Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

With Men, Is EVERYTHING Always Just Really About Sex?

"Wait a second! They told me there'd be chicks up here!"

I first fell in love with basketball when I turned six years old. The Harlem Globetrotters always make their yearly Pittsburgh appearance around the time of my birthday (December 30th), and one of the gifts for my sixth birthday was a trip downtown to the Civic Arena to see them.

From that moment on, I’ve been infatuated with basketball. As a kid, I’d play for hours a day; shooting by myself, practicing Tim Hardaway’s UTEP Two Step, challenging anybody — peers, old people, firemen — to any type of basketball-related game. When I wasn’t playing I was reading Street and Smiths, Hoop Magazines, and Basketball Digests, collecting basketball cards, watching games on TBS and NBC, and buying USA Todays to check NBA box scores because the local papers wouldn’t have them.

This love continued through my adolescence and teen years, a love that cultivated a basketball talent that people began to recognize. I starred on my middle school, AAU, and high school teams, and was good enough to receive about a dozen or so full scholarship offers.

And, while many of my friends — people who also received basketball scholarships — have mentioned that college was the place where basketball stopped being fun and started being a job, I didn’t have that experience. I still loved it as much as I did when I ws eight.

It still hasn’t dissipated. Although my schedule just doesn’t allow me to play as much as I used to, I do make certain that I make room to play at least twice a week. I also have the NBA pass, the NBA broadband pass, a subscription to ESPN.com just so I can read the insider NBA articles, and I spend much of my free time online reading and watching basketball. In fact, as I’m writing this, I have another window open to a YouTube mixtape of some high school point guard from Florida.

Now, my love for basketball seems to contradict the theory that everything males do has some relationship to sex and sexual access. I started playing when I was six, back when the only thing I knew about girls was that they (usually) smelled good, drank a lot of milk, and had separate bathrooms. The love that grew was a genuine love, an adoration that had nothing to do with anything other than how much I loved everything about the game. I didn’t spent countless hours at the park because girls where there. In fact, there’d be days when I’d go hours without seeing anyone else there. I did it because I loved to do it.

Even today, as that love has continued to flourish, women don’t factor in at all to this equation. I mean, I’m not exactly sure what (some) women find attractive in me, but I’m pretty sure that the idea of me sitting on my laptop, scratching my balls and reading some 5,000 word long deconstruction of Paul Pierce’s post moves isn’t getting them all hot and bothered

But, rewinding back to my 6th birthday, can I say with all certainty that I didn’t pick up on the fact that people — men and women — seemed to think that people who were really good at basketball were also really cool? No, I can’t. I also can’t dismiss the possibility that realizing basketball was a “cool” hobby to have — as opposed to, I don’t know, worm collecting — “helped” me fall in love with it even more.

Was “If I get good at this, people will like me a lot. And, girls like guys who people like a lot” a conscious thought? Of course not. Any serious athlete can easily pinpoint the people who only play because they think it’s cool, and I definitely wasn’t one of them. But, I do think that the status given to guys who are good at it was on my mind on some subconscious level. I played it, read about it, watched it, talked about it, and thought about it because I loved it, but part of the reason why I loved it was because some part of me knew that loving it would reap benefits.

Now, my relationship with basketball is just one example, my example. But, I don’t think it’s really all that different than similar relationships men have with playing an instrument or traveling or entrepreneurship or climbing Mt. Everest or, shit, founding a blog — all things that have absolutely nothing to do with sex. We do these things because we genuinely love them and genuinely enjoy doing them.

But, while (most) guys who climb mountains don’t climb mountains because they heard there was some p*ssy up there, when the urge to climb first sprung in his mind, its continued cultivation was probably at least partially due to the fact that the mountain climber felt that the type of women (or men) he wanted sexual access to are into the type of men who would climb a mountain.

For men, is everything always really just about sex? Eh, not really. But, it kinda, sorta is. Sorry Harlem Globetrotters. It never really was about you.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com weethomas

    If this comment gets me laid, then yes.

    • Iceprincess

      BOL!!

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      LMFAO.
      quits.

    • YeahSo

      lol… well played.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      *dies*

    • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

      HA!

