Why You Should Probably Stop Referring To “Women” As “Females,” Explained » VSB

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Why You Should Probably Stop Referring To “Women” As “Females,” Explained

Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images for Canon

 

Who is Michael B. Jordan?

Michael B. Jordan is perhaps the hottest Black male actor under 30 in Hollywood. In fact, he might be the only Black male actor under 30 in Hollywood. Raise your hand if you can name another Black male actor under 30 without Google. Now, take that hand and smack yourself with it, because you’re a damn lie.

He also compels me to scream “Where’s Wallace???” every time I see him on screen, but I think that’s just me.

Why is he in the news this week?

During an interview with GQ, Jordan joined Ice Cube, Tyrese, and several others on the list of famous Black guys with sizable Black female fanbases who just couldn’t help themselves from opening their mouths and saying some dumb-ass shit, losing many of those fans in the process.

Taye Diggs is on that list too, right?

Taye Diggs has been on that list so long that he’s practically emeritus. He gets a pension from that list. That list sends him letters every six months asking him to donate to the alumni fund.

So anyway, what did Michael B. Jordan say?

He claimed to be a part of the #alllivesmatter movement, he expressed that he was “colorblind” with dating, and he referred to women as “females.” It’s almost like his publicist gave him a list of things NOT to say, and he got that list confused with his talking points list.

Hmm, none of those things seem too bad, though. I mean, it’s good that he has such an open world view, right?

On the surface, perhaps. Those things do sound like good things. But context matters. And as people familiar with #Blacklivesmatter will tell you, the movement isn’t about valuing Black lives more than other lives. It’s about how Black lives haven’t been valued as much as other lives. An #alllivesmatter hashtag is ignorant and insulting because it draws attention away from the issue — Black lives, for as long as America has existed, haven’t really mattered — with some redundant, post-racial gobbledegook.

Also, when an American Black male volunteers that he’s a “colorblind” dater, 99,999 times out of 100,000 it’s code for “I’ll date anyone…except a Black woman. Unless, of course, she looks like Missandei.” Perhaps Jordan is that one in 100,000, but there’s a 99.999 percent chance he’s not.

Okay. Well, changing gears a bit, what’s the big deal with female? Why are people so annoyed when that word is used instead of women? Women are females, right?

Well, first it’s grammatically awkward. “Female” is fine when you use it as an adjective. For instance, earlier I referred to Jordan’s “sizable Black female fanbase.” Fanbase is the noun here. “Female,” like “Black” and “sizable,” is describing a type of fanbase.

You can also use it as a noun without it being awkward. For instance, let’s say you had a job taking attendance at an amusement park. You can say “836 females came to the park today, and 801 males.” This is an instance where the use of “female” and “male” would be appropriate. (You should also go back to school, because a job taking attendance at an amusement park sounds like the worst job ever.)

It’s inappropriate when it’s used as a substitute for “women.” For instance, “Don’t you hate it when females text all the time?” is grammatically awkward because you’re clearly referring to grown female human beings. And there’s already a word for grown female humans beings! Women! If you’re referring to a female human being who is not grown yet, the word is “girl.” And, if you want to be more creative and/or colloquial in your reference to female human beings, “ladies” could work. Shit, “chick” even has less of a negative connotation than “female.” (“Earth” works here too, if you’re in the Wu-Tang Clan.)

Ok, so it’s grammatically awkward. I still don’t see the issue here.

This is why context matters. Because experience has taught many of us that the type of person (men and women) to regularly refer to men as “men” and women as “females” is often the type of person who also has some pretty backward (and, often, dangerous) beliefs about women. The word “female” strips a woman of her humanity, reducing her to her sexual parts, and people who use female tend to view women through that lens.

It’s basically a polite way of saying “bitches.” And not in an ironic sense, but a “bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks” sense.

So, what’s next for Michael B. Jordan?

He’s still very young, so he still has time to become wiser, more worldly, and more media savvy. Or, he could just start dating Janelle Monae, and get all of his Black points back in one fell swoop.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • kris b.

    Blame Sweetpea (Omar Gooding) in baby boy being in the house with all those “sensitive-ass females” to avoid saying b!tch! He’s the culprit.

    • QueensBlvd

      Lmaoo I remember that scene. I do think the type of people who use of female in the media has impacted how we perceive the word. Wallace just needs to fallback real quick until Creed comes out.

      Oh and Denzel’s son on Ballers might be under 30.

