Featured, Pop Culture

WTF Is Going On With Kehlani, Kyrie Irving, PartyNextDoor, And Chris Brown, Explained

Who is Kyrie Irving?

Kyrie Irving is a point guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Really? That’s the answer you’re going to give? You’re going to sit up here and pretend that Kyrie isn’t your favorite player in the league, and that you haven’t been writing about him since 2012?

I didn’t think that was relevant information today.

Whatever, man. Anyway, who is Kehlani? 

Kehlani is a young woman who, apparently, sings songs. I wish I had more to tell you about the names of her songs or perhaps the types of songs she sings, but I’d have to google it. Which means you’d find out just as quickly as I would.

Okay. Well, who is PartyNextDoor?

PartyNextDoor could literally be performing right now at a party next door — with a note on my door letting me know PartyNextDoor will be at a party next door this morning — and I still wouldn’t know who he was. I’d just be annoyed my neighbors were having a party at 11am.

So…you get paid to follow and write about pop culture, right?

I do.

And you don’t know who these people are?

I don’t. I’m not going to lie and say that I do. Have I heard the names “Kehlani” and “PartyNextDoor” before? Yes I have. Do I know why these are names I’ve heard before? No I don’t.

Okay. Well, who is Chris Brown?

Chris Brown is light-skinned.

Why are we talking about them today?

Well, my entry point into all of this came Monday afternoon, when I noticed Kyrie’s name was the top trending topic. This immediately sent a chill through my spine, because if an athlete’s name is trending while there are no games being played, it’s usually because something bad happened to him. An arrest, perhaps. Or maybe a drug suspension. And, knowing what I know about Kyrie’s extensive (and annoyingly random) injury history, my first fear was that he contracted knee AIDS or something.

Knee AIDS? Really?

Look, this is a dude who broke his toe in college while making a cut, broke his hand the summer after his rookie season slapping a wall, and broke his kneecap last summer after bumping into a guy who’s literally made out of water. Knee AIDS isn’t really that far-fetched.

Anyway, he was actually trending because Kehlani — who Kyrie was apparently dating — was apparently cheating on him. And the internet decided to have quite a bit of fun at Kyrie’s expense.

Wait…how did the internet find out about Kehlani’s alleged infidelity?

PartyNextDoor — who happened to be Kehlani’s ex — posted a photo on Instagram of them in bed together.

party

I see. Well, why do you keep using words like “apparently” and “alleged?” Everything seems pretty clear here. Kyrie was dating a woman (Kehlani) who cheated on him with her ex (PartyNextDoor). The ex provided photo evidence. There’s not much ambiguity here. 

Actually, there is. We have no idea whether Kyrie and Kehlani were still seeing each other. Although their relationship was public, it’s very possible that they broke up privately. The only person definitely in the wrong here is PartyNextDoor.

How so?

Whether Kehlani and Kyrie were actually still dating or not, people who knew of the relationship assumed they were. And sharing a photo like that is the pinnacle of passive-aggressive fuckboytivity.

Which, to be fair, shouldn’t have been a big surprise.

Why not?

Because he’s an OVO artist. And OVO is Drake’s label. And Drake is the patron saint of passive-aggressive fuckboytivity. Ultimately, PartyNextDoor was just acting out what happens in literally every single Drake verse.

What happened next?

Ayesha Curry’s name started trending. Again.

Wait…what? Why the hell did that happen?

Because whenever a young and famous Black man who is dating a woman experiences any type of relationship-related adversity, Ayesha Curry’s name is dropped as an example of the “type of female these thoterrific bitches need to be.” As I tweeted Monday evening, she’s the Hotep Twitter Candyman. Say her name in the mirror five times and ashy elbows will appear.

So, what happened after that?

Things got a quite a bit more serious early Tuesday as Kehlani shared a photo of her in a hospital room, with a caption suggesting she attempted to commit suicide.

Wow. That’s really sad.

