Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

The Short End Of The Stick: Women, Height Preferences, and Hypocrisy

We all know the story:

Perpetually and hopelessly single Girl sends an email to her homegirls, asking them to please be extra vigilant in their on-going search for Girl’s potential future beau. Girl’s homegirls — tired of Girl ruining brunches with her increasingly melancholy laments about her (lack of) dating success and also annoyed with smell of staleness emitting from Girl’s vagina — agree to help Girl with her search, even though they know that Girl’s standards means that there’s a better chance of seeing Muammar Gaddafi on Dancing With The Stars than finding her a match.

But, as luck would have it, one of Girl’s homegirls does happen to meet a Boy who should be a perfect fit. Successful (he’s a lawyer), handsome (he’s a lip model for Chapstick), funny (he was a finalist on the 1st season of Last Comic Standing), adventurous (he owns a full-grown liger), athletic (he plays semi-pro rugby), hood-enough (he goes to a Black barbershop and his name is “Malik”), and well-endowed (in college, a group of very impressed women nicknamed him “baby-arm”), Boy is a close to a perfect man as you can get. Girl’s homegirl tells Girl about Boy, and Girl is extremely excited (and extremely wet).

But, Girl also realizes that her homegirl is leaving out one very important piece of information. You see, although Girl is 5’0” in heels, she refuses to date anyone under 6’2”, and when Girl finds out that Boy is “only” 5’10”, Girl’s no longer interested and her panties immediately dry back up. Girl’s homegirl realizes that this is the last straw, and, realizing that Girl will continue to make everyone’s life a living hell, hires and sends a team of ninjas (not “n*ggas,” but actual ninjas) to Girl’s apartment to murder her. They succeed.

Although this tale was a bit hyperbolic, it’s not really that far from the cold hard reality of women and their completely illogical height preferences; a dastardly phenomenon with far reaching effects. Men who reach the average height for an American male — 5’9” — are routinely dismissed by women as “short,” and legitimately short men — men who fall under the average — remain the only demographic on Earth who it’s still socially acceptable to ridicule and/or discriminate against.

As pointed out in yesterday’s “The 10 Men You Should Never, Ever, Ever Consider Dating,” even many (if not most) midget broads still feel entitled to be with men who reach the ever so notable 6′ mark…even though only one out of every seven men qualifies.

This state of mind also affects how we categorize behavior. An asshole who happens to be 6’3”? Just an asshole. A 5’3” asshole? An example of Napoleon syndrome. An 6’1” man whipping a F-150? Cool. A 5’5” man whipping a F-150? Overcompensating.

Even (the few) women who are completely self-aware still take part in this foolishness, saying things like “I know it’s wrong to say this, but how’s it going to look when I bring my midget man to the family reunion and he gets picked last for volleyball?”

Yeah, I know that was funny, but imagine if this was said about, I don’t know, “big” women.

“I know it’s wrong to say this, but how’s it going to look when I bring my whale woman to the family reunion and she eats all the damn catfish?” (Ok, this was still kind of funny, but you get my point)

The most telling part of this phenomenon is that it exposes women who attend services at Our Lady of The Completely Illogical Height Preferences as being just as shallow and superficial as they accuse men of being. While chiding men for going gaga for God-given gluteus gifts or (gasp!) having a certain hair or complexion preference, they’re showing no shame in freely expressing that their relentless need to rock 6 inch heels and still be able to “look up” to their beaus automatically disqualifies any man who’s not at least five inches taller than her from coitus contention.

Sometimes they’ll even try spit some evolutionary gobbledygook about “feeling safer” with a taller man, like you need that extra two inches to help fend off the woolly mammoths and foaming crackheads of the Saks Fifth Serengeti. F*ckers.

Admittedly, it’s true that you can’t fabricate physical attraction, and I’m sure the illogical height preference hoochies will remind me of that fact. But, once you get to the meat of their mindset, you find that the preferences are 90% based on appearances. Basically, it’s not that she’s not attracted to men who don’t meet her requirements, she’s just concerned about the comments her homegirls will leave on her Facebook profile pics when they see that her new boo can head-butt her in the nose without bending over. At least a man’s preference for T and A is actually about the T and A…not whether his girl’s ass will look fat enough when he takes her to the company picnic.

Anyway, people of VSB.com, how do you feel about the completely illogical height preferences phenomenon? Do you think women are justified in feeling this way, or is the hypocrisy making you gag?

Also, for those who do pray at the height preferences alter, explain yourselves! Why exactly are you so hell-bent on being the Nate Robinson to your man’s Yao Ming? What’s wrong with just finding a Rondo?

—The Champ

***In just case you missed it, last week The Root compiled a list of “30 Black Bloggers You Should Know,” and VSB was the first blog listed! We are extremely appreciative of (and humbled by) all of this recognition, and we couldn’t have done it without you all. Thank you for continuing to be the best community on the internet***

And, um, if you haven’t purchased the paperback or the $9.99 Kindle version of “Your Degrees Wont Keep You Warm at Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime” yet, what the hell is stopping you?

Filed Under:

lånutensikkerhet.eu | Greg Aziz

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • SouthernQT2DC

    FIRST??

    • http://www.twitter.com/ChristiKennedy Christi

      Tall guys are nice. I’m 5’9 and would like a guy who is at least 5’11. Period. It’s a pity how the druggies have produced a species of incredibly short men all around. Lol.

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        welcome!!

      • http://thirdworldprofashional.blogspot.com Thirdworldprofashional

        I’m 5’11 and every single boyfriend I’ve had has been shorter than me. Doesn’t mean that I didn’t have guys above 6 feet wanna get with me but it seemed that when I decided to be in a proper relationship it was always with guys my exact height or shorter.

        I don’t really care about the height thing, as long as I don’t have to bend over and hurt my back to kiss you, I’m good.

        • Sula

          I don’t really care about the height thing

          Same here… and with good reason too! I am 5’4 and 3/4… lol. To be honest, I have never even wanted to be taller myself. I think I have the perfect height. Lol… My best friend is 5’11 (she has been this tall since we were in high school) and 2 of my younger sisters are like 5’8 and 5’10…

          Of course, it’s easy to date taller guys at this height… but I have dated guys my height… And I was perfectly fine with it. I guess I am an all opportunity dater… with a very important numero uno deal breaker: the boy has to be SMART. Can’t, won’t, refused to compromise on that. Lol.

          • http://naispeaks.blogspot.com Miss Muhammad

            Hey, you sound just like me and my bestie! We’re just leaving high school and I’m 5’11″ and she’s about 5’5″. Sadly, this means we have never been able to share clothes, as God meant for girlfriends to do. lol

      • john

        Im a 4 foot 10 inch tall (almost 5 feet) guy. I get teased and scared by tall Alpha girls like you alot. You’re heightist.

        • Short one

          I’m more worried about a 6’3 guy breaking me LOL, a 4’11 chick. Those girls who tease you about being short are going to wish later on that they were short ;)

      • Oscar A

        you’re kinda sad. and crazy.

        It’s funny, I’m 5’10. I just spent the last few years living abroad, mainly in Mexico, Turkey and Russia. I was shocked at how I know longer felt or was made to feel short. Even in Russia the girls seemed to have this way down on their list of things they were looking for in a guy. I’ve been back for 6 months and I can’t wait to get out. The problem is not really my height, or other men’s heights (or women’s breasts, or weight for that matter) but this highly commercialized society that’s pretty much brainwashed people into caring about all the wrong things. People are shockingly one-dimensional here. The woman above I’d definitely put into that category.

    • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

      GO GIRL!

    • I’m Just Saying

      1. 5’9 is not Tall-ish for a woman. You are tall.

      2. Why is it that only Tall-ish chicks are commenting. THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

      Thats all i got lol

      • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

        1. Excellent point. Average height for a woman in this country is 5’4, so if you’re taller than that, you’re technically not short.

        2. The wee little ones don’t wanna have to justify their preferences to the likes of us! rofl

        • http://naispeaks.blogspot.com Miss Muhammad

          “Average height for a woman in this country is 5’4″ ?

          Good grief, what country is THAT? lol. That’s really short. To my eyes it seems the average is more like 5′ 6″.

          • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

            For the US. I posted 2 source links a little further down this page.

