe, because he looks like he can take down a horse. LOL
Related to this is the fact that Black people get dogs for protection, and white people get dogs to be part of the family.
@Anger Management,
That’s why we got a German Shepherd named King in our back yard rat’ nah
@I’llgiveitatry, Apparently, naming your German Shepherd “King” is a black thing too, because that’s the exact dog and dog’s name my mother had growing up.
This is off topic, but I’m bout to try to make it related, cause I just can’t believe it:
Black folks understand to shut up, fall back, and some things you just can’t “go in on”. Example: WTF is Tiger Woods Kindergarten teacher doing in a press conference with Gloria Allred for? Why they put the man’s kindergarten picture up to tell him how disappointed she is? Why Gloria Allred take it there? Some stuff is just too savage and too far.
@Cnotes
I’ve got everybody looking at that video. And of course, dude in the purple is my favorite. Lol!
I’ll just blame Luvvie for my hurt body.
@meka,
Ditto for me! If the dude in the purple can vogue and drop…then, so can I. *nervously laughing*
@Deeds
@meka, I remember hearing about being at Trinity after the fact. I was so disappointed that I missed that one.
Yeah, Deeds you missed it. Church was absolutely hilarious that night. We got our praise AND our party on.
We also got a preview of the coming Rev. Wright controversy.
My white friends ask my all the time, “why do black guys keep the sticker on the fitted hats?” I’m like Jack, it is very easy. As the Champ so eloquently explained, we love random hats from random sport franchises. With that said, we keep the sticker with the size on it so you know what to get me for my bday or Christmas.
Not knowing the real names of family members. Every since I can remember, my grandma’s brother has just been “Uncle Deuceaboy” and my cousin name has just been “Mookie”. I didn’t even know one of my family members real name till I saw it on the front of his obituary.
Taking a shower before we go anywhere. i have seen many a 2520′s roll out the bed before class, swig some Listerine and walk out the door w/o taking a shower, much less “washing up”, still smelling like yesterday, bong water and patchouli.
The importance of going to church on major holidays (Easter, Chrimmus, NewYears). If we don’t go to church any other time of the year, best believe the parking lot will be on swole @ New Faith Christ Bible Believers Missionary Primitive Family Worship Center A.M.E. Church on Easter Sunday, complete with rainbow colored outfits.
The difference between school clothes and “play” clothes.
@I’llgiveitatry,
Lol @ **Not knowing the real names of family members**
**Taking a shower before we go anywhere.** I’m amazed at how 2520s can do this especially in the summer time in the south
**The importance of going to church on major holidays (Easter, Chrimmus, NewYears**
I don’t do this I let the CMEs (Christmas, mothers day and Easter folk) have it
@I’llgiveitatry,
Funny you mention the names thing, considering that barely a week ago me, my brother, and my mom spent an hour trying to figure out what my lil cousin’s name actually is.
@I’llgiveitatry,
The difference between school clothes and “play” clothes
CHUCH!!!!!!!!!
I would have to say talk loudly. I’m still on the fence about this because it seems once a group of 3 or more gather the volume starts to go up.
2520 mistake volume for violence. In their world, that makes sense. When a 2520 starts talkin reckless you look to see what’s goin on and what might pop off. When black folks are talkin loud you wonder what/who they are talkin about but you don’t think about any immediate danger.
One more, our flight w/o question. You see some black folks running in a panic, you start to backpedal yourself, because there’s obviously a reason they running. No need to even wonder what’s goin on
@Stank-0,
Also our ability to have a serious conversation without another black person whom you don’t even know. This most recently happened on the bus on Friday. We just talkin like we familiar. Some 2520 asked how didyou know each other. My response (after lookin at her like she was crazy): I didn’t know them. We just talkin.
@Stank-0,
Sooooo true! Your post is truth. Volume does not mean violence or anger. Also, I been at events when folks would just start running for no reason to get black folks to run.
People covered alot. just a few:
1. Supersticious–I got a little excited when my hand started itching and my 2520 friends were freaked out. Cheeze on the way fool!
2. tonal conversation–Depending on how I say it…calling you a muthaf&cka is good or bad depends on how I use it.
3. talk in 3rd and 4th person–watching two classmates play spades, the team that made the other team go back on their books started referring to themselves in 4th person with jeers like, “those boys bad!!”, “them boys handing out a** whoopings!” when one 2520 classmate whispered, “what boys are he talking about?” iCried laughing…the vodka didn’t help.
that’s what I got..
