wild cherry flags

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whenever we bring up a topic dealing with red flags, deal-breakers, and other undesirable relationship qualities, the utter disdain for clinginess is repeatedly brought up…easily the muse for at least 300 comments. seemingly on par with serial infidelity, anti-intellectuallism, and crackheadedness, the general public sentiment behind the idea of “a clingy person” apparently ranks somewhere between “star jones” and “david koresh” with pretty much every vsb regular. well, every vsb regular…except me.

now obviously, being with a clingon wouldn’t be my optimum choice. although i’m not a space nazi, i do appreciate some alone time for writing, metacognition, “pastor racing“, kool-aid procuring, and other leisurely independant activities. but, if i were forced to choose between polar opposites “clingy” and “cold“, “cold” would get dropped quicker than siohvaughn wade. personally, i’d much rather be bombarded with attention than be in a romantic relationship devoid of it.

again, i’m not saying that it can definitely be annoying, but i can live with it. there are worse qualities a person can have (ie: “thimbleheadedness” and “being puerto rican”).

the clingy conundrum has made me think of other personal attributes and behaviors that are common red flags and/or deal-breakers for many people…but really don’t bother me much at all. deal-breakers for most everyone else, but “ehhh…its cool. its no big deal” for me.

for the sake of the entry, and in honor of my favorite flavor of kool-aid (which noone else seems to like), lets call these wild cherry flags

nassatalls

although i’ll forever remain excitedly intrigued by the presence of a philly with a exquisite booty depth and a perfect ass-to-waist ratio, its not a prerequisite. in fact, my ex-fiancee was about nassatall as one can get. i’d even joke with her that she had an “extended back”.

again, though. let me make this very clear. i’m NOT saying that i’m not an assfan, lol. sh*t, if i could, i’d sleep on satin bed pillows in the mold of bria myles’s hindparts. i’m just saying that i could live happily without it.

a political conservative

…as long as she votes for obama nov. 4th, i could care less how she feels the other 364 days of the year, lol

a virgin

of course, if women were on sale at giant eagle, i wouldnt intentionally go shopping in the virgin aisle…but if one happened to fall into my shopping cart, i wouldn’t be headed back there a day later, reciept in hand, screaming at the store manager for selling me defective goods.  i’d definitely wait at least a week before doing that.

thats its for me right now.

friends, fans, serial fellators, funders, and followers of vsb.com, what are some of your wild cherry flags?

—the champ

***btw, just in case anyone was taking any bets, the over/under for the number of reading challenged people who will completely ignore the topic today and just list their own personal red flags is 19***

540 thoughts on “wild cherry flags”

  1. Oh, well, hello Luvvie,

    That’s right, I’ve been here waiting for you. Wow, I can hear your pulse racing from across the room. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of space here. It’s bed time, why don’t you just relax, slip into something comfortable, and post yourself right up under me. Yeah, just like that. . .

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    • bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaa k, this just made my night perfect. i can now go drink in peace.

      Reply ↓

    • Kamakula, I’m flattered that you were waiting for me. Did you bring me something? I know your nights ain’t right without me on top or below you. Your week must have been lonely with me missing. All is well now. I am here.

      But Monday, we BEGIN again! I demand satisfaction, and challenge you to a DUEL (of 1st post).

      NOW, to bed I go.

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    • I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production.

      I finally got it

      I guess this is what happens when I don’t lick the Champs toast before I get here.

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      • I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production.

        yeah…it did seem like some of the lines that could be in “zack and miri…”

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      • “I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production. ”

        I’m still not convinced. I wonder if they need a producer?

        Reply ↓

        • Well, the first raw video has already been shot and the talent being who it is, there is PLENTY of raw footage from almost every angle you can imagine, and a few you probably cannot.

          So, if you want to be involved on the cutting room floor, let me know.

          Reply ↓

          • Kama, I thought we weren’t gonna tell folks yet. We were sposed to announce the Luvvie-Kamakula tape in an extreme media blitz.

            And a soundtrack with Diddy (can’t stop, won’t stop), T-pain, and Rihanna. Yes, we got soundtrack.

            P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.

            Reply ↓

            • P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.

              bom chicka wah wah is sooooooooo 90′s p*rn. nowadays the soundtrack is the male “stars” rapping

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  2. Champ, you are a bitter enabler! How many chances are you gonna give VSBers to list the INFINITE, tome-length list of “flags? Mofos gon come up here talking nonsense like:

    “You know what I hate? Them people that have the AUDACITY to have asthma and breath. Who they think they is? Shoot, all sick and stuff. The NERVE!”

    and

    “I can’t STAND mofos who like Thai food. I mean, why can’t they just be satisfied with a Big Mac? International food lovers are a no-no.”

    Champ, you’ve opened floodgates that will require an ark from Noah to survive. This will be GREAT for me b/c there will be no shortage of things to snark at.

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  3. I happen to LOVE wild cherry Kool-Aid. As a matter of fact, all Kool-Aid is heavenly w/lemon juice added.

    I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.

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  4. who doesn’t like wild cherry kool-aid, that’s like the first flavor ever made, ain’t it? wild cherry and blue houdini were my favorites as a growing girl in mccandless twp.
    anyway, i have a few wild cherry flags:
    1. height deficiency- i’m a shorty, so technically i don’t ‘need’ all that height.
    2. crooked teeth- as long as he brushes and goes to the dentist.
    3. no college degree (as long as he reads and enjoys learning new things)
    4. corny humor/behavior…i can be corny too so that could work. as long as he doesn’t call me schmoopie or s3xual chocolate in public, we’re cool.
    5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*

    that’s all i have for now…back to work.

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  5. my wild cherry flags include:

    1. music taste. i recognise that not everybody gets down with hip hop/soul/the occasional amazing electronica dj like i do. my last/current lover’n'friend listens almost exclusively to headbanging metal. which is cool, it’s kinda hot to have $ex to…. i heard.

    2. occasional ashiness. now if a fool stays on that ashy larry tip, he’ll barely make it to a handshake, let alone a relationship. but i understand – maybe you ran out of jergens due to pastor racing. maybe the coldness in the d is messing with your skin situation. it’s aii, just let me teach you the wonders of – um – body oil.

    3. non-appreciation of some aspects of african cuisine i.e. goat meat, guinea fowl, and chilli (to a certain extent). i understand not everyone likes the sensation of having their tongue on fire. sadly, it also means you might get to miss out on the best food of all time prepared by yours truly.

    i’ll get back at this later.

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    • lmao @ “occasional ashiness”. I keep some lotion in my purse and don’t mind sharing cuz I tend to be a bit ashy myself. Especially my hands, which I wash at least 25 times a day!

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      • Too funny! I have to throw lotion on my man before he leaves the house, else he’ll do the Ashy Larry all day long. I think somewhere in his psyche he equates ashiness with manliness….fool. Gotta love him, though.

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        • ugh…i had an ex like this regarding lip gloss (chapstick for the fellas). d@mn it stop licking your lips and making it worse and take this f^cking chapstick, or hey baby let me give you a kiss…

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    • music taste, that’s a good one puff. i went out with a guy who liked that customer song by raheem devaughn and gurrrrrrl…i cracked the fcuk up, (sorry folks, but with a line like you can have me supersized with some lovin’ on the side is begging for laugh out loud pointing and gasping.) but his music taste, was not a deal breaker. but panama? he might cut a ninja for playing that mess! ain’t that right, brotha arsonist?

