I’ve got lots of sisters, a couple mothers, and countless friends of mammary. All of them do things that I don’t get but I can’t attribute all of it to their womanness. For instance, I’ve noticed, both anecdotally and thru various scientific methods that I’ve created, patented, and proselytized that women are generally directionally challenged. And I’m aware that many of you could challenge Magellan to a speed boat contest. Go you.
Yay.
But I know women, family and friend, who currently live in the same city they grew up in who can’t tell me how to get from point A to point B nor can they tell me street names. And don’t even get me started on bypasses like I-285 in Atlanta and the inability to determine when one is driving north, south, east, west or any of the various other directions that Asians think up.
But…men suck at this too. Wow that was a long. The point of that was I have determined some things that women do – pretty exclusively – that I’ve wondered about over the years. Such as?
Glad you asked.
Such as…
(By the way, there are going to be points that are specific to Black women. Sue me, I don’t actually know any snowbunnies.)
1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?
Like I get it in theory, I think. Wrapping one’s hair keeps it…in place?. But I’ve seen some women who wrap their hair and I can’t tell any real difference between the sleep look and the non-sleep look. I also know women who never have to wrap their hair (full disclosure, most of them are mixed chicks). I suppose this one is rooted in pure evidence but like I said, how jacked up is your hair if ain’t wrapped at night? And why are you wrapping up weave?
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
I am man, hear me roar. I don’t have a regimen and maybe that’s the issue, but I can wake up at 8am, get showered, iron my clothes, and be ready to get out of the door in under 30 minutes flat. And that’s on a slow day. Going out is the same. Why in the F*CK does it take dames so long to do the same thing. I honestly don’t understand why it takes so long to pick out an outfit, take a shower, and then do your hair and face especially when 87.4 percent of you all won’t be happy with how it all comes out anyway. I know some women who can get ready very quickly and be dime-esque with little fuss. Then again, I guess if your foundation is top notch you don’t have to do as much work. Maybe this one is God’s fault.
Goooooooooo Jesus.
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
No. Really. Why for come you use soap for your face, your toes, your torso, your spleen, and then turn around and do the same with lotion. If I use the same soap and lotion on all parts of my body and my skin is nearly flawless (<—-100 percent gay) how come you don’t follow my lead. And if you DO use all those products and your skin still sucks, might it be time to make a change. Michael Jackson. All I know is that if I could do it all over again and go back in history and steal an industry, it would be women’s “beauty” products since I’m convinced none of them do anything more than what my Irish Spring or Old Spice does for me. Clean me, Seymour.
4) Why do you all care so much about details?
Again, I’m a dude. I listen when you talk but you do it so much that I get lost in all the names, dates, and places and other random nouns that you mention. Or better yet – and EVERY man understands this – when we want to tell a story we focus on the important stuff but women want to slow the story down and interrupt with the minutiae. I could understand if y’all were building buildings and or doing budgets. But I have had so many women swear that I don’t listen when they talk because I don’t remember some random musing made at 3am. We don’t love you any less because we don’t remember your 6th cousin 18 times removed Aunties best friend’s hush puppy shop owner’s nieces wood whittler’s name.
These are a few of things I don’t get (and why). I’m sure you all have a TROVE of things men do that women don’t understand too.
So let’s share today people and get some answers: what does the opposite sex do that you just don’t understand?
Sharing is caring.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka 40 P aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
For the VSBs/VSSs in the DC area: Panama Jackson is one of several hosts for a Blogger’s Happy Hour at the Park on 14th Street this Thursday, August 26, 2010. See the graphic below for more details on drink specials and other hosts, etc. If you’re gonna roll through make sure you let us know so that we can be on the lookout for you. Panama loves the kids.
Like the funk in Missy Elliots tight leather pants, I rise.
SMH…:D
Man, it woulda been TOO perfect if “still” was before I. I dig Mr. SoBo.
LMBO!!! You crazy!
“Like the funk in Missy Elliots tight leather pants, I rise.”
That triggered an olfactory flashback.
Lol. . . You just made my night
Aaahahahahahaha!!!! Whhhyyyy!? ‘the funk…I rise’….*tears streaming down face*
lol you nasty!
Answers:
1. I don’t wrap my hair. I have curly hair and straighten it once in a while. I feel like I’m committing a sin when I tell my fellow curly haired friends that I don’t wrap my hair. *shrugs* My hair looks just as good in the morning.
2. I take forever to get ready. I will admit this! Personally, I just don’t like to rush the process. I take long showers because I just love showering. Its fun, why not enjoy it? I also like to air dry a bit, which means I hang around naked in my room for a bit. Most of my friends do this too, even when others are in the room…-_-. That is mostly why i take a long time. I know a lot of people take long because of their hair though. Depending on the style it can take 15 mins or an hour to do…
3. Hmm…since I don’t do this, I’m not sure how to answer. I just use a body wash and any lotion that happens to be in the bathroom. I have no regiment at all. I actually own a bunch of products, but really who can do a 3 product regimen for your face every day and night. I try, but usually fail.
4. DETAILS MATTER. lol I hate being lost in a conversation. I like context and details. I have to pester my boyfriend over this allllll the damn time. I am a bad storyteller to be honest because I skip a lot of details, but when someone tells me a story I enjoy details. hahah I’m a hypocrite, sue me.
How do you wrap curly hair anyway? I can only wrap my hair when I straighten it.
1. don’t wrap my hair either. the other brown girls say it makes their perm last longer and keeps a bend in their hair. ive always been laissez fair with my hair so i just accepted it for what it was in the morning. and a couple months ago, i just cut that shit off.
2. i agree with you and the post too. i take long showers because showers are fuckin fun!! they’re amazing actually. lol. and i don’t take long after that because to tell you the truth…either u got it or u dont. not sure if i do or if i dont but what could i do regardless.
3. i use 3 different soaps! face, body, and lily. why? because my face breaks out (it happens: genetics, hormones…i dont know, damn.), because you cant use special face soaps on your body, and because regular bar soap is too harsh for lillies (just in case anybody didn’t know that, its true). and this isnt just true for women, men with vaginas need special soaps too.
4. feel privileged that you get the opportunity to witness me in meaningless but private conversations. i most likely dont want to share these shitty stories with anyone else because they are too stupid or have a big mouth. but i choose you baby!
5. Why does it take women so long to choose their meal at a restaurant?
co-muthaeffin-sign!
This is my pet peeve. I get rather annoyed waiting on a woman to make up her mind at a restaurant. What also irks the heck out of me is when they finally decide on a meal, they want to make special requests that makes it an entirely new meal.
Server: And what would you like ma’am?
*10 minutes go by*
Server: Would you like a few more minutes?
Girl: Okay I got it. *smiles politely* I would like to have the Chicken Broccoli and ziti please.
Server: Very good..
Girl: But um, instead of grilled chicken, can I have it with lobster meat instead. And can I have linguini instead of ziti. And if it’s not too much trouble, can I also substitute the broccoli with crab meat? And instead of the mash potatoes on the side, can I have the king crab legs dipped in spicy shrimp lemon sauce? Not the house brand lemon sauce, but the gourmet lemon sauce stirred in virgin haddock oil at approximately 350 degrees for 10.5 mins. Thank yooouu.
*grinning ear to ear like that sh*t is cute*
The REALLY funny part comes after all that when your food arrives and she eats off your plate the entire time.
Why do men eat like its their last meal.
In cases such as the one above, it’s because either 1) our food comes out when you all’s does so we have to wait, or 2) we’re trying to be polite…which means we’re waiting. We go out to eat, at least 35% of the rationale for us is to feed our faces.
Bravissimo! Spot on write up.
Mr SoBo…have you been spying on me at dinner?
This is my guy friends biggest issue with me…I tend to create a new menu…sue me.
I had to comment on this bc everytime me and all my girls go out to eat, we give the waiter/waitress a disclosure. I have tears in my eyes bc I can soo relate. I am guilty of this also, but hell I like what u got but I would like it better if u did this. thanks and smile.
Awe! This is me.
I’m very indecisive when it comes to choosing a meal. I don’t why.
I try to do better.
As for myself, it take me a while to order because… I am a nutritionist. Therefore, when I am reading a menu, I am mentally calculating how many calories a meal has and which one would be the healthiest option. I often ask for substitutes, like a side of fruit instead of french fries, but I don’t get ridiculous like in the given example. However, If know the restaurant we’re going to and they have an online menu, I’ll review the menu in advance and save my date the torture of having to wait on me.
That’s just how I roll, so deal with it!
Ditto. I’m counting calories and ish!!! if restaurants would put this stuff on the menu I’d do better.
but usually not on food. I have a loping list if dislikes so there usually isn’t too much fir me to choose from to start off with.
On the other hand I am indecisive
That’s what I love about NY. Restaurants now have to have the calorie count on the menus. Smaller ones don’t and some of the really fancy ones don’t have it so you have to be smart, but a trip to Applebee’s or Olive Garden no longer involves trying to figure out if their salad is really a salad or if it’ll somehow be 1,000 calories.
As for taking a long time, I used to take a little while to pick, but now I tend to go to places where I know the food is good and just pick almost anything. I’m rarely disappointed.
because i love food. and i love to try new food. and if there is a possibility there is a secret treasure of cheesy meaty saucy goodness hidden on that menu somewhere waiting to award those willing to search, then i shall search.
1 and 2 should go together. If you wrap your hair it should be ready for action or close to it when you wake up.
Having a closet full of clothes yet still having nothing to wear has led me to cursing out a handful of women.
I also have always had a problem with women asking me what I am thinking all the time. I give so much in effort, patience, and time that I should at least be able to keep my thoughts.
Women also seem to excessively hate.
“Having a closet full of clothes yet still having nothing to wear has led me to cursing out a handful of women.”
we’ve worn that stuff already…..we have clothes just nothing we want to wear.
What about the stuff in the closet that still has tags on?
A piece of clothing probably still has tags on bc we don’t have anything to match it. Like a really cute top we had to have but we don’t have the right bottoms or a skirt w/o the right top, or a dress but not the right shoes….
oftenconfused answered that question perfectly!
Cosign. It’s a problem, actually.
And women have their nerve gettin’ on us about being “matchy-matchy” preferring we simply coooordinate. Come to find y’all can’t compromise and do the same thing
I see your logic for 1&2 but I sleep wild so I wrap my hair (or just tie it down) so it’s not all over my head when I wake up. It doesn’t keep it in any style per se. So I still end up styling it unless I rock a ponytail like today.
About the “having a closet full of clothes and having nothing to wear” …
girls like wearing what makes them feel good at the moment, at least I do. And sometimes, I look at my closet, and everything is screaming some variation of the word “dull.” There is nothing like forcing yourself into a “dull” outfit, then going out. Setting oneself up for a party pooping night.
I wrap my hair at night because I don’t want my $85 dollar-a-bundle-indian-virgin-remy sew-in hair weave that took my stylist six and a half hours to finish and cost $400 dollars to do, to get all matted and ratty looking!
BTW, this is my first time commenting on VSB.com!
welcome!!!
I see those price figures I had a Terry Crews/Everybody Hates Chris moment.
That’s 42 cent worth of milk!
I counted $4.15 worth of weave in the shower drain this morning. Money is tight. Can you dry this out,and put it back in?
My girlfriend washed six cents worth of Kemi oil off her hands this morning.
I hit the roof when my baby tossed a jar of Shea Butter that still $0.17 worth of product left. She seems to be oblivious to the recession.
OK, so why am I just now seeing this exchange between you and P. ???? Still funny as he!! all the same…….LMAO
I wrap my hair at night because I don’t want my $85 dollar-a-bundle-indian-virgin-remy sew-in hair weave that took my stylist six and a half hours to finish and cost $400 dollars to do, to get all matted and ratty looking!
Co-sign and wondering where do you get $85 dollar-a-bundle-indian-virgin-remy sew-in hair weave and do they ship?
Dang!
I am in the wrong business!! I need to open a Korean hair shop pronto!
exactly!
liquor/food..&/or..hair..&/or..clothes= $$$
This isn’t just true for people with weave.
I have locs and I don’t need them to be picking up the lint from my pillowcases, rubbing against each other and getting fuzzy or worn in places (like those people who you can tell wear scrunchies or headbands all the time so their hair breaks off).
One of the guys I talk to at the moment has locs as well and it’s nice that we BOTH take a moment before bed or ______ to wrap our hair up.
That’s another one for the list. Women can spend triple figures and up on some buuulllll-sh*t! Ain’t no reason things like hairdos and bags should be the price of a used Nova for sale at a vacant lot.
I’ve noticed that the sistahs that typically wrap their hair at nights, usually have thier hair processed. They tend to be the same ones that refuse to go out when its raining or humid.
I don’t usually see natural haired sistahs wrapping their hair at nights, unless they happen to have a fresh style that they are trying to preserve.
I never understood the multiple bodypart specific soaps and lotions either. When will women wake up and realize its all marketing ploys?
@Mr SoBo:
Every single natural haired black woman that I know wraps her hair at night. That is how she keeps her natural hair so beautiful. I mean, who wants to wake up in the morning with split ends and shit?
@Cincinnati Diva
My hair be natural. Why for come my ends don’t split and shyt?
#DEAD
@SoBo, Everyone’s hair is different. Plus, I wonder if you wrapped yours if you’d like the quality of it when it’s wrapped than otherwise.
Every single natural haired black woman that I know wraps her hair at night.
I have natural hair and don’t wrap my hair, but I have silk sheets. It does the trick:)
YES! I keep myself a silk pillowcase.
Every since I was a little girl, as girly as I was and as pretty as I always wanted to look, I’d compromise it all for a good nite sleep and that meant nothing on my head. I remain the same way to this very day. I just can’t do the wrapped hair. *shrug*
Pretty much.
Sometimes I just fall asleep with no wraps etc… I don’t mind split hairs that much… I guess hair is not that important to me after all *hmmmm*
I’m natural and I wear a satin bonnet AND I sleep (and travel with) a satin pillowcase. I suppose that when my hair is twisted up, the bonnet is not necessary, but it’s habit. And I’m single. If I weren’t, I’d adjust accordingly. But if I were tryna rock any kinda “out” style the next day (fro or puff), the head wrap definitely goes on.
Natural sista. I don’t wrap my hear…I sleep with a silk scarf. Me attempting to wrap up my perfectly curly fro from Bantu Knots would completely waste the 4 hours it took to put them in.
Read my comment below and be amazed.
imma have to disagree on the soap thing. the parts of the body with oil glands and the parts without don’t neccessarily need the same soap. the soap i need to degrease my face would be drying on my body. if i were to use a moisturizing soap on my face and chest, it would give me blackheads and zits. so 2 soaps!
as far as the hair- natural and i don’t wrap it up. just put it in a bun on top of my head. i never wear it loose to sleep though because it would get all over my face or wrap around my neck and choke me.it just gets in the way
Different women wrap their hair for different reasons but the main reason is preservation. For processed hair, you wrap it at night so that it doesn’t become tangled, matted and messy. Also, if your hair is processed it needs extra attention, moisture and strength and laying on a cotton pillow can suck all of that right on out your hair follicles. That’s why those wraps are usually a satin or satin-like material. Alternatives are the satin bonnets or having a satin pillowcase to get around the wrapping. For natural sisters, like myself it’s the same thing. We’re preserving for different reasons but it’s preservation non the less (keep from lent getting in the locs, or maybe to keep a fresh style in place).
