Y’all Do Realize Floyd Mayweather Is Gonna Kick Conor McGregor’s Ass, Right? » VSB

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Y’all Do Realize Floyd Mayweather Is Gonna Kick Conor McGregor’s Ass, Right?

The lead up to the Mayweather/McGregor fight Aug 26th has been fascinating. Two aggressively annoying and arrogant and lilliputian men — one a quasi-illiterate domestic abuser and the other either a racist or someone just fine with donning a racist’s costume (which is just as bad as a racist) — attempting to out-douche each other is like watching a house centipede and an albino cockroach wrestle. Sure you’ll watch, but you just want them both to lose somehow and never be seen in your home again. And you’ll feel all itchy and crawly and shit for the rest of the night.

Also, this is very, very stupid. Not the build up and the hype. (Although that’s very, very stupid too.) But that this fight is even happening. And even that it’s been billed as a fight.

Regardless of how you feel about Floyd Mayweather’s solid fuckboy bonafides, it’s without question that he’s one of the best boxers ever. Yes, he’s a few years past his prime. But that merely downgrades him from “maybe the best in his class ever” to “maybe just the best in his class right now.” Conor McGregor is an MMA fighter who boxed some several years ago. This is not a fair fight. It’s not even McGregor bringing a knife to a gunfight. It’s McGregor bringing a fucking feather.

And in order to explain how doomed McGregor’s race-baiting ass is going to be, I need to tell you a quick story.

As many of you already know, I “played” division one college basketball. (And “played” is in quotations because a pastichio of injuries and apathies made my career whatever the level below “underwhelming” happens to be.) And while I’m almost two decades past my personal athletic prime, I still hoop pretty regularly, and I’m still quite good. If you’re reading this and you think you can hoop a little, there’s a ninety-five to ninety-eight percent chance that, at 38, I’ll still bust your ass.

There’s a regular Thursday night pick-up game I’ve been a part of for over a decade now. The regulars range from 25 to 60; most are former college athletes who relish those Thursdays as a rare opportunity to keep that competitive fire going. It’s also an open gym. Anyone can play — although if you call too many fouls or play too little d or take too many ill-advised shots, you might not get invited back — so you never know who might decide to show up. And for a two month stretch last summer, Chevon (Chevy) Troutman — a former star at the University of Pittsburgh who played professionally in Europe for 10 years — came pretty regularly.

Now, I’ve known Chevy since we both played in the Connie Hawkins Summer Basketball League when we were both in college. He’s obviously continued playing at a high level, and I’ve replaced the daily workouts and Mikan drills with wifi hot spots and milkshakes. Basically, he’s a professional basketball player. And while I can still hoop, I’m not. The distinction between the two was made painfully clear when he’d show up to Thursday Night Hoops, and would basically be a terrifying hybrid of Kevin Durant, Kyle Lowry of the Toronto Raptors, and an actual velociraptor. Remember, these pick-ups are comprised of former college athletes with a few gallons of game and guile and pride left in the tank. And Chevy would do whatever the fuck he wanted against us. Like, he was so physically dominating that when we tried to foul him, we’d get hurt.

Anyway, in order to believe this taunting Irish dandy has any chance of beating arguably the best boxer ever in a fucking boxing match with boxing rules and boxing judges in a boxing ring, you either need to be so blinded by (admittedly justified) hate of Floyd that you can’t see straight or you’re complete unaware of the astronomical and astronomically ridiculous distance between “professional athlete” and “someone good at a sport.”

Or maybe you just saw Rocky too many times, and you believe Try Hard Whiteness is all McGregor needs to beat the Black boogeyman. But you’re forgetting one thing: Rocky was a boxer too.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Giantstepp

    “….and I’ve replaced the daily workouts and Mikan drills”

    Ha! Mikan Drills? Man, I haven’t thought about that in years. I too am a former player, Division II, tho –and I was All League HS. I am 6’7, 50 pounds heavier, 46 years old and I “retired” way too soon, so I will give you a slight edge based on those factors. A slight one.