  • Kandi

    Iono abt men and everything being about sex but at 8 months sex-free the wind could blow and I’m ready.

    • http://twitter.com/chrisgholston IckeyShufflin

      Kandi…call me.

    • Beautifullyhuman

      Girl I know all about it. I’ve been there. Lol. I had a two year celibacy (never again)…I was going hard in the paint at one point trying to purge. All it took was a whisper and some warm breath and I was ready. Lmao.

      Celibacy = a lot of “me and my vibrating friends” time. Lol

      • http://twitter.com/chrisgholston IckeyShufflin

        Beautifullyhuman…call me.

        • nillalatte

          Pandering, much? lol

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            Pandering? More like pimpin’. Mm hm.

            • nillalatte

              Heyyyayyy… she’s baaaaaaack… :D

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                ;)

            • LeonieUK

              Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she back!!!!!!!!!!

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                Shucks. :D

                Guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. You all will soon be sick of me again.

                • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                  NEVER!

            • That Ugly Kid

              TAC IS HERE!!! *percalates*

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                *cha chas real smoove to keep from blushing*

          • IckeyShufflin

            Hey…somebody has to pick the low-hanging fruit. Might as well be me. :)

            • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

              *howls and decides to log off*

              • Breezy

                Kandi & BH: Try 3 years and counting!!!! I am pretty sure I have everyone beat in this category.

                • JamaicanGirl

                  3 Years and counting, i am only on 3 months and the thirst is real. I have purchased a double pack of heavy duty batteries and they seem to last but so long. Is there a book, a manual does it get easier with time help a sister out???

                  • miss t-lee

                    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news chica…lol

                  • Breezy

                    JamaicanGirl: Alas there is no book or manual that I know of. 2 of the years I was busy getting my emotions in order after the divorce. The last year and counting is because I just wanna take things slow and I have only recently meant the “boo”. I have a very HEALTHY, HYPER, STRONG chexing appetite so once it does go there…he is in alot of trouble.

                    • BeautifullyHuman

                      That’s why I went celibate. It wasn’t because I was trying to be a c*ock tease, I just needed to purge after having my heart broken. Interestingly, as h.orny as I was, celibacy provided me with much needed clarity. It was a period for me to decide what I wanted and needed from a man who I chose to give my temple to.

                      Everyone has their own reasons for celibacy. It doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, but to those practicing it, there can be significant reasons behind it.

                • Anastasia!!!

                  I got you boo – It was Halloween of 2005.

                  do the math.

                  :-?

                  • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                    You win.

                  • She Who Reads

                    Halloween 2005? Dear Jesus. Are you stationed in the Alaskan wilderness?

                    • miss t-lee

                      *tears*

                  • BeautifullyHuman

                    @ Anastasia

                    You deserve some sort of medal or honor or something. Shid…aint no way in hell I could do it. You’re a strong woman…lol.

                  • nillalatte

                    “Halloween of 2005.”

                    I have won the gold of celibacy! June 2003— when I left my ex. The next 6-7 years I spent raising kids and fighting him in court. I seriously didn’t have time to think about a man. I had mentality closed shop on desires. It was all I could do to get through each day alive. Depression and anxiety is a mofo when you trying to hold down a job, raise three young kids, deal with a psychopath and the court system. Only recently did my friend help me break that pattern – Father’s day 2012. I ain’t never gonna forget! And, damn, I don’t think he realized what he unleashed! lol…

                    • Justmetheguy

                      Dear NillaLatte What…The….Fcuk….u do realize that I was in high school the last time you did the horizontal tango right?! You do realize I’ve been out of college for 4 years right? Da hayull, those excuses you gave ain’t cuttin it lol. U need u an internal massage ASAP, you shouldn’t do your body like that it’s unhealthy and sh*t (wonders where Meisarebel went)

                    • nillalatte

                      @ JMTG… lmao… things are much better now, trust. My friend now was my friend back then. He had enough interest and respect (?) to give me the time I needed to get my life together. Of course, he didn’t wait on me for sex, and that’s okay because we didn’t have that kind of relationship back then. He kept in touch and frequently asked me if I was ready to date. He never pushed me, which was appreciated. I explained with all the turmoil going on in my life getting into a relationship wasn’t healthy or fair to me or to the man I might be with. He accepted that and, seriously, became my rock. And, I think you read that wrong JMTG… I just reinstated my ‘get me some’ card 2mos ago. :D

                    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

                      well damn.
                      but you know what – im glad you did what you had to do.
                      many people aren’t strong enough for that.