    • Alex

      I am a short guy who has a preference for tall women. I’ve learned that many women over 6 feet don’t care too much about a man’s height since dating men only taller than themselves would make their choices very limited. Years ago I dated a woman almost 6’3 (I am 5’7) and I asked her why she first went out with me. Her exact quote was “All the tall men like little Pixie women, so who does that leave me to go out with”. Since then I have never been shy about asking a tall woman out. A surprising percentage will say yes.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    Honestly, as a tall-ish chick (5’9.5″) I don’t need a man who is over 5 inches taller than me. I’m not into heels but even if I wanted to be, it wouldn’t bother me to be eye to eye, or a little taller than him in heels. My main beef? Being eye to bosom. I really need to not be noticeably taller than my man when we are both wearing flats. I don’t think that’s a difficult request. I don’t think I am being shallow for feeling this way either lol. There was a time when I only wanted to date basketball players because I loved their height. I guess I still kinda like their height, but it’s not that much of a dealbreaker to me anymore.

    Either way, I get it. Some men prefer T over A. I prefer tall/average over munchkin. I don’t think we are being hypocrites, especially the tall women. We just want someone our height lol.

    Also, I don’t hate on short men. I feel like we have a kinship in our dating struggles with respect to height.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

      Thank you!

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      I getcha, Liz. It makes sense for you at 5’9 to not necessarily want a 5’6 dude. But if someone who is 5’0 is on that dummy talmbout “Ummm, he’s short” they need a dropkick.

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        lol true!

      • http://www.shardemarie.tumblr.com ShardeMarie

        For some reason I just envisioned Royce from basketball wives flying through the air, yipping like a chihuahua

      • http://kyssthis16.tumblr.com Shorty McShortstuff

        This is true. HOWEVER, just because 5’6 ain’t tall compared to me (5’1) does NOT mean I can’t tell that he’s, in fact, short. I know what short looks like. I AM short. Like I said before, I rather not look like I just stepped off the Wizard of Oz set.

        • Carter

          My question would be – you being short yourself, why would it matter that you are aware that he is also short?

          I just learned yesterday about this phenomenon. I’m curious to learn more.

          This statement – “I rather not look like I just stepped off the Wizard of Oz set” kind of backs up what the Champ was saying about your preference being based on appearances.

          • http://kyssthis16.tumblr.com Shorty McShortstuff

            It is about appearances. Who told you any different? lol If I like a guy, then I like a guy. There’s no stopping that train. It must be said that I’m a “solid” 5’1. I do not look like some pixie-Tinkerbell little person. I don’t like small dudes, and most short dudes are small. If I look like I can take you in a fight, we really have problems.

            • LuvRain

              I’m with you Shorty, when it comes to the “pixie” thing :). But this is my thing: Why is this a discussion? There are very few aesthetic must-haves for men. Society has made it so that those things are relegated to the world of woman.

              So what, I like a man that’s significantly taller than I am? Men have a myriad of physical preferences (INCLUSIVE of height) for women, nobody bats an eye. I can see why shorter men are…concerned. Same reason some chicks don’t like the whole “men likes curves” thing… cause some women were born to look like Olive Oil. But the women who are concerned with who other women want to date and are debating (for 2 days now!) what MY height requirement should be as a 5-footer…Really?! LOL @ y’all.

              I’ll date whomever attracts me. I can’t wear over-the-knee boots, but I can date a man at any height and probably be shorter than him. BTW, I like them 5’9″ and up and my current man is a full foot taller than me. Only men approching 6’5″ and above get the side eye (but not automatically denial).

              • http://jouromeo.blogspot.com/ Sage jr

                Let’s put it like this: It isn’t all about you “LuvRain”, this paradigm affects our community and THAT is the reason it is a discussion.

                You don’t need to be uppity about your perspective JUST because your perspective is uppity.

                Got it? Much live and play nice…Short stuff…Ha, I made a funny.

        • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

          If putting on 4″ heels means you’re barely eye level with a 5’6″ man, then 5’6″ IS tall compared to 5’1″. lol

          • Sula

            Exactly! Because short is in comparison to something or someone! Lol.

            I think it looks weirder when a super short woman is with a super tall dude… It’s just all kinds of weird. Lol.

            • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

              VERY weird. I mean, don’t women wonder about a dude who stays dating super-short chicks in the first place? Or is that unfair?

              [II]

              • http://kyssthis16.tumblr.com Shorty McShortstuff

                oop! lol That’s cold, yo. BUT! Let me tell you, I don’t look like a pixie. I’m short; I’m not small. And I don’t actually like super-tall dudes in real life. I can’t actually see myself with someone over 6 feet. I just can’t because it would look weird.

                • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

                  lol @ a pixie

      • Cali

        LMAO @ “they need a dropkick”!!!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        which i think is the crux of what Champ is talking about. Tall women might have a legitish beef…but its the tiny ovaries that do have some odd entitlement issue to date taller men. perhaps its psychological. they know they’ve got small feet and don’t want to chance their male offspring being tiny too. which is actually one of the very things many folks take into account when looking for babymakers – how they’ll end up.

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          So are ugly men wrong for preferring attractive women? I see you guy’s point but I’m just saying that everyone has and is allowed to have a preference. I have a bbm friend who loves skinny dudes (and they love her back). Who am I to tell her she needs to stick with other heavy guys. She can’t control who she is most attracted to. It’s really not my place to say.

          • bumilla

            She can’t control who she is most attracted to.

            THIS. but also, only a fool would let a preference keep them from being with someone who didn’t match that but hella cool otherwise.

            • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul Wit, Tits or STFU

              only a fool would let a preference keep them from being with someone who didn’t match that but hella cool otherwise.

              No, THIS.

            • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

              Yep, that too.

          • Kirk Lazzarus

            I don’t think that anyone is trying to control preferences it just becomes a problem when your preferences become foolish. The ugly guy can love pretty women, but when starts to tell solid 8′s that they don’t make the cut because they aint pretty enough. That’s when the problem starts. I’ve had this problem happen to me a few times. Girls shorter the 5’5 saying that I’m too short. I’m 6’1.

            • Yoles

              SCREEEEECCCCHHHHHHHstop the damn press Kirk Lazzarus!!!!!
              those broads were just straight dumb… must be the air is too thick down there or something…
              all that matters is I think you’re tall enough!!!!! 6’1″ hmpf

        • http://evolvingelle.wordpress.com Elle

          Panama said exactly what I was thinking. I’m thinking of my male offspring. My dad is 6’3″. I’m only 5’4″, but I have always had a preference for men who are taller than me (when I wear heels). Since I don’t want my kids to tower over their father, my preference is for a man who’s at least 5’10″. As I’ve gotten older, I’m not so stringent on that. I’ve dated guys who are 3-4 inches taller than me. But I seriously doubt I would date a man my height or shorter. That would just be weird.

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            You guys. Height is definitely determined with more factors than the height of their parents lol. Genetics is kinda crazy like that.

            but, I can get away with this line of free thinking since I have all kinds of height-powered genes on my side LOL.

            • http://evolvingelle.wordpress.com Elle

              Liz, you are absolutely right. Genetics are a weird thing. But I want to give my child as much of a chance of being tall as possible. #dontjudgeme :)

            • Omar

              Basically. My father is about 5′-10″ and my mother is 5′-6″ and my brother and I are both 6′-4″ and there is only only one other tall person on both sides of the family that we know of and he is 6′-2″.

              And I’ve known short people with tall parents, genes are definitely unpredictable.

              • Sav

                Exactly… As I stated yesterday… My cousin married a guy that’s 6’4″ or so, she’s 4’11″. Their daughter is going to be tall, their son is built like his mom. Short with a big booty.

                • V Renee

                  their son is built like his mom. Short with a big booty. .

                  Poor baby!

              • Sula

                My father is about 5?-10? and my mother is 5?-6? and my brother and I are both 6?-4? and there is only only one other tall person on both sides of the family that we know of and he is 6?-2?.

                Please say it one more time.

                My mother is 5’5, my father is 5’6 on a VERY good day. Lol. My sisters are 5’8, 5’6 and 5’10 respectively… so yeah, genetics doesn’t follow a straight up line… :)

            • http://naispeaks.blogspot.com Miss Muhammad

              #Agreed. I’m taller than both my parents and have been since the age of sixteen. I’m also lighter than both my parents, my younger brother is darker than both our parents, and my OLDER bro has hawk-eye vision, while both his mother and father have worn glasses most of their lives.

