1. Everything about this video is what it should be. From the grainy video with the meme splashed across it to the fact that it goes on about two minutes longer than it should and this grandmother has on a church hat. The fact that I can’t even really tell if this somebody’s grandmother or David Mann. It’s all exactly what it should be. Lest we forget that this is a selfie video. Why does this exist? It exists because somebody’s motherfucking grandmother is in love with the coco.
2. EASTSIDE WESTSIDE SUICIDE POP!
3. The fact that is woman (or David Mann) has that church rile-em-up voice and a knack for appropriate ad-libs suggests that she definitely sings in somebody’s choir somewhere. If I had my guess I’d think somewhere in LA or the Midwest, possibly Arkansas. I have absolutely nothing to base this on. Fight me. Point is, she is clearly singin’ in somebody’s house of the Lord but when she gets home, she’s about that life. In fact, I’d be willing to bet all the money you have in your wallet that this woman has sold drugs or at least holds them thangs for her wayward grandkids. The coco is paying her bills.
4. Shit like this extends the shelf-life of songs for at least another month.
5. Real question: what would you do if you went to your grandmother’s house only to walk in and hear and see her filming herself getting her life in this fashion? Do you leave? Do you pray? If your grandmother says “bitch I got baking soda! ARM-N-HAMMER!” how do you respond? If she says “BITCH DO YOU GOT BAKIN’ SODA? ARM-N-HAMMER?” do you say “yes” or go out and get some out of fear?
6. Realer question: This grandmother is shouting out gang shit. So I’m going to go ahead and hand this off to LA as somebody’s OG grandmother. How do we feel about finding out about our grandmother’s gang ties and activities? If somebody walked up to your meemaw and referred to her as a triple OG from the Rollin’ 60s and she put on a White Sox cap, would you immediately respect her more or would you never want to be seen with her again? I’m really on the fence with this one though I’m inclined to say I’m gonna ask my grandmother to jump me into the set.
7. The meme splashed on this video is emblematic of why Black people will never lose the pop culture race. It says, “When Your Grandma a ex drug dealer gang banger & saved“. Grammatical issues aside, isn’t that pretty much EXACTLY what this video screams? The ability for Black people to siphon visuals down to their comedic essence while ALSO snarking the fuck out of shit like this is what makes us Black gold. Let’s be clear, this video should not exist. But since it does, I’m glad that we understand EXACTLY what it is. It is a hot fucking mess. It’s also going to spread like hot fire because it should.
8. Now, it should spread because things like this spread. On the other hand, it should probably be locked in a vault somewhere and never let out because somebody is going to catch the rude awakening of a lifetime when they see their grandmother on Tosh 2.0. I mean, sure this grandmother is cool enough to know who OT Genasis is and be aware that this song is made for singing along and ad-libbing. In fact, G-ma (see what I did there?) is probably a hit at karaoke. On the other hand, your grandmother is not only harder than you, she’s out here doing shit like this at home when she’s bored which means who knows what she’s doing when she AIN’T filming. This is the epitome of being embarassed by your family. It’s cool because it aint my grandmother. Grandmothers need to do grandmother things like crochet blankets with “187 on a mothafuckin’ cop” on them and bake cookies. Not be fuckin’ Cookie.
9. Thanks, Obama.