                    • A Woman’s Eyes

                      Nilla you are telling my story, except it was 3 years! I ain’t been celibate for a minute! LMAO *cues in Missy Elliot’s Get Ya Freak On*

                • IckeyShufflin

                  I just don’t understand. What is the point in this whole celibacy thing? Who wins? No one. Who loses? Everyone. Life is too short. SMDH.

                  • SweetSass

                    Who loses: Public lice?

                    Who wins: Manufacterer of the Hitachi magic wand.

                    • SweetSass

                      Damn auto correct… pubic.

                    • JamaicanGirl

                      Sweetsass, i want a Magic Wand i saw one on Amazon. I think this is a sign to purchase it, i think i will.

                  • Kema

                    I dont understand either. I once went a month without.

                • BeautifullyHuman

                  @ Breezy

                  I thought you were getting that good love?!? You had me and Aly fanning ourselves a few weeks ago. lol

                  • Aly

                    That’s what I was wondering too lol! If I remember correctly she was talking about her ex in that scenario, but I thought Breezy had a man!

                    • Breezy

                      BH and ALY: In one post I was recalling how the ex-hubby and I got down. I currently have a boo but we haven’t *ahem* made mac and cheese.

                • Kandi

                  3 years, my dear you are a virgin again. you waiting for marriage or have some other reasoning. Just curious??

                  • Breezy

                    Kandi: See my reply above.

                • sincereluv4life

                  anybody got 5 yrs? & I’m cute too, I might have to get out of NY b4 I meet the right guy. *scratches head*

      • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

        In my informed opinion, celibacy causes more mental and emotional turmoil and leads to more ill thought out decisions than promiscuity. Just say no to dry nether regions.

        • BeautifullyHuman

          “Just say no to dry nether regions”

          Can we get this put on a shirt?! Stat! I think this just might beat out Panama’s Hillman tee icebreaker. lol

          I’m almost willing to wager on it.

        • Kandi

          *** Peeks around ****

          Damn WC are you in my head lol. I need to start FCUK’N my Test scores have gone down since I have been off the D’s (dean/d!ck) list

          • BeautifullyHuman

            bwhahaha…girl sex will do your body good. I remember during my hiatus I got adult acne…wtf? My skin was so messed up I was like “f*ck a Proactive, I need good d*ck to preserve this sexy.” lol

            • miss t-lee

              This happened to me once, too. My skin started whylin’ thee f*ck out. I was like “oh no!!!” back to the vitamin D.

            • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

              DEAD @ proactive’s new slogan.

              • Breezy

                My skin is fine so I can’t co-sign on that one.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          omgggggggg Wild Cougar hahahahahahahahaha That is right!

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        All you horny heffas…So glad I am above and evolved beyond such base desires. *adjusts tinfoil halo and ignores all side eyes*

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I remember that year of celibacy…when I crashed I crashed hard, LOL

    • She Who Reads

      *Looks at calendar with no stars for almost two years*

      If a man even hugs me too tightly, I might explode.

      • mena

        I am done! :-)

        • She Who Reads

          I’m not going to tell you how I went to a party, danced with a dude, and thought I had gotten pregnant because he breathed in my ear… I’m not even going to tell you. LOL.

          • BeautifullyHuman

            LMAO!!

          • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

            Just so you know, i minimized my browser, closed my laptop, put my head down, and LAUGHED!

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        I don’t see how y’all do it. I know at one point I thought about chex all day- from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep. I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t anticipate having that sort of reaction but decided that wasn’t any way to live, LOL

        • JamaicanGirl

          Lol @ “Anyway to live” you said it like it was the plague. Now all i am going to think about all day is “The Act”… We should start a support group, Celibacy Anonymous…

          • BeautifullyHuman

            You really do need a support system during this time because you become liable to get into major f*cksh*t…lol.