    • 89% of that movie made no damn sense

      • Jennifer

        I thought that way in college when the movie came out…and then I moved to Baltimore and met some Jodys.

  • miss t-lee

    I’m pretty much tired of explaining this to kats who don’t get it, so I don’t.
    Just lets me know who I’m dealing with, and who I ain’t.

    • I used to be really vocal about black celebrities who weren’t “down for the cause”. Now? I don’t care. Don’t look for us to back you up when these folks in Hollywood start showing you their true colors though. You on your own since you don’t see color and all.

      • miss t-lee

        I’m not even much bothered by this guy. The only reason I even know about it, is because folks were going HAM on twitter about it yesterday.
        I was talking more about the “female” word. I ain’t got the patience to keep even trying to explain.

        • I don’t personally find being called a “female” offensive but I do understand why many women are turned off by it when it’s used by men.

          • miss t-lee

            It’s all good if you don’t find it offensive.
            Me on the other hand, it’s a no go.

            • Bushido Brown

              I noticed a lot of men use it but nothing nice ever followed after they said it.

              • miss t-lee

                BINGO.

        • Epsilonicus

          I need different Twitter friends. Last night I was discussing UK colonial parallels embedding within Lord of The Rings universe. And also how some dudes were still discussing that they can suck an IUD out. I missed this whole thing.

          • PhlyyPhree

            What part of twitter were YOU in?

          • miss t-lee

            The IUD convo was like 4/5 days ago…lol

            • Epsilonicus

              Naw it was still happening.

              • miss t-lee

                I hadn’t seen it since then.
                Praises!

                • Epsilonicus

                  Consider yourself blessed. Dudes are still displaying a lack of understanding of basic human anatomy. Damb failing education system

                  • miss t-lee

                    Yup…folks were straight sleeping through class.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Sleep? They wasn’t even in the school building.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Accurate…lol

          • The Lord of the Rings as a parallel to WWI Europe is a dope convo too.

            • miss t-lee

              See, I don’t know enough about either to even jump in that convo.

              • Once you see the movies then imagine each side as a shady/more shady 20th Century Europeans who are trying to murder other and take the others stuff with one side claiming to be righteous and the other side is just flexing.

                • miss t-lee

                  Gotcha. I haven’t seen any of the movies, so I had zero reference points.

                • Ashia Sims

                  I never considered it that way. But now that it’s been mentioned….I can see it. I like this convo. I want to be down with this portion of Twitter.

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Its the nerdy side of #BlackTwitter

                    • Ashia Sims

                      I’m there sorta. I guess I need to dive deeper.

            • Epsilonicus

              I said the decline of the elves and the decline of the Numenoreans were replicating the fall of UK. Especially in how in the Silmarillion, the Numenoreans attempted to bring their “gifts” back to the savage Middle Earth and bring enlightenment to the men.

              Also, all the evil people dark, even the men of the East called the Swarthy Men. Shucks, even the “dark elves” are treated as not quite as good or “elvish” as the Eldar

              • I looked at it from the Western view of the Orcs et al being a combo of the German horde or “Huns” and Turks. The Hobbits, Elves, and other acted as stand in for the English, French with the Ents and others representing colonial troops who get caught in the middle. The Precious in this case is simply power, which is an obsession of who get’s to dominate the globe for the time being.

                • But the good guys “win” by entirely rejecting the opportunity to have power. The evil side never saw that coming because it couldn’t imagine that anyone wouldn’t want power. And in so doing the remaining Elves lose all of their worldly status and must depart for the West. I’m just not seeing any colonial similarities.

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Elves doing that is similar to the UK giving up the empire.

                    • UK fought to keep its empire. And when Tolkien started the LOTR the British still had their empire.

              • Hmm. But you probably know already that Tolkien detested allegory and specifically didn’t care for people looking for allegory in his works. He also wasn’t exactly a big fan of colonialism. The Numenoreans transitioned from people who were selflessly sharing knowledge, food and technology with other humans to people who who were demanding tribute to people who were hunting,conquering, enslaving and sacrificing other humans. Tolkien portrays this as an unambiguously bad thing.

                There’s also the point where King Theoden tells Saruman that it doesn’t matter whether Saruman is indeed more advanced or more intelligent, that doesn’t give him the right to rule over so called “lesser beings”.

