Race & Politics

Yeah, Bill de Blasio Is Trolling The Hell Out Of Internet Conservatives

Look, I’d be lying if I said I’d heard of either Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr before today. But since, according to Schools Chancellor Carmen Farina, hundreds of thousands of New York City public school kids are Muslim, it makes perfect, logical, and practical sense to close schools on the days these holidays are observed. This isn’t Nicole Beharie Day — the holiday I attempted (and, unfortunately, failed) to make a thing after the first time I watched American Violet. No, these are actual holy days in an actual religion that a billion or so actual people actually belong to.

Again, this makes perfect, logical, and practical sense.

Which means that “Conservatives On The Internet” — not “real people conservatives” but the embryonic organism found in Greyhound bathroom toilet seat crevasses and Ted Cruz Facebook fan pages — hate the everlasting shitty shit out of it.

(From the comments section of a place called “NewsMax”)

“The next thing we know, the good Mayor will be wanting to establish Shariah courts in the City of New York. I guess we will soon need to refer to that great city now in decline as “Yorkistan.”

“What a nice gesture by Mayor DiCommio. Now the youngsters who practice the religion of peace can spend some extra time learning how to build bombs.”

(And, my personal favorite)

“what a piece of poo dirt…”

Similar conversation threads can be found today on Facebook, Twitter, and any website that has published the word “Benghazi” between 17,000 and 262,00o times in the last three years. Which makes me sad when I think of all the ignorance out there. And happy again when I think of how mad they’ll be when President Obama makes Jeremiah Wright’s birthday a holiday next. (And even happier when realizing someone is going to find that last sentence in a Google search and believe it.)

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Ray Jefferies

    Conservatives enraged eh? Let the froth of their hate cover them like a wet bubbly blanket forever more. So let it be written, so let it be so.

    • Wild Cougar

      Hear! Hear!

  • Jiovan

    Some of those comments you can’t do anything but shake your head at. What year did America actually become so politically divisive? I can always remember people talking about politics but it’s to the point now that people associate EVERYTHING with your parties ideology.

  • Cleojonz

    I live in CT but in a suburb where there are a lot of NYC commuters it’s so close, so I hear ALOT about DeBlasio. I can tell you for a fact that Jews HATE DeBlasio. My boss is as bleeding heart liberal as they come and if you bring up DeBlasio you get pursed lips and eye rolling. This right here – the audacity to try and celebrate an Islamic holiday is tantamount to treason in their eyes and a direct attack to the Jewish state.

    • Animate

      But they recognize Jewish holidays in NYC…I’m almost certain of this.

      • Cleojonz

        They definitely do celebrate the high holy days, here where I live as well.

      • Yes, but hey, Jewish people run the world after all lol.

    • jess-s

      New York City public schools have long closed for major Jewish holidays such as Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur as well as the Christian holidays of Christmas and Good Friday according to ABC news.

      Im not sure what’s the problem?

      • Cleojonz

        This is true. It’s called double standards. It’s not the idea that they will recognize the an Islamic holiday I don’t think. It’s kind of like how when Obama said he would not unilaterally support every decision Israel makes and then Jews sort of started to wane in their support of his presidency.

        • jess-s

          Lived in Philly with tons of Jews and now live in CT with tons of Jews. It’s their inherent disposition and some fail to recognize they are in America and they are equal to everybody…

          • Cleojonz

            Me too! Are you in Southern CT by any chance? I’m in Fairfield County.

            Worse was what happened in MD. When Muslims asked for a holiday to be recognized in the school system rather than do so they just stripped all references to religious holidays opting to just call them winter break etc.

      • Folks don’t like it when everyone is as “special” as they are.

        • jess-s

          what’s so special? lol

          • I couldn’t tell you. 3/4 fourths of the planet thinks they are snow flakes and the other quarter thinks they are unicorns.

      • sweetli30

        Thank you!

        Back in the day in NY, it felt like every other day in September we were off because of some jewish holiday. So why not muslim holidays?

    • MrsT

      It baffles my mind the way [some of] God’s Chosen People ridicule and persecute Muslims for their very existence, the same way…

      • Cleojonz

        It’s even more baffling because if you know Israelis and Muslims from other middle eastern countries they are so alike it is not even funny.