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      • sorry folks, but with a line like you can have me supersized with some lovin’ on the side is begging for laugh out loud pointing and gasping.)

        yeah that shyt was ridiculous… and so is s.e.x message.. WTF?

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        • I’m really gonna need ya’ll to lay off the homie Raheem. Please and thank you.

          Although, “Customer” was a song I really could’ve done without.

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          • sorry PBG but i don’t actually understand Raheem’s appeal. his albums are largely ungood. he has a good voice but whoopty damn do. “woman” was WAAAAAY overrated. that song got so many “positive music” points that folks didn’t take the time to realize that there wasnt really anything special about that song. he just said “i appreciate women” and chicks swooned.

            sad when that’s all it takes. thats like people thinking alicia keys is the most talented chick out there…she gets lightskint AND positive-by-not-being-negative points.

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      • amazingly, i didn’t wretch at that song. you see, despite my music snobbery, i also have a deep appreciation for ignorantly entertaining music. in fact, i’ve come to appreciate nearly all music. lol…i just know the difference between GOOD music and music i can APPRECIATE.

        raheem devaughn’s “customer” and “s.e.x. message”…i can appreciate them, but they are not good.

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    • a “friend” has joked that in the mornings, the only parts i lotion are the visible ones (hands, arm, neck). she said i was subliminally ashy. although “subliminal” doesnt really work there, it still was funny

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    • I was gonna put ashy on my wild cherry kool-aid list!! I only care about the parts that are showing…
      Other ‘wild cherries’ include
      1.kids w/ more than one BM- depending on how it’s handled and if they’re all civil it can be OK
      2.Crappy car-As long as you aren’t asking me for rides…..When you wnat to front-rent one.
      3. Going to the ti**y bar- Go on and go! Ain’t taking nothing away from me cuz my pole skillz are quite shaky. lol
      Will be back…

      Reply ↓

  6. LOL at Giant Eagle. Brings me back to ’02…but thats another story.

    So yea, wild cherry flags:

    * Guys under 6 ft. I mean, I wear heels alot when I go out (usually around 4-5 inches), so I like a man to still be taller than me, and not the other way around). However, it’s not totally a dealbreaker since I’ve dated guys under 5′ 10″ before…

    *Crooked Teeth…they don’t have to be perfect, but if you’re teeth look worse than Austin Powers from the first movie (i.e. yellow, and looking, as my brother would say, like they’re throwing up gang signs), then its a no-go. Seriously, I had braces, you can get em too…

    *Living at your parents house. It is not fun trying to find time to get freaky things going on when we both live with parents (I had an apartment…I now live with mom…long story)…but its not impossible.

    *Crap rap listener. Like if Gucci Man and Jim Jones are your favorite rappers, then chances are, I will NOT be vibing with you at all on your music choices (or want you to make me any cd’s for the car). However, I can’t say its a total dealbreaker since I dated a guy like this.

    *Athlete. I used to date them, because I used to be an athlete, and I’m obsessed with the gym (I hate lazy guys…I enjoy having workout buddies as well). I now realize I hate their hoe-dom and their arrogance. But if you can hide the fact that you are an athlete from me (don’t as me how, but some people have managed to do so), then so be it. Just expect me to find out through 411 digging and kick your @ss after the fact.

    Um, I don’t think I have any more. My standards are rising due to the sheer volume of crap I seem to gravitate to/attract. But that’s another story.

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    • I am SO with you on the first three points.

      Those “tropical punch” flags (yes..it is my fave) are total deal breakers for me..
      along with:

      - a”sensitive” man,
      - an overly hood or would never be caught in a hood man..
      (he has to have a good balance between advanced intelligence and street knowledge)
      -a man who doesnt appreciate my fondness for all Bay Area sports teams..
      -a man with excessive facial hair..lol i know im weird..i cant stand it..

      i have more but its like 1am and i need sleep..

      Reply ↓

      • I am SO with you on the first three points.

        Those “tropical punch” flags (yes..it is my fave) are total deal breakers for me..
        along with:

        - a”sensitive” man,
        - an overly hood or would never be caught in a hood man..
        (he has to have a good balance between advanced intelligence and street knowledge)
        -a man who doesnt appreciate my fondness for all Bay Area sports teams..
        -a man with excessive facial hair..lol i know im weird..i cant stand it..

        ***number 2***

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      • Love it! And yes, I realize that I own over 50 pairs of shoes.

        But don’t get me wrong…I’m already 5′ 5″ (and 1/2)…so in heels at 5′ 10″ I’m taller than a few of the guys I’ve been out with recently.

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        • Same here. I’m a wee bit taller than 5’5″ but because of my shoes I’m pushing 5’9, 5’10″, seeing eye to eye with average height dudes.

          Over 50 pair? Welcome to the ShoeWhore club of which I am president and Luvvie VP.

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        • I’m already 5’10″ without shoes. I try to stick to normal height heels 2 to 3 inches and I start to push 6’0″ to 6’1″. Throughout high school and undegrad, I loved me some short guys; it was no guys over 5’8″ for me because I wasn’t confident in my tallness. I convinced myself that if I wanted my kids’ heights to even out so I should marry a short guy. Now, I mostly pull guys around 6’3″ to 6’5″. During college after so many people told me I should model; I grew much more confident with my height. Plus, the protected feeling I get from a guy bigger than me when he holds me is amazingly comforting.

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        • I’m already 5’10″ without shoes. I try to stick to normal height heels 2 to 3 inches and I start to push 6’0″ to 6’1″. Throughout high school and undergrad, I loved me some short guys; it was no guys over 5’8″ for me because I wasn’t confident in my tallness. I convinced myself that if I wanted my kids’ heights to even out so I should marry a short guy. Now, I mostly pull guys around 6’3″ to 6’5″. During college after so many people told me I should model; I grew much more confident with my height. Plus, the protected feeling I get from a guy bigger than me when he holds me is amazingly comforting.

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    • “*Living at your parents house. It is not fun trying to find time to get freaky things going on when we both live with parents (I had an apartment…I now live with mom…long story)…but its not impossible.”

      yeah…this is a wild cherry flag for me as well

      Reply ↓

  7. 1. Lack of swagger
    2. Lack of height
    3. “Huskiness”
    4. Religious conflict
    5. Social retardation
    6. Excessive Mama love

    Reply ↓

    • “1. Lack of swagger
      2. Lack of height
      3. “Huskiness”
      4. Religious conflict
      5. Social retardation
      6. Excessive Mama love”

      ***number 3***

      Reply ↓

      • actually, are we sure here that this is #3? is it possible that she just doesn’t mind dating socially retarded men??

        or more accurately, short, insecure, tubby, agnostic atheists who dont like people and were breast fed until they were 15?

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        • Uh…I don’t mind dating men with these features even though most people view them as immediate red flags. Every man I have dated seriously in my adult life has been mildly socially retarded (all two of them). I could not care less about swagger or height. I have found that religion says very little about a man (with the exception of atheists–I CANNOT DO ATHEISTS), and I have seen that men who love their mamas to death will also love their their wives to death.

          ADJUST YOUR COUNT, YOU SHALLOW @$$ N!99AS.

          P.S. Panama – they can have one or two of these–not all. NOT ALL.

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  8. Champ, its good to know that booty isn’t a die-hard requirement for you. I feel much better about continuing to let you fall in love with me one hug at a time.

    My WCF’s arrrre:

    1. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.

    2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game in peace for a few hours while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.

