Little Scrappy?
A vast many of you don’t watch Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta (LHHATL). Congratulations. Consider yourself either lucky or oblivious. It’s one or the other. I, myself, have only seen two full episodes: the first one (I wrote a recap) and this past Monday’s episode. Rest easy, this will not be a recap of a show that apparently nobody here watches or that everybody here is above.
Naw, in one particular scene, Lil Scrappy recounts the story of how he and his baby mama recently “fell out”. Scrappy Doo apparently suffers from asthma and occasionally has asthma attacks. To quote his “girlfriend” Erica, “you have asthma so you have asthma attacks.” A true flair for simplicity, that one has.
Anyway, Scrap apparently had a really bad asthma attack. One so bad that he ended up in the hospital for a few days (!). Now, I’m no expert on the condition though my sister and nephew have terrible asthma, but they don’t always end up in the hospital. That usually is reserved for truly bad attacks. So Scrap-dutty had a bad asthma attack and his baby mama, who he was living with and who was physically with him when it happened…bounced before he got to hospital. Rather, she had one of his boys take him to the hospital so that she could go to work. This (of course) was enough to make Scrapdoogetydog feel like she didn’t have his back and thus move out and leave.
Erica, obviously not understanding how men operate, really didn’t seem to get it at all. To her the ninja has asthma. Asthma attacks happen. She made sure that somebody was there with him. What’s the big deal. Scrap felt like she should have stayed with him instead of going to work. Shenanigans ensue. The end.
This reminds me of Love & Basketball where Quincy took a step back from Monica (same thing Scrappy is doing) because “she forgot to be there” when he needed her most. She prioritized something else (her curfew so that she could start the next game) over him and he took that extremely hard. So much so that he took another chick to Burger King. In college, that’s big. I don’t care what anybody says.
“You forgot to be there….”
Amazing how significant that is to us men. I’ll chalk some of this up to pure selfishness and ego. We expect loyalty out of our women even if our concept of loyalty is shaky at best. Part of this is just how it goes. Women tend to devote themselves to us so when you notice that your woman has effectively placed other stuff above you, well, you notice. And it’s a clear indicator in our mind that we’re not as important as we think/thought we are/were. That’s a very sobering thing for a man.
Plus it doesn’t help that women seem to have this uncanny knack for pulling that when we need y’all most. Kind of ironic, if you think about it, most men will be there (at least I think so) if you need us, we just drop the ball when you don’t but would like us to do better. But for us, the entire concept of being there emotionally (Quincy) or physically (taking the ninja to the hospital) means everything.
In my mind, Monica absolutly should have stayed there with Quincy as long as he needed her. She was his rock, the person he could trust and rely on for everything. At the moment she left, she showed him that he couldn’t count on her at all times. Same thing with Scrappy…his girl bounced on him when the ninja (in his mind and heart) was going through it. Was he going to die? Probably not. But if you’re an asthmatic and you’re going through an episode I imagine that the inability to breath would absolutely make you feel that way. But you know what? This ninja needed some assistance and stat and the one person he felt should be there for him said “naw ninja, I need to go to work, Mook Mook will make sure you don’t die.”
I’d kick her to the curb to. She doesn’t care and proved that she still didn’t get it anyway. She forgot to be there and she just lost one (not that she cares, if you watch the show you don’t get the impression that she truly wanted to be there anyway…well, not all the time).
Maybe women deal with disappointment so much from us that they lose expectations anyway of us being there. But women so rarely disappoint us (does this make up for Monday?) that when you all do, we take it extra hard.
Point is, ladies…if your man is in the bed next to you AND CAN’T BREATHE…take him to the hospital yourself, mmkay pumpkin? Not doing so would be the one area where you, as his woman, are totally f*cked up.
So what do you think? Should she have taken him to the hospital herself or is her job to make sure its taken care of? What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death? Fellas…can you feel me??
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. DON’T EVER PUT YOUR PAWS ON ME aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
I don’t watch Love and Hip-Hop and I have Comcast. I was on Twitter clowning the fans with DirecTV.
Speaking of…do you have Viacom back yet?
Lol!
hope you fall into a dinner party.
DECEASED
I’m not a fan but I do have DirecTV, and I’m glad that Viacom channels are off the air. I’m subjected to less ignorance and stupid television, even though I don’t watch MTV or VH1. The quality of those two channels hasn’t been s**t since the mid to late 90′s, and this show follows the trend.
I do say a word for Comedy Central before I go to bed every night. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert keep it all the way intellectually gangsta
i can do you one better than that.
i still dont even have cable. f*ck DirectTV…i cant even get Comcast yet.
Aye you got the facts all wrong. Scrappy BEEN moved out the crib that Erica lives in, and proceeded to rub up on some other broad’s legs and stuff (see: Buckey) even though they were still together. I was wondering why Erica was even over at his new crib cuz that’s where scrap was at when he was whining to his mama and telling her the story.
So uh. Back up off Erica. While she may think they’re still together and just living in diff homes, Scrap hasn’t even told her the business yet and obviously is looking for reasons to cut her loose instead of being a man and just deading the situation up front.
+1
I understand where PJ’s coming from, but it’s not like Scrappy was a Grade-A Guy anyway. This is the same dude that’s live and in living color playing and leading on his “baby mama” on national TV. Honestly, that ninja (and his melodramatic mama) was looking for a seemingly legitimate way out so he can be with the 50 lbs. of weave that consumes Shay Buckey Johnson while making Erica feel like she did something wrong, and he got it when his airways decided to pinch together.
wait…that’s Buckey? she dont put on some weight huh?
i mean i thought she lookeded familiar. (remember, I haven’t seen an episode since the first one)
“While she may think they’re still together and just living in diff homes, Scrap hasn’t even told her the business yet and obviously is looking for reasons to cut her loose instead of being a man and just deading the situation up front.”
That’s exactly what it was! He was looking for anything that he could use as ammunition to pull that trigger. Such a coward. Been there, done that. I’m so appalled. .
Girl,,, tell em!!!. These men need to stop with all that she wasn’t there for him that’s why he did XYZ… scrappy was already dealing with the next chick but wasn’T man enough to well just MAN UP!!!
hey…dont you tell us to man up. it matters.
we’ve acknowledged that men aint perfect. its a running diatribe. men suck and women are crazy.
given those facts – hey, they are facts – that doesnt change the premise. i used lil scrappy b/c i saw it on the show. remove them two from the situation and she STILL left hte nigga while he was damn near asphyxyating. or however you spell it.
No, men suck and women are justifiably angry, upset, or disappointed. When a guy does something foul… his woman is not crazy for being upset over that. Stop the maddness, PJ. Stop gaslighting.
i’m fairly certain that in this situation, there’s a lot of gaslighting on the part of the women involved as well.
there’s a lot of retribution involved in the majority fo the responses, which honestly, has nothing to do with the situation at hand. you determined it does. and that’s great. it doesn’t.
It’s not about retribution or gaslighting. It’s about unfairness in asking one partner to care more for the other than that one cares to return. Admitting inherent faults doesn’t free you from judgment. On that note, you can seriously ask someone to ignore the fact you’re steadily cheating and lying while at the same time expecting them to be there for you through thick and thin. What your basic point in this point is saying that women should care more for her man than her man cares for her which is complete foolishness.
My little brother passed away the first of this month. We were 15 months apart. I literally grew up with this kid. So naturally I’ve been depressed. My rock headed boyfriend has the nerve to tell me I’ve been neglecting him. I don’t know if I’m neglecting him or not. I just don’t care right now. He has a sibling but he hasn’t lost her. He has no idea how this feels.
i agree with you. completely.
Well you said it…rock headed. He doesn’t understand how much empathy he’s supposed to show in the situation, so now he’s thinking about what he wants. But, and take this with a grain of salt, because I know what it’s like to lose a loved one and be emotionally dettached….ask him if he really gets that a huge hole now exists in your heart and will never be repaired. Ask him if he really understands things will truly be different from now on. Depending on his reply and how much thought he puts into it, the future of your relationship will be presented to you in those few sentences.
So is he equally wrong for leaving her while she’s having a miscarriage? You acknowledge men have faults like it absolves them yet women have to be the 100% of the time. **** that. I’m supposed to be there for you 24/7 but you can’t do the the same? Nope. Not happening. Not ever.
you’re so appalled…spalding balls?
Not to mention that the reason she was going to work is because she needed to pay bills… she was already ‘understanding’ a child support situation, and being ‘cool’ until things got better.
Real talk… how much does a sista give before she becomes suckka mc stoopid hoe…
Head bump one… she let him have his space to get his mind right but it wasn’t supposed to be about a new chick the space was so he could find his muse… which must reside in Buckey’s g-string.
Head bump two… he ask if she is still going to be cool about carrying the weight of paying bills solo and not taking his azz to court for a child support increase since he is no longer living in the home.
Head bump three… the asthma attacks was triggered because he had been out the night before smoking dro, drinking and kicking it with the homies… he didn’t make sure that he had his medicine or therapy machine so he had to go to the hospital or stay his azz home where his woman was waiting for him instead of running the streets.
What does that look like, in the real world where chicks have to fend for them selves and their kids and nurture a dude who isn’t providing… I need to see that flow chart.
What is her reward for being down.
Too many ninjas running ride or die chick into the ground with no regular maintenance and then wondering why the wheels fall off so easily. ~JS
+1,000
Only that ride or die MAN (not boy, not male, not ninja) deserves that ride or die woman. Just like with anything else, crappy input in a relationship will result in crappy output (especially when VH1 is involved– they seem to have a taken a blood oath to make sure that ish happens).
i’m sorry but miss me with that. reverse the situation. if i told you i didnt take you to the hospital b/c i had to go to work you’re telling me you’d understand? b/c we had bills to pay??
I am seeing ice cold bloodedness in this thread. Sub-zero. Dry ice.
“i’m sorry but miss me with that. reverse the situation. if i told you i didnt take you to the hospital b/c i had to go to work you’re telling me you’d understand? b/c we had bills to pay?? “
Based on his account he is chronically mismanaging his condition… this wasn’t a one off emergency, but habitual behavior.
How many times do you think you get to call off work before you get the side eye and lose your job.
I have know people in this very situation, with spouses or even children… and if it happens too often people begin to think you are on one and begin not to care if its true or not because you are negatively affecting the job.
My daughter was with me at work when she had an allergic reaction and I had to leave early to take her home, I had been taking a lot of time running her back and forth to the doctor trying to figure out what was causing the extreme eye swelling and affecting her breathing.
Nobody said anything, but even though they witnessed it they were still like can’t you just ice her eye and give her some benadryl.
And that’s my kid (even though she was 15 at the time)… how do you think that goes with a grown azz man
Employers are only going to be so sympathetic to your situation ~JS
then perhaps you have the wrong employer.
at my job…my boss udnerstands situatoins. but we’re family friendly.
and chronic issues do not mean he doesnt need to go. lol…yall are cold as hell.
cmon son. we both know you are gainfully employed. I doubt Erica is in the same boat. She’s prolly a cashier down at the Pic N Save or something.
no, according to vh1′s website…she’s a damn medical technician.
SHE WORKS AT THE HOSPTIAL. SHE COULD AHVE DROPPED HIM OFF AND CLOCKED IN!!!!
“SHE WORKS AT THE HOSPTIAL. SHE COULD AHVE DROPPED HIM OFF AND CLOCKED IN!!!!”
This right here would put me 6ft under if she actually WORKED at the same hospital lil scrappy had to go to. *lmaoooo* DAMN!!! lol
I am too impressed by the way you were able to relay this message so efficiently!
And I say Church!!!
I was reffering to Jhane Sez comment, not the woman from the reality show.
Exactly! And she said he left her when they lost a child! Talk about not being there for somebody. He just wants an excuse to break up with her to be with shay. PJ I you gotta have all the facts before basing any theories of this show!
*PJ you*
she did say that. you right. THAT DOESNT CHANGE THE PREMISE. lol.
i aint saying it didnt happen JUST how she said it, i’m also not going to believe it happened just how she said it.
like what does that mean…left her when they lost a child…she lost it and he was like, “f*ck it and you im out now…?”
lol this is lil scrappy so if things happened just as you described would that be suprising? I honestly would have done things differently but I dont fault her for making the decision she made either
She should have been done with him much sooner, if she’s still carrying resentment that he left her when she lost a child.
She waited until his asthma attack to bring up the past, walk all over it, re-run it in her head while he cannot breathe? No bueno.
All that resentment is her fault. Resentment exists when a person KNOWS they should have left much earlier.
Familiarity breeds contempt. She was gonna be ok with his risk to life just because of their past??
She must still love him or be addicted to the dopamine high from being around him.
thank you ~*~
Thank you. Someone who is willing to fight that unfairly has too many issues to be in a relationship. I get that she might be pissed about that. However, a medical crisis isn’t the time to hash out those issues.
You’re right about Lil Scrappy half-a$$ing a break-up. Still, two wrongs don’t make a right. Whatever chance she had of making a comeback has been killed FOREVER.
Um, I haven’t watched the show consistently but I could’ve she wasn’t serious about making a comeback. In fact she seems more resentful of him than anything else. So that’s that classic “You can’t fire me ’cause I quit” joke.
i agree here. i dont get hte impression she cares that much anyway.
Thank you Liz!!!
I woulda told Scrappy to eat a dyck.
LMAO! I mean I might have helped him to the hospital, I dunno. I def would have wanted to but if my job is not playing games then I would have done what she did which was find someone to help him get there. What I am not cool with is his mama beefing with her about it as if Momma Dee don’t already know Scrappy is bout to bounce on Erica REGARDLESS of this incident. Shameful.
Yeah, his mom is entirely too much in their biz.
I would’ve cut that off early.
eh. false. while i may have that fact wrong, it doesnt change the facts of what happened. she did do exactly what happened, no? and that’s enough for most men to realize you aint there.
it does change what you’re arguing though. Your panties are in a bunch because she’s not a loyal partner. Not that she left him for dead (even tho he ain’t die). You’re mad she’s not loyal. All we’re saying is–He’s not loyal either, he hasn’t been faithful in the past, he wasn’t being faithful in the present when this incident happened, and he plans to dump her if he can find some balls to say so. So who is the loyal partner now???
i didnt say he was.
my beef was that instead of taking him to the hospital herself, she had somebody else do it. that’s not decent as a person. forget the relationship even. y’all keep arguing that he sucks therefore he shouldnt’ expect anything from her. i think thats retarded.
I don’t know. I think it’s valid not to expect anything from someone you’re not there for. Granted, I can’t let someone die even if we had bad blood because I value human life, but if I were him, and I was dying and the only one there to help me was the wife I left after she lost a baby and on whom I was cheating, I wouldn’t be surprised if she let me die out of anger/bitterness/spite/etc. I’d be blessing my lucky stars she called ANYONE.
People complain enough about women (rightfully) filing for child support painting them as golddiggers..Granted, tens of thousands of dollars per month is ridiculous. Butttt..this woman is trying to do her own thing and prioritizing the right things..namely, work, and she’s being called all sorts of names. I could see of he was on his last breath and/or she didn’t leave him in the hands of his close friend to take him to the hospital. Like, seriously? She’s supposed to lose her job to take some lame, has-been rapper who is also a serial cheater and mush mouth mama’s boy to the hospital because he has an asthma attack after a night of smoking and drinking at the club spending my child’s CS money on hoes with dry ass weaves??? GTFOH. And that dude asks to be taken off child support right after he breaks up with her the most punk ass way ever?!
i agree with Liz!
Annnnnnnnd the side-peice he has (BUCKEY) is the one that SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE! I do agree that a woman should stand by her man, but “at all costs” has to be negotiable in this situation:
1. After she had a miscarriage, he bounced…and “left her for dead (Mama Scrappy Voice)” with one of his homeboys
B. How you gonna be dipping out on your “baby mama” with Buckey and expect her to stand by your side at every waking (or non-breathing) moment?! #notfair
iii. Erica mentioned that Scrappy frequently blows all of his money at the club…he knows that his excessive debauchery leads to asthma attacks! So, at the end of the day Erica is responsible for raking in cash to take care of their child on a consistent basis.
aw HELL 2 Da Nawww she shouldnt have stayed. she made sure he had someone there with him…she had to handle business! its not like she had plans to take lil mama to the zoo…SHE HAD TO WORK!
ok i’m done…
*dead @EXCESSIVE DEBAUCHERY*
Thank you Liz for setting the record straight. I do watch this show for the pure ratchetness which is funny because I refuse to watch any of the other VH1 and Bravo reality shows.
Yeah Lil Scrappy used this as an excuse. He has done Erica so wrong and she had to go to work, I doubt she has that type of job where she can just call off and from the scenes for next week he is not doing enough financially for the family anyway.
As a shameless viewer of LHHATL, I just wanna say EXACTLY what you said Liz! My life isn’t dramatic enough or at all, LOL! I watch their drama and talk spit about them just cause.
OF COURSE SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM TO HOSPITAL. She’s a nasty a** human being for not. She’s not in the secret service or part of NASA or any profession that she absolutely positively needs to always be there without a 3 week notice for when she might miss a day of work. I hope she ends up alone and insane with a bunch of cats.
I’ll bet you $5 she was on her last warning tho.
There is a difference between girlfriends and wives… Why do men expect wife behavior from women they are not fully committed to?
I agree with SweeSass. There is a big difference between girlfriends and wives that a lot of guys can’t see. But in this life or death case she should have stayed.
Pretty sure if my girlfriend needs to be hospitalized I’m going there with her. That’s just me though. There would need to be extraordinary circumstances for me to not do that. She didn’t need to stay 15000 hours at his bed side praying (or not) to whoever. I thought that was a basic common courtesy thing. Shoot, if I got in/caused an accident with a stranger that needed to go to the hospital I’d go there with them.
Brother Malik, it is the correct thing to do. I’ve been to a few doctor’s appointments out of both love and basic humanity. It’s just that simple. If I’m with you, I’m WITH YOU!
I’ve only seen one episode of this show but I will say that Scrappy seems to be acting out too. Not your first attack bro.
exactly. she could get him there and call his momma. what the hell is wrong with these women?
I responded, but I’m trapped in moderation.
“There is a difference between girlfriends and wives… Why do men expect wife behavior from women they are not fully committed to?”
Aside from the fact that I believe just being a decent human being would lead her to taking him to the hospital when he was near death, this is a VERY good question in general. Not sure it applies with Scrappy and the asthma thing specifically, but men STAY doing this. STAY.
Women STAY letting them, STAY. lol
Men STAY “excusing” their jerkiness by saying women “let” them. LOL
That’s like saying society STAY allowing murders to happen. Yup, I went there.
what she said
PREACH!!!!
Just don’t let them kill you. H3ll is wrong witchu?
Okay this made me laugh
Right?! Should just use my 1UP, duh.
Hi Five!
right. in general, it is a good quesiton. in this situatoin THE NIGGA NEEDED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND SHE ACKNOWLEDGED AS MUCH. that’s just decent human sh*t.
“Why do men expect that behavior from women they are not fully committed too?”
answer: BECAUSE U PLAY HOW U PRACTICE! If a woman act like that as girlfriend, anymore investment into her like marriage, that chick will be WORSE! Its just like watching a kid practice a sport and he did guarding the the tight end off the bench in practice for football, how the hell u putting him in the game and expect him to be competent in that same situation, you a fool if you do. Same.thing with relationships homey but with bigger stakes.
They aren’t even really together. He cheated on her and left her then came back when the “other” chick left him. She’s reluctant to get involved with him again. I would alet that nigga die.
who cares…if you in it, you in it until you ain’t and she was there. at the time. you telling me that ain’t f*cked up.
i dont even know you but if i saw you going all asthma on me and you mimied “i’m manny from VSB” i’d take you to the hospital!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to your reasoning men generally fail especially this guy. Sounds cute though. I give you two creative points.
I’ve heard many times on this right here blog… if a man is getting everything he needs from a woman as a gf he will never feel the need to put a ring on it.
Now, how do you square that? If you do act like a wife… he won’t wanna ‘buy the cow’ cus’ he is getting free milk. If you don’t act the wife, you ain’t showing your wifey skills…
Sound like a lot of B.S.
“If you do act like a wife… he won’t wanna ‘buy the cow’ cus’ he is getting free milk. If you don’t act the wife, you ain’t showing your wifey skills…”
And I say CHURCH!!!
….and tabernacle
Amen #stuckinthepast
i’m not disagreeing with you there. in regards to the ring, you are right. though many men who do get married were geting the same thing and just decided to wife her. its a mental decision.
however, in this situation, there’s no wife vs girlfriend sh*t. this is human decency concerning the person you care about. or claim to. you can’t even draw a parallel between not letting a nigga NOT BREATHE in front of you and performing wifely duties.
Please, it wasn’t that serious… if he wanted to breathe right maybe he shouldn’t be smoking and drinking all night? Worst case scenario she could just stab him with an epi-pen… but it obviously wasn’t that bad. It was probably dramatized for the camera.
She made sure he got to the hospital. That is all that was needed for the situation.
you are cold.
“Worst case scenario she could just stab him with an epi-pen… but it obviously wasn’t that bad.” I’m sorry but this was just funny.
I agree. I got the feeling she’s been through this with him before. Where he had a bad asthma attack brought on by bad behavior (drinking, smoking excessively…) and seems to have made it a priority then. It’s not like she didn’t ensure he made it to the hospital by someone he knew and with whom he was comfortable.
Plus her job might not be as secure as most. I don’t think she’s a top level financier with leeway. She’s working hard with her vocational expertise and Scrappy isn’t conducive to that. And then also, more importantly, she ain’t feeling that ninja like that. He cheated on her publicly and then came back, half-heatedly, once Diamond dumped him. AND I’m sure he’s a caring Dad when it comes to picking up their child from daycare and making meatloaf, but I’m 100% sure she handles a majority of the finances in that household.
Now, flip that. If you were dating the mother of your child. She leaves you for Young Berg while you’re taking care of your child together. Young Berg dumps her. She comes back, but it’s obvious it’s not love, she just feels bad about her effed up life. Then she has one of her semi-traumatic asthma attacks after a night of smoking weed with her frend n’em.
And you have to be to work in the AM.
Half of you would have called her best friend and went to work too. I don’t have the time for the lies. Ego is real.
Tambourine Shake +1
“There is a difference between girlfriends and wives… Why do men expect wife behavior from women they are not fully committed to?”
Now, “by fully committed to” are you saying we aren’t fully committed because we’re not married? Or are you saying that me, as a man, is not fully committing myself to you, but I’m expecting you to fully commit to me? My response below is aimed at the former:
I hope you’re not saying that because you’re not a wife, you’re not obligated to put your all into the relationship/do things a wife would. Because that makes NO sense. I’ll tell you why.
You don’t want to act like a wife, but then have the audacity to catch an attitude with me because I don’t want to “put a ring on it” because I don’t find you “wife material”. Seriously? Of course I don’t find you wife material, because you weren’t exhibiting wife-like behavior! You know, behavior that’ll make me say, “I can really see myself with her forever.”
You must not be married.
I am married, and I cosign TUK’s message. I’m not expecting as much from a girlfriend, but if you want that big promotion, you’d better show some potential, or else you kill my whole a$$hole.
But when women do show all those things… why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free?
If a woman acts in every single way the wife… where is the man’s incentive to put a ring on it?
Many times ya’ll have said… the complete opposite of what you are saying right now.
“But when women do show all those things… why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free?”
Oh so y’all dudes gone act like this a new concept? Y’all know what SweetSass talmbout. It’s tried and true and has been blatantly ADMITTED.
Plus, y’all tell chicks to act like wife material (whatever that is) but then don’t materialize with any incentive to make her a wife then turn around and blame HER when she then expects it. Mmmhmm, this makes sense. -_-
that’s the glory of the royal scam… madoff style ~JS
I’d actually argue the opposite. Men with sense are less likely to marry a woman who doesn’t show wifey characteristics and actions, otherwise, you have no idea what you’re gonna get in the marriage. You have to assume the woman isn’t gonna change when you get married. Most women get worse after marriage. Now that I think about it, it would be absolutely bat sh*t crazy to marry a woman who’s half a$$ing during the serious dating phase.
I see what you’re getting at, and my response is all things in moderation. It seems like women either want to take your last name after the 2nd date or make a brother go through a line crossing for some head. How about opening up at the same rate he opens up to you? Nothing more or less. Not everything is an extortion plot.
That won’t get a woman who is looking for a relationship very far either because if she is mirroring his actions… And he is not trying to be exclusive… She is back at square one. Let’s get real… A guy is more likely to open up sexually before opening up emotionally. So back to square one, why would he feel the need to commit if he is getting all he needs from her?
“If a woman acts in every single way the wife… where is the man’s incentive to put a ring on it?”
The incentive is the fact that I KNOW that if were married, she’d have my back no matter what because she’s been exhibiting this behavior beforehand. Instead of me GUESSING that maybe she’ll act better when we get married, being disappointed, then getting divorced.
At least this is how I feel. Don’t know what type of men yall deal with.
I’mma file this down in ma notebook and I hope I never hear you say anything about not needing to get married when you all can get what you want as gf/bf.