It is. And the sadness turned surreal when #StayStrongKehlani became the top trending topic just hours after she was getting shaded by every corner of the internet. Which is like wearing a RIP shirt to honor someone you just shot. There’s a cognitive dissonance that seems to exist within internet shade culture. Yes, the memes can be funny and clever, but I think we forget sometimes that there are actual people at the receiving end of these jokes. Actual people who could be so upset by it that they’re driven to the type of depression that makes them consider ending their own lives.

So, I noticed Chris Brown’s name is in the title. How did he get involved with all of this?

Early Wednesday morning, Brown tweeted that he believed Kehlani’s suicide attempt was an inauthentic ploy for attention.

Why would Chris Brown even feel the need to chime in here?

Asking why Chris Brown does what Chris Brown does is like asking my four-month-old daughter why she smiles at clocks. It’s like he has a timer that goes off every six months to remind him to remind us he’s a 26-year-old six-year-old. If Drake is the patron saint of passive-aggressive but relatively harmless fuckboytivity, Chris Brown is fuckboy emertus.

I do know however that Chris Brown and Kyrie Irving are apparently good friends. And that, considering the history between Chris Brown and Drake, he’s probably not too fond of Drake-related artists. So there’s that.

So, I have to admit something. It seemed kind of fishy for Kehlani to share a photo of herself in the hospital after her suicide attempt. I know listening to Chris Brown is like listening to a genital wart, but I think he has a point here.

Was Chris Brown the only person to be a bit skeptical about how genuine Kehlani’s suicide attempt was? No, he wasn’t. But we don’t know what’s going on in that young woman’s head. None of us do. And when something as serious as suicide is on the table, we have to give her the benefit of the doubt. If there’s even a 1% chance she’s sincere, it needs to be treated like a 100% chance.

Saying someone faked a suicide attempt and questioning their authenticity is ultimately an implicit way of daring them to try again. And someone as famous as Chris Brown doing it with the ginormous platform he has is dangerous, disgusting, and possibly even criminal. 

Also, “seeking attention” and “being suicidal” are qualities that can exist at the same time. The presence of one doesn’t negate the presence of the other. Perhaps she did share that picture to elicit sympathy, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t legitimately want to kill herself.

Generally speaking, we don’t know shit about mental health. And the conversations that tend to surround these types of topics are examples of that.

So what happens next?

I have no idea. All I do know is that these are all exceedingly young people. Kyrie just turned 24. Kehlani is 20. PartyNextDoor is 22. Chris Brown is 26. And I do not envy the generation who has to go through their teens and 20s — and all the perfectly normal relationship-related fuckshit that occurs when you’re a teenager and a young adult — with every move they make documented on social media.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    “So, I have to admit something. It seemed kind of fishy for Kehlani to share a photo of herself in the hospital after her suicide attempt. I know listening to Chris Brown is like listening to a genital wart, but I think he has a point here……Also, “seeking attention” and “being suicidal” are qualities that can exist at the same time. The presence of one doesn’t negate the presence of the other. Perhaps she did share that picture to elicit sympathy, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t legitimately want to kill herself.”

    Ok. Agreed. That’s all I needed to read. I don’t question the suicide attempt at all. I question the need to post a picture on Instagram merely hours after it happened. But like you said, attention-seeking could coincide with suicide.

    • TheCollinB

      My wife and I were just talking about this situation last night. I side with Champ in that anytime suicide is on the table it’s serious. Shorty is 20 and already living a life a lot of her generation dreams, if her mental health game was fleek’d out before it prolly didn’t get better when she got a little notoriety. I pray she’s well but I also pray that the need to immediately reflect publicly on trying to take her life resides.

      All that to say: Kids need more hugs.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Agreed.

      • Ess Tee

        Speaking of kids, did you and your wife do any Easter egg hunts with those beautiful Black babies of yours?

        • TheCollinB

          We took em to the one at our church. Had to give em game tho cause it was a big field and all the kids there neglected the deep end so I’m screaming “GO DEEP!” from the side….not the lost apropos phrase but it paid off for em.

          • Ess Tee

            LOL! You gotta help the babies sometimes.

    • dmcmillian72

      “It was a way for her to guilt her criticizers and become the victim in a situation in which she was initially labeled the villain.”

      And this right there is why I still have the scrunch face about this… Makes her no different than the people who were shaming her.