              My point? Marry whoever floats your boat the most, and send up a prayer about all the rest of that stuff. lol

            • jessi

              My daughter is only 5’4 and I’m 5’11. Genetics are evil!!!! She is one of those cute, hot, little girls who get all the guys and are mean as hell! I don’t even like her. I always wanted a tall daughter who could be a fellow “tall girl” lol… So if your looking to breed with people to produce certain offspring it won’t work. I never felt any connection to her since I realized she was going to be short, and even had a maternity test (yes there is one… thought my daughter was out there …switched at birth). Sadly she’s my own mean tiny person….. My son is 5’6 and 10. He’ll probably be 6’4 and only like girls 5’2. Being a tall girl is so hard and so lonely!

              • incognito07

                I was enjoying reading all the posts, and wasn’t going to comment until I read your comment. Did I hear you correctly say, ‘you felt no connection to your [flesh and blood] daughter once you discovered she was going to be short’ ? How could your daughter’s height have any baring on how much you love her? Maybe you were joking. If you are serious, this is very sad. And I feel bad for your daughter. I never heard a parent say they liked, or didn’t like, their children because of their height. The child deserves better. That’s taking this ‘height’ thing to a sickening level !!!

                • jessi

                  I love my daughter. Idon’t feel a connection with her because she’s like the girls who picked on me, superficial & unkind. I hope in time as she grows up it changes. I only meant to say genetics don’t always work as you would imagine.

        • Lola’s Mambo

          PJ3 you couldn’t be more right.

          I am 5″ tall. I’ve been to concerts where I’ve stared at torso’s and the backs of heads all night long. I’ve been turned away from rollercoaster rides because I must be THIS tall to ride. There are step ladders all over my house because I can’t reach anything on the top shelves. I’m the girl typically found directly beneath someone’s armpit (ripe with funk from the day mind you) on the el commuting to and from work. It’s very frustrating being a short person. I love my size… but I do feel like there is a need to compensate to get noticed sometimes… in all environments – not strictly limited to dating.

          My infatuation with tall men is purely Darwinistic. I simply don’t want to have a son that is 5,0″. Me + Taller than average Joe = Regular Sized Joe. That is not chick logic. And it seems as though tall men have a similar train of thought. Tall men are always bumping their heads on doorways, paying more for clothes, constantly crouching and messing up their posture. They recognize that there’s a disadvantage to being too tall as well.

          I will say though, that I do not shoot down short men just for the sake of wanting average-sized children. My current boyfriend is 5,5”-ish and I’m willing to modify my tastes/wants because he is a good man and is worth it. I think that everyone, regardless of what they’re looking for in a partner, goes through this. We (both men and women) all have ideas/lists/pictures of who and what we want, but when that actual person crosses our paths, they’re not at all what we had envisioned initially. They’re a 100 times better for 100 different reasons not limited to height, T&A, legs, and other physical/superficial qualities.

          • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

            Liz (and perhaps a few others) have already mentioned this, but you being with a tall man doesnt ensure your offspring will be tall or even averaged height. hell, you could be with some one just as small and your children come out taller than both parents.

            its very difficult to predict. itd take quite a bit of mating and generations before you get the genes all lined up for tall height.

          • Tiny T

            I love my size too! I’m 4’9″ so everyone is tall to me. Height has never been important to me, but I know a chick that is 5’1′ that likes guys over 6’0′. #leroyplease

        • realfreespirit

          LMAO @ tiny ovaries!

          I’m short (5’2) so, most people are tall to me. I am not going to get psycho with the height of my potential mate. I will not hand out Punnet square worksheets to dates to figure out the probable height of the fruit of my womb! While I hope that the Clyde to my Bonnie wouldn’t be the first runner up in the Lollipop Guild pageant, I’ll take him if I’m attracted to him, he loves me, has a good heart, and a working moral compass.

          • Sula

            THIS.

      • Lurker In Transition

        My girl attempted to pull that nonsense. I had to give her the sideye twice.

      • http://www.twitter.com/creolesoul CreoleSoul IS…TheUndeniable

        Amen. I was about to say, Liz is way exempt…didn’t even apply to her.

      • Girl

        I’m 5 ’2 and my husband is 6 ’5….i’ve always liked tall men, they just look better to me…

        My thing was “I’m looking out for my future sons”… hehe

        • truth

          Watch you have all tall girls, who have trouble getting dates because of their height.

      • john

        i am a 20yr old guy and smallboned at 4ft 10 inches…you sound hostile towards small guys….

    • It Figures!

      Liz,

      I am 5’11 and fighting the generational curses of my grandmothers. I agree with everything you said but the basketball player thing. I never required that height but it is a plus. I don’t want to look like a mother with her son either.

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        LOL! Yeah the basketball thing prolly comes from the fact that all the guys I used to date/swoon over in middle school and high school were basketball players, so they set the pace i guess.

        Plus my dad is 6’7″. My stepdad is 6’3″. Mom is 5’6″. Tall men preferences are hereditary! :)

        • It Figures!

          Hereditary, yes, it is true for me. My father is 6′ 5″. My grandmothers were both tall and my grandfathers short. It was the reverse of what the article is saying. I have never dated a short man. I have been tempted but I cannot do it.

          • coldsweat3

            I know others have thought it but yall are some TALL ASS WOMEN. WTF Is going in the food?!?!? F these organic products, my kids need hormones apparently.

            • It Figures!

              No hormones. All natural and delicious.

              • Kirk Lazzarus

                I hope it is naturally delicious…

        • Chris_Advocate

          Heredity is cruel sometimes, yo. My dad is over six feet and all my cousins are over 6’4, but here comes Chris at 5’9 and thats after I grew 7 inches AFTER i graduated high school. HA!

          But having said that, I have no trouble with the ladies, and theyve generally all been taller than me.

    • http://www.lorynwilson.com elledub

      i agree with liz. height isn’t really that much of a dealbreaker. there are a whole hell of a lot of other things a man could be that would be more of a dealbreaker to me. i’ve dated shorter men before in the past and i’m sure i will in the future. that said, if they aren’t at least eye level there’s gonna be an issue. eye to bosom isn’t sexy at all.

      • CleverScreenName

        I Love reading these comments… Here’s what I feel like I’m reading:

        “No, Champ! It’s not like that. I’ll date anyone… but I’m more attracted to Tall guys for no-reason-whatsoever”

        and

        “OK, ok, ok. I like tall guys. I admit it. But I’ll give an average sized guy (read: I think he’s short, but I guess 5’8.5″ is the cut off for average nowadays. who knew?) a chance if he’s perfect in every other way… basically, if he’s Malik from up above… [insert joke at actual short guys' expense]”

        elledub: “Height isn’t really that much of a dealbreaker” (so… kind of a deal breaker, though) … “eye to bosom isn’t sexy at all.” (Hence, today’s post)

    • Yoles

      liz

      i tried to say this yesterday, i’m not going to ignore a man that is my height but “My main beef? Being eye to bosom.” is sooo true… we can’t walk and talk, standing face-to-chest is disconcerting and it feels like you are not really connecting while conversing. i emphasized a man 5 inches shorter than me is too much.. the pic above… no bueno

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        Plus! a short man trying to put his arm around u feels awkward. Like you are some overgrown giant in 7th grade, waiting for him to hit puberty or something. We grown!

        • Yoles

          “we grown” is so true!!!! and i’m big… it just feels like i’m a seeing eye bear leading a blind man or something… NO BUENO

          SN: people talking about me… somehow i didn’t think you were in the “above average woman height club” either…
          #stillsaltyabout3deez

        • coldsweat3

          @Liz

          I think the problem is that women who want to wear 4-5” heels are acting as if they will be wearing those for most of the relationship. When they take their shoes off alot of the time they are SHORTER than the man. If your dating a dude whose your height he can still put his arms around you and it not feel awkward.

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            Eh. As a woman who doesn’t wear heels often, heels are indeed a way of life for women. There are basically two types of chicks: women who wear heels and women who don’t. I used to wear heels a lot, then I stopped wearing them….now I can’t wear a heel without breaking my neck or having severe foot pain the next day. Something about heels (i.e the way they mess up your feet!) makes it so you can’t really be a casual wearer. You’re all in or you’re all out. So, these women have some valid cases if they’re the type who wears heels a lot: they really mean they wear them all the time, so the height requirement/desire is real.

            • realfreespirit

              I wear heels alot so maybe I should be trying to snag a podiatrist for all of the potential foot damage. Damn the height…… LOL!!!

        • Omar

          To extend Champs big girl analogy, what if guys said that about big women

          “She so big I can’t even wrap my arm around her an reach her shoulder, I look like I’m patting her on the back all the time”

          People would say a guy’s mean for stuff like that.

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            What do you mean, “what if guys said that about big women.” MEN SAY THIS ALL THE TIME. Chubby chicks and fat acceptance is a whole nother talk show, but your hypothetical situation fails because it’s too plausible lol.

