Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Words I Hope My Daughter Never Says

As a father, this is the scariest.possibility.ever.

Father’s Day was yesterday so shoutouts to all the dads out there. I came across something that I think all men who either have children or aspire towards fatherhood could appreciate. So I figured I’d share. And it comes from the wonderful world of Kendra Wilkinson.

Admittedly, I don’t much about Kendra outside of the fact that she used to be one of Hugh Hefner’s girls and then married and got knocked up by a pro-football player of various levels of success in the NFL. She somehow got two television shows out of it. I respect her hustle.

If you spend any time on Twitter, you’ll hear somebody mention her on occasion and she was all over various gossip blogs and pop culture sites. So when I came across this video on Global Grind, I figured, what the hell, let’s see what she’s talking about. Plus it was entitled, “Kendra Reveals What She Loves About Black Men!”

I’m always curious when these types of questions (“what do you love about Black men?”) are asked of white women who are dating or married to Black men. It’s such a loaded question and there’s (usually) no way for these women to answer without sounding like some type of fetishist who is hypnotized by the wang. Even Kendra alludes to the myth without saying a word. But then she goes into the most original yet non-sensical answer I’ve likely ever heard in my entire life about what she loves about Black men.

Apparently, Kendra is the Black man whisperer. She’s able to relate and talk to Black men more than anybody else. She can talk more to a Black man than a white man, a white woman, a Black woman, a llama, etc. Hmmm…that’s…different. I wasn’t even aware that our conversations were that different in general, but somehow she can likely talk for hours to a Black man whereas she runs out of stuff to talk to a white dude.

Well, I do declare. That is new. And likely horse manure. But I’m sure she means it. It’s probably true in her life, if only because she creates the atmosphere that way. She thinks she can talk longer to Black men so she DOES talk longer to Black men. Self-fulfilling swag proper. It’s still a sort of ridiculous thing to love about Black men. Mostly because that has nothing to do with Black men and everything to do with her and her ability to “relate” to Black men. Which I also think is probably not quite accurate. So the title of the article the video comes from is a bit mis-leading.

But it’s my fault for being curious about her response to a question like that anyway, even if it was mostly just for kneejerk science research purposes. You get what you pay for, or so they say.

There’s something else worthy of note here, and hence the reason for this post anyway. In the video she states that her two mentors are Too $hort and Hugh Hefner. I’m not a psychologist so I won’t offer any in-depth analysis here, but let’s just say that if my daughter were to ever tell me that either of those two men were her mentors in life, I might actually kill myself. It would signal to me that I’ve failed as a parent, as a man, and as a father. I’ve let one slip away. Granted, she’s a Playboy Bunny and was one of various girlfriends of the Hef and she can talk to Black men better than anybody else so I suppose it makes sense in her life. But damn, that one hurt me a little…as a father.

In the grand scheme of things that you hope that your daughter never says in life, “Too $hort is my mentor” has to be somewhere near the top. It’s nowhere near as bad as “Daddy, those guys ran a train on me and I liked it” but definitely in the same league as “I’m a stripper, dad, deal with it!” In fact, if your daughter tells you that Too $hort is her mentor it’s because you’ve not only NOT been there but you’ve been such a piss poor reflection of manhood that a man who has non-ironically nor accidentally dedicated his life towards pimpdom has provided guidance to your kid. Yes, you should one yourself if that were to happen. The mere thought alone gives me the willies. And you do NOT want the willies.

Hearing her say that actually brought me some sadness. Le sigh and sh*t. But it also struck fear into my heart because hell, it’s a motherlovin’ possibility.

I will say this, just in that short video I realized that she is an interesting individual if only because the way she got to this life HAS to be interesting. Why the hell does she know Too $hort well enough for him to be considered a mentor ANYWAY? These are the types of questions that keep me awake at night.