            I know during my sex hiatus, I literally started contemplating smanging some of my boys that I had NO attraction to. Your day should not consist of dirty thoughts 24 hours and daydreaming about which of your boys looks like he has good d*ck…lol.

            • Kandi

              YESSSSSSSS to alla dis. Chile one of my guys could of put on a fitted and its like now if he could keep that on and put on some sunglasses… we could do something. I never noticed how good his lips looked (especially while im sitting on em) lol

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Oh hell nawl! *Sends fifty cents a day to help those poor VSS get their needed dose of chex*

          …if you’re gonna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a chaaaaaange! Na, na, na…..

          • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

            *flashes lighter*

            • Zar000

              LOL!

          • Breezy

            WC: Good looking out on the 50 cents….lol

            • BeautifullyHuman

              *Puts 10 dollars in the plate*

              I think we need to pool all the donations to start a vibrator and D batteries fund…lol.

              • Breezy

                *rubs chin* Where is Medium Meechie when ya need him?!?!?

              • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

                Wait, so you gals don’t by the rechargeable kind (both toy and battery)?

                Interesting.

          • Kandi

            Starts humming to cover up the sound of the RABBIT. lol

      • jojee

        dead. lololol

    • That Ugly Kid

      *takes notes on every single discussion going on in this thread*

      - Make sure to flirt with every woman I come across during windy days because there’s a possibility at least one of them will be in heat. I live in the Windy City, this method is perfect for me.

      - Give out frequent hugs because you never know doing so might one woman “explode”.

      - Whispering in a woman’s ear while dancing does things that might lead to things in which she ends up playing with my thing.

      • She Who Reads

        You don’t want all the trouble that comes along with all these heated women chasing behind you…

        • JamaicanGirl

          You better let him know, this is what he dont want…

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          I disagree. If you don’t have a problem being on call only, those are the women you want. LOL

          • BeautifullyHuman

            Word…lol. If you’re okay with being convenient d*ck this is the perfect setup. Give those ladies some of that “Galactus Destroyher”…lol.

            • That Ugly Kid

              I have no problems being on call. None whatsoever. Besides, I want to be a doctor. A neurologist, in fact. So I’d have to get used to being on call. This is the perfect practice.

  • b sweet

    There are very few acceptable arenas where guys feel comfortable showing passion and emotion, and sports is one of the few.
    Being passionate about sports has nothing to do with women, and that’s why it’s so great. The I Used to love H.E.R. type vibe of your story shows nothing other than connecting with something that ignited in you a feeling that you knew nothing else to do with except to cultivate. I’ve said before men flourishing in their element is exhilarating, inspiring, and sexy. So yes, ball scratching sports stat analysis is very sexy because it shows your commitment to something you love. Worm collecting would be too, I guess, if someone talked about it the way you just talked about basketball
    I can dig it.
    I’d love to hear what VSBs are passionate about. PA you can sit this one out, I think we know.

    • Beautifullyhuman

      “if someone talked about it the way you just talked about basketball”

      I just got a chuckle out of Champ’s post. His passion for basketball is cute. Lol. That’s the only way I can describe it, but I can only hope my future child develops a passion for something similar to this early on. It’s admirable to see when a child, and ultimately an adult can foster a deep appreciation and commitment to something that brings them unbridled joy. That’s great.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      Agreed.

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic sith king Jordan

      Hmmm…my passion?
      Sports, particulary bowling. To see if i can do the same thing time after time, the competitive aspect of coming back from behind….definitely bowling. But, petty much all sports for me.

      Also, music, when i DJ and i go for the perfect set, which for me is a gang of songs that Gets humans dancing, with minimal variance on Bpm. I kinda notice these have nothing to do with impressing the opposite gender, but i don’t care to give them that much “power”

  • http://www.meetiquell.com iQuell

    I don’t think everything men do is about sex but at least on some subconscious level it is about attention from those who pay attention to the kind of things a man is doing. Kind of like how you said “the mountain climber felt that the type of women (or men) he wanted sexual access to are into the type of men who would climb a mountain.” I loved bball as a kid too. Didn’t give a damn about what a woman thought. Postering a bunch of guys on the wall is definitely NOT what woman wants to see in a guys room but if she’s a women who’s into the guys on the wall she might be into you and then you’ll see the benefits of doing what you do.