  • miss t-lee

    “And I do not envy the generation who has to go through their teens and 20s — and all the perfectly normal relationship-related fuckshit that occurs when you’re a teenager and a young adult — with every move they make documented on social media.”

    You just said a word.
    Stuff like this makes me realize how much I relish my privacy, and discretion is a slowly dying art.

    • OSHH

      Huh man, as Gemini, I am extremely private with discriminating tastes.

      • miss t-lee

        Listen. Discretion is so sexay.

        • OSHH

          Mystery.

          • miss t-lee

            Yes lawd.

        • KNeale

          Yes. These ni66as don’t know what they could have if they could KEEEEPPP their mouths CLOSED!!!!!

          • Ess Tee

            *shakes tambourine*

          • miss t-lee

            All of this gospel.

          • Kas

            Sorry wrong door. Kas is too young, and waayyy too married, for this conversation.

          • Mika

            GIRL!

    • PhlyyPhree

      Mannnnnn look. I USED to be all into social media. I had every type of account there was to have….but as much as I hate to say it and date myself, that was a different time. Like I mentioned yesterday, my FB friends list? Made up of my actual FRIENDS and people I knew in real life.
      And that meant the number stayed under 200.
      I think the youngins are soooooooo addicted to the thought of fame that they’re willing to do/say whatever, WHERE ever in order to get their 15 seconds. It’s truly sad.

      • miss t-lee

        I’m not on FB, never even started an account…lol I’m on twitter and IG. That’s it.
        What I post is very calculated, it’s just enough. I don’t wanna be famous from social media, and I keep a lot under wraps. I’ve had folks say they feel like they know me, but they don’t know anything.
        I aim to keep it that way…lol

        • PhlyyPhree

          Oh I DEFINITELY used to overshare. My twitter? Yeaaaaaaaaa. Folk knew me and everything that I was about back in the day. I’d like to think I’ve gotten a lot better, but eh. The thing is, I only granted a few people access to those accounts, so more than likely, they DID know me.

          • miss t-lee

            Nah. I do all my oversharing via text or phone calls.

          • I’ve been told I overshare pics of my kids, but fuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk that

          • pls

            Oh, I was #teamchildish when I had my twitter. Now, I don’t even have one.

            Also, twitter pressures you to watch and know about sh t that you wouldn’t normally be into but feel the need to because EVERYone else is talking about it. idgt!

        • Asiyah

          I post whatever I want and I do talk about my depression but I don’t share intimate details or private struggles. I wanted to kill myself back in 2007 and I didn’t post a word about that on my Facebook. I mostly vent but even I have my limits because while I think nobody reads this stuff I’ve come to learn there are A LOT of lurkers out there and that not everybody is like me: if I see it and have something to say, I’ll comment on your pic or wall. Why not? Most of my comments are harmless. But not everybody’s like that. Plenty of people spend hours checking out your profile and you would never know, all the while judging you and even claiming to know you well because of what you post.

          • miss t-lee

            Exactly.
            That’s why I’m extremely private. Not everyone has your best interest in mind.

          • miss t-lee

            I’m also glad you are here.

            • Asiyah

              Receiving a compliment is an unintended but otherwise great consequence of me writing here. Thank you xoxo

              • miss t-lee

                Of course, you’re welcome. :)

          • Val

            *eHUG*

            • Asiyah

              xoxo

      • Asiyah

        I was also very into social media. I didn’t take it seriously. Come on, it was 2004. The internet was poppin’ but it hadn’t blown up. Time passed and I started to see just how seriously people took social media. What became a funny distraction for me suddenly turned my stomach. People begging for likes, posting up falsehoods and/or exaggerations for the sake of impressing and/or causing envy in others, the drama…it’s too much. They’re addicted to the attention. The only thing I still have now is Twitter and it’s mostly for the news. I tweet a lot (mostly retweets but also my thoughts) but it’s a private profile with few followers and most of the tweets are notes to self in case I ever do decide to start writing my book.

        • brothaskeeper

          I knew of someone who actually faked his death, then would sign on anonymously to check on all his memorial threads. Someone busted him in a grocery store and posted his pic of him living and purchasing hamhocks.