Now as for the lotion. The different products are for different skin types. There are products that are too harsh for the face and products that won’t cut it for the body. And because of all the things that we do to our skin (make-up, perfumes, waxing, shaving, etc) the different parts of our bodies are made up of adapted skin types. That’s all it is. Some women are lucky enough to just have cooperative skin that need very little. Others have to take the time to take care of out skin the way it needs to be taken care of, where it needs to be taken care of.
wrapping hair
I’m fully black and with my hair texture, if I don’t wrap it, when I wake up my edges are frizzed and ill have to add heat to it to straigten it back out and it keeps the bounce to it after a fresh doobie. Lol.
Wrapping weave? Its the same pretty much. It keeps the curl at the end, the bounce, the doobie. To me, its easier to maintain when wrapping it and its less time in the morning when getting dressed. U just comb it down and style as needed.
As for the directions, I never understood why chicks can’t give directions from point a to point b esp if u’ve lived in 1 place for a certain amount of time. God forbid something bad happens, kidnapping or ya car breaks down. How the hell wud u get home? I’m great with directions!!!! Luckily I won’t have that problem.
So on the wrapping hair issue
I’m black (and I have natural curly hair) sometimes I wrap my hair and other times I don’t. What I have learned is that “our” hair, its typically more dry than that of other races. SO wrapping your hair with a silk scarf, bonnet or using a satin pillow case helps retain the moisture in your hair. Which helps the hair maintain the style, shine, body and overall good look. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but brothers really need to be supportive of the “hair wrapping”. Where as other cultures wash and dry their hair daily – we wash weekly (or every two weeks) so its essential for us to keep our hair looking tip top in the mean time.
Trust me there is nothing worse than a woman (any woman) who is frustrated because her hair is not looking the way she wants it to or acting ‘right’.
To answer your #3 question. PJ-you know how you touch a girl and her skin is the softest of softness? That’s why. *shooting star* the more you know. Skin care is sooo not a game.
Agreed! *hearing music for “The More You Know”*
Why come women speak in codes, why can’t you just be straight forward?
Ouch. I’m so guilty of this…lmao.
as posted by eff yo couch on August 17, 2010 at 1:08 pm
On of my favorite lines is telling a chick that, I’m already involved but I’m unhappy. This whole line is a lie, because I’m single. I usually drop this line after taking them on a nice date and saying all the right things. Like I said this works well on desperate females … mostly the ones that will fall for a guy with a nice smile.
This works because females respect me more for telling the “truth” about me having a girlfriend. Second, they already view me as a nice guy and since they’re so desperate to find a man, they have a hard time of letting me go … and don’t let me get a chance to lay the pipe … because then it’s a wrap. This also works in my favor because since they believe that I have someone, I don’t have to spend a lot of free time with them. This works just like Champs “Busy man” line.
And when I get tired of them, I use the line that I want to make things work with my Girlfriend and that I can’t be fooling around with you anymore.
you want straight forward???
*insert legitamate use of legitamate soul’s side eye here e_O
Quoting Wu-Tang:
“…cause she’ll watch you, let you play yourself and all that and then she’ll take you to court! That’s why she the Inspectah {Deck}”
LMAO @ e-sister Miss Keisha “bombing atomically…” *scratch* You best protect ya Neck!” *echo*
*snickering* Come on, Eff Yo Couch, she got you on that one, sir.
Daaaaaaayyyyyyyyuuuuuuuummmmmmm
***** Please add to the list PJ, “Women Do Not Forget ISHT”, as evidenced by this comment by the mahvelous “keisha brown” (my e-girl 4life)….this VSS done did her homework & then some….and to that end ummm eff yo couch, this is what has come to be known as the “KERPOW”…and for doing the research & all of dat, *this one’s for you keisha bnrown****VSS fist bump, high five, and even some of Wu-Young’s Negro Hand Jive, carry on, mi love ya like pepper shrimp and tamarind balls ….that is all
O_O
LMAO
\_______/
here lies So Flyy… completely MURKED by keisha brown.
Dayum, homie. Citations and shit. Let it be known you ain’t gettin sh*t past KB.
wooooooooooowwwwwww *Flavor Flav voice*
Damn! I’m impresses yet scared. Remind me to never say anything incriminating on here.
@keisha brown
(CNotes saluting Keisha Brown)
*takes of cap, bows low to the ground*
Girl, you musta been a English major!
Judge Keisha Brown presiding…and she’s naked under that robe lol
*__* K.O!
You better tell it, Tellie Mae!
@Keisha B *edaps*
I’m sorry eff yo couch, what were you saying? BWAHAHAHAHA!
Keisha you are my Shero! #applause
“You screamed I’m lazy, you must be crazy, thought I was a donut you tried to glaze me”! #Rakim
thanks for the e-luv and specifically the following:
song quote to a hype tune
the longest dayum in the world
VSS fist bump
high five
Wu-Young’s Negro Hand Jive (my hands are tired now)
pepper shrimp and tamarind balls love
the original sideeye
coffin/tombstone
the official truth on kb (i am my mothers daughter)
flava flav’s wow
being impressed and scared (no need to be scurred of me)
salutes
hat-less bows (majored in criminology/sociology)
calling court to order and sharing my wardrobe secrets (how dare you sfg..lol)
the special starry eyed face
reminder that i have another nickname as given to me by fellow vss’
edaps
and temporary title of shero and the applause (pause).
sometimes all you gotta do is use someone elses words to prove your argument. #allidoiswin.
got 3 weddings this weekend and RFP’s comin out my bootay..so imma be ghostface/sporadic for the week).
miss y’all and have a great one!
ps: apologies to legitimate soul for misspellin her username in my original post.
“ps: apologies to legitimate soul for misspellin her username in my original post.”
^It’s all love, Sistren. No worries!
Because if we kept it real you couldn’t hang . . no offense : )
Guys don’t take honesty from me well. Also when there is a man in our midst, my girlfriends tend to leave them flabbergasted. Take the code speak, we dont want to hurt your feelings.
This is only an issue in one of two cases: the VSS is overly rude or the VSB is overly sensitive.
Basix…b/c I appreciate a woman telling telling me the real and keeping it extra funky so I don’t waste my time.
Because if we kept it real you couldn’t hang . . no offense : )
Guys don’t take honesty from me well. Also when there is a man in our midst, my girlfriends tend to leave them flabbergasted. Take the code speak, we dont want to hurt your feelings.
Man oh man oh man. I could write an essay, no a THESIS on my disdain, my pure hatred of the head wrap! My most recent ex had looong sister locks or whatever, and she’d wrap her hair every single friggin night. I thought one of the side benefits of dating a natural-haired chick was to enjoy freedoms that the permed counterparts had problems with e.g. riding with the top down. Fooled me!
And because she, the natural hair expert!, could never give me a proper, satisfactory answer as to why she transformed to from looking like a goddess with luscious locks to looking like a p—- I’d throw them away, hide them, beg, and none of it worked. The most awkward thing ever is interrupt the post-pleasuring pleasantries with, “BRB, need to wrap my hair.” WTH?!
Nothing you could ever do can get rid of a black woman’s hair wrap. It’s like roaches; an atomic bomb could hit, but it’ll still be around!
@Courtney
I’m with you. If there is any more of an almost mood killer, it is the pre-coital head wrap interruption. I don’t know about anyone else, but when its time for the ‘get down, get down’, I want to see hair. I want to see the hair cascade on the pillow case while she’s on her back. I want to see it lay on her shoulders or poof outwards if its natural as she jockeys away. I want to admire it as it all falls on her neck and back as I’m holding her hips from behind. Furhermore I want to PULL IT!
But nooooo, it seems like many sistahs think the runaway slave look is whats hot and sexy. They’ll have a nice pair of boyshorts or a lovely come fcuk me bra & panty set on…..and from the neck up, look like stunt double for Aunt Jemima. Talkin’ bout, “I don’t want to sweat out and mess up my hair”. If it wasnt for the fact I have a unaturally voracious s*xual appetite, it would be flacid city up in this mofo.
Thank God i wrote my comment before this one or else they’d think I was pandering..
and I don’t know how to do that..
You said exactly what i was thinking..
well said…
#dead @ “But nooooo, it seems like many sistahs think the runaway slave look is whats hot and sexy. They’ll have a nice pair of boyshorts or a lovely come fcuk me bra & panty set on…..and from the neck up, look like stunt double for Aunt Jemima.”
I wish you could favorite comments on vsb. lol
Mr SoBo,
I am thru with you on this day!! I keep LMBO at your comments!
…That is why I let my man play with my hair (cause I like that too), then when we’re over and it’s time for sleep, it’s time to wrap the hair up!!
^^
They’ll have a nice pair of boyshorts or a lovely come fcuk me bra & panty set on…..and from the neck up, look like stunt double for Aunt Jemima. Talkin’ bout, “I don’t want to sweat out and mess up my hair”.
This sh*t right here ninja…this sh*t right here… just made my morning…
This is why I look forward to your posts, Mr SoBo! “Furhermore I want to PULL IT!” I love it! Reminding myself to never incorporate the run away slave look into my lifestyle…
Are you both telling me that sistas are wrapping up their hair before getting busy? What??? As a permed sista with incredibly long hair (all mine) who does wrap it at night I can’t fathom stopping my hubby & reaching for my satin cap. Although I do admit I will clip it up or pony tail it when I’m….well you know…
@ mr. Sobo.
I get what you’re saying about the visual but the next morning/day when y’all (preassumably) go out you want her to look put together and quickly no less. How she’s supposed to do that when you just made het sweat her $80+ perm out and her hairvis standing up on her head. Are you offering up some $$$ so she can call Letitia her beautician?!?!
@Oftenconfused
Rubbish, woman. Thats massa talk.
Perspiration is a natural occurence. If one has to go to great lengths to avoid natural events from occuring to preserve something unnatural such as permed hair, thats more than enough reason to get rid of the processed hair.
Chicks with perms are missing out on life for the sake of vanity. Reluctant to go outside when its humid, can’t sweat during coitus, can’t go swimming in the pool or beach water out of fear their hair will get wet. Apparently looking good on the streets is more valuable than letting go in the sheets and enjoying all earthly delights.
So stop crying about your perm, just get on top cause its your got damn turn.
You’re assuming…
I have a perm, but have been known to go to the beach after the hair salon because it was JUST that pretty outside..
I don’t like missing out on experiences because of my hair. That’s just the way I’ve always been…
I wear elastics as bracelets, because if anything happens, then a ponytail works..
I guess this depends on the hair tho, because when my hair gets wet, it gets wavy..
i know PLENTY natural chicks that don’t wanna go outside when it’s humid.. and dont let it be drizzling outside, because the thing they put to emphasize the curl will start dripping cloudy tears..
but alas, there are exceptions to every rule..
@Nick@Nite
I think it goes without saying that I am making a general statement and it should be understood there are exceptions to any rule.
My new Boo told me just last week – right before he asked me to be in an exclusive committed relationship with him – that he first knew I was “the one” when it started raining at the Sting concert outside and I took it in stride.
As a season ticket holder at Chastain Park for concerts, he claims that I was the first woman he dated that didn’t run for cover screaming “my hair” when the rain comes or when we ride out in his convertible.
I don’t think men expect a woman’s hair to be perfectly coiffed all the time, but they do expect life and your relationship experiences not to be dictated by his woman’s hairstyle.
@The Frog Princess – Cosignage. Bless your heart.
Let the church rejoice in celebration of sister The Frog Princess’ expounded clarity and wisdom.
Can I get an amenz? *amenz*
There it is.
Now,..if you will all turn with me to the book of Weavealations, chapter 6 verse 23….
In the name of all that is holy and natural, repeat after me.
“Satan, I rebuke thy perm! Guide me from thine wicked weave!”
You have truly lost your mind today- lol
*Congrats on the new boo asking you to be in a committed exclusive relationship with him and what not , but really he knew you were “the one” ….**** this made me a little verklempt….
Cosign. I can’t put ish on my head to go to sleep…and if my ninja doesn’t pull my hair I’m going to sleep. lol
Then tell her that Mr Sobo! geeez! wake up men… real life ish!
I kno you guys want a certain type of hair from us and guess what? You need to luv us for who we are. PERIOD! seriously.
We do our hair trying to look decent, sexy, right, etc, etc
but theres always something else… no wonder Naomis losing her hair!
@lola289
“I kno you guys want a certain type of hair from us and guess what? You need to luv us for who we are.”
If many women loved themselves for who they are, there would be less perms and more afros.
Hate me now.
I love myself! No perm, either But, Mr SoBo, my Afro looks crazy. Puffy on the top, something I can’t describe on the sides and straight in the back. What’s a girl to do?
Rock some braids and this is all avoided. LOL! I’m transitioning now into natural hair and my hair stays in braids. Since my man used to have hair, he’s more concerned about me wrapping it up at night than I am. But when it comes time for the get down…no one cares about the damn headscarf…believe that.
Let go and Let God…ha
Oh I would never in my life rock a headscarf when it’s time to get down! I rarely wear one to bed, even though I am starting to think I am commiting a crime according to both genders.
But, the Afro and me are not friends. For a proper Afro, the hair needs to be styled in a rounded fashion. One can’t have a shag in the back, and call it an Afro
Texture, you know…
If this is indeed true, please direct yourself and your like minded brethren to Houston, Tx ASAP. I am so tired of hearin dudes say they love a woman “natural hair”, but when I rock my Afro dudes aren’t trying to see me. But if I throw on a wig or a weave and dudes are peepin me and giving me the lascivious up and down. I mean, positive reinforcement right? You can’t say you love natural hair and then almost break your neck when 18 inches of Indian Remy walks buy.
I think whoever is messing with you should experiment with NOT wearing the wrap and let you decide how you like her hair better. I’m CERTAIN you’ll be buying her another Aunt Jemima disguise kit after you see the alternative. Sorry, but I think this is something worth dealing with. Unless you’re into snowbunnies, who don’t need to wrap their hair that I’ve seen…
@KitKatCuty84
Head wraps are the anti-boner package. If unsexy is what you’re going for at night time, then go ahead and get your Underground Railroad look on.
When I go to bed with my woman, Im looking for Halle Berry, not Harriet Tubman.
After the nighttime rampin shop, if my lady’s hair is unbecoming in the morning, I’ll buy her a hat.
Problem solved.
Well if you don’t care about your woman’s hair, I say, go for it. Do you. I certainly won’t let my hair get f’ed up just because my dude doesn’t like how I wear it when we’re SLEEPING.
And, as I mentioned elsewhere, I’m pretty sure women aren’t the only ones who cover up their hair at night.
I never said I had a problem with women sleeping in headwraps. I only take issue with it when its worn during the ‘get down get down’. The only person wrapping anything up at that time should be me.
Yes, men cover their hair at nights. Some du-rag it up. Others tie up their locks. However, I would sincerely hope that no man is out there wrapping up his hair before getting down to business. Cause that would be madd, um,…..yeeeaah.