    3. Talking. By that I mean, some people are really uncomfortable when they’re with their SO and there’s not constant conversation. I’m a huge fan of comfortable silence. I like to just BE sometimes. Hell, sometimes I want to be in your presence, but I’d prefer it if you said nothing. All that constant talkage is for the birds.

    I’ll be back in the mawnin with more.

    Reply ↓

    • . Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.

      2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game for a while in peace while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.

      LOL yeah I can agree with these too

      Reply ↓

    • “He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.”

      This is key. Although I’m not the video game freak, I got other hobbies and shyt that doesn’t concern my lady and she should have the same.

      “All that constant talkage is for the birds.”

      I’m with you on this also. I’m a fan of communication, but every movie you see at an AMC theatre has the same underlined theme that “Silence Is Golden”. Sometimes people just need to be the f*ck quiet.

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      • “Sometimes people just need to be the f*ck quiet.”

        See, that’s what I’m sayin’!

        But for some reason, folks tend to get nervous when I’m too quiet for too long.

        Big Mama would be like “Ya’ll go see what that baby is back there doin’! She’s too quiet!” I’d just be on the porch reading “Good Housekeeping”.

        Reply ↓

          • Is there a VSB doctor around?

            I think I finally want to get this Crazy Magnet removed from my a$$. When it starts working over the IntraWebs, there is definitely cause for concern.

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            • dON’T B LIKE THAT. i GOT SOME BOMB CHICKEN WINGS OVER HERE PACKED UP 4 A PICNIC. tHEY SMELL SO GOOD THEY COULD MAKE THEM MARSHMELLOWS GIVE UP THE PARTY HAT.

              Reply ↓

              • You made no mention of mumbo sauce in your picnic basket. That negates the offer of the wangs. Sorry, babe. A girl has her standards. ;)

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  9. Dudes who love to argue moot shyt. I hate people who like to argue, and the fact that I’ve attracted more than one person like this concerns me.

    People who don’t know their history or like to read. If you went to public school, you will know these two are not unrelated. Please don’t respond and say “I don’t know much about the Civil Rights movement so I can’t say”. This type of ignorance leads to dumb arse statements like the one made by Solja Boi (why’d you) Tell Em.

    These are the same people who start a sentence with “No offense but…”

    Rude people. I can’t stand people who are only nice to people in their inner circle, and are stone faced and ready for war with everyone else. Sit the f*ck down and drink some green tea.

    People who lack basic home training. Just today as I was about to walk into a building I saw a young guy stride by an elderly woman as they were about to reach the door. I really did make an arse out of u and me cause I assumed he would open the door. Why did that door shut as the women reached it? Right in her face. He was not even on the elevator as she struggled to open the door.

    That’s all I can think of for now. I think this is a nice list. Be nice, enjoy learning, be civilized, don’t argue, and loathe Solja Boi. It’s like the five commandments and shyt.

    ps) The Coalition For The Treatment Of Mythical Creatures commends you for abstaining from the ill mention of black squirrels and midgets in your latest posts. Thank you kindly.

    Reply ↓

    • Nah, Champ is asking what are other people’s non-negotiables/deal breakers that DON’T bother you, lol.

      You all here listing things that make you tell em why you mad son.

      What is it that you don’t mind that others do?

      Reply ↓

    • Dudes who love to argue moot shyt. I hate people who like to argue, and the fact that I’ve attracted more than one person like this concerns me.

      People who don’t know their history or like to read. If you went to public school, you will know these two are not unrelated. Please don’t respond and say “I don’t know much about the Civil Rights movement so I can’t say”. This type of ignorance leads to dumb arse statements like the one made by Solja Boi (why’d you) Tell Em.

      These are the same people who start a sentence with “No offense but…”

      Rude people. I can’t stand people who are only nice to people in their inner circle, and are stone faced and ready for war with everyone else. Sit the f*ck down and drink some green tea.

      People who lack basic home training. Just today as I was about to walk into a building I saw a young guy stride by an elderly woman as they were about to reach the door. I really did make an arse out of u and me cause I assumed he would open the door. Why did that door shut as the women reached it? Right in her face. He was not even on the elevator as she struggled to open the door.

      That’s all I can think of for now. I think this is a nice list. Be nice, enjoy learning, be civilized, don’t argue, and loathe Solja Boi. It’s like the five commandments and shyt.

      ps) The Coalition For The Treatment Of Mythical Creatures commends you for abstaining from the ill mention of black squirrels and midgets in your latest posts. Thank you kindly

      ***number 4***

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  10. wild cherry:

    1. i generally like a little edge but i could get down with a straight laced college professsor, since i am a little extra that prolly would be an interesting match.

    2. white guys. my preference is a brotha but …hey

    3. men who are from “obscure” parts of the country. I suppose I could date a man from IA, particularly if he had a potato hookup…for the au gratin.

    3b. a man who “thinks” he can cook. I really don’t like for men to “mess” around in my kitchen. But if he claims he can cook. We would have to have a cook off where friends and family would have to vote, and if we tied or he won (that shyt would be rigged some kinda way) however if it was a fair win, only then would be be allowed to burn with me.

    thats all i got right now. im sure ill have more later in the morning.

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  11. sooo.. listing things that might be deal breakers to others but dont really bother me

    Being a thug…I dont mind really, I am a tough chick. I get loud, and regardless of how uncouth.. Yeah I will still fight a biatch, so I need a dude thats down for the clown sometimes…..My husband is a gangster nerd.. smart, intelligent, hard working but PLease believe me when I say, he AINT going.. and that shyt is s.e.xy

    I have also messed witih a few nerds…like for real, socially inept, computer, math geniuses…they are often times very sweet and you learn a lot from them……

    color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time

    if he doesnt go downtown. I mean when it was new it was the hottest shyt going but after awhile…………….I know some think its blasphemy but the guy before my husband didnt and he was awesome in bed and it didnt really matter.. And now that I can get it when I want it.. Its a sometimes not all the time thing….I mean I am all for the warm up but Dyck is the headliner for me…..

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    • if he doesnt go downtown. I mean when it was new it was the hottest shyt going but after awhile…………….I know some think its blasphemy but the guy before my husband didnt and he was awesome in bed and it didnt really matter.. And now that I can get it when I want it.. Its a sometimes not all the time thing….I mean I am all for the warm up but Dyck is the headliner for me…..

      to pull a CBG and reply to my post for clarification..

      Now I do like it.. a lot.. but I dont think it would be a deal breaker for me.. .

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    • color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time

      i have to wonder how many women actually wouldn’t date a mixed dude?

      i met this chick once who, before finding out that i was mixed, told me that all mixed kids have identity issues and don’t know they are, etc…of course, once she found out my mama was white it more or less shut her entire argument down, but still, i’m guessing there are women (and men for that matter) out there who wouldn’t…

      Reply ↓

    • “color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time”

      This has never been a deal breaker for me. I’ve dated two white guys, a Rican and a cat from Ecuador. While I hands down prefer the brothers I am open to talking to whomever is cute and witty.

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  12. Wild cherry flags…Let’s see:

    1) non college educated-while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit. now, i DON’T need you to be sitting your arse around, working some uninspired 9-5 and making min wage trying to take me out to some damn ryan’s like that’s okay, BUT i’m not just gonna judge you because you didn’t go to college. (sidenote: as a freshman in college, i remember being sooo impressed when my new–non-college–boyfriend was reading the same ish i had been assigned, just because he wanted to. mmm.)