Really it boils down to ya’ll ninjas utter hypocrisy and selfishness. Ya’ll don’t want to step up because you want us to demand things of you… then when we demand you prove yourself to us before we get serious with you… you are too lazy or selfish to do so. It’s a lose-lose for women. I ain’t down with that. Ya’ll are just proving how ninja ain’t *ish… they want wife treatment but don’t wanna actually go there. Get outta town with these excuses… We’ve heard it all at this point and it’s self evident ya’ll ain’t trying to do right.
No one guy can speak for the entire sex in the same way that no woman speaks for all women. Each guy is different and has different requirements and expectations before putting a ring on it. Sure some guys are out here pump fakn and don’t plan on committing but those are the pit falls dating.
I agree that some guys may not buy the cow if they are already getting all the milk they want but, how can you expect them to buy the cow if they dont even know if the milk is sour or not?
We already know he isn’t fully committed to her because he went up and got another house and had been cheating on her. So, you’re wrong, if you have already had someone’s baby and he ain’t wifed it up then… then he moved out of the house… then he is with another woman…
YA’LL AIN’T TOGETHER and she doesn’t owe him a trip to the hospital, it’s fine to just make sure he gets there.
no no no.
lol.
if she’s not there…sure. but she was with him. how you gon’ call somebody else and be like…”yo, your boy dying…could you make sure he gets to the hospital? text me later.
”
If that text were real…..y’all would have to scrape me off the pavement at the addition of the smiley face. And the crazy thing about it? I know folks who would do something insane like that! LOL
lol. But I have seen every episode and I would agree with your post if it were not for Scrappy’s and his crazy mother’s actions up until that incident.
Scrappy has been looking for a good excuse to totally break it off. Erica didn’t get it when he said that he was moving out of the house “so they can work on their relationship and get closer” where they do that at (pay extra money to move from someone that you actually want to be close to…that’s high school game).
Then he starting a relationship with “Buckey” and told her how terrible his “baby momma” is all the while Erica has no idea.
She may be a little cold but it seems like she has to be the responsible one while Scrappy can smoke and drink himself into an asthma attack.
TUK said: “You don’t want to act like a wife, but then have the audacity to catch an attitude with me because I don’t want to “put a ring on it†because I don’t find you “wife materialâ€. Seriously? Of course I don’t find you wife material, because you weren’t exhibiting wife-like behavior! You know, behavior that’ll make me say, “I can really see myself with her forever.â€
and the one atheist in the room hollars “AMEN”
point is either you’re my woman or you’re not regardless of a label or title.
if i were a believer in the institution of marriage, then why would i put myself through that madness when you’re gonna half ass me as a girlfriend…
And FYI, a lot of dudes avoid marriage because they see how many women were great girlfriends, but then flipped the script when you became wives.
So let me get this straight:
If a woman isn’t all sacrificial for you and wifely… she definately isn’t getting wifed.
If a girlfriend is awesome and wifely… she ALSO ain’t getting wifed because SOME OTHER women allegedly ceased to be so.
This sound like ya’ll are full of sh*t.
Thank you for perfectly illustrating why ninja ain’t sh*t. Selfish as h*ll. My mouth is agape at the entitled attitude ya’ll men are displaying today.
So, I’m “entitled” if I give my all in a relationship, and ask that my girlfriend do the same? That if I don’t hold back, she shouldn’t either? However, the woman who knowingly does not put her all into the relationship, yet still expects to get “wife’d up” just for being there, is what exactly?
But, I guess I ain’t sh!t then. Glad to have come to this epiphany while I’m 22, and still have time to change my montrously pathetic ways.
here here’
What does ‘your all’ mean? Do you even know?
Seriously. That is just a cliche. Even people who don’t do a damn thing throw up their hands all the time and say ‘I gave it my all’… it’s utterly meaningless.
Define ‘your all’.
To generalize, Men rarely show weakness, so if He is forced to, like in the case of serious illness, a man would wanna have someone he loves and or trusts by his side. the fact that she assign him to someone else and split says to the dude she doesn’t care.
“There is a difference between girlfriends and wives… Why do men expect wife behavior from women they are not fully committed to?”
As for the “wife or girlfriend” status, do you really have to be a wife to be there and be supportive to someone who in a relationship with?
[i would say if a woman did something like that for a man, her chances of getting that ring increases drastically]
Really guys? Foolishness. In line with this rationale all men who want children should also marry single moms so they can say I can see her being a great mother to my children. Terribly Flawed. Marrying someone primarily for how they treat you or do for you is selfish and a good source of divorce. Marry because of the degree to which you wanna do for them and the strength of your desire to make them feel good.
Uh huh, that’s why some 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Just ask Tom Cruise about that Katie Holmes Operation Bye Bish mission. Big ups to Ms. Holmes; I’m sure the Seal Team 6 are reaching out to her for tips.
Truthfully, both of you should want to do for each other. It’s not either/or; it’s both/and. And with regard to single moms, I did check for how they treated their kids. The way I saw it, if they were willing to do their own flesh and blood dirty, WTF were they gonna do with me?
Most guys don’t even consider getting with single moms. So… Good for you, but you are the exception… not the rule.
I figured women also avoided guys with children or is that a wrong assumption?
I think you’re assumption is right but not at the same rate that men choose(and stick to) not marrying single moms.
I think you missed my point. If you want children you should only consider marrying women with children, just like you can only consider a woman wife material if she is already being a wife.
Additionally, you can only be responsible for what you do in the relationship. Ideally, and if we are wise in our pickings as well as extremely blessed, the person that we choose to promise to love, will be as passionate about loving us. No one WANTS to be the martyr in their relationship. I was never suggesting an either or.
I know plenty of women who have gone above and beyond for men only to be dumped extremely unceremoniously— to be with women who have yet to lift a finger for a dude.
It happens erryday.
There would be no such thing as the ‘long suffering wife’ if this was the case or 7 year engagements that get called off and less than six months later he is married to a new gal.
+1
Okay, I hear you, however the point I was trying to make as per your post, is that you Don’t need a ring to show true love, loyalty and support. This you would do for even a best friend. If it doesn’t break your back to show love and support to a person, then by all means do it, but in a relationship this should go without saying, and you wouldn’t be wrong to expect the same from your partner. Now if you feel different then you should evaluate why you’re still in that relationship.
in this situation, it would have broke her pockets. I don’t expect that from my bestie, my siblings or even past boyfriends. My husband on the otherhand, better be there to take me home after my treatment and I bet not have to wait. I expect certain sacrifices from the one I share everything with that I wouldn’t dare expect from anyone else. Perhaps I exceptionally selfless, but probably not.
honestly, i dont truly believe that either. i just dont think she thinks its that serious NOR does she care that much.
i honestly feel like the job sh*t was as much as an excuse as we’re putting on him for just not wanting to be with her.
she just didn’t WANT to.
Yes SweetSass. There is a difference between being the wife or the girlfriend. If you’re my boyfriend and not my husband, don’t expect certain level of investments from me.
zackly.
*looks around to see if anybody’s watching*
*steals “zackly”*
I concur!!!
“There is a difference between girlfriends and wives… Why do men expect wife behavior from women they are not fully committed to?”
I believe it’s “new ninja” thinking SweetSass, LOL. You get wife benefits when you have a wife. I do believe one should look for the qualities they desire in a partner. I really mean I see too many women acting like wives when they haven’t gotten a commitment, attempting to “prove themselves” to these men. Traditionally, older women will tell you it should be the other way around.
“Traditionally, older women will tell you it should be the other way around.”
Yes!! Yes they would because back then that’s exactly how it went down… If you wanted a clean house/coooked meal/clean drawers and steady poon…. You had to take A WIFE 1st in order to receive those perks.
That is why you can’t truss them new ninjas over there…
Well even if you’re angry at the person you’re with and their life is in danger, does the title of husband or wife matter if you actually care about the person?
I don’t expect a jumpoff to call 911 for me if my life is in danger, but if it is someone I had a kid with, I mean damn it would at least be nice that I’d be accompanied if I’m truly sick.
that’s not wife behavior. that’s the person i give a sh*t about behavior.
i wouldnt’ expect some random stranger to do that for me if i was damn near dying but i cant even expect my girl? i dont care where we stand…the least you can do is get me to the hospital if you acknowledge that i need to go.
It’s obvious he doesn’t give a sh*t about her… or he wouldn’t be carrying on like he does…. why should she give a sh*t about him. I really don’t get your refusal to see the context here. He had abandoned her when she miscarried, as I recall someone saying above. I’d call that much worse than not going to the hospital over a little asthma.
If the relationship is like that then she shouldn’t even be speaking to the dude outside the court room regarding child support.
Exactly! I am literally cracking up over some of these comments. Like if dude was awesome and needed to go to the hospital, a woman would say “Ummmm…is there a ring on this finger? No. Ninja, you better crawl your a$$ to the hospital. I don’t have time for that nonsense.”
Straight up…
Walk it off.
Put some Windex on that.
then she’s as much as fault here for sticking around and even being in the vicinity. damn…where’s her own personal responsibility here? is Scrappy wrong for past transgressions? sure. is she wrong for this? sure. two wrongs don tmake a right.
but she didnt leave back then so now she gets to pull the revenge card? gtfoh.
Where is Scrappy’s self direction?
He has a chronic condition and didn’t take meds and did everything to aggrivate it while out at the club without her.
The real question is why do some men expect a stupid woman to take him to the ER when he can’t breathe? Wife or girlfriend has nada to do with it.
A woman who has no compassion for you is just as bad as a man who doesn’t care that you can’t breathe.
What are young ladies made of?
What are our Queens made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice,
That’s what Ms. Independents are made of.
Ms. Independents usually end up with an extensive collection of cats and a trail of tears.
The most important thing a woman can do is CHOOSE CAREFULLY. Do your due diligence. Vet a nia thoroughly so that you have an idea of what you are getting into.
and LEAVE the moment it gets foul. Don’t play the martyr putting up with his shit and then use that as an excuse not to get him to the ER if he can’t breathe.
People dying over grudges.
+1
Let’s not forget that Scrappy left her when she lost there first child. He went back on the road; is that not also going to work? Erica is a single mother and she needs to take care of her daughter; because we all know Scrappy isn’t selling out arenas. Now I can’t speak on whether or not she was wrong for not taking him to the hospital; just like I can’t speak on whether he was wrong for leaving her after she miscarried. Maybe he had contractual commitments he couldn’t break. I don’t know; I wasn’t there. But it seems to me they both have a history of not being there for each other when s/he needs it most.
As for women being there for men in general, sometimes men need their women to be there for them; but the women don’t know it, or understand the severity of the situation. I am sure the reverse is true as well. That said, I think some people feel that the need for loyalty and support should be innately understood. However, these same people might fail to realize that loyalty and support might mean something different to their partner. So maybe it would be best if people told each other what they needed and how they needed it, and gave their partner a chance to meet their needs. Even after an emotional/physical let down trust can be rebuilt and loyalty proven if both parties are willing.
i agree with this. i truly do. i do, however, think that you now good and well that if a ninja needs to go to the hospital…lol…he’s gon’ want the person he cares about to take him. now if we are just to believe that he really doesn’t care about her…and that she also really doesnt care about him, then it’s moot and a done deal.
Yes, I think that is the case here.
Here’s the deal…she has been with this guy 10 years on and off, im sure this isn’t the first time dude was being stupid and got drunk and caused an asthma attack as a result. A woman CANNOT play a mother to her man when he is acting a donkey. She said it plenty of times he needs to grow up. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but he left when she lost their child. Only so much a woman can take before she is tired. We don’t know what kinda job she has if she can just call out like that. I am the only tech for the day when I go in, calling out isn’t that damn simple. She has a child she needs to tend to because the father isn’t doing his job. If it were me, miss me with the bs, scrappy. It is quite obvious he needed an excuse to go with that hoodrat. People acting like she is disgusting for leaving, when nobody knows the full story. It’s tv, they edit for drama.
So in the end there are no winners and they have a crappy relationship, meaning we shouldn’t even try to have sympathy for either one because no one knows how to put on their grown-up pants.
don’t forget that they edit for drama…BOTH ways.
THANK YOU Malik!!!!!!
Just foul to not take him to the E.R. He could have DIED! Is she gonna be at his funeral saying “that’s what he get” ??? dag!
I don’t even have the right to shade Love and hip-Hop ATl, when I’m pumped for this show http://www.balleralert.com/profiles/blogs/reality-show-alert-are-you-ready-for-real-rap-wives-of-birmingham <—everything you need to know is in the URL.
IAYP why must I cry? These fools up here talking about bring married/engaged to local “rappers” ain’t nobody heard of outside of Alabama??!
I just. I’m done.
How did you stumble upon this? It looks like they used Windows Movie Maker to edit and produce it.
It also looks like it could have been in the previews of N-Secure. lol
The f*ck… Did they film/edit this on a calculator?? And I’m typing these words in a house built on a foundation set in good ole sub Mason Dixon line Alabama soil. SMH.
Im all for my city gettin some shine…but this looks perfect for public access tv…that park(Patton Park) is the place to be on Sundays.
Twist cap wine? Niiiiice
Oh wow!!!
And if you like Birmingham hip-hop, thanks to Twitter, I’ve learned about @UNITEDBALLAZ, REAL hip-hop from….South Dakota #thuglife
Loyalty and being there for someone is crucial in any given relationship (be it a relative, friend, or lover). However, no single person can be there for EVERY given situation, no matter how much the pair may love or care about each other.
And since I don’t watch the show, I cannot defend or chastise her for her choices. However, if she couldn’t be there at the hospital herself, the next best thing (in my opinion) in making sure that he is taken care of by others who love him just as much in her absence. Is it the ideal situation that he wanted? No. But it’s the best she could do given the options.
I think men need to understand that even if we can’t be there physically, just know that it is just as hard on us as it is on all of you. When we can’t be there at your side, we feel the same sting during that separation as well. There is no worse feeling than knowing someone you love in going through something and you are unable to be there to help them or stop the pain altogether.
Zackly. She didn’t prioritize work as much as the ability to take care of their child considering that it did not seem to be life and death as well as the fact that his own irresponsible behavior caused the situation.
Agreed. She knew she needs to go to work to support her child. This was not a new occurrence so based on past knowledge she figured he would be alright. She made the best decision she could. That’s all anyone can do.
i aint trying to be funny here…but let’s come the f*ck on with that needs to go to work to take care of her family sh*t. y’all are acting like this girl is poor. i’ll be good damn money she missed some work to tape segments for the show. i’ll bet that sh*t.
i feel you…but it wasn’t hard for her. she doesnt feel bad for him at all. she made that clear. to her its just asthma. get over it ninja.
they clearly dont or didnt need to be together and they show it constantly. i will agree with everybody on that point.
They need to live like they never met each other in their life.
So I hear what you are saying. I really do… BUT 1. I’m not about to put my man first when he doesn’t put me first. It has to be EQUAL. If I can’t expect the same from him than you can forget that ish. 2. Monica should NOT have stayed there with Q, therefore jeopardizing her place on the basketball team. *huge generalization alert* Men ask women to make those kinds of choices ALLLLL the time, that is, your relationship OR school/your career. And if a guy is truly truly worth a damn, and is not about to die, then there is no reason a dude should kick his girl to the curb for having her priorities in order. If it were reversed most women would not make a dude choose his job/school/career ambitions over her. Mostly, because we know we can’t win that fight. When a dude is focused on his hustle, no woman will be in the way. So if I’m not gonna make you choose, why would you make me choose? Fellas, get over your egos. You are not the only ones who have business to take care of. It’s not at all that we love you any less, but sometimes women have important things to take care of too… AND we are often willing to compromise.
If memory serves me correctly, Monica offered Q the opportunity to come back to her room and talk. He declined.
+1
You. Are. My. Hero.
+1 bizillionmillionkajillionfortyfive
PREACH!
B*tch, you betta say that!!!!
Lol
All of this!
“Monica should NOT have stayed there with Q, therefore jeopardizing her place on the basketball team.”
She should have. She wasn’t jeopardizing her whole career. Her coach was just going to make her sit on the bench during the next game. Quincy was there for her when she really needed him, but she couldn’t do the same.
“Men ask women to make those kinds of choices ALLLLL the time, that is, your relationship OR school/your career.”
Of course we do. Because we make sacrfices to (try) and keep you happy ALLLLL the time. That movie/restaurant we take you to? We hate it. But you love it so we go anyway. That dress you absolutely adore? We don’t have much food in the fridge for two weeks because we spent money we don’t have to buy that dress. To make YOU happy. That perfect, extravagent wedding you wanted? Again, MUCH is sacrificed to make YOU happy. Men make sacrifices for women all the time. It just doesn’t get appreciated because society tells us that’s what we’re “supposed” to do. All we ask, is the same.
We make different sacrifices. The vast majority of men that love and care for their girlfriend/wife would take an a**-whooping to a bullet for her. We would also most likely scoff at the notion of sacrificing our career for theirs regardless of if their career is grander. Likewise, we’d expect women to sacrifice for our career, but wouldn’t really care if they defended us. It’s how we’re socialized. Goes back to how men don’t really care about education level or pay grade from women even though we use that to separate ourselves from other men when courting.
Of course. I’m just saying, a woman being there for us isn’t really about ego, or self-centeredness, us thinking the world revolves around us, etc. It’s about being fair. We sacrifice a lot to make them happy/to try and keep the relationship going. A few sacrifices on their end isn’t much to ask for. I will admit that career/school is a sort of gray area. Like if she’s trying to go back to school, but doing so would make things much more difficult for us finacially, or doing so means we can’t spend valuable time together, I don’t think I’d be the bad guy if I ask her to hold off on school until we’re more financially stable/we’ve been in a relationship long enough that we can survive our quality time being erratic/inconsistent.
Ok, but maybe her going back to school allows her to apply for a job that would put y’all in a better $ position ( some employers will accept that you’ re working toward a degree they feel you need), or it allows the mental and emotional freedom to focus on her own development and leave an employment situation that’s killin her. These are hypotheticals of course, and I do get what you’ re sayin, but sometimes you also need to weigh the overall cost of trying to force someone to make a sacrafice for you on the basis of ” well, I make them for you, so you can do me this one”.
And sweetie, that line about the newness of your realationship not being strong enoigh yet to withstand prolonged periods of seperation? If ya chic is in school, then that’s childish and selfish. You can got to a couple classes wit her, be her study buddy at times, be there to provide her that must needed break, etc. This covers physically and mental togetherness. Please don’t ever ask a woman to put off her education for you cause you wanna cuddle and eat crepes in the park wit her, ok? You will not like the place the relationship is destined to end up.
First example, maybe, dependindg on extenuating circumstances.
Any woman who does this would be a damn fool.
Where is this actually a thing? Not saying it isn’t possible, but I don’t really see it that much.
If women told men all the things they do for you that are sacrificial beyond the obvious ones like sexual favors and having babies that will carry YOUR name the list would be darn near infinite. Just trust that the sacrifices that you make likely pale in comparison to all the unrecognized sacrifices she is making daily. If you gave a good woman. Just trust me in this one.
Can I get a short list of the ones you think are major sacrifices that we have no clue about?
It’s funny you say your ‘sacrifice’ is something is most likely will never need to be called upon… Do you live in the Wild West where your woman is facing abduction everyday from bandits to get tied to train tracks?
People do not get mugged (as a couple) on the street everyday. There is rarely a situation where a man will need to ‘take a bullet’ for a woman, if ever. If a woman is to ever be attacked 9/10 it will be when she is alone. So your chances of being the knight in shining armor are next to nil. That is a false comparison and a weak lame sauce ‘sacrifice’ when you ain’t actually doing anything day to day.
Whereas, a woman sacrificing career is something that affects her EVERYDAY.
NOT EQUAL. GTFOH with that piss poor logic.
I’m not talking about strangers. I’m not trying to make the situations equal either. That was exactly why I choose an extreme example and an ordinary example. One lives in the land of the hypothetical and one lives in the land of reality.
If you aren’t doing something everyday, proactively that is no sacrifice at all. Bringing up a very unlikely situation and saying “if this happens I will do that” and comparing it to things someone does for you everyday… Is utterly lame. This is just like guys who expect praise for doing simple life shit. Also, you would care if a woman didn’t defend you… You’re telling me if you were out matched by six guys and she had a gun in her purse and a phone you’d still be like, “Honey, I got this!” Boi, please! Plus, you don’t know how much heroism you’d display in an emergency. I know a guy who was in a park with his girl and they got attacked he defended himself but ran away to nearby houses alone and left her with the three knife and gun wielding dudes, thankfully they just stole the car and didn’t rape her.
The juxtaposition was the point. Why are you arguing with me on something we’re eye to eye with.
I’m mad you’re even calling it a sacrifice. It’s really not.
I would classify me getting knifed in the liver a sacrifice. It’s probably a once in a lifetime sacrifice, but it still is one.
I would classify me getting knifed in the liver a sacrifice. It’s probably a once in a lifetime sacrifice, but it still is one.
That presupposes you’d have the courage to stick around and get stabbed for your woman. You don’t know what you’d do in that situation when the fight or flight response takes over… unless it’s already happened before, you don’t know if you’re really that brave or a coward like the guy who left his g/f with three armed thugs and saved himself.
“We would also most likely scoff at the notion of sacrificing our career for theirs regardless of if their career is grander.” <—kinda going through this now. my earning potential is like 3x yours but imma put my career off for yours? so I got this PhD to be a house wife? you can't be serious…
If a man really cares about you… he will do what it takes to help you acheive your dreams. Look at Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s husband. Best believe that job is hella taxing but he stuck with her through it.
Thank you again, Malik.
“That movie/restaurant… dress you absolutely adore?… extravagant wedding?”
Those sacrifices don’t even come close to the sacrifice of a career or school. So because you’d really rather go to Chili’s but instead go to Fridays because I want to, I should sacrifice my career/school? What the what??!
“She wasn’t jeopardizing her whole career. Her coach was just going to make her sit on the bench during the next game.”
SON! If I remember correctly this was the first game that she was going to START in. Should she have really jeopardized that? That situation with his dad could have held to the next day. or he could have talked to her on the phone or gone back to the dorm to talk like she suggested.
I dated a basketball player in college. He wasn’t missing not nary a curfew to sit on the bleachers and talk about my problems. I WOULDN’T HAVE ASKED HIM TO.
My real comment seems to be in moderation, but, yeah, what she said!
1. My point was that men make sacrifices all the time to make women happy. That’s what you do if you truly care for someone. You put their happiness before yours.
2. If I recall correctly, Monica was a Freshmen. She had 3 more years to get that starting spot back if she lost it for the rest of that year (which is doubtful).
3. You wouldn’t ask your college boyfriend to break curfew for you? Funny, that’s the same thing Monica said. So I’ll repeat what Quincy said, “You wouldn’t have to ask me to.” Point. Blank. Period. When your loved one, someone you truly hold dear to you is down, you cheer them up. No questions asked. Don’t, and you leave the door open for someone else to.
To respond to your second bullet point, I respectfully disagree. If I recall correctly (which I do) that bish arse heffa Citrus was in her Senior year when she messed around and destroyed her ACL. Who was to say that Monica would remain healthy for the next 3 years?
She saw her chance to start and took it. Monica was just as serious about balling as Q was and shouldn’t be faulted for her dedication. Q could have easily rolled back to Monica’s dorm and cried about his daddy’s indiscretions there.
Compare give up some money to give up your future..hmmm. be broke for a little while or shut down a huge part of your identity. Hmmm……..
Please list the sacrifices that dudes make that even compare to losing one’s career?
How about your used car salesman boyfriend who put his own career in the rear view mirror (see what I did there lol?) because he knew he didn’t have enough financially to go to school and put a roof over your head, the water running, the lights on, clothes on your back, food in the fridge, and just keeping you content in general.
Unless you believe that every man’s dream is not to be a doctor, lawyer, ball player, entrepenuer, but that guy who sells used pontiacs because he absolutely adores the smell of rust, then yea, I guess dreams to come true.
How many women have you financially supported (rent/bills/etc.) with a blue collar job? (Not that car dealership is one, they can get really good pay)…
I’ll wait.
I’ll wait until you tell what that has to do with what I just said.
You brought up some hypothetical example of a car salesman boyfriend who gives all his meager paychecks to cover the roof over a woman’s head… as an example of sacrifices men make….
You are a man….
Thus I asked you… how many women have you supported with a blue collar wage. Or any wage. Or any support at all.
You are full of it.
I don’t want to go in on this chick. You don’t know the sacrifices I’ve made. When you have to clean out your savings, damn near clear out your 401k, jack up your career and go into massive debt to back someone up for them to flip the script over and over, then you can say stuff. Until then, go to hell in gasoline-soaked drawers.
You didn’t have to. You chose to out of love. If you did it for someone who took advantage of you I’m sure that hurts but don’t be bitter. The right woman will help you get back on your feet once you forgive and chalk it up.
o___0
Whatever.
Everytime I read one of these kind of comments by you my heart just says.. “Po Lil Tink Tink”…. *smh*
Keep your head up my Brother… *raisesAfroPicFist*
““Po Lil Tink Tinkâ€â€¦. *smh*”
Bwah ha ha!!! Somebody tryna get me fired
I guess if she couldn’t breathe, she’d die right there on that floor rather than ride in your car on the way to the E.R.