Women wrap their heads at night for the very reason you don’t want them to wrap their heads at night, so we can get to Halle Berry the next morning without a lot of effort, and how long before you’re asking, how long are you going to wear that damn hat?
LMAO! I never knew a person could hate something like headwrapping so much. Hey at least her hair looks good in the morning. I go to sleep sometimes without anything in my hair to control it and wake up looking like Sideshow Bob! smh
The question shouldn’t be what’s up with the hair wrap, but instead, what’s up with the hair? Most black women don’t realize that the natural texture of their hair is actually shiny and tightly curled, loosely curled, or wavy. They spend so much time trying to keep up with what everyone else tells them that they should look like that they end up killing their hair or severely damaging it, and then think that wrapping it will somehow help it hold shape or make it healthier. You ever notice how shampoo and perm commercials always talk about “healthy looking” hair and not actually healthy hair? You ever wonder why? It’s because the shyt that most women put in their hair is bad for their hair and also bad for them. The real deal is that people way before time immemorial were rocking natural, unwrapped hair dos long before we weren’t, and they managed to find mates. I mean we’re all here aren’t we?
“The real deal is that people way before time immemorial were rocking natural, unwrapped hair dos long before we weren’t, and they managed to find mates.”
…that might have something to do with the fact that EVERYONE was natural,and people really didn’t know anything else…i’ve just started rocking natural myself, don’t really know if i’ll keep it but the reactions i get from males has been…revealing…one even told me, ‘i wanted to get to know you ’till you went all ape-shat with your hair’…YOU might like it natural, but you’re one of a few…
sorry, supposed to read
‘the reactions i get from males have been…’
I feel you on that, but do it for you not for idiots. I did perm for 2yrs in college when i decided to go natural some dude straight up told me it made me look ugly, i laughed in his face and kept my natural, i never ice a shortage of men hitting on me.
@Yayer
First and foremost, on behalf of all Naturaliens, welcome sistah. Welcome. Embracing your God given beauty is the first step to true enlightenment.
*round of applause*
Let me stop joking before the VSS perm/weave wearers rally outside my house with a burning a cross made out of synthetic hair erected in my yard. But seriously, you should have Cleopatra Jones’d that mofo in his neck for saying some ignorant ish like that.
LMFAO…Mr. SoBo done put Hottie as his avatar. He wins at decisions.
@ Mr SoBo
thanks Mr SoBo, thing is i kinda liked the dude…
Not everybody’s going to like your hairstyle no matter what you do. This is natural and is a part of life. What isn’t natural is letting someone’s prejudices and hangups about themselves influence how you feel about your hair. Hair alchemy may work for you, but ask yourself this: given that everyone isn’t going to like what you do for whatever reason, what makes sense? Doing something that is proven to hurt your body and your hair, or doing the thing that’s going to preserve your health? Trust me, any dude that wouldn’t talk to you because of your hair isn’t worth talking to in the first place.
To all you {cute} natural-haired beauties who been marginalized, humiliated and isolated, I welcome you with open arms.
Just leave the head wrap at home…
This title. Oh, King Beef, you slay me. o_O
Before I get into the list, why is LaLa’s shaved head totally and completely baby hair? Chilli is TOO jealous of that artwork. Like her fo’head display ain’t got sh*t on LaLa’s diorama baby hair piece.
Anywho.
“1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?”
I can answer this two ways. Wrapping it gives it a certain shape. Kind of like a slight flipped-under curl without using curlers everyday. The “wrap” hairdo, I mean. But, also if chicks don’t have satin pillows, they usually use bonnets to keep the moisture in their hair. Our hair is innately dry as hell. It can get dryer than a woman at a Flava Flav peepshow.
“2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?”
It doesn’t technically. It’s probably because I walk around doing other ish…multitasking while I’m getting ready. But, as far as actual time spent getting ready? Not too long. *shrug*
“3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?”
I think we talked about this. lol I think women’s skin is different. I actually read that male’s skin is thicker than a female’s. Like ya’ll got more collagen and elasticity or some mess. While it does make sense that having different sets of skincare for men and women is all about money, I honestly think we can’t use the same ish. I mean, it’s the same thing with vitamins. We obviously need different levels of certain vitamins.
“4) Why do you all care so much about details?”
Guilty. *decides not to answer the question since I’m obsessing about the way Idris Elba’s lips move slightly to the left when he’s thinking about something and how his voice takes a deeper tone when he says a certain word, the husky layer of his voice that appears when he’s seducing a lady, his piercing glare and the way he walks with this indescribable coolness…*
Thanks for more succinctly typing what I had in mind. I’m detail-oriented. Sorry!
mmmmm I like those detail LMAO!!!!
“It can get dryer than a woman at a Flava Flav peepshow.”- But the visual on this, Flava Flav peepshow, can’t I swear, I can’t especially before breakfast…
Very true. I’m always doing something else while getting ready. Chatting on the phone, watching t.v., making a sandwich. That’s what makes it wake so long.
Girls wrap their hair up at night b/c it stops breakage, keeps your hair moisturized, makes hair easier to deal with in the morning and even keeps your skin clear (you know in addition to lotion and soap we also have tons of hair product). If it really bothers you buy your girl a silk pillow…it basically does the same thing.
yeah, my BFF always says to dudes, “if you don’t like my scarf, just leave now, ’cause if I sleep without it, you’re gonna leave me anyway when all my hair falls out.” I can kinda dig, it.
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
I always stop to dance or watch tv when getting dressed/ready. Seriously. Also, I prep slowly so that I won’t get sweaty. That’s what takes me a long time whenev it takes me a long time.
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
Cleansing the lady parts is different from cleansing the face… so is moisturizing it. I couldn’t imagine using my coconut oil that I use on my hair and body on my face- it would be all shiny and sh*t. LOL!
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
I’ve solved this problem (for me at least), I tell her I’m leaving the house now to pick her up when really I’m just getting out the shower (or finishing up a game of Madden soon to be Halo). When I call her is based upon how far away I am and in most cases by time I get to the house, she’s ready. Is she mad at me? Sure a tad, but her pissed-offness doesn’t compare to the fact that I didn’t have to wait for her in her Xbox-less living room.
How much do I love that you just mentioned Halo….
that’s a good look..
Actually a lot of hair experts say its good for ur hair to wrap it or keep it in a bonnet at night. Regardless of race.
Yup!
True true. And why are we acting like only women wrap up their hair? Last I checked, do rags and the caps made out of the same material were the male equivalent of wrapping their hair. Right?
1- I think Cheekie the nail on the head with this one. But, when I was with the boo I would wait until coitus was over and he was half way asleep before wrapping it and putting on my scarf.
2-If I laid out my clothes the night before it only takes my about 25-30 mins in the morning. If i haven’t then more like 45. When getting ready for a date you want to wear the right outfit that flatters you and spend a lil extra time making sure your hair and face are flawless.
3- Most women I know use body wash or soap and face wash. And during the warmer months a foot scrub. These aid in keeping our skin soft, minimal bumps on face, and toesies soft
4- They just do!
-How come some women have to put on a face to go everywhere? Like seriously, why? My college roommate used to put on a face to go to the corner store at midnight…WHY?
I can understand why it takes women so long to get ready …. what I don’t understand is why some women take so long to put on their make-up, but still end up walking out of the house look like Ronald McDonald.
Why do women always have to have on a piece of jewelry? Is it that serious?
“Why do women always have to have on a piece of jewelry? Is it that serious?”
Yes. Always have on my ring and at least bob earrings and my cross uurryday.
HA! Guilty. I don’t wear a lotta makeup, but I don’t leave the house without earrings – we will turn around if I’m in the car and realize I forgot to put on some earrings. I’m not as strict about lipgloss, but I prefer to be wearing it. After that it is a necklace and/or bracelet. Not a must but I definitely prefer to be wearing them. It’s an easy way to look nice. You could be wearing jeans and a tank top, but if you have on lipgloss and some accessories, you can look well put together.
So true. You can feel naked without your earrings.
I sleep/shower in both pair of earrings, both rings, both bangles and my necklace (w/pendant). Not a vanity thing, just a habit thing.
1. Katt Williams talked referred to this in The Pimp Chronicles when he talked about having silk pillowcases for women when they came to his house. Sleeping on cotton pillowcases messes up their hair. Helps keep curls tight and keeps it from getting frizzy and/or tangled.
2. We usually have a lot less to do…but yeah, this one is more dependent on the VSS.
3. I never knew a VSS who used more than two types of soap, so I’m clueless on this one.
4. I imagine it’s the influence of soap operas, which have mostly VSS viewership. Each story (or set of stories) has to last 45-60 minutes.
Things I don’t understand about VSSs…ooh, I have one that I just can’t wrap my mind around: how is it that many VSSs use what VSBs have (mainly referring to status symbols such as degrees or membership in higher tax brackets) as prerequisites to date and simultaneously use what their own attainment of such things as barriers? There’s just something contradictory about that. “You have to have a degree to date me, but my degree makes me too good for you”. Como?
I agree wholeheartedly about this prerequisites to date thing. I am a 4th year doctoral student, and I can’t even imagine mentioning that as one of the qualities that would make me attractive or partnership worthy.
However, I am pretty, clean, and shapely. And I am an excellent listener, supportive, confident, loyal, and I can cook. I would hope my doctorate or lack thereof would not supercede any of those things.
I agree wholeheartedly about this prerequisites to date thing. I am a 4th year doctoral student, and I can’t even imagine mentioning that as one of the qualities that would make me attractive or partnership worthy.
However, I am pretty, clean, and shapely. And I am an excellent listener, supportive, confident, loyal, and I can cook. I would hope my doctorate or lack thereof would not supercede any of those things.
I confess, sometimes I wrap my hair.. but I’ll give it to Dash.. if it’s wrapped at night, then it needs to be fully “comb and go” in the morning.. that’s just the way that goes.. i don’t like looking like Aunt Jemima before bed.. especially if someone is over.. and even though I’ve been told it doesn’t matter, i don’t feel right for middle of the night chex if my hair is wrapped.. what’s he gonna grab? this purple satin scarf.. nah, i’m straight…
i’ll fix that junk in the morning..
I have a lot of soaps because I like options (that’s just body soap).. but we need another one for our face because the skin is more fragile’. Men can get away with harsh soaps. But women need things for wrinkles and all that special stuff.. And i’m sorry, but Irish Spring is harsh on my skin, much less on my face.. #GirlHeTrippin
My mom is the queen of “things that don’t matter to the story”.. just yesterday, she was saying something and i go, “this story is taking entirely too long..” and i started playing the jeopardy music.. she got the point.. i give you 5 minutes to get it out before i start thinking of ways to multi-task.. and 5 minutes might be me overestimating..
#HonestTalk
what don’t i understand about men?
i ain’t got that kinda time…
Real talk, the second my mom gets distracted from her thought, I start going “WHAT WERE YOU SAYING WHAT WERE YOU SAYING” so she can get back to it before she forgets.
My mom is the queen of “I start four stories at once so I end up forgetting all of them.”
You and I must have the same mom. That dirves me crazy! Im gonna start using the Jeopardy music tho. Good plan.
LMAO@ “what were you saying WHAT WERE YOU SAYING!!?”
that would drive me apesh*t!!
Lol my mom says “well to make a long story short” approximately 5.3 times during any story. Which of course is never short.
OMG, Nick your mom is my mom with the storytelling. I constantly gotta ask her, “but what were you saying about so-and-so”…and by that time, she’s on story 7a.
#HonestTalk
what don’t i understand about men?
i ain’t got that kinda time…
I was going to say the same thing about y’all. There’s only 24 hours in a day.
I have a better sense of direction than most men I know.
1. Wrapping hair keeps in place so it will look good the next day. It also keeps oils in the hair so it doesn’t get dry, brittle, or possibly break off at friction points. Most people’s hair….owno care who they are, look better after being wrapped. Plus, sometimes if you sleep in a specific position your hair will stick that way. Unless a person has a satin or silk pillow, the wrapping keeps the cotton from absorbing all the moisture and natural oils from the hair. Thicker hair (whether it’s coarse, curly) and really all hair looks better with the natural oils and moisture in tact. Also the idea that corse hair is the strongest isn’t true in some cases and the bends and twists of a curly strand of hair make it more difficult for the oils to make it’s way down the hair shaft and moisturize it. Thus it’s more prone to get dry and break at those bends and twists. That is not considering some who might sweat in the summer and the wrapping helps keep some semblance of a hair style or control for ladies blessed with thick tresses(poof city otherwise-poof can be cool, but sometimes it’ll poof in an undesired way-especially for thick haired ladies).
2. A. Because you look better when you take your time. You ever seen a Japanese tea ceremony? Yeah, you can get some LIpton and and boil a pot on the stove, but it isn’t the same thing. Sometimes the process is worth it (although I am not saying folks should take toooo long and be late). B. Some us think in the shower. The water brings clarity and cleanses the mind and body. C. Plus, some of us are not morning people and we are going through the motions, but not awake.
3. Because folks have sensitive skin and lady parts need special attention or special gentleness (less chemicals). Plus, in my experience, a guy in my life has friggin’ LOVED my soaps and lotions and butters to the point my ‘ish is used by him and I’m lookin’ at an empty jar of some special blend I bought by mail order like WTF??? e_O Ninja will bypass Jergens to get in my special blends. I see you doe’, Panny, with the flawless skin! Stay supple, my ninja!
4. It’s what we do. So much ‘ish would fall through the cracks if we didn’t. It’s the reason why you never run out of toilet tissue in the house, the gas light isn’t coming on in the car. and your clothes didn’t bleed and shrink in the wash. We holds it down. We remembered to get your favorite snack, brand, and flavor from the store too.
The first that comes to mind I don’t understand:
1. Why if your lotion and soap works for you, why you in mine?
2. If we bought goodies for both of us why you eat up all of yours and mine without attempting to replace it?
3. Why you claim to lotion down, but your feet are hurtin in the game?
4. Why you pick the worst moment to cut your toe nails….and why the clippings ain’t in the trash? Why they gathered some where like you trying to save em’. WTF? (apologies to the brothers that don’t do this)
I’m sorry you’ve even heard of males who do those things. The first thing I thought when I saw these four – and I haven’t gotten to thought #2 yet – is “who does that”.
B. Brown, That’s really good to hear
LOL@”stay supple my ninja”. I’ma use this soon.
^Please do! LOL
Your #1 is funny. My ex used to be all up in my body butter, body wash etc. I even felt sand in the tub once so I know he was used my exfoliating scrub. When I asked him, he just looked at me like an owl. Busted.
Number 1, number 1, number 1. And guys will make fun of you for the stuff you use but will be the main ones using them. And then not replacing them.
@legitimate_soul
“It’s the reason why you never run out of toilet tissue in the house”
Brothers are sooooo guilty of not having toilet tissue. Ughh!!
I don’t wrap my hair. I was told recently by a gentleman friend that my bed hair was “pure lovely.” That’s probbaly because it’s much healthier now. My bed hair is a ‘fro, cuz my hair turns real Black at night. I guess I don’t wrap my hair at night because chicks who wrap it need it to stay straight and smooth. I usually wear my natural hair curly, so that point is moot. I could wear a silk bonnet, but I keep forgetting to wear mine at night.