  • The Other Jerome

    Is everything about sex? No. However, a great many things men do are about sex. Especially when it comes to making money.
    Again, not everything of course. For example, i love videogames.
    But…
    I can tell you that every article of clothing that i’ve purchased was picked out with attraction possibilities in mind… and cologne as well.
    And when i hit the gym, i don’t just do it for the hell of it

    • demondog06

      cosignage…

      i don’t see any other reason for going to the gym…..
      and clothes if i could get away with it…id do sweat pants and t-shirts, all day err day.
      use to be passionate about drawing and painting, but without a muse and stuck in the rat race of the working mans world….well……

      • BeautifullyHuman

        “use to be passionate about drawing and painting, but without a muse…”

        This! It’s crazy how much I would love to be a talented man’s muse…lol. I love talent. Are you accepting applications? lol

        • Demondog06

          It,s crazy, a couple of days ago I just happen to come across an old folder full of old stuff I did way back when I was going through my tortured artist stage in life….It’s been years since I picked up brush, or charcoal pencil . I tried to do a doodle at work…and nothing! I felt nothing, couldn’t even draw a stick figure. Everything I was passionate about and held dear, basketball, my art, reading about and wanting to save the world especially my people….all gone.
          I’m so dead inside…………………………………..

      • http://missrosen.worpress.com esa

        the greatest feelinn i have ever felt for a man was he who has been my muse, and i his. it’s the space where everything comes together :: spiritual, emotional, and intellectual .. tho we never took it to the full physical space and in some way i wonder if that is even possible because art is sublimation .. mmm and since he been gone i been feelinn for that energy again but you knoww it is more rare than i could have eva imagined ..

        • Demondog06

          Rare indeed….
          Like chasing the dragon……

  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

    I don’t think so. At least I hope not; everything being about sex seems lacking and fleeting. Don’t get me wrong, sex with the right person is super dope, but if that was all there is? Not worth it. But then again, I’m a woman, and we’re raised more with a focus on relationships > sex.

    Can sex get us closer to relationships? Sure, just like a love of basketball could make a person more well-liked, leading to being well-liked by women thus having sexual access…just in reverse.

    I’m rambling. It’s late. I think my point’s in there though…

  • That Ugly Kid

    Not everything. But we do base a lot of our decisions around s*x or the IDEA of s*x. Men are always claiming to be the more “logical” gender. But the idea of it, makes us do alot of illogical sh!t. Have you ever drove an hour across town, in the evening, to go visit a female who wanted to hang out because you MIGHT end up smanging her? Not very logical. But we do it anyway.

    Conversely, some things are done legitimately, but seen as you trying to obtain the panties. Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it) for me playing videogames and reading comics is not one of them. They’re not seen as “cool”. However, I’m the type of guy who believes in giving a woman her props. If she’s pretty, has a beautiful smile/eyes, I stop her and let her know. Then I walk away and go on about my business. I’m not trying to hit on her, I don’t have ulterior motives, I just don’t see a problem with giving out a compliment.

    Though, now I kinda want to make a list of the sh!t men do in the Pursuit of Panties.

    • Aaron

      Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it) for me playing videogames and reading comics is not one of them. They’re not seen as “cool”. However, I’m the type of guy who believes in giving a woman her props. If she’s pretty, has a beautiful smile/eyes, I stop her and let her know.

      Applaud that man.

      I’ve been trying to say this for years. Some things we just do to get away from y’all. We love you, but sometimes a brother needs a break, and some things, y’all just don’t seem to get. So we do those things.

      But yes, there is always a subconscious consideration of “will this get me laid”, which is why most of us keep our comic collections at the house where you can’t see.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        I want to get my nerd weight up so I want to see your comic book collection. Just don’t tell me how much you spent on it.

      • The Other Jerome

        Hell i keep my collection right in the open…….In my bedroom lol. The living room table has high brow books :-)

        • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

          The high brow books don’t mean a damn! lol. I have a friend who puts his copy of “Roots” and some Noam Chomsky out in the open but has read one word in about never. I’d be impressed by the comic book collection depending on what was in it and as long as you aren’t the type to make every time I come over comic book time.