    2) aspiring singer (NOT RAPPER! hell naw.)–let me explain. as an actress (who is giving up on the dream day by long tired day. haha.), i respect someone who isn’t afraid to hold onto their dream and work at it, as an adult. now, i DON’T need you to be 37 with no resume or training or ‘get up and go,’ talking about how you will “one day” be on oprah and and be the new tyrese and all of that. and…i don’t mean to stereotype, but this is why i make the exclusion for rappers. they get a big ol’ red flag.

    umm………what else……

    3) men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross, men (esp. southern men) usually react very well to a playful, “please don’t swear like that around me. lol.” and i like that reaction….

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    • “while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit.”

      Co-sign.

      “men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross….”

      Men who dont curse freak me out, lol. Is that wrong?

      Reply ↓

      • 1) non college educated-while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit.

        this used to be a red flag that became a wild cherry flag that became a non-flag… hence i am now in wedded bliss… as 8th would say

        the flip is that he is still amazingly intelligent, reads often, researches interesting topics ‘just for fun’, is very open to new experiences and is completely comfortable hanging with me and my fellow ‘alphabet soup*’ friends or the dudes from around the way…

        *this is the endearing term i have for people with credentials and letters behind their name… looks like you spilled a can of alphabet soup on your business card.

        Reply ↓

      • “Men who dont curse freak me out, lol. Is that wrong?”

        No, that is just you.

        Sorry, I don’t curse. I will always keep my distance so you can remain in your happy place………

        Reply ↓

      • i ONCE HEARD FROM A CHICK THAT SAID IT WAS HER DEAL BREAKER IF A CAT WOULD CURSE AROUND HER. sHE WAS ALL, ‘IF HE’LL CURSE AROUND YOU, HE WILL CURSE YOU.’ **SHRUGGING SHOLDERS**

        Reply ↓

    • . Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.

      2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game for a while in peace while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.

      yeah I love profanity and slang.. as long as I know that you are able to put them aside when appropriate..

      Reply ↓

      • Okay apparenty I didnt hit ctrl+C like I thought I did..its late forgive me.. I meant to co sign the statement below…

        men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross….”

        Reply ↓

  13. I’ll be back in the morning to add more fodder for Luvvie’s snarky a$$ comments… at least until the Championship Parade in Philly tomorrow… then I’ll be drinkin beer with my boss on Broad Street!!!!

    Reply ↓

  14. I cant really think of much else

    well I guess being a technophobe is not a deal breaker either
    I like people with house phones, who still write letters, use actual books for research or otherwise communicate through more intimate mediums. I mean somebody has got to keep card catalogs alive, why else did I spend the first six year of my educational career learning about subject, author and title cards?

    Reply ↓

  15. I have put a moratorium on Kool-Aid until they bring back Purplesaurus Rex, and nooooooooooo not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio. The flavorsaur went extinct, and so did a piece of my soul.

    Reply ↓

    • I have put a moratorium on Kool-Aid until they bring back Purplesaurus Rex

      LMAO I use to love to mix grape and lemonade before they came out with that.. and now it just aint the same…smh

      Reply ↓

      • “LMAO I use to love to mix grape and lemonade before they came out with that.. ”

        Aw mayne! Me 2.
        I ain’t had kool-aid in about 5 yrs…I may hafta whip up a batch for old times sake.

        Reply ↓

        • Aw mayne! Me 2.
          I ain’t had kool-aid in about 5 yrs…I may hafta whip up a batch for old times sake.

          I got some on my desk right now… wait dont you have kids Miss t lee?
          you dont make them kool aid? Girl dont deprive them kids like that…….get them so Red kool aid with with the ghetto recipe of 2 1/2 of cups of sugar per package stat!!!

          Reply ↓

    • “…not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio.”

      Saywhaaa, Unicorn Wrangler?? Let me know the next time you’re in DC, because I will make you some divine grape/lemonade kool-aid.

      And yes, DC…not DMV. Everybody knows you can’t get quality Kool-Aid in the suburbs.

      Reply ↓

      • Awwww hellllll naw, PBG! My mama’s k-laid can beat yo mama’s k-laid any day of the week. We don’t play that mess in PG! You betta ask somebody…*switches off muttering under my breath* Can’t make good k-laid my azz…..like I’m not runnin’ round with 2 fillings thanks to da laid….been making laid cocktails since ’83….betta take that ish to MoCo….

        Reply ↓

        • Since ’83, huh? *snickers*

          I’ve been creating Kool-Aid magic since Murr’in Burree” (that’s Mayor for Life, Marion Barry, for ya’ll regular talkers, i.e. non-Washingtonians) was still on the School Board.

          Although, I don’t doubt you probably can find some good K-laid in Suitland or District Heights, but it will have crack in it. Drank @ your own risk n’ shyt.

          Reply ↓

          • teeheeheeheheee. I went to Suitland h.s. – and I can’t even argue with that one!!! But if you were making the Laid when MB was in office I’ma have to get yours tested for *extra sugar cubes* too…..

            Reply ↓

            • LMAO @ “extra sugar cubes”! Girl, leave our man alone! MB could run for Mayor in DC right now and get back in by a very respectable margin, despite this city being overrun by enthusiastic 2520s. Fenty is effin’ up, yo!

              Reply ↓

              • I know, I know – and Fenty went to my college!! I’m still waiting for him and Rhee to enforce marshall law…he’s got good intentions, though. Just glad i’m in the (hood) burbs…

                I met MB once at the Phillips – that bama was smacked! And was trying to hit on me in front of my mama. I was like 19 at the time….

                Reply ↓

              • “I met MB once at the Phillips – that bama was smacked! And was trying to hit on me in front of my mama. I was like 19 at the time….”

                CTFU!! That is Classic MB right there!!!

                Reply ↓

              • Both an Alpha (Barry) and a Kappa (Fenty) f*ckin up DC. And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.

                BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

                *I know I’m co-signing clownin’ my Nupes but dammit, that was funny sh*t

                Reply ↓

      • totally off topic, but am i the ONLY ninja in the DC area who HATES the term DMV. for one, that crap came out of nowhere a few years ago and exploded, but i really hate that sh*t. nobody wants to go to the real DMV, everytime i hear that term i think of the new license joint off M Street, SW and the fact that i waited for 2 hours to turn IN my old license plates.

        Reply ↓

        • I actually hate the term “DMV”. Nothing but bad memories of women with freakishly long nails (rings on each finger) and bad cosmetic choices making me “hurry up and wait”, while the men dress like they’re going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert every damn day of the week, asking me about my license and trying to mack at the same time. Yeah, that’s DC Gov’t workers for you.

          I use the ridiculous term to make a distinction between Authentic DC Denizens and the Posers from out in “The County”…PG, MoCo, AA, Charles Co, MD or “Across The Bridge”…VA. With their bamma azzes.

          Reply ↓

            • I’m just sayin’…DC Gov’t workers are a simply a plethora of “C” Students who dress and apply make-up in the dark each and everyday. Hot messes, the lot of them!!

              Reply ↓

              • thats true i hate to be over near those dc gvtment buildings around early spring..that is every black man’s invitation for linen pants. with heavy mad creases..You know philly got a little of that extra male flavor too.

                Reply ↓

              • I’m just sayin’…DC Gov’t workers are a simply a plethora of “C” Students who dress and apply make-up in the dark each and everyday. Hot messes, the lot of them!!

                dying! LMAO….so true.

                Reply ↓

          • “men dress like they’re going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert every damn day of the week”

            indoor or outdoor concert?…. Like linen short sets w/ mandals? Or like silk shirts with man cleaveage, ployester pants of a purplesaurus rex hue and 3 gold chains all with charms and a scurl?