You have a point with the soaps and men. I am usually amazed by ya’ll and how…great your skin is and I know ya’ll only have one soap and one lotion for your entire body LOL. Me on the other hand, I have cases of soaps and lotions. Mostly for the scents sake. Depends on my mood, yo. Besides, I don’t wear perfume, so I gotta get all my smellgoods in with the layering of scented soaps, lotions and body sprays.
cuz my hair turns real Black at night .
This made me chuckle.
Yo, why are all the comments italicized?
Anyway, I don’t understand the directions thing and I never will. My mother spent the first 30 or so years of her life in one city, yet I’m the one who always gets asked how to get around whenever we go back to Richmond. My girlfriend used to live literally two turns off of 1 (yes, US Route 1; you could see the highway from her house), yet when I’d say “I’m on 1,” she had no idea what that meant. My sister gets so lost that I don’t even know how she has a driver’s license.
I’m half-convinced that women are actually the dream architects from Inception and they just make up roads and sh*t on the fly.
Man everything was in italics like a second ago #iswear
Nobody is perfect, but how come women front like they don’t do the same nasty sh*t that us men do?
ex: peeing in the pool, picking your nose, etc
*burps*
Naw, we too fancy for that mess.
*silent fart*
What smell? *strikes match*…I dunno some women are pretendos. We are all human so it is impossible to say you don’t. I have baby wipes, febreeze and matches in my bathrooms so do you. In regards to the NASTY stuff men do. We don’t pee in pools, pick our nose (get a tissue!), put our fingers on our peens, butt, etc
Oh yeah: WIPE YOUR BUTT AND WASH YOUR HANDS please and thank you
…and change your bed sheets once a week too.
“We don’t love you any less because we don’t remember your 6th cousin 18 times removed Aunties best friend’s hush puppy shop owner’s nieces wood whittler’s name.”
*_______________*
seriously!? ‘wood whittler’s…’ you slay me PJ
Am too directionally challenged its embarrassing, everyone in my family stopped asking me for directions.
As a lady i have never understood the whole different soap for my differen parts of my body or lotion for that, i use one soap and one lotion and my face is ok.
I dont wrap my hair, i hate it and my hair is natural and all.
Great post P the 3
I can usually remember how to get somewhere, but not the street name. Idk why.
2. I procrastinate and it takes me longer to get there. Plus, I feel like the 2nd party is going to be late too. Most of my friends are not timely so why get in a rush to wait on them.
3. I like to wrap my hair, rather than wake up to a messy head. I hate doing my hair so once its in place, its a done deal. And my hubby.doesn’t mind since he knows the cost associated with permed black girl hair. He insists that I keep it fresh. I think that’s sweet of.him to understand.I’m not going owt to walmart with my hair wrapped up. I just wonder why someone hasn’t created a flyer version of hair wrap. Just saying.
4. I like to smell like something different everyday. Thus, I have a lot of different soaps. It’s kinda ridiculous but that’s my thing. It’s better than smelling like sweat and blue magic..Yuck. (encountered that today)
Why do guys have to make the noises associated with the story thru are telling, inserts wind sounds,whistles, gun sounds etc.?? That’s hella annoying.
i am so bad with directions! i have gotten lost in this hospital so much the janitors know me and just point me the right way. i have been living in my house over 5 years and only know how to get there 1 way. if you go any other way i cant help you.
i dont use a lot of soaps or wrap my hair at night but i am all natural. when i was permed the wrap did help my hair keep that prell hair bounce though.
my skin is exxxxtra sensitive so i cant use a lot of them and with the soaps being so mild i an usually use them on my face with no problem though i do use the pro active system off and on.
*** i have been living in my house over 5 years and only know how to get there 1 way. if you go any other way i cant help you.***
^^^^^ this is sad. There had to be some sorta of class or support group for this.
i’m surprised you use proactive,my skin is extra sensitive too and when i tried proactive i woke up the next morning with more pimples and different kinds of rashes …never again…
@yayer
it doesnt break me out so much as make my skin really dry after prolonged use.
so i use it off and on because its the mildest skin care system i have found to treat my occassional outbreaks
@oftenconfused
i would probably get lost trying to find the class.
#1 – My scalp is drier than Gucci Mane’s lips, so i have to oil it and wrap it or I’ll be makin it snow with dandruff. Not a good look..
#2 – Generally speaking, men don’t wear bras, Spanx, makeup, pantyhose or have to style more than one inch of hair. However, RuPaul said it takes him one hour to go from man to woman.
#3 – I have face lotions (one for day, one for night), body lotion, Vaseline for my feet,
anti-cellulite lotionsport sunscreen, eye cream (cuz sleep is for punks), body soap and face soap. I’m fancy, huh?#4 – I would rephrase this, why are men always trying to hide isht and not give up the details. *side eye*
“I’ll be makin it snow with dandruff.”
LOL, The Breakfast Club!
cuz sleep is for punks
-haha!
—I hate that Bald Headed.Shaved Edward Scissorhands/ shaved head for surgery look, it just ain’t right, and what do they do when that one side starts to grow back, I personally feel as if certain hair textures can rock it ie Cassie’s/shiddys concubine looks better, than Lalas..
– what a Dumbass how the hell can you live somewhere your whole life and not know how to give directions/st. names and some people nevver venture outside their side of town/neighborhood..smh , hell Mapquest that bit,
#1) Black women we wrap our hair regardless if it’s natural/relaxed/etc keeps your hair moisturized, it really depends on your hair texture etc. makes hair easier to deal with in the morning . Now what’s ghetto/ratchett is when women wear their Wrap/headscarf out in public, you have to understand that Sistas 70% of the time wear somethin’ on their head at night, we aren’t like “Becky” and wash hair every day and go to sleep with it wet.
#2) Black skincare products/lotions/soaps are a must! I use different soaps such as saltscrub to keep my body supersoft, and as someone mention cleaning downthere is different too. I am nevah musty or ashy..and trust me my 2520 friends were like your skin is sooooo soft. WE AGE BETTER Good Black don’t crack, compared to a 2520 girl whos’ 23 and tans/layout everyday but looks 45..does anyone know waht Stacey Dash uses I swear she’s the fountain of youth and Diane Carol too!
– Occasionally I take a min. to get ready because I may change my outfit, but usually I can get ready under an hr.
–and yes at times especially telling stories/events details matter, ie
Oh I saw him with her at the party…then theres Girl I saw Greg at the party with this little white 18 year old who is Keke’s step sis yep her daddy married a white lady and adopted her daughter, and Keke is greg’s ex-fiance, so I was like ohhh shid gon hit da fan, then Keke’s besite Lisa was there and I knew it was gon be on.. see how different the story is with details
sry major typos typing from my phone can’t really see
“I know women, family and friend, who currently live in the same city they grew up in who can’t tell me how to get from point A to point B nor can they tell me street names”
That’s me! I can’t give street names. I’ll tell you turn at a restaurant or something like that, but telling you if it’s north, south, or what not, nope. I just gave directions to a friend and I gave her the wrong exit to my street lol.
1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?
This is Traditional American Southern Black Girl 101. I have had scarves on my head at night for as long as I can remember. After my Mama finished being kitchen beautician, pressing this Ashley Banks/Tia&Tamera/Puffalicious extra long hair growing up, a scarf was put on my head to preserve the hair. If you don’t, You will have bed hair – hair that looks matted, or if you sweat in your sleep, your hair will lose its straightness (straight to curly – press time wasted). I started getting relaxers at 17 (Hallelujah!! I could wear a style and not go straight to curly/puffy!! I have a choice!). There have been times in my grown life during booed-up periods when I thought it was cute to go to sleep without my scarf… Uhh. No. The next day, your hair looks crunchy!! So, I “have fun” (he can play with my hair then) then afterwards, I wrap it up (and before, no pun intended LOL) !! Even when I don’t put heat in my hair and it’s in its natural curly state, I wear scarves to prevent matting/rats nest mess.
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
Uh.. Because we do. Here are some examples and yeah, I’m telling the business..
* You have your facial soap (Clean and Clear, etc.)
* Your “smell good” soap (Victoria’s Secret, Bath & Body Works, Etc.)
* Your body scrubs (for smooth skin)
* Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint or Eucalyptus Soap with all the writing on it(for that “tingly” fresh feeling on your skin, and it’s good for the sinuses in a steamy shower)
* Your soap for the va-jay-jay.. ‘Cause uh, you don’t put Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap on the va-jay-jay.. WHOA. You just don’t.
Dang girl! That’s a lot of soap. LOL. I used to bathe in that Dr. Bronner peppermint stuff as a kid. I don’t remember it being that bad…but maybe I was just weird.
usage of Dr. Bronners soap after a workout…a must!
Never used Dr. Bronner’s (whoever that is) but I DID use a Bath n Body Works peppermint oil bodywash one time without thinking. I immediately started wondering who I could sue. Then…I read the bottle. And it actually said “not for use on the vajayjay.” Oh.
I’ve always wondered why some women pluck their eyebrows into nonexistence, then draw some joints where the originals were….like hair just wasn’t getting it, so you gotta pull a Whoopi w/ a Mike Tomlin taper to get it just right. Problem is, it often looks a lil’ off….like, women doing this look surprised, suspicious, and curious all at once…
and this is the reason that I don’t flux with the Asians when it comes to gettin my eyebrows did cause they all seem to think that I want to look like kabuki or some ish…I do however visit the Indians(non feathered and dot only) for the eyebrow threading…it doesn’t hurt (well to me anyway) and they do listen when you say could you just clean them up, as opposed to the Asians and their standard response afterwards of “no wolly it will glow back”..WTF? and yes you may all find this to be too detailed, but WTF? I’m a woman…
I’ve been getting mine threaded for years now.. there is no cleaner, straighter arch..
it’s like your face was Bigfoot before, and now you look normal..
nothin like it..
why yes I agree Nick it’s the most beautifulest thing in the world word to Keith Murrray
No problem with eyebrow maintenance…pluck ‘em, thread ‘em, wax ‘em…I understand. It’s when said grooming goes too far, as in you no longer have brows, then you draw some back on your face. That makes no sense. Just think how strange it would be if you saw a full-grown man with a drawn-on mustache and beard. Sounds ridiculous, right??
Abso-freakin-lutely…I am not a fan of any one drawing anything on their face, brows, mustaches , nothing….
@bajanflchick
i do mine myself with a shaving stick, and they look good if i do say so myself…
Do tell, a shaving stick, pardon my ign’ance but…WTH is that ?
Threading FTW! Ever sense I peeped some salons weren’t changing that old arse wax and double dipping, and waxing pubes, legs, pits, lips, and face with the same vat of wax I happily went to threading. I have been doing so for several years. It’s easier on your skin, for us sensitive skin folks, and seems more hygenic. Threading also provides a cleaner healthy eyebrow that doesn’t look as if it’s a victim of alopecia. I hate a pencil line or half-cut brow!
Threading also provides a cleaner healthy eyebrow that doesn’t look as if it’s a victim of alopecia. I hate a pencil line or half-cut brow!- Amen to that..ain’t nothing worse …
To go further into the nighttime haircare thing… When my hair is straight and I don’t wrap it, it can end up with a buncha random bumps and curls that make it look less fresh, especially around the roots. This is partially b/c my hair always tries its hardest to be curly…
When it is curly/natural and I sleep with it out and free at night… Running a comb through it the next morning becomes a LOT more of a hassle. Keeping it wrapped and in place at night can keep it healthy in a lot of ways.
As far as getting ready… Yeah, there are a buncha things women do that men don’t… I halfway don’t understand why this is a question sometimes. lol. For instance:
-shaving
-hair-styling
…Wait yeah… Those alone can add a good hour and a half, depending on how much there is to do. And hair-styling is time-sensitive, since we want it to look fresh sometimes, and shaving… We could do it ahead of time, but that’s also time-sensitive sometimes, and more than that… it’s soooo annoying… You really have to either feel like it or have to, and in the case of getting ready for something, you have to, so there you go. lol.
Oh, and we have to organize our lotion collections so that we can find the back-of-the-knee cream just in case things get friskyI myself don’t understand the concept of makeup everywhere… But then I’m just the tiniest bit anti-makeup (not to the point where I won’t wear ANY, but to the point where I WILL glare at you if you’re wearing a completely different face from yesterday, because whoa). Ionno. I like my face. *shrug*
(Oh, and we put in so many details and names because sometimes saying Rufus Xavier Sasparilla and Andrew Andreas Armadillo is easier than throwing in a bunch of vague pronouns in a long story and making everything confused… Wait, I think just used Schoolhouse Rock for evil. #iQuit)
it’s a woman man
why ask why?
i can understand wrappin up hair…..try swallowin a loc in your sleep….
)*#$Y)#QY*$()(#$
i just woke up the woodland folks with my laughter…..vsb is priceless
hmmmm, i have a horrid sense of direction, and i got it FROM MY FATHER! so humph to that!
as for the rest, i have no comment…
*slinks back into the corner*
1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?
it’s been mentioned 1000x above, but I never put a scarf on before the sex is had!!
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
If we took as little time as you guys do, you would b*tch & moan – deal wit’it! We have all kinds of stuff we have to do before going out – hairdo’s, makeup, shaving legs & cats & pits, picking out which lotion we’ll use that night, change to a smaller purse, walk in our shoes to make sure they’re the right pair for the night… LOTS to do, lol
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
Some are just for cleanliness, some moisturize, some exfoliate – they all have a function.
4) Why do you all care so much about details?
Because someone has to!
Lessee here…
Why do women:
-have the nerve to want privacy as nosy as many of them are?
-dance in huddled circles at bars and clubs?
-insist on wearing uncomfortable or impractical footwear (heels and sandals) everywhere?
-expect us to clearly communicate what’s up with us yet we have to guess and catch hints from them?
-try to take their friends’ SO’s instead of finding a man like him for themselves?
-have their cleavage out and dare men to look?
LOL, I’ll take a stab at a few…
“-dance in huddled circles at bars and clubs?”
Because 75% of the dudes are too cool to dance and standing against the wall just ogling at the chicks?
“-insist on wearing uncomfortable or impractical footwear (heels and sandals) everywhere?”
I definitely don’t do this one, but probably because dudes are always saying how heels up your rating. See yesterday’s post, for example.
“-have their cleavage out and dare men to look?”
We evil.
Because 75% of the dudes are too cool to dance and standing against the wall just ogling at the chicks?
100% True. Or just ignore the girls altogether. I went out with a group of dudes last week and we ended up at the bar all night. They weren’t even hitting on the bartenders. Many of the remaining guys’ idea of dancing is to dry hump a girl on the dance floor. And that’s a no-no.
“-dance in huddled circles at bars and clubs?”
The amazing part about this is that it comes naturally when I turned 18 & headed to the clubs w/ my friends for the first time we automatically formed a circle. It’s like 2nd nature or something. However, the benefits are endless… in addition to what Cheekie said, the circle allows me to see all men coming toward my girls from every angle. We look out for each other. A simple head nod, cough or wink could mean turn around the boogie monster is behind you or dance like your life depended on it b/c this could be your future hubby. LOL.