          • lmfao not hamhocks! shut up! lmaooooo

            • Jacqueline

              Even in the afterlife, one must have perfectly seasoned greens:D

              • miss t-lee

                I’m hollering.

              • brothaskeeper

                SO necessary!

              • Mochasister

                And you know this!

          • Asiyah

            SMDH WHAT FOOLISHNESS IS THIS!

            If he faked his own death and was discovered, does that mean that it’s fair game to kill him? I mean, he’s “dead”…

            Inquiring minds want to know!

            • brothaskeeper

              You’re scaring me right now.

              • Asiyah

                FEAR ME!

                lol j/k please don’t I’m a God-fearing person and I doubt I’d ever kill, but that was a legal question I had to ask

                • brothaskeeper

                  *exhales*

            • John Shannon

              I had to upvote

            • AlwaysBluffing

              That only works if you killed the guy in the first place.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u22fy9OTaxo

              • Asiyah

                That was my conclusion as well.

                • AlwaysBluffing

                  An underrated relic of the 90’s/early 2000’s is the ~27-45 year old female starring, fairly cheaply made thriller…although I inadvertently missed “The Perfect Guy” last year, so I guess I’m part of the problem.

          • Kat

            Wow…

          • miss t-lee

            Yeah…that ninja crazy.

          • Mary Burrell

            lol ?

          • I just hollered

          • AlwaysBluffing

            Had to sign in just to like this.

          • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

            Dude had some interesting priorities.

          • Mochasister

            Lol at purchasing hamhocks!

    • KingsCounty

      But it doesn’t have to be that way. Now that I’m dating again I noticed i care about that persons social media lifestyle. I tend to prefer to date someone who isn’t bout that life. Preferably under the radar. As a boy I used to judge the body count, now as a man I judge your follower count, if u have too many followers I tend to be more cautious with you. I prefer a person who is more discreet with their accounts and what they share. Doesn’t make u a bad person if u have 7k followers, I just feel like u have pressure to share with them, and if I’m with you my business may be shared too and nah I’m not wit it.

      • miss t-lee

        IDK. Follower counts don’t bother me at all. It’s what you share, and how you act online that concerns me.
        Some folks like to act like their social media is an alter ego, or something. Nah, that’s really you, under the guise of so called anonymity. Do you act the same? That’s what I pay attention to.

        • KingsCounty

          Yea what u post matters too. I used to ask for women’s FB info after meeting them and once u read their page, no need in even calling cuz I know we cant go further than a physical attraction. On IG if your page is full of selfies, I’m judging you as being vain, possibly unfairly, but this is who I am, for today at least.
          If your page has no pics and is full of memes about love and relationships and how ppl don’t appreciate you or “LOYALTY”, I’m good on you too ma, you’re damaged beyond my skill set. Again I know this isn’t fact, it’s just how I feel until I’m taught different.

          • Kat

            So…what does your page say about you?

            • miss t-lee

              Hmph!

            • KingsCounty

              My pics are mostly outings with family or friends. Events and such. Or memes that make me laugh and brighten my day like when a topic is popular so a round of funny memes comes out. But I’m a private person for the most part so even those events and functions are few and far between that actually get posted.

          • miss t-lee

            I agree…to an extent..

        • Kat

          And that’s the key. I have a lot of followers who *think* I share a lot. Nope. It’s jokes and articles. Dig deep. I’m shallow online.

          • miss t-lee

            Hallelu.

          • Asiyah

            Me tooooooooo

      • charisma_supreme

        I do not share my social media accts with ppl im just dating, and when i politely decline for good (to me) reason, they like..

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          I’m not sure if I’d be confused, offended, intrigued or turned off by this…

          • charisma_supreme

            Lol! Ppl can take it as they like, but my reasons make absolute sense to me. How ppl respond to my dating preferences is nunamybizness. But the reaction itself gives good info too.

            • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

              I’m not saying it doesn’t makes sense or that you aren’t entitled to it. You certainly are of course, but if I’m a normal guy talking to you I might be unnecessarily weirded out by it. I’m certain you have ways to ameliorate that. But yeah, the reaction does give good info. Kudos to you.

