Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Why There Could Never Be A Black “Girls”

While visiting a friend a few weeks ago, I happened to come over when she was right in the middle of a back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back “Girls” marathon. Assuming I wouldn’t be interested in it, she offered to put something else on. But, since I was genuinely curious to see if the big fuss about this show was warranted (and since it’s probably a good idea to actually watch something if you’ve written articles about it), I sat on the couch and watched it with her, an act that made three separate thoughts form in my head

1. I used to attempt to justify my interest in shows like “Basketball Wives” by using the “I just watch it with my girl” excuse.

I don’t think anyone actually bought it, but it’s just one of those bullshit phrases like “You know, I don’t usually swallow on the first date” that people just feel the need to say to make themselves feel better.

Since I’m no longer in a relationship, I have to change my perfunctory excuse. Not set on one yet, but “I write about this stuff for a living, so watching it is just me doing homework” seems like it could be a winner.

2. “Girls” is…good

Without giving any spoilers, it took maybe 20 minutes of watching for me to understand what the fuss was about. I don’t think I’ve seen another show capture that Kafkaesque feeling of “what the f*ck is going with my life”-ness that hits many of us in our early 20s. And, I definitely know that I’ve never seen a show be as frank (and funny) about the weirdness of some of our sexual relationships and the ambivalent motivations leading us to make some of the decisions we make.

It’s not a great show — I won’t be comparing “Girls” to season four of “The Wire” or even season two of “Louie” any time soon — but it is very good.

3. There is no way in hell that a Black version of “Girls” could or would get made today

During the “Girls” marathon,  I saw each of the following happen in a 50 minute span (I’ll try not to spoil the show too much)

—A naked male character masturbated while one of the female characters watched. During this masturbation session, the dialogue between the two got progressively weirder and more vulgar.

—The middle-aged parents of one of the characters had one of the most realistically intense sex scenes I’ve ever seen on cable tv.

—While sleeping with a guy she’d just gone on a first (and only) date with, one of the characters repeatedly tried to up the ante by engaging in completely (and hilariously) awkward dirty talk and followed that by offering to put her finger in the man’s anus (he declined)

These are just three of the dozens of times sex is shown, discussed, alluded to, made light of, seen, and overheard on “Girls.” Don’t get me wrong. The show isn’t just about sex, but it would be near impossible to have a (somewhat) realistic depiction of contemporary young people — even the ones not having sex — without sex just, well, being there.

None of this could happen with a Black show. Sure, young Black people find themselves in the same type of situations, but if Black people were shown having the same type of sex (and having the same type of sex-related discussions) the characters on “Girls” regularly do, it goes from being thought of as “real” and “gritty” and “truly naked” to “nasty” and “pornographic.”

We — and “we” in this case is “Americans” — have a strange relationship with Black sex and sexuality, too strange for me to even begin to expound on today. Interestingly enough, this is true for both White and Black America. As much as we complain about the lack of real Black shows on TV, we’d be just as weirded out by real Black sex. Can you imagine how many petitions would be made if a popular Black show had a Black female character asking to put her finger in a Black male character’s butt during sex?

And, even if a Black “Girls” made it past the FCC whichever organization governs cable censorship — it wouldn’t, but let’s just say it would — it wouldn’t survive the gauntlet of Black outrage that would soon follow. Seriously, if Debra Lee created this show, the Black community would hire Keyser Soze to firebomb her house, bankrupt her family’s businesses, poison her pets, and break the heels off of each of her Louboutins.

But, you know what? Let’s say that a hypothetical Black “Girls” — complete with the same type of humor and explicitly adult themes — made it past the FCC, and survived the gauntlet of Black outrage. It still wouldn’t stay on the air.

Why? Well, if this Black “Girls” is a mirror of the White “Girls,” the main character would be an average looking woman. Not “Hollywood average,” but average average. Aggressively average. “Looks exactly like the woman handing out chicken sausage at Trader Joe’s” average.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being average looking. Average has a low standard deviation as most people —myself included — fall somewhere within the mean. But, while there are a ton of average-looking working White actresses, I challenge you to name ONE relevant Black actress under 40 who’d be considered average. Not Hollywood average, but “she looks like this chick who works at the DMV” average.

My point? As talented as (“Girls” creator and star) Lena Dunham is, there’s no way in hell her Black equivalent would be able to be the lead character on a show. Not just an HBO show, either. Any show and any movie. A Black actress basically has to be (at least) a “7″ — a real life “7,” not a Hollywood “7″ — to even get 30 seconds on screen,¹ and even the 7′s get relentlessly picked apart by us.

Unless your teeth are perfectly straight and white, your ends are perfectly trimmed, your lacefront is perfectly sown, and your body is perfectly tight, you better not be a Black actress and have the audacity to think you belong in front of the camera.