    And I’ve NEVER been on The Money Team (TMT), but I am riding with them 100 percent on this one. I hope Floyd punishes him for 7 or 8 rounds, then knocks that a$$ out.

    • AKA The Sauce

      Is this what y’all mean by humble brag?

      • MissRosé

        You recognize it, don’t you OG?

        • mr. steal your costco samples

          i also am 6’13 and i barely bench 400 any more

        • AKA The Sauce

          I’m just here for snacks…I don’t want no trouble lol

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Imma replace my avi with a pic of my All American plaques for the culture

      • Giantstepp

        No bragging my G. This was an answer to Damon’s basketball challenge, and size always factors in which is why I mentioned. Just a part of the game . Been my size minus the extra weight since Jr. High and I am not impressed. Too hard to find decent jeans. All context related.

        • AKA The Sauce

          I’m just joking ….it’s Friday. But it was funny you mentioned being All State. Reminded me of something I would say to another baseball player.

          • Giantstepp

            Aye, man– I’m like Al Bundy constantly mentioning scoring 4 touchdowns in one game– all I got is that HS glory! Let me be great. lol

            We good, bruh.

            • BrothasKeeper

              6′, 201 lbs., and I got a slew of……band trophies.

  • Nametaken

    Before I finish the rest of the article, props to you for using the word “lilliputian”.

  • Connor been talkin crazy slick lately.

  • On another note, If I see you on the court, these nearly 37 year old knees are coming for YOU!!!!( For about 20 minutes)

    • Michelle is my First Lady

      Make sure you stretch first.

  • Epsilonicus

    Floyd probably won’t seriously hurt McGregor but he will win.

    • Mr. Mooggyy

      It definitely will not be a KO like Floyd is claiming! He’s definitely going to put on a boxing clinic though!

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Floyd’s hands are too brittle to hand Connor the KO he deserves

  • Sigma_Since 93

    I’m waiting for Floyd to go all Great White Hype (see pic below for the youth who don’t get the reference) on Connor and still whup dat azz https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6095abdf0fc9a011bde31328a84c54f914fc51b4e48b05c1de44b9023b7d3208.png

    • SB

      All the upvotes for the Great White Hype reference. Such an underrated movie. I don’t care for boxing. It’s barbaric to me. But I do enjoy the camaraderie of fight parties. That being said, Connor def gonna get that azz tapped.

      • raul

        I’m about 99% certain that movie is where they got this idea from.

  • AKA The Sauce

    Conor has been like this…nothing new here. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if Floyd is in on it as a way to make some extra money. I don’t really care how this goes down but it would be nice for someone to actually win something they are supposed to win in 2017. That said…I don’t have much faith.

    • Mr. Mooggyy

      What up OG!

      But according to Floyd, he got a $100M check he ain’t eem cash yet.

      • AKA The Sauce

        Yo!!!

        True but he gone be 29 mil short when he do cash it. Aren’t there expiration dates on checks?? Should be.

  • No one honestly thinks Connor can win. Like I told Ruby the other day “I’m sad that this is a thing.”

    Sadly, this will overshadow GGG/Canelo, and actual good fight. The “eff you” suit was the most interesting thing that has happened surrounding this whole sh*t show.

    As for the racial aspects- that’s just boxing. Boxing sans race would be like politics sans class. It’s ingrained at this point.

    I don’t like either guy. ‘Scuse me I despise both men but Floyd irks me more so I won’t pull for either and probably won’t watch.*

    *The only way I would every pull for Floyd would be if he fought Adrienne Bronner.

    This is a clown show.

    • You know, it almost wouldn’t be boxing if it wasn’t a little racist.

      • You can’t escape it.

      • miss t-lee

        All the way back to Jack Johnson.