                There is plenty of problematic imagery within the LOTR but compared to people like Robert E. Howard or H.P. Lovecraft, Tolkien was almost liberal. There is the quote about how much he hated apartheid. I do think that the Shire imagery contains most of the romantic idealization of class and everyone knowing their place, which Michael Moorcock apparently disliked so much.

                • Epsilonicus

                  I know he hates it. However, it does not mean that some of the characters or plot points did not borrow from real history. The downfall of the elves and man are too similar to how the UK declined to just be coincidence.

                  • But the elves never had colonies like the UK, as they were the first intelligent creatures. The downfall of the elves came from fraticide, disobeying higher powers and being too attached to material goods and revenge. Numenor’s fall was similar with the added twist of starting to worship the Enemy and not realizing their arms were too short to box with God (or the Valar)

                    The stories of the human realms of Gondor/Arnor are similar to Rome and Byzantium ( large empire with mythic founder that splits up) but as far as the UK the only place I see that’s close to that is the Shire, which is isolationist and generally peaceful. The Rohirrim are a lift from Anglo-Saxon English sources but although they are warlike they’re not really expansionist like the UK was.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Elves were very expansionary. the Noldor left Valinor not only for the rings, but also to establish kingdoms in Middle Earth. Feanor wanted the Noldor to build something that rivaled Valinor.

                      Numenoreans were expansionists too. Hence their beef with the Ainur and there turn to Middle Earth. The Silmarillion talks about how they moved from being kind to the men of Middle Earth to becoming conquerors.

                      Again, it is not a direct allegory but there are some definite connections. Also, when you hear some older Brits discuss the empire, it echoes how the Gondorians wanted to become great like Numenor again.

                    • I think I mentioned in another reply about Numenor’s turn towards evil and conquest, which JRRT presents as bad, full stop. The reason I don’t think of the elves as expansionary is that upon their initial return to Middle-Earth they were pretty much the only intelligent living human like creatures on the planet. They weren’t conquering other humans/elves -the land was empty of anyone but them, until later. The Noldor were also exiled. They couldn’t go back even if they wanted to. I believe Mandos said that the Valar would raise mountains so that even the echoes of the elves’s pain and loss couldn’t be heard in Valinor. That’s a fall but it puts me more in mind of the expulsion from the Garden of Eden. It’s more a spiritual Fall than a physical one, though I can see how one might think otherwise..

                • Akhibrass

                  Tolkien’s stated “distaste” for allegory is irrelevant. LOTR is in fact one giant allegory for the history of western Europe. He pretty much admitted it as such.

          • That convo is *still* going on?!?!

            • Epsilonicus

              I saw about 4 people still discussing it last night

          • Asiyah

            Let’s be Twitter buds!

            • Epsilonicus

              Hit me on @epsilonicus. I talk a lot about Baltimore so be warned lol

              • Asiyah

                I don’t mind. I like geography.

                • Epsilonicus

                  You may also see photos of the little one.

                  • Asiyah

                    I followed you! my profile is private so forgive me for that

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I think I followed you too

                    • Asiyah

                      I’m anabomaye.

          • Elle

            I love you, yo.

          • Gibbous

            Really O-o

      • Ustadh

        “I used to be really vocal about black celebrities who weren’t “down for the cause”. Now? I don’t care.”

        That’s why you got to appreciate Viola Davis remarkable speech directed at the folks in hollywood and in front of millions.
        Not forgetting the Jessie Williams, J Cole etal …

        • Even those names you mentioned, although I appreciate them for always being advocates, I have learned not to expect it just because celebrities are black and have a platform. Skin folk don’t make them kinfolk.

          • Elizabeth O.

            “Skin folk don’t make them kinfolk.” Thank you for that phrase!

        • Bae

          Amen! Viola and Jesse for the win.

          • Charles Johnson

            until they say or do something we don’t like. then we’ll forget all that they’ve said and done and know them for that one thing. i can’t wait for the day when they dare challenge our dogma and show how feckless and fickle we can be.

      • Nick Peters

        He speaks for black people all he will be able to do is Tyler Perry movies

        • LadyIbaka

          You being sarcastic?

          • Nick Peters

            it was a joke

        • Mimzi

          buuuutttt… Viola Davis just won an Emmy and quoted Harriet Tubman so your point?

          • Nick Peters

            like 2 days ago…….

            • CityGirl

              Jessie Williams talks a lot about black issues, he hasn’t gotten blacklisted yet. Now, granted, his big (only??) role is on a Shonda Show, so….
              Is Hollywood checking for Jessie, or are they gonna shut him down for tapping into his melanin a little too much???