            And yes, people would say he is mean for saying that. But he’s mean and still dating chicks, so what’s the point/problem?

            • Omar

              Whether the guy is still dating chicks is debatable, he could be short, fat with black freckles. It just seems that women get to rationalize being mean and men get labeled superficial.

              If him putting his arm around you is awkward just don’t have him but his arm around you, it seems silly to make or brake a potential relationship. Just avoid all things awkward him putting his arm around you, the aforementioned forehead kiss and/or him trying to lift you off the ground at any point (ever).

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                A guy like that is both mean and superficial though? I don’t see any differences there with respect to gender. Mean and superficial men are dating chicks too. They may be low-selfofsteam chicks but still chicks nonetheless, who probably meet whatever superficial things they require.

              • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

                It just seems that women get to rationalize being mean and men get labeled superficial.

                @Omar
                i call BS. i think both genders are often accused of being superficial or hypocritical based on their physical characteristic preferences. and who are the ppl who are usually the ones that are upset the most by some one’s personal aesthetic criteria? the ones who dont fit the bill. a hit dog will holler. short men complain that women (of any size) excludes them from their list of dating desirables. dark women complain about men (of any shade) exclude them from their list of dating desirables. and so on and so forth.

                while no one likes to be excluded, men and women equally have their preferences. and truthfully, i actually believe men tend to be more likely to stray from their preferences (deal breakers), since they are such visual creatures. and women can be broke down by some jokes and smiley faces emoticons *shrug*

                • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

                  oops!
                  “i actually believe men tend to be more likely to stray from their preferences (deal breakers)”

                  should read…
                  “i actually believe men tend to be LESS likely to stray from their preferences (deal breakers)”

                  • Omar

                    I still think men catch more grief for being superficial, and women getting away with the I feel safer defense ,when a robber with a 38 special makes us all look 4′-10″, is one of the best examples.

                    I would say we stray from our preferences more for two reasons, they are often less rigidly defined and in the interest of horniness a lot of guys will take what they can get more than a lot of women would.

                    Also as easy as women can get broke down with jokes, they can get turned off with no hope of return by one slip of the tongue, so where one set of standards breaks down another set arises.

                    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

                      agree to disagree :)

            • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-Webb/115704781820865 KitKatCuty84

              Totally. I used to be pushing 240 and size 22. I often bemoaned that men treated big women like crap and were dbags in general, but didn’t suffer for their personality shortcomings because many other women still dated them and their men still high-fived them.

              Now I’m 150 and size 8 and I honestly still can’t deal with a dude who EVER made fun of big women. No, you don’t have to be ATTRACTED to them, and no, I’M not a big woman anymore, but if you made fun of big women, you’re a dbag. End of story.

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                yeah I’m not sure the weight thing was a good analogy here lol. Overweight folks catch all kinds of hell and discrimination (overtly or not) and the world keeps on ticking like nothing happened. I don’t see this changing anytime soon, either.

                • TWIsM81

                  I can’t get with comparing height to weight. In 99% of cases weight is a matter of choice. Height is not. I can alter my weight by changing eating habits and activities. It is conceivable and quite possible to drop 50lbs. There’s not a drink, meal, or supplement on Earth that will take a 5’6″ man and make him 6′. There’s no choice in that. #Next!

                  • http://lizburr.com Liz

                    Yeah the height/weight analogy has no merit here. Even if someone never changes their overweight or underweight status, the fact that it is perceived as changeable in our society, and height isn’t changeable, there are different dynamics at play. The best thing someone can do to change their height outside of genetics is probably related to nutrition during gestation, or your early years–something the individual in question has no control over either.

        • john

          “Plus! a short man trying to put his arm around u feels awkward. Like you are some overgrown giant in 7th grade, waiting for him to hit puberty or something. We grown!”

          i do admit, i have put my arm around a 5ft 8in girl and she was irritated….Im 20yrs old and only 4ft 10in tall…girls tend to act like Im a irritating little kid…

      • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

        Girl that’s easy access to the goods #whyyoufakin

        I am a fan of all men, short, tall, thick and broad! lol.

      • CleverScreenName

        @ Yoles:

        “we can’t walk and talk, standing face-to-chest is disconcerting…”

        Is it true the other way around? If the guy is 6 or 7 inches taller than you and you’re staring at his chest, would that be a problem? Not trying to put you on the spot here, because a LOT of women feel this way. But I think the point today is that women make up reasons to justify their attraction to taller men – and they actually believe their own reasons. But really, it’s probably just that subconsciously, “Tall guys are hot.”

        Damn Tall guys and their unfair advantages, being over to see over the crowds, and stuff (going to mutter silently now).

        • Alexis

          It’s not the same.

          We have breasts. In case someone wants to get all technical with this one–don’t. Pretty sure you know what I mean. :)

          It’s enough that men, generally speaking, like to stare. To have them conveniently, genetically up close and personal like that? No bueno.

    • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

      Everyone talks about heals and flats and it always makes me wonder… in the history of fashion and attire, which cordwainer had the bright idea to make higher heals a type of shoe typically ascribed to women? I’m sure that dude has to be burning way down deep in the depths of hell somewhere.

      Imagine an alternate reality where, historically, men were the ones who wore high healed shoes and women were the ones who typically wore flats – wouldn’t the world be a much better place? We’d never have to have this discussion.

      In all seriousness though, I can appreciate a woman wanting a man taller than her, but, I think that woman has to realize that men don’t limit their dating pool in that same way. So, if you’re a tall chick, you can’t expect a tall man to like you more than another woman who is, statistically, exactly the same as you just because you’re taller than her. Just because you PREFER a tall man doesn’t mean you’re ENTITLED to one. If you’re going to limit your dating pool that way, or in any appearance based way you need to be exceptional and bring something more to the table to ensure you don’t end up the lonely cat-lady. Tall men are at more of a premium than tall women by their respective opposite sexes. An average looking, average educated, average earning tall man pretty much has his pick of the litter. But an average looking, average educated, average earning tall woman has to get in line with the rest of the average chicks and hope she gets chose. Your height doesn’t make you special in the typical male’s grading rubric.

      • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

        Shame on me for using “heal” instead of “heel” all throughout this post…

        • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

          for shame…but we forgive you for being so interesting ;)

      • HR_Maggedon

        Men used to wear heels…. seriously. And bras used to be worn on the outside of the clothing…. don’t ask why I know these things. I just do.

      • Ivy St.

        “which cordwainer had the bright idea to make higher heals a type of shoe typically ascribed to women? I’m sure that dude has to be burning way down deep in the depths of hell somewhere.”

        LOL! The great thing about heals is that they make our legs look leaner and nicer looking overall. Even women that have little to no muscle in their leg, seem to have nicer legs when they wear heals. I think this man was looking out for other men.

      • Shelby

        Slow clap. Standing O. That whole last paragraph is IT!

        Can you say it one moe ‘gain for those in the cheap seats:
        “I can appreciate a woman wanting a man taller than her, but, I think that woman has to realize that men don’t limit their dating pool in that same way. So, if you’re a tall chick, you can’t expect a tall man to like you more than another woman who is, statistically, exactly the same as you just because you’re taller than her. Just because you PREFER a tall man doesn’t mean you’re ENTITLED to one. If you’re going to limit your dating pool that way, or in any appearance based way you need to be exceptional and bring something more to the table to ensure you don’t end up the lonely cat-lady.”

        Amen and amen!

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          Ehh. I call shenanigans. This argument only works for tall men and their dating pools. Short men have smaller dating pools too, not by choice, but because women taller than them ain’t on that tip. Nobody here is disillusioned by entitlement but instead just looking at the facts of height.

          • http://kineticculture.com NubianEmpress

            “Short men have smaller dating pools too, not by choice, but because women taller than them ain’t on that tip. ”

            #dirtythought

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              LOLLLL

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            Liz you can speak for me all day today. Thank you.

          • LSQ

            I am not so sure the short man’s situation is as bad as you think. By being average height, the “short” man avoids a lot of the superficial women that are height-obsessed – so maybe this is the way it was ‘supposed’ to be? neither party really want each other.

            looking at this: http://www.solvedating.com/american-singles-height.html
            it looks like if ladies dated men that are 5″ taller than them, then er body would have somebody.

          • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

            I hear you to an extent but there’s a big difference in what we’re saying. That is, a short guy knows and understands that he has to compete with taller men for not only the women that are taller than him, but also the short women cuz some short women love tall men too. Short dudes know they gotta compete and so they come to the game prepared.