+2
Sorry, guys, but both Quincy AND Scrappy were wrong. In Quincy’s case, he knew the business. He knew how hard Monica was having it with the team. Then to expect her to throw it away because you sad????? Nah, pimp. You should have followed ma back to the dorm. I’m more than positive her roomie would have given you guys some privacy.
Scrappy, Scrappy, Scrappy. I’m so disappointed in you, Scrappy. You knew you didn’t want to be with Erica, but rather than man up, you searching for something, anything, to give you a reason to completely bounce. I understand the whole asthmatic-i-can’t-breathe thing, but the girl did NOT abandon you. She made sure that someone was there with you to take you to the ER. The very same someone that YOU sent to HER when she miscarried. Doesn’t feel so good when the roles are reversed, huh?
I really don’t understand why people don’t see Scrappy for what he is, anyway. A washed up asthmatic mama’s boy who’s only hope for a comeback IS this show.
*insert eyeroll here*
that should be *whose*
im sorry…maybe Quincy should have gone back with Monica. but i cant fault him for that.
however, Scrappy is not wrong. at all. sorry.
I don’t even watch the show. Never saw an episode.
The point is she didn’t see if he survived the asthma attack. She was being very ignorant about the seriousness of asthma or is truly cold-blooded.
Yeah, while I don’t totally agree with the Quincy comparison (I DO understand why he was hurt but I also can’t completely throw Monica under the bus as if she didn’t support him at all… because she totally did)… I’m completely with Scrappy on this one.
Not even because she “owes” Scrappy anything… that ninja did some FOUL ish… like the miscarriage thing. Dayum, G. But yeah, I’m not a tit-for-tat person when it comes to life or death. I woulda took him to the hospital.
Can we talk about how I can’t even talk about this situation without thinking about the post picture Panama decided to use today??? LMAO
Yup! Unforyumately(or fortunately) livelihood is dependent upon our success as much as our man’s these days so men really should stop having the same expectations as when our occupation was just a hobby.
PS whether or not we would ask them to make those sacrifices highlights one point but additionally they would not generally make them and we would be expected to understand.
Cosign!!
Your first point, true enough for all people, not just women. But women do tend to make men a priority (unsolicited I might add) in response to where they want the relationship be instead of where it actually is. And women’s expectations and reactions reflect their hopes for the status of the relationship as well.
Breaking curfew for someone going through an emotionally traumatic event or being late to work to take someone with a medical condition to the hospital is something decent human beings would do for an acquaintance or even a stranger. Career choices these are not. “Retribution” does not equal equality.
If you want equality, fine, but take the good with the bad. Get a dude that wants to stay home or work part time and support you in your career. You pay the bills, pick up the tabs, support him emotionally day in and out after you get home from work. Protect him when you’re out, put his emotional issues first, listen to his problems and keep your feelings bottled up. Pregnant? He decided if you’re ready to be a parent and pay child support. If he gets physical with you, eat, if you touch him, go to jail. You have emotions, woman up, he does, support him. Oh yeah, go ahead and lop 5 years off of your life expectancy. Open doors for him, take full responsibility for his sexual satisfaction and take charge when it gets real. If you get divorced, you pay him and he keeps your kids and the house you paid for.
Don’t want an uber beta male? Then play your part and stop pretending the game is rigged only against your sex. Both sides have inequalities to complain about.
I guess maybe we’ll stop having this argument when people stop arbitrarily attributing certain inequalities/needs to certain genders. *whistles*
Define arbitrary, because I feel like the definition you’re using must be pretty arbitrary. Unless you’re arguing that my observations are categorically wrong. Then feel free to refute the ones you don’t agree with. Unless you’re in the there is no differences between the sexes, only societies chains camp. Then feel free to return to your Daria season 3 DVD with director commentary or whatever else angsty middle schoolers are doing in third period study hall these days.
The only ones I can give you are the pregnancy bit and the physical abuse bit. Other than that, I’ve been on both sides of the coin…
Of course, the sexes aren’t that different, but are you saying I’m wrong in assuming these aren’t behaviors men have to display more than women? These aren’t the social expectations of men that hey are ridiculed for not meeting? And I really am sorry that you’ve had to hold doors for dudes and protect them when you were out. Not sure what kind of guys you’ve been messing with , you seem like a smart attractive girl. Stop meeting guys at Drake fan fiction brunches and come to Philly.
Please, married men live longer than single men.
And being equals and pulling your weight is all that is expected of men these days. Very few families have ever been ‘woman stay home.’
Black women have always worked and taken care of home breaking their backs since infinity…
Not really sure what you’re arguing here. My point was that both sexes have have individual burdens that aren’t shared bu the other, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Talking about one without looking at the whole picture, and, real talk, what you genuinely want from a mate is is just baseless complaining.
both your response and the original comment make me wonder: Is this a chicken-egg situation–who came first, your sacrifice or mine? My respect for you or your love for me. Because I think that in a relationship, you can’t keep a tally, it’s an ongoing indication of where the situation between you and your partner is.
I’m not a fan of taking the Bible literally, but I have thought about and believe the assertion that a woman must respect her man to make “big” decisions involving their life together, especially her life as well. But only if said man loves her immensely enough to look out for her best interests.
i.e. I believe I would definitely sacrifice my job (not the same as sacrificing a career–this is where focus and ambition are important complimenting traits for women, because they grant a certain privilege of mobility) if my sig other needed me to, but if and ONLY if he has shown me that investing in his choices, his judgement and his faith in himself is synonymous with the thought that his motivation and actions will always benefit me. Benefiting us as a unit.
All this assuming though, that both the man and woman are made for each other. sometimes, like Scrappy & Erica, it’s obvious that they’re not in the same lane, and so it can be expected that their actions toward one another would cause turmoil sending them their seperate ways. As they should go.
Erica is no Shay/Buckey and she should be perfectly content in accepting that; instead of waiting on Scrappy, she shoulda dropped him long ago and become open for a man who can appreciate everything she’s doing and all she’s been through in life that makes her Her.
I agree that they should not be together in the first place. Definitely not in the same lane, too much baggage, and I’m not sure why she is holding on to him so tight in the first place.
” Breaking curfew for someone going through an emotionally traumatic event or being late to work to take someone with a medical condition to the hospital is something decent human beings would do for an acquaintance or even a stranger.”
What I am seeing in the words are chips on shoulders, attitudes and comparisons made on who was hurt the most, who sacrificed the most, et cetera.
Why be in a relationship if we are hung up on who did what, how much, when, who bled the most, who hurt the most, who sacrifice the most, who suffered the most? Pain olympics.
I agree 100%. If you’re in a relationship with someone that is so dysfunctional that you don’t show them the same decency you should a stranger, then it’s time to reevaluate some things.
*cues music*
Self destruction ya’ headed for self destruction
Self destruction ya’ headed for self destruction
he didnt want to be seen by anybody and have to answer questions. you’re right. she did though. and perhaps he should have done that.
but i will say this, when you are the one going through things and you expect your friends to be there, and they know you’re going through it, do your friends be like…yo, i really want to listen but i got this more important sh*t to do…so text it to me and i’ll respond. or come do this on my terms and i’ll be there for you.
you’d be upset too.
with that being said, i do agree…that ninja could have walked with her. lol.
Yeah, see with me I’m not taking away any validity on Quincy being upset. When you’re so upset in that moment, sure you’re gonna be upset that the exact support you needed wasn’t given. However, in hindsight, you realize that they WERE there for you seeing as how there is way more than one way to be there.
And I think Quincy did have that hindsight later in life. He acknowledged he just wanted to push her away anyway.
+1000!!!
I just paypal’d you a grand. Check yo account, because that comment was worth it.
I don’t really watch this show (I’ve seen bits & pieces), but I LOVE Love & Basketball. And Quincy was on some major b*tcha**ness with that. He was messed up because he couldn’t idealize a less than perfect man anymore, and even if Monica had stayed with him that night, his shady a** (at that time) would’ve most likely dumped her anyway. Bruh was feeling some kind of way, and he had to work that out for himself.
Now…as for Erica on L&HH, since she is the only heifer on that show with an actual job, I say let the girl go to work.
This reminds me of when my ex-boo thang lost in the finals. He was a hooper and it was his last year in college, he had a great year and his team was #2 coming into the finals. After they dropped out the first round by a buzzer beater shot by the ninja he was guarding……I kinda sorta forgot to be there for him and well, there’s a reason for the “ex.” It took me a minute to even realize how stupid I was, but I was kinda young. Oh well.
Something tells me the over/under on the times that ex played “B1tches ain’t sh1t” in reference to you is around 45. LOL
You wasnt with me shootn in the gym!
LOL funny you should say that because when he finally agreed to come over my house so we could talk about “us” he was bumping that song in his head phones and left it on repeat throughout the duration of or conversation. SMH
Ok, i’m one of the people that dont watch the show lol but i did see half of the “put the paws on him” episode and wasn’t he out there rubbin up and down on Buckeey and talkin about how his baby mama is just that (i.e. he don’t eff with her) and how he didn’t wanna fight Stevie J at first because he didn’t want her to think they were getting back together? So how did this amount of drama pop off? Either way, i do think if she was sittin right there when he had the asthma attack and it was apparent that he was gonna need to go to the hospital then yeah she should’ve at least taken him and called someone to stay with him if she really had to go.
Sidenote: its been years since i’ve seen love & basketball but i’m pretty sure i didn’t side with Quincy on that one either.
ain’t a woman alive who sided with Quincy. lol.
but had he done the “right” thing (according to y’all) there’d be no movie. so you take the good with the bad.
I should be ashamed to admit that I watch this show but I love the ratchness of it all. At first, I was thinking that Erica was dead wrong for not taking him to the hospital and staying with him. Then I heard her say that it wasn’t her fault that that he got wasted in the club and brought on an asthma attack. She made sure that he got to the hospital but it also sounded like this wasn’t the first time that something like this had happened and she was sick of it. Erica should have went to see him in the hospital after work though.
Also from the previews from next week, it looks like Scrappy doesn’t pay any child support so maybe she had to go to work to make sure that their daughter is fed and has a roof over her head.
And Scrappy ain’t ish for messing with Buckey with that godawful wig. I kinda think the asthma attack thing was just an excuse so he could get with Buckey.
Yes, that wig was AWFUL.
“Then I heard her say that it wasn’t her fault that that he got wasted in the club and brought on an asthma attack.”
Exactly! He is a grown man and therefore should have made better life decisions and Erica did behave as if this has happened before……given how immature scrappy is I’m sure it has.
shouldn’t she also make better life decisions too? i mean she did get knocked up by him and if he aint paying isn’t that on her?
the nigga gets drunk in the club and the next morning is damn near dying…and the correct response is call somebody else to get him there? c’mon.
PJack, I can tell that if someone you knew was in a medical emergency and you were there, you’d call 911 or take them to the ER yourself.
You THINK you can tell that about PJack. But Everything is super Easy to say when you are Not There. We always Think we know what we will do. Then Life Happens. You make a choice. And I think it makes God Laugh.
look. i aint perfect. at all. never purported to be. but one thing i am is loyal. i make mistaekes in life but i’ll be there for you if i care. period.
Right, “If you care…”
She don’t care. Why should she? He ain’t *ish. He is a human chex toy at this point in her life. Their relationship was nonexistent if he is out of the house and with other women.
And this is how people end up in jail for not helping a family member or boyfriend or girlfriend who was dying in their own home.
all ‘cuz of a grudge.
Yea, I think you have to be someone who watches the show to see how Scrappy didn’t deserve the loyalty–he failed himself.
Also, forgive me, for I believe in soulmates and best-fits: I feel naturally people bring out different sides of you and I have been accused of being emotionally detatched/insensitive in relationships with men, but I have also had relationships where that side of me actually does get evoked–even when I wish it wouldnt. I say this bc I don’t know why Erica needs/wants/puts energy into Scrappy. I feel she doesn’t trust him anyway (for good reasons), which is why she doesn’t open that overly-emotional/side towards him.
As for Scrappy, if Erica was what he loved, adored, yearned to please and protect, then his arse wouldn’t be so easily strayed.
The two (from what the show shows) aren’t a natural fit, so every action, every sentiment, every direction they take twd each other reflects just that. IMHO.
Love this show!!!! (But I feel I can openly do that since I hold advanced degrees and sh*t)
I feel like you’re making fun of a few guys I just cut loose. Being that dating isn’t everything to me (I’m focused on other things), me putting some guy who is NOT my Significant Other on the back-burner (re: I’m not leaving work/interrupting my life for you at this time), doesn’t mean I don’t care. It just means that I have other things prioritized.
If ninja is not in a serious committed relationship (re: not on some b.s. fooling around, is prone to having all kinds of baby mama drama, and pretty much is opposite of my soulmate/perfectly compatible/marriage material), then no, I’m not cutting anything in my life that’s important (re: paying my bills), to take ninja to the hospital. Said ninja can call Tyrone.
Now if he was my Robin to my Paula, then yes, I’d call off work. But depending on the state of the relationship, depends on the amount of effort I put into it. I had to break this down for a dude earlier, and he was HURT. Women don’t want to waste effort on a ninja who isn’t putting in the same effort. Just saying. Not that some won’t, we just don’t want to.
I would be willing to bet some good money I earned at this job that puts a roof over my head and gas in my car that if this Erica woman had taken him to the hospital and stood by him no matter what, today’s post would be about how she’s a stupid bush thinking he’s gonna wife her when he’s obviously just using her.
“Erica woman had taken him to the hospital and stood by him no matter what, today’s post would be about how she’s a stupid bush thinking he’s gonna wife her when he’s obviously just using her.”
LOL. exactlyyyyyy
And it would have went down a lil something like thisssss..
Camera Confessionals:
Erica: Yeah Scrappy had a liltle asthma attack and I wanted to be there for him so I called in sick from work because I love him and wanted to let him know I am DOWN FOR US and For our relationship to work this time around.
Scrappy; Ya know mannnn, yo I appreaciate my babby momma taking me to the hospital and all but damn did she have to call in sick tho? She know my situation right now —yo that’s just straight up irresponsible, she ain’t there for our baby, I mean how she gonna eat if erica calling in sick, naww man I can’t even get with that.
End Scene.
a lot of y’all need hugs. lol.
i thought i was cynical.
This is real. I’ve known women who gave up jobs for a dude… left their families… flew across the nation to be there for a guy… to get completely dogged out. This ain’t cynical. It is factual.
lmao yes
i swear fo’ God and three white men that this post would have been about Rainbow Brite. lol. dead serious.
i wouldn’t have said that…at all.
you dont know me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I watch Love and Hip-Hop-ATL. I find it entertaining. Remember when that was the only responsibility television shows had-to entertain? Anyway, I digress…
Erica obviously resents Scrappy for how he played her for old girl. She is looking to get credit for time served, meanwhile the bitter resentment is boiling over and burning like made from scratch caramel if you don’t watch it at its precise boiling point.
She can’t expect him to make her feel better about her decision to get back with him despite her feelings about him cheating. She is obviously holding out on sex (I really wish he would say that instead of affection) making both of them miserable. And she would have to be a fool to think he’s all in or even interested in being with her long term. Poor thing. Girl, go sit down somewhere and let it go. You are not about that life.
And she seems to have some good sense, she’s pretty, she’s apparently able to take care of her family. He doesn’t mean her any good.
Smartest thing said today. This is EXACTLY whats happening. Male or female, if you can’t forgive someone for what went down in the past, let them go. Don’t make yourself miserable by reliving it every day and the other person miserable by making every action either of you take relative to mistakes made in the past.
Let me find out you got a good head on your shoulders too…
very very true.
That wasn’t evident when we were together last weekend Meech?
I see what you did there. I appreciated the objectification too.
I’ll throw you a bone
from time to time to make you feel like I want you for your body as well as your mind, but you know what I really want,so keep giving me that.
The key will be under the mat.
Only fair, considering how much I’ve thrown you.
I got you Meech. All day.
You’ve never objectified me. I don’t know if you want me for my mind or my body.
1. Scrappy moved out prior to this episode
2. Scrappy is engaging in coital bliss with the ample-a$$ed Bucky
2a. For why Bucky couldn’t stay with him at the hospital? That is his “bff” and all
If I were Ericka I would’ve thrown an inhaler at him and went about my business. Puff puff ninja, you’ll be aight.
“Puff puff ninja, you’ll be aight.”
lamoooooo…. right?! I love how men gonna act all like you should do for them when they acting like a mutt in them streets. lol
He expects her to be a wife one minute then the next it’s “I need my space to do what I want, when I want”
Ummm. Negative. You can miss me with your constricted breathing sir.
lmao!
+1
You were definitely on a roll AfroPetite! lmaooooo
“If I were Ericka I would’ve thrown an inhaler at him and went about my business. Puff puff ninja, you’ll be aight.”
This made me squeal! LMAO!
“Puff puff ninja, you’ll be aight.”
Now i can go to bed because this just about sums the entire situation!
Sidenote: Have yall seen the new pic of Baby Blue…she’s adorable. *exits stage right*
She is mucho pinchable.
+100000000
and he don’t be payin for the kid neither????? He’ll be aight.
Scrappy is engaging in coital bliss with the ample-a$$ed Bucky
Ahh Bucky… the definition of a butterface. Met her once in Atlanta… Body. Just. Won’t. Quit.
hell it sounds like that’s what happened. lol.
Of course a man’s actions are influenced by selfishness/ego/pride. It leads to a lot of dumb behavior on our part. I feel the same way about women and “Attention” lol. I think every woman should just change her middle name to “Attention” or “Compliment Me”. After all, Attention is the reason why:
– Women get upset if they go somewhere and see another woman with the same outfit on. Means they’re not as special. Especially if the other chick is rocking it better.
– When men ignore her to gawk at that gorgeous azz chick, she proceeds to point out dumb, irrelevent azz flaws to make the chick seem overrated. Like us men REALLY give a f*ck if her eyelashes are half a milimeter too long.
– Spend hours putting on make-up and sh!t.
– Take a knowingly beautiful pic on Facebook, but the caption reads, “I’m so hideous lmao,” so that thirsty guys can flock to it and tell her “Your first, middle, and last name should be Beautiful. That way your I.D reads: ‘Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful’. Hurr durr.”
- Get mad when we get into our sports/video games.
– Or my personal favorite, constantly complain on Facebook about how horny she is, how she hasn’t had sex in a while, and she just wants a Friends With Benefits type deal….but rejects every single guy to tries to get at her. Why? Because she’s “not just some h*e who enjoys sex and will f*ck someone just because she’s horny.” Really? Then why the hell are you complaining?
On another note, sometimes I think women don’t appreciate how difficult men have it. It’s hard out here for us. Like, I remember this traumatic experience when this woman saw a big azz spider and immediately ran behind me for protection. B*tch, I’m scared of spiders too!! The f*ck you want me to do about it?!?!
“constantly complain on Facebook about how horny she is, how she hasn’t had sex in a while, and she just wants a Friends With Benefits type deal”
Seriously? Dayummmmmm…. that’s just wow… I have to say I think your FB is a bit more entertaining than mine! LOL Up until now, I’ve not had this experience. I say now because a recent friend has started sending me erotic stories that he wrote while deployed. O-M-F-G…. now THOSE stories are extra flammable. But, he’s asked me for some interesting feedback… like how the stories made me feel, what did I do about it, what hands and fingers were used. O_o I was like dude really? To his explanation of “I forgot to tell you I’m a sexual deviant.” Nah, I couldn’t tell by THOSE stories. But, at least FB is more interesting now. BOL
Spiders? Are you kidding? smdh… Do you need me to lend you a pair? lmao
Maybe it’s because I’m slightly younger (you just turned 30 after all,
), so I see a lot more outlandish stuff on FB. But yea, my FB is….interesting to say the least. Though I am a bit peeved that 90% of the females I graduated elementary school with got pregnant damn near as soon as they got into high school. That trend of ratchetness needs to end….pronto.
And as for me needing a pair? Why would I? I already have a set. Besides, spiders are f*cking creepy looking. Not to mention I saw that movie Eight-Legged Freaks and….*clutches Teddy Bear*
Aww baby, come here, I’ll protect you from that bad ole spider. *mushes TUKs face with boobs while staring at his pants*
See, I can be mama/heaux. At. The. Same. Damn. Time.
Wait, what?
I am disturbed by this, lol!
“See, I can be mama/heaux. At. The. Same. Damn. Time.”
LMAO… Get it girl. The spider I mean, oh, and the one eyed snake… hahaha
Thank you for providing me with the comfort of your buxom. Warmth, softness, safety, security. There’s only one word to describe that.
Home.
“I see a lot more outlandish stuff on FB.”
LOL… actually TUK, you and my oldest daughter are the same age. She complains about her FB friends being ‘childish’ all the time. I was invited to a group someone set up for our high school. Folks started posting shyt they remembered about high school. Everyone could remember the smoke hole, the principal chasing people, the store from where everyone seemed to buy beer for breakfast, illegal substances in the parking lot, but hardly anyone could remember where the library was located in the school! It was a riot.
As for your other problem, maybe they just haven’t dropped.
LOL
Pause…you have a daughter? My age? Meaning no cops? No lawyers? No legal technicalities? The term “Sexual Offender” in no way, shape, or form being associated with my name? Well helloooo Nilla! Or should I say, my new bestie!
Yeah but u cant kill spiders! Soooooo….
i dont like spiders either.
OMG… some men are such wussies! Spiders, snakes, centipedes, scorpions, just stomp their arses… much like men claim women do! Ha!
Snakes and scorpions I like, those are actually cool. Spiders and centipedes though? Nope, not for me. And don’t let me see one, and squash it with my shoe, but I look at the bottom of my shoe, on the wall, on the floor, and his dead body isn’t there.
I swear I will be up all night like O.O OMG WHERE THE F*CK IS HE?!?! Then I can’t rest until I can confirm he’s dead.
LOLOLOL… you and PJack are funny! My kids were sitting on the sofa one night and this fairly large spider crawled up on the sofa (almost like he was watching tv with them). Next thing I know all hell breaks loose. Shyt being thrown, kids screaming and running. Now as a mother I go into hyper mode and scream, “What?!” Their all running and jumping in place in the living room pointing to the sofa where this spider has propped himself. I was so angry at them acting like damn fools, but they’re kids so they get a pass. I grab a broom and smack the spider, sweep him up, and throw his remains outside. Y’all are just pitiful. Pitiful I say. lmao
damn the spiders…all of em.
“Like, I remember this traumatic experience when this woman saw a big azz spider and immediately ran behind me for protection. B*tch, I’m scared of spiders too!! The f*ck you want me to do about it?!?!”
Thank you, sir! I can always count on you for my laugh. Lmao.
Of course you laugh at my pain you cruel, cruel person! It’s okay to laugh at my legitmately traumatic, apocalyptic, nightmare-inducing, made-me-have-to-pull-out-the ol’-Nite-Light situation. Because I’m a man.
However, I get called an azzhole when I yell “TIIIMBER!” while my girlfriend (now an ex) was falling down a flight of stairs at school.
Lol…nah I’m bullsh!ttin’. We were at the movie theatre.
But still, a pure, saintly, virginal, innocent guy like me shouldn’t have to go through this torment!
dude im so with you on this one. i’ll kill it…but internally i’m hoping the motherf*cker will just keel over or somehow disappear…never to be seen again.
[{Like, I remember this traumatic experience when this woman saw a big azz spider and immediately ran behind me for protection. B*tch, I’m scared of spiders too!! The f*ck you want me to do about it?!?!]
I’m laughing at you right now….
….and yet, for some unfathomable reason, turned on. Hmmm….
She did mention that Scrappy Doo left her when she needed him the most to go out clubbing….when she lost their first child. Tit for tat if you ask me.
My verdict: Scrappy can get over it.
I forgot abt that! That Ninja ain’t right!
Ya, I heard that piece too.
Damn, thats ice cold. Why are these people even together?
so retribution is a legit defense when somebody needs to go to the hospital b/c they can’t breathe?
that’s what you’re telling me, right?
If you jump out in front of a car, no bystander is required to save your reckless azz. He was intentionally reckless and didn’t care for his own health. That is what he gets.
lol. ok. that’s some bullsh*t. but okay.
the proper response there is take them to the hospital THEN scold them.
so let me ask you a complete hypothetical…if he had died…would you say, well, damn he should have been drinking?
“You’re an asthmatic; you have asthma attacks.” -Erica. That there sums it up then.
On the one hand, he’s here rubbing up on some other broad’s legs and ass, but talking about “you should’ve been there, you left me for dead.” Why not call that broad? She said she was your best friend and sh*t, and she obviously has time on her hands so… Also, let’s be real, Love and Hip-hop checks ain’t gonna last forever; she’s got a daughter to look out for because (apparently/allegedly) Luh Scrappeh doesn’t pay his child support. In such case, he wants her to make sure he’s okay, but he’s not sending any money her way to make sure their daughter is okay? Right…
In his defense, “near death” is the best way to find out who’s there for you and who isn’t and by her leaving him at that point shows she’s in the “isn’t” pile. But I side with Erica simply because he hasn’t shown he knows how to really be there for her. Sure he “fought” with Steebie J and whatever, but when it counts, where is he? That’s all I’m sayin…
My sentiments exactly
“Sure he “fought†with Steebie J and whatever”
Which I’m not convinced was so much about her as it was protecting his rep as “Prince of Atlanta”… a rep I don’t even buy but che sara sara…
And he “checked” Steevo because his mama hyped him up. His mama is pushing him to all the wrong decisions, LOL.
if he COULD call her maybe he would have.
he couldn’t breathe. lol.