“-try to take their friends’ SO’s instead of finding a man like him for themselves?”
One more… I don’t do this so I don’t know for sure but I’d guess it’s b/c my friend’s SO has already proven himself. LOL. You wouldn’t have to go through the dating process to find out if he’s a douche. You already know that he is/isnt. & most likely you know what he’s working w/ b/c a lot of women share that information between friends.
I’m confused here because I honestly don’t know one guy that’s seriously dated two friends. I don’t see why a guy would want to do that. You’d have to know that the friend (you left your girl for) is going to know all of your business from the jump.
Now if it’s just for the smash & dash….that’s something different.
But seriously leave your girl for her friend? Nah…..
I don’t think the issue is them dating but the concern is the friend chasing – or tryn to persue – her friends SO making things awkward.
We dance in circles to keep dudes out. It works. We also roll in packs to keep dudes away too. It works.
Wow, women are really afraid of men hollering at them….
No not fine men just the booglies
“-try to take their friends’ SO’s instead of finding a man like him for themselves?”
simple answer: triflin’ ‘oes.
iCan’t understand the thought process there, but then again I think that points to the larger issue that many women aren’t really “friends” with a lot of people they associate with.
in response to your #2, cause we ain’t Jay , we can’t just change clothes and go.
i dont wrap my hair every night. lazy girls should be smart enough to just get a satin pillow case. but ive also been told i have a different hair texture than most so i guess everyone cant do that…
1) I’ve been getting my hair wrapped up as far as I can remember…there are even pictures of me with my hair wrapped when I was three. Now it’s habit, my hair is natural, and I don’t do silk sheets/pillow cases.
2) Not me. I’m up at 5:30 am out the door by 6 am and trust if I didn’t wrap my hair it would take muuuuccchhh longer. But naturally it takes me longer when I have a show.
3) Regular soap on the nether parts are not friendly…at least in my case, neither is it nice to my face. Unless you want to be banned from la-la land while it heals from a soap rash or me to walk outside looking like I’ve been eating white powder donuts, leave my routine alone.
4) Because it shows that you’re actually paying attention to what is important. If I’m introducing you to my niece and after 5 years you still call her my cousin, why yes imma be a lil perturbed.
I never undersood why some women would shave their eyebrows off just to draw on new ones. When you chilling at the house and they are not drawn in you look crazy.
It is really baffling to me
1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?
I’ve been relaxed, natural and currently have locs. Wrapping prevents breakage, keeps the hair in place so, and currently so it doesn’t get frizzy.
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
I do typically take longer to get ready, but I can get ready quickly if I plan ahead. I need to lay and iron my clothes out the night before. Make and pack my lunch if I’m bringing it which does cut out my getting ready time. However, there are things that I can’t do the night before. This is just me, but I usually take a little longer to brush my teeth than most people cuz I hate the feel of plaque on my teeth so I move my tongue around my teeth to make sure I got it all. I like to be in the shower but I can cut it short. However, if I need to shave my legs that always takes extra time and I can’t do it before cuz I want them to be smooth for the day. This tends to be where the bulk of my time goes.
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
I can’t use the same soap that I use on my body that I use on my face. The same with lotion. It tends to be too harsh for my face, which can for breakouts or get irritated. Its true I’ve been to dermatologists and ish.
4) Why do you all care so much about details?
IDK I just do. I want the blow by blow, I hate half of the story.
I have a question, why are guys bathrooms so nasty?
I mean its gross. I remember when I lived with my cousin and he had some black gunk and hair on the side of the tub piled up from never cleaning it. I’m like ewwww.
No input, just dropping in to say I’ll be there Thursday.
Anyone else coming out?
I may, provided this sinus infection has left my body.
Aight. I just sent you a follow request.
Received. the MAN blocking twitter/iTweet at work sooooo i’m kinda silent from 9 – 5. LOL.
I may swing thru around 7′ish
I will likely be there.
Why do men wrap their do-rags so tight? I would rather you miss some waves than to have that line going across your forehead.
Why do men think its not gay to get your eyebrows waxed and call it a part of being metrosexual…**newsflash** It’s G-H-E-Y! ;(
Why do men complain about us taking too long to get ready? You usually appreiate the outcome. We aint you (a double negative seemed appropriate) so stop comparing us to you (How come men can get dressed and ready in 10 minutes and it takes women an hour…really??!!). You dont have to worry about your hair (natural, weave, wig, whatever…all that stuff takes time to shine,sheen, prep), makeup, which heels to wear, which purse, necklace, bracelet combo is going to bring out your outfit the most. All you have to do is get your haircut every other week, do your ’3 S’s’ (men know what they are) in the morning, throw on your outfit and your out the door. Stop complaining and accept it for what it is.
“Why do men think its not gay to get your eyebrows waxed and call it a part of being metrosexual.”
Flagrant foul. Any man that refers to himself as “metrosexual” and/or gets his eyebrows waxed is zesty. Flat out.
Same for dudes that rock coin purses (or any other kind of purse for that matter), shaves their legs, get their hair “done” instead of “cut”, sucks their teeth before each sentence, gets pedicures, still has a flip phone/sidekick, or doesn’t like football. #shots
……not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But… what if he has a unibrow? LOL. I don’t see anything wrong w/ a man cleaning it up. I just don’t want him to have the same arch I do.
But… what if he has a unibrow? LOL. I don’t see anything wrong w/ a man cleaning it up.
This is why hair clippers have attachments, so we can shave different areas.
Sustained.
Nah bruh…get to waxing the unibrow. It’s less maintenence and less evidence that you had one in the first place. As a woman with notorious thick eyebrows, I’m obsessed with making sure folks groom theirs. Hate unkept eyebrows with fire of a thousand suns!
we were alright til you talked about the pedicure…
I’m sorry.. i’ve seen too many dogs that shouldn’t have seen the light of day.. toenails that looked like the dude climbed trees barefoot.. heels that looked like they’ve been sliced and shredded with razors and THEN dipped in flour..
I’m not asking anyone to wear black polish, but haivng Lin Mei (I’m so wrong) get at them can’t hurt.. I’ll play footsies with him.. When his feet are cold and he wants to intertwine them with my legs to warm them up, my legs won’t end up looking like 50-lem cats used me as a scratching post..
Even better.. I’ll give him a pedicure.. at the house, all quiet so nobody knows.. I’ll draw the blinds and turn off all the lights.. shhh!! just get them feets done! PLEASE
you KNOW men don’t lotion them either, so the end result is a #FailAtLife.. a pedicure is the least you can do…
Please and Thank you..
but this topic is actually on my list of things to write about.. so…
SFG:
If his feet are jacked up, then it’s on him to take care of that, and that doesn’t require getting a pedicure. Nail clippers and a pumice stone will run you about $2 at Wal-Mart.
A guy having his lady do it for him is cool too I guess.
My point though is I just can’t see any manly man thinking to himself “OH EM GEE, I need to go get these feet done.” Then voluntarily rocking those little toe-spacer joints while his feet dries.
No.
My bad, that last one was for Nick.
Also, a man wearing colored contacts is unacceptable. I missed that earlier.
@BDot
thank you! esp if they’re blue…and the person wearing them is black…
A high school friend got contacts and visited the house at night. He looked possessed! I had to tell him, it wasn’t a good look.
3 S’s? I’m thinking shower, sh*t, and shave?
@Atypical…yes, but hopefully not in your order LOL
@BD…there is something wrong with that (shots fired). If you still have a sidekick and a flip phone AND you dont like football, you get the ULTIMATE side eye with the arms folded!
On second thought (I couldn’t resist):
-Why do women call us to get bugs? We don’t want to touch that s*** either.
-Why do women ask us infuriating questions at the most inopportune times that do nothing to help the situation?
Ex: “Well how did you get lost?”
-Why do women insist on some “me time” when upset, but then get mad when you don’t pay them attention?
-Why do women ask us to get their hair done, only to take it out a week later? Last I checked, it’s still a recession.
-Why do women ask us questions they (have to) know damn well we don’t know the answer to?
Ex: “How does my pedi look?” Me: “Uh….good…..?”
-Why do women come out to clubs in halter-tops, mini-skirts, pumps and pretty much any other attention grabbing garment they can find then say they DON’T want men approaching them?
-Why do women perceive each other the same as men do, yet act like we’re wrong for it?
@BDot
“Why do women call us to get bugs? We don’t want to touch that s*** either.”
Because 99% of the time, your male ego has to show us that you’re not afraid of anything (and we know this)
“Why do women come out to clubs in halter-tops, mini-skirts, pumps and pretty much any other attention grabbing garment they can find then say they DON’T want men approaching them?”
Most of these women are girls (mentally). They have much to learn.
-Point taken.
-The club things was a rhetorical question. Really, I think women that come out like that want to be approached….just not by 99% of the cornballs that jump into their face.
I’m one of the thought that if the right dude approaches you, the answer is always yes.
@BDot
“I’m one of the thought that if the right dude approaches you, the answer is always yes.”
You’re probably right.
“Why do women come out to clubs in halter-tops, mini-skirts, pumps and pretty much any other attention grabbing garment they can find then say they DON’T want men approaching them?”
I’m willing to bet that nine times outta ten, they really mean fug dudes with three teef. If a foine nicca approached them, they’d holla. They frontin’…
I’m directionally challenged and can still get lost in my small hometown. When I moved to a new city I rarely ventured off my side of town unless I was riding with someone else. I’m not really sure what it is because I’m easily confused on the campus where I work, where I go to school, and I stayed lost on campus in undergrad. It doesn’t really help that I’m self-diagnosed dyslexic and left and right mean absolutely nothing to me. Now that I have a GPS I get adventurous and try to navigate on my own but last night I lost my signal and almost lost my mind, but I eventually made it from point A to point B and back to A.
I wrap my hair when I’m sleeping alone or if my do is fresh (3-5 days out of the salon). I use satin pillowcases when I’m booed up. Sometimes, as other VSSs above have mentioned I’ll do the fcuk and cover, meaning after the loving and he’s snoring I wrap it up.
Showering, make-up, skin and hair care take time. If women just rolled out without attention to any of these details most men would complain.
Details make the story better.
I don’t understand why water is like Kryptonite to some men. The take super short showers, hate getting caught in the rain, and act like drinking it is an act of martyrdom. I also don’t understand how some men can spend countless hours playing the latest Madden.
Why do men try to fix things or put furniture together without reading the instructions?
Why do men refuse to ask for directions when lost?
Why do men complain about nagging, instead of just addressing the issue when it is brought of the first time?
Why do men say they aren’t ready for a relationship, but call/text/email every single day?
Your LAST ONE!!!
Homeboi, you don’t want to be in a relationship, WHY for come did you come by to see me and end up sleeping on my floor? You got a king bed at home! Don’t tell me you got jealous when the fellas said how good I looked.. You coulda had “awlla dis… awlla DIS!”
*does bodyroll*
Yep–been there a time or two! LOL
CO-sign…Don’t get upset at me talking to another guy after you didn’t want to be with me…talkin bout, see she really doesn’t really want to be wit me since she’s talkin to him..huh?
Homeboi, you don’t want to be in a relationship, WHY for come did you come by to see me and end up sleeping on my floor? You got a king bed at home! Don’t tell me you got jealous when the fellas said how good I looked.. You coulda had “awlla dis… awlla DIS!”
*does bodyroll*
—-dead at bodyroll—-
When a man says he’s not ready for a relationship, he’s not saying he doesn’t want to be with you…he’s saying he doesn’t want to commit to you.
I have hard time seeing the difference. If he doesn’t want to commit, then how does he want to be with you? Aren’t they one in the same? Maybe, I am totally off base.
@SFG
that don’t make the situation one bit better…
I ain’t got that kinda time..
yeah.. he’ll be strong…
*holds up Black Panther fist*
@SFG- I do believe we went over this on a post last week as well, it means he’s not ready for a relationship “with you “, however if you choose you can be his side jawn/jump-off/homey lover friend….until then…#FAIL …if only they could all be like CBG, right ???(wink wink) you & your e-boo
Oh yes I didn’t say I agree…that’s just how some men can be. They go through all the motions of your man: sleep with you, spend the night, day time activities but then say they are not ready for a relationship? I think that’s just a punk boy’s way of saying he doesn’t want to claim you as his woman.
*black panther fist*
Eww no! I wasn’t even speaking on the motions and stuff. Geez Louise.
I just meant, if you ain’t ready, act like you ain’t ready! Don’t be cock blocking, and doing daily checks! If you don’t want me, then don’t talk to me! Non-suicidal Fantasia
“Why do men try to fix things or put furniture together without reading the instructions?”
Most of the time, we can. Of all the things I’ve put together, I think I’ve looked at instructions three times.
“Why do men refuse to ask for directions when lost?”
I never got this, but then again I have a better sense of direction than anyone I know.
“Why do men complain about nagging, instead of just addressing the issue when it is brought of the first time?”
Oh, naw: women don’t get the chance to nag with me. If there’s a problem we’re solving it right then and there. I have enough problems sleeping without some issue with you hovering over my head.
“Why do men say they aren’t ready for a relationship, but call/text/email every single day?”
There are two answers here: 1) because we’re trying to get ready (this usually involves making sure you’re sane and worth the effort), or 2) because we’re trying to keep you at arm’s length…and/or keep our options open.
I heart your reply! *Walks away smiling*
“Why do men say they aren’t ready for a relationship, but call/text/email every single day?”
We men are very friendly, and daily communication is just the friendly thing to do.
We men are very friendly, and daily communication is just the friendly thing to do.
If you say so:)
Things the opposite sex does that I don’t understand
Go through a 2 hr ritual before they go to bed.
I don’t get all that stuff women do before they go to bed. What’s worse is when you’re in bed with your “john harder than rockwilder” and she is taking all day to get to bed.
Want their boyfriend or husband to go to bed the same time they do.
I never understood this. If I’m ready to go to bed I go whether you are ready or not. Why do I have to go to bed the same time you do?
I don’t see this as much now that I’m older but, creating a guy’s personality based off what you initially see or after one conversation.
I’ve seen so many women think they know a guy based on how he dresses, what he drives, or after one conversation. Some women will write a man’s whole story and really truly believe it and they really don’t know anything tangible about him.
Why do women go to a party, club, etc. 15 deep in a 2 door Ford Focus?
Why women with tig ol bitties don’t have @ss and women with donks don’t have tig ol bitties?
@Humble_One
“Why women with tig ol bitties don’t have @ss and women with donks don’t have tig ol bitties?”
(I know the VSB committee will crucify me for this statement) I can actually say that I break this theory. : )
@CNotes
I’ll 2nd that. I was told I have a nice balance,lol. Which is funny b/c I thought the girls were on the small side.
@CNotes and LaBakir,
Don’t worry, ladies. Humble_One will be sending you your citations in the mail soon for this violation. lol
@LaBakir
I’m thankful for the balance, girl. : ) (Well, sometimes I don’t like having large ta-tas, but it goes with my frame I guess)
@CBG
I just had to comment on this one! LOL! I have had people tell me (both male and female) that they are suprised to see that I had both.