        • nillalatte

          You have a point. There is a difference in the Arab Jew, Ashkenazim Jew, and Zionist. This is why I am increasingly curious about the mixtures and mentalities. They are VERY different.

          Iran recently unveiled a memorial for… wait for it… Jewish hero’s! Gasp! What? Iran? The country that routinely shouts “Death to Israel?” BTW, that phase will probably get picked up by one of those No Such Agencies web crawlers.

          Here’s the article:
          http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2014/12/18/iran-unveils-a-memorial-honoring-jewish-heroes/

          Folks think that it is all about religion, but in essence, it’s more about politics with the rally call to stir up religious animosity.

          • Cleojonz

            Thanks for sharing this article. I had no idea there was that large a population of Jews in Iran. I never would have though that.

  • miss t-lee

    I love it.

  • Every time I read someone invoking the “Sharia law” complaint/slight/whatever the eff, I think of the Princess Bride: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

    Wasn’t a bill just proposed in Oklahoma to ban AP History in high school because the lawmakers feel that the course doesn’t teach American exceptionalism or that it teaches only the “bad” things about this country? Like, if we’re tossing around terms like “sharia law,” wouldn’t a bill like the Oklahoma one be, iono, closer to the definition of sharia?

    • Real People Conservatives simply hate liberals and progressives.

      Online Conservatives are Hitler and Mussolini wannabes who just want to avoid the bad PR.

  • SH

    The definition of privilege – my stuff is the standard everything else is people being politically correct.
    Back in December I told this guy happy holidays at work and he said “why not just say Merry Christmas? Why are you so PC” and I’m like boy bye Christmas despite being commercialized is still a Christian holiday and everybody ain’t Christian -__-

  • MeridianBurst

    The ONLY way you could get a conservative person out of their shell is if you excessively trolled them with their every fear. It’s the worst feeling ever but it’s like losing a moral virginity, and it has to be done at some point. It’s like ripping a band aid off.

  • arafat

    It’s a start. I always find it ironic how the US portrays itself as an all inclusive country especially in matters religion but travelling through a lot of other countries mainly “supposedly backwards” African nations and you see all of these different religions outwardly displaying their beliefs without a fear of backlash and all religions holidays are equally honored by the nations as public holidays for all.

  • Pinks

    We used to have something called Brooklyn and Queens Day, for fack’s sake, when kids would get the day off for who knows what.

    It’s like Islam might as well be the Third Reich in some folks’ minds. I can’t stand people.

    • nillalatte

      Ha! Kids in NV have Nevada Day off from school. It usually coincides with Halloween because Nevada Day is the 1st of November (I think). So, they get all day on Halloween sometimes.

  • nillalatte

    Welp, I missed this post, but I did read the article that the Mayor was recognizing Eid al-Adha and Eid al-Fitr in the school calendar. I have no quarrel with the implementation of the holidays to the calendar and I really do think more school systems should follow. I’m sure you know that Islam is the 2nd largest religion in the US, so if there are going to be Jewish holidays and Christian holidays, let there be Islamic holidays. Neither Christians or Jews should have a problem with Eid al-Adha.

    “Eid al-Adha marks the willingness of Ibrahim (Abraham in Judaism and
    Christianity) to sacrifice his son for God. Eid al-Fitr marks the end of
    Ramadan – the month of sunrise-to-sunset fasting. Both days are
    typically celebrated with morning prayers, family celebrations, gift
    exchanges, and gathering for a traditional feast. The dates of both holy
    days shift each year, in accordance with the lunar calendar.”

    Ramadan was the month of revelations in which the Qur’an was received by Muhammad. The entire month is a holy month. Eid al-Fitr is celebrated for 3 days, so the 1 day off is a bit short, but nice.

    People do not realize that Islam has been in the US for a very long time and possibly first came to America during the slave trade as many Africans had already converted to Islam centuries before. Bilal was the first African and a slave to convert to Islam. He was also the first to initiate the call to prayer.

    People are bent about America being put under Sharia or Islamic law. What they fail to recognize is that many of the laws of the US are already comparable to Sharia. Folks need to study more, but I haven’t found a whole lot of intelligence in a majority of the population from any culture.

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