              • Nick Peters

                He is permanently stuck in Shondaland…which is a lesson we should all learn…and probably why most black actors don’t talk about race issues.

                • Bae

                  That’s just weak sauce you’re selling. They’re either cowards or they’re not.

              • Andre Spivey

                Looks like he’s stuck I’m ShondaLand..to be honest…but ShondaLand is dope anyway…so forget the rest of them..

      • heyheyno

        Preach

      • Shazza

        I guess he forgot about all the ire that was raised when he was announced as Johnny Storm.

    • skinnynow

      I’ve used it as a people filter. When a person is trying to talk to me and they use the word female as a noun, especially in a stupid context, I know then I don’t need to spend any more time with them than the next 30 seconds. I’m not a teacher, nor do I ever plan on becoming one. Google is an amazing tool.

      • miss t-lee

        Amen.

  • – “Raise your hand if you can name another Black male actor under 30 without Google.”

    O’Shea Jackson, Jr., sir.

    – “Also, when an American Black male volunteers that he’s a “colorblind” dater, 99,999 times out of 100,000 it’s code for “I’ll date anyone…except a Black woman.”

    No lies detected.

    I want to like Michael B. Jordan, especially after seeing his ripped back in one of the trailers for Creed, but the colorblind dating thing is always a red flag, I feel. On the BlackLivesMatter thing–Man. I’m remembering Richard Sherman’s lil press conference last week. Can I just channel my inner Tyra on that with “I was rooting for you! We were ALL rooting for you!”? (Although, I’m still willing to give Sherman the benefit of the doubt. Too bad for Michael B. Jordan. I can’t give him that benefit of the doubt.)

  • Am I the lone black woman who doesn’t see it in him? He’s not ugly but he also doesn’t get my juices flowing either. I’m glad that last movie he was in flopped though considering these recent comments. White folks don’t really fuck with you man, you better tread lightly with these comments which alienate your already small fan base bruh.

    • laddibugg

      I think I’m too old, plus he has no chin. He’s like a Black Ryan Reynolds. Bland and chinless.

      • That’s what it is! He’s got a weak chin!

        • laddibugg

          Soooooooo…my partner does too. I swear if I knew that before we started dating I might have not accepted the first date. But he hides it with a beard The first–and only–time he shaved during our relationship I almost cried it shocked me so much.

          • I’m sorry. Well, you love him and that’s all that matters.

          • Agatha Guilluame

            This right here is why I don’t fuck with the bearded ones…now I love you but our kids have no future…

      • CityGirl

        No Chin + Big Teeth =

        • laddibugg

          Puffy (or whatever his name is now)

      • Lea Thrace

        Don’t you speak ill of RR. His fineness abides!

    • miss t-lee

      No. I never did.
      Sahara.

    • No, I’m with you…He’s got that soft jawbone we were talking about a while back…like…I’d let him take me on a date or two…but…He’s have to wow me with personality to get the Nile flooded…and from this article…it’s looking like that personality would have me in a drought.

      • I think I’m just a heaux for really strong angles in a man’s face. Broderick Hunter always does it for me.

        http://38.media.tumblr.com/9fcfb81212bb9d7b26106c1380addd8a/tumblr_nee7vl8pbq1sixmm4o5_r1_400.gif

        • PhlyyPhree

          He could do it for me too. Mmmhmmm

        • SEEEEEEE girl! We are HERE! Now that is a smile/jawline/grillpiece/dimples I can get under! WHERE are my panties?! >_> I think that beautiful blazing smile vaporized them…

        • Illumina

          10 out of 10 – Would bang!

        • miss t-lee

          I like his body more than his face.

          • What’s not to like about this face??

            • miss t-lee

              If you like it I guess nothing.
              He’s doing nothing for me, though…lol

              • IsitFridayyet?

                Yeah, I’m not feeling him either. But he has very nice teeth.

                • miss t-lee

                  Only reason I even know dude is because of my tumblr feed. I’m always like “eh”…lol

              • LadyIbaka

                Giiiiirl, who does something for ya? Give me a name.

                • miss t-lee

                  I’m real particular. So with the exception of Idris…not really anyone famous lately.
                  Plus most models are too pretty.

                  • LadyIbaka

                    I know you loves you my Idris. Gotcha.