@CNotes
“(I know the VSB committee will crucify me for this statement) I can actually say that I break this theory. : )”
Are you campaigning to get stalked? You like Dilla and Flying Lotus, have a fit body, and intelligent (as far as your comments). I’m also going to recommend that the 24th Circuit Court of VSB throw the book at you for your blatent disregard for the law.
@Humble_One
“I’m also going to recommend that the 24th Circuit Court of VSB throw the book at you for your blatent disregard for the law.”
LMBO!! Hey now….give a sista a break. I’m only stating things that others have said to me. I realize that I am not everyone’s type physically. But for the VSBs who like em 5’8 and curvy with love for euphoric beats……..#imjustsayin Just kidding (but serious). LOL!!!
Why women with tig ol bitties don’t have @ss and women with donks don’t have tig ol bitties?
The same reason why SOME men with great bodies and big hands have small peens. Cuz life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what God’s gonna give ya
Treated.
” Why women with tig ol bitties don’t have @ss and women with donks don’t have tig ol bitties? ”
It’s one of God’s ways of letting us know he has a sense of humor. Especially since when you do find one with both (apparently CNote and LaBakir excluded) her face reminds you of “My Pet Monster”.
My Pet Monster? LMAO…are you serious?
There are MANY women with a balance, including an attractive face. We do exist. But, I truly think it’s all the chemicals in food. It’s causing overgrowth for some body parts, and undergrowth for others.
I’m sure I’m not the only ninja in the world who has witnessed this phenomenon. And if you do find that chick whose blessed with all the proper physical proportions odds are she has spent or should spend time is a mental institute, has starred in a “Banger Brothers” amateur video, or has the brains and the personality of a gold fish.
Wow…I guess we all have our deficiencies. LOL
Why do women go to a party, club, etc. 15 deep in a 2 door Ford Focus?
1) to save on parking, duh
2) because 14 of them wanna get drunk!!!
Why women with tig ol bitties don’t have @ss and women with donks don’t have tig ol bitties?
**sniff, sniff**
-I dunno. I have neither
last 3 questions…priceless!
*I don’t see this as much now that I’m older but, creating a guy’s personality based off what you initially see or after one conversation.
~I honestly think that once you start dreaming about the guy you are dating/talking to then the situaion is OVER!
I try sooo hard not to think of the details, but work w/ whats happening in the moment in the relationship.
Women can get caught up in the fantasy…
Why do women go to a party, club, etc. 15 deep in a 2 door Ford Focus?
~good on gas and sometimes a chick may leave w/ someone else!
Why women with tig ol bitties don’t have @ss and women with donks don’t have tig ol bitties?
~Somethings only God can answer…
other things can be answered by a plastic surgeon!
1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?
I think this has been explained a thousand times over by many here. Unfortunately, I am one of those who rarely wraps her hair at night, which goes into #2.
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
It takes so long to get ready because unlike men we can’t substitute our looks with money, personality, fame, etc. The time we put into our look is directly correlated with how well we are received by men.
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
So many? Well, soap is not just soap. The face and neck are much more delicate than other parts of the body, so it is important to use a more mild soap for those delicate areas. Similarly, I don’t use bar soap when I wash my hands, I use hand soap. And it doesn’t cost me much more because many of my soaps, I can make.
4) Why do you all care so much about details?
Life wouldn’t be life without the details. The details are what life worth living. Think about it, would it be sufficient to know that a woman was pretty? Heck no? You want to know ass-to-waist ratio, condition of the teeth, face attractiveness, etc. It’s all in the details
Excellent answer for #2!!!
Thanks and stuff…
Good answers! No Family Feud.
I have a very good sense of direction. My mama made sure of that. I know how to pay attention to my surrounding and all that jazz.
Anywho…some ladies above summed it up. Tying up your hair at night prevents breakage.
All moisturizers are NOT created equal…or soaps. You should use Irish Spring on your tush and your face. Plus that’s a little nasty.
I’m extremely observant.. so I’m always aware of my surroundings.. which comes in handy when someone inevitably asks “where was that place we went to 5 years ago..”
I’m excellent at my sense of direction..
OH! when I was in Maryland, dude and I walked to Checkers.. then he pulls out the “walk us back home” routine.. He looked at me all o_____O when I was like, “left at the light, right by the house with the flowers..”
“you tryin to get me lost out here in west bubblef*ck? NOT I!”
checkers on north ave………
*single tear down my cheek*
I miss home….DAYUM
yep, dude (him and his
noncommunication skills) from Disaster in MD were epic failsI know the VSBs are going to have a field day complaining about women today. LOL. I’ll try to answer in short.
* I don’t wrap my hair. Yes I’m a “mixed chick” and I do crazy ish with my hair because I can. I’ll dye it red and pick it out if I want or dye it brown and flat iron it. Right now it’s a brownish blonde. It’s long, I have alot of it. I’m sorry if that upsets you. Blame my daddy.
* I have an excellent sense of direction, I’m the best driver I know, and I can build/fix ish. Thank my daddy.
* It takes me a solid hour to get ready during weekdays and 90mins to get ready on weekends. I dunno. I shave every other day maybe that’s why? I use 3 soaps: one for body and one for down there, I do use an exfoliant soap on my feet and I have a body puff for my body, wash rag for private parts and a loofah for my feet. Don’t judge me.
* Story telling is an art for me. I go into detail because I have to set up the scene so you can visualize what I’m talking about. Plus, I’ll stand up and demonstrate for the full effect. I can’t help it.
@SFG
My family is Seminole, but from northern Florida. Are you Seminole?
i’m indian/black. the indian side is india red dot and curry lol
LOL@ the indian side is india red dot and curry.
Gotcha, this is what I get for assuming that Indian means Native cuz you’re Black. I feel like a 2520 right now, ashamed of myself!
Seminoles in the house!
We at the family renuion! Jill Scott’n It.
*reunion
Miss Jamaica should have a won. That is all.
#justsayin
Co-Mutha-Luvin-SIGN!!
I knew Mexico would be top 2 or 3 but really?! Fo real… she didn’t eem answer the question.
^Jamaica did represent and put fools on notice. Also, kinda on topic, Tyson Gay beat Usain Bolt! I got love for both track runners, but after Tyson Gay was losing, being a good sport about it, then plagued by injuries I am proud of brotha’. Plus, I’m sure Usain is coming back.
Woah! I’ve got to google that!
Not until 2011. He’s sitting out the rest of 2010 because of lower back tightness. He never mentioned it as far as the loss to Gay, although it had to have been there before the race.
I almost broke my remote. It’s all rigged anyway
When I saw this post last night, I knew the VSSs were going to have something interesting about this. Loving the dialogue here because of the interesting perspectives on everything. Here’s my pocket change.
#1. Women who keep their hair straight and want to keep it straight for a period of time after getting a perm or getting their hair have to wrap their hair. It is the same logic in why I have to wear a do-rag to bed at night. My hair ain’t naturally wavy but damn it, I have worked for it. A woman wrapping her hair pretty much trains to the hair to stay has straight has possible, so when the wrap is taken off and the hair is combed out, it is easier to deal. Just like waves, this is an individual thing. Some when have naturally curly hair, want it to stay curly, they want to natural, to each her won. It is just a thing certain women do in order for feel beautiful and confident.
#2. Women do take longer than men to get ready but it is worth the work, for us and them. They got more intricate body parts to clean, they do things to their hair and faces that men don’t do, if they want big curls, they have to put rollers in their hair, they have to find the right “eff em” dress and shoes to match. This is what women do, especially the pretty ones that know they are pretty. What should men do during this time? Catch up on some sleep and take a power nap. They’re is nothing better than waking up to a beautiful woman that is actually READY to go somewhere.
#3. The thing in between a woman’s legs ain’t the same as the thing between a man’s legs. That thang that women have, as lovely, beautiful and succulent as it is, goes through a particular cleaning process. You can’t erething up in there. The wrong soap can cause some problems. It has to be clean a certain what with certain stuff. Thank God that women do it. Whether it is for dining or grinding, stank pu$$ is not the business.
#4. Women like details, but mainly for things they are interested in, whether you are or not. Piece of advice: next time a woman wants to break down the intricacies of why she doesn’t like half the bi***es she works with, flip the script and go into detail of the intricacies of the 4-3 Flex Defense and Tampa 2 Coverage schemes, and give her a pop quiz on it a few days later. Work smarter, not harder, gentlemen.
A lot of this stuff was said in jest with some experience mixed in, but seriously, I stopped trying to figure out women by the time I was 21. That is partly because I was the only boy and I think a lot like a woman. The fact that I can be just as detail oriented as a woman usually catches women off guard, especially when I can her I noticed how her hair changes in the sun or her the pattern in her dress really draws attention to her eyes and the shimmer in her earrings. You throw details back at her, you might get some moist panties in return. I learned dealing with women is about redirecting your energy and not wasting it on why why why. She takes two hours to get ready? Take a nap so you have some energy to knock it down later on. She wants details? Give her more details than she can shake a stick at, including the starting lineup of the 1998 New York Yankees championship team. That’ll learn her.
One more thing: women are crazy. It’s not a bad thing, yet it is the truth. To women, we are crazy. The complexities of a woman drive men crazy and the simplicities of a man drive women crazy. It’s called balance, or a cruel joke by God. Take your pick. Why do men deal with women? Having a beautiful woman on your arm? Sure. Someone that has your back and supports you through the good and bad? Certainly. Because the love pocket can affect the time-space continuum at any given moment? Quite possible. Whatever the case may be, the questions we generally ask about women are because we like y’all.
Sorry, SFG. That comment wasn’t meant to be a response, just a stand alone comment. My bad.
You can do whatever you want
You are so bad.
Copy and paste it as a stand alone comment so everyone can read it.
Oh dang I just read your comment! Can I tell you that I just fell in love with you? I don’t care if you’re an overweight midget with one leg, cross eyed and a fro hawk (with a tail in the back). I HEART YOU!!!! You answered every question better than any woman on here today. It’s like you know women to a tee. I dare Sobo to come in and call this pandering. This is effin on point. Btw, I own my craziness…it’s a part of my charm.
At least I know when to turn it off and appear “normal” in public. I’ll never embarrass you boo. You better put on your Bucket List to fly to Florida and meet SFG so she can see you in your invisible spider man outfit. LOL
Girl, I am going to stop hanging out with you. You have me laughing so much you are about to have my asthma kick back in. I just went what I know. My sister used to wrap her hair all the time but she went natural about a year ago and loves it. I had an ex that would have conversations with me in the bathroom while she wrapped her hair so I got to see how it is done first hand, plus as a punishment for making her mad (it was all on me), I had to spend all day at the beauty shop with her so I got see what all women go through just to look good. The women in my family are crazy, including my niece, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. *Adds to bucket list*
I had asthma as a kid too. *eyes swelling with tears*… I think we’re soul mates! haha…just ignore Sobo below. lol
That is crazy we have so much in common. That’s why I really didn’t play sports as a kid. I don’t use an inhaler anymore, but my dad still does at 62. That’s where I got my asthma from. I ain’t worried about my boy Sobo. Even though he calls me a panderer, deep down, I know he agrees with me. lol
@CBG
True. True.
*wakes up from slumber*
*yyyaaawwwwnnn*
*blinks twice* *peeks in*
Pander.
*rolls over, goes back to sleep*.
“Yes I’m a “mixed chick” and I do crazy ish with my hair because I can. I’ll dye it red and pick it out if I want or dye it brown and flat iron it. Right now it’s a brownish blonde. It’s long, I have alot of it. I’m sorry if that upsets you. Blame my daddy.”
No hate here! We all got hair tricks!
Lol somedays I get sick of all this hair and feel like shaving my head bald and starting over but I got a big forehead so that’s not gonna work.
@ SFG – I think you’re me. Except I’m Choctaw and Black
here’s my pre PMS rant:
- I don’t wrap cuz I don’t have too. I don’t mind losing small strands of hair at night, I have too much of it as it is.
- I use different soaps and potions because I can and I can afford it.
- I have a natural homming instinct so I rarely get lost.
- The genius is in the details.My details orientation has heightened my sense of discernment, which allows me to sift out BS from a ninja trying to play me.
- Which leads me to throwing up the deuces and then the “Westsiiiidde” to a ninja trying to play me – while my strands of long, luxurious hair is left all up in his bed sheets for the next biaatchch to find
Lmmmaaaaaoooooo! We are the same. I have to be a detailed person. I’ve escaped so much in life because I can see the smaller and bigger picture. It’s all in the details.
I am learning about night time hair keep today. I’m going to buy some satin pillow cases. I do wake up with wild hair so maybe that will help.
1. For black women cotton pillow cases can sap all the moisture out of our locks and promote breakage, to combat this either a satin pillow case, bonnet or scarf, and it also helps to keep style fresh.
2. Actually it doesn’t take me long to get ready at all esp if my hiar is already done.
3. I like girlly good smelling things and a variety of them…I like sea salts, srcubs, sugars, shower gels etc….I am carfeful though cause these can upset a delicate balance that love below like to maintain.
4. The Devil is in the details. LOL
Very, very very few men perplex me and the ones that did, I eventually learned why, I am very observant and analytical, I tend to study what fascinates me until I have it figured out. Quicksilver.
There would be an event AFTER I left the DMV!
haha I love this post and my question is…
why do men hate giving details? If you want to relay a message or give a presentataion, you’d relay it in its entirety, correct? Then do the same for stories and ish! Thank you *smiles politely*
Once a woman finds out what works for her, she shouldn’t use a whole bunch of soaps and lotions, at least not everyday. Let me not tell how many side eyes, scratch that, side faces, I’ve gotten when other women find out I don’t know how to wrap my hair. I mean I try, but when I wake up, it looks like I should have never tried.
~I wrap my hair bcuz I don’t want to curl my hair in the morning.
Its not that deep… lol
~I luv variety! when I shower at night lavender helps me relax and peppermint helps me wake up in the morning!
~Details are good, but I can be like dude when explaining stuff.
So I appeciate a good story from a girlfriend!
Its funny as hell usually
I’m going in:
Wrapping Hair: I rock a short haircut. If my hair is not wrapped at night, the sides will not lay smoothly the next day (The Indians in my family did not look out for me in the hair department…lol). Most of us (sistas) have dry hair by nature. The cotton from the pillow extracts what little natural oils we do have which makes our hair susceptible to breakage. However, I NEVER wrap before chexing. That happens during cleanup. ; )
Getting Ready: We take long to get ready so that we can take care of the details men don’t have to worry about. (Shave/touch up shaving of underarms, legs and chocha. Extra lotion on the feet because they will likely be partially exposed. Appropriate bra/underwear for that dress. Etc.)
Different Soap: Because we like a variety of smells and some of them have different functions. When I have no date, I use Lever 2000. When I have a date, I use my coconut/almond body wash. See?
Details: How boring life would be without them. I mean, really? (example below)
MEN/NO DETAILS
VSB #1: How was the barbeque?
VSB #2: It was straight.
VSB #1: Who all was there?
VSB #2: The usual crew: Ronnie, Bobbie, Ricky and Mike.
WOMEN/DETAILS
VSS #1: How was the barbeque, girl?