Bond.
@BlkBond,
1. Supersticious–I got a little excited when my hand started itching and my 2520 friends were freaked out. Cheeze on the way fool!
–Indeed. And black folks love looking up numbers in the dream book to play for lotto. I can’t tell you how many times my grandmama was like “Look up spiders in the book, then go play it $1 box”.
2. tonal conversation–Depending on how I say it…calling you a muthaf&cka is good or bad depends on how I use it.
—might I add using the word b*tch to that as well. Only Black females can let it slide off our tongues as a term of endearment/insult/ call to fisticuffs with a mere change of vocal inflection.
3. talk in 3rd and 4th person–watching two classmates play spades, the team that made the other team go back on their books started referring to themselves in 4th person with jeers like, “those boys bad!!”, “them boys handing out a** whoopings!” when one 2520 classmate whispered, “what boys are he talking about?” iCried laughing…the vodka didn’t help.
— Bwahahhaa
@I’llgiveitatry, no. 3 is hilarious but true
@Cnotes
I have my gay friend and his Tranny Troop on the case. I might have an instructional video by the end of the week. I’ll let you know.
@meka,
LOL! Cool.
This is off topic, but I’m bout to try to make it related, cause I just can’t believe it:
Black folks understand to shut up, fall back, and some things you just can’t “go in on”. Example: WTF is Tiger Woods Kindergarten teacher doing in a press conference with Gloria Allred for? Why they put the man’s kindergarten picture up to tell him how disappointed she is? Why Gloria Allred take it there? Some stuff is just too savage and too far.
@legitimate_soul,
PREACH.
You are better than me because I couldn’t begin to explain why white people do some of the stuff they do.
I can explain wearing one pair of shoes til they fall apart tho. My favorite shoes are my brown slip on clarks. I wear those shoes as often as I can because they are comfortable. The more I wear them the more comfortable they become.
But yeah, I can’t explain hardly anything else.
Us: Macaroni and cheese is a SIDE DISH
Them: Macaroni and cheese is a MEAL by itself
And we always have to lotion up, 2520s will never understand the concept of ashy.
Giving shout outs on TV, radio and any public platform we can find.
This what makes my mad at the Family BBQ! You got some relatives come to the Q, fix them a plate, put it in the CAR, then get back in line like they ain’t ate a DAMN THING! Or! When the picnics half over they bustin out 30 gallon trash bags from the car, trying to load up on some sh”t , and aint brought a damn thang!
White folk go to a concert. T- shirt and jeans!
Why we got to dress down for a concert and try to get front row seats and the first thing they do is turn the damn lights off?
White folks like to lay out in the sun and have a yard full of trees.
Black folks would rather be in the shade and have a yard with one tree!
I never post on VSB but I can no longer be silenced!
My only contribution (right now) is preach (church, tabernacle, mosque, temple…) To everything being said.
I think that’s another contribution: black folk always wanna testify and throw their two cents in the mix. A conversation about Shaquan’s hypothetical situation becomes a damn town hall meeting. Everybody gets consulted. And don’t let the next person agree, cause the conversation starts all over again. “SEE, that’s what I said! I TOLD you!”
On another note: ever notice how yt ppl always specify when they party, its either a “party” (almost exclusively drinking or just socializing) or a “dance party” (which means someone turned on the radio and 1-2 people broke out their latest dance moves. This is how you know the party was really popping).
Whereas we already know that party implies all of these things and then some.
#2 Our Mexican brothas and sistahs got us on the loitering…(at least up in Langley Park, MD). I drive through there when the Northeast capital beltway is backed up, and them mofos be out there CHILLIN’ – and not just day laborers, either!
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I’m not sure if this mentioned but I don’t think white people understand the true lengths a black woman will go through to do her hair and make sure it looks like that everyday regardless of the day. From the head wrap to the wash and set no matter how many times they could watch me do my hair or ask me why I put up with the struggle they still don’t get it The movie Good Hair didn’t really help white people understand the struggle either. Oh well, guess they’ll just never get it.