            Reply ↓

            • LMAO!! I just bout died when I read this. I pictured the outfit and ERRTHANG. Oh and the skinny legs coming out the linen short set will top it off, talm bout “You young whippa snappas dont kno nuthin bout that right derr”

              Reply ↓

            • UnicornWrangler…girl! To borrow a phrase from yesterday’s blog…“Why does it matter??”

              That shyt is horrid, no matter the season!! Geesh!

              Reply ↓

            • “Or like silk shirts with man cleaveage”

              **dear lord..please don’t let me have a seziure right now**LOL

              this is SOOO true and these men are SUPER forward and bold too. I think its because there are women that actually like this foolishness.

              Reply ↓

          • You not gone keep tryin’ to carry PG – we might have to smack that “B” out the middle of your screen name..then what you gone do? Huh!?!

            I would say something in defense of MoCo, pero mi espanol es no muy bueno.

            Reply ↓

            • That would be a lot smackin’, woman. That “B” stands for my very brown skin and that ain’t going nowhere, despite all that Ivory soap my Big Mama scrubbed me down with the first 6 years of my life.

              Reply ↓

          • lmao, i may have grown up in va, but i was born in dc. go sibley hospital! i just hate the term dmv cause it reminds me of the actual dmv. i hate the dmv with a passion, i once had to renew my license and since it was post 9/11 you had to take every ID you ever got, your birth certificate, ss card, and 3 witnesses to your birth on US soil. i was so mad, not cause i lost all the documents, but cause i had to go to the dmv…of course i was happy when i found out i simply misplaced them, but im mad my intitial reaction was “i HATE the dmv!”

            Reply ↓

            • You were born @ Sibley? Oh, how fancy…a lot of my clients bypass 3 hospitals to get up there to have their babies.

              I was born @ Freedman’s Hospital which is sadly, no more. That building is now Howard University’s School of Communication.

              Reply ↓

        • DMV used to really throw me off as well. my friends living in that area say it all the time and it takes me a second to process. i just take the time to say DC-Maryland-Virginia area.

          Reply ↓

            • some of the areas around DC just aren’t DC-like to me and therefore don’t deserve to be grouped like that.

              Reply ↓

              • maybe not, but saying DMV does the exact same thing. there’s no good way to denote the DC Metropolitan area…but DMV blows balls way more than anything i can think of…

                its a shame too, cuz you really just can’t tell folks you from DC around here if you’re ass is from Vienna, VA…its like a sham wrapped up in a lie wrapped up in one of Comeback Girl’s soggy a** blankets.

                but if you’re from Decatur or hell, even Marietta or Lawrenceville, GA, you can tell folks you’re from Atlanta and the only folks who’ll bat an eye are people like me…

                ZONE 4!

                Reply ↓

              • “Comeback Girl’s soggy a** blankets”

                im so tired of giving yall negra’s the correct terminology..and i rep DC cause thats where i was born and raised and it takes me 10 minutes on 50 to get there so whatever.

                Reply ↓

              • “but if you’re from Decatur or hell, even Marietta or Lawrenceville, GA, you can tell folks you’re from Atlanta and the only folks who’ll bat an eye are people like me…”

                Me too. I hate when people wanna rep for a city they technically don’t live in. I used to stay setting people straight when I lived in ATL. Like umm, nah homie, your address says Decatur/College Park/East Point. Not Atlanta.

                Reply ↓

              • i see your point, PJ. i guess when i say d-m-v area i’m referring to actual geographical closeness, rather than dc-likeness.

                but yeah, i feel you on the not being from an actual city but claiming it. i never knew ppl did this (ppl in SoCal claim their zip codes) until i got to undergrad and everybody made it quite clear you couldn’t rep a “city” unless it was actually in your mailing address.

                Reply ↓

    • not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio

      obviously you havent met my mom. i think one of the kool-aid people stole the idea from her.

      it was probably one of those gypsies that were living with us in the early 80′s

      Reply ↓

  17. *Physical Appearance – Some of my homies exclusively date the model type or the chick whom the majority of n*ggas would pursue. I have no problem with that but experience has taught me that looks shouldn’t be the number one factor. Looks fade, seasons change, blah, blah, blah, etc….not saying that I will entertain someone who I find physically repulsive, but one doesn’t have to be a beauty queen as long as they do have some redeeming physical attribute and other shyt to bring to the table.

    *The Cooking Factor – A woman who can cook her ass off is definitely a plus, but I’m not gonna trip if she’s not overly proficient in the kitchen. I’m not picky like that…and plus I can bake a potato, steam or boil some broccoli, and a n*gga’s NICE on the Foreman Grill. Liquid smoke and proper seasoning goes a long way.

    *Ability To Procreate – This is a major no-no with many men, however, being 31 (for the next couple of weeks…my born day is Nov. 16th), I’m not convinced that I need to have children. I understand that children are a blessing but as of now, I have no desire to have a Prince Monk or Princess Monk.

    Reply ↓

  18. So the 80% rule, huh?

    1. Thick accents. Sometimes it can be irritating but sometimes, cute.
    2. Edgy – OK to have a little but not too much. Keeps things poppin
    3. Parental drama – just so you handle it as best you can and just so you got my back with them. And you know when to mount up and leave.
    4. Talk, talk, talk – talk all you want, but give me the option to opt out when my cup/ears are full.
    5. Not of my denomination – this one is new for me but I am recently becoming much more tolerant. Just believe in God and work out the particulars for yourself.
    6. Clingy – like our fearless leader, I can handle this better than distance. I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.

    Reply ↓

  19. Hmmm, cherry flags? *looks toward my man and begins typing feverishly*
    -under 5’11 – he’s still taller than me with heels on, so whatever.
    -ashy as all hell – this bama is covered in snow. You’d think he’s mixed. but he…..
    -is exactly the same shade as me – could we be kin? naw, but it’s still weird.
    -does not do dishes – this would have offended my feminist ideals in the past – but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track.
    -quick on the draw – but also quick to rally. tee-hee.
    -is a trash compactor. this bama eats my “leftovers lunch” as a midnight snack. for some strange reason i’m flattered. lucky his ashy azz is cute to me.
    -sports a nappy mustache – i mean, really. wtf? i trim it. After I cut his hair.
    -is from Miami. I’ve seen him get ready to go out to the club with his boys, and there is no happy medium between dressing like a skittle or like a Jehovah’s Witness. Watchtower anyone? I just tell him he looks cute and send him on his way. tee-hee.
    -says “guhl”. and I think that ish is cute. Actually, I think his dirty draws are cute – must be lub.

    Reply ↓

    • LOL!!!

      your list cracked me up… primarily because

      ” he’s still taller than me with heels on” I imagined him with heels on ala Prince Rogers Nelson, his Royal Musical Genius…

      but you totally had me with

      “but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track”

      Reply ↓

      • Um, can the thousands get a glossary for this piece?! I am lost on the 2520. I read the blog and sometimes even post, but I have been out a few weeks, so can somebody publish a bootleg VSB slang key!

        Humph.

        Reply ↓

        • Champ is “supposedly” still working on this.
          It will debut on March 32nd.

          Oh yeah 2520 is another term for the non-melanin folks. You know, the pink people…lol

          Reply ↓

      • Champie, someday a woman will like you enough to post your bidness. Pray she keeps your name and identifying details out.