          • Aaron

            All Marvel, all the time. Spider-Man, X-Men, The Avengers.

            • demondog06

              all marvel and image spawn was that dude!

            • That Ugly Kid

              Marvel. All day.

              Welcome to the club, man. We are closer than blood now.

      • http://kareemking.com Kareem

        What? Y’all never tried to impress women by telling them how much your comic book collection is worth? That’s where my conversation leads eventually when I’m tricked to talking comic books with the ladies. On another note, I find it annoying that some people to pretend that they are in to what you are into. They don’t have to like what I like, and I’m cool with that.

    • nillalatte

      “me playing videogames”

      So, I guess you never heard of a ‘joystick?’ A man must have invented that ya know!

    • nillalatte

      “Have you ever drove an hour across town, in the evening, to go visit a female who wanted to hang out because you MIGHT end up smanging her?”

      In the evening? lol… back in the day I was seeing this dude and he called me at like 2 or 3am and asked me to come over to his house because he was lonely. Yeah, right, whatever. I got up still in my night gown (no pannies mind you), put on a robe and house shoes, and drove across town. Yeah, I knew what was going down.. so to speak…lol. I didn’t even think about what the fcuk I was gonna wear come morning until morning got there, then I realized I didn’t have any clothes! That’s when he donated to cover yo’ girls arse fund. ;) We all do crazy things from time to time.

      • That Ugly Kid

        “In the evening? ”

        Yea, I’m not talking about “Booty Call Hours” type evening, I’m just talking about 6-10 PM type evenings. That time of day when people just chill.

        • nillalatte

          Oh, we chilled aight… ;) I really didn’t label it as a booty call because see I subscribe to ‘you gettin just as much as you givin’, plus he was my man at the time. We just kept it freaky fresh. lol…

          • That Ugly Kid

            I get what you’re saying. But I’m just talking about casual eveings when a guy went above and beyond for the possibilty of reaching the promised land.

            • nillalatte

              I get you too. Lighten up TUK. I’m playing wit cha.

              • That Ugly Kid

                That’s your first mistake. You don’t play around with a man and his nani. You just don’t. Civilizations will crumble, Nilla! People will die!!!

                • Iceprincess

                  “I stop her and let her know. Then i walk away and go on about my business.” *a magnum condom falls out of TUK’s pocket as he leaves* “Um, sir, you dropped this. “side eye* :-)

                  • That Ugly Kid

                    Lol, and then it begins…you’re learning…

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        LMAO That story just kilt me Nilla. I’ve literally gotten on a train traveled a hour to see dude then turned right around and a hour back, after umm 3 hours together just so I wouldn’t be late to an appointment I had in my town. LMAO I wore clothes though LMAO

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

    No. Everything with men isn’t really about sex. Sometimes it’s about food too.

    • nillalatte

      ***claps wildly for TAC***

    • LeonieUK

      I know we have covered to death the importance of cooking, but a smile over a sandwich…Plus why are more men sending me gifs of food,like Food Network really is mens porn site now?

    • Breezy

      Yes, its really mostly about that big piece of chicken.

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        DEAD.

      • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        Which is hilarious since that big piece of chicken is a sexual part. Awwww, it’s the circle of life.

        • naturalista88

          *Holds up piece of chicken as everyone bows down*.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      LOL!

    • Aaron

      THIS.

    • demondog06

      hell i may even bypass a chick with sex-shall potential, for one with a fridge full of food and some cookies bakin in the oven

  • nillalatte

    “For men, is everything always really just about sex?”

    Hell yes. Yeah, I said it. I know it. Just ’cause you don’t want to admit it doesn’t mean it ain’t true. Think about it? Dribbling is like foreplay. Making a hoop is ‘getting it in.’ Rebound is coming back from a bad relationship. Shall I go on? :P

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

      You forgot “Taking it to the hole” and “Laying it up”. Just nasty.

      • nillalatte

        lmao… exactly! See, sports is just another ‘stand-in’ for sex. Who they think they kidding?

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

          Not us, Clam. Not us.