      • cdj

        That’s why Floyd has to win. Look, Trump won and the Patriots won. We can’t take this L.

        • JulianWithTheRedCorvette

          I really don’t like the idea that Floyd Mayweather, living proof that good things happen to bad people, losing this fight would be a collective L for black folks.

          • cdj

            You have to put it in context of the wins I just mentioned. You see how white folks are acting with Trump in office. Let McGregor win, they might start thinking they can go around punching out black people;-) Some already do. I’m tired of racists winning.

            • JulianWithTheRedCorvette

              Have white peoples been acting different? To be honest, I haven’t seen much evidence of that; they been acting the same as they were for years before Trumpito got elected. (Of course, I live in the part of Georgia that’s not Atlanta so that might have something to do with it.)

              Also, why’d you throw the Patriots in there? I hate football so that went over my head.

              • cdj

                They seem to be bolder in their disdain for us.

                I said the Patriots because the team owner and Trump are buddies, and I think it’s one of the whiter teams in the NFL.

          • “losing this fight would be a collective L for black folks.”

            We’ll manage.

            • MakesMeWannaShoopShoopShoop

              Like the Falcons? I shall see myself out

    • Jae Starz

      I cannot stand Bronner. Like I would fight him if I saw him just cause. With that being said I’ve been know to be TMT all day.

      • I don’t know why Bronner bothers me so bad. I don’t like Floyd but he does the work. Bronner seems to not understand that.

        I’m a Terrance Crawford guy. Low-key quiet but high-key mean as heII.

        • Jae Starz

          I think that’s why I don’t like him. He’s so damb arrogant without proving himself. I don’t mind a showboater cuz I loved me some Roy Jones Jr but have the daggone talent.

      • miss t-lee

        If they fought each other I’d hope for a 12 round draw. They both make me itch.

    • miss t-lee

      I loved the f*ck you suit. That was the best thing about that farce of a press conference.

    • I loved that suit lol I just need a good 10 minutes alone with Connor.

    • Ms. Madam CJ Skywalker

      We dont like Bronner? What he do?

      • I don’t like him.

        Has talent but he thinks he’s Floyd but hasn’t realized that he has to work as hard as Floyd to be that. Has a spectacular sh*t talk game.

        • Ms. Madam CJ Skywalker

          Lol. My only exposure to him was via his recent Breakfast club interview, so…

  • mr. steal your costco samples

    Many dudes are using try hard whiteness as a justification for Conor and/or to tell on themselves.

    For fights like this I wish Flloyd was more like Tyson, just a 2 piece and this ish over. I don’t want to watch eleven rounds of Conor landing like 3 punches

  • Gibbous

    Sidenote: Could someone, anyone, anybody say something at all about the Black Panther photos that just dropped? I live and work in a PW life and I need some Black opinions. No body here to talk to about my nerdgasms!

    • KMN

      I saw them on IG Im EXCITED to see this movie. I plan on seeing it at least 3 times just to give them those dollars lmao

      • Gibbous

        I’ll also be buying my first edition of Entertainment Weekly since 20 years ago! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9447457a2ad252fbb2902d845c6931e4667e98aa593dda6d93a5be59cce12c9e.jpg

        • KMN

          dear GOD look at Lupita…she might be neck in neck with Rihanna my the questioning of my chexuality lmao

          • Michelle is my First Lady

            GIrl! Same here, along with Rutina Wesley and Danai Gurira.

            • KMN

              Rutina’s SKIN though…she makes me want to Iick her lmao

              • Michelle is my First Lady

                I want to start with her arms first….I watch every Queen Sugar episode like… damn….I might be lesbian lol.. well, bi because I still got hot for Kofi.

                • KMN

                  Girl listen I might be there with you rofl…its like the sun kissed it and dipped it in gold OMG lolol

              • miss t-lee

                Her skin is flawless!

                • KMN

                  I could only WISH to be like that lmao

                  • miss t-lee

                    I love it so.