So in honor of Father’s Day, but opening the floor to the people of the VSB-ora, what are some things that you hope your child, boy or girl, never ever says either to you or definitely not in public forum? Let’s do some preventative parenting today.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. OH NO YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT LIL NINJA aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

For the DC area folks: Come out for a relationship panel brought to you and moderated by Jasmine of TheJasmineBrand.com featuring Panama Jackson as a panelist, today, June 18, from 6-8pm at Lace Lounge (2214 Rhode Island Avenue, NE). Sponsored by Qream Liquer, there will be complimentary Qream cocktails from 6-630pm. Peep the flyer for details and information on additional panelists.

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    “Evelyn Lozada is my role model!” -things I hope my daughter never says

    • Latonya

      Any other Basketballwive and that includes Shaunie too!
      But I will be watching Love and Hip Hop Atl this add to my ratchet tv shows this summer.

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        Are you hating on Shaunie’s entrepreneurial skills?

        • Latonya

          hmm not hating on her getting the money but hating on how she let those women fight and not say anything.

          • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

            joking about ‘hating’….and how every ex-wife calls herself an “entrepreneur.” I would be too if I had millions in divorce money

            • Latonya

              Yeah “entrepreneur” is right! Did shaunie tried to stealing shaq money? Just a hoodrat with money!

              • Breezy

                Abeg Latonya, I think you mean a hoodrat with money ANDDDD great shoes.

                Carry on!

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        Love and Hip Hop is the one with that rapper’s girlfriend that beats the hell out of anybody for even looking momentarily at her not good looking ever high, I need a shower, and shea burra on my hair boyfriend-what’s his name?!

        Lawwd how about the one in Atlanta?! Jesus….That one has taken the cake!

        • Latonya

          ATL Love and hip hop looks like a hot ghetto mess! Worst then the women from NYC! http://www.vh1.com/video/misc/786232/love-and-hip-hop-atlanta-promo-clip.jhtml#id=1686061

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            Lil Scrappy’s momma is KRAY!! Lawwwwwd hammercy, she is sooooo dramatic, to the point where I think she either needs to be on medication, or is on meds and they ain’t working.

            • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

              Lil Scrappy was raised by humans!

              • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

                I’ll believe it when I see it O_o

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  girrrrrl! is you saying the mother is alien?

                  • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

                    LMAO, you said it Mami, not me.

          • b sweet

            All the girls look alike. I can’t tell the difference between the cast, and due to that level of confusion I won’t be watching

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              i tell them apart by the size of their nostrils!

              Those who fight the most, their circumference of their nostrils is wider and very hollow!

              • A Woman’s Eyes

                hahahhahahahahahahhahahahah

            • Sweet GA Brown

              I’m already breaking down each commercial trying to figure out which ones will be the Evelyn, Tami, Jennifer, Royce, Shaunie, and Suzie of Altanta (although thats the BBWs cast). Love and Hip Hop NY was null and void when the show first came on.

        • Thai

          Love and Hip Hop Atlanta had some strippers in it I think. Le sigh

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        Love and Hip Hop ATL sounds like it’s right up my alley. LOL

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Slain!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      she was one of them ratchets on the cover of vibe, essence or something listed as a role model, right? whoever did that should have lost their job AND their ability to be parents for at least 2 years while being forced to watch Cosby show re-runs twice a week.

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        ALLADIS.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        After initially seeing that and being all “WTF tho”, I was seriously hoping that SOMEONE in that editing staff was being facetious or sarcastic or something with that.

        I have dual citizenship in America and Optimistopia, btw.

  • Jay

    I’m sorry but Kendra’s smile erases all previous transgressions.

    • MJoy

      Awww

      • Jay

        I can understand why black men like her aside from the obvious (physical). Shes got a mix of funny goofiness, lack of inhibition, and sexiness.

        • nillalatte

          “Shes got a mix of funny goofiness, lack of inhibition, and sexiness”

          So that’s what black men like about white women? LOL Damn, I always thought it was for my amazingly cocky confidence!

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            Queeeen!!

            You kray ma!! fahhhhh real!

            • nillalatte

              Mami!!!!!! Nilla is full of cocky confidence (so I’ve been told) and I aim to please and pleasure my men…. lol ;)

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                are you on some Badu shid?!

                • nillalatte

                  LOLLLLL…. IRL… things are pretty damn sweet right now. Momma had an excellent Father’s day with another woman’s baby daddy. :D So, if that’s a Badu move, well, then, yeah, guilty as charged! Notice I am not pleading the FIF today. :)

                  • Sweet GA Brown

                    +1
                    Guilty as well.

                    • Breezy

                      +2 guilty as heck and have pictures as evidence….

                  • A Woman’s Eyes

                    LMFAO

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            “Damn, I always thought it was for my amazingly cocky confidence!”

            There’s a dirty joke hiding in there somewhere, but I won’t say anything…

            • nillalatte

              Leave it to the Perverted to see it from a whole different perspective! :P

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          In my experience, any woman who dates outside of their race has the first two things you mentioned by the truckload. The goofiness comes from dealing with a culture outside of the one she grew up with, so there always going to be a few things lost in the translation. The lack of inhibition is self-explanatory.

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

            I blame the alcohol…

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            VERY true!

        • Justmetheguy

          +1 Jay- Kendra is sexy (even tho I didn’t know who she was until I googled her just now). That description u just gave about her non-physical attributes sounds like somebody else I know tho….(as if y’all have to guess) and she’s pretty irresistible so I’d have to agree with that analysis verbatim

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            This chick is NOT in the least attractive. What are ya’ll seeing?! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but nah uh, I refuse this one’s beauty oo!

            • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

              Man Law 101 (For women)

              When referring to women –

              Sexy means that you would love to have “sex” with a woman.
              Beauty means that you would like to possess a woman

              • Justmetheguy

                Yeah, at this point in my life “beauty” (ESPECIALLY as defined by women) is soooooo boring, subjective, and overrated that I don’t want NANN parts of beauty. Give me sexy ALL day anyday. Ideally most men would want a woman that’s both sexy and beautiful but that’s so rare that you can’t go out expecting to find that.

                • Iceprincess

                  @JMTG- that rare mix of beauty & sexy u speak of? Im rite here!!

                  • Justmetheguy

                    @IP Mmmhmm…pics or it’s not true lol

                    • Iceprincess

                      Sorry yo, no can do. I got waaay too many enemies in high places to be posting pix on the internets lol.

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                oooga,abeg with all dis your laws and orders.

                Ya’ll are lying!

                • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

                  Lol,

                  I never lie about what men are and what we do.

                  As far as what we say and do to you, we lie more than we think about sex.

                  • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

                    Another Man Law 101

                    “The ratio of a man’s horniness to his dishonesty is 1:5.” An average man who is horny will tell at least 5 lies to get his rocks off. If you’re dating a man who needs it all the time, better get a lie detector implanted into your ear.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      listen,

                      How ya’ll see this chic as bangatastic is beyond me…..more power to ya’ll!

                  • A Woman’s Eyes

                    Yep, you got that right! P.A.

          • MJoy

            maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I love you

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    Mommy, I want to be the next Montana Fishbourne.

    This would send me to a mental health institution! Seriously.

    Happy Father’s day, Jammy Jams!!!

    • Aly

      Umm, yeah. I think anything relating in anyway to the pr0n industry…

      “Mom, I’d like you to meet my new wife (insert pr0n actress name here). Oh, and guess what? She’s pregnant!”

      or

      “Mom, I’ve decided to skip college to pursue my dream of becoming the next Wesley Pipes.”

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        “Mom, I’ve decided to skip college to pursue my dream of becoming the next Wesley Pipes.”

        Crazy as that sounds, I wouldn’t necessarily mind my kid as a pr0n star, and that includes my daughter. It isn’t a dream, but I think it’s something that could work managed right. After all, there’s testing and condoms and rules and regulations. So long as someone has a pr0n star’s back, you can come out of it alive to fight another day.

        • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

          I agree on this. It wouldn’t be the easy thing to deal with, but as long as they weren’t being forced to do it I would accept it.

        • Aly

          @Todd- I don’t believe you (sorry). No man in the history of all time has ever been ok with their daughter- their DAUGHTER – being a pr0n star. Nope, can’t convince me otherwise. You actually have a daughter don’t you?

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            Yes, I actually do have a daughter. She’s 2 right now. Trust me, I wouldn’t exactly pop champagne if she grew up to make that decision, but if she was of sound mind and body, and no one was forcing her to do it, I would be OK with it. It’s an honest (and legal) way to make a living, and I would back her up.

            • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

              More humans requested. I wonder what exactly would lead a young person to that career?

              • Aly

                Ha! Is this another way of saying “you need more people”?

                • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                  Yes. I stole that from one of y’all.

                • MJoy

                  waaay more people

                  • Breezy

                    + 3 @Todd, you need a mini village to support this mess and by mini village I mean China.

                    • LSQ

                      If I am not mistaken, Jenna Jameson’s dad fully supported her pr0n career.

        • Yoles

          there is a p0rn star, a young white girl whose parents yes her parents are her managers, costume design, A&R, publicist and everything else… i can’t remember her name right now but i am sure it will come to me later… and her parents have been interviewed before and are PROUD of her accomplishments… go figure

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          yeah, i can’t roll with that one. that would be the ultimate disgrace to me. even if she was managed by the ninja who turned Ryan Gosling into a star. i couldn’t be happy about it no way, no how.

          • Justmetheguy

            +1- I don’t want my daughter or son involved in pron. I’d rather them be broke and unemployed.

          • Around the Way Girl

            Um…is that shade toward Ryan Gosling??? Wth is up with that? He is an awesome actor and sexy as hell. If anyone doubts it (the acting chops), go watch “Half Nelson,” “Blue Valentine,” and “All Good Things” and get back to me.

            • Justmetheguy

              Just watched Half Nelson a few days ago. He was definitely convincing in that one…I couldn’t even tell it was him. Looked and behaved very differently than he did in Drive

              • Around the Way Girl

                Half Nelson is one of my all time favorite movies. Brilliant.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          @ Todd

          You need more people!!!! Shoo, you need all the Chinese people to back you on this!Say WARRRRRRRRRRR?!!?!!?!?!?!?!? iCan’t!

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        ““Mom, I’d like you to meet my new wife (insert pr0n actress name here). Oh, and guess what? She’s pregnant!””

        *sings very loudly* And we’ll live one hell of a life!!!

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          No more drugs for me! Pu$$y and religion is all I need! LOL

          • Sweet GA Brown

            Megan Good???

            • Breezy

              Gat dammit GA…this is not where the corner is located. Find it and stay there! Don’t you know she is married now…..

              *strong side eye at my own comment*

              • Sweet GA Brown

                But…..nevermind
                *rolls neck and turns around to corner again

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    “He’s my pimp.”

    • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

      @ Malik you hear about the story in Frisco were a father and mother found out their 17 yr old daughter was being pimped by her 22 yr old friend? Father found that dude and dumped the whole clip. Called the police himself and told them to take him to jail

      • Iceprincess

        Lmao! Damn skippy.

      • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        This is why I can’t give birth yet. If my daughter/son told me this it would be hard for me to not go the prison route afterwards.

      • b sweet

        DAMN!!

      • Sweet GA Brown

        Ya win some and loose some but in the end…

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        I heard that story as well and while it’s admirable that he went out to get his daughter back, murdering dude when you’re already a felon and obviously on some premeditated merk a ninja steez just aint a good look. NOW you have 4 children who’s parents are out of the picture for good. and what can you do from prison? what if she goes back into that life with another pimp? then you lost all the way around.

        naw, what you do in this situation is move your whole damn family to Idaho. thats what you do.

        • Justmetheguy

          Lmao! Except that living in Idaho is a loss in itself. And how hilarious would it be if Idaho had even more pimps lol

        • http://blackmedici.wordpress.com Black Medici

          That’s all guilt though. Every man knows when he’s dealing with a ho, especially if she’s your daughter.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Agreed. I would be thinking about that every single mistake I made as a dad after that.

  • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

    Daddy, this band called Parliament Funkadelic sucks- Words I might banish my daughter for

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      who are those?! are they normal or is alien music?

      • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem
        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          they fuuuuunky!!! reminds me of my disco days!

          • http://voodoochile88.tumblr.com/ Craig and Dem

            That’s the type of music my grandfather got me into as a kid I love me some P-Funk!

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      George Clinton is like the Sun Ra for funk except popular instead of marginalized.

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      My daughter will get kicked out of the house if she said anything negative about The Isley Brothers, Rick James and Roy Ayers!

      Daughter: Daddy, why does Ronald Isley sing like he’s in pain?
      Me: Get your ass out!

    • Around the Way Girl

      Oooooh, this one would hurt!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      as much of a music head as I am, i dont think i’d care about my daughter no liking certain groups i like or whatnot. as long as she loves music (which she does) i’d be okay. well okay, as long as it aint the type of music that inspires goth attire.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      What?! They better not say that! Parliament Funk is the truth! lol

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    “I’m a Patriots fan.” I’d probably disown you after that.

    • Rog

      Yup or a Steelers fans

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      LMFAO!!! this is why i mess with malik.
      this sentence was uttered by my lil sis’ dude and we ALL (moms included) gave him the side eye of death.
      LOLLLLL

  • Iceprincess

    Happy fathers day P! Did u spend it with your daughter? What did yall do? The BD & I took our son to madagascar 3. It was real good! I highly suggest it if she hasnt already seen it :-)

    • nillalatte

      Yeah, PJ, what Ice said!

      My friend stepped up and was a ‘stand in’ daddy today. He invited my son and me to the park where he, his son and my son played baseball then we all went to dinner. Of course, there is no substitute for father’s that are not in their kids lives, particularly on celebratory days such as today, but in all, it was a good day.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      yeah we spent the weekend chillin mostly. bbq at a park in DC on saturday. hanging with my friends and her “uncles” etc. then went out to eat with some other friends and a lot of playing “school”. my daughter loves being a teacher.

      her mother took her to see Madagascar 3. i cant wait to see it myself.

      thanks for the father’s day wishes.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/cnote220 Cheech

    My daughter: “I’m going to live my life like Kim Kardashian.”

    My son: “I have 31 kids and 15 baby mamas. Where’s the cash?”

    • https://twitter.com/#!/cnote220 Cheech

      Also idolizing Karl Rove, Italian mob, Saddam Hussein and certain other figures will get them disowned

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      okay…follow me here. short of being a known jumpoff (which lets face it, a lot of women are, just not publicly) being Kim Kardashian like actually aint that bad is it? she’s successful for being alive. and she’s got enough money to buy her boyfriend a 750k car. i dont know that she’s losing in life. most of her negative press solely comes from us.

      i mean sure, she got this far by being taped smanging Ray J. but let’s be real, i’ll bet there are a whole lot of women he smanged who WISHED they had a tape with him. lol.

      so short of the public shame part which really aint that shaming…i dont know if thats so bad.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/cnote220 Cheech

        She’s not doign bad for herself true but I don’t want my daughter thinking freaking a c-list actor and singer on camera will help make her famous or depriving herself of privacy just because she wants attention is a good thing. Kim K is a well-paid attention whore and no one would want their daughter to be craving attention so much that they stoop as low as she does

      • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

        Man, if my daughter has to smang a musician and it be released to the public, at least let him be talented.

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          BOL!!

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        ” most of her negative press solely comes from us.”

        Change “us” to “Black women” and you got it about right.

        Kim K. stays winning. Maybe that’s why out of the people who don’t like her many tend to be Black women.

      • Around the Way Girl

        Kim K. is definitely not the vapid wench people wish she was. I get it, it’s unfair that someone born that beautiful and privileged should have such a (seemingly) charmed life. But I just watched a special on the Kardashians, I think it was True Hollywood Story, where I learned that Kim was making bank doing what she’s good at (styling and fashion sh!t) even before the whole sex tape scandal. She’s very savvy and well-connected, which comes from her work ethic and not just sitting on her @ss. I have some respect for her.