        • rhymeswithbrucelee

          I had a guy ask me for my FB and IG before we met, talking bout he doesn’t want to get catfished. I’m like nah son, it’s only coffee. If I look different from any of my photos then you’ve only lost 30mins of your life

          • charisma_supreme

            Lol. I’m referring to situations where you met the person in real life initially. I can get the other party’s concern in your case, though it’s def annoying bc it seems like the person is calling you a liar without good reason. Folks so noid these days.

      • Mochasister

        Excellent point. I never thought about it that way. Don’t be telling my bidness!

    • Rukia

      My mum always used to tell us growing up that it is important to always maintain an air of mystery… share a graduation photo, your cat getting stuck somewhere, your friends going hiking an open post at your job but every single current event being documented with photo evidence is just damaging…Most of all KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOURSELF!!!

      I have one instagram post and no snapchat. I love twitter because if you are a non celebrity and talk about yourself constantly you will be ignored.

      • miss t-lee

        Solid, solid advice.

    • Mary Burrell

      Well said why do they feel the need to publish their private lives? Somethings need to be kept to themselves.

      • miss t-lee

        I think it’s a new normal.

    • Mochasister

      Discretion is a slowly dying art.
      This. I didn’t grow up with social media so it’s easier for me to leave it alone. The most I do is comment here and on Yotube. I understand that social media is a very integral part of this generation’s culture. What I don’t understand is this constant over sharing of one’s life that so many of them do. I cringe at some of things they share and show. So many of them don’t have any chill. A lot of them don’t seem to understand that what you put out there on the Internet can get you in trouble in real life. Like those teenage girls in Arizona who decided to spell out n***** with their t-shirts for a class photo and post it on the Internet. I wish they would learn how to talk behind people’s backs like we did in the old days! Learn the joy of sneaking a note to your friend in class! Lol! But for real get a book and journal your thoughts and feelings. I still have my very first diary from when I was thirteen. Everyone doesn’t have to know everything about you.

      • miss t-lee

        You said a word.

      • IlikeHotCheetos

        I agree with alladis, and I’m in my early 20s. I chalk it up to how I was raised.

        • Mochasister

          The way one was raised has a lot to do with how one acts. I worry about some of the younger people. I worry for their safety; there are some elementary school age kids on the net posting things they don’t need to be posting. One of my fellow teachers had some of her 6th grade students “sexting” each other and harassed another girl because she didn’t want to participate.

          • IlikeHotCheetos

            That’s very scary indeed. Oh wow. 6th grade??? How old are you in that grade, 11 or 12? I thought boys were kinda cute, but very gross!

            • Mochasister

              11 going on 12 provided you have no retentions in your school history! Yeah, the elementary school kids are on social media as well. They often have the same access to things we adults do. That is if their parents are vigilant about their kids activities online. Of course it’s not that hard to get around parents.

  • Dougie

    I’ve had a friend who attempted suicide and failed. She was on lockdown
    for days after the suicide attempt and had numerous hospital therapists
    come into her room and she was nowhere near her phone for days.

    Maybe
    she did attempt suicide. It’s very sad. But I immediately thought it
    was fishy that she was able to have her phone right after the suicide
    attempt. But all hospitals aren’t the same, so maybe they did let her.

    I initially thought she just took too many drugs. And not on purpose.

  • LadyIbaka

    I’m a Kehani fan. I phaks hard with her music. “You should be here” IS my jam! What happened to this young lady is unfortunate. She is being slat shamed, left, right and center with folks not giving her ample space to explain herself. Of course, her posting an Instagram pic of her in hospital after attempting suicide didn’t help her case, and then completely deleting her account. Don’t know if it is back at this point.

    Well, her side of the story is this: She is still in love with PND, but NEVER cheated on Kyrie. How? Well, broke up with him, and went back with PND. So no one was cheated on.

    CB’s commentary had me at this is NINJAREEYDOM at its finest, like he is PHD certified. Just because his loyalty account is set up in support of Kyrie, that was not unnecessary.