              • BrothasKeeper

                You’re speaking my language. I just wanna watch.

            • Gibbous

              I might have to go back and watch the Walking Dead because Danai Gurira!

              Also the photos of Florence Kasumba. I’d like to BE them.

              • Michelle is my First Lady

                Google her recent pictures when she’s either sporting the baldy or the very short hair. The “Michonne” wig DOES nothing for her.

                • Gibbous

                  I wear a TWA (1.5) I might have to shave my head for a minute!

                  • Michelle is my First Lady

                    I love TWAs! I want to big chop again just so I can get back to it

                    • Gibbous

                      I use 1 bottle of shampoo/year and if I have to use a hairbrush, I make an appointment with the barber!

                    • MakesMeWannaShoopShoopShoop

                      T’hat is my stage and I am struggling

                    • Michelle is my First Lady

                      Which one? TWA? Or Big Chop stage?

                    • MakesMeWannaShoopShoopShoop

                      TWA. I am reconciled to the fact that I have no curl pattern but finding something that works is a hassle

                    • Gibbous

                      Actually, many years ago, my barber convinced me to go shorter so it just lays flat against your head. Not worried about curls or anything. If it moves, chop it off!

                    • Michelle is my First Lady

                      Were you nervous at first to chop it all off? I have my days, where I just want to get a really nice short cut but I’m worried it won’t look right.

                    • Gibbous

                      Actually, my mother cut it short when I was about 6 or 8 (after much screaming and fighting) and I’ve tried never to grow it out in the 40 years since. It’s too thick to do anything with, and I’d rather lay in bed and drink coffee and read books in the morning than do anything with my hair!

                    • Michelle is my First Lady

                      A friend of mine has the same problem. She used a curl activator on her hair after her big chop. I don’t know how if it works for everyone, but it worked very well for her.

                    • MakesMeWannaShoopShoopShoop

                      Thank you. I shall try that

                • Gibbous
                  • Michelle is my First Lady

                    If I had those cheekbones man…….

                  • KMN

                    GAWUD…why are our people so STRIKING? So fucking GORGEOUS…this picture demands you to be obsessed with it and embarrassed for looking at it for too long lol

                    • Gibbous

                      I’m not ashamed!

                    • KMN

                      Me either!! it’s just so BEAUTIFUL. I stop black women REGULARLY on the street just to tell them how beautiful they are…shoot men too…but women especially because we need it

          • Gibbous

            You don’t have to question your chexuality in order to appreciate the fineness of a person of the same chex. I’d like to BE Angela Basset’s arms!

            • KMN

              LMAO no they REALLY have me questioning my chexuality the thirst is REAL ROFL…maybe I’m bi and don’t know it yet lmao

              • Gibbous

                Let me tell you, they have THE FINEST of melanated folks in this movie. All of the most beautiful people, all in one spot. See, it wasn’t that hard. After this movie, I expect to see more of the beautiful ones sprinkled in to my regular movie watching life, otherwise, how sway??

                • KMN

                  We are some beautiful fucking people…all of our hues and shades and colors…
                  There is no reason and no lacking of beauty and I mean TRUE beauty not these cookie cutter bishes they got out here tombout gorgeous…yeah no lmao

                  • Gibbous

                    THIS!!

            • BrothasKeeper

              Angela Bassett BEEN fine!

    • Queen@
    • miss t-lee

      I saw them over on Twitter. Not normally into comic movies, but I love the wardrobes, makeup and such that I’ve seen. Everything is nothing short of gorgeous.

      • Gibbous

        The costume designer is Ruth E. Carter, the Black woman who did Malcolm X, the remake of Roots, etc. She uses influences from various African tribes and cultures.

        Production designer is Hannah Beachler, another black woman. She is responsible for the looks of Moonlight and Lemonade

        • miss t-lee

          Both of these ladies are doing work!

          • Gibbous

            Yes, Ma’am!

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