        Reply ↓

    • i agree with everyone else–your list is so cute and funny. i think it’s great you’re willing to work with the brotha. some things you can “change” (i.e. cutting his hair, trimming his mustache) and others you can overlook. awwwwww love is a beautiful thing!

      Reply ↓

      • I think I got the sweet end of the deal, for realz. I only masquerade as sane, and that bama puts up with ALL my crazy ish (and it’s alot). Fo sho. But yeah, I start gigglin and shyt all little girl like when I think about him.

        Reply ↓

    • aWWE lIL’t YOU MAKIN ME MISS MY DAY’S @ famu. mY HOMEBOYS WAS ALWAYS ON THAT ‘HEY GRRRRRL’ OR ‘WUZZ UP GUHL.’ mAKES ME WANT TO DO THE CITY BOY TO THAT mICHAEL jACKSON OR bARRY wHITE

      Reply ↓

  20. Tropical Punch goes hard! :)

    IDK about the wild cherry flags.

    Looks–
    You ain’t gotta be Dwayne Johnson fine, hell I’ve even dated some true blue ugmos. As long as you don’t have a horn growing out of your forehead (shouts to Naturally/Devilishly/Home Edition Alise) I think I can make it work.
    The personality always draws me in…dayumit!!! :)

    I might have more…it’s way too early to think.

    Reply ↓

    • Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.

      ***giving slim a chance to reply before branding this comment with number 5***

      Reply ↓

    • “Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.”

      What bout us folks that are blessed with a high metabolism? Me working out may result in me losing weight. Which just would NOT be the business.

      Reply ↓

      • Working out isn’t about just losing weight. You can also tone what you do have, keep up stamina, build muscle in the right places…etc. No snark-o

        Reply ↓

      • Working out is important to overall health and, if you eat properly, can help you to maintain weight. I actually gain 5 lbs – in the very best of areas – when I am training for something.

        Laziness is not segzi.

        Besides, your metabolism is fine now. Give it a few years…

        Reply ↓

        • If I use my Mom (and the rest of the women in my fam) as a measuring tool, there’s not much fat-ass ness in my future (but there IS thickness. I hope it isnt a dream deferred).

          But I do agree. I need to start working out. *sigh* and to think, I used to be a hooper.

          Reply ↓

          • I hear ya. My momma’s thick now too. But I am really trying to stay at this weight (or within 10 lbs) till I go off to meet my maker. lol.

            Sprinting and lunging can help speed the thickness along. Well, round out da booty and fill in the thighs. Eat more protein, too.

            lol.

            Reply ↓

  22. Being a stripper. I know a lot of men have a problem with women who strip, but not me. I’ll encourage you to drop and give me 50 during timeouts on Monday Night Football.

    Reply ↓

  23. Not about red flags, not about must haves this is

    My negotiable list.

    1) Cig/Weed Smoker – Terrible Kiss aftermath or Black lips? Not a problem. The fact that she willfully ingests something that will kill her may be a red flag to a lesser man, but for me (a non-smoker) that’s nothing but sexy.

    2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right. Other cats will stew in anger as they lose time, and possibly some cash. Me? Jewelry, Purses, Shoes, Make up – I love those things you do to look good, feel feminine, and out dress the next woman.

    3) Can’t Cook – It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.

    4) Morning Person – I’m vampiric with my hatred of the sun and love for the night, but a bright eyed and bushy tailed chick can is often a Jah Send.

    Reply ↓

    • “2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right”

      a flight needs accessories. stop hatin’

      Reply ↓

    • It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.

      you know, this is actually true. plus, your expectations are so low that if it actually does turn out somewhat edible, its a huge plus.

      i like to call these chicks, “sarah palins”

      Reply ↓

      • “you know, this is actually true. plus, your expectations are so low that if it actually does turn out somewhat edible, its a huge plus.”

        The secret to success is to under-promise and over-deliver.

        Reply ↓

        • THEN AGAIN SHE GIVES YOU SOMETHING THAT PROVOKES SSA FIRE. i GOT TO GIVE THE NAY NO MY BROTHUH. i WOULD MUCH RATHER POKE FUN @ AND AGRIVATE MY WAY INTO THE KITCHEN THEN GET PISSED MYSELF ABOUT HER FULKIN UP THE FOOD. sHOOT dADDY SAID, ‘DON’T MESS UP NO GROCERIE.’ aND cHRIS wALKEN SAID, ‘YOU CAN TAKE ALL YOU WANT, BUT YOU GONE EAT ALL YOU TAKE BOY.’ bILUXI bLUES.

          Reply ↓

    • 2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right. Other cats will stew in anger as they lose time, and possibly some cash. Me? Jewelry, Purses, Shoes, Make up – I love those things you do to look good, feel feminine, and out dress the next woman.

      i know the perfect gal for you!!!

      this actually drives me crazy, be it my friends, man, family member.

      Reply ↓

    • “3) Can’t Cook – It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.”

      Gotta give a big co-sign on that one.

      Reply ↓

    • i HAVE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR ANOTHER MORNING PERSON. eSPECIALLY IF SHE CAN GET UP AFTER A NIGHT OF HEAVY DRINKIN N FLUKIN.

      Reply ↓

    • I must be a kitchen Nazi. Whenever people try to enter the kitchen while I am cooking, I glare at them, lower my voice to a rumble and sneer, “Why are you here?”

      Reply ↓

    • I’m going to put on my wedding dress (which was really a prom dress, but it was so damn awesome…) and go as a Princess. I just need a tiara. I’m divorced, but I saved it to have a ceremonial burning that I haven’t yet gotten around to doing.

      I hope I can still fit that jawn.

      (“Jawn” is officially my new fave slang word.)

      Reply ↓

      • I’m going to put on my wedding dress (which was really a prom dress, but it was so damn awesome…) and go as a Princess. I just need a tiara. I’m divorced, but I saved it to have a ceremonial burning that I haven’t yet gotten around to doing.

        this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”

        Reply ↓

        • “this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady””

          I just…lmao..I can’t.

          Reply ↓

        • “this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”

          Oh no.

          Reply ↓

      • you like ‘jawn’? CLEARLY you have not spent enough time in the DelVal. ‘jawn’ is a word that makes my ass twitch… it replaces nouns, pronouns and sometimes adjectives ’round these parts

        I’m gonna have to put you on the Diva Dust Ration Program for this one…

        Reply ↓

  26. I take the under (hopes that VSB readership is indeed V and S).

    Quick aside, how in the hell can you date a nasatall chick??? That will absolutely kill me. I wouldn’t be able to go out with her, because all the beautiful bootay would be so distracting it would only serve to enrage her and further frustrate me.

    Well anyway I’m calling these grape flags, only because grape (or purple according to Chappelle) is a vastly superior flavor of beverage than whatever it is you listed up top***

    Ok here we go:

    Reading Rainbow. Listen if she shares the same passion for butterflies in the sky as Lavar Burton thats great. If not its no big deal. I mean really people its 2008 there are a million ways to stay informed, I don’t need a chick who spends a good amount of our fornic8able time staring at dead trees with words on them.

    Parties all the time. I like Eddie Murphy. Really I do. I agree with him on a lot of issues. However I fundamentally disagree with him that a girl who enjoys the nightlife as much as me is a detriment. I never got this, so you like to party and club yet you want a woman who stays home all the time??? How does that make sense? So while you’re out partying, her “gay friend” Andre, can come and watch Bridezilla with her and taste her new cupcakes. Andre will get them cakes all right.

