Between Spotify and Complex, I could blow an entire day coming up with playlists and then reading some of the worst, entertaining lists of all time. Seriously, Complex has some of THE most asinine lists known to man. Well since lists and music are two of my passions in life – they’re my lady jams – I decided to put together a fun list that nobody seems to have thought about because, like, why would you.
But how did we get here? Let’s start at the top. Spotify rocks for many reasons, but mostly because you can listen to entire albums without having to wait for your song to come back around like Pandora. You can make lists, plug and play, and keep it moving. A few days ago, I decided to give a particular album a run. And this album included a rapped verse by the R&B singer who made the album. On the opening track. And it was terrible. And it made me realize that lots of singers decided to give rapping a try. Many of them were worse than Kobe Bryant in a song entitled “K.O.B.E.” featuring Tyra Banks. Y’all remember that right?
So the inspiration for this list is number on the list.
1. Jon B
Evidence? The song “Shine” from Cool Relax, a dope album even 16 years ago. Jon B. doesn’t get nearly enough credit for inspiring all the white boys out today, but without Jon B there is no JT or Robin Thicke. His music was dope, his songwriting was great and he was best friends with Myra Munkhouse. But he ALSO RAPPED on the side and on this particular song he actually said, “…got the type of body that got my mind manifested…”
Not only does this make zero sense…it makes zero sense. His entire verse, which maxed out at like 8 bars, sounded like what happens when you give monkeys microphones and a set of Beats By Dre headphones with Hit-Boy beats preloaded. Point is, Jon B, somebody you aint listened to in a hot minute, is one of the worst rapping R&B singers…ever.
2. Everybody who raps in New Edition
Which included Ralph, Bobby, Ronnie, and Biv. I’m pretty sure Johnny Gill never spit a hot 4 nor did Ricky from what I can remember. I can be proved incorrect obviously. Look, I love NE. You love NE. We all love NE. Good rappers they were not. I loved Bobby Brown but he even sucked on the “On Our Own” from the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack and he was the best rapper of the group. Or Ralph Tresvant with his “Ralph’s Rap” over “Sensitivity.” Point is…dope rappers…they were not. Hell, they weren’t even the best singers. Though I love them. Go NE!
3. Tyrese aka Black Ty
I like Tyrese. I think he’s entertaining. And as a singer? The man has hits. Legitimate hits. And he’s now in a group with Ginuwine minus P-90X and Tank, who has managed to make the same song over and over again. By the way, Tank’s version of the “I Can’t Make You Love Me” is bawse. But Tyrese released a rap album. And it was bad. The entire album was him rapping about rapping.
Y’all remember when Brandy was hellbent on becoming a rapper. On the Norwood family show she really tried to convince her momager that she had what it took to be a rappity ass rapper. Of course, nobody thought this was a good idea. Cuz yeah, this happened.
I’m gonna cheat a bit here and throw the first rappin’ ass white woman on here from her song “Rapture” which KRS-One sampled for his song “Step Into A World”. I loved the song, but she was a terrible rapper. Even back then. Yeah. I said it. And yes this may make me a bad person, but “…DJ’s spinnin’…I said my my” is one of her lines. Even Soulja Boy go that sh*t.
This is harder than you may think…but who were the worst R&B singers who tried to rap? And open it up to anybody you can think of who was terrible. There’s a method to this madness here. Trust me.
Panama Jackson, checking out, don’t you want to know what this is about? Stick around then scream and shout! Wooooo….
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST