First things first, shout outs to the Seattle Seahawks who put THE most tremendous asswhippin’ on the Denver Broncos at the Super Bowl. Good googly moogly. In a bout of “that’s what she said” that D held it down like none other. Despite the title of this post, the gifs and memes I saw at the expense of Peyton Manning and the Broncos definitely made my evening. Congrats to the Legion of Boom and the 12th Man.
Oh, Internet, how I love and hate thee. While the Internet might be the place where baskets full of kittens reside and where the people who created the Irish Springs smell all met, it’s also the holding cell for some of the worst denizens of humanity. Now don’t get me wrong, I love doing hoodrat things with my friends just like everybody else so I do have a certain ironic appreciation for the worst of times, you know, Ishmael and all.
Moving on. Since I spend so much time on the ‘nets (no Brooklyn) reading and engaging and putting rings on things in the way of likes, comments, and up, up for the downvote, I have come to realize that there are certain terms, ideas, and phrases that have come to annoy the living f*ck out of me on the Internet. It’s not because the words themselves are a problem, it’s because they’ve been debated, dispuated, hated and viewed in America by so many folks that I get lost in the sauce. And because I don’t trust things I don’t understand and since I found Jesus next to my love in a hopeless place, well, I figured I’d share with you the words I current hate because of the Internet.
Ready, set, go.
1. Thirst/Thirst trap
Amazingly, because the Internet has over used the concept of a thirst trap so much, I find myself using the term…though usually in the most non-sensical way possible. For instance, I’ll be at church and the pastor will say “Jesus saves” and I’ll say, “yeah, Jesus was thirst trappin’.” Okay, that’s not true, I wasn’t in church when I said that. Point is, the terms “thirst” “thirst trap” have become SO overrused via people everywhere that I’ve started to hate their existence. A lot. EVERYTHING IS NOT A DAMN THIRST TRAP.
Can we rap a taste? Cool. I’m so gotdamn tired of people positing their “theories” about everything. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you have a theory. Though I suppose every idea that you have about why something happens is technically a theory. Somehow, Twitter is amiss with everybody and their damn theories about theories. I’ve got a theory that your theory is wrong my ninja. Stop theorizing. Theoretically, I’m just over people and their damn theories. Can we come up with a new word or something for “people on the internet thinking?” Please, for the love of the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria.
Do you all realize that Christopher Columbus was ridin’ around with that Nina?
These are the jokes folks. I’m here every Tuesday.
3. Rape culture
This is a touchy one, but creep with me. Pun. I had NEVER heard the term rape culture until it became one of the most ubiquitous terms ANYWHERE online to discuss boys behaving badly. And to be clearly, boys do behave badly. But I think it started to get taken too far. I’m almost surprised that Richard Sherman’s rant heard ’round the world didn’t SOMEHOW get turned into a discussion of rape culture. And I’m so dead serious. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist – there clearly is a rape culture that’s probably not had such a defining term attached to it before – but there was a time on the Internet where tossing the word rape culture a littering didn’t seem far fetched. Seriously.
I said it before so I won’t go too deep here, but again, the idea and concept of feminism has been SO skewered by the Internets that I’m at the point of (perhaps convenient) disdain for it. The term, not the movement. Women’s rights and equality. I’m for that sh*t.
I HATE the idea of everything as a narrative. But when you read as many stories online about n*ggas theories on things such as feminism, and rape culture, well, the word narrative shows up pretty much EVERY time. Everything gets devolved into a narrative of something or other now. Goldie Locks and the 3 Bears isn’t just a fairy tale, its a narrative that speaks to the what the skinny white yoga girl was alluding to the other day…and my next one…
6. White privilege
It clearly exists, but I think some folks concept of white privilege may not be as fine tuned as we think. Just saying, the next 10 times I hear the term white privilege in terms of somebody getting that last Coke out the machine will be…well, the next 10 times.
You know, I really should have titled this post: My Theory about the Narrative of The Effects of Rape Culture, Feminism and the Thirst of White Privelege.
Except then I’d have to blow my brains out. Fight me.
So, are there any words or terms you now hate because of the Internet?
Talk to me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I HATE EVERYTHING aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3