Text message that homewrecka!
you need a hug.
Ok I watch L&HHATL and I think you’re making Scrappy out to be more of a saint than he is. First he got an asthma attack because he was up in the club acting a fool. Erica left him to go to work because this Ninja ain’t got no money and isn’t paying child support but wants to pop bottles and floss like he’s rich. She is the one supporting her child so she had to go to work.
From the confessional you can tell she dealt with his disregard for his own health and she’s just tired of it. Plus I believe she’s still resentful of how he played her and cheated on her. Scrappy is dog and I have no sympanthy for him.
Men like him and Quincy gets no sympanthy from me. They want their women’s life to be centered around their needs but don’t want to reciprocated. Women have lives outside their relationship with their men.
+1
i dont think Scrap is a saint. hell that doesnt even matter.
the ninja was in need of sincere help and she didn’t care. that’s human decency. she resents him obviously but that aint no excuses to be like, “f*ck your couch”
i dont care if you recklessly throw knives and you got stabbed by one. get me to the hospital and be mad at me later. not first.
I don’t watch Love and Hip Hop. I see the commercials and all, but the show does not intrigue me. Now, that said, if I forgot to be there, there is a reason I forgot to be there. Like, you really weren’t worth being there for and I really don’t f’n care about you. I could probably care enough about you because you my baby’s daddy and all, but depends on how the relationship has progressed.
Story time! LOL My ex was in a car accident one day. We’d been divorced for a little over a year. He gives the hospital my cell phone number as an emergency contact. The emergency room nurse calls me and tells me he’s at the hospital. I pack up the kids and go to the hospital. WHY?! I have no phucking idea now. I get there and he introduces me as his wife to the staff and they ask me to fill out the paper work. About a half hour later, his gf shows up and the nurse comes back to the room looking hella confused saying there is a woman in the waiting room asking about him. I was like, “Why the phuck you gonna call me?!” I went out to the waiting room and told the biotch to get to stepping. Yeah, it was a scene. I took the ex home and dropped his arse. That’s where gf picked up. The next day I got a call from his job looking for him. I told the person that called, “I don’t know anything about him and please don’t call me again. The only time I wanna know anything about that mofo is when he’s dead.” End call.
So, I guess I cared enough because of the kids mind you to at least go to the hospital to check on him. But, I didn’t care enough to take care of his arse after dropping him at his house. If I forget to be there, well, then you just aren’t high on my list of valuables.
You went above and beyond the call of duty…especially considering he was your ex. You tell the most interesting stories!
Awww… thanks. I’m glad someone enjoys reading about my phucked up life.
your situation is a little different, though the point is the same.
i do believe you went above and beyond.
You went above and beyond. You could’ve just told them on the phone you were divorced and all you needed to know was if he was dead. But because of the kids, you went to the ER to see about him.
Yeah, I know. I guess I thought well we’re in this city with no other family and ‘we’ (the kids) were his family. I do a lot of things I regret because I cared.
Maybe someday I can be a psychopath without a conscience just like him. O_o
Every time I watch “Love and Basketball” I always try to picture how it would be if the roles were reversed. Would Quincy REALLY break curfew for a chance to start? Most likely not, as he was under pressure from his NBA father, and can’t get drafted if he isn’t seen etc. They actually needed each other in that moment. He needed her to be there for him, and she needed him to understand that her career potentially hung on whether or not she made curfew that night.
With Scrappy… I totally get where he is coming from, but at least she made an attempt to make sure that he was taken care of. Maybe she was on some final written warning at work, (I don’t know too many places where you can call-out with the “my BOYFRIEND is __________” excuse, ninja usually has to be a hubby or child for that to fly). Perhaps she gave it serious thought and concluded that if she lost her job taking care of him, that he may not return the favor and take care of her (especially since he already had a side jawn).
” Perhaps she gave it serious thought and concluded that if she lost her job taking care of him, that he may not return the favor and take care of her”
+ 1
Yea she made the right call.
Where were y’all 2 years ago? I could have used the advice then. LOL
“Perhaps she gave it serious thought and concluded that if she lost her job taking care of him, that he may not return the favor and take care of her…”
And he was already not taking care of her. She has a child to feed.
“I totally get where he is coming from, but at least she made an attempt to make sure that he was taken care of.”
Cosign, she did exactly the same thing he did to her when she lost their 1st child, he left one of his homeboys there to look after her.
She called the same homeboy to come and take him to the hospital….
maybe that’s their love language. *shrug*
in reverse…if AT LEAST made sureyou go to the hospital…would you be okay with that?
in terms of Quincy and Monica…flip the situations and i do think he might stay and try to convince his coach that he missed curfew for a good reaosn. could be male privelege. i dont know.
also, Q wasnt under pressure from his father to get drafted. his dad DIDNT want him to enter the draft.
How do you know a man is lying… his mouth is open.
A guy can say he will do X,Y, and Z… but they rarely do. What men *say* should never be something a woman counts on… only what they do.
And in this situation… with Q, he *shows* he doesn’t care about her passions if he wants to her soothe his ego while she misses her one opportunity to play starter. He can get a phone call from her… it was hardly life or death. He *showed* her he didn’t give a damn about her dreams and passions.
you know…for all the hell you gave Black Medici the other day, you’re basically the female counterpart of what you think he is.
*imagines those two in a relationship*
Support & being there for someone in a relationship is a two-way street, and some ninjas are turning them into one-way alleys. Case in point: my childhood friend & her baby daddy. They have 2 kids together and the last one has been in & out of the hospital due to him being born premature. The last time he went was for a bad respiratory infection, and the poor little guy was in there for quite some time. I can honestly say that during that time the dad spent 2 or 3 nights @ the hospital w/him and the mother, yet he is always complaining about her not supporting him (in what I have no clue, his ass doesn’t work/have any legitimate side hustle) and being there when he needs her. If anything, she needs someone there to support her emotionally & financially and he is not cutting it in either department. I’ve tried, but that ish is draining and I will not be taking on his responsibilities. All of that to say, don’t complain about how your significant other/parent of your child isn’t there for you when you’re not doing the same.
Not no, but HELL NO! This is irresponsible journalism at its finest Panama. All the facts aren’t there.
1. Scrappy moved out on Erica after she took him back when he left her for Diamond
2. Scrappy had already moved on from the relationship. His “you should have been there” ploy was him turning the situation on Erica so he would look like the bad guy. He was rubbing down Buckey and that terrible wig of hers in a prior episode.
3. He has asthma so he will have asthma attacks. Suck on that inhaler and shut up.
4. When was Scrappy’s last hit song or album? (Don’t worry I’ll wait) Bills need to be paid and there is a child to feed. Erica is in the studio trying to make an entertainment career based off no talent (I’m looking at you Joseline). She has a REAL job.
I’m all for loyalty but not everyone deserves your loyalty. One of the worst feelings is being loyal to someone who isn’t being loyal to you. Talk about feeling dumb.
*That should read “Erica is NOT in the studio…”
“I’m all for loyalty but not everyone deserves your loyalty. One of the worst feelings is being loyal to someone who isn’t being loyal to you.” PREACH!!!!
All this.
“One of the worst feelings is being loyal to someone who isn’t being loyal to you.”
Cosign. I’ve definitely been there before; and it ain’t sweet.
you’re right. maybe everybody doesnt deserve your loyalty, that’s fine.
but this…you have asthma. suck on your inhaler and shut up…just shows that you dont know anybody with asthma.
i may have gotten the facts wrong (like i said, i aint seen but those two episodes), but y’all are just cold.
First off, I despise this show for everything it’s worth. It reeks of high levels of ratchetocity.
Second, and more importantly, if Scrappy cheated on Erica, what loyalty does he feel like he’s entitled to? Granted, life and death is still life and death, but she did make sure he made it to the hospital safely. And given that Erica actually works and Scrappy…..does what for a living, again?……Can’t side with Scrap on this one. Cheating is cheating.
“He has asthma so he will have asthma attacks. Suck on that inhaler and shut up.”
should of been a reply to Mel (signs I need to go to bed)
“This reminds me of Love & Basketball where Quincy took a step back from Monica (same thing Scrappy is doing) because “she forgot to be there†when he needed her most.”
I love this movie but this scene never sits right with me. Mostly because “being there” is mostly semantics.
I mean, we were supposed to believe that Quincy loved basketball just as much as Monica yet didn’t have to fight as much as her do he wouldn’t fully understand her need to get home before curfew anyway.
That being said, WHY does her being there mean she had to be there physically? She couldn’t sit on the phone with him from her dorm? Maybe that’s just be but I don’t count support as what’s only convenient for me. Support can mean someone just lending an ear or hyping me up or just sitting there with me in silence. It’s by one or other for me, it’s all of those. All them are forms of support. And equally appreciated.
Anyway. The point is…
ERICA LEFF SCRAPPY FUH DED!
This damn autocorrect, yo.
*do should be “so”
*be should be “me.”
*by should be “one” (NO CLUE HOW THIS ONE HAPPENED)
I’ve never watched Love & Basketball. Nevertheless, base on the details I read…How disappointing of Quincy taking a step back from Monica because she didn’t want to diminish her chance of accomplishing something important to her in this manner.
“That being said, WHY does her being there mean she had to be there physically? She couldn’t sit on the phone with him from her dorm?Maybe that’s just be but I don’t count support as what’s only convenient for me. Support can mean someone just lending an ear or hyping me up or just sitting there with me in silence.” I agree Cheekie.
You NEVER watched Love & Basketball?!?!?!?!? It’s a classic!!!! You really have to see that movie.
Is it Keisha? I’ll try it someday.
If it’s anything like the drama Around 40 where this lovely-successful-passionate-never married woman, who very much wants to marry and have children, meets this wonderful-successful-passionate-never married 35 year old man. She asks him to go out with her, and he agrees. They are very compatible. Consequently, he asks her to marry him, and she agrees. Then, he gets the opportunity to fulfill one of his biggest dreams in a place far away from where they currently reside. He asks her to move away with him and start their family. He even offers her a new job where she can continue to put her psychiatrist skills to excellent use at this dreamlike center. She says yes. Soon after, the old and the new owner, who are in charge of the hospital branch where she works, beg her to improve/save & occupy the top spot of the hospital, which is one of her biggest dream, plus, her loving family lives nearby. What does she decide? Is she satisfied/content/happy with her final decision? This couple is only one of four couples with different and really well developped story lines. I thoroughly enjoyed this one
.
Yeah, Fleur you should check out Love & Basketball… it’s a great love story about friends (and that friendship evolving into more) and the parallels made between love AND basketball are brilliant to me.
I agree!
“That being said, WHY does her being there mean she had to be there physically? She couldn’t sit on the phone with him from her dorm? Maybe that’s just be but I don’t count support as what’s only convenient for me. Support can mean someone just lending an ear or hyping me up or just sitting there with me in silence.”
Exactly.
“Maybe that’s just be but I don’t count support as what’s only convenient for me.”
Right! Which makes me feel like Quincy wanted Monica to suffer…..because he was suffering. Taking out his frustrations ON her. If he TRULY wanted her to be there for him, he would have compromised by going to her dorm with her or talking on the phone.
he didnt want her to suffer. lol. wtf? he wanted her to be there with him. it wasnt about suffering.
if we flipped that around would you say that a woman wanted her man to suffer b/c she was suffering…
oh…right. nevermind. lol.
“he didnt want her to suffer. lol. wtf? he wanted her to be there with him. it wasnt about suffering.”
Soooooooo……..let me get this straight…..He knew that if she did not make curfew it would likely stall her opportunities on the team (and he knew how difficult of a time she was having)…….and he did not give a sh*t. And that’s ok?? Wow….when I go through things, I should start expecting everyone to abandon their responsibilities….not matter what it will cost them. Compromise much, Panama? smh : )
“if we flipped that around would you say that a woman wanted her man to suffer b/c she was suffering…”
This comment has been returned to you to give to someone who is constantly ranting about man vs. women. I would feel the EXACT same way if the situation were reverse. So, THERE! lol
“That being said, WHY does her being there mean she had to be there physically?”
Quite easy, actually. Support is not about convience, but about actually feeling like someone had your back. It’s not up to YOU, the person who’s supposed to be doing the supporting, to decide that your “support” is good enough. Plain and simple. If I’m in the hospital and I want you to be there, but instead you decide not to show and send me a “get well soon” text, I still have the right to be angry. Maybe the reason why I wanted you to be there physically is because I wanted to touch you, looking at you face to face gave me comfort, etc. These are things talking on the phone/texting don’t accomplish.
Point is, support is doing whatever (barring extreme examples), that person wants to make them feel better. If they need you to be there physically, comply. Support is all about putting the other person’s feelings before your own, because you don’t know what’s going on with them mentally.
But at the same time, I’m one who appreciates genuine support when given. No matter if it is IDEAL support or not. And if he wanted to touch her, again she gave him the option of going to her room. Saying that her definition of support wasn’t enough is supremely unfair given that she didn’t just brush him off for basketball, she actually gave other options. And you know… showed the concern he felt she didn’t have.
Also, when someone is going through something you can’t completely offer anything more than you can give anyway. Like let’s say when someone’s parent’s die. There is NEVER a definite means of support because the one who wants to support their loved one always struggles with the right means of support. Sometimes we don’t know exactly what they need (and sometimes it’s impossible for us to give them exactly what they need) but we try our best to support them as best we can. And that effort, to me at least, is always appreciated.
Yes, she did offer for him to back to her room, for HER convience. That’s the point. To him, it sounded like she was basically saying, “Alright well that sucks and all, but I got a game tomorrow. So I can feel sorry for you and offer my support and whatnot, but only under my rules. If not, we’ll tackle your problem some other time when my schedule is clear. Oh and by the way…I start tomorrow! Come watch me and give me your support!” (Which is actually what happened in the movie if I recall.
Besides, people, women included, deal with IDEALS all the time. I’m pretty sure, that if for Valentimes Day (yes, that’s right) you’d be jaded as sh!t if your man gave you one flower and gave/did nothing else, as opposed to something you actually desired. No matter how genuine the intention behind giving you that single flower, you’d still be mad if you didn’t have what you consider to be an IDEAL Valentimes Day.
Yeah, you’re seeing it as her just doing it for her convenience where as I’m seeing it as her coming up with more possibilities and offering the exact physical support he wanted but in way that wouldn’t lead her to getting in trouble (something I’d think he’d care about too). Again, I don’t see why it’s gotta be an either or thing or why her coming up with other means of support (simply just changing scenery) means she was only looking out for herself instead of what it actually was… her caring enough to even STILL show support.
I guess for men who constantly want women to acknowledge the means in way they support them instead of always saying they ain’t ish, I’m finding it hard to understand why folks can’t understand Monica’s plight just as much as Quincy’s. But, gon’ head and cook. lol
and ANOTHER THING, (sorry I’m having flashbacks), so what if she wasn’t there that ONE time? Does that one time negate everything else she was there for? Does that one time of her not being there overshadow EVERYTHING she has put up with or done for this negro? WHERE IS HIS LOYALTY?
The person you love will ultimately disappoint you in some way, shape or form. Do you throw your entire relationship out the window because of one discretion? In my experiences a woman will continuously take the disappointments her mate doles out time and time again. While a man on the other hand has a “one and done” mentality. One time to fcuk up and it’s a wrap for that relationship.
His loyalty is somewhere in the vicinity of Bucky’s booty – cause it definitely isn’t with his fans… (your last album was WHEN?)
Or in that creature that sits upon the top of her head.
Does that one time of her not being there overshadow EVERYTHING she has put up with or done for this negro? WHERE IS HIS LOYALTY?
Yes! This is the real question. I could understand if something like this consistently happened but should you base your decision on leaving someone off one incident
I feel so proud that I have no idea who Scrappy and Erica are. But, any woman dating a man named “Scrappy” should definitely ditch him in emergency situations.
^ all of this ^
SHE got with a rapper named Scrappy. that’s her fault. not his.
lol maybe not. they could have been together before his career
And regarding Love and Basketball; If Quincy really loved her he wouldn’t want her to miss curfew.
Right. Selfish ninja.
He was an existential crisis! haha. That was more of the catalyst than anything though because she did consistently put basketball above any and everything else. The story and characters weren’t fleshed out enough though so I don’t even know if dude would of done the same. Philosophically he was correct, but the right real world decision was for her to go back to her dorm.
That’s the thing with this situation because he wouldn’t have had to worry so much about it as much as she had anyway. He was ALREADY a star as a freshie whereas she had to work extra hard to prove herself. And the game she didn’t want to miss was THEE game she had to prove herself if I’m not mistaken.
Anyway, it didn’t have to be an “either or” with regards to her being there. Plus she offered to go back to her room with him… and I’m sure he wanted to be alone but there were so many ways around them just sitting on the bleachers in order for her to show support. The bottom line is he was angry and confused about relationships and general since the one man he looked up to betrayed his mother so he would’ve found another reason to push Monica away, regardless.
I’m going to have to agree. He shouldn’t have put her in that spot. She’s a freshman who was drawing heat from her coach. He knows what that was like. They could have gone back to their dorms and picked up the phone. Life was kicking his a$$ and instead of being logical he acted like a petulant child. If I’m having a bad night what the hell do I look like getting pissed at my woman for not being there when she works nights.
Exactly
” If I’m having a bad night what the hell do I look like getting pissed at my woman for not being there when she works nights”
Thank you ~JS
@CNotes @Jhane Sez
If me and my her are team I just can’t justify putting her in a bad position. If we’re both down on our a$$ we’re ineffective and that’s not helping anyone.
“If I’m having a bad night what the hell do I look like getting pissed at my woman for not being there when she works nights.”
Hallelujerrr
you’re making it way too simplistic. that dude had his ENTIRE world shaken up. everything he held high and his entire reason for trying so hard was removed from him. the man was broken down to his vulnerable core and the one person he wanted to be there more than anythign else was like…yo, son…gotta go.
Ya’ll on some revisionist history like a mug. She didn’t just say, welp gotta go! She did offer other means of support (support in which she woulda been there in the EXACT manner she woulda been on the bleachers… just woulda been a change of scenery) but he shut her down. Which to me, tells me he was gonna push her away regardless of what she did that night. He was jaded about relationships in general because the one relationship he looked up to turned out to be a sham in his eyes.
Y’all acting like she was a 110% girlfriend who was ALWAYS there for him except for in that one instance when even the character admitted she wasn’t ever really there in the relationship. Straws and camels.
You acting like defending this ONE situation equals me defending every other time they got into an argument.. i.e. “making” her the perfect girlfriend.
We are talking about this ONE situation right? Right. Not sure how I’m also bunching up every other time into this one at all. lol
Also, they BOTH had hindsight in that scene. He admitted he woulda pushed her away regardless. Again, I’m not saying that I don’t understand Quincy’s being upset, but I’m also not down with labeling Monica as someone who didn’t even show ANY support? Nawl, homie.
And it’s not like ninjas can’t relate to Monica too here. Ninjas always have gripes about what’s it like to “never be enough” with women as well, so…
Yeah but that is also her life dream… if she doesn’t prove herself she won’t get another chance. His life will go on… his situation won’t be different in the morning… or the next day or the next week…
If he cared about her, he’d support her dreams.
But, Panama, his world shattering situation was still going to be there in the morning. If she had stayed with him though, her basketball career was going to be severely impacted. At a certain point, even through his pain, he should have manned-up and told her she needed to go to her dorm and that they could talk in the morning. Love is wanting the best for the person you love.
y’all kill me with the “your problem will still be ther ein the morning…go to sleep and let’s talk about it then…”
i’m going to ask this and i mean it…when has ANY woman EVER accepted that as a legit way to handle another priority.
i wish i WOULD tell a woman that i have something else to do than deal with some serious issue she has. you will of course tell me right now that she should understand…and you will all be full of sh*t if you actually think that would fly.
Here Here! Seriously though, I’ve been in both situations more times than I can count and have been shafted both ways. I’ve had career critical things that I’ve taken the L on to tend to a partner’s concerns and I’ve also been seriously left hanging by another partner. What I’ve learned is that as a man, what I’ve learned that taking the L in those situations is just what you’re supposed to do…
We might just have to disagree on this one, PJ. I think that as grown-ups there are times when we cannot be there in the exact way that our significant other wants us to be. That doesn’t diminish our love or concern, it’s just how life is once we begin to set goals and have responsibilities.
But, I have a really strong feeling that had you been in this situation you would have told her to go to her dorm and not miss curfew. Am I wrong?
Actually, I would understand. PJax, I think you’re jaded with this situation. Who hurt you?????
It happened recently for me.
I didn’t get into my dream grad school. I was crushed. I walked the streets sipping a different martini at four different bars.
I called my boyfriend and asked him to come over so we can both wallow in my pain. He had a huge deposition to oversee in the morning. I mean he could’ve come over and risked waking up looking like shit, but he explained his pressing obligations and offered to make a picnic for Saturday at one of our favorite parks.
My thing is sincerity… I was completely fine with meeting Saturday, because it showed he still cared. Sanaa’s character was not “Sorry about that, but I start tomorrow, so can you chill with the crying.” She was completely supportive and offered other avenues of support.
I won’t say it’s male and female thing, but it is a maturity thing to realize even in your duress, the sincerity and others AND their responsibilities as well.
The world can’t stop because you’re sad, but you should be appreciative when people do their damdnest to meet their personal obligations and your sad sad melodrams.
VH1 is going to be the death of the Black community…and we’ll all see it coming, because we’ll all be watching. With that said, I’d like to share my ‘you forgot to be there’ story. Or should I say ‘you chose not to be there’.
Back in 2004, I was stationed in Okinawa, and awaiting a major back surgery. When I finally got my surgery date, I let my then-wife know that I’d need her around because I’d pretty much be bedridden for a good period of time. ‘Why did you have to tell her that you’d need her to be there’, you ask? She liked to come back stateside to visit her family on the regular. About every 3 months, to be exact. Two weeks before surgery day….and she insists on going to New York. Not wanting to fuss with her anymore, I sent her, and had my 8-hour surgery. She called the hospital to check on me very late in the night after my surgery…..and I proceeded to cuss her out for an hour for not being there with me. In my defense, I don’t recall this happening (morphine and hydrocodone AT THE SAME DAMN TIME), and the only reason I’m aware of the call is because she decided she wanted to cuss me up and down for cussing her out. I only had these words to say after she was finished…’Why’d you listen for a whole hour without hanging up the phone?’
She stayed on the phone for an hour because she was being there for you….and needed ammunition for a counter-curse the next day.
LOL…true!
I see that I didn’t clarify when she cussed me out. Posting in the middle of the night is not the best idea. She went to the states two weeks before my surgery, and didn’t come back until three weeks afterwards. I guess that while I’m sort of glad that she called, I rather would have had her actually be there physically. But it was what it was. And yes, I remarried.
just stop. lol.
I lived in Okinawa for five years and loved every minute! Kinda surprised your wife went home that often…and decided not to be there for your surgery…that sucks. You said your “then-wife”…did you remarry?
damn dog. lol. thats tough.
Hey, it was what it was.
Scrappy is a big old mommas boy! She got him spoiled rotten. What a big baby! So erica called him a ride instead of driving him to the hospital herself? Cry me a river. He shoulda thought of that when he was rubbing lotion on that bust down. FOH. Plus erica had to work! SOMEBODYS gotta make some bread, cuz scrappy aint had a hit in, well, ever! I cant give anymore thoughts to these half wits rite now. I got my own dang problems. Nite nite yall.
you know what…did she actually call him a ride? cuz that would make it more f*cked up. i thought the dude was there, but then again, why would he be there.
ninjas with asthma, every second feels liek an hour and you gon’ make the ninja WAIT?!??? that’s even more f*cked up.
Last time I checked scrappy’s career was in the toilet bowl so she probably chose to go to work cause she needs her job. Not to mention we don’t know how many times he has disappointed her. Personally I think she’s tired and fed up with him and that just made the decision to leave even easier. Men understand if you keep disappointing and hurting your woman eventually her give a ish levels going to drop dramatically. Sorry Panama Monica made the right choice to leave Q that night.
She stated she needed her job and he wasn’t paying child support. In another preview he seems to confirm this by saying something about her “helping him out” with the support, like either he wasn’t paying or not paying the full amount.