VSS #2: Girl, it was cool other than the fact that these ninjas ran out of paper cups and started asking us to recycle the one we had. I don’t want my water tasting like Hennessy! How you gonna have a get- together and not have what you need??
VSS #1: Ummm hmm. But, who all was there?
VSS #2: Everybody and dey mama. Even Kita and her ridiculously large jaw showed up.
dayum… forgot about Lever2000! I remember when that came out in the 90s!
Im gonna buy that today lol!
lmao@detail convo
@lola289
I have always loved that soap. I feel “EXTRA” clean when I use it. : )
LOL that’s my bar soap too, original scent is my fav!!!!
Good overall summation and sh#t…that details example is pretty accurate (that’s exactly how an exchange would go between myself and one of the homies)
Btw, I was able to get my hands on Zo’s new album, Sunstorm. Listening to it right now…it’s really straight…lol
@DG
“that’s exactly how an exchange would go between myself and one of the homies”
I grew up with four brothers (I’m the only girl). I’ve paid close attention to how you guys speak to each other. : )
“Btw, I was able to get my hands on Zo’s new album, Sunstorm. Listening to it right now”
Wow…..Sunstorm is in my rotation right now too! Just got it last week. We’re in sync. Also, I’ve been listening to 4Hero’s album: Play With the Changes. Lovin it!
Zo’s new album, Sunstorm- this right here is the TROOOOOOOF….I change favorites each & e’rry week current fav is the Jesse Boykins jam “If I could tell you no”…but you are correct that whole cd is FIYAH…as you were….
@bajanflchick
“current fav is the Jesse Boykins jam”
My brother’s friend just sent me this album and said it was hot! I’m still on Zo! and 4Hero, so I haven’t listened to it yet. But, I will make sure it is on deck for my next round.
you will not be disappointed….please get it into the rotation stat!
@CNotes & @bajanflchick,
Great musical minds and all…
My current rotation includes Music Fan First (E. Roberson), Sketches in Spain (Miles), various Badu albums, and Stray Bullets mixtape (Cee-Lo Green). Need to cop Jesse Boykins albums, cuz dude can go (saw him in ATL a few mos. back)
@DG
“Stray Bullets mixtape (Cee-Lo Green)”
ahhh…I gotta get this one.
Here you go, girl:
http://www.mediafire.com/?4tyexmnzd3b
If the link doesn’t work, holla back at me and I’ll see what I can do for ya’…
@DG
The link doesn’t work…help. : (
Okay, go to the okp website below and just click on either download link:
http://www.okayplayer.com/news/Cee-Lo-Green-Stray-Bullets-Mixtape-.html
This should get you there….if not, we’ll try something else.
@DG
WORKS!!! Thank ya!!!! : )
Lovin the playlsit here DG, I am an ERRO fan myself & yes on the Jesse Boykins album too…AMOROUS is the ISH….as are many of his others..he actually does a version of Corrine Bailey Ray’s Closer , did he do that when you saw him and Cee-Lo has a really interesting voice as well (and I’m sure you’ve heard his latest Flux You song….) MUSIC makes my world go round , that is all.
Amorous is nice…when I saw him he was opening for Bilal and Anthony David…he did a nice cover of ‘Prototype’ (Andre’ 3000)…
Cee-Lo’s F*** You song is that fire (speaks to a lot of hearts, too). His “I Want You” song is crucial, tho…barring any delays, his new album should drop in a couple of months, I think.
Always good to “meet” a fellow fiend of good music…
Speaking of Bilal, his new album drops September 14th (Airtight’s Revenge)
*gasp* Bilal has a new album?! Yay!
@legitimate_soul
I know! I can’t wait either!! : )
dead at Kita’s large jaw making an appearance.
@Toni
I know…..it was mean to say, right? But, I can’t get through an episode of the TO show without obessively staring at it. It doesn’t help that she makes extreme facial expressions. She might as well be a cartoon character. (sorry Lord)
I’m late cuz I’m sick today but I couldn’t resist.
1) Why do women have to wrap their hair to go to sleep?
I think this has been covered. Ease of doing the hair the next day, prevent breakage dryness. Me personally I sleep crazy and don’t wanna wake up with my hair all over the place.
2) Why DOES it take so damn long to get ready?
Hmmm…because of #3 lol. First It takes us longer to clean, bc I don’t know what y’all can clean in the 3.5s you’re in the shower. Plus I’ve meet several guys that don’t shower regularly yuck!!!
Second, we have more choices than you style wise. Basically y’all grab a tshirt, jeans and a pair of sneaks or a button down slacks and some shoes. We’ve got to decide shorts, pants, skirt or dress. If anything other than a dress we’ve gotta match something bc every top doesn’t match every bottom, then we gotta decide flats or heels. Them we gotta accessorize-purse jewelry. Basically we gotta do all that stuff that made you notice us in the first place!!!!
3) Why do you all have so many different soaps?
I’m not really guilty of this. I love bath and body works bc I like smell goods. So I may have 4 body washes in my shower, not for skin purposes, but just for different smells. I also only have a face lotion, jergens (body) and quench (body -for the days I want to shimmer.)
4) Why do you all care so much about details?
Because we do!!! We like to paint a picture. Sue us
About directions… I’m awesome with directions. I’m like the only person I know that doesn’t have a gps. I hate those things!!! (ok I use the one on my phone occasionally). I can get just about anywhere with common sense and a map. I know I’m the exception.
I am meeting more and more guys that have no sense of direction and it bothers me to no end!!! Like my ex didn’t know that odd interstates run and south and even ones run east and west o_O Seriously you can’t get me across town? How secure can I feel with you smh
GOOD POST!! Man, my ex seemed to go out of her way to look like a dude at night. Do rag used as her wrap, wife beater, slept in my boxers. Before the break-up I took to calling her Leroy and couldn’t touch her when she looked like that. It was odd to say the least.
LOL..dayum keep it femme tho, if I had a man I’d probaly use the pillow cases LOL and sleep in the beata alone..a lil tweak and she woulda been alright..*shrug*… LOL
@RJ
this is too funny!
Panama-
If we stopped doing all of the things that you listed above you would notice and be sorely disappointed…the list is made up of things that mystify, attract, and keep you so don’t question it. You will NEVER get it. Just smile and remember happy wife happy life.
Sorry if these have been asked already….
Why do men watch sports center 24/7? Don they show the same highlightsbovet and over?
Why do men hate showers? I’ve meet a couple of guys that seem to go out of there way not to shower. I’m talking like one shower a day during the dead of summer and probably one every other day during the winter.
Why don’t married men wear wedding rings? (obvious I know)
Why do men expect a woman to play both the traditional and modern roles in a relationship? Pick one and stick with it. I can’t do both.
Why do men always think the grass is greener? (80/20 rule)
I’ll think of more…
“Why do men watch sports center 24/7? Don’t they show the same highlights over and over?”
I used to do this, but stopped a few years ago. ESPN actually tried to change this with a “live” SportsCenter in the mornings and early afternoons (most of it is taped). A lot of times it’s simply the ‘default’ option for VSBs, though.
“Why do men hate showers? I’ve meet a couple of guys that seem to go out of there way not to shower. I’m talking like one shower a day during the dead of summer and probably one every other day during the winter.”
I need to move to where some of y’all are so I can be ahead of the curve. Between this and legitimate’s questions, I wonder about some men out there.
“Why don’t married men wear wedding rings? (obvious I know)”
Not always…sometimes it’s honestly lost or they don’t want to risk anything happening to it. I’d wear mine all the time except for when I’m asleep and in the shower. Surely no way I’d leave the house without it, though.
“Why do men expect a woman to play both the traditional and modern roles in a relationship? Pick one and stick with it. I can’t do both.”
Why not? We have to – or at least I know I did in my relationships. I’d like to think there’s a happy medium and that a couple can actually, you know, work to find said medium…but that’s too much like right.
“Why do men always think the grass is greener? (80/20 rule)”
Depends on how bad the 20 is…which, of course, may make it more than 20. We don’t always value things equally (I know: surprise).
Educate a sista. . . . . . Whats the 80/20 rule?
See why did I get married. Lol.
It’s the concept that you’ll only get 80% of what you need from a mate, but some ppl will leave that 80% for the 20% they’re missing in the current mate. Only to find out that 20% isn’t enough to maintain a healthy relationship. Bssically it’s a way if saying you think the grass is always greener and you willing to trade in the security you have for what sbehind door number 2 because you’re greedy and never satisfied.
I’m gonna go ahead and say it: I was expecting more from this post. C’mon Panama, you can’t seriously be a 25+ year old black male and not know some of the answers to these silly questions. But since you asked, and I’m for serious rolling my eyes here at work and trying to delay the onset of any real work doing for another ten minutes, here we go:
1. For black women, wrapping your hair in a silk scarf protects it from being assaulted by cotton pillow cases and all manner of hair/cotton friction during sleep. And helps keep the doobie looking fresh. Just think about what women with relaxed hair look like after a good romp. That’s the situation we would deal with every day if we didn’t wrap our hair at night. I personally have locks, and even I still have to wrap my hair to protect my edges against breakage and again to prevent myself from looking like “who shot john” in the morning. On the nights I forget to do it or don’t have my scarf, the look in the am is NOT HOT. moving on…
2. Women take long-er to get ready than men because generally WE HAVE MORE DETAILS TO ATTEND TO. For men, you shower, lotion, dress, and go. For women, there is hair to attend to, because for women, but black women espeically, there’s not such thing as a wake and go hair do, unless she’s rockin’ a caesar. Then there’s make-up–more for some than others. Personally I only wear make up when I’m going out and that requires: eye liner, mascara, eye-shadow, and lip gloss. pardon me for not trying to put my eye liner on in .5 seconds. Go watch sportscenter and quit buggin me!. Then there’s jewelry–again some wear more than others–but find me a black woman who walks out of her house on a regular basis without at least a pair of earrings, I dare you! Are you starting to get the picture that these extra steps require extra TIME?! so like i said, go watch sportscenter on ESPN 8 and let me be.
3. Because women are more attentive and concerned about our skin care regimen’s than men, that’s why we have different soaps, lotions. More often than not, the skin on your face and the rest of your body have different needs. And women are more attentive to that. And you may be blessed with good skin, but i know several brothers that aren’t so fortunate, and require q regimn with several products as well. And you KNOW you love the smell of dove body wash, so quit complaining.
4. DETAILS FUCKING MATTER. Now I’ve got a bone to pick with y’all men on this one. quit giving me 3 word sentences and expecting me to be happy about it. WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY, and HOW LONG WILL THIS TAKE are crucial pieces of information. It gives context to the story, event, and allows for more appropriate response, etc. And I don’t expect you to remember small as details, but if i’ve talked about it like 36541 times and you still can’t remember, that means you were never listening, and that’s just rude.
hmph!
*i’m just a little pissy today, but for real, do better*
quit giving me 3 word sentences and expecting me to be happy about it.
ok.
@Nadette @ Eat, Read, Rant!
“find me a black woman who walks out of her house on a regular basis without at least a pair of earrings, I dare you!”
Preach!!
you ain’t nevah lied, I keeps a spare pair at work in my drawer for just in case I ever lose one, etc….you just don’t get to see me sans earrings, that is no bueno
growing up, i wasn’t allowed to leave the house without earrings.
I often wonder how hetero men who’ve known women all their lives can be over the age of 25 and be CLUELESS about the simplest things about women.
1. BLACK hair is generally dryer than other hair types and needs to be wrapped up in a silk or satin wrap to keep it looking healthy, bouncy, and shiny. Cotton pillow cases strip the moisture from our hair so we protect it. Simple. As far as weave goes, it will get matted and tangled if it’s not wrapped up and the style (especially curls) won’t be maintained. Some women can just sleep on satin pillow cases to avoid this.
2. Do you want your woman looking like a man when yall go out? No? Didn’t think so. Our process is more involved. We have hair, makeup, accessories, shoes, etc to coordinate before we go out. I tell my man all the time to just get over this. We have a process – he doesn’t start getting ready until I’m halfway through my routine lol.
3. We like to try different products, so what? We receive most of it as gifts from yall anyway!!! I personally use different soap & lotion for my face to treat and prevent acne breakouts. Body lotions and soaps contain perfumes, dyes, etc. that my face just can’t take.
4. Details matter. The end.
Before I put in my $0.02 on the topic, BOOOOOOO to whoever decided to have the DC Happy Hour on Thursday. Anita Baker is performing at Wolf Trap and I got tix to chill with the gf. I wanted to meet some of the people who have me rollin’ in my cubicle but no can do on 8/26. Now….
#1A: I get lost a lot. My GPS got stolen a couple months ago and I still haven’t recovered. But I still know if a location is North, South, East, or West of another location. I guess women got intuition and men got sense of direction because we are meant to lead and they are meant to detect BS. Message.
#1 I gotta co-sign Mr. SoBo on this. It wouldn’t stop me, but I would hate to have to be interrupted during relations because a woman has to wrap up her hair. I’m using that hair. No bueno.
#2 Only in the morning, my girl gets up, does her thing, and gets out twice as fast as I can. She has it down to a science. When we are going out, different story. I have no idea what goes on in that bathroom but I hope it speeds up soon.
#3. It is a little weird but no complaints here. If it take 7 soaps and 3 body-washes to get you all silky-feeling, swing away. I do wonder if #3 is the reason for #2 though. #thingsthatmakeyougohmmmmm
#4 I’m really the more detail-oriented one. We are all different. *Yeshrug*
Two other things I don’t get about women:
-Y’all want privacy and attention simultaneously. Wait a minute, what?
-Y’all are obsessed with ruining man fun. For real, when ladies have their little girlie fun together, besides that evil circle dance, we generally don’t give a sh*t. Yet we can’t be left to our devices?
“-Y’all are obsessed with ruining man fun. For real, when ladies have their little girlie fun together, besides that evil circle dance, we generally don’t give a sh*t. Yet we can’t be left to our devices?”
probably just with the wrong chick. you do you, imma do me. we can get back together later.
Who said it had to be a GF/wife? It’s also sisters, mothers, homegirls, daughters…LOL.
Yeah, I gotta agree with Toni on that one. I want you to have man-fun. Do it! Enjoy and we’ll get up later.
I honestly think the reason men don’t understand these things about women is because you don’t care about details. As you can see from all the damn comments above we will explain it to you, but once we start explaining it gets boggled down with details and you tend to stop listening (no shade just facts). So take the simple answer for 1, 2, & 3 “We’re keeping ourselves beautiful for you ” and keep it movin
i am cracking up at some of these comments. especially those about hair.
idk maybe its just me, but a dude has NEVER mentioned a dislike for or stopped him from trying to sleep with me by me rocking a scarf (whether its to wrap my straighten hair or to keep my natural hair from flying all over the place** and getting tangled at night). in fact, any dude that has ever been to my house after ive taken a shower and gotten ready for bed KNOWS im likely going to be in my scarf by the time he gets there. thats just how i sleep. i imagine if it was that big of a deal he wouldnt wait until that time to be around me anyway. but 9 times outta 10 he’s going to try to get the business regardless of what my hair looks like. the only time a guy ive dealt with intimately has ever requested the scarf be off is because he likes to “play” in it while putting in “work”. and thats fine, im happy to oblige. ill just have to take another 10min in the morning to fix my hair.