    Plans our house/car/kids/dogs she want it all. Though I don’t want a liar, cheater, deceiver or a heartbreaker, I do want in my life a woman who openly expresses the fact that she hopes that our kids come out with my cheeks or her hair. My friends: son i’ve been seeing this girl for 3 years and she talking bout “when we move in together…” WHEN!!! Dogs its only been 3 YEARS, we just met and sh*t.” Me: Ok so you would rather her say things like “listen after I cheat on you, you think we’ll still be friends?” or “hey i totally plan on just using you to fill my loneliness until med school when I meet a potential doctor who I really want” Friends: *Crickets*

    ***This is non negotiable

    Reply ↓

    • I take personal offense to you saying grape is vastly superior to cherry. Have you ever tasted a grape popsicle?? It tastes like cough syrup. I’m not a fan of robitussin.

      Reply ↓

    • Quick aside, how in the hell can you date a nasatall chick??? That will absolutely kill me. I wouldn’t be able to go out with her, because all the beautiful bootay would be so distracting it would only serve to enrage her and further frustrate me

      isn’t beautiful booty distracting already? i mean, judging by your comment, the only way you’d be distracted by booty is if you were hitting an elongated spine everyday.

      sh*t, i’m distracted by booty right now, and i”m staring at a computer screen

      Reply ↓

      • Touche, however it would also grind on you that you too could be sleeping on a booty like that every night, yet your stuck with human pancakes.

        With shorty also knowing she has nothing to offer in that department she will naturally get more defensive at any look/stare/glance/or nod that she sees you do while out. Which can only lead to bad things.

        Reply ↓

        • You know what? That is some true ish right there. I had a friend who was a nassatall – and you will never find a more paranoid chick on the planet. Most women will be a little sensitive about something that they lack, but it’s hard to fake having an arse (although it can be done) and men love it so much…seriously, I think she may be in an institution right now. Just get some padded panties already!!

          Reply ↓

        • lmao… WHATEVA… im a member of the NO DONKEY committee and i have NEVA had any complaints about my flatbacks… i mean there’s something back there (now hee hee) but before that i never had no problems…

          Reply ↓

  27. Wild Cherry Flags (by the way is that a new color by Wet n Wild?)

    Anywho

    1) Body Odor – I don’t mind if you stank. Sometimes people can stank so good. I like my man to run around outside all day, take a sh*t and not wipe his azz all the way. Mmmmhmmmm Funk =aphrodisiac.

    2) Wack S3X game – S3x is overrated anyway. Besides if he can’t fukc that good, I won’t have to worry about other chicks getting dycktimized.

    3) Smart – He doesn’t have to be smart. Who doesn’t like role playing. I can be the teacher and he can be the student. And I DO spank at my school. Owwwwwwwww

    4) Functional Crackhead – Crackheads are some sneaky, I mean crafty individuals. They can always come up on flat screen tvs, the latest video system. Pretty much anything. We’re in a recession, so I gotta take what I can get.

    5) Baby Daddy five times – Shyt that means I won’t have to worry about him wanting me to have kids. I can keep my size 4 figure. WHooDeeHooo

    ** Please note this list is a joke!

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra :)

    Reply ↓

  28. “btw, just in case anyone was taking any bets, the over/under for the number of reading challenged people who will completely ignore the topic today and just list their own personal red flags is 19″

    Even for the not so challenged with reading comprehension, this topic still forces people to think of red flags (whether they are someone else’s or not). My point: you will just get a repeat of replies from a couple of days ago. You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…

    Reply ↓

    • You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…

      any other suggestions, or is the advil cold medication you’re currently taking because you got sick after sleeping with damp blankets making you drowsy again?

      Reply ↓

    • You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…

      so my VTA dopaminergic projections to my NAc were clearly functional last night. thai food and good company?? reward indeed!! but my dorsal raphe nucleus seratoninergic projections may have increased firing because i started to “feel some type of way” about you know who. houston, we may have a problem. :(

      Reply ↓

  29. Clingy is cool if it’s a lot of attention. But when a guy calls a ridiculous amount of times each day and gets upset when you don’t call him back right away, then it’s a problem.

    My Wild Cherry Flags are…

    1) Musical Tastes – As long as it’s not country or heavy metal.

    2) Body Type – I prefer guys who are athletic & built, but will date skinny guys too.

    3) Profession – Most of the guys that I’ve dated are engineers or business professionals, but really don’t care as long as they’re passionate about what they do.

    4) Political Beliefs- As long as it’s not extreme. This is for both liberals and conservatives. Both types of extremists irk me.

    Reply ↓

    • 4) Political Beliefs- As long as it’s not extreme. This is for both liberals and conservatives. Both types of extremists irk me.

      as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized that if i was forced to choose between an ultra-political liberal and an ultra political conservative, i’d probably choose the latter. interesting and sh*t

      Reply ↓

  30. Purple flags

    1. friends with my friends~ you aint got to be friends with them heiffers but minimally just tolerate them and play nice when we go out together.

    2. make more money than me ~ this used to be one of my requirements, funny cause in the 14 years we were together the ex only made more $ than me while I was in grad school. I don’t mind being the primary bread winner so long as we are contributing equally

    3. be greek affiliated~as someone who is actively involved in her sorority I just need you to understand and respect that. It’s kind of like your Sunday basketball games and Monday Night Football.

    4. college degree ~ don’t want to restate what has already been said upthread.

    5. have children~while I can respect that you have children with an ex understand that I am not looking for drama, I don’t go looking for them but its fine if it comes about

    Reply ↓

    • 2. make more money than me ~ this used to be one of my requirements, funny cause in the 14 years we were together the ex only made more $ than me while I was in grad school. I don’t mind being the primary bread winner so long as we are contributing equally

      you know whats funny…when women have this as a deal-breaker, but then complain about the lack of eligible men, lol. its you, you do realize that the more money you make, the smaller your already shrinking pool is gonna get, right?

      Reply ↓

    • “It’s kind of like your Sunday basketball games and Monday Night Football”

      There are very few basketball games played on Sunday.

      *Pats IH on the head

      Reply ↓

  31. A lot of these may repeat what’s been said. I hate getting to the party late…

    1. Having a college degree. This is not indicative of intelligence as I met many dumb a$$ people in grad school. So if a brother is gainfully employed doing something he enjoys, I’d be okay with him hot having that piece of paper.

    2. Has children. I like the kids and though not ideal I can accept his.

    3. Been married before. As long as he has been divorced a good year, I can holla at a dude with an ex wife.

    Reply ↓

  32. Hmmm… I guess my wild cherry flags would be

    1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations.

    2. One baby/One twinkie away ladies… (shout out to Memphis Bleek)

    3. Women w/ kids. I love kids & plan on getting into education. Plus the older you get, and the longer you stay single, it’s more likely that some women you meet will have at least 1 child

    4. No college degree… i’m cool with that as long as ya a$$ has a plan, goal, or vision

    5. Pudges… nothing wrong with a little pudge. You don’t have to have the Janet Jackson abs, baby. Now bend ova…

    I’ll come up with more later

    Reply ↓

  33. A Londoner’s perspective on cherry flags:

    1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*

    2. Men with occasional HDR (horrible d**ck report): Atleast those days you don’t have to worry about your hair getting all nappy and can use the 80 quid to add yet another gadget to your private toy collection.

    3. Men with a stammer (stutter) : Arguing with someone who cant get his point across is so much more fun!

    EB

    Reply ↓

  34. 1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*

    This right here just made me choke.