  • MJoy

    “I think those republicans have the right idea”

    “I’m joining the marines”

    “let’s go red sox!” that one was painful to even write

    “look at that fat b*tch! Hahahaha”

    “I’m no captain save a heaux”

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      The Marines aren’t all bad.

    • That Ugly Kid

      “I’m joining the marines”

      Seeing as how I did the same and I know a ton of Marines, I can’t co sign this.

      • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

        I’ve wanted to be a Marine forever and a day. I give myself two years to think about it but haven’t heard anything positive from female Marines or dudes in the Marines about women in th the Marines. What is your honest TUK opinion?

        • That Ugly Kid

          I have all the respect in the world for Marines. And those are some of the coolest, realest people you will ever meet. Ever. They go through a lot of bullsh*t for this country. And I’m not just talking about dangerous wars. I’m talking about social life. Friends, family, etc. It’s hard for military people to maintain a relationship because they’re always traveling. I got cheated on while I was in Basic, as did almost half the guys in my platoon. The mental stress of having little contact with friends, family, and having your spouse betray your trust on top of having to worry about whether or not you’re going to live to see the next sunrise. Being the the first to fight. I don’t give a f*ck what anyone says, Marines will forever be awesome.

          Just be careful. Because there are some Marines who do dumb sh*t and mess up the good name. But overall they serve with honor. And sacrifice a lot.

          • b sweet

            I agree TUK. I lived in a military town for a few years and, unfortunately, civilians do associate certain stereotypes with certain branches of the military. Sad but true. It doesn’t help me that my last high school boyfriend went into the marines after high school and he was bat s#it crazy, but I digress. I respect what you do for our country, with your crazy @ss! lol

            • MJoy

              Let me rephrase…. Nothing against the marines… I guess I’d just never want to hear “Mom, I’m going to war”

          • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

            My last year of school I was talking to recruiters and planning on a way to tell my family but got cold feet. I need to send somebody an email. Marines have always had a special place in my heart (tho I also wanted that place to be my bedroom ;)) I do give all respect in the world to anyone in the military because of the reasons you stated. Being far away and not knowing what will happen back home AND having no control over it is something terrible. Not sure why I’m drawn to this branch of service but its calling me.

            • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

              Honestly try for the Air Force first. If you really want to be with the Marines, just join the Navy’s medical corps.

              • http://www.twitter.com/Think2Inspire Think2Inspire

                Never heard of this. *runs to google*

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Thank you TUK.

            I’d love to be trolloped by a Marine. woot! woot!

          • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

            I have a thing for men in uniform. You got a picture? I just wanna look at it and….um….look at it.

        • Sweet GA Brown

          As a sailor that deployed with Marines on a ship, female marines are treated like the men. Honeslty they are a bit more masculine and tend to be a bit heauxish(when deployed on a ship they loose they minds seeing all those male sailors). But not matter what, as a sailor I always respected them because I couldnt go into that branch. As a marine or military member when you join that branch you are a comrad and nothing else matters. You will be amazed at how well you adjust to your conditions and situations. Not all females in the branch are heauxs thats just a small handful (that everybody knew of while on deployment). Besides that I say go for it because of any branch a female marine get the most respect. Or…….GO NAVY!!!!

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      “I’m no captain save a heaux”

      Wait…you want a child that’s Captain Save-em’? I’m sorry, but that sounds like a really $hitty retirement on my end, since I’ll end up having to ride shotgun with them to their latest mission. Screw that!

      • MJoy

        people who say that are just azzholes. I don’t want my kid to be an azzhole.

        • southernsweetness

          +1. I ALMOST ALWAYS agree with what you say. Kudos!!!

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      “look at that fat b*tch! Hahahaha”

      You know damn well at any given moment in their life, a little kid is going to call out a fat person- they do it all the time! Come to the South…you’ll see it a lot…

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Yes, little children do it. They say, “That lady is fat!”

        • Breezy

          Kids don’t play. Yesterday, I made the mistake of letting my little girl see me consume the last 2 ice-cream sandwiches. She walks up to me talking about “Mommy, I only had 1 and you eat the whole box. You are gonna have one big fat tummy”….as she walks off looking BACK OVER HER SHOULDER at me in disgust. I felt like the Chick-fill -a Cow.

