Theory & Essay

Why Women Are Smarter In Relationships Than Men

If I cheat on my fiancee with one of Shaq's jumpoffs, my girl will NEVER EVER know. Gossip blogs NEVER cover Shaq.

Somewhere between the time a man decides to commit to a woman and the time she accepts, a significant power shift seems to take place between the two. While the mainstream media would have everybody believe that women are effectively powerless boobed gnomes waiting around for Prince Charming to show up and sop them up with a biscuit, they stopped discussing what happens after a woman amazingly finds a Black man who can read.

In the pursuit stage, women lose all sense of common and are at the mercy of the too cool brotha who is playing his percentages and not trusting big butts, smiles or women who are a little too overjoyed whenever an India.Arie song gets played. Women question every action the man makes. He just took a shower, does that mean he’s going to propose? My last girlfriend said her man proposed RIGHT after he got out of the shower.

IT’S MY TURN!!!!!! *tinyhandfastclap*

It’s not.

But right after a man decides that he wants to lock a chick down (not marriage here, but even just exclusivity) it seems like all that common sense shifts from man to woman. There’s a reason why all of the TV shows are staffed with the bumbling defeated husband and the witty, somewhat self-assured but definitely more often than not voice of reason. I’m not saying this is always the case, but I’ve witnessed this with my own two eyes before and I’m sure I’ve fallen victim to this a time or two.

I’m man enough to admit that men do and say some retarded sh*t. It’s the reason we get caught up so often. We lose focus. We get a good woman and somehow she get’s focused, realizes how to and we start paying attention to the wrong sh*t. Which brings me to something I witnessed which crystallized the whole idea. Creep with me.

I’m a gangsta of gangsta proportions. I drive a big black car. I be bumpin’ my music. I’m driving down a famous PG county thoroughfare, bumpin’ my music, and I see a couple. Now, I was peacocking. And of course, ole girl peeps whose in the car because she obviously does hoodrat things with her hoodrat friends on Saturdays. So she’s peeping me…and so is her dude. This is how men get caught up. Plain and simple. We get caught looking at other women because our women look at us looking at the other women. Mostly because we’re slow on the cease and desist. But they catch us. Men? What do we do?

We also peep the guy the chick is looking at. Because we’re looking at the same sh*t she is and thinking, man, what is he listening to? So she manages to peep another guy, do a full cavity scope…while we’re doing the same thing. There’s no way in hell a man could pull this off. We’d get caught mid drool and catch a convo we’re going to fumble. Women don’t mind us looking. They mind us looking too long. But women can stare for a solid 10 minutes at another dude, because our dumb arses are looking too.

“Man, those shoes are dope.”

“Oh my god, that’s Idris Elba…I’d bone him like a Brontosaurus fossil.”

Not exactly reinventing the wheel here. But it speaks volumes about why women stay winning once she gets a man to commit aside from that whole cheating and infidelity and thing. Of course, this is a loose definition of winning and basically means, “doesn’t get caught slipping as much”. Us menfolks get caught slipping because we just move in the moment whereas women are playing longterm strategies. And I for one couldn’t be happier about this. I mean think about it. For every batsh*t story crazy we have about a woman, there is a man out there who loves her to itsy bitsy pieces. Hell, half the time it’s us.

Nobody writes about that in the Washington Post. But somewhere along the way, those women learn how to make quick and pointed observations that we start having to concede. A lot. Heckynaw, for every purely insane comment we get here at VSB, we’re met with 100 from extremely levelheaded women in relationships who are dating men who get caught up. Usher. Maybe not caught up cheating, but caught up doing man things like having inappropriate convos for NO good reason. And in some fashion to get caught. We ain’t even gonna cheat. We just get roped into those convos because women know how dumb we can be and will test the waters with some dude who never figured out how to say no or avoid trouble without throwing the laptop out of the window. While we’re just dating, the right hand has no knowledge of what the left hand is doing. As soon as we get committed, men start getting sloppy and lazy.

At the end of the day, women keep that same focus they had to get into the relationship and men…go play basketball and forget to pick up the water crackers (I don’t know either).

Funny this lil’ relationship thing, huh?

So people of VSB, truth or fiction? Nickels or dimes? T or A?

Choose your own adventure. Then talk to me.

Oh, and #GOBULLS

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka ALOYSIUS PIMPHANDS aka TICKLE ME EMO P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

 

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

    Firstly, duh.

    Secondly, I’m just gonna kick my feet up and enjoy the fireworks this post is sure to set off.

    (pops some movie butter popcorn and puts some Dr. Pepper on ice)

  • http://twitter.com/ronbronson RB

    The more I read here, the less I feel I have the problems I thought I had.

  • http://iamyourpeople.com/ I Am Your People

    Why women are smarter in relationships is simple – women are looking for long-term stability, men are looking for short-term T&A.

    Agreed #GoBulls
    On that note, random story: my co-worker was in Vegas during NBA rookie camp Joakim Noah’s rookie year. She said he was literally grabbing ANY random chick (cute, ugly, fat, skinny…anything with a v@gina) piled them in his limo (yup, she went – geeky white chick too) and said he got in all the various club doormen’s faces like “look, I have girls now.” She said he was socially awkward as h3ll and didn’t even really talk to the girls, he just wanted to prove he could pull chicks. But then it was like ‘um…now what do I do with ‘em?”

  • Simba.Africanna

    I think get caught slipping less often because a) they cover up their tracks much better/faster & b) they’re better at managing/containing their instincts than us menfolk (in part because they’re not tempted/pushed as often….but that’s another story).

    If you’re drooling 5 times a day, you _will_ more get caught with the spit all over the place than she who drools once a every other day. #justSayin

  • http://invisiblemannakedcity.wordpress.com InvisibleManNakedCity

    Co-sign.

    I can think of a point in every relationship (usually after about a month or so) when I realize the woman has suddenly wised up and taken the upperhand in the relationship. At that point, I learn how to practice saying “I’m sorry baby” a whole lot more than “No babe, you’re just not seeing it right.”

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    Hmm. I might agree with this theory. I am starting to think more short term tho. Short term strategies are gonna get me to long term payoff. That’s the idea, anyway.

  • http://naturallyalise.com/blog Naturally Alise

    Yes, we are way smarter but somehow sometimes this s a detriment. Sometimes we are so smart that we over intellectualize the wrong sh*t and end up in bed with our degrees…. le sigh…

  • Lady in Red

    Just want to co-sign #GoBulls! This game has left me too incoherent to form any intelligent thoughts.

  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

    women aren’t always smarter than men in relationships. dumb men make dumb relationship partners. smart men can also make dumb relationship partners. it’s really how a man approaches a relationship. me? i’m smart.

  • http://shesoflyy.wordpress.com Muze

    i’m going to try again in the morning because i understood exactly 3.67% of this post, and that was the title. lol. goodnight. #ineedsleep.

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