    Reply ↓

  35. My WCF

    1. An alum, fan, or any fan who wishes he was an alum of Michigan. As an alum of The Ohio State University, he would normally be an automatic “hell no”, but I like a little sports drama in my relationships

    2. A little more to love; I don’t mind him being a little out of shape or even a little lazy in the exercise dept. b/c I have a ton of ideas of how to burn hundreds of calories while lying down…or sitting…whatever.

    3. A baby’s dady. As long he is taking care of his responsbilities to his child, I am cool with that. In fact, I will definitely have a lot of respect for him doing what he is supposed to do without the court forcing him to do it

    4. A picky eater. I know I don’t eat everything, and I won’t try everything b/c I’m vegetarian going on vegan, so I wouldn’t expect him to want to try any and everything edible…or maybe I should say consumable.

    I’m sure I have more, so I will be back later….

    Reply ↓

  36. Awwww… i heart this topic. Everybody’s list is so sweet and funny..

    my wcf’s (or purple w/ lemon cuz i makes some mean Koolaid) are

    #1 – punctuality – I’m late for EVERYTHING!!! at least 15 minutes… i tells this up front and matter of factly. I need a grace period…. so if he’s not a punctual type dude who am i to complain about that.

    # 2 – height – ehh… i’m a tallish chick (5’7”) but as long as he’s at least 5’10” and has some bulk on him he doesn’t have to be a skyscraper

    #3 – being hood… I definitely feel like i need a man with SOME hood credentials but if he’s a total geek and has never even saw a project i may be able to work with that as long as his heart don’t pump koolaid.

    #4 -skinny – i’ve never liked a skinny dude… but if his personality made up for his lack of girth and circumfrence i could prolly work with it.

    #5 – melanin deficient – older I get and the freer i get, the more attractive i find men of other races

    #6 – music tastes… as long as it’s not slasher music or something like that he can listen to whatever he likes.

    Reply ↓

  37. OK…I am not reading comments today…because I just stopped at the ‘brary for a hot 16 on my way home from an interview…(pray for me, it went well) so I got no time for the VSB shenanigans cuz I got a lunch date in a few…

    get back to my mission, break out the whip cream and the cherries and then we go through all the fly positions…oh..wait…um….I mean the post…right…ok…(FOCUS GOOD)

    CHAMP…I’m with you…I prefer clingy to cold if I have to choose between the two extremes…and as far as the nasatall…the 25/20′s in my gene pool tried to get mine, but I got a smack-able, handful back there and have gotten no complaints…so I apreciate your propensity for not making the young and the rumpless a dealbreaker…as for my dealbreakers…ummmm….let’s see..

    As the CF(uk)O of GOOD GIRL Inc, I must expound upon the types of behaviors/experiences/attittudes that do not meet my minimum requirements for employment. If you:

    -have a FELONY
    -have 3 or more co-parents
    -exhibit ni99a syndrome
    -have never lived alone
    -have no college (or military) experience to speak of
    -have Diva Dude tendencies
    -lack at least 2 close, personal (straight) MALE friends
    -have a slim p3nis and/or Napoleon syndrome
    -were eligible to vote and did not

    Please do not apply for a position with our company! We are not publicly traded and therefore reserve the right to refuse consideration for our phenomenal positions if any of the following criteria have been met.

    Thank you for your interest in GOOD GIRL Inc and as always… be GOOD or be GOOD AT IT! (wink)

    Reply ↓

  38. A couple that just came to me…

    Boughetto women. Well seeing as how I’m living in the mecca of boughettoness, I guess I have to make this a grape flag. Sure you can’t eat at Applebees, Red Lobster, Ruby Tuesday’s or Chili’s; yet you don’t know what a salad fork is? Whatever. Sure you hate it when ni99as are too cheap to take a high class gal like yourself to Morton’s and Ruth’s Chris, yet you continously order your petit ribeye well done because you “don’t eat raw meat”. Mmhmm. Hey who am I to judge that you refuse to drink bottom shelf liquors yet have a wide collection of Sutter Home in your crib? SMH

    Reply ↓

  39. most of my WCFs have been mentioned already. but while on my brisk walk to work (why i was in a hurry to get here at 12:30p is beyond me) i thought of another…

    ~hairy men. there used to be a time when the slightest hint of chest hair made me uncomfortable and sent me running in the opposite direction. but now i’m over it. kind of. overactive hair follicles can be helped. i mean, for some one (read: me) who has to tweeze the hell outta her eyebrows to keep them sharp, arched, and separated AND has to shave her legs all too often to keep them sleek and smooth, i understand completely. so after i’m done edging up the bikini line, i can hook up the mane growing out of my man’s thorax–i promise to be gentle.

    Reply ↓

  40. The Champ say’s

    “i’d sleep on satin bed pillows in the mold of bria myles’s hindparts.”

    You and me both brother. You and me both.

    I watched that Chris Brown, T-Pain video from time to time just for that moment.

    (Doing the Homer gargle when he thinks of something delicious.)

    Reply ↓

  41. most of my WCFs have been mentioned already. but while on my brisk walk to work (why i was in a hurry to get here at 12:30p is beyond me) i thought of another…

    ~hairy men. there used to be a time when the slightest hint of chest hair made me uncomfortable and sent me running in the opposite direction. but now i’m over it. kind of. overactive hair follicles can be helped. i mean, for some one (read: me) who has to tweeze the hell outta her eyebrows to keep them sharp, arched, and separated AND has to shave her legs all too often to keep them sleek and smooth, i understand completely. so after i’m done edging up the bikini area, i can hook up the mane growing out of my man’s thorax–i promise to be gentle.

    Reply ↓

  42. Sorry to be tardy to the party (a la Brian from Family Guy )

    and I aint mad that yall calling people out for not staying on topic I mean who wants to get 500 plus comments to their blog if half of them arent even staying with the topic!! thats some bullshit..but on with my list…..

    skinny men- and im talking about bird chest skinny, I actually dont mind a man who is bony sometimes I actually prefer it especially if he is tall….that ups the chance that he is packing…8 out 10 doctors agree!

    ugly feet- I could give two shits if a man has nice looking toes, long as he can clip them toenails his feet can look like they throwin up gang signs

    college education- this has been referenced before ditto to all those that spoke on it …and just as long as he dont come at me with that “college education is just a conspiracy to drive black people into debt” I actually had a guy say that shit to me

    No swagger- this was spoke on to, as long as he is not a straight up bitch he doesnt have to be the all extra cool, all the ladies pause when he steps into the room dude

    Kids- this is only if he is at an age where its pretty much expected, like 35 or older if I was to date someone that old I would expect him to have some children just leave that baby mama drama shit at the door….

    If I have more I’ll be back

    Reply ↓

  44. Hey there day-me! It’s been forever!

    Cherry red flags huh…

    okay.

    #1 smokers: It doesn’t bother me because I was raised around it.

    #2 Men with a small gut or are a bit out of shape: I’m not that shallow. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if they tried to work that off but a little bit of this and that doesn’t bother me. I like teddy bears. They’re good for cuddles.

    #3 Ugly feet / The basketball toes!: Well..I’m not a HUGE fan of jacked up feet but if he keeps his socks on it’s not a deal breaker. Plus I’m the kind of woman who would give my man a pedicure with my own hands.

    #4 Hair Loss?!!! This is a big one. I’m 30 now and as I get older I’m noticing that this is something many men in the age bracket that I date are subject to. As long as he doesn’t look like George Jefferson with the two poodle puffs, then it’s all good. He just has to keep it very short or shave it all off.

    Reply ↓

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