                    • miss t-lee

                      We’ll always agree there…lol

            • Jennifer

              He looks like he reads. That was my first thought. His smile has definite panty-dropping potential, IMO.

        • Siante

          he’s. f*cking. sexy.

        • Agatha Guilluame

          WHO IS THIS????????? *runs to Google*

          • The father of my future children.

            • LadyIbaka

              APPROVED!!!!???

            • Agatha Guilluame

              He was born in ’91. YIKES! Yup he’s yours. He’s beautiful though.

            • Lea Thrace

              Thought that was gonna be Malik’s daddy?

          • miss t-lee

            He’s a model.

            • LadyIbaka

              ?! Pause.

    • LadyIbaka

      Girl, he ugly.

      • Agatha Guilluame

        AND he has hips…I’d hate to see how far they spread after his first kid.

        • LMAOOOO I never cared for the face so I hadn’t ventured to see what the body is like. Soft men are a complete turn off for me.

          • LadyIbaka

            He is not soft looking at all though. He fufu skrong.

            • That face (minus the facial hair) reads as soft to me

        • LadyIbaka

          Stop it! He got hips too?! Bye, Michael Jordan.

        • miss t-lee

          Sh*t.

    • Siante

      I was out here make exceptions for him, telling people he “seems like he would be a good boyfriend” & he “probably has a good personality” but he’s out here giving me every reason not to f*ck w/ him like that no mo’.

      • LadyIbaka

        Giiiiirl. He ain’t checking for you.

        • Siante

          I realize that now! As of today mattafact I don’t f*cks w/ him anymore. See how easy that was? lol

          • LadyIbaka

            Shoo, why did you even ever?

            • Siante

              *sigh* Remember back a few posts when I was doling out wisdom about how us women need not pity the unattractive men?

              Welp, the truth is: that’s something I’ve struggled with in the past: getting w/ men based on pity. I went to rehab & thought I was better but VSB just witnessed my relapse w/ MBJ. I’m moving forward though & I’m leaving this minor “slip-up” behind me.

              *scrolls down to drool at the angular faced, sexual chocolate Ruby woo woo just posted*

              • LadyIbaka

                No more slip ups, esp with men who make known loud and clear you ain’t they type.

                • Siante

                  lesson learned! lol

  • laddibugg

    He’s from Newark, which explains a whole lot (I kid, I kid…..)

    But, yes, I agree that when a man (yes, it is always a man. Women don’t really say ‘males’ the way men say ‘females’) uses that word a lot, he tends to have some questionable views about the role of women in society and relationships. As soon as a guy drops that word, it’s like nails on a chalkboard…….and I feel like there is no more need for me to listen to what you have to say.

    • Interesting that you said it’s almost always men who say that. If anything, I’ve heard slightly more women say it, in a way to try to say “I’m not like those other women”. Point taken though.

      • QueensBlvd

        You’re right I have definitely heard “these females in here (insert insult)” a lot from women in the club, college, church, weddings, and wakes

        • Val

          Upvote for your moniker. I always like to be reminded of home.

      • That’s exactly it. The women who try to distance themselves with the “I’m not like *those* others” tend to co-sign “female” wholeheartedly.

        • miss t-lee

          UH OH.

          • lol

            What had happened?

            • miss t-lee

              Ohhhhh. Nothing. ?

        • Jennifer

          …and those are the women that make me back away slowly. I’ll find my sisterhood somewhere else.

      • Michelle

        I am starting to feel this way about the phrase “carefree Black girl”. IRL, I’ve noticed a certain type of Black woman/girl are calling themselves carefree…. The type that will patron “white spaces” and break out their “special snowflake” badges.

        • Excellent point. I’ve seen that before. The upshot is that I’ve even dated a few of them. Gee… You talk about how much you love White guys, yet you’re with you dark skin self. LOL

    • miss t-lee

      Yup, straight Charlie Brown teacher after that.

  • Ani-Q

    “The word “female” strips a woman of her humanity, reducing her to her sexual parts, and people who use female tend to view women through that lens.”

    Thank you. Thank you so much.

  • Well, I’m that 100,000th Black guy then. While I do date the rainbow, I love Black women as well. And I tend to prefer the darker hued sisters all else being equal. Unfortunately, I’ve also met the rest, who seem shocked that I actually like Black women, particularly those who look like Black women.

    But females is the gender equivalent of nigra. Like be man enough to say that b*tches ain’t ish. Perhaps you have a legit reason. Perhaps you’re entitled. But at least people can make their choices and go from there. It just comes off manipulative.