    Praying for K, to pull thru all of this. She is a young artiste with a great future ahead of her.

    • TheCollinB

      I was getting Khelani confused with Kelela for a while. I don’t know if anyone is checking for Kelela but they should. Shawty raw.

      http://youtu.be/d1Oq8faMdlE

      • LadyIbaka

        She is!!! I like her music!! One time for my Ethio sister. Alelelelelelelele

        • TheCollinB

          Fuego right? F u x wit her.

          • LadyIbaka

            Yaz!!

        • Kas

          You’re Ethiopian? I need to be careful what I say about my first wife on these boards.

          • LadyIbaka

            How many wives you got?!?!?

            • Kas

              I’m not Mormon, West Indian or African, so just one. My first, and now ex, wife was Ethiopian. I have since remarried.

              • LadyIbaka

                K.

      • Kelly Kell

        She is everything!! so great in concert too.

  • Kat

    I know who Chris Brown is…that’s about it.

    • Courtney Wheeler

      Yeah I felt bad…I had to look these people up…which says a lot about my age and/or music taste.

    • Val

      Most of the supposedly famous people I learn about becasue of social media. I see their names over and over and get bits and pieces here and there about why they are famous or what craziness they’re involved in. Fame by osmosis.

  • LKNMRE

    I attempted suicide once, when i was 15. I didn’t have access to my phone (my mom had taken it from me weeks before that), but, if I begged, they’d let me go to the playroom at the Children’s Hospital, which had computers. Of course the first thing I posted was how I was on a mental health hold. I wanted sympathy. I wanted to know that I SHOULDN’T try again. The support I got from the couple thousand strangers I was MySpace friends with did help me, especially when my mother and family were largely being a-holes.

    Every system works differently, though. Every hospital works differently. Some will let you have a cell phone, especially if you don’t have anyone there with you. Without being able to keep a cell phone, my best friend wouldn’t have been able to call ME when HE tried to take his life. So, that’s no reason to doubt this woman, in my opinion and in my experience.

    • TheCollinB

      Understanding the extreme sensitivity of the issue (and you really don’t have to reply at all) was it mental health or situational stress that led to your attempt?

      • LKNMRE

        Both. I think something people can’t seem to wrap their heads around is no one tries to kill themselves the first time they want to try to kill themselves. It’s a persistent thought that can be triggered by almost anything, but the seed is always planted deep before you even start considering ways to do it. It starts off as maybe the world would be better off, and fantasies of your funeral, of people learning their lessons and missing you. It’s all fantasy at the beginning point. But some people reach the end point a lot faster. Some think about it for years. But no one does it on a whim.

        In my case, I’d been depressed for a while. In fact, I can say I don’t remember a time in my life that I wasn’t depressed. I’d been considering suicide since I was 12. In fact, I distinctly remember sitting in summer camp where we were learning about knots and asking very seriously how to make a noose. What triggered my attempt was an argument with my mother after she’d read my diary and told my family some of the things I’d said (don’t invade your kids’ privacy!). So, yes, I was very stressed in that situation, but it was more that putting me over the edge than creating the thoughts. Once you get thinking about it, the way you think about it is “it’s only a matter of time ’til I do it.”

        • miss t-lee

          Folks don’t understand the process. It doesn’t just happen overnight.
          Glad you are here.

        • TheCollinB

          Understood and knowing depression is a constant battle that never “goes away” I hope you have more good days than bad. The information I’ve read about suicide aligns with what you’re saying heavily. Most of the survivors have said suicide seemed like the only way to end a pain they had no other way to get rid of and that they just simply wanted to be free from it. Before becoming more knowledgeable about it it was my assumption it was a heavy looming idea but it’s not really.

          • LKNMRE

            Yeah, it doesn’t weigh on you. It’s just a thought. The same way someone else would think “you know, I should clean my bathroom” until they finally do. It’s that inconsequential. But, in the same way you might be having guests over and finally clean your damn bathroom, you finally attempt it, because something happened to make you realize it’s time.

            • TheCollinB

              Thank you for speaking on it.

    • Val

      Sorry you went through that. And I agree. I refuse to doubt someone who says they attempted suicide. What’s the point? To shame them? Sigh.

