A week or so ago, our favorite least favorite (and newly single) professional athlete was spotted at The Watch The Throne concert with professional wifey Sanaa Lathan. Now, whether they just happened to run into each other there or were filming Loving Brown Sugar Basketballs Just Wright has yet to beÂ determined, but apparently they were quite cozy. So cozy in fact that they were reported to be togethertogether, a rumor Lathan quickly shut down.Â
Can a girl have some fun at a jayz/kanye concert w/out being linked 2 a breakup? I AM NOT, NEVER HAVE BEEN, INVOVLED W/KOBE IN ANY WAY.
Whether they’re actually an item or not doesn’t matter to or interest me. They’re both rich, famous, black, and named after yoga poses, so I guess they’d be a good match. What does interest me, though, is the assumption that Kobe wouldn’t touch Sanaa in a million years, a sentiment she reiterated in her next tweet.
@justsanaa:Â Anybody who pays attentionÂ knows I’m not his type… Blank stare. #blackgirlsrock #dontbelievetheliesÂ¹
What exactly was she getting at? I mean, we’re all pretty certain that, despite his propensity for prolonged bitchassness, Kobe isn’t homosexual. He definitely does like women, so why wouldn’t he be interested in a woman as good-looking as Sanaa Lathan?
Ohhh, I get it now. Kobe was married to a non-black woman for a decade. This must mean that he’s definitely, automatically,Â unequivocally, and unquestionably not attracted to black women at all.
Now, I don’t know Kobe at all. He may very well hate black women with the white hot heat of 1000 AKA thongs. His favorite movies might be “The Imitation of Life,” “Othello,” and “Jungle Fever,” and his favorite animal might be the panda bear. Who the hell knows? I do know, though, that the widely held “fact” that if a black man dates outside of his race, it automatically means he’s not into black women is completely f*cking wrong.
Admittedly, I do understand where this sentiment comes from and why it’s so widely held. Centuries of having to deal with people likeÂ Satoshi KanazawaÂ can produce a circle-the-wagons mentality where any affront to black women’sÂ desirability — real or perceived — is met with immediate rebuke. Also, there are some black men who, as soon as they reach a certain status level, put sistas onÂ permanentÂ “ignore.” (This doesn’t happen as often as many of us think it does, but it does happen.)
Thing is, this theory ignores two vital facts.
1. Proximity andÂ availabilityÂ are easily the two most important factors when men are choosing mates. If you see a black man with a non-black women, 9 times out of 10 it’ll be because she happened to be around, happened to be single, and happened to be interested in him. That’s it. No self-loathing. No hatred of black skin. No angry tweets about Michelle Obama’s gums.
And, most importantly…
2. Women are all the same.Â
Now, I’ve made no secret of my love, adoration, and admiration of black women. I’m completely attracted to and infatuated with them. Sistas are the sh*t and sh*t. Â But, when it comes down to what makes a woman a woman, I also do realize that black women, white women,Â AsianÂ women,Â HispanicÂ women, Indian women,Â aboriginalÂ women, and women fromÂ DetroitÂ aren’t really all that different. Sure, from an individual perspective they all have their own personal quirks and characteristics and nuances, but collectively all chicks are pretty much the same. (I feel the exact same way about men, btw.Â DespiteÂ my world-renownedÂ awesomeness, there’s really no difference between me and some random New Zealand-ass n*gga.)Â
I’m bringing this up because, once you realize that women aren’t really all that different from each other, you start to see how a man could be equally attracted to Jill Scott and Natalie Portman. (If you think this is too far-fetched of a comparison, you obviously don’t know me very well, and you obviously didn’t click on those last two links) In fact, you start to understand how a man could date/marry a white women even if he’s still much more attracted to sistas. Sh*t, I love female teachers, but that doesn’t mean that I’d never date a lawyer. (That last analogy was much more clever in my head than it is on screen, but I think you get my point.)
Anyway, people of VSB.com, I’m curious: When you see a black man with a non-black woman, do you automatically assume he’s just not that into sistas?Â Do you think you’re right to feel that way? If so, why, and how many hugs did you miss as a child?Â¹This tweet has since been deleted