            Tall women, on the flip side, seem to believe they don’t have to and shouldn’t have to compete with shorter women for the affections of taller men. They feel like they’re entitled to a tall man by the sheer fact that they’re tall. The point of my comment was to say, y’all gotta compete the same way short men gotta compete. If you’re dating pool is limited for any reason you need to put your game face on and be great.

            I’ve never in my life heard a short dude complain about not being able to find a good woman. Can’t say the same about women who have height requirements. So like i said, I’m not going to knock your requirement or tell you you’re not entitled to choose based on your own rubric, I’m just saying… you gotta compete.

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              @TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld
              Hmm I have heard short men complain about getting women. It may or may not have been due to their height though (maybe they have other issues). I think tall women have their own dating challenges, but I am starting to think this whole post is more about the short short women demanding men over 6′. All the other folks have one less issue to deal with.

            • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

              The above was me responding to Liz’ response to me – didn’t realize it would fall so far down below.

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                @TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld
                sorry i think we broke the comments section today. threading is all borked. sigh. but, I got it :)

            • jessi

              Tall girls are sad girls!!!!! The dating thing starts when your young! Tall girls get hate!!!! Not disinterest, straight up hate!!!! We never learn to flirt, smile, or even look up. Short men I guess are horny so they still try. Tall girls become loners. I never even leave my house other than to buy essential things…. I don’t need to be told how tall & weird I am….lol I noticed before. I’m 34, 5’11, a virgin, and have a good job, two cool children and a full life without men… It is what it is!

              • http://www.mysixcents.wordpress.com K. LySha

                Wait 2 children and you’re a virgin? Adoption?

                • jessi

                  Yes, you can be a virgin and have children.

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        this comment just reminded me of how everyone who met you at #ThreeDeez kept wanting to put you in their pockets. you’re adorably fun sized. that is all….

      • Omar

        “In all seriousness though, I can appreciate a woman wanting a man taller than her, but, I think that woman has to realize that men don’t limit their dating pool in that same way.”

        BASICALLY. The same can be said for women wanting men who make as much or more than them, there’s nothing wrong with wanting it but men make no such preconditions; after good looks and sanity relatively speaking most other things are pretty flexible.

    • LegallyBrown

      Good assessment! I agree! 5’8″ girl who wears 5 inch heels (daily)…and I REALLLLY tried to do the my height or shorter thing, but I always felt like I was out w/ith my little brother or something! And bumping foreheads when trying to hug is incredibly akward…

    • http://youneedpeaceofmindheresapieceofmine.blogspot.com 8thlight

      I don’t know how much kinship short men and tall women have. Tall women have no problem finding dates. They just may only want to date people taller than them. That’s not quite the same thing.

      Tall women are likely just being picky in comparison to short men that a re marginalized.

  • lotusflower11

    I died at lip model and baby arm. Too funny

    • http://twitter.com/sweetdivalove Mia

      Champ really expected me to stop my laughing fit and continue to read this post after that?! LMAO >>>> A full grown liger. His name is Malik. Baby Arm.
      Like Liz, I’m tallish (5’9” 3/4) A majority of the guys I’ve dated have been taller. I guess because of that it turned into a requirement.
      However,short or tall…..as long as he’s fine among other things….I’d give him a chance. ;-)

  • datgidigirl

    Yay, I’m here BEFORE everyone has come and gone.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      and how does that make you feel on the inside?

      • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

        that’s what he said

        • k-steez

          ha!

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          LOL, I love how the OG comment and PJ’s reply compliment each other. Well-played, SFG.

  • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

    I encourage women to discriminate against men who aren’t giants. This leaves more men for me to choose from. What? Isn’t this a place where we can be honest?

    • Starita34

      Here! Here! Ladies you don’t want no short, short man! but I do Leave them munchkins for me alone!

      • http://ThinkPrettySmart.typepad.com Ms. Smart

        Also, my view might be different if I were taller. But at FIVE THREE AND A HALF, I really don’t encounter too many men shorter than me (with or without stilettos).

        • Starita34

          Woncetagin, you’re strummin my pain with your fingers…I’m not mad at 5’10″ ladies wanting 5’10″ men, it’s the chicks our height that won’t date a 5’10 dude who’s still 5 inches taller than her in heels. FOH while I swoop that man.

    • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

      +1
      I think I’ve had this conversation once or twice with a few of my friends before; it’s always some irrelevant sh*t they’re not giving dude a chance for…Goes something like this:

      Friend: “And girl, so what he’s got a job, no kids, no criminal record, lives alone but still visits him parents on the weekend? He’s five nine!”

      Me: You know what? You damn right! You should be offended, cause I’m offended for you. Matter fact, what’s his number so I can call him and express my outrage properly?

      • V Renee

        Matter fact, what’s his number so I can call him and express my outrage properly? .

        I like the way you think. LOL

      • Perfect Square

        Loves it and goes back to lurking

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        You win at existing, on the real.

    • Mimi

      I am 5’8 woman and I endorse this message.

  • SayitWithYoChest

    Lol
    Attack of the Giant Amazons in
    5….4…3…2….

    • Tezzybaby

      Bring ‘em out Bring ‘em out, it’s hard to yell with….sorry got carried away.

    • Yoles

      i’m not attacking the munchkins… i am saying a 5+ inch over your height requirement is a bit much… that’s all i’m saying… munchkins be tripping

      • Shelby

        Yoles, yall went in on the munchkins yesterday! #thatisall

        And, yes, I AM standing up when I say that. LOL

    • WayUPThere

      the name is too classic for this not to be linked somewhere

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYM_Cei2QiQ&feature=related

    • Classy6ft5

      Actually sweetie, this post is geared more towards our irrational shorter e-friends. (At least that’s the way I read it)

      However, thank you for your concern!

      • bumilla

        who you calling irrational?

        • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

          probably short women who require men they date to be at least 1ft taller than them…

          but thats just a guess *shrug*

          • Yoles

            @Gem

            hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      • SayitWithYoChest

        Sorry I didn’t interpret the post the way you did, I’ll try to do better next time. I took it as if all women are entitled to their preference but when any woman limits herself from great guys due to height differences only, it is she that will be on the proverbial “short end of the stick”.

      • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

        can i just admit publicly that when i saw you at #ThreeDeez my mouth dropped in amazement at you really being 6’5″ with flats on? and for about 15sec i wanted to offer my 6’5″ bp (read: boo piece) to you as a peace offering for the struggles my ppl (read: women 5’5″ and under) have caused you.

        • Classy6ft5

          I would have been incredibly ecstatic by that gracious offering. Next time. ;)

          • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

            LOL! well ive come to the decision already that i want to keep him. at least for a little while longer. if i ever get fed up, i know exactly the woman i will offer him to ;-)

            • Leelicious

              Gem, and you say I’m a mess? LOL

  • DC1913

    i’m 5’3” so unless dude is an extra from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, i’m good. But if he is, well hey, I don like the look of it *oompa loompa voice* LOL. But seriously I think there are OTHER stereotypes about height/feet/hands that also go in to play. If a guy is small… he may be…small… sooo yea…

    • DC1913

      For clarification, i’m not saying i agree with that last part. I just think that is where some of the bias comes from…

      • ac dubois

        because I have been the unwilling recipient of many cellphone genital pictures and men desperately feel the need to pull their wee-wees out in my presence i can say that the height/feet/hands thing is not true. i’ve seen basketball height black men with very (very small) packages and I’ve seen the 5’9 guy with a pretty great package. i’m 100% convinced there is nothing to that whole stereotype, including the one about black male endowment lol

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          Yeah, unfortunately for us the height thing is so not a good indicator. The shortest guy I dated (I think he was like 5’6 or 5’7) is up near the top of my list in terms of package impressiveness. A few taller/bigger guys also float near the bottom of the same list. The most impressive still goes to the tallest guy I’ve ever been with, but those anomalies in the middle always throw me for a loop.

          All of this is from the experience of my formerly heathen ways. As you all know, I am celibate (60 hours and counting).

          • http://www.shardemarie.tumblr.com ShardeMarie

            I’m sorry Liz but I think its very rude of you to copy and paste things from my diary. Lol

            Seriously though. I’ve had my share and they came in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors and some of them threw me completely off. There was one guy who was 5’4″ and I looked at IT with that “I hope you don’t think that’s fitting in me” look. And then there was another guy who was 6’5″ and I looked at IT and laughed so hard I gave my own damn self an orgasm.