          • BeautifullyHuman

            This made me laugh out loud!

          • nillalatte

            Brutal! lol

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            awww LMAO

    • demondog06

      ““I think those republicans have the right idea”

      the older i get the more republican i become

      “I’m joining the marines”

      sorry babe, don’t feel you there, my pops was a marine, i got mass love and respect for the corps “semper fi”

      “I’m no captain save a heaux”

      this is a great philosophy! you don’t want a simp for a son or a takin care of a grown azz man sleepin on her couch playin x box all day right?

    • MJoy

      Well, fugg alla yall! lol. No disrespect to the Marines… The idea of my child being in ANY armed forces just scares the beJesus out of me.

      And I just don’t want them using the word heaux… when people say the Captain save a heaux thing many times the person they’re talking about isn’t actually a heaux and doesn’t actually need saving. It’s overused and would be a no-no phrase in my house. Step your vocab up. Expand and sh*t.

      • demondog06

        ” Step your vocab up. Expand and sh*t. ”

        No….

  • Latonya

    It can be worst you daughter can say she wants to be the only black mom on Teen Mom!

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      I will personally ship her back to Africa!

    • MJoy

      And we have a winner

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      Since Bristol Palin gets paid $350/year by the Candies Foundation, $25K from Dancing with the Stars, and wrote a best-selling memoir…I get why teenagers think that isht is cute.

      Oh, the “Teen Moms” make $60K/yr from MTV. Somewhere, there’s someone with a PhD trying to find the cure for cancer who is making less than half that. *cries*

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        Word. The postdoc struggle is a real one. Yes, you can make money with a PhD, but they require you to line cross with a Postdoc that doesn’t pay that much. Plus you get to see all your college friends get married, buy houses and start families while you’re still grinding. Yikes!

        • Ms. Bridget

          This is my life. *whimpers quietly in the lab*

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Word. Snooki got paid some outrageous fee to speak at Rutugers. This (she) just goes against EVERYTHING I’m trying to teach at home.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          That Snooki thing was overplayed IMHO. (Full disclosure: I was heavily involved in student leadership at Rutgers, so I know how they arrange for stuff like Snooki.) Simply put, the Student Activity funds at Rutgers are cray. Think about it like this. $150 times 35,000 means money for all kinds of foolishness. Throw in the fact that save for anything blatantly illegal or dedicated to treason that any funding idea can and will get approved, and that administration has little say-so (or even knowledge) of what happens to the money, and that’s how Snooki gets paid more than Maya Angelou. The scary thing is that at least Snooki is a pop cultural phenomenon with a connection to New Jersey, and that Rutgers has a whole academic center tied to New Jersey popular culture. If I told you some of the dumb $hit Student Activity money has funded, you would be amazed.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            And you wonder why they call it the RU Serew….

            • Sigma_Since 93

              Dang it!!! I can’t spell this morning. I meant to type screw

            • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

              Ah, the RU Screw. Everyone gets it once! :)

              Seriously though, unless the school magically takes up less space somehow, the RU Screw is always going to be with us. When you have a school where it takes close to 10 minutes of expressway driving to get from one end of campus to the other, there’s no good way to coordinate everything. Heck, my department was based in a building that was easily twice the size of my high school, and it wasn’t considered incredibly big for the campus.

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          Over Toni Morrison, of all people!!!

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        “Oh, the “Teen Moms” make $60K/yr from MTV.”

        LOL, that sounds about right. I’ve seen more than one black girl on there; more biracial girls. Teen Mom does not make teen pregnancy look cute though. The babies happen to be cute but that foolishness those girls go through should be enough to help these girls keep their legs closed. (I have a feeling the boys aren’t the ones watching it.)

      • nillalatte

        Isn’t it shameful the value placed on foolishness instead of humanitarian issues? smdh

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Well, there was a Black mom on Teen Mom. Thankfully the baby daddy was White. At least us brothers missed a bullet with that one.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      and that would be my fault as a parent. 100 percent.