          First bases (baseball); sweet spots (golf) backfields and end zones (football); it’s just sex with none of the cuddling but all of the sweaty ass smacking.

          • nillalatte

            CLAM!!! rotflmao… I can’t even remember what that means anymore… oh, I have to breathe! You going way back to some foolishness fa real!

            “it’s just sex with none of the cuddling but all of the sweaty ass smacking.”
            Ass smacking! lmao!!! Oh, stop, my sides are killing me!!! And, you see how they like that on and off the field as they practice it constantly.

            • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

              I be seeing. Shole do. *church hum*

              And Clam is from that post many moons ago about what our superhero personas would be. I be remembering too. *hums louder*

              • nillalatte

                Found it!!! “My name would be NillaNoWangWacker aka CutsLikeAMofo (CLAM)!” lmao… girl that was over a year ago. Damn, I been here too long. :) I did take a short break doe when I was preoccupied with the ‘playoffs.’

      • Justmetheguy

        Bazinga! Good one TAC lol

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        well played.
        *slow clap*

    • That Ugly Kid

      *breaks out Walkie Talkie and speaks calmly*

      Men we have a Code Uterus. I repeat, we have a Code Uterus. A woman has decoded The Matrix. She must be apprehended and silenced at once. Operation Cameltoe is now in effect.

      Agent Dangle Parts over and out.

      • naturalista88

        TUK, take your Dream Lites pillow & go to bed this instant *points to door*.

        • That Ugly Kid

          The f*ck is a Dream Lites pillow? Is that that new glowy sh!t the Kid sees advertised on TV?

          • naturalista88

            Here, to help “jog” your memory ——-> http://www.dreamlites.com/Default.asp?bhcp=1 I’m sure you have the lady bug one, don’t front for the people.

            • LeonieUK

              Not buying for play neices and nephews at Xmas, not buying I swear * see’s international delivery costs*

              • Sigma_Since 93

                Don’t get me stated on the Foregin Transaction Fees to ship my shirts to the US!

            • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

              That sh*t cray. Too bad all the kids I know would destroy it trying to figure out how it worked. *not contemplating one for myself*

    • AfroPetite

      +3000 for you ma’am

      • nillalatte

        Thank you. Thank you very much. :D

    • LeonieUK

      ‘a Clean shot’ that right there.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      The amount of times the commentators talk about “penetration” in basketball >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • IckeyShufflin

    “But, I do think that the status given to guys who are good at it was on my mind on some subconscious level. I played it, read about it, watched it, talked about it, and thought about it because I loved it, but part of the reason why I loved it was because some part of me knew that loving it would reap benefits.”

    I think that whatever it is that fuels a man’s passion for “activity X” (i.e. basketball, worms, mountain climbing, video games, etc…) comes from the same place as his constant desire to feed his sexual appetite.

    Man, by nature, wants to conquer. We want to master. And with mastery comes power – the ultimate goal. For example, a man who is into mountains wants to know everything about them. He wants to climb the highest peak. Essentially, he wants to conquer it and exert his power over it.

    Why are men so into sports? It’s because of the element of competition. Sports gives us the perfect venue to show our mastery and power over other men. The winners and champions reap the benefit of being hailed as heroes because they have proven themselves to be the most powerful in their arena.

    Why are men so into sex? It’s because of the element of competition. Sex allows us to exert our power and dominance over our woman’s competing sexuality. To make her say, “Big Daddy, you’re the best (or “Big Daddy, you conquered me”…you get the idea)” is the equivalent of winning the NBA Finals, Superbowl, Stanley Cup, Daytona500, and The Masters. Hence the big grin on our face afterwards when we hear it (I know that I’m not the only one).

    Of course it feels great too…and relieves a lot of tension (as women can attest to). But our fascination with sex ultimately lies in our innate, subconscious desire to conquer.

    • That Ugly Kid

      You know what? This is very well thought out and I see the logic in it. You get a very rare, but legendary, Co-Sign from the Tukmeister himself. Cherish it. Because my co-sign is more valuable than a Doctorates Degree. At your next interview with NASA, don’t say anything. Just say, “TUK Co-signed me” and you’ll get the job on the spot.

      “Hence the big grin on our face afterwards when we hear it (I know that I’m not the only one).”