**maybe its just me but even with satin/silk pillowcases, hair oil that gets on my pillow causes my face to break out. i have very sensitive skin. which is why i use diff face soap/lotion then the rest of my body. *shrugs* #sueme
“The man who complains about the head scarf/wrap may not get any nookie from the woman wearing it”
‘Hood Proberb
in many cases this is probably true. but ive even asked these dudes, and other guy friends, if head scarves bother them and they say it doesnt. well, given that the chick doesnt stop mid-stroke to go wrap her hair.
Yeah, it never bothered me…when you grow up around blk women, the head scarf just becomes a normal part of life
yeah, i don’t get all these newfangled, sedity men complaining about the scarves. my first boyfriend knew about it, accepted it, and bought me one to keep at his house. he set a precedent. therefore, b*tch*ssness regarding my head scarf will not be tolerated.
therefore, b*tch*ssness regarding my head scarf will not be tolerated..
I’m right there with you. I’m seriously questioning whether some of these guys grew up with black mamas or sisters. Because I’ve never in real life heard a guy complain about a head scarf.
Hell
last night, I’ve had a guy search for my scarf after the do to help me out. He knew I would be looking for itas soon as I caught my breath.“**maybe its just me but even with satin/silk pillowcases, hair oil that gets on my pillow causes my face to break out. i have very sensitive skin. which is why i use diff face soap/lotion then the rest of my body.”
Yes!! While I rarely put oil in my hair, I still have natural oils that are there. I tried the using just the silk pillow case one night and my face was not the best the next day.
I find the satin bonnets work best for me unless I am wearing my hair straight or roller wrapped, then the scarf and yes those satin pillow cases don’t breath, trap oils which can cause breakouts….
Like DG said most black men ought to be accustomed to the scarf/bonnet, it really shouldn’t be a biggie. Chris Wallace.
I agree with Charli Skipper too1
Agreed and valid points. Katt Williams comes into memory again on certain things most dudes ain’t trippin’ off of. Plus, some sistah’s in their scarf look like a sistah in a head wrap. I totally agree in the satin pillow case. Sensitive skin folks gotta be vigilant.
okay, while this question has been answered many times already, i have to add my spin. women wrap our hair because it prevents SPLIT ENDS, which is cute hair’s kryptonite. and to all the people with 2 decimeters of hair that get it trimmed every 4 weeks* talking about, “i don’t have split ends and i don’t do that!” know this: we would all be cool if we wanted to trim our ends every 2nd saturday of the month and rock a bob forever. we don’t. furthermore, just because other races don’t wrap don’t mean they shouldn’t. or at least look into investing in a satin pillow case. i don’t care if your hair is long but it’s frazzled, becky. and the same thing goes for you too, maria conchita.
also, i hate it when women try to be cute and claim they don’t wrap their hair in front of a man or that they don’t have to. hell, i’m not ashamed, i’m not deterred, and i will not be moved about the head wrap! when you complimented me about my hair uponst the first meeting, i shoulda let you know THEN, that my cute black and pank silk scarf comes with the territory. i will pull that ish out with the quickness and smile like i think it’s cute. because tomorrow it will be. and that is all that matters.
okay, now that i’ve written a dissertation on head wrapping, i’ll move on.
as for why it takes so long to get ready in the morning, there’s a 2 prong answer:
1-the world judges women more harshly when it comes to looks, so a man could never understand the stakes involved (lol, but not really)
2-um…………it doesn’t necessarily take me that long to get ready, but i wake up an hour and a half early because i need my “me” time to be alone. and it’s still going to take me that long even if i’m not alone because i know that people already know to expect that it will take me an hour and a half. so, why not?
*i’m mainly talking about men here. this is not a sly way to of me trying to have “shots fired” at other women. but, then at the same time….
i will pull that ish out with the quickness and smile like i think it’s cute. because tomorrow it will be. and that is all that matters. .
*high five*
I don’t even play that let me act like I don’t wear a scarf to bed. No sire. From the first time you see me sleeping, I’ll have it on. Now if we’re getting down with the get down, I’ll wait until we’re done before slapping it on. But please believe, it WILL be put on.
*e-dap on your post*
Slow clap for the entire comment but this right cheah…
when you complimented me about my hair uponst the first meeting, i shoulda let you know THEN, that my cute black and pank silk scarf comes with the territory. i will pull that ish out with the quickness and smile like i think it’s cute. because tomorrow it will be. and that is all that matters.
…Is priceless!! I LOVE IT!! I try to be sassy and leave the house light green and dark green scarf at home and come with the travel all black scarf though when I’m with the Boo. LOL
noooo head scarves. I just have a thing against them. I don’t wrap my hair obviously. prolly wouldn’t matter anyway, im such a wild sleeper, that bad boy would be buried under the bed or in the closet. Diddy.
PJ, the 100% gay comment. i’ve been waiting for you…
*Accidentally typed this as a response to SFG, but was meant as a stand alone comment.*
When I saw this post last night, I knew the VSSs were going to have something interesting about this. Loving the dialogue here because of the interesting perspectives on everything. Here’s my pocket change.
#1. Women who keep their hair straight and want to keep it straight for a period of time after getting a perm or getting their hair have to wrap their hair. It is the same logic in why I have to wear a do-rag to bed at night. My hair ain’t naturally wavy but damn it, I have worked for it. A woman wrapping her hair pretty much trains to the hair to stay has straight has possible, so when the wrap is taken off and the hair is combed out, it is easier to deal. Just like waves, this is an individual thing. Some when have naturally curly hair, want it to stay curly, they want to natural, to each her won. It is just a thing certain women do in order for feel beautiful and confident.
#2. Women do take longer than men to get ready but it is worth the work, for us and them. They got more intricate body parts to clean, they do things to their hair and faces that men don’t do, if they want big curls, they have to put rollers in their hair, they have to find the right “eff em” dress and shoes to match. This is what women do, especially the pretty ones that know they are pretty. What should men do during this time? Catch up on some sleep and take a power nap. They’re is nothing better than waking up to a beautiful woman that is actually READY to go somewhere.
#3. The thing in between a woman’s legs ain’t the same as the thing between a man’s legs. That thang that women have, as lovely, beautiful and succulent as it is, goes through a particular cleaning process. You can’t erething up in there. The wrong soap can cause some problems. It has to be clean a certain what with certain stuff. Thank God that women do it. Whether it is for dining or grinding, stank pu$$ is not the business.
#4. Women like details, but mainly for things they are interested in, whether you are or not. Piece of advice: next time a woman wants to break down the intricacies of why she doesn’t like half the bi***es she works with, flip the script and go into detail of the intricacies of the 4-3 Flex Defense and Tampa 2 Coverage schemes, and give her a pop quiz on it a few days later. Work smarter, not harder, gentlemen.
A lot of this stuff was said in jest with some experience mixed in, but seriously, I stopped trying to figure out women by the time I was 21. That is partly because I was the only boy and I think a lot like a woman. The fact that I can be just as detail oriented as a woman usually catches women off guard, especially when I can her I noticed how her hair changes in the sun or her the pattern in her dress really draws attention to her eyes and the shimmer in her earrings. You throw details back at her, you might get some moist panties in return. I learned dealing with women is about redirecting your energy and not wasting it on why why why. She takes two hours to get ready? Take a nap so you have some energy to knock it down later on. She wants details? Give her more details than she can shake a stick at, including the starting lineup of the 1998 New York Yankees championship team. That’ll learn her.
One more thing: women are crazy. It’s not a bad thing, yet it is the truth. To women, we are crazy. The complexities of a woman drive men crazy and the simplicities of a man drive women crazy. It’s called balance, or a cruel joke by God. Take your pick. Why do men deal with women? Having a beautiful woman on your arm? Sure. Someone that has your back and supports you through the good and bad? Certainly. Because the love pocket can affect the time-space continuum at any given moment? Quite possible. Whatever the case may be, the questions we generally ask about women are because we like y’all.
I ? you for this comment because sometimes I swear we can’t win for losing. Yesterday it was make sure your hair looks nice if you aren’t that attractive in the face. Today it’s why do you wear that scarf to bed? It makes you want to scream, WHAT THESE B*TCHES WANT FROM A NINJA?!?!?! Do you want me to look cute or not?!?! Geez louise!
Cosign the the nth power.
If I didn’t see “ComicBookGuy” as the author of this comment, I’d think a VSS wrote this. DAYUM, you know womens, Sir.
He’s taken ladies lol j/k
i guess no one invests in satin pillow cases. *shrug*
I would invest in them if I knew that’s where my head would end up when I went to sleep. But I’m a somewhat turbulent sleeper and “other activities” have my head ending up elsewhere.
Maybe I should invest in an entire satin sheet SET. I just didn’t know it bugged dudes like this. I just thought y’all understood it came with the territory of having a woman who had nice hair… :/
satin sheets/pillowcases = hot as sh!t = me sweating = bad for my roots. LOL.
I don’t wrap my hair regularly anyways… but I do know satin pillowcases are not the answer. I break out in a sweat just looking at them.
Satin sheets have me falling out of the bed. Literally. Lol!
lol yeah and as luxurious as they fell, them mofos won’t stay on the dayum bed. Rogue a*s sheets…
Satin pillow cases don’t maintain certain hairstyles…your hair will be soft when you wake up but your curls will be gone. Guys, just leave this alone it ain’t that deep!
1.)I wrap my hair every night because i like to keep my hair looking nice and i don’t have satin/silk pillowcases. Cotton is drying and i like my hair moist and shiny. However, if i’m having a “slumber party” i wait til my guest is sleep or i will forgo wrapping it all together. 2.) It generally takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get ready (i think it’s reasonable) but that includes shower, clothes, hair and a little make-up. 3.) I have different soaps/body washes because i like to change up my scent 4.) Details matter to us on some things that are important to us. Just like you guys remember everybody who was drafted in the NBA this year and the entire defensive line for your favorite football team.
* I don’t need directions i bought a Garmin (just relocated to Dallas)
*First-time commenter.
Even though I am a woman, I will admit, there are some things that other women (in particular, my friends) commit that makes me scratch my own d*mn head in confusion.
Disclaimer: There are going to be VSB’s and VSS’s, who are going to say “well…duh” but I think you guys need to know that my friends are trifling messes.
-When venting your frustrations about certain aspects of their lives (boyfriends/significant others, places of business, family, etc.), why do women pick the advice of the angry, bitter friend instead of the friend who offers the “good” advice?
-(I am a “happy to be nappy” natural, so I don’t understand) Why would a woman cut all of her hair off on a Tuesday afternoon, during one week and then in the next week, get a ponytail weave?
From my understanding we wrap our hair because with general “black” hair texture is known to hold styles for longer periods of time. I know I wrap my hair because if I do not I will put dents in my hair from laying on it and it will go everywhere. If that happens I will take longer time to get ready, which is something you are complaining about. When I wrap it, it is smooth and I can just comb it down.
1.i dont wrap my hair to sleep. i do wrap it to clean house because i don’t like dust getting in it.
2. i plan my work wardrobe so i can get ready for work in 20 minutes. everything is ironed and in the closet waiting. hair is natural and takes little work and i’ve been doing my makeup for 26 years now, so can do anything from the natural look to full glamazon face in 5 min. work is easy because there is one look-professional.
now when im going out i have to think, how do i want to look?
pretty,sexy,flirty,slutty,stylish,fierce,elegant,sophisticated,casual,sporty,cute,girly,motherly etc..
so there is a wider variety of fun clothing,then it has to be accessorized which takes time. then you have to consider weather,is it hot,cold,windy,rainy? gotta be prepared! no spaghetti straps and sandals if its stormy, even if it is 99 degrees out
then, u decide if you want to be comfortable or beautiful (sometimes the high heels have to stay home), if you’re somewhere where u may get dirty(no wearing white if there will be kids, dogs,or spaghetti). then, are u going to be overdressed or underdressed? dont want to look like a scrub if everyone else looks fab,but if its a casual thing you dont want to look tooooooo good.
so its like this, you picked an outfit but now its rainy you have to change into something suitable then put your hair up,which means you have to change earrings, which means you need a shirt that matches your earrings but that shirt doesnt look good with those pants,so change pants but now you need to change shoes and that means change your belt and bag too,hell,now you look flirty when u wanted to look elegant so take it all off and start over while running to the internet to see if you can order something and have it delivered within the hour…and now your makeup is all messed up because of all the clothing changes, may as well redo that and the hair plus your toenails now no longer match the panties you had to change into to go with the bra that looks best with this shirt and hell,this eyeshadow and those toenails aint workin so redo the face because the lipstick doesnt go with the eyeshadow tht goes with the nailpolish that goes with the draws that go with the bra that goes with the shirt that goes with the earrings that work with the updo AND with the pants that go best with the rainy weather shoes and trench coat and oh shit,he’s at the door and you’re wearing nothing but a bathrobe and one false eyelash weeping because you have nothing to wear
3.i have too much soap. moisturizing soap for the legs and arms in winter, when the air is dry. acne soap for summer when the face is greasy. bamboo soap for exfoliating.turmeric soap for antioxidant benefits.sulfur soap and caribe carbolic soap for when i’ve been doing yard work or washing the dogs and want to be degermed.rose soap because it smells good- ditto for the violet soap,plumeria soap,chanel soap,jicky soap,hypnotic poison soap,gardenia soap ad infinitum.
it aint easy bein cute
This is my first comment…I just had to say something about this lol. I wrap my hair/it is important for most black women to wrap their hair because the ends of coarser hair break easily. If you protect your ends from cotton and like fabrics (including your shirts/collars), you will retain length. Retention is the reason most black women aren’t able to grow their hair long not because it doesn’t grow as quickly.
I wrap my hair because that’s less heat I have to apply to it on a weekly basis when I wake up in the morning. It also decreases time in the bathroom and getting ready – all I’d have to do is put a little anti-frizz in and be done. It was more tedious when my hair was longer, but now, because my hair is super-short, I don’t have as many bad run-ins whether I wear a scarf or not. As far as sex, I don’t stop to wrap my hair. I deal with it in the morning.
Now, getting ready. It takes me, on average, 35 minutes or so to get dressed, but again, that’s because my hair is short.
I don’t care so much for details, but I will answer any quick questions you have while I’m telling the story.
No sh*t it’s gonna take me a while to get ready. Unless a girl is rocking a pixie cut or some other type of short ‘do it’s gonna take me a while to get ready. I’m not gonna leave the house with a soaking wet head. SMH
Black and mixed women wrap their hair to preserve their hair. This helps keep ends from splitting, static, creasing, etc.
My face is more sensitive than my arms or stomach. Just because you don’t care about your face doesn’t mean I don’t care about mine.
I’ll take however long I want to get ready. Who’s business is it? I dress to look nice and to MY liking.
I am a vegetarian, therefore I have to read the menu to see what options they have that suit my palette, are meatless, and aren’t doused in cheese. Don’t like it? Don’t date me.
Trust me, I could care less what goes on in your mind if you’re not tolerable/understanding of me. Pointless, end of discussion.
Anything I forgot? I don’t really care.