    • Momofuku O’Murphy

      THANK YOU
      seriously I can’t understand this cavalier attitude and the neglect of how dangerous (AFTER all the vile hate that put her there) this “yeeahh whatevs she doing it for attention ” is!!!! I can’t believe the world.

  • I don’t really question her taking the photo at all personally. She is of my generation where a lot of us consistently and constantly share our deepest and darkest moments with “the public” at large. I’ve lost count of the number of people that I follow on Tumblr that detail every thought and feeling regarding their depression, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts and attempts, etc. Shoot it’s so common that years ago Tumblr already implemented a system that when you search for certain things and abbreviations the screen immediately turns to numbers you can call for ED, self-harm, and so on.

    • LKNMRE

      Attention seeking is a symptom of a lot of mental illnesses. That’s why they share. It has nothing to do with the advent of social media, cause they’d be trying to share it some other way if it didn’t exist.

      • I’m not saying it’s new. I’m saying it’s common in a way that older people may not realize. Especially older people who aren’t intimately aware of what’s it like to be in those situations.

        • LKNMRE

          No, you’re right. I think our parents and grandparents don’t get it–especially our Black families–because mental health is SO taboo in our communities. We always suffer in silence.

      • disqus_vo9S9adtzT

        Why do we keep calling it attention seeking when it could be a cry for help?

        • LKNMRE

          “Attention seeking” is what doctors call it. For me, it doesn’t have a negative connotation.

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      I can buy that– the fact that this over sharing of information is a generational thing. I alluded to that yesterday on Agatha’s post when someone brought this story up. Even if it is the norm, oversharing has some downfalls and may be reflective of some larger ills.

  • Kidiocus Carroll

    I don’t think its beyond the realm of imagination that she would share an instagram pic. We live in a world of social media oversharing; people have literally live tweeted their suicides and gone through with it. Could it be a cry for attention? Yes, but I’m not here for the fuckboi’s like Chris Brown who try to discount someone’s personal pain. As if he hasn’t sat up on Instagram and Twitter pouring out his light skinned feelings and being attention seeking.

  • Eh, first things first:

    We gotta retire the term “fuccboi.” White folks are ODing on it right now. Sorry, in the 90’s, we had at least a decade before the WCAB (White Cultural Appropriation Brigade) invaded and diluted the latest black innovation, now it takes about a quarter.

    That also being said, I think we need to be careful simply saying this is a product of age, as much as it’s a testament to our lowering expectations of young adults and adolescents. Heck even “psychological researchers” are saying we should extend adolescence into the 30’s. http://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2012/12/20/why-millennials-arent-growing-up

    I’m empathetic about mental health, but my experiences working with it has made me heavily unsympathetic about it. I’m gonna assume that Kelhani is saying the truth when she says that she didn’t in fact cheat…which means her suicide attempt is far worse. She didn’t attempt to kill herself due to guilt, which would be due to a violation against her own personal ethics, but precisely because others perceived her as being something she wasn’t. A person who has such a mind, really isn’t fit for fame or worse social media, because there’s no way to dodge shaming in social media, especially when you’re famous.

    As for Breezy…well, what’s new?

    • TheCollinB

      We gotta retire the term fuccboi

      ….no we don’t, but continue.

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        We do. It’s been whitewashed….a sure sign that it’s officially dead.

        • Oluseyi

          Nah. It’s a genuinely colorblind, universally appropriate term.

          Put it this way: we oughta retire it when fuckboys all retire. (You know that ain’t never happening.)

          • ChokeOnThisTea

            Nah, son. I wish it were genuinely colorblind, but black guys are the poster child for “fu ckboys.”

            • Oluseyi

              That’s just because the usage started with black women. Tell me Justin Bieber’s behavior in recent years wasn’t classic fuckboy.

              • ChokeOnThisTea

                What doesn’t start with black women and then is stolen?

                I’m not saying his behavior isn’t worthy of the title, but men that LOOK like him are not the first image that comes to mind when people use that term. Remember how he was portrayed in the media vs how Richard Sherman was a few years back regarding the term “thug”…

                • Oluseyi

                  So let us liberalize it by applying it to every instance of wypipo fuckboytivity that crosses our social networks! To the bat-cave, Robin! We haven’t one moment to lose!