            • Classy6ft5

              So we have ALREADY dated some of the same men, I see!

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              Nothing is more tragic than being surprised (in a bad way) by a tall man.

              • http://www.shardemarie.tumblr.com ShardeMarie

                There’s one guy who’s been nicknamed Smoke Meat Pete. (Not one of my own experiences) He’s 6’6″ 250 lbs and from what I hear, its probably about the size of his thumb. Smh *moment of silence*

          • Corey

            You must have slept through the first 58 1/2 hours of it! Oh the agony!

          • Yoles

            Liz
            re: your celibacy

            YAY you go girl… It works if you work it so work it you’re worth it (that is said at the end of support group meetings and the such) i’m rooting for you!!!!

            SN: in regards to male member size there is only ONE way to know… to see it in the flesh.. i’ve been, found a twenty in the street pleasantly surprised and dingo took my baby distraught before, there is no walk, hand/foot size, height etc that will let you know what’s below… ?

            • http://twitter.com/#!/NewYork2VA NY2VA

              DEAD @ “dingo took my baby distraught.” With that, I’m off to bed. I’m 5’3 and I’m married to a man who is 5’11. I have nothing of substance to add.

              Night Night…

              • Shelby

                Be prepared for a whole lotta hate mail when you wake up this morning! You’re 5’3 and he’s 5’11? They just lost one! No Lauryn Hill.

                • Around the Way Girl

                  Is 5’11 considered tall? My boyfriend is about 5’11, but at 5’8 I’m taller than him when I wear heels, so I would put 5’11 in that average category. NY is ok lol.

                • AmbitiousBrown

                  Yeah, as a 5’11″ woman with a 6’5″ husband she’s good to go; no hate from me. Now if she said something about her 6’9″ husband…actually, I’d still be good. If you ara a tallish woman you might feel like you lost one, but for the legitimately tall women, I think a 5’11″ dude is considered about average.

              • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

                @NY2VA

                damn my goon, you are the shortest one in the group. miss t-lee is a whopping 5’9″ (yes, this is tall to me).

                • Yoles

                  @Gem

                  see people on here telling me they thought i was short (i’m 5’9″ and 6/8ths bump it 5’10″) and i’m gonna be honest and say i thought you were TALL

                  goes to show these AVIs aren’t telling the whole story

                  • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

                    LOL!!!!! i know right?? it was strange to meet ppl at #ThreeDeez and them not be the heigh you expected them to be based on a head shot (o_O)

                    but fa real doe, my goonability makes me appear to be an amazon so *shrug*

                • MsEvaHoney

                  I am 5’3″ and don’t give 2 dambs about height. I prefer 5’6-5’9 but if you are taller or shorter….*shrugs* it’s just not that serious to me.

                  • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

                    so you and NY2VA share the shorty-do-wop title. thats cool. i like being in the middle…

                    wait, did that sound inappropriate???

                    • Corey

                      Nope. Sounded like a party to me!

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              LOL thanks for your support. I need it :) LOLLLLLL.

              I dunno there’s got to be something we can use for the litmus test without having to grope a dude up. Maybe something like baby hair on the back of his knuckles length, deepness of voice, how long he can balance on one foot–SOMETHING!!!

              • Yoles

                well deepness of voice is NOT it… i’ve seen a lot of p.enis (i am a nurse) and the voice is not even close to being an indicator… now maybe this balancing on one foot thing… hmmm seeing that if it leaned a little to the left or right would mess up his equilibrium or something now that may be something that needs investigating!!!!

                • http://lizburr.com Liz

                  LMAO! YES! I forgot nurses and medical professionals would have an inside track! *rubs hands together* what do you think it could be????

              • Sula

                I have devised a strategy… Lol. Bear with me. It’s not anything tangible though… but have you seen the man that apparently shouldn’t have many reasons to be completely confident borderline cocky? Have you ever met that guy? Like he would talk to a pretty girl with relaxed and calm confidence or he will just be quietly smiling and flirting? That guy I have found out more often than not has GREAT stroke game and 9 times out of 10 is very well endowed…

                So that’s my litmus test… But it takes paying close attention… My friends and I call it D!ck Confidence (yeah we are creative like that. Lol)…. and it seems to be working for them. ;)

                • http://lizburr.com Liz

                  *whispers* I mean I didn’t wanna say this outloud, but YES!!! According to my research, I have concluded with the SAME findings. Hmmmm….you’re right. I need to start paying closer attention to some of these dudes.

                • Yoles

                  i agree… add to that they NEVER talk about sex, their p.enis or seem pressed to show it to you/get you in the bed… YES they already know they got it going on!!!!! Sula you get the gold ?

        • WayUPThere

          Say what? On some real has that ever worked on women, cuz I don’t get why guys still do it? I feel like this doesn’t work for most black women in general, if you’re tryna sleep with her. If it didnt’ work for Brett Favre, take a hint mah ninja.

          I mean, if she aint feeling you, she’s probably just gonna show her friends how desperately u tryna get at her, while laughing about it with them. #Nobueno

          But seriously though, where’s the logic in doing this as a single guy, if it’s widely unsuccessful?

          • Yoles

            WUT

            i’m gonna be honest since we are kinsmen and all.. i have been on the receiving end of some very lovely photographs of beautiful male phallic specimens. now did this make me run and jump on the piece? no but it did make me think long & hard about it about it… that’s a pro and that i believe is why men do it in the first place…

            on the other side i have gotten some pics where i’m thinking to myself, seriously? this is what you send to get a girl’s appetite wet? what is this trash? you couldn’t have lotioned it up? what’s up with the bad lightening? is it even erect? and so on and so forth

            • WayUPThere

              wow….that was uh…alot. specifically the way you described it.#TMI, But I do see that it isn’t as unsuccessful as I presumed. A 50/50 success rate….i get it now.

              lmao at u calling it trash though.

              • Tentpole

                At 1:51 am Yoles is entitled to do the TMI thing. Besides it’s a Blackplanet/Myspace thing you wouldn’t understand.

            • Classy6ft5

              ” seriously? this is what you send to get a girl’s appetite wet? what is this trash? you couldn’t have lotioned it up? what’s up with the bad lightening? is it even erect? and so on and so forth”

              LMAO!!!

              I CANNOT wait to meet you in NYC!!!!

            • Mimi

              Paynis pics are one of my favorite forms of entertainment. I always find the “let’s measure the peen against random objects lying around the house” pictures.

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                LOLLLLLLLLLLL.

              • DC1913

                LOL, next to remote controls n ish… that sir, is unsanitary LOL. Also maybe it’s me, but I don’t want to see that. Do dudes want to see up close pics of vajay jay????? Don nobody wanna see that. Show me some abs, a nice smile, a nice back but u can keep the peen pics lol.

                • Please, No Photos

                  “Do dudes want to see up close pics of vajay jay?????”

                  Yes.

            • Sula

              i have been on the receiving end of some very lovely photographs of beautiful male phallic specimens

              OK, when I read this I feel like I have been missing out on stuff and sh!t… why did that never happened to me? Lol!! I am curious to know who are the guys who actually send those pics? Are those guys women are already engaged with (in that case I understand) or just some random dudes? The latter would be muy disturbing yo! :)

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            I’mma tell you like I told my tumblr the other day: a man better not ever send me a peen pic and expect a nice reaction back from me. I WILL take said pics, color process them, and then distribute them to my girlfriends so we can all have a hearty laugh at his expense. chances are, I’ve seen one bigger than yours…..so you sending me this photo is doing nothing for me regardless of your size. but, his size doesn’t matter in this equation (big or unbig). we’re laughing. why? because he thought it was cute to pose with his phone and his peen. I dunno why men do this! women are not as visually turned on like men are, so a peen pic is not gonna get anything much more then a “meh” or “ooh” response, but it will be short and meaningless response to us lol. I laugh at these men because I think it’s funny they don’t really understand women enough to know this up front. Unless she asks for the pic, don’t do it.

            • WayUPThere

              See Liz’s reaction is how I thought most women reacted to it, but I guess u learn something new everyday

              • Sula

                The thing is I’m trying to rack my brain and see if any of the ninjas I know would ever have the gall to send me a peen pic… Ninja, ninja, really? Please eff out of here with that BS!! :)

              • WayUPThere

                And I was talking specifically about unsolicited ones

            • DC1913

              NOTHING worse than an unsolicitied peen pic!!!!!!! Sittin at work, *new text alert* look down at phone… audible ahhhh what the f^*& !!! now im fired lol

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                LOL!!!!