      Eh, after hearing it for the 500th time it loses its luster. Not saying it isn’t great to hear, but it just lacks the same Im-The-Sh!tness you felt the very first time you heard it. What I really want, is to have sex with a latina/asian/indian/etc basically any woman who speaks a foreign language. I can only imagine what it must feel like to make her uncontrollably start muttering sexual encouragement in her native tongue. I must have that power.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        No one man should have all that power. Good think you don’t *ahem* Tuckmeister.

        • That Ugly Kid

          Why not? I’d do right be you! As Abraham Lincoln once said:

          “Any man can handle adversity. But if you want to know a man’s true character, give him power.”

          So gimme a chance! Gimme ALL that power!

      • IckeyShufflin

        Thank you, kind sir. *adding Tukmeister co-sign to resume*

      • nillalatte

        “I can only imagine what it must feel like to make her uncontrollably start muttering sexual encouragement in her native tongue.”

        yella empshi TUK kabir… abi enta… minfadluk habbibi.. na’am, na’am, NA’AM!!!…ooooo….. lmao… or someone that can at least speak to you in a different language. ;)

        • That Ugly Kid

          Annnnd now I’m wiping off my keyboard, my screen, AND my wall. Now, I’m not gonna be offended when I type this sh!t into the Google Translator, am I? Like, you didn’t just tell me I f*ck giraffes or some weird sh!t like that, right? Because I don’t know if I could handle that, Nilla. I’m not sure I’d want to live anymore…

          • b sweet

            ohhh, tu as une bite grand…..je mouille.. ah mon dieu, mon dieu c’est ci bon… je jouis, je jouis…

            • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

              un peu de francais ici?? ;)

              • b sweet

                un peu KB. un peu. LOL.

        • Princessa

          nillalatte…. you speak Arabic….lmao….. so do I …. what you said was hilarious…. if you had said ‘hil ani’ then he should get upset….TFF

          • nillalatte

            @ Princessa… I used to be better at my Arabic and I am no where near as fluent as I would like to be. It took me a minute to compose that sentence as it’s been a while since I’ve used it. My ex is Arab.

        • mena

          :-) :-)

        • Sigma_Since 93

          I feel so left out : (

          • mena

            Hujambo.

            There you go.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              What language is this? I need a translator STAT!

              • mena

                Swahili. It means hello.

        • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

          I understood you, Nilla. You naughty girl!

          • nillalatte

            *blushes* lol… gotta give a man what he wants, right?! ;)

    • http://www.twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      “Man, by nature, wants to conquer. We want to master. And with mastery comes power – the ultimate goal.”

      Hmmm, interesting.

    • http://www.thoughtsunsilenced.wordpress.com mfundo

      In short, sex is a sport to us guys… Hmm, y’know, I don’t disagree with that.

      • IckeyShufflin

        Exactly. We approach it the same way. We practice to get better. We keep stats (aka “notches on the bedpost”) to track progress. We salute those who prove to be the best…the players.

        If I’ve bagged five “7′s”, two “6′s”, and an “8″ in 2012 (hypothetically speaking, of course), I have a score of 55. If my homeboy bagged seven “8′s”, then he has a score of 56. He’s winning…and I need to get my numbers up. That’s why fugly chicks have a better chance of getting bagged around Christmas/New Years Eve. Dudes are trying to boost their scores before the EOY. As with everything in life, it’s a numbers game.

    • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      I guess I shouldn’t be amazed that men really believe they are conquering or dominating the woman when they have chex. I guess that’s why its so easy to manipulate a man by calling him big daddy and telling him he’s the best.

      Peens are pretty much interchangeable, so its unlikely that a particular one will truly dominate a woman. It’s up to her if she wants to entertain the fantastically notion that only his will do. Cuz we all know, as soon as we get tired of his sh*t, the fog rolls away and we realize his peen is just an organ dangling from his body. But allowing men keep believing they dominate us with the peen allows for so many privileges and liberties and possibilities.

      • IckeyShufflin

        @Wild Cougar

        It’s all good. You ladies have your games. We have ours. It’s alllllllll good. :)

        • Justmetheguy

          Well played Ickey…well played