“Maybe women deal with disappointment so much from us that they lose expectations anyway of us being there. But women so rarely disappoint us (does this make up for Monday?) that when you all do, we take it extra hard”
I remember hearing something like this in the intro of the movie “Not Easily Broken ” It still infuriates me now like it did then. Men and women both expect things from each other
Stupid phone, accidentally hit post! ANYWays, Those expectations are not as common to the other person as we would expect, and when one doesn’t come through like WE THINK THEY SHOULD they lose points. And then we believe we justified to do whatever as a result. It sux, and it just comes down to being mature and letting a persons actions be their voice. If a man don’t cal, don’t give the level attention u want, check itself first to see if ur expectations are real, then go judging dude, same with women for men. old girl us not your mama, and dude is not that guy u loved from that movie in ur head!!! SMH
Hmm…how ironic that this post about a very specific episode of a VH1 episode of a ratchet reality show in which a black woman neglects her neglectful child’s father in an emergency when there was current news headline this past week about a “famous”/infamous black woman who saved her black boyfriend’s life: that would be the reality show Omarosa Mani…(whatever I hate her full name) providing CPR on beau Michael Clarke Duncan (what is up with these name) after he suffered a heart attack. This blog is the ultimate example of perception vs. reality. Now maybe you didn’t hear or forgot about the Michael Clarke Duncan tragedy but it makes you wonder as fractured as black male and black female relations are, how many black men will use the Love & Hip Hop ratchetness (and possibly staged reality) to continue to dog black women. The proof is in the stats married men live longer and are a lot more healthier than single which is another possible reason why black men (who marry the least) and white men have such a wide gulf in health disparities. It’s that constant nagging and prodding for you to get a check-up. Esquire magazine earlier this year results of it’s annual Sex Survey of Men that concluded that black men (based on their responses) probably had the most dissatisfied partners in comparison to other races of men. Now maybe the study was just plain out racist or an example of confirmation bias. But again if black men need a reason why flying straight is necessary it’s for your own health. My father battled prostate cancer a couple of year’s ago and while I was fearful for his life I couldn’t help but think about the hell he reigned on our family as a child. So, yes, I’ll admit I was firmly of two minds during his battle: you’re my father but hmm…
And has anyone been watching another prime time reality show on ABC with Dr. Oz? I think it was the premiere episode but Dr. Oz had an older black male patient he was going to operate on who planned to come in alone. But Dr. Oz refused because he wanted that patient to have at least one family or friend there to provide emotional support. Guess whose number the ninja gave…his ex-wife (black woman) and she obliged and even asked Dr. Oz post-op if he’d still be able to get down. Apparently, they get it in once in a while. So a true VSB will save his own life by finding the right woman and treating her right.
Btw, Michael Clarke Duncan “remains on a hospital respirator but is showing signs of progress.”
I hadn’t heard this story! I’m glad she stepped in and did what needed to be done….that makes me look at ol’ Omarosa in a completely different light.
And *head nod* to the rest of your comment. All of this x 1,000,000!
“So a true VSB will save his own life by finding the right woman and treating her right.”
+1000
I think that sistas are so imperceptible in the lives of brothas, they take for granted and feel entitled to the benefits of our love and loyalty and only really notice when its not available.
A place to stay, a meal, a hug, an ear, a cell phone hook up, hair braided, cpr…
Instead of blanket appreciation, there is a faction quick act like petulant children demanding more.
Next time just say thanks because there is an army of sistas out there that brothas owe their lives to ~JS
Thank you Jhane. Thank you.
I have to say that is a pretty one sided view. Not saying there isn’t any truth too it, but do women always appreciate everything men do for them?
I would say everything on your list “A place to stay, a meal, a hug, an ear, a cell phone hook up, hair braided, cpr…” are things men would be expected to provide women as a matter of course in a relationship. The ground rules for showing we care are magnitudes greater if you really want to do a comparison. I think an argument that Panama made that is dead on and largely being ignored here is that men determine a woman’s loyalty in large part in dire situations when we really need you to be there.
You could extend that logic to say that women demand innumerable small decelerations of affection that run the gamut. The same could be said of friendships. I don’t judge mine based on how frequently I speak to the person, but who I know to call when I really need them.
“So a true VSB will save his own life by finding the right woman and treating her right.â€
I’m here for this.
I heard about Omarosa protecting Michael Clarke Duncan’s life. She did well, too.
Thank you! Speaking the truth!
“And has anyone been watching another prime time reality show on ABC with Dr. Oz? I think it was the premiere episode but Dr. Oz had an older black male patient he was going to operate on who planned to come in alone. But Dr. Oz refused because he wanted that patient to have at least one family or friend there to provide emotional support. Guess whose number the ninja gave…his ex-wife (black woman) and she obliged and even asked Dr. Oz post-op if he’d still be able to get down. Apparently, they get it in once in a while”
I saw that episode.
So… Panama shouldn’t pick out certain instances to illustrate a general observation he had about how men and women interact (or how black women treat men from your perspective) because it could be interpreted as a negative against black men, but your non seqtuitur about black mens’ sexual partners and other isolated instances that put individual black men in a bad light is cool?
Can we please stay away from the “studies” about the desirability or satisfaction of black men or women as partners, especially to tear each other down? This sword cuts both ways (probably sharper on you end even though you’re wielding it) and those studies are usually filled with caveats and inaccuracies.
And seriously, a little bit of abstract thought goes a long way. This post was in no way about women (black or otherwise) not being there for men through health issues.
ain’t nobody dogging Black women with this. i’m presenting a point. and its being soundly beaten down. calm down. lol.
in terms of Omarosa, i hadn’t heard that story. but i do think thats great and he should be glad that sh ewas there for them.
Dear God please heal Michael Clarke Duncan.
AMEN!
hmm…the timing of this post is perfect for the situation Im in. I dumped this man for not being there for me when I needed him the most. Now we’re trying to rekindle the relationship based on his promise that he will do things differently because after 2 1/2 years apart and a child he realizes that Im the woman he wants to be with. Two weeks in this , Im restless and can’t wait for a move in either direction..ahh I think I need to re-read this when I sober up..
@berbere im going to tell you this as nicely as i can. Unless he is showing you he wants to be with you, not just saying it, leave him alone!!!!!!!
yeah, I hear ya..Im curious to hear how else would you say it,lol
I started to write something else but decided to erase it…..I just forgot to erase the first part of the statement as well.
My best friend was kinda in the same situation and I was really very brutal with the advice I gave her (Thai mother brutal)……..I realized after that I was basically being a huuuuge bitch and what she needed was a friend and not what I gave her. Im slowly trying to get back into the good graces of “the good friend gods”
Yes!
Judge a man by his actions, not his promises.
“You better love me or leave me alone….”
- Brand Nubian
Good morning panama,
Excellent topic-and comes at a time in my own life when such a thing couldnt be more prescient.
Allow me to give my take and explain what i mean.
I recently came at a crossroads with someone i considered a friend recently. There were a number of differences we simply couldnt reconcile, the biggest one being that not only was she white, but that she was from the upper middle class to boot. Simply put there were life questions and issues that, while of pressing import for me, simply wasnt a consideration for her. While i cant fault her for that, i couldnt stifle what i knew to be true for me and mine; and so i stepped off.
That revelation however, led me to yet another (as searching for the truth often does whether you want it to or not): that not only do we black folk HAVE to consider things the vast majority of whites never even think about-especially the upper 10% of em-but that perhaps among these is the sobering fact that, very often-more often than we as black folk may not wish to publicly admit-we sistas and brothas often have not just different life goals and visions; but CONFLICTING ONES in ways that, for whatever reason, isnt an (or as big of a) issue for white folk. In fact, i think it is this, more than anything else, that really lay at the root of so much “stuff & noise” we make and that surrounds the seemingly neverending drama of “black relationships” that has become a cottage industry for so many people at this point.
What has exacerbated all of this over the past generation or so, is the fact that black women, like all american women, have had more opportunity than ever to actualize themselves and fulfill their desires/dreams. In so many ways, if there is a such thing as a big winner of the last two great american social movements-civil rights and womens rights-black women are it. Even a casual perusal of the data bears this out. As a result, black women have a view of the world and a psychological outlook that in my view many if not most black men simply do not share, or much of if at all; i call it, please forgive me, the ms ann theory. What is the ms ann theory?
The ms ann theory is a psychological adaptation, an outlook on the world as the result of the aforemention realworld developments of 60s and 70s going right up through the 80s and 90s, that allowed black women to get a real sense not only of what the broader world looked like, but also gave them a real sense that they had a place in it. When you really think about it, it makes perfect sense, and explains so much as to why black women approach the “white world” as they do. After all, there is a measurable, realworld payoff for them doing so.
Black men, on the other hand, cannot as easily say this is the case for them-and since this is a forum that caters to the college educated, perhaps this point is even sharper. Because while it is not openly articulated by black men, they know that their gambles on education and the like are just that-gambles. Often ones that they lose, due to racial, not necessarily racist (though that is certainly possible) factors often beyond their control. Unlike black women for whom “the rules” and playing by them can and often do work, black men cannot be so sure; look at the way the current potus is and has been treated almost from day one. His every move scrutinized the nth degree, the constant murmuing about his “qualifications”, his very personhood questioned to this day; oprah never got that kind of microscopic treatment. Do not think for one moment that obamas ordeals have been or are lost on black men in aggregate; they/we most definitely are taking notice, and only goes to reinforce what weve always known-that even if you “play by the rules” you can and will be perceived as persona non grata-and that cant help but result in certain psychological adaptations, certain outlooks on life, that can and often does collide with the life aims visions and goals so many black women have.
What does all of this have to do with the tv show youre discussing? Well-aside from the fact that i dont watch tv-the point is that black women have every right to prioritize their lives as they see fit. While it may be a nice or even great and beautiful thing to see a black man and woman on the same page, the plain truth of it is that often, they are not, and this is in part largely due to the aforementioned factors. Neither i, nor any black man, can really be mad for sistas doin what they feel they must and want to do with their own lives. Just as they cant be mad at us for doing the same.
The big takeaway from your scenario panama, is that black men have to come to grips with a cold, hard fact: that in the end, the only one who can and will lookout for us, is us.
And in the end, maybe thats not such a bad thing.
Now adjourn your arses…
O.
“Neither i, nor any black man, can really be mad for sistas doin what they feel they must and want to do with their own lives. Just as they cant be mad at us for doing the same.”
And you know what, I’m inclined to agree with you. But the last sentence in this quote is where things get messy. Many women DO chastise us for not putting them first. If we don’t, we get called sexist, insensitive, hear phrases like “chilvary is dead!”, have our respect for our mothers questioned, the whole nine.
I used to hear something similar to this quote growing up, “The biggest mistake a man can make, is giving another man the chance to make his woman smile.”
Society says we are to put our women first, no matter what, even in the most trivial of things, such as, when walking alongside her, walking on the side closest to the street so that she doesn’t get splashed when a car hits a puddle. Or worse, if a car jumps the sidewalk, it hits and kills me, leaving her (mostly) unscathed.
Officially de-lurking……just to comment
TUK, I think what you are missing about putting your woman first is that you are ONLY putting her physical being 1st. You are quick to make sure that your woman is properly breathing ( after the Final Destination car wreck), but oblivious to her if she was emotionally suffocating ( or that her goals/aspirations are taking a backseat).You make no mention of emotionally supporting her and honestly ( I commend you) admitting that if her school/career conflicted with your relationship, you would leave.
That’s why folks are saying Monica should have left. She WAS there to support him and he DECLINED the offer to go to the room. He, like Scrappy, failed to comprehend the magnitude of Monica and Erica’s sacrifices, and was willing to put their temporary needs (self-inflicted asthma attacks, crushed childhood memories) above their permanent choices ( Job, WNBA).
And yes, missing curfew IS that serious, especially for the non-franchise player.
self-inflicted asthma attack is a not quite accurate statement.
in fact…this ninja was in bed. so he made it home okay. then somehow woke up and its self-inflicted just cuz she said it was caused b/c he got drunk at the club?
come on.
Yes, come on. The ignorance about asthma continues…..
Panama and AWE, I’ll agree that “self-inflicted asthma” is a bit harsh. I was not trying to downplay the severity of Asthma, itself, just more on the responsibility of attempting to control the attack. Asthma is REAL and should not be reduced to simply an inhaler or a couple of breathing techniques. However, asthma is a chronic condition just like diabetes, hypertension, and sickle cell that has to be monitored and regulated by the affected person. Not taking your insulin, high blood pressure pills, or being out in a thunderstorm are poor decisions if you suffer from the aforementioned illnesses.
I am going to assume that some of the posters (myself included) are not being vengeful, on some “That’s what he deserved for ….a-z,” but more so upset that because of his irresponsibility, he has (yet again) but himself in a compromising situation. Because Scrappy is asthmatic, he should pay more attention to his lifestyle, because I can’t imagine club must, smoking, and fighting Stevie are the best options.
At the end of the day, asthma has a multitude of triggers and varying levels of severity. We weren’t there when VH1 chopped and screwed this scene, so who knows?
SN: Although I’m a lurker, this blog is nothing short of exceptional! Great articles, insightful dialogue, and pure gut wrenching laughter.
*put
My fault, I didn’t mention being there for her emotionally because I assumed it was a given. I was speaking on a long term basis. If we’re in a long term relationship then I take it that I must have been there for you emotionally or else you would’ve left my azz by now lol.
I didn’t want to assume….you know how that goes.
You must not know a lot about Oprah…
The big takeaway from your scenario panama, is that black men have to come to grips with a cold, hard fact: that in the end, the only one who can and will lookout for us, is us.
Rubbish. Really the whole post. Black women have no examples of main stream acceptance except Oprah and even she is not accepted or regarded as crossover when it comes to romantic relations so Black women have some psych issues too. Every where we look we are reminded that we ate only marginally desirable or possible some erotic flavor of the month but not desirable for men of any race, generally speaking. Even our own apparently according to countless studies and editorials. (I personally never bought this crap and I am happily married and to a man who tasted the rainbow and still chose me) essentially I think your theory leaves a lot to be desired. Black people don’t have realistic expectations of marriage and have bought into that last line if the above quote. Believing noone is gonna look out for me but me crap we are never free to really love someone or receive love. Btw loving someone does not have conditions.
“The big takeaway from your scenario panama, is that black men have to come to grips with a cold, hard fact: that in the end, the only one who can and will lookout for us, is us.”
Yes. It is true. And there is nothing wrong with it. Although you will probably be called a jerk you will be respected.
“The big takeaway from your scenario panama, is that black men have to come to grips with a cold, hard fact: that in the end, the only one who can and will lookout for us, is us.â€
this kinda sucks but yeah, this has pretty much what life has been for me….even since childhood
“The big takeaway from your scenario panama, is that black men have to come to grips with a cold, hard fact: that in the end, the only one who can and will lookout for us, is us.”
And those that think like this will probably be alone. My parents have now been together over 30 years and I couldnt think of my father believing that lie. Its a good thing he didnt. Now suffering from cancer he truly knows who has his back. Oh and it isnt the hommies.
I try not to admit to watching this show in public, because I do have a reputation to uphold. However, if you call me on Monday nights, you’ll probably be listening to my voicemail. Several people upthread have mentioned that it’s what was in the episodes you missed that makes us empathize* with Erica.
*As much as one can empathize with anyone who has unprotected relations with the likes of Scrappy Doo. Really? He just looks like his idea of hygiene is a lukewarm rag and “shakin’ it dry.” He seems like that ninja who thinks Polo Sport and/or Cool Water replaces a nice, hot shower. Okay. Moving on….
And believe it or not, this entry ACTUALLY made me understand Black Medici’s guest post a little more. A woman is only going to go above and beyond for a ninja who has already proven himself. I guarantee if Scrappy had been doing what he was supposed to do (paying child support, having actual conversations with her, sexing her down on the regular and general non-a**holery), she would have AT LEAST been up at the hospital on her lunch break and after work.
SN: Did any other folks notice that he said Buckey came to visit when he “ALLOWED her to?” He reeks of arrogance….and probably more than a little B.O.
“SN: Did any other folks notice that he said Buckey came to visit when he “ALLOWED her to?â€
lol yeah i caught that too…..if this is your best friend why cant she come visit you anytime your in the hospital. I didnt understand. And did Erica even know that they were friends?
Thank You!!!
Hits her with a bow, and exits stage left.
LOL…hurry up before the tomatoes start flying again.
I watch it. I ain’t scurred no more. Stevie J is a great TV villain. I want Joseline to make it and not get sent back to the strip club. I want Mimi to get a backbone. I’m hooked. It’s over.
If you treat somebody like trash, you can’t be mad when they’re not sleeping at the foot of your hospital bed- that’s why you don’t burn bridges son- you might be “left for dead”.
On the low, I want to look Steebie in his face and find out what kind of Jedi mind trick he’s playing on the females. Five baby mamas, a main and a side chick….yet he hasn’t had a hit since 1998 AND he appears to be just a smidge taller than a regular sedan? I can’t!
Also, I was telling my pops how hard it is to deal with mamas like Scrappy’s…and they abound in today’s dating world. Add that to the other 1,204,031 reasons why I would never date him!
“yet he hasn’t had a hit since 1998 AND he appears to be just a smidge taller than a regular sedan?”
I’m only left to conclude it’s the D, girl. And maybe, just maybe, his choppy a** vocals. You saw the way he had Mimi in a trance like state with that whack a** song…lol.
“I’m only left to conclude it’s the D, girl.”
I’m convinced that what it is.
It better be the most incredible, gold-dipped shaboink in the history of mankind! LOL
On the global topic of “forgetting to be there,” I find this to be one of those things that really highlights the different thought processes of men and women. We tend to be more emotional and nurturing while they tend to be more practical or results-oriented.
Case in point: last September, my favorite uncle in the world passed away. I was absolutely devastated, to the point where even getting up out of bed seemed like too much effort. My ex just so happened to call me around that time and I explained to him what happened. His response (and I promise this is a direct quote): “I’m so sorry to hear that. You wanna have sex?”
As flabbergasted as I was, in his mind he was simply “being there.” I have to believe that; ’cause otherwise, he was just using my circumstance to get what my sister and I have affectionately termed “bereavement p*ssy.” Blog entry coming soon….it’s real in these grief streets.
Now if the roles had been reversed, sex would have been the furthest thing from my mind. I would have been offering to come down there and attend the services with him; sent flowers to his mama’s house….something to show that I cared. But we don’t all have the same definition of caring, and nine times out of ten, we were already looking for the other person to mess up so we could have legitimate reason to leave. So we pretend to be offended (back to good ol’ Scrappy) when we’re actually relieved.
And I just refuse to say anything contrary about Love & Basketball, which is the story of my life. I keep a pair of basketball shorts in my trunk just in case I need to play someone for their heart. LOL
can you hoop?
hmmm……
Better than anyone I know. Writing is my first love, but basketball is a close second.
interesting that you said sex would have been the furthest thing from your mind b/c i distinctly remember talking to one of my homegirls one day about her man whose mother passed and she said the only way she knew how to comfort him was with sex. that was the first thing she thoguht of. i asked some other women i knew about this and some echoed similar sentiment. that’s how they said they knew to make their men feel better.
Yes sex is a pain-relief for some when they are grieving. Men and women.
I remember after Sept 11, the sheer number of people in NYC who were grief-fuc&king.
Everybody deals with death differently….it’s just the one time in my life when sex is usually the furthest thing from my mind. For me, I think it increases the risk of getting yourself in completely reckless situations, i.e., reuniting with an ex (who was an ex for a reason), catching feelings, unprotected sex, etc. Grief can make you grasp for straws like that.
Everyone probably should watch the show before responding! If not then your not truly informed and don’t know the whole situation.
Oh?
Based on what’s been said and done on the show, she did exactly what anyone would expect of her.
Never seen the show, but based on PJ’s account and the comments, I don’t need to, to know that she should have helped him. That was and will always be the right thing to do. People get bent over dogs being lost and you ga tell me she couldnt help that man? Jeebus!
“People get bent over dogs being lost and you ga tell me she couldnt help that man? Jeebus!”
Lol but she did help him tho! She delegated and made sure he got to where he needed to be. Im not saying this would be my same action but I can understand her actions. Some of you people responding act like she just left him at home without taking any action……and that wasn’t the case. This is why it is important to watch the show and get the facts for yourself.
I know I shouldn’t, but it’s funny how people won’t see the connection between my guest post here, and the comments I’m reading now. A lot of the comments here said that since Scrappy hadn’t put his woman first, she wasn’t obligated to put him first. In other words, a lot of women feel that if they’re not given number #1 priority, they’re basically like a slut or a ho in their man’s life and he hasn’t put all in. But if they’re in that number #1 priority they will take care of the guy, be around him, take care of him like they’re his momma…
I don’t think being “put first” is the right phrase. Because I’ve heard relationship experts advised women that putting their children before their marriage is a mistake. So many women are guilty too, at least after having children, of letting their relationship fall to the back burner. So being made first isn’t necessarily the issue. I think thoughtfulness is the problem. There are studies like the differences in the way men and women carry out errands: women are more likely to carry out tasks on behalf of others and men for themselves. Or that women are more aroused when their husbands take up chores around the house. I don’t think it’s necessarily about being “put first” because believe it or not women can feel smothered too. I don’t want you on me 24/7. The word “priority” for me sounds stifling. No, I think thoughtfulness is more apt. Or if someone else can help me… Keeping your word when you plan to call or on a date… Not minimizing what I want to do or my feelings…
Is that a joke? Because that’s funny. Seriously. At the rate I do stuff, my wife shouldn’t ever sleep, right? ROTFLMAO!!!!! The women here are some real comedians today.
Lol, they didn’t tell you because he did it once, in the five years that they were married, that that’s why she got aroused. You do that 3 days in a row, you’re now expected to that all the time, and that arousal stuff gets thrown out the window.
Well that’s what a study (released this year, I believe) showed.
Well that’s what a study (released this year, I believe) showed.
I mean it makes sense (lol, I can’t believe people get grants to study this stuff, when engineers can’t get employment) It’s like serving breakfast to your woman in bed. Sure if you do it once in awhile or surprise her with it, she’ll get aroused. However, if you’re consistent with it, she’ll just expect it and get used to it, and it won’t make her horny anymore.
I get what you’re trying to say, but ultimately, it’s based on you and you alone. You see, I understand that we always talk about what turns women on, what makes them feel secure, what their feelings are, but ultimately, to any man his feelings are of more importance to himself than your own. I might not feel comfortable giving you what you want if I feel it comes at my expense.
Like you might feel as a woman, that you’ve put in a lot of work, you’ve been around me for 10 years or so and you’ve dealt with my BS, and because of that I’m taking you for granted if I haven’t married you yet…that’s your feelings. But what if I feel like it would be a mistake to marry you right now, since I have no inclination whatsoever to get married – what do we do now, how is thoughtfulness going to help us out? You see, if I don’t break down, if I choose to put my feelings over your own, how do we move forward, if you’re adamant about getting married?
This is why persuasion is so important. Persuasion is how you make someone see how they will ultimately benefit from doing something, more so that they would do if they didn’t, it’s not about losing, but it’s gaining. Most women in the above situation, would give a man an ultimatum, and try to force his hand, or try to guilt a man into marrying them. And if the guy accepts, which basically means he puts his woman’s feelings ahead of his, she wins yes, but at the cost of the man’s resentment, which will rear it’s ugly head in the future and might cause serious damage in the long run. And most women’s ability to be in relationships with men, is a lot of times comes from men’s ability to endure resentment, and if I’m lying ask men, and see how much resentment they have for the women that they actually LOVE lol.
However, if you persuade a man (few women have the patience, ability or desire to do so, which is why ultimately it is the fault of the man as I explained in my guest post), you make him feel he will get so much out of you after you get married, compared to what he is getting out of you at that very moment, then you win. You respected the fact that his feelings are more important to him, than yours (as is the case with all human beings) and you worked with him, because it was you who wanted something from him. But alas, how many women are really willing to put in that much effort to get their way?
I am thoroughly confused by VSB’s on here empathizing with a VDB which implies means you might not only be a VSB but also a Very Trifling Brotha. Ya’ll can’t have it both ways. Ya’ll act like us women were talking about Michelle Obama telling the secret service there’s no need to alert the ambulance for POTUS who’s clutching his chest on the floor. Really?!! If ya’ll can put yourselves in Scrappy’s trifling sneakers that means ya’ll are awaiting reprisal for something dirty you’ve done to the women in your respective lives. As the cliche goes “Treat others as you would want to be treated.” I have two younger brothers and of course I would lose my mind if either of their girlfriends left them to die. One has children with his girlfriend and God forgive me and God forbid but I wouldn’t surprise is she did something like that. She has been physically (and verbally) abusive towards my brother. And I will never forget when he left work early and rushed over to our parents’ home after finding out their place had gotten burglarized. He put some of the blame on his baby mama because she seemed to pay short shrift to using the alarm system. And coincidentally (or not so) it was all of his stuff that was taken (her gaudy jewelry that were in plain sight remained). He was almost in the fetal position, he was so upset. But he’s still with her. I pray constantly for him.
My other brother just a few weeks ago asked me for advice because he was at that crossroad with his chick. He’s been under a lot of pressure: he’s finishing up school; is now working for himself; had to give up his place and is bouncing back forth from our parents’ place and his girl’s; and barely has a functional car and just to add more on his plate his BFF has been in coma for a month. He felt like his girl was not only minimizing the demands of his life but also trivializing them by complaining and stressing over things that were no where near having-a-friend-in-a-coma territory. On top of that she possibly is unable to have children and that’s also something (as cruel as it may sound) he’s weighing.