    • Damon Young

      it’s one thing to actually date the rainbow. there’s nothing wrong with that. thing is, the Black people who always make a point of telling everyone that they date the rainbow usually don’t have any shades of brown in that rainbow

      • TALK. ABOUT. IT!!

      • Ani-Q

        Exactly!

      • miss t-lee
      • Sigma_Since 93

        Context is also important too. The whole interview was basically I want to be involved with projects that are universal in nature and not just “black” projects / characters. The female discussion was a function of being seen with the baby Kardashian. Would you consider her to be a woman or a female in the woman hierarchy?

        • Epsilonicus

          Woman

          • Sigma_Since 93

            You see where I’m going with this. I’ve been told simply because someone has two gonads and a peen doesn’t make him a man. Maybe the key thing here is female vs. woman. I don’t know.

        • Asiyah

          neither. cyborg. too much plastic. not human anymore.

      • CallmePanda

        Can’t remember where I heard that he doesn’t date Black women at all. So now when I see us drool over his looks, I’m always thinking: He’s probably never going to be interested in you.

      • LadyIbaka

        If you oogly they can have you. Me no care. This one likes skittles, go ahead. We ain’t missing nothing.

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        I do understand how that is percieved, but I also have known many Black men & women who say they date the rainbow, have been hurt, ignored, violated, and disrespected by the same Black men and women everyone keeps telling them they should love.

        Its not hard to look in the other direction when people from your squad say you don’t belong there. I don’t always feel like it is fair to judge people on their preferences if we don’t even give them a chance to speak on how they got to that point in the first place.

        • Very true. There are a lot of hurt people out there, and they deal with their pain in all sorts of ways. At some point, they decide to Chuck deuces to their own kind.

          • Epsilonicus

            People always assume that I have never dated a Black woman. They always are surprised when they see old photos.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Because people just want to write you off for defying their imagination. If you aren’t what they believe you to be in their heads, YOU ARE WRONG. Not them. YOU ARE.

              I refuse to deal with that.

              • Story of my life, man. STORY OF MY LIFE!

                • LadyIbaka

                  Can’t blame folks, Todd. You cannot.

                  • Why do you say that

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Todd do I really need to answer that?!? Sway too knows the answer!

                    • Yes, answer it. I honestly want to know.

              • Epsilonicus

                People always ask if I would ever date a Black woman. I always tell them I have previously but since I have no plans to get divorced most likely not. If on the 1 trillion chance that I do end up single again, of course I would.

                Of all the dudes I know who date multi-racially, all of them date Black women except one.

                • How’s the baby?

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Walking. Getting into stuff. Rubbing women’s legs when he not suppose to.

                    • LMNOP

                      Aw. Those toddler years’ll keep you busy, but they go by too fast.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      This first year feels like it is going by so quickly. I want it to slow down.

                    • Michelle

                      Awww. My nephew used to stare at women’s booties.
                      I mean, he would stop and stare as they walked pass until he couldn’t see them anymore.
                      And he wasn’t even one year old yet.

                • Cleojonz

                  That’s a really stupid question in the face of the fact that you’re married . People really think they can say anything don’t they?

                  • Epsilonicus

                    I will be holding my baby and women approach me. They do not care at all.

                    • Cleojonz

                      Probably makes you more attractive, sad to say. Oh look girl, he takes care of his kids lol.

                  • Siante

                    If you’re referring to my question – I asked him out of honest curiosity. It can be difficult to interpret tone through the internet at times, so I’d like to clarify that my question was not made in judgement: I read (& respect) a lot of his opinions on here so I was legit curious to see what informed his decision as I run into A LOT of black men who (unsolicited) give me reasons for dating outside of their race that are completely shallow & based on aesthetics or broad generalizations (that are often not accurate). Just last week a brutha was telling me that he dates white women because they’re more submissive & yada, yada. Hearing things like this from black men on a regular basis can be disheartening because shouldn’t “love” be the primary reason? Anyway, Interracial dating is a topic that piques my curiosity & it’s a topic that I felt comfortable enough to ask within this particular forum due to the fact that —this is a blog about “blackness.” Once again I meant no disrespect. It was just refreshing to hear a perspective on interracial dating based on something deeper than “looks” or “stereotypes” coming from a black man because I don’t hear that too often.