              • GirlSixx

                CTFU….

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Unsolicited Peen Pic: Bad. Solicited (directly or indirectly) Peen Pic: I ain’t mad.

              • miss t-lee

                Exactly…there is a fine art to this.

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                LMAO. Ah man. I am not mature enough to solicit a peen pic. If I did request one, it would only be for sh*ts and giggles with my girlfriends. *straight face*

          • Mimi

            re: Brett Favre

            Am I the only one who would’ve had a different reaction to the cellphone pic, if you were in ole’ girl’s shoes?

            If that was me, I am positive that I would’ve sent that pic to every one of my homegurls with the caption of ‘Gurl, guess what this ninja had sent me!’

        • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

          have you heard about the nigerian stereotype? no? because its not a stereotype. look at me now.

          • http://lizburr.com Liz

            LOLLLL. Step into my office…

            • Yoles

              Nooooooo Liz!!!!!!!!!!!

              you’re in rehab… just say NO

              • http://lizburr.com Liz

                LOL! Oh. Right….

              • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                60 hours? she’s allowed one slip up. right?

                • http://lizburr.com Liz

                  See Yoles. I mean….how am I sposed to just WALK AWAY from alla dis??

                  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                    yeah. see yoles. now liz come over here and let me show you something.

                    • http://lizburr.com Liz

                      LOLOL. DON’T PLAY WITH ME! I AM WEAK!!!!!!

          • TLB

            I just DIED at the “look at me now” sign off!

          • Shelby

            Dead…and ladies, it’s true. I haven’t seen one yet that didn’t prove that true. (Not that I’ve seen THAT many. But, hey, there were a lot of west africans in my doctoral program)…

            Except I’ve warded off all nigerians since they won’t marry black american girls…

            • http://lizburr.com Liz

              I was almost going to negate this statement, but then I had a flashback.

              As you were…

              • Shelby

                Uh huh! Bumped into that wall too many times…

            • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

              i’m 99.4% sure that i’ll marry a black american. i’ve only dated one african woman. well 2 but i wouldn’t call what we did dating.

              • Shelby

                Don’t underestimate that 0.6%! Will your family approve? And yes, I am all up in yours.

                I’m happy that you will (likely but probably not) prove me wrong :)

                • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                  it’s cool. yeah i won’t but i wouldn’t bet on those odds. yeah my parents have come to grips with the fact that i’ll marry a woman who’s not african. i think they realized that when my younger brother had a child with a woman who was from north philly. lol

            • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

              what type of doctoral program are you in?

              • Shelby

                I’m not in it anymore; I graduated in…er don’t wanna give too much info about myself… But it was a Doctor of Pharmacy program…

                • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                  oh ok cool. i’m the last semester of my doctoral program. (biomedical research with a conc. in cancer biology)

                  • Shelby

                    Hmmm…Cool. Cancer biology. I currently work for a biopharmaceutical company in their Research and Development area with a focus on Oncology therapeutics….

                    • Shelby

                      And with that, I’m sure I’ve narrowed myself down to about 10 black women in the US…

                    • Yoles

                      @Shelby

                      it’s ok.. i think you’re safe even if people did take the time to figure out who you are…

            • Sula

              I haven’t seen one yet that didn’t prove that true.

              I have empirical proof of the contrary… All we need is one to dismantle the myth. :)

              • ac dubois

                this right here is why i’m convinced that the Lord wants me to remain unsexed for life because if he send me another lil one… i’m marrying a religion

            • ac dubois

              i’ve seen quite a few nigerian wee-wees (and i’m nigerian) and its not even 99.9% true, more like 65%, give or take, but i feel bad for those fellas that don’t align with their brethren

          • DC1913

            LOL heyyyy bruh! *southern belle voice* lol

            • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

              hey. what’s up with ya?

          • Sula

            Brother, please… you do not want to open this can of worms. :lol:

            Spoken from an African (albeit non-Nigerian) sistren. :)

    • coldsweat3

      *dead* at “I dont like the look of it”

    • http://www.divinetranquility.wordpress.com Miss Patterson

      Hold on. Let me just dispel this rumor right now. My late grandmother told me the following at the tender age of 23 (swear to God): “short men hang heavy.” Now it took me a minute to get this because you know, I’m sweet and all. But it’s true. Don’t sleep on short men, you just might get hurt.

      • http://www.thelowerfrequency.com TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld

        Shout out to grandmoms… that’s one of those where, you just accept it, move on, and don’t dare ask any follow up questions.

        • coldsweat3

          @Miss Patterson
          Lol at your grandma. As Kevin Hart said We small but big at the same time.

          • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

            lmao @ “we small but big at the same time”

            #givemesome

        • Corey

          Granny is a genius!

      • littlemissgradschool

        I love it! My granny is just as candid.

      • V Renee

        Matter fact, what’s his number so I can call him and express my outrage properly? .

        Loves it! Your grandma knows what she’s talking about!

        Although I will say BDBs (big dyck b@stards) come in all heights. From the 5’6” to the 6’4”. I ? em all.

        • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

          LOL so I hear :)

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A.naturally

        Yeah, you need a few more people Miss Patterson. Biggest I’ve *heard* was attached to dude who’s 6’6. it was very impressive. Or so I heard…

      • Sula

        Grams knew what she was talking about.

    • Be On It

      Hehehehe, people say that, but it’s so not true. And truly, you have to factor in proportions. The shorter/skinnier the man, the more impressive an 8″ thickum handle looks. Put the same package on a small forward with thick thighs and it ain’t nothing to sneeze at, but you lose some of the wow factor.

      • Kema

        I feel you on this one! The biggest I have ever come into contact with was a tie. One guy was 6’8 the other was 5’8. On the guy that was 6’8 it looked like that was what was supposed to be there. On the 5’8er it looked like a m’fn monster! lol!

        • Princes_jasmen

          PREACH…….Thats is all

        • Yoles

          Be On It & Kema

          its not about how it looks… its about how it feels

          • Kema

            I know thats right! I was just trying to emphasize the fact that shorter does not mean smaller. Actually too big is not really pleasant.

    • Sula

      If a guy is small… he may be…small… sooo yea…

      Don’t let that fool you. I would like to call into evidence, law of conservation of mass (Lavoisier): “Nothing gets lost, nothing gets created, everything is transformed”….
      So what they might be lacking in height, they make up… in other ways…

      (and I have empirical proof). :)

  • AI

    I don’t hear too many women say an actual height preference. I tend to hear more that they want a guy to be a certain number of inches taller than them. I think it has to do with the uber-erotic forehead kiss (a la The Best Man). Not as erotic if you have to squat.

    Personally, at 5’7, I just wanted a guy taller than me if I could get it. Luckily, my husband is about 7 inches taller.

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      I wish somebody would give me a forehead kiss. That just feels uncomfortable. And wet in a place I don’t wanna be wet: my forehead.

      • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

        its supposed to be a peck. not an all out lick across your forehead. lol

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          LMAO

        • NinaFontaine

          OMG I was thinking the same thing! Wet forehead LIZ????? ewwwwwwww

        • http://twitter.com/#!/legitimate_soul legitimate_soul

          Yup. I’ve had a most-endearing forehead kiss from a crush when I was sick. It was the sweetest thing….

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          As a person who frequently gets licked on the forehead (I’m a dog sitter, not a creepy kinky person…and even if I were, forehead licking is too FUR) I can tell you that it’s a big difference. A dry peck is awesome, but if dude licks his lips first, it’s a wrap.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Yeah, just a peck. I’m a sucker for forehead kisses.

          (Yes, I know how that reads.. *shines halo*)

      • Sylph

        Forehead kisses are fine. Just a quick peck. I’m not fond of the pat on the head tho.

        • Carter

          Lol, why do people feel the need to pat short people on the head? Really, I’ve gotten this way too many times.

          • Shelby

            DEAD again! This probably hasn’t happened that much to me since everyone knows not to touch a black woman’s hair/head!

      • naturalista88

        Umm yeah, I don’t think you should end the date w/a wet forehead. Just seems too much like gross x-P

      • DG

        And wet in a place I don’t wanna be wet: my forehead.

        There’s a joke in here somewhere, but it’s late….I’ll try again in the a.m.

        • Corey

          I always assumed there were certain “exceptions” to the wet forehead rule. #IJS#

          • Be On It

            Ew gross! I’m with Liz – I don’t want to be wet on my forehead. Any dude whose actions result in that is getting my foot firmly planted on his behind.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        “And wet in a place I don’t wanna be wet: my forehead.”