So trust me, as a woman, I can empathize with male problems. But Scrappy ain’t that male. I’ve heard more stories about women having being organ donors for the men in their lives (famously: Geore Lopez’s wife-turned-ex and infamously: a female employee to her male boss who eventually fired her) than the other way around. So when a woman tells a man in need you’re on your own that cold heart was hard fought.
The problem with your assessment of this situation, is you’re not taking into consideration that anytime a crime occurs, the punishment should fit the crime, or justice is now replaced with vengeance. If your man cheats on you and goes out to party all night, justice is, you go out and you cheat on him and you party all night. Justice isn’t you leave a man all by himself, when he’s not even sure if he’s gonna ever wake up again.
As I said awhile back, you know how loyal your woman is not when things are good, but when things are bad. Remember, and this is the thing a lot of people are forgetting, Erica actually wants to be with this sh*tty dude, she just wants him to change his ways. How are you actually going to get a man to change his ways, if at his weakest point you abandon him for a job that would even forgive you if you called out of work and said, your baby’s father was sick and you couldn’t make it in to work that day?
If she felt like you about the situation, she wouldn’t have been mad that he broke up with her and moved out. It is true that you should treat others the way you want them to treat you, but you should never treat people worse than how they’ve treated you. And, imagine, if the tables were turned, would we expect any less from her?
“but ultimately, to any man his feelings are of more importance to himself than your own.”
And, a woman’s feelings are of more importance to her. If a woman doesn’t feel like she’s getting her needs met by him in whatever time frame she thinks the relationship should develop… well, then you know what… it’s time to step off and move in another direction.
Are you Arab? ‘Cause you talking just like what most Arab men a taught in their culture. It’s all about the man and how he feels and what his needs are and how a woman should please him. That the woman should be submissive to the man’s desires. Maybe that’s why you and I clash a lot because I ain’t that type of woman.
And, you know, I was down for pleasing my ex up unto the point he took that shyt as a sign of weakness. Once that happened he thought it was okay to abuse. Well, we know his arse got kicked to the curb and I do not tolerate staying with a man that doesn’t meet my needs, period. I will put in effort and meet my mans needs when he communicates that to me, but if he ain’t caring about what I need… adios amigo.
Exactly. You leave soon after you realize he doesn’t have your back & wants to hurt you on purpose.
You don’t stay & suffer & carry grudges and wait until he has a heart attack or asthma attack to not take him to the ER. Yep.
Women always take out what they want, and leave out the rest. How many times must I say that in order for a man to get anything out of a woman, that he has to persuade, unless she freely gives it up? Lol, I’ve just said that usually it’s the guy who’s doing all the persuasion, and the woman’s who’s throwing the guilt in his face. Arab culture is the male version of what we got over here lol, only instead of getting stoned for adultery, you just lose most of your s^&t.
“Arab culture is the male version of what we got over here”
Okay, makes sense now and that’s exactly why we have differences. I understand your mentality. I don’t agree with it and I find it difficult to tolerate for long. I think that’s why you had a lot of issues pop up with your post also. It is not only about knowing your audience, but differences in culture too.
That’s fair and is done on purpose though, I believe conflict breeds progress, and in that regards I am a progressive muthaf%6ka lol.
Aww man you still on the guest post stuff?… man let that go.
It’s the same topic from a different angle. Plus, I’m admire seeing irony in action.
Alright well you enjoy yourself.
Lol
Wasn’t I right though? Or is that too much to ask?
Yeah, I mean… no offense but you wrote a whole post that seems to be common sense. Like once I got past your abrasive language, I realized all you were saying was “dude, you get more bees with honey then vinegar”… which means, when you treat people right they’re more likely to do the right thing for you… well, to stay in vein with today’s post I’ll quote Buckey and say “uh duh dummy”!
Common sense ain’t common…if it was, why would anyone watch the show that we’re talking about?
Because it’s extremely ignant and entertaining… why wouldn’t they?
It’s ignorant, it’s entertaining, it makes black people look bad, and worse, black people in America are in too dire of a situation today, to be entertained by our worst, when our best don’t have any voice.
Let it go
+342,190,287
i wish that they would get it……
I have a lot to say in response so I’m gonna start a new thread below.
Lol, since WC didn’t insult me (which if she felt I was wrong, she would since she enjoys calling men out on BS), I know that’s her way of saying I was right and I appreciate it.
No, I’m trying to do you a favor and give you a little hint about how it looks when you keep harping on something three days later. I still think it was asinine. And now I think you look silly grabbing at threads trying to get somebody to say you were right. Three days later.
I mean you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. Our purposes in blogging are different, mine is to be right or wrong. Yours is to call men out on BS, and to talk about the merits of being a cougar. Who cares what we think of each other?
This is not the same topic. I don’t think anyone here is saying that Erica is inherently only a mother or a ho and the only way to make her be a balance of the two is for scrappy to act right. I think he wants her to make sacrifices for him that he isn’t willing to give to her- be it ho duties or motherly duties. It has nothing to do with her ho/mother ratio and how to get it at some 50/50 ideal. Also, this can show as evidence of a failure of your “women are either hoes or mothers” theory- seems in this case, she is neither.
Base on the information you and the ladies, who watch LHHATL, reveal about Lil Scrappy’s character, I’m supportive of Erica’s decision.
Lil Scrappy seems to be less-trustworthy, less-respectful, less-loyal, less-loving, less-caring, less-protective, and so on of Erica. Therefore, I’m pro her investing less trust, respect, loyalty, love, and so on in this man, even, during & after one of his asthmatic attacks. Erica, actually, supported Lil Scrappy well enough by having one of his boys take him to the hospital and going to work. She did good. I’m here for Erica investing all of these, and more, valuable things in herself and her child/children. As one of his women, not going to the hospital, in this situation, is not one area where she totally f*cked up.
Erica may have lost one. She lives. If she keeps this up, I’m betting on Erica living better after Lil Scrappy kicks her to the curb. Erica seems to get it all right
.
^
|___ above watching L&HH:Atlanta but i digress…
This post hits home because not too long ago i was in a situation where i really saw who was “there”. It was 2 years ago i was in my final year of ugrad when i heard my mother passed. Obviously i was distraught and reached out to my g/f at thm time to be my rock…
We were in school together so i asked her to come with me. She said she was too busy to come but she’d attend the wake & funeral. I felt some type of way about that but understood she wouldnt get a pass on classes/work like i did. That whole time i was gone i ended up leaning on my homegirl who was there, thru the tears, drunk dials, and recklessness with all my childhood friends. My g/f calls me when im hanging with my friend and i tell her im busy i’ll call her back, she hears my friend and assumes the worst and had the audacity to get mad at me and accuse me of cheating. I wasn’t but for me i saw it as a golden opportunity to end the relationship and told her “well she’s here, you’re not.” and hung up. Time passes and i actually do end up with my friend and my ex refusing to accept responsibility rather call me a cheater than realize the reason i couldnt be with her anymore.
Just like women want to know he is in it for the long haul, a man needs to know she’ll be there when it gets real. Its easy to love with no obstacles, jump a hurdle or two so i know its real.
First of all, *hugs*
I felt that in my heart….probably because I’ve been there before. Nothing hurts more than people who aren’t there for you in such a devastating moment. In that case, I feel like it doesn’t even need to be said. I’m just going to do whatever I need to do to be your support.
“We were in school together so i asked her to come with me. She said she was too busy to come but she’d attend the wake & funeral. I felt some type of way about that but understood she wouldnt get a pass on classes/work like i did. That whole time i was gone i ended up leaning on my homegirl who was there”
So, just for clarification purposes, let’s say your gf at the time blew off her classes and became your rock during this difficult time in your life. You saying that you would have kept her around for a little while longer? You obviously had intentions of ending the relationship and this situation served as a convenient catalyst (from my understanding).
I left out details on how ugly that phone conversation went but i see how u can say it was somewhat convenient but looking back i cant say with certainty that she would’ve been Mrs. Tristan otherwise but it really shined a light on where we were headed especially wrapping up school
I’m just re-living my senior year in undergrad and thinking about how much sh!t I had to do just to get my clearance slip. My focus was graduating by any means necessary and I think it’s unfair to expect a someone (in their last year) to have to uproot so unexpectedly like that.
God forbid if she had exams coming up, a job, etc. But idk your relationship dynamics so I can only assume. If it were me I would probably have done what she did and offer my emotional support since I couldn’t be there physically (at least not for the entirety of your stay at home)
I would have been there. And took my work with me to finish up the semester on a high note. I would have negotiated with my professor an extension on papers due. That’s just me though. Losing your mama is HUGE.
Well more context it was october
I’m sorry, but that ex did it to herself. You left a guy alone in his time of need, he’s with his female friend who is being supportive, and the first thing out of your head is that you were cheating? All the friend was doing was supporting your soul, not your peen. That she took it there tells me she knew she was dead wrong, and was trying to cover her tracks.
+ I agree, Todd. She was covering her tracks.
Just so I understand… the guys in this thread would have left school for their girlfriend and they would have taken whatever consequences as a result.
And that the reason you are outraged is because you were planning making her your life partner, leading to marriage… and she just messed that up.
Because if she had been down like that you would have pledged your life to her
I’m just trying to understand the extent of the reward for this sacrifice ~JS
Reward?
Wouldn’t this be one of those situations where that support is something you are supposed to do? Your reward is the satisfaction of being there for your mate.
Quid Pro Quo is a major reason why so many relationships fail.
Her professors, nor would the head of most depts give a girlfriend a pass on attendance or her classes because her boyfriends mom died.
Not his wife, fiance, roommate…
She would be overtly penalized for her support, even if on an emotional level you may want to… the people she has to answer to aren’t caught up in her feelings.
Without some level of visible commitment, most of society does not recognize peripheral support ‘obligations’
It would be a VERY understanding boss or professor that is going to let you have wake and funeral time for a boyfriend’s parent
My grandmother died when I was in college and I had to go through it to get my leave without penalty… because most organizations don’t consider grandparents immediate family
My point was that it is an unrealistic expectation for that level of support without a serious commitment on his part.
I’ve had bosses and professors who would have looked at you sideways if you wanted to take some time to help your boyfriend grieve…
Like getting dropped form a class or losing a job… and how would that sacrifice be ‘rewarded’.
The expectation that she should extend herself that far when he has no skin in the game is not grounded in reality ~JS
I agree with Sandpaper. Do something b/c you want to and not b/c you expect something. I think if Tristan’s girl would have made the effort (instead of saying she was too busy) then everything would have been fine. It’s about putting at least a foot forward.
What he said hit home for me. I would feel hurt if i am going through something and the guy does not try to find a way to be there for me.
i’m saying…you would TOTALLY understand if you rman was like…naw, i got life to tend to???
i dont buy it. you’re being very reasonable right now…but this aint a reasonable situation.
me? i’d go with her and find some way to make it all up. i promise you i would.
hell, my BEST FRIEND’S grandmother was in the hospital and they they thought she might not make it much longer. i paid 700 for a flight to chattanooga Tennesse FOR ONE DAY just to go to pay my respects to a woman who was alive. i flew into Atlanta, rented a car and rove to Chattanooga for like 5 hours, drove back to Atlanta and flew back otu teh same night.
i KNOW i’d do that for my woman.
Anybody ever tell you that you’re awesome?! Even if you are a 3, you have the heart of 10oz of gold.
Church!!
Seriously though, loyalty is extremely hard to find.
My best friend (since 7th grade) ran her first half ironman a few months back. I surprised her by flying into town, renting a car, driving an hour just to be their for her at the start and finish line. I have taken off work and driven 8 hrs to be with someone whose parent passed away. I don’t expect any of this in return. I did both things out of love and care.
There is no TELLING what i would do for my man if he needed me.
+100 …nillalatte this is me all day everyday. From a very young age I could help but be supportive and concerned about everyone else, making them feel special even to the detriment of myself. I have had to learn to balance this over the years because I truly carrying the weight of being there for others very seriously.
awww…thanks. but that’s also my point. i feel like my boy would have done the same for me. like my people mean that much to me.
hell, even my daughter’s mother, we’re no longer together obviously, but if you think i’m gonna leave her hanging at any time you must be smoking. your peoples are your peoples. you owe it ot them.
I think it all comes down to life experience… if you ever lost someone very close you understand the importance of being there when someone else does… and if you haven’t, you prolly won’t.
And I always thought you would, PJack just from your posts.
thanks. *hifive*
Well if you’re ever looking for a woman…..
*does the South Dallas Swag* LOL!!!!
aw gee.
Unless they are in the same classes at the same hour, how would her professors know she was lying if she said she had a family emergency and had to leave for a few days? That situation is too easy to work around.
She deserved her pink-slip.
because most schools and jobs request documentation… its not like you can just go ghost without explanation you have to present obituaries at a minimum I have worked places where hr would ask for a death certificate copy
and he said she could only make it for the wake and the funeral… I think that is reasonable it wasn’t like she said I can’t go at all I will see you when you get back
she just couldn’t take off the amount of time he could, and that is not surprising to me in the least ~JS
I had the opposite experience. Because I was one of their best students, and known to be committed to my work, my professors would have given me the extension.
This.
See how valuable women think your life is?
In this case one woman saw the value while the other woman didn’t…I don’t think he meant this post as an indictment on women in general.
Yep!
What a ridiculous statement. Just because his girl at the time made this choice doesnt mean all women would. And besides didn’t he say a female friend was there for him….
If the situation had been reversed… would you have quit your job, dropped your classes, and moved with her to wherever she was from?
I somehow doubt it.
I don’t watch the show so I can’t really comment on that but I have seen Love and Basketball and I understand where you are coming from. I want to say that’s it’s hard to know when to put someone first in a situation like hers. If she had stayed, she wouldn’t have started, her career may have been derailed, she could have been benched for the rest of the season, she had an entire team that needed her, etc. Very hard place to have yourself in. Also, it all worked out in the end. They both needed to see what was really important and that takes time.
First and foremost, I have noticed some people saying that if a man shows that he can’t be there for me in my time of need then why should I break my back to be there for him? Unless you are married, I ask, why do you stay in the first place? We can’t help who we love but we can definitely help the situation we are in.
I know for me, due to childhood experiences, it is a necessity that whatever man I settle down with is there for me through thick and thin, is my protector, and my rock. I can’t ask him to do these things for me if I won’t give him the same in return. If my dude is going to the hospital, I am either driving the ambulance, in the back with him, or tailing the h3ll out of that ambulance to get to the hospital the moment he arrives. I take loyalty very seriously but will only give it to those who have given it to me in return. I dont do blind loyalty. We build that together. The moment its gone, our relationship will never be the same again.
Disappointment comes from both genders but I have noticed, from my guy friends, that when they are disappointed, it’s a huge deal. Maybe bc that letdown impacts an open heart that isn’t so easy for them to give…
“…. due to childhood experiences, it is a necessity that whatever man I settle down with is there for me through thick and thin, is my protector, and my rock. ”
Allllllllllllllllll of this. Even though I’m not a big TD Jakes fan, he said something that stuck with me. He said that the person you marry should be the one who can stand with you on your darkest day. I have survived some DARK days already, by and large due to the support system that I already have in place. If you’re my husband, I need to know that you’re going to add to that and not take away from it. If something happens to my dad, I need to know that you are literally going to place your hand on my back and help me get through this. If not, trust me, we won’t make it.
Agreed. I don’t take these things likely. I cannot submit to a man who I feel will not be completely loyal to me and my protector and not just when it comes to the physical either. And I will darn near stab someone for trying to cross him.
That’s because women don’t have any idea what love means to a guy. They don’t understand what it truly means to provide. Think about the love that a mother has for her child. She loves it with all her heart, she wants to provide for it, because she created it, raised it and she wants to see it excel. Now double that intensity of love and that’s the kind of love a man has for a woman. He didn’t produce the woman, he didn’t give birth to the woman, but the same love that would make a woman jump in front of a moving car to protect her child, is the same love that makes the man jump in front of that same moving car to protect her and her children.
And yet, most men aren’t even conscious of the fact that that is how real and how hardcore our love is, we marginalize it ourselves, and give it away cheaply, then we get mad when women treat our love as cheap, and inferior to the love they have for us. And since so many women have received cheap love from men, they don’t understand how valuable it actually is, and when a dude gets screwed over, he resolves to the fact that he’s never going to give that love again, even when his heart his telling him to do so.
Imagining you have an idea of what a mothers’ love for her child is and a dude having more of that in regards to his woman..come on?..like really..have you ever felt a mothers’ love for her child?
Have you ever met a man who didn’t?
yes.
wait, your a mother?..all this time i thought u were a guy
Lets get real, what you describe really only happens in the movies. Otherwise there would be a lot more male quadroplegics.
A man’s love in reality: lust at first… then contentment and inertia. That is it.
It happens a lot in war torn nations and places where poverty is rampant. Funny thing is people only appreciate things when they’re gone.
What?!? That’s not fair…
“Disappointment comes from both genders but I have noticed, from my guy friends, that when they are disappointed, it’s a huge deal. Maybe bc that letdown impacts an open heart that isn’t so easy for them to give…”
So true. And as someone who… due to childhood experiences… considers her heart something not easy to give AT ALL, I’d say this is true about me as well. I think this is true about people with guarded hearts, not just men. But yeah, it is a trait more known to men in general…
Cheekie, I can’t even begin to explain to you how much i understand what you just said.
*hugs*
Having read comments for some context, what i get from the Erica/Scrappy situation is resentment. When it gets to the point where your countering eachother with what you did/what i did its never gonna end well. Also Erica shoulda stayed and been the bigger person, trying to justify her actions with all the bs she put up with before is immature and petty. Oh Kay Kay Kay n sh t
I don’t understand this “baby mama” entitlement. Scrappy has expressed on numerous occassions that Erica is not his wife, girlfriend, etc. she is the mother of his child and they are “working on things”.
Why is she obligated to make sure he is doing anything apart from being a father and supporting their daughter emotionally and financially? I fail to see how this is tit for tat on those terms.
I don’t watch the show either. As for your comment, “Erica shoulda stayed and been the bigger person…” My question is why? For what???
Exactly.
regardless of history if you ever gave two fux about dude you’d stay what if the worst had happened, thats still her child’s father and its just human decency, you see a stranger pass out in front of you you wont even stay and ensure help arrives or just keep it pushing
If I saw a stranger pass out in the street I would call 911, wait for the abulance to arrive, and whisper a prayer for them and their fam as I went about my business. Are people really sitting by strangers’ bedsides?
*ambulance
A father who refuses to pay child support? I’ll pass.
I didn’t watch the episode, but from what I’ve gathered she did get help and made sure a friend of his was there… I’m with Ms. Bridget. I would have called 911, waited for help to arrive, and sent him on his way. Call when you get out the hospital/if you get out the hospital….on second thought, don’t.
Does your position come from how you would want a girl you’ve done wrong to treat you should something bad happen?
Nevermind…just saw your post above…
“So what do you think? Should she have taken him to the hospital herself or is her job to make sure its taken care of?”
No.
(To be clear, I do watch the show. It’s a soap opera folks. So my critique is coming from the same spirit with which you’ve heard older women talk about Victor, Cricket, and the like. Feel free to judge.)
1. She ain’t his mammy.
2. They’re not even together. **He dumped her for “Bucky” without telling her.**
She should have done exactly what she did. She made sure he was heading to the hospital, someone was with him and she went on tend to her business. I don’t believe Monica is in the health care profession so her being there was not important.
“What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death?”
For me prioritizing is a big deal right now because I have a ton of crap going on. Basically, one has to stop being so strict about scheduling and determine what actually needs to be done. There’s an 80/20 theory that says only 20% of the things we do get us 80% of the results we see. That means 80% of our time is wasted on bullsh*t. All that to say, I try not to waste my time on bullsh*t and only do the tasks that get me results. As a result I have more time with my SO. I’m not sure I could list specific situations because there are too many scenarios to count.
Generally I say, if no significant amount of money will be lost, no life-changing consequence will occur and no one will be unsafe, it can wait.
“Generally I say, if no significant amount of money will be lost, no life-changing consequence will occur and no one will be unsafe, it can wait”
…exactly!
*fist pumping* Go wip, Go wip!
“Generally I say, if no significant amount of money will be lost, no life-changing consequence will occur and no one will be unsafe, it can wait.”
But his life coulda been lost Aunty WIP….that is why I think she should have helped.
Ya, he could have. I believe she left him alone at any point though, she just didn’t go to the hospital. I think losing her job or missing some significant amount of pay to support her child was enough reason for her to say her job “couldn’t wait” and she had to go to work.
I definitely understand what it feels like not to be able to breathe. I had a major onset of Bronchitis as a kid. my through closed up on me and I panicked.
I *don’t* believe
OK, I’m just going to type this story about how my wife did me dirty in a somewhat similar situation before I start crying. The fact that all of you women would just abandon a dude in the lurch like that makes you all sound like monsters.
First, some background for the story. My wife was a few months out from being hospitalized for mental issues and wasn’t working full-time yet. The part-time gig she had was in the plus-sized fashion industry and mostly working from home. I just got a job as research associate at a Big Name College That’ll Remain Nameless, and it was rough. Even though my wife was a lot closer to my daughter’s day care than I was, I had to hurry home to pick our daughter up because my wife was too scared to go on the bus. As a result, in the first few weeks, I was already getting side-eyes for cutting out on OT due to my daughter. Also, for a couple of weeks, I had to switch day care providers since my reg was on vacation for the summer. Since I couldn’t get out there soon enough to get my daughter from this one, I had to pay someone $50 to get my daughter for that week.
Now, one day that week, one of my wife’s business contacts had gotten involved in some MTV contest that for whatever reason required that she get a flash mob out on the Brooklyn Bridge. However, the timing of this meant that if she did this, she wouldn’t be home for someone to drop off our daughter. So she manages somehow to get the “courage” to ride the bus to get our daughter, then head out to the Brooklyn Bridge and back when she said she couldn’t ride mass transit. (For the record, she was using Access-A-Ride to get back and forth to therapy and doctor appointments after I started my job. Before then, I was taking her.) Then, she had a nerve to say I chose our backup provider mainly b/c she had a big a$$. (She did, but that a$$ wasn’t watching my daughter. The woman was.) Then, since she felt I was paying someone too much for rides, my wife decided to help herself to $40 of the $50 I left to pay the woman.
Of course, my job at BNCTRN ended up past tense as they got sick of the fact that I couldn’t stay overtime, and I had to dig out extra money to pay back the person after I found out what happened. Yet my wife magically found the strength to ride mass transit for her little fashion thing, which crashed and burned once people figured out that she wasn’t willing to get her hands dirty. Since then, my name was mud. At least it inspired me to finally go get some therapy to deal with my own issues. After all, I couldn’t get how someone could just leave me in the lurch like that after I had their back during something very traumatic as a suicide attempt and a nervous breakdown.
But I know. I’m just selfish. I should have given everything I had and then some.
GTFOHWTBS.
I’m not sure how this is the same. There is a distinction between a wife’s duty and an not-really-girlfriend’s duty, no?
Yep. No offense Todd but you are in an extreme situation. Do you feel it is fair to compare your wife to regular women who have sense?
You have a point mena. I think the post hit me on the wrong day, because I was just thinking back about the whole incident and was piiiiiiiissed. Of course, my wife didn’t think it was a big deal, and when I’ve called her on it, she’ll swear I’m trying to blame all my problems on her.
Todd I’ve learned that people will disappoint even those with the very best intentions. Your wife obviously had some very severe issues. I don’t know the details but I think it is clear that you should accept that your situation wasfar from the norm and she was an exceptional situation. At this point you have to find a way to forgive her. When you do she will no longer cause such an emotional response, draining you. Your daughter needs at least one emotionally healthy and balanced parent and if you have such strong negative feelings for her mom you will damage your daughter and her emotional and social development. I pray you are able to find peace and forgive both your ex and yourself.
Totally understood. I have had a post or two rub me the wrong way.
Awww….that’s sad. Don’t cry… I doubt many of the women here, if put in your situation, would have acted that way. Have a little bit more faith in us.
Then who should I believe? You or my own eyes?
Like WIP said, “There is a distinction between a wife’s duty and an not-really-girlfriend’s duty..” If we are acting as a wife/girlfriend the response will be drastically different.
So, in this case you should definitely believe me…I wouldn’t lie to you.
Todd, I’m very sorry to hear your story. I hope you find peace and joy through all that pain. Remember, there’s light at the end of every tunnel.
I know what its like to have a family member with severe mental troubles that cause them to do all types of things. So I sympathize with you.
i dont think this is the same at all.
i think in fact in your situation you are the “erika”.
***disclaimer*** I dont know any of these people and these arejust my thoughts and opinions based on a television show that i watch religiously.
okay.
why do i say that? because in the scrappy sitaution Erikahas been there to pick him up time and time again, even after he publicly humilated and betrayed her.
she also takes care of her daughter full time (umm what yall think he was doing while he was running up behind diamond) and then he has the audacity to talk about someone not being there for him in one instance? how many times has she been there for him? again maybe due to past issues her job is at the zero tolerance point..
so todd it seems like your wife was more on that scrappy shyt.
Meanwhile thats a sad situation for anyone to be in and i thank you for sharing.
Todd, you are giving everything. I’m sorry she isn’t able to because of her illness. This shyt sucks. You’re a good father & responsible husband. The situation is shytty.