The Sandal with socks, I don’t think I have seen a white guy who is not ashame, as a matter of fact I think they are PROUD to show their toes.haha, This must be a culture thing I keep socks on with my mandals not because of the perverbial “Hamma time” but because at the end of the day wearing sandals without socks, my feet are dusty and feel god awfully dirty, Women show their feet because it is sexy and to me there is nothing more sexy than a woman with pretty toes. KUDOS!! But I have yet to see a woman look and say…wow girl he got some sexy toes…ugh!! When I see a brotha without socks on and he got sandals I think “he is brave”…hahah especially when he works construction and got bunion the size of corn muffins…ewwww.
color coordinate- a white guy once asked me, why do you always have to have your shoes and clothes all match the same color, I told him “I dont” but it’s a black thang you wouldn’t understand it. Also you gotta have the LV (louis vuitton) belt with the shoes to match..haha I suddenly found myself saying..” am I unconsciously pre-disposed to doing this” NOPE!!But I can’t explain why we do it,
Black people have two voices, sometimes three. I’m half Black and half Mexican, so I have like, 3 or 4 voices.
White people have one voice, and then maybe a variation when they are intoxicated.
Dear White People,
We have several voices because if we interview for a job or answer the phone at work the same way we talk to our Moms, we would not get hired, and would def get fired. I’m not upset if you remark on this fact.
Case in point: I answered my mother’s call in front of some white friends (I’m in Grad school, so lots of new white friends). I spoke first to my moms, then to my Grammy (this is the black side of the family). After I hung up, my white friend to my right commented “You got so black right there.” And I was actually kind of proud of myself because being a student and living in SoCal hasn’t exposed me to many other black people so it’s nice to know I still go it. I explained that my Grammy doesn’t even understand me if I don’t talk like that. Seriously. She will make me repeat everything if I speak slowly and without rhythm.
My moms is a little different, she has different voices too since she’s a cashier at a suburban grocery store.
I also have a kind of Mexicana voice, and then I have classroom participation voice, and TA in the classroom voice, and job interview/telephone voice.
So, yeah. Black people are socially multilingual. It’s okay white people, if you listen hard enough, you’ll realize it’s English. Except when I’m speaking Spanish. You’ll just have to put up with that. But if it’s any consolation, I’m no where near fluent, I just sound like I am.
Sincerely,
Sechavar
There you go with your multi-voices.
I’m happy enough with my one-voice.
I’m mixed, (Anglo-Latino), and I speak to everyone the same.
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Believe that they are that much different from whites or any other race.
Seriously. You guys should try living with a few (not just one) white families for a bout a year or something. Maybe change up every week er somethin. Just I wouldn’t recommend my house because I have a brother who bathes in Axe cologne and I wouldn’t wish to subject anyone to such a stench.
Going by what you see on tv is just not a good idea. I am going down through the posts and I’ve heard many claims that Black people this and that thing and white people don’t. You might be surprised by how wrong you are.
I hate it when I meet up with “class”-conscious black people, these are
people that want to put you down if you’re poor, or, the other way around,
they’ll despise you if they think you’re rich.
Having lived in Florida (and other places) for a while, I noticed that I kept
being ‘mistaken’ for well off, and rich, because I’m white.
Truth is that I spent lots of years being broke and unemployed there,
but blacks will automatically assume that if you’re white-looking then
you’re well off, and then they’ll treat you like you’re bad and evil.
I am not a ‘class’; I am a personality and I’m a person that has had both
very unfortunate times and some occasional well-off times.
Also, moved back to California, and
had this weird experience once where I was sitting at a bus stop
(waiting on the bus), and this black lady sitting near me kept looking
at my shoes. And my shoes being quite worn, and slightly worn out,
she made the assumption that I was homeless based on the condition
of the shoes and jeans I was wearing. So she started yakking on her cell-phone and insulting me, saying, “Yo, I’m sitting next to a homeless man”.
But the truth is that I wasn’t homeless; I’m just not obsessed with clothes and shoes, and I don’t go out and buy new stuff to wear all the time.
She continued to act like all stuck-up, and further said, “I live up on the hill, where do you live? ” I did not reply.
I lived in the same city where she lived which was Rolling Hills Estates, where I was staying with a friend.
Like, what’s the big deal? Why are blacks so obsessed with shoes?
Why can’t I just be acknowledged to be me?
Stop looking down to see what kind of shoes I’m wearing… That’s really tacky.
It’s basically a lose-lose situation, they’ll hate you if they think you’re rich and they’ll hate you if they think you’re poor.
Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. Some well-off people can be really mean.