        -That’s what she said.

      • http://www.divinetranquility.wordpress.com Miss Patterson

        I’m with Liz. I’ll pass on the forehead kiss. That goes for the pat on the head too. I’m not in kindergarten.

        Lips, please. Yes, those too. ;)

      • http://www.divinetranquility.wordpress.com Miss Patterson

        What if he puts *it* on your forehead, Liz?

        • Corey

          Apparently Liz’s forehead (among other things) is quite dry right now.

          • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

            hahahahahaha you aint right

      • Lina

        really Liz? the forehead kiss gets me every time. that was one of the favorite things my ex did, i would be putty in his hands. i love going on my tippy toes to get that forehead kiss. that’s why i wouldn’t like a dude shorter than me, 5’8″, which is somehow short according to y’all yesterday.

    • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

      i do hear a lot of women say they have a height preference.

      its cool though. i have one as well. 5’2-6’1.

      • Ivy St.

        I was telling my boyfriend this same thing this morning. Men have height preferences. It seems men prefer short (shorter than 5’7) women. I assume that ideology behind it is similar to that of women. Men don’t want a woman they think they can beat up.

        • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

          do you realize that 5’2-6’0 of women encompass about 90% of total women?

          • Shelby

            #OneChildLeftBehind

            • Ivy St.

              Maybe, but it wasn’t me.

          • Kema

            I only realize I have been excluded… again! Open that window to 5’1.

            • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

              well what’s one more inch? #twss

              • Kimmy

                Whew! Lol

          • Ivy St.

            I don’t get how your stat responds to my comment. Your response tells me the range and not the median. Your range does include my number but extends it by a good 5 inches. Help me help myself.

            • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

              well my preference encompasses most women so in fact i really don’t have a preference when it comes to height.

    • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

      EXACTLY! And I just blogged about this! About what makes a legitimate requirement versus a preference *cough* http://www.awordorthree.com. *cough*.

      if the average man is 5’9″ (as I pointed out on this very blog yesterday!), then as a 5’7″ individual, expecting someone to be of average height is a fair PREFERENCE. I’m not sure making it a requirement is legit. Like AI said, wanting a guy that’s taller than you isn’t exactly the same as a height preference or benchmark. Just like guys may not want a certain weight requirement, but they want someone they can pick up.

      • Deeds

        This is me, I just want a guy taller than me which shouldn’t be that hard cuz I’m 5’6″.

  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

    like i said yesterday don’t sleep on us shorter men. it really bothers me when short women always try to date taller men. what about us? we don’t get any love? as a short man i can protect a woman just as much as a man who is 6’10.

    you’re right. when it you break it down to the core women liking taller me is all about physical attraction. it is what it is. i have physical attractions as well. i don’t like weaves. i like flat stomachs and a good T&A ratio. look at me now.

    • Starita34

      O_O

      Sit yo 7 foot 18 inch ass all the way down!

      • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

        what are you talking about?

        • Starita34

          Am I c0ck blockin right now? Lemme pretend I’ve never met you Tendu… *walks away whistlin*

          • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

            i don’t know how this rumor got started. *shrug and walks away* lol

            oh and pssst. its Tunde. :-D

            • Starita34

              No, the Tunde I know is 12’11″, evidentally Tendu is on the shorter side of the scale. I see where you got confused though, they both got that Colgate smile ;-)
              *whispers* play along dude! It’s your ruse!

              • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                ahhhh you’re right.

                ladies and gentleman. i present to you, tendu!

            • Corey

              I still can’t stand you Tunde

              • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                why? i’m just trying to get y’all to understand my plight.

                • Corey

                  The only thing I’m willing to concede is that you tall cats look HI-LARRY-US in any fuel effecient vehicle!

                  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

                    you’re right there. i would say my next vehicle is going to be a truck but with gas probably hitting $5/gallon in some parts of the country by the end of the summer i’m good on all that.

          • http://www.divinetranquility.wordpress.com Miss Patterson

            WW? mad scientist 7 was at the three deez event? da hayle? STAH! did the house music put me into a psychedelic trance? next you’re going to tell me i had shots with some very smart sistas and a three named panda. wait…

            • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

              you ain’t know? i was by the bar the entire time.

              naw but for real i couldn’t make it. i had school and ish.

            • Starita34

              LOL, girl from all the things that I’m learning happened on Friday night that I don’t have any recollection of, it’s totally possible that Tree was there, but I sure don’t remember it!!

      • DanceHallKing

        Thank You!

    • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

      How tall are you?

      • Corey

        Go outside and look at the roof of your domicile….that’s chest high on him.

        • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

          for real? i’m like short tall person.

        • Starita34

          LMAO!
          *serious face* It’s true though.

      • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

        i’m 6’6″

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      Hush Tunde! You’re like 8 feet. :) Don’t make me climb up there and…. Oh excuse me.

  • Tezzybaby

    I think you are totally spot on with this entire post. At the end of the day you decide your dating pool. If you limit yourself (and that is exactly what you are doing) by putting all these qualifiers on your potential boo then you forfeit all rights to be salty about your lack of eligible mates. If you need a tall man to validate you as a woman, then guess what, it’s time to put on your big girl panties.

    • Tezzybaby

      I would also like to add, I think everyone has a right to a preference, I also have a right to think your preference is stupid.C’est la vie

    • LuckBALady

      What she said.

    • SayitWithYoChest

      I agree.

    • tezzybaby

      I would just like to dedicate this song to all the men below 5’9
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cadGGrYRhBM

      *Brooklyn Bouncing out this camp*

    • DG

      Best comment of the day (as of 1:30am)…

      SN: While I appreciate the song dedication, I don’t feel quite right being referred to as ‘Shawty’….it doesn’t sit well with my soul, I tell ya…lol

      • tezzybaby

        The song cracked me up in my inner being… but it’s all love and tingly feelings over here ;)

    • Lina

      i don’t think it’s that simple. here’s an example from senior pub crawl tonight:

      dude: pls tell me you’re wearing heels b/c you’re making me mad uncomfortable
      me: (looks down) eh, maybe 2″ boots
      dude: good. i only deal with girls who are 5’4″ or under so I don’t feel short when they wear heels or chicks that are 5’11″ or more so I can say I have a trophy on my arm.
      me: o.0 ok then, i was just tryna get to the bathroom…

      it’s just that shorter dudes have all these issues/requirements. what is a girl who will be pushing 6′ when out to do?! i can’t tell you how many times a dude has told me to take off my shoes so I won’t be taller than him. dudes limit themselves, therefore a height requirement can protect yourself from that. like i said up thread, i’m only 5’8″ so i can’t imagine what taller girls must have to deal with

      • Classy6ft5

        ” i can’t imagine what taller girls must have to deal with”

        Don’t cry for me (Argentina).

        My height has never held me back from attracting men/getting dates of any/all sizes/heights. Usually men who lack confidence won’t step to me anyway…and those actually verbalize that they are intimidated by my height? The conversation gets cut short REAL quick!

        • Jumping From The Ivory Tower

          2nd that! I

        • Around the Way Girl

          Co-sign. And what self-respecting man would ever ask a woman to take off her shoes, for THAT reason? Those dudes are losers.

        • Lina

          the dudes that i’m referencing are just friends, so nobody was stepping to anybody lol. eh, idk if that changes things…

          please believe there are no tears here, it’s just funny how people claim that women are the ones limiting themselves when I only see guys being wary.

      • Around the Way Girl

        chicks that are 5’11? or more so I can say I have a trophy on my arm.

        That was ignorant of him to tell you, but I will admit that as a tall woman, I kinda dig feeling like a trophy when I wear my heels. I let my imagination go and pretend like I’m this glamorous model walking around with my rich, powerful man lol. Of course, when the heels come off we’re both just regular kids in love, but the role playing I do in my mind makes me okay with being taller than him in my heels. Coping strategy maybe?

      • Siobhan

        Yes! shorter guys definitely have height requirements too. It’s not just from the ladies.

        I’m still hoping for my growth spurt (I pretty much reach my adult height at age 11) so I was standing up on a stool to demonstrate how tall I feel I should be. My guy friend (who’s no shorty himself) was like, at that height, “you would get no dick.” smh

    • Shelby

      Co-sign!

    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

      If you need a tall man to validate you as a woman, then guess what, it’s time to put on your big girl panties.

      this is far beyond applicable to things other than height. well stated.

      and you remind me of my mom talking about “put on your big girl panties”–she says it ALL the time

    • Sula

      Where do I sign again?