If he done me dirty… he can take care of himself.
If he has proven he is worth my effort… I’d go to the ends of the earth.
Quite simple really.
tell it, and then tell it some more. i know from personal experience how traumatic it is to have this energy in your home. you keep absorbing it and when you are a good person, you don’t know where and when and how to let it out.
and how to do this… well,
there’s a beautiful Lao Tsu quote and it goes:
loving someone deeply gives you courage
and being loved deeply gives you strength
your daughter is your love.
and you are her love.
and (ohmagosh)
how lucky the two of you are
to have each other.
peace ~*~
All hail OPRAH for she is the queen of daytime television. It was her wisdom and guidence that made my cousins so confortable that they would air their dirty laundry on TV for free. It was so good that a bunch of 2520 in a smoke filled back room decided why pay an actor to do something we can get the real thing off the street for 1/32 of the price. Am I one of the few in the VSB world where I can get the foolishness IRL and don’t have to turn on TV?
yes you are
and here is your cookie ~JS
So what do you think?
She is wrong on so many levels.
Off topic: I think it was WC that brought up how exes always come back and after yesterday’s events I have to again AGREE wholeheartedly that this is truly a ninja trait…and let me tell you why. Picture this mess…me and my ex hubby have zero communication and he randomly calls wanting to see our daughter on his birthday, I said sure and made arrangements to make it happen. He shows up to pick her up but unknown to me this man comes fully equipped with his own BIRTHDAY PARTY HATS, PLATES, CUPS, NAPKINS, TREATS…AND PROCEEDS TO SET UP 3 place settings for my daughter, he and I. Yes people this man (who cheated, lied, cussed and did everything else under the sun to me and who by the way is still actively involved with the last slaw he was caught with) decided on his own he wants to spend his birthday with US and didn’t leave it up for me to say no. Now this is where it gets better….this dude pulls out his video recorder and camera and proceeds to film all of this and took a grillion pictures of US because “he has pictures of all the previous years of us as a family and he doesn’t want this year to be an exceptionâ€. O_o
VSB and VSS what do you guys have to say about this shid?
These men…I tell ya…
I imagine I would have just rolled with it, let my daughter enjoy it, and counted on not seeing dude until next year.
WIP: I rolled with it. My daughter was on cloud 99 and just to see her smile and happy, I will put on ears any day. I always told him that we him could literally fist fight, cuss and scream 5 minutes before and he still could come and knock on the door to see our daughter and I would let him in and get down on the floor and play with them. She has nothing to do with her parents issues.
You’re a good mother. That’s all I can say on that one.
There is no way he would have set foot in my house… I’d be more than happy to let him see his child whenever he wanted, but if he wanted to do family activities he should have kept his behind at home.
Keisha: He just walked on it like he owned the damn place and begun setting up the PARTY. My daughter was jumping for joy so I couldn’t be like “ninja is you on crack?†I agree, if he wanted family activities he should have used his adding and subjecting skills he learned in school and figure out that 1 wife plus 5 slaws will equal disaster for yo dumb arse later on in yo dumb arse life.
LOL…”ninja is you on crack?” would have been my exact response to that…
What is a slaw?
Slaw = whore
I thought it was slore=slut + whore
Bump a moderation psssshhhhh!
I thought it was sl0re = slut + wh0re
NOW WHAT??!!!
Yeahso: Gurl I stay creating my own words and messing up popular sayings….usually Yoles will correct me and give the correct word but she has been MIA for a couple of weeks.
Lol… I don’t mind stepping in until she gets back.
well where I can
Breezy, he was acting like a daddy. You said it like he doesn’t have the right to be all hyped about his child’s birthday. He cheated on you, so? That day was her birthday not carry a grudge about his cheating on you day.
He was acting like a father, a daddy who was all hyped about his child’s birthday. I see absolutely nothing wrong with what he did. He saved you gas in your car to make trips to the store to buy all the birthday stuff. Go child celebrating her birthday with the 2 people who love her and brought her into this world!
Staying mad that he cheated on you is like staying mad that he’s no longer your man. If he gets on your nerves that bad, be happy he broke up the relationship.
AWE: It wasn’t my daughters birthday…it was HIS birthday. I think you missed what I was saying completely. I am not mad at him at all. Read it again and then I think you will understand why I was confused by the events that took place.
He wanted his daughter to celebrate his day. Same difference. Being a father means wanting to celebrate your birthday with your children. His involving you probably eased stress for your daughter — as she was happy –she had you and he there.
Quincy Jones said all that fighting hurts the babies. He has holiday meals with all his children and all the ex-wives.
I get what you are saying AWE and that is exactly why I went along with the whole thing. It was shocking because we NEVER see or hear from him (birthday’s, Christmas) ever!!! He spends no time with our daughter and never calls or inquires about her well-being..so needless to say when I got the random call and then what followed afterwards literally left me puzzled.
Girl he ambushed you & bogarted a party in your home! Too funny! Im not laughing at you, im laughing with you cuz it sounds exactly like something my trifling BD would do. I know it took some major restraint not to smash that cake in his stupid face
ROTFLMBO!!! I promise you Ice, this is the funniest crap to happen to me all year!
Fair weather fathers. smh.
Nawwww homie. You don’t need ME to celebrate your birthday. You and your daughter can have a grand time by yall selves. <—I know that sounds bitter as h3ll but He's still working on my heart. Breezy, you're a good woman.
yeah that’s ridiculous. but i probably would have gone with the punches b/c i imagine your daughter was happy to have mommy and daddy for a birthday. sucks though. he needs a good talking to.
Yes and yes…I rolled with it the whole time…sung happy birthday to him posed for family pictures too. I need a damn gold star!
Ya know Breezy, this is weird, but I can’t say I haven’t had similar experiences with my ex like this one. Don’t get me wrong, he was only allowed in my own home once after we divorced and that ended badly, so never again. But, he has done things, recently actually, like asking to talk to me because he just needs someone to talk to or wanting to see me to talk. The answer to that? Send it in an email if it’s about the kids. If what you have to say is not about the kids go talk to your sharmuta because we don’t have anything between us to discuss.
I told one of my friends about one of his emails basically ‘crying’ to me about needing to talk to me because ‘life was hard.’ He told me, “He wants the mother of his children.” Tough. He was denied the privileged of my company a LONG time ago.
I would make it clear to the ex that he was out of order and if it made you that uncomfortable to let him know that can never happen again.
Nill: I will definitely be having a conversation with him very shortly because yeah ummmm how dare you after fifteen-leven months just spring up and do this?!? Thank God the boo is not in town.
Hey Breezy,
I actually don’t think it’s that deep as him wanting to be a father, though that could be the case.
More than likely he had a bad day (or week) with the slaw/slore and knew you’d be cordial if the kid was there. That party wasn’t about spending time with you and the kid for y’all sake or to make her happy, he probably needed an outlet. And I suspect he wanted to test out the waters with y’alls interaction in case he wants to wiggle back into your life.
Ms. TB: I don’t know what home fries deal was but whatever it was about it just completely threw me for a loop and a swirl. But you are right he knows I will never take it there with our daughter around so he took full advantage of that and straight up hosted his own birthday party at my house….lolol
You better chill that Ninja out before I do.
*beaming and blushing* Hi Meechy!!!!!
He’s so protective.
You handled it correctly. The things about him that made you choose him then leave him are no longer relevant. You are co-parents now. That requires you doing things together from time to time and that’s ok. Your daughter sees you happy and moving on, and can revel in the occasional delight of seeing the two people who came together to create her interacting. Sounds like a win win.
Comparing Love & Basketball with L&HHA was a Vaild, but Fawed, example, in the sense that Q didn’t have the Shady Track Record Scrappy has, Erica isn’t a B-Ball freshman like Monica, there wasn’t Cheating prior to the bleacher scene, and there’s No Child til the End of the Movie.
Yes, Quincy’s Dad got caught, and Q’s entire Mindset of what he was Taught a Man WAS and should ACT came from his Dad, not a Rapper or another Ball Player. All Q saw was the “quarrels” of a Married Couple, and when he saw the pics his Mom got from the PI, he got a Reality Check that his Player Ways from High School ALSO Came from his Dad- in a way.
Even before that, Q and Monica hung out, and went to each other’s games (some deleted scenes showed Q and Monica in the stands at each other’s games), iced each other’s injuries, and other things a Couple/Married Couple do. Like somebody said earlier, Q told Monica he WOULD HAVE risked curfew and she “wouldn’t have asked him to do so”. You debate Starter and Bench positions and what not, but remember this: a Man KNOWS a Woman is Emotional by nature, so “being there” by Phone would have been an Insult to her and her feelings in general, let alone if Monica or Any Woman was in Q’s place. We all know the rest of the movie, so I’m not gonna explain or summarize it.
Scrap and Erica on the other hand, played out EXACLY as it should’ve. I am with the Women on this, as the Episodes created a timeline, and since Scrappy HAS Asthma attacks from the Dro sometimes, Erica chalked it up as another instance. He Messed Around/Cheated with Diamond, and based on the show he is/was been doing it with Buckey. Loyalty is Loyalty in its Entirely, not Selective- but SOME Acts don’t warrant 100% loyalty…..
I compare Being There as a whole to Asking for Help and Healthcare Insurance- in all 3 Most of the Time it’s All Good and it’s Not Needed UNTIL you Need It. Ppl are Bitching about “being forced” to get/ pay for insurance, aka Obamacare, but Everyone will harp over paying Someone Else’s Health Bill by Their own Rates being jacked up and by Taxes; People Don’t “need” Help (commonly known as $$$$$$) UNTIL Crunch Time. Y’all Know what I mean by this, and most of the time the tried and true excuse is “You never SAID I HAD to pay you back”- its Principle and Generally Assumed when you Borrow or get a Loan you HAVE to Pay it Back. And Loyalty is the Same Way: You Support Someone, be it a Relative, Friend, S/O or Spouse, with the Assumption/Expectation that it will be Reciprocated. Once ppl resort to Tally Marks, Tabs, and Playing Dozens, Words mean Nothing and Past Actions are weighed with more Value and/or Scrutiny
“Like somebody said earlier, Q told Monica he WOULD HAVE risked curfew and she “wouldn’t have asked him to do soâ€. You debate Starter and Bench positions and what not, but remember this: a Man KNOWS a Woman is Emotional by nature, so “being there†by Phone would have been an Insult to her and her feelings in general, let alone if Monica or Any Woman was in Q’s place.”
I don’t know… ya’ll say this, but women are also known for appreciating “the little things.” We’re detail-minded creatures (ya’ll say we are when we need ammo for arguments LOL) so that assumption conflicts with that like a mug. Everything don’t have to be a grand gesture with us, despite what ya’ll claim.
Like, let’s say my man had curfew and had to leave… I may be disappointed and even upset that he couldn’t stay, but what I WOULD take note of is if he stayed up all night with me via phone… even just in silence. Like, I couldn’t NOT look back at that and appreciate it. I guess to me, as someone who does appreciate genuine effort no matter how small (and no, just a throwaway text isn’t comparable to staying on the phone all night so I’m not sure why folks keep making this one an argument… people can be creative with “being there” when they truly care), it’s just as bad for me not to acknowledge someone making an effort as it is for them not to do anything.
man please.
scrappy went to the emergency room and had a breathing treatment he wasnt even admitted.
and as a person with asthma that does happen pretty regularly. Now dont get me wrong asthma is serious and any attack has life threatening potential but when the mutha f!cka that has asthma islike f!ck it imma be in the club drunk with no regard for his asthma then why is she supposed to jump into super save him mode? she got him where he needed to be, got to work(cause she the only one with a job) and took care of their daughter. Scrappy isfull of shyt. Howmany times has she sat through an asthma attack with him, what if she on probation at her job? and lets not forget that based on what Erika said he left her high and dry after miscarriage.
In love and basketball she had worked so freaking hard to gain her status, she wasnt an automatic star like quincy and while i know the breakup of his parents was devastating why couldnt they talk on the phone about it? why couldnt she go for check in and then sneak back out? Man please
here is the thing about love. its as much about the things I will never ask you to do as the things i am willing to do for you.
If you love me there are somethings you wont ask me to do
neither of these were situations that required the level of sacrifice each of these guys felt they deserved.
“…its as much about the things I will never ask you to do as the things i am willing to do for you.”
Hello.
See this conversation is all tilted. People who don’t watch the show weren’t given vital information. I do however call shenanigans with all the he “deserved” the asthma attack because he was partying the night before or whatever because the way you all are framing it is that is the excuse she used for not taking him to the hospital like she would of taken him if it wasn’t the day after.
Not deserved… more like needs to take responsibility for his poor lifestyle choices ~JS
this all just let me know i need to watch more of the episodes. but even some of the vital information is conflicting. lol.
“All dis drankin & smokin gon catch up…..” *pastor troy voice*
Regardless of how many asthma attacks he has had, if you are in a serious relationship with someone, you do not leave them when they are in the hospital. You cannot demand loyalty and not give it back. I think that Scrappy probably took it too far and just wanted an excuse to be out of the relationship but Erica really should have been there. It was a tad callous of her but then again…… the writers did a great job with that storyline
I caught my first episode of this show this past weekend. That Stevie J dude is a clown….but hilarious. I literally cried when after trying to kiss his angry confrontational girlfriend he said with a smile “you all in my face.” Scrappy’s mama goes harder than he does. No wonder his girl doesnt respect him.
Hmmm. What this post says sounds a lot like Mondays post, but a little more demographic friendly. Good post.
Stevie J is as manipulative as they come. His character is perfect. Did you see when he quickly mentioned he had 4 or 5 “baby mamas?” Ya…
Yes I did! Dude is train wreck….and every time he said something stupid/funny all I could think was, “Wow. This clumsy dude made something this pretty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZpjseygMQg“
lol yea i remember. Stevie J is really hilarious to me tho…… his facial expressions, the things he says…… just his whole personality. I’ve never meet anyone quite as narcissistic as this dude in real life
As a pimp would say, “Charity begins at home.” If you raise a loyal woman, you get a loyal woman. If you raise a disloyal woman, you get a disloyal woman. If you raise a dog to be vicious and attack everyone, you shouldn’t get mad that he decided to bite you in the a$$ when he hasn’t eaten.
“raise a loyal woman”…like a daughter? PJ wasn’t talking about kids in this post…
lmao….should anyone take advice from a pimp tho? I don’t think “pimp logic” goes over well within a relationship. And raise who…..a grown woman? Raise implies that there are children involved. I think a better line would be if you show respect and loyalty you will receive that in return.
A lot of women weren’t raised properly, so sometimes a pimp has got to baptize a woman with pimp wisdom, so she can be born again, and live the good life.
Can Meek Mill’s give me an Amen?
I watched the show and I don’t agree with Erica’s decision but I understand it.
Scrappy has been trifiling for a very long time. Often, men take women for granted, only doing the minimum if that, then get all up in their feelings when you decide to meet them where they are… bare minimum. Honestly, maturity should have stepped in for Erica. Not because she wants to be with Scrappy but because making sure ANYONE who is in that position (about to die) is safe. That’s what mature people do. They look at a situation and choose to do the best thing, not what is “fair”. She is obviously harboring resentment from the past (she said so in not so many words) and needs to first get over that resentment before she can be with someone anyway.
As far as Scrappy, maturing needed to step in for him as well. He has cheated on her again and again and again… and if I’m not mistaken was cheating on her at the time of the incident. However, wisdom will tell you “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”… for him to expect her loyalty through his lack of loyalty throughout their ENTIRE relationship is not only naive but plain old stupid. I don’t think he shouldn’t been THAT upset about it considering the manys he abandoned her in the past and yet she still always found a way to be there.
With that I’ll say… Monica was right in her decision in dealing with Q and his parents situation. To expect her to sacrifice her future to console you for a moment is uhhhh… bwoy please!
“I don’t think he shouldn’t been THAT upset”
-Eww that’s suppose to say “should have…”
I really, really, really want Panama to watch all the episodes and find out if he would have written the same post. I am so curious about that! If he has a little more understanding about the dynamics of their relationship, would he still expect her to be there?
yes. i still would. while i haven’t watched them all i dont need to know that Scrappy is f*cked up. HOWEVER, was erica there when this ninja needed help? and did she NOT administer needed help. yes. and that is f*cked up to me.
i’m not a woman. i’m not going ot tie everything that’s ever happened into my decision to be a decent human being or not. a vast many of the comments have intimated to me that many women will. if i know you and you’ve pissed me off…i’ll help you out…b/c you need itl…i might not be happy about it…lord knows i’ve been in that situation WAY more times than i can count, but my loyalty to you as somebody that i know, respect, and care about requires me to sometimes do sh*t i dont want ot do. period.
oh…and her dumbass should have rolled. some of this is DEFINITELY her own fault.
You are so right!
I love how Erica is expected to be loyal to Scrappy, when he wasn’t loyal to her.
Ninja couldn’t even use his words and tell her that they breaking up. He moved out on some “we’re on a break” steez, meanwhile he’s f*cking with the cowardly lion, and she’s supposed to stop everything and take his azz to the hospital?
Child, boo.
The loyalty ish went out the window when he moved out, and left her and his daughter to fend for themselves.
I don’t watch the show so I’ll dead commenting on any aspects of it from here on end.
What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death?
Any time when you’re creating the foundation for something warrants you to prioritize it over your mate. Whether it be buying a home, education, CAREER (not job), or anything in that vein. In addition, you’re emotional, physical, and mental health takes priority. So if you’ve been in physical pain or feel something has been wrong with you for weeks it is more important to go to the doctor and get it checked out. Same with a therapist session or if you need to admit yourself for your own safety.
Thank you Malik .I am plain SICK of folks dying and almost dying. My mother went out to eat at a restaurant despite having weird symptoms. Someone begged her to go to the ER and turned out she had had strokes.
Health is our wealth people. The moment that making money & grudges because he did that or didn’t do that is more important than health, we end up shocked or gutted when someone dies because they didn’t go to the doctor.
“What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death?”
Thank you for removing the question from the context of ratchetness, because the Scrappy story just cannot be taken seriously.
To answer yor question
* Decsions/ actions that will be to the greater benefit of your mate
* Instances when you can and will truly make it up to them later (you must consider whether you can realistically compensate with a later action)
This is a hard question to think about in the context of a functional relationship. But it’s an important question.
He was currently cheating on her with his “best friend”/side chick (Mo?) and couldn’t even tell his side chick (Mo?) that he and his baby mom (Erica) were physically together DURING his asthma attack. Also, he was having an episode supposedly because he was out all night partying and drinking…she is probably tired of that and his episodes and no longer take them seriously. Still, she is there for him and even trusts him (believes he’s not cheating). I think you might have a bit of a different opinion if you’d seen other episodes.
Didn’t he get into a fight the week before with Stevie J because he called her a b%tch, and risked his probation or something like that. lol Damn, aight I forgot, Eddie Murphy was right all the way back in the 80′s:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmJh0ie6ffY
So loyalty is boiled down to the fact that Scrappy fought for Erika so that makes her obligated to be by his bedside for temporary constricted breathing? It was an asthma attack not a stroke -___- She made sure he made it to the hospital and that he wasn’t dead.
Scrappy’s mother hyped him up to go “check” Stevie in the first place. I’m not privy to whatever rules there are for Respect in the Streets but that’s your perogative if you want to fight someone for calling your baby’s mother out of her name.
Some people have actually died from Asthma attacks before as has been mentioned before. And no, she’s not obligated to do anything for the dude, however, she’s lying if her reason for not going to the hospital, is because her man doesn’t care about her. I don’t know any man who will put himself in harms way, street or not, for a woman he doesn’t give 2 fuks about.
This is kinda related but a lil deeper. Gal 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows…..
from what I have been studying folk mock God by asking HIM for something they will not give. In this case loyalty, asking for it and even expecting it from others, but never giving it. You reap what you sow in most cases btw I don’t watch this show but I gathered this from comments like miss-t-lees.
*head nod*
Love your comment. Especially tying that in with the biblical aspect.
**Sorry for posting this twice but it was supposed to be a stand alone post:
I am thoroughly confused by VSB’s on here empathizing with a VDB which implies means you might not only be a VSB but also a Very Trifling Brotha. Ya’ll can’t have it both ways. Ya’ll act like us women were talking about Michelle Obama telling the secret service there’s no need to alert the ambulance for POTUS who’s clutching his chest on the floor. Really?!! If ya’ll can put yourselves in Scrappy’s trifling sneakers that means ya’ll are awaiting reprisal for something dirty you’ve done to the women in your respective lives. As the cliche goes “Treat others as you would want to be treated.” I have two younger brothers and of course I would lose my mind if either of their girlfriends left them to die. One has children with his girlfriend and God forgive me and God forbid but I wouldn’t surprise is she did something like that. She has been physically (and verbally) abusive towards my brother. And I will never forget when he left work early and rushed over to our parents’ home after finding out their place had gotten burglarized. He put some of the blame on his baby mama because she seemed to pay short shrift to using the alarm system. And coincidentally (or not so) it was all of his stuff that was taken (her gaudy jewelry that were in plain sight remained). He was almost in the fetal position, he was so upset. But he’s still with her. I pray constantly for him.
My other brother just a few weeks ago asked me for advice because he was at that crossroad with his chick. He’s been under a lot of pressure: he’s finishing up school; is now working for himself; had to give up his place and is bouncing back forth from our parents’ place and his girl’s; and barely has a functional car and just to add more on his plate his BFF has been in coma for a month. He felt like his girl was not only minimizing the demands of his life but also trivializing them by complaining and stressing over things that were no where near having-a-friend-in-a-coma territory. On top of that she possibly is unable to have children and that’s also something (as cruel as it may sound) he’s weighing.
So trust me, as a woman, I can empathize with male problems. But Scrappy ain’t that male. I’ve heard more stories about women having being organ donors for the men in their lives (famously: Geore Lopez’s wife-turned-ex and infamously: a female employee to her male boss who eventually fired her) than the other way around. So when a woman tells a man in need you’re on your own that cold heart was hard fought.
This was just an example used. Also, she should leave the relationship. Someone said up thread that when it gets to the point where you are now doing stuff on some hateful tip (like not going to the hospital) then leave the relationship and stop complaining. Granted, i don’t watch the show so there may be more there.
Nope, not buying this one PJ….Scrappy was already feeling Buckey anyway and just from personal experience, if a dude change up on you that quick, it simply means that he already mess with someone else. Why does Erica feel the need to work her a$$ off, what is Scrappy doing?? He ain’t had a hit since 2006. And he’s trying to get out of paying child support?? Erica shouldn’t be expected to be loyal to him if he can’t do the same.
to me not one thing you said has anything to do with not taking a ninja to the hospital who needs to go in an emergency situation.
I was referencing the situation where she was “supposed” to take him to the hospital but overlooked the fact that you have missed a few episodes. To answer your question, no, she didn’t have to. If that makes me an a$$hole, maybe that’s why I’m still single. But the fact is that he can’t expect her to be loyal and pull off wifey duties if he can’t do the same. She made sure that he got there, he’s still breathing and now he’s checked out and fine. Girlfriend/babymomma/the situation duties on point. What’s the problem?
WHEN HAS TAKING A NINJA TO THE HOSPITAL EVER CONSTITUTED A WIFEY DUTY? its a human duty!!!!!!
You see homeless people on the street everyday in DC… they don’t have shelter or food to eat. It ought to be a human duty to take them in your house and feed and clothes them until they can get back on their feet…
Do you do this, PJ? Really? You are willing to go that far for just anyone? At what point do you draw the line? I personally don’t think you owe people who aren’t close and reciprocating your care like that anything. He left her to have a miscarriage alone. I mean really, dude. Why don’t you put that up as today’s post? How a dude going to do that to a woman?
Reading the responses of the majority of women on this column, you’re once again missing the point. If I’m not mistaken, the overall message of the post was that men want you to be “there.” However, a lot of the responses are about why Erica was justified in leaving the ni**a. (side note: you all sure know a lot about the show, even though it’s plan ignorant and beneath any you to watch it.) Which is probably exactly what happens when you aren’t “there” in your relationships.
And this is where in which my problem in dating “sisters” lies. You are never wrong and when you are it’s justified by whatever past mistakes your man, or even the man before him, has made. In the case of Erica and Scrappy (I can’t believe this is even our control group) she doesn’t even know Scrap is messing with Bucky, so how is she justified in leaving him for ish she doesn’t even know he is doing?!
I understand the whole independent, single lady, don’t need no man thing, but a little humility is always appreciated and can do wonders for a relationship.
I’m surprised by the overwhelming “welp” nature from a lot of the female posters. Even trial versions give you a feature or two, yall straight on some you gets no love til you upgrade to the full steez
“And this is where in which my problem in dating ‘sisters’ lies.”
Well, as the saying goes if the grass is greener… And as I peruse my head full of useless and random facts/figures/studies/stats the pairing in America with the most atrocious divorce rates are black men and white women. Guess which pairing has a below average divorce rate? “Sisters” and white men. No white dude would put up with the stereotypes black men claim make “sisters” unmarriageable if they didn’t have to. So black men have to be the common denominator. Again, with my memory: there was a case in which the three white female lovers of a VTB got together and kidnapped him and then glued his d* to his thigh. Again, fly straight and the life you save may be your own.