      • LadyIbaka

        Agree.

      • Courtney Wheeler

        Yeah…f**k boy is my new favorite term…it really describes the peak levels of male passive aggressive pettiness

      • Asiyah

        I wish that term could be retired but it’s still suitable for work and refuses to take its leave!

        • Momofuku O’Murphy

          I was crying when this happened not just bc Kehlani is one of my fav singers. Then I see these gifs, and I’ve been giggling out loud (gol) to myself for like 3 minutes straight… holy mother of god this is ridiculous AAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Asiyah

      “A person who has such a mind, really isn’t fit for fame or worse social
      media, because there’s no way to dodge shaming in social media,
      especially when you’re famous.”

      Excellent point.

      • LKNMRE

        My issue is the whites using it WRONG. I’ve heard so many arguments from weird white anti-feminists saying “there’s a word for a promiscuous guy, it’s f*ckboy” when NO that’s NOT WHAT IT MEANS!

        • Asiyah

          I don’t expect much understanding from them so I’m not surprised they’re using it wrong LOL

          • Mochasister

            They are so annoying. And they seem so pleased with themselves when they are (incorrectly) using the terms. I wonder if they bite off the Mexicans like they do us?

            • Asiyah

              They do. See: Cinco de Mayo celebrations. I have to sit there and tell them that no, Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexican independence day, but they still want to act like it’s their holiday, their “independence,” and their culture. smh

              • Mochasister

                I hate to do this but henceforth I declare that the Dwights will now be shoved off onto the Latinos. I want the Dwights to speak awkward Spanish, bring Taco Bell to the staff luncheon as “real” Mexican food and clomp their way through cumbias whilst telling Mexican people about their own culture. Yes, I think it’s only fair Latinos share our pain.

    • PhlyyPhree

      “we had at least a decade before the WCAB (White Cultural Appropriation Brigade) invaded and diluted the latest black innovation, now it takes about a quarter.”

      Doesn’t even take that long. I give it bout a week, mayyyybe two

      • Mochasister

        They are so sickening with that. On Youtube there was a comment thread on whites appropriating Black slang/culture and I entered it. Why were the wypipo turning themselves inside out trying to justify it. Talking about how culture is not in a “vacuum” and “globalization” brings us together. One fool even had the nerve to say they copy/steal because Black people are seen as cool.

    • J&J Security

      you are absolutely right because they were already dabbing before I even had a chance. HOW SWAY?!?!

    • Mochasister

      Ain’t no damn way I’m going to extend adolescence into “the thirties!” Those researchers are trippin.

  • Breezy

    This is one of the reason why I have a love hate relationship with social media. Especially when it comes to sharing too much personal information. Everyone and their momma has something to say and when it comes to “celebrities” that something to say isn’t always nice.

    A little nobody like me can simply deactivate an account, shut off my phone and ignore everyone until I choose not to do so. But for the Kehlani’s of the world there is no logging off because it comes at them from every medium…FB, Blogs, IG, DM, inboxes, Snapchats,text, calls, etc, etc. Then there are the comments folks leave calling you every name except a child of God. I don’t care how strong you are (and let’s remember she is only 20!!!) that will break you.

    Hope she gets the help she needs and also takes a long break from social media.

    • miss t-lee

      “Then there are the comments folks leave calling you every name except a child of God. I don’t care how strong you are (and let’s remember she is only 20!!!) that will break you.”

      Yeah, that’s the reason I didn’t look at it as a cry for attention/sympathy. Taking into account that she’s only 20, and who knows if she’s had mental health issues before all of this sh*t hit the fan. That’s a lot to deal with for anyone.

    • KNeale

      I also hope she stays away from this PartyNextDoor fella. There was a picture of him at her bedside, I’m not sure from who. But no bruh you can’t come in my room. Don’t speak to me no more.

      He humiliated her then sat back quiet while his fans/followers drug her through the dirt!! *grandma voice* This man don’t love you!!

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