                    • Cleojonz

                      What? NO! I was only referring to Eps stating that people ask him if he would ever date a black woman even though he is already married. I did not know you had posed the question so I’m sorry if you took my statement as a direct attack on you and no disrespect taken on my part.

                • Siante

                  so u married a white woman huh? question for u bruh: so was dating a woman who had an understanding/compassion for black culture a part of your decision or was that a non factor? just curious……..

                  • Epsilonicus

                    Hmm… I would not describe it as that. I would say an understanding of systemic racism and discrimination how it plays out in the life of people of color. So if I come talking about getting a DWB, you need to understand my individual frustration and how that situation fits into something larger.

                    • Siante

                      That makes sense.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Basically it is easier to teach you how to make my momma potato salad than it is to teach you that #blacklivesmatter

                      From my experience though, I have harder times explaining ish to Black folks than anyone else (probably since thats who Im around the most). I come across way too many #RespectabilityPolitic black folks than I feel like I deserve. I dated a young black woman in college who called me an angry black person in a room full of white people. Lets say we aint stay together for much longer than that.

                    • Siante

                      I avoid #RespectabilityPolitic black folks at all costs. They are like zombies to me & I don’t want to be poisoned by their desperate need to gain the approval of white people lol.

                      anywho— I can’t do anything but respect your perspective & reasons for choosing who you chose (as if my opinion counts because it doesn’t lol) but ^^^^^^^^<—– this is all real talk.

                    • Siante

                      I just read Cleojonz comment- I meant no disrespect by my question :/

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            Exactly. I know I did, and while I’m old enough to know better now, I had good reason to make my decision back then. I went through way too much crap to believe in the idea that Black Love is real during that time.

            • I get why people do it. But if I can still check for Black women after all I’ve gone through with my ex, you can too. Seriously.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                That’s what I’m saying. I changed. I married a Black woman, so I know I changed, but I remember distinctly saying to her on our second date “you may be the last Black woman I ever date” at the time, because i had absolutely no faith.

                She fixed that though.

                • Epsilonicus

                  She is the last Black woman you will date if it all works out right :-)

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    Very good point sir.

                • Siante

                  Oh Lawd!

          • I’ve seen it happen numerous times. A black guy from my church grew up dating black girls/women. He had his daughter by a black girl he met in college and after that he’s only dated white and Latina women. He has said he’s done dating black women after her.

      • This is true. I’ve come across people who seem shocked about my dating history when it comes out. I don’t really make a point of advertising. I’ve also heard a lot of fcukboy crap about Black women from Black men who assumed I was a part of the same movement.

    • miss t-lee

      I’d almost respect a kat more if he just said “b*tch”, instead of trying to dress it up.

      • I’ve heard women say “my sista” on repeat doesn’t sit right with them either.

        • PhlyyPhree

          Depends on the situation. For me, it’s the level of artifice behind the “my sista” that grates on my nerves

          • IsitFridayyet?

            I know what you are talking about. For me, it’s the tone. When it is said in a placating way, I see red.

        • It seems very forced when black men do this.

          “My Nubian Queen Who’s 3rd Eye Stays Open As She Carries the Kingdom in Her Womb”

          No thank you.

          • This sounds like it should be followed by some really bad poetry.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            It sounds and feels creepy whenever I hear it.

          • I almost fell off my chair laughing. So true.

        • miss t-lee

          I’m not a fan of that either. Or Queen
          Basically just call me my name, unless we’re cool. Then you get the nicknames, or terms of endearment.

          • I just always thought that queen ish was just pretentious, fake deep, with dash of Hotep.

            • miss t-lee

              Very.

            • Ani-Q

              I am not against calling a woman Queen but I need to know the context and the culture background of the person before I crucify. When I lived in Grenada I heard many guys use the word to address their mothers and gfs/wives especially those associated with the Rastafarian culture.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                Grenada! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay someone from the country I haven’t been to for 13 years.

                • LadyIbaka

                  You Grenadian? Like the name.

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    My dad is from Grenada, moved back 3 years ago.I grew up there for a few years (but born out here). Haven’t been back since 2003, but I will go next year.

                    • LadyIbaka

                      You berra. East or West home is best.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      I know..I’m trying to find myself, and I see I need to visit the countries my parents are from to really understand my heritage. I never felt West Indian aside from eating the food, having an accent when I’m pissed, and know some dancehall songs. I need to connect with it somehow.

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Absolutely my fellow Scorpio!!!