Jews have the lowest divorce rate actually.
Jews aren’t counted as a separate race but stat noted.
Made of stat!! lol… Or at least not a very good study.
So what about all the other races out there? Why does the default have to be dating a white women?
And for the record before this gets out of the hand and I digitally stoned to death, my girlfriend is a “sister,” a very level headed and objective one. However, and this is only my opinion based on my experiences, black women are too damn defensive. And when I seen the last episode of LHHATL, that’s all I could think of when Erica was talking. I was even more so taken back when she met with the other ladies in the park. Like for real, no one could be objective and tell her that just maybe she was wrong, just a little bit. Nope, they all just reinforced her “you asthmatic and you have asthma attacks” position.
Again, when black men talk about non-black women being better mates I can’t help but chuckle because what makes black men God’s gift to women. If there was a poll of women (both black and non-black) and their perceptions of men they’d want to marry have children according to race. Where do you think black men would rank? Black women and black men are conjoined twins on the stereotype market. You can laugh at my image as Aunt Jemima all you want but Uncle Ben and the Cream of Wheat man are on the other shelf. So if you verify stereotypes about sisters then aren’t you verifying stereotypes about yourself.
“I can’t help but chuckle because what makes black men God’s gift to women.”
You ain’t heard? The Black man is the pinnacle of masculinity. Even rebel flag waving 2520′s and 24/7 strap-on wearing lesbians secretly desire us.
*snickering*
Point taken as to the reinforcement of stereotypes. But at the same time, I can’t ignore my experiences with my black counterparts.
Also, I don’t ever think I eluded to black women being inferior in anyway to other races of women. What I said, paraphrasing, is that I have a problem with the defensiveness and lack of objectivity of black women when it comes to admitting fault. Some how its always justified. Obviously, I can’t marginalize all black women with the character trait, but painfully I’ve ran into many who do.
To the commenter below, your sarcasm is noted. However, I personally do believe successful black men are highly desirable in the dating market. But maybe that just says something about what I think of myself and brothers alike.
Actually, the common denominator in high divorce rates is White women. White women, both in inter- and intraracial marriages, are more likely to divorce than any other single group.
Um, no, I don’t mind quibbles about numbers but black women have higher intra-racial divorce rates than any other race of women. So, sincerely, walk me through this.
You have it reversed, hun. Black women when they marry outside the race have the longer lasting marriages.
Marriages initiated by Black men, however, do not fare well… for women of their own races and even more so with women of other races.
I see a ton of white single mothers with half black chirren running around.
Made up stat!!!
We don’t all feel this way. Again, I don’t know the whole story but if you are with someone, take them to the hospital. Bottom line. You are with their broke a$$ so own up to it.
What I mentioned above was that there were a few scenarios where I felt it was OK not to be there. In Erica’s case, losing her job and some pay (she may get paid very well), would affect her ability to support her daughter which she appears to do alone.
She didn’t know he was messing with Bucky- but she knew he wasn’t committed to her, she knew he spent money at the club that should have gone to their child and she knew he moved out. How much else would she, or any other women, need to know to decide to go to work instead of ride with him to the hospital?
A schoolmate of mine died of an asthma attack behind that kind of thinking. That it wasn’t that serious. It was so serious it killed him. So serious that efforts to medically save his life failed.
The ignorance about asthma is tragic.
There are stories of people dying of asthma in the face of family members not taking it seriously.
I’d have dumped her ass once I got out the hospital. That’s foul. You just don’t do a person like that. How can the person you sleep with, who is the parent of your child be left alone after being rushed to the hospital?
What if his boys had to tell her he died?
Unmanaged asthma kills. If you are not taking your meds regularly including your inhaled steroid, it can. kill. your. ass.
Thank you!
A lot of people are mixing up vengeance with justice.
Imagine if she had to tell child that daddy died and I wasn’t with him when he died, I went to work ?
That requires a perspective that is larger than how you feel at the current moment.
“A lot of people are mixing up vengeance with justice.”
Pure madness! My brother and his son both suffer from these attacks so I know personally how serious they are. A person being all nonchalant during a time like that needs to be donkey and round house kicked up side the head. Furthermore vengeance is not yours ITS THE LORDS!
No one is diminishing the seriousness of having an asthma attack, but the argument here is whether or not she was there for him in his time of need when he is rarely, if ever there for her. She has already been there and done that with him over and over so it’s gotten routine. He used the fact that he has asthma as an ‘out’.
I’m confused (I don’t watch the show, never have). Did she leave him gasping for air while his friend came to take him to the hospital. Like, did he have to wait for transportation while she could have delivered him there faster, or did his friend take him with no delay. On the one hand, I understand his anger if he had to wait (every second counts when you can’t breathe). I choked once and it was the scariest experience I ever been through. On the other hand, (if there was no delay) it shouldn’t matter if she is there or not. She’s not a nurse and, from the comments section, it seems like they weren’t really a couple anyway.
the funny sh*t is that i read her bio and she’s studying to be a MEDICAL TECHNICIAN.
HER JOB IS AT THE HOSPITAL!
LMFAO ROFL *(left for)DEAD*… alla’t.
So… not only was the hospital on the way to work, but it was the destination?
Please tell me THIS is a lie…if not….W-O-W.
Well that’s just cold blooded then. She must have missed the “asthma attacks can be deadly” lesson in Medical Assistant school.
oh.my.g
If a patient piss her off, she gon’ let him die!
Let us be thankful that Scrappy wasn’t in her house gasping for breath and died. She’d be on the news: Woman lets man die of asthma attack: She was angry he cheated and abandoned her.
i agree..
And I’m loyal to those I am sleeping with. If you need to be rushed to the E.R. I am there with you 100%.
As a kid was I the only one who wanted something really horrible (Possibly involving a Peterbilt) to happen to Scrappy Do?
No?
Okay.
I, too, hated Scrappy-doo. With a passion.
*que Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone†and hold hands with Wu and RWC*
We are talking about her taking him to the ER as if its an agreement to marriage.
She can take him to the ER, see that he didn’t die and is ok and then bounce.
I don’t get it.
They aren’t even married, apparently. When I saw “baby’s momma” and “living together” the answer was clear to me. This dude is looking for loyalty from a woman he hasn’t shown commitment to. What ev’s.
“So what do you think? Should she have taken him to the hospital herself or is her job to make sure its taken care of? What are the times when its warranted that you prioritize other stuff above your mate, short of life or death?”
This question is moot. The more important lesson from this scenario is to establish that your mate has your back (since this is such a deal breaker) before you have unprotected sex and babies with her. IJS. How are you going to get all persnickety about her actions AFTER she becomes the mother of your children?
This is the gospel truth. Why would you let someone who you wouldn’t take care of when the chips are down hit it raw? It always amazes me how reckless women are with that, especially when women have more to lose from one reckless encounter than men. If the sum of my fears of getting burned or paying child support make me wanna strap up, why do you value 18 years of your life so little that you’ll let any ninja who looks at you for more than 5 seconds without cursing you out hit it raw?
In this case, I am focusing on the guy because, according to the scenario, he appears to be trying to back-track. He made a permanent choice in having a child/ children with a woman, but after the fact wants to re-examine her and deem her unworthy of a long term bond. In this particular case I think the conditions under which he deemed her unworthy could have been considered before he procreated with her. He didn’t have to have an asthma attack ahead of time, but there are other ways to tell if a woman is genuinely loyal, if you don’t let the s3x distract you.
I see where you’re coming from. Good brain has blinded many a man.
@Black Medici:
“It’s ignorant, it’s entertaining, it makes black people look bad, and worse, black people in America are in too dire of a situation today, to be entertained by our worst, when our best don’t have any voice.”
-I’m so glad you brought that up because this attitude gets on my nerves. I don’t think it’s anyone’s responsibilty to make sure someone is heard but those that look to be heard… I’m speaking in a lot of parables today so why stop now… “closed mouths don’t get fed”. If the “best” don’t have a voice maybe they should go find one. I work hard all day everyday, I like to laugh at others and frankly I couldn’t careless what they look like. I’m cultured enough to know ignorance comes in all shapes, COLORS and sizes. Not to mention, while I can appreciate more positive images of my culture, I’m not so stuck-up to dismiss those like the ones presented on the show even exist. And do you REALLY think not having shows like this will make them go away??? Bwhahahahahaha. Be for real. Can you count the number of opportunities this show has created for people of color now and in the future? How many doors it opens? Do you even know? Do you know how many more black families are and will be able to eat because of this show? My goodness, I know this is VSB and so just by us being here we seem to possess a certain sense of “eliteness” (ha!) but seriously get off your high horse. It’s like the whole Tyler Perry thing… folks wanna get mad at the images he’s putting out there but uh what are YOU doing? Tyler Perry studios employs many people much like VH1 and all those other stations with complete foolishness y’all stick your noses up to… so STFU… witcho judgemental arses.
I’m an individualistic capitalist, lest you know, so if you’re talking about finances or economic opportunities, you’re talking to the choir. That’s not my problem though. You see, the original comment was “Common Sense ain’t Common.” Whether it’s talking about hos or black women’s image in the media, the decline of hip-hop, the ratchedness of our TV shows, most smart and intelligent black people in the blogosphere have that as their M.O. etc, they generally complain about how much the media pulls us down. Now, common sense, says that black people should support things that bring them up, and push those things into the mainstream which will by default pull out the unproductive things that are on the air. Unfortunately, common sense ain’t common.
Well that’s the very problem… I don’t doubt there are instances where the media makes us look worse fine you can have that. I take issue with media outlets reporting on violience in a black community more than they do in equally violent white ones. I take issue with the media manipulating stats to prove slant a story negatively regarding the black community… you know sh*t like that meant to inform and influence. But let’s not cross mingle sh*t. This show was not meant to do anything but entertain. Ugh… grow a sense of humor. And while we’re on the topic what kind of show would YOU like to see huh? Where are these positive uplifting shows you speak of that we need to get behind? The Cosby Show? A Different World?… Family Matters? I don’t know if you noticed but those show aren’t around because… they’re out-dated. And with common sense not being so common and all I guess I should share with you that… it’s not because these shows don’t exist why they aren’t watched it’s because black people would rather complain then find a way to relate positive images to this generation. I’m waiting myself.
Actually I’m not finished yet…
Public figures are not responsible for raising our children or the generations to come. As parents, aunts, uncles… people that genuinely give a sh*t about them- that is our responsibility. I have had enough of the “boycott this show” trend that is going on right now. Guess what while you were organizing the next boycott against a show that you can easily turn the f*CK off, your child was sexting a classmate because you were too busy to TEACH, TALK to and CORRECT your child. That is our problem. We don’t discipline our kids, we don’t talk to our kids and we don’t guide them. It wouldn’t matter what was on tv if we were instilling the right sh*t in our kids in our own d@mn households in the first place.
I agree with you.
I’m just saying that a lot of people who complain about the media, still partake in the things in the media they don’t like. I expect the media to always give people what they consider valuable, regardless of what they say or do. And a lot of people say they hate the way black people are portrayed in the media, and yet watch all the shows that portray black people badly.
Personally, I’m indifferent about the media. I watch only basketball and football on TV. I stream MMA and Boxing fights. I watch movies via Netflix. And I watch shows like Californication, Real Time with Bill Maher and Borgias online from streaming websites. I give the media as much as it gives to me and I ain’t got no problem with it whatsoever, my comment was aimed towards people who do.
Well that’s interesting because you replied to me… and I don’t say one thing and do another. Good day.
… we cool tho.
LOL, I’m open to discrimination by the “Television Elitists”…The fact is even “our worst” will only be entertaining for so long, then it will be something else. I believe Italian people are protesting some of these shows too. I haven’t heard any criticism of the ‘redneck’ programming…yet. Before this it was unrealistic sitcoms, soap operas and game shows, before that..well, I don’t know but this too shall pass. In the meantime, I am entertained.
Actually, WIP, there was a reality show about rednecks called The Real Beverly Hillbillies that was supposed to be on CBS but White Southern folks got irate and CBS scrapped plans for the show.
Hmmm… I didn’t know that. Like I knew about the Italians and Jersey Shore but lol uh look how that turned out. I guess I’m applying a bit of a double standard, I dunno. I’m disappointed a redneck show was cancelled because if we look like @sses they should too and if the same had happened on CBS with a black show and they didn’t cancel it but cancelled the redneck show I would be pissed. Or, maybe I just like balance and in order for there to be balance it all can’t be good. I feel like we don’t get represented enough in the media so when I see a black show or movie I’m excited… and then I’m like well is it good/entertaining/interesting not so much positive, but I don’t wanna be the only ones looking a fool… le sigh.
“…if the same had happened on CBS with a black show and they didn’t cancel it but cancelled the redneck show I would be pissed….”
That’s the thing, CBS and VH1 are both Viacom companies. So Viacom has no problem showing Black people acting like stereotypes on VH1 but backed out of showing White folks as stereotypes on CBS.
Ahhh man.
Maybe it was the placement of it like… it should be pitched for VH1… maybe it will be on VH1… no? Ahhh man 
Are people honestly saying that they won’t take a guy to the hospital who is having an attack simply bc he ain’t worth $hit? Like, of you are staying with someone who isn’t worth a crap (man or woman) you accept responsibility for your decision to be with them in a relationship and take them to the hospital. Regardless of if that is your husband or wife.
We all can’t be this heartless and I do believe that a lot of us are speaking from anger of what he put this chick through vs us actuallsebring in the situation.
If someone was dying or badly hurt regardless of how that individual treated me in the past or even if they have made themselves a foe( love thy enemy) I would take them to the hosp or see that they get medical attention, that is just being a decent human being, holding vigil would be a stretch, but I would make sure they are ok.
What I expressed upthread was an expectation of loyalty when one has never been loyal, that’s different has nothing to do with vengence or justice.
I agree. You do reap what you sow but i am not going to be here to teach you a lesson in your time of need. Now afterwards, when you are all good, you may get an ear full.
“Are people honestly saying that they won’t take a guy to the hospital who is having an attack simply bc he ain’t worth $hit? ”
Why would anyone say that? According to PJ, the woman in question made sure Scrappy got to the hospital, and was tended to buy a male friend, but she didn’t stay there with him.
Just from reading some of the comments, people are saying they wouldn’t take dude to the hospital or stay to make sure he was ok. That’s just wrong. And the reason why they are saying it is b/c he is crap. She chose to be with crap. Suck it up.
Yeah, I am really taken aback by some of the comments. This is a person’s LIFE regardless of what the history is there. Man, I can’t pass someone on the road standing in the rain without turning around and offering my umbrella…this is a man she actually knew…that is insane. Is this what we have come to? W-O-W!
I do believe so. I am shocked a man or woman would do this to anyone.
Let that mofo die! lmao… nah, mena. I mean look at my story up thread. I did go to the hospital when the ex was in a car accident. Obviously, at the time, I cared about him as a human being and as the father of my children. I guarantee you it would not be like that in this present day and time. Hells no. Today, if that mofo was having a cardiac arrest (& I used to teach CPR and worked on a resuscitation team back in the day) I would not even attempt to save his arse unless my kids were around. I know that sounds cold, but this mofo tried to take my life. He doesn’t deserve to have me save his.
“Let that mofo die!” LOL!!! Man, i just pictured you saying this all types of ghetto!! In your situation, you did what i probably would have done. I guess what i am getting at is this, if you are in a relationship with someone and that person needs to go to the hospital, you take them to the hospital and you stay to make sure that they are good.
Some of the women on here are like just drop him off or let his friends take him simply b/c he isn’t worth 2 craps. I just find that mentality to be wrong. You should have dropped his behind a LONG TIME ago before it got to the point where you don’t care if dude is fine or not. That’s just heartless to me. Like who really does that?
“if you are in a relationship with someone and that person needs to go to the hospital, you take them to the hospital and you stay to make sure that they are good.”
Agreed. I actually do have a heart (tho I can switch to an uncaring mode dependent on the situation) and would take my Mr. the hospital if it weren’t a life threatening situation. Otherwise, I would call an ambulance to transport him. I would do this for anyone. Even though I have not been in nursing in YEARS, I actually do provide aid in emergency situations quite often. I have this knack for driving up on car accidents and other types of incidents. I actually don’t even think about it, I just go into action and do what is necessary at that moment. It’s basically automatic without much thought.
And that’s exactly the point.
Thanks for telling us all about you..really helped move the discussion along
I watch the show on occasion. Seems like they are in a shadow relationship (sorry I’m a DC resident and we have our mayoral drama), meaning that neither is really in it to win it. I think this applies to the Q and Monica scenario as well. There is not enough trust/belief from either side that this person has they’re front, side and back and would give their all, sacrifice for them, drop everything, put it on the line – if need be. So because they won’t, then you don’t. I think Erica did a cost benefit analysis of the situation and based on Scrappy’s past actions, current actions, possible future actions, she figured if tables were turned would he do the same for her? And the answer she came up with is no. So she went on ‘head to work.
basically. And to top it all off, in the next scene he all boo-ed up with Bucky talking bout being in a relationship with her! Then on next week episode he talking bout “not getting around to paying child support”. What they both need to do is let bygones be bygones and realize they are not good for each other. I would never have taken has arse back after that diamond mess. Men expect women to bend over backwards for them but rarely is that loyalty given back. Negro please.
Is this Clutch magazine? I’m going to have to….. LEAVE THIS THREAD FOR DEAD !!!
)
I’m on the fence about this situation. As a person with asthma, I know its no joke when you can’t breathe. The situtation can go from easily handled to emergency to death so quickly so its not something you play with. So in that case I don’t think Erica was right. She could’ve rolled with him to the hospital, called his boy to stay with him, called her job to say she was gonna be late and dipped once he was admitted or seen in the hospital. She was obligated as a human being to take him, but not obligated to stick around.
On the other hand, Scrappy’s treatment of Erica warranted the negative actions she gave him. If we are to do unto others as we want done unto us, then Scrappy’s arse wanted to be done dirty cause thats what he’s doing to her. His repeated offenses as a boyfriend to Erica has caused her to as he says “not be affectionate” towards him. He wants her to trust him and take him back and treat him like a king and be loyal, yet he is not showing that he is worthy of any of those actions. He did wrong, if he truly wanted to be back home he would act like it.
Their situation is the only one on LHHATL that is actual reality because so many women and men are in these limbo relationships where there is no trust, honesty, loyalty or love. If something is broken and neither party wants or knows how to fix it, then moving on is the best option.
So in that case I don’t think Erica was right. She could’ve rolled with him to the hospital, called his boy to stay with him, called her job to say she was gonna be late and dipped once he was admitted or seen in the hospital. She was obligated as a human being to take him, but not obligated to stick around.
but how do we know she had that kind of time? what if she had to be at work in 20 minutes. what if she isnt salaried and is hourly and only has like 4 hours of sick time.left, what if she already has attendance issues. Her responsibility was to get him taken care of.. and she did that. she called his boy made sure he was straight. I dont get why its expected that as grown man who has probably been in the hospital off and on for this his whole life required more.
oh i forgot his over dramatic a.s.s mammy
We don’t know if she had that time or what her attendance at work is like. She obviously made the best decision for herself (not Scrappy) at that time and since hindsight is 20/20 she may feel differently about how she handled it. Or not.
i guess I still need to knw this If she is the one that called his boy and made sure he was in good hands with someone he trusted to go to the hospital. and she was able to get to work and get her child squared away why is this not enough?
why is that not being there? yall acting like she threw the deuces and he had to crawl to the phone and use his last #breafs to call the 911
she took care of a difficult situation the best she could.
Whats so wrong about her not leaving until his friend came to take him to the hospital? SHe didn’t leave him alone to die by himself. She helped him and then took care of her own life. I believe that if their relationship was more loving and consistent, with him holding up his part (financially, faithfully) she probably would have not considered her job… however she acted as a good samaritan (doing the minimum) and made sure he got there. She doesn’t have to ride with him if she didnt want to…which its obvious she didn’t.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P is acting like ole girl stomped on him, hid all his inhalers, and kicked him in the ribs before leaving him to get to her job. GTFOHWTBS.
she did!! it was in the outtakes!
*slain*
Thank you A and Shad-d-lady. I too didn’t watch the episode. But as is often there’s always his side, her side and the truth and that’s how I’m approaching the topic. Also, now that I think about the whole gender angle is so wrong. I mean the post presumes that if the shoe were on the other foot that Scrappy and most men would do the “right” thing. Gender has nothing to do with this issue. So Panama talking about how such a scenario would be cause for dumping a woman, well isn’t that a given for anybody. Men and women value someone being there in that time of need. I mean I remember watching an episode of the Tyra Show about women who didn’t know they were pregnant suddenly giving birth. And one guest described how she woke up with intense cramps and went to the bathroom. But they were so severe that she told her husband that she was going drive herself to the ER (?!). She didn’t make it to her car because she passed out in front of their condo and a neighbor ended up calling ambulance and she ended up giving birth on the lawn. And I remember thinking to myself “Why in the hell didn’t your husband get up out of bed and take you to the hospital?” (They were a white couple) I think Tyra broached the subject too and I believe the woman said her husband had to go to work so she didn’t want to disturb him. So this has nothing to do with gender and even if I had to place a wager I’d bet that women are more responsive to emergency situations no matter who’s involved than men are.
I’m not excusing dude, and since we weren’t there, we can only speculate, but did it ever occur that perhaps when the wife told the husband how she felt, she never explained it in a way that she wanted to alarm him, rather described it as something she could handle herself?
Yeah, she probably thought she could handle it until she…well…went into labor. Crazy situation.
I don’t watch this show again but this is what I gathered from most of the comments. So why is loyalty even being brought up here today?
Im a recent follower to this site and i have to say this post got me laughing!! I have never seen this show but have read a lot of info about it and it sounds…. interesting shall we say! lol But to answer ur question i think she should have gone with him, but maybe could have gone to work after finding out if he’s ok and/or gonna live! wouldn’t have hurt and would show his life is important!! lol
does anyone else hear the circus music as the carousel turns round and round again? does anyone want to get off this ride? or is this ride their raison d’etre?
not i. lol.
LOL Well, you know I’m bout that —> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc
Hey Everyone, I was wondering how to post a picture
Can’t believe there are almost 700 comments geared towards a topic regarding Love & Hip-Hop that somehow spawned into the responsibilities of two people in a relationship (allegedly, as quite a few of you people got warped perceptions of how relationships are supposed to work and who does what more, men or women).
Oye.
Erica is the only woman on that show with some sense! She not taking Scrappy BS and she shouldn’t, considering how he’s been getting buckwild with Buckey. He’s grown enough to “put the paws” on somebody, but crying because of an astma attack. Erica did right to go to work. Scrappy has NO job and NO hits, Erica needs to go to work to support their child since he can’t.
I only got to read of few of the comments far. But should she of taken him to the hospital? Maybe but I honestly don’t know. After reading the back story of the situation between the 2, maybe she was just done with him & really didn’t care if he lived or died. Was she wrong for not taking him to the hospital? Maybe.
Bu the idea of a woman going missing when her man needs her & that’s her f*ck is a bit much, I think. If you’re half in a relationship, that person will half been there. If you’re all in, then the other person will be all in.
She is always going to have the title of being his “baby” momma. Just on the strength of THAT she should have been more caring and informed about asthma. After all, a child could inherit medical conditions from mom and dad.
“Point is, ladies…if your man is in the bed next to you AND CAN’T BREATHE…take him to the hospital yourself, mmkay pumpkin? Not doing so would be the one area where you, as his woman, are totally f*cked up.”
But what if he ain’t your man? I don’t think the dude in this situation classifies as her man. And she certainly ain’t his woman.
Unless we are willing to say those terms don’t mean anything until it’s convenient.
That asthma attack could’ve been the last attack. When you’re in the hospial things can go wrong quick. Asthma should not be taken likely because you can DIE. Whats wrong with the girl!!! Scrap needed to give her the boot. You could tell how they went from living together and trying to make it work to he needs his own space and now its over. Well, Stevie Wonder could’ve seen that one coming,
As someone with asthma, that sh*t is serious. On a pure humanity level she should have taken him to the hospital.
I dont watch Love and Hip Hop so I cant comment on whatever the hell Scrappy and his girl went through but I will say that the “you forgot to be there” scene is one of the many reasons why I am the only 25 yr old black woman who *hates* the movie Love and Basketball. Yep I said it. Quincy was selfish and childish AF for expecting Monica to miss curfew and thus not start the game the next day to be with him. I know he was hurting and wanted her comfort but she needed to take care of her responsibilities. But men want to claim she showed she wasnt down for him. GTFOH.
All I know is “You left my baby fo dead!”
I totally agree with Panama. She should not have left “Scrap” (Why is this grown man’s name Scrappy anyway?). She could have went to work a little late or even got the day off. It’s called FMLA (Although, they are not really “family”, she could have made it work.) She already knew how it felt to be left in a medical crisis, (she said that he left her in the hospital when she had a miscarriage), so she should have sympathized with the man. She is very disconnected with her feelings.
That relationship was doomed to fail anyway.
BTW, this is my first time commenting, but I’ve been reading for months!
I’m a woman BTW.