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      What are we going to do for our birthdays?

                    • LadyIbaka

                      Just let our light shine before that they may see our good works….looool

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Listen…all I need is a few drinks and that bright light is gonna be a flare gun after I hijack somebody’s yacht.

                    • Ani-Q

                      I thought your parentage was from Barbados. But yeah you are due for a visit.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Mom is from Barbados. I’m closer to her side of the family than my Dad’s family, most of those cousins were older and what not.

                    • Ani-Q

                      Oh ok. Well actually I am Vincy.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Oh really? I’ve not been to St. Vincent yet but everyone I’ve met from there are always nice and full of life.

                    • Ani-Q

                      Well you clearly need to add that on your bucket list when you decide to go island hopping.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      Will do so. You coming?

                    • Ani-Q

                      Why not.

                    • RewindingtonMaximus

                      yaaaaaaaaaaaaay

          • Epsilonicus

            Ok beautiful ;-)

            • miss t-lee

              *throat punch*

              • Epsilonicus

                I CANT BREATHE!!!

        • laddibugg

          I always feel like someone is trying to either sell me something or sell me on something when they say ‘my sista’.

          • miss t-lee

            Yep. Start clutching your purse.

          • Kind of like when white guys call me “buddy” or something like that.

            • Jennifer

              Or, white chicks call me “girlfriend” — particularly down south.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              Or guy

          • Wucie

            Black Jehovah Witnesses do this all the time. First the slow creep up, followed by the “my sista, have you let Him into your heart?”

            • I wince when anybody of any religion approaches me with their cause. Doesn’t set right with me.

          • TeeChantel

            Jamaica is well known for this.

          • Jennifer

            Sell something (beanpie, essential oils, or Jesus) or sell himself.

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          A young lady will be quick to say I’m not your sister (emphasis on the er) when she ain’t feeling you (or your mixtape)

        • Akhibrass

          This may be generational. For some of my older fam “my sista” and “my brotha” seem to come natural to them.

      • PhlyyPhree

        THIS!!!!!
        Just call me a b*tch, I can call you a hoe azz ninja and we can all go about our black azz day.

        • miss t-lee

          Exactly.

      • B*tch just show ignorance, like Ice cube… U hear him and you can deduce this ninja not bright why pay attention to what he has to say

        • LMNOP

          Female doesn’t sound too smart either though.

        • miss t-lee

          I mean, the minute I hear “female” I’m not listening either…lol

  • niqueDgeek

    ” Because experience has taught many of us that the type of person (men and women) to regularly refer to men as “men” and women as “females” is often the type of person who also has some pretty backward (and, often, dangerous) beliefs about women.” <– ALL OF THIS !!!
    Never really been fan (or stan) of Michael B. Jordan. His teeth are too big for his head, but I do have a friend who's in love with this man so I'm debating if I should share this on Facebook. Don't want to crap on her "imaginary" man.

    • LMAO girl! “his teeth are too big for his head” lmfao oh man #Chicklets

  • Michael soft chin Jordan is trying to make sure he gets roles where he’s allowed to act. That’s why he says all lives matter.

    Also Tristan Wilds, also from the wire, is under 30 and acts. No Google necessary.

    • Every time the topic of weak/soft chins comes up I always think about ____________ . LMAO

    • TeeChantel

      Tyler James Williams, is also under 30.

      • I forgot his name and didn’t want to write everybody hates Chris actor. Also homie with the cheekbones in Dope.

        • TeeChantel

          I remembered his name ever since his appearance on The Walking Dead.

        • LMNOP

          Everybody Hates Chris actor’s little brother is an actor too. Mostly on kids shows, but still

    • NomadaNare

      Went in on the chin though I was wondering when someone else would notice

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Michael said he’s tired of playing roles in which he dies.

    • Is he still acting or is he trying to make 2000s R&B hot again?

  • PhlyyPhree

    “He also compels me to scream “Where’s Wallace???” every time I see him on screen, but I think that’s just me.”

    This is not just you. I shed a tear every time I see a picture of him. I then wonder why he isn’t around to let me shed that tear on his shoulder and give me consol-ment chex after, but that part is probably all me. Especially since I know he ain’t checking for me because alas, I have a color and he doesnt see color. Meh

    • QueLoQue

      Word on the street is, you’re not exactly his type.

      • PhlyyPhree

        Yea, I know. Good thing I just want to look at him and not actually talk with him.

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