Perhaps there will be a day when we’re allowed (and allow ourselves) the same type of creative freedom Dunham has to create a show like “Girls” and cast her average-looking self as the main character. Until then, I’ll continue to sneak viewings of the current “Girls” while at the houses of female friends. A man gotta do his homework, yanno?

¹I guess you could say that Gabby Sidibe eschews this rule, but “Precious” wasn’t exactly an, um, “normal” movie. 

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Exploretalent.com | Regenerative Leadership Institute | Mobidart

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    I’ve never seen “White Girls,” as I call the show, and really have no interest in it. I’m just mad that it sounds like the Black equivalent is “Zane’s S.ex Chronicles.” *cries* Can we at least get a 2012 equivalent of “Living Single?”

    • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      I am so happy you said “equivalent” instead of re-make. With people running around remaking every show/movie/book ever made, my fear is that someone somewhere is conspiring to destroy Living Single and the few good black shows. If there was a re-make though, I could see Bow Wow or Chris Brown in it. :(

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        Living Single is THE most SACRED comedy show to have EVER been created on this earth! There is no way, no how anybody in their right mind can ever re-create/re-make/re-whatever that show! I watch it without fail at least once a week on youtube!!

        Max and Kyle were the bomb diggiry dot com!! She IS the funniest-like I TEAR up whenever I watch that show!

        • nillalatte

          I LOVED Living Single. Loved it! All the characters worked, and, yes, Max and Kyle were by far the most entertaining with their chemistry. :) I miss that show. ;(

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            Catch it on youtube Queeeeen!!!

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOHxfkeHF9s

            I swear Max’s crazy mirrors mine, down to a T!

            • Eric McD

              I mean… come on… Youtube? They play 4 hours worth of episodes every weekday morning on Oxygen. 4 hours…every weekday morning. Maybe you don’t live in America or don’t have cable but if you live in America you know it’s un-American to not have cable.

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                I live in a remote village!

                • Eric McD

                  Can’t be that remote you have internet.

                • Eric McD

                  Weave a satellite to the side of that hut and point it towards the North Star and get some of this American programming.

                  • Beautifullyhuman

                    Lmao

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    smh!!!! MSCHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    • http://crystalpyramidmeta.com mizChartreuse

                      I ALWAYS wondered how to spell that noise we make! “MSCHEW!” OMG this just made my morning, African Mami.

              • Aly

                I don’t have cable. Too expensive, not enough good shows to make it worthwhile *shrug*.

                • Eric McD

                  Un-American I say!

                  • kid video

                    Man…who needs cable, when you got Netflix…except for sports.

                    • Aly

                      Riiight. There are so many options to see quality shows or movies w/o cable.

                    • Eric McD

                      Uh…because Netflix is wack- Is The Wire on Netflix? Is Martin on Netflix. Are there any movies with people of color besides 70′s blaxploitation (entertaining as they are) and wack, straight to DVD messes, David E. Talbort stage plays and second run movies from the 90′s that nobody really wants to watch? Me and my girl were looking through Netflix for an hour today for something decent to watch. Nothing… I had to sit and have a conversation with her and it was all Netflix’s fault.

                    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                      I have to agree with Eric McD. Netflix sucks a$$.

                  • Kema

                    *Raises hand*

                    I also do not have cable. Who needs cable when you have internet? I will be watching ‘Girls’ tonight.

              • ivanesta

                for my fellow cable-less ladies & gentlemen, watchseries.eu has just about every season of every show ever made. and Eric, this includes The Wire & Martin in their entirety.

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Maxine Shaw
            Attorney at law
            Guilty
            innocent….

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

          “There is no way, no how anybody in their right mind can ever re-create/re-make/re-whatever that show!”

          Funny..because that’s exactly what NBC did with “Friends” a year after “Living Single” premiered!!!

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Perverted Alchemist:
            To steal my favorite PJack quote: WORD TO BIG BIRD!

        • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

          Living Single is THE most SACRED comedy show to have EVER been created on this earth! There is no way, no how anybody in their right mind can ever re-create/re-make/re-whatever that show! I watch it without fail at least once a week on youtube!!

          are you being sarcastic?

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            I can’t get into the Living Single hype. That show was just aiiiiight.

            • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

              LMAO@ WIP exactly i thought i was missing something

            • Kema

              Agree! It didnt seem that special but I watched every week.

            • http://www.heavenlyglow.net HeavenlyGlow

              I was thinking the same thing Girlfriends was my show

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            not in the least! Love that show!!!

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            i’m curious about that as well. while i do like Living Single, i forget it exists when I’m not watchign a re-run. i mean, it didn’t get totally weird like Girlfriends from season 3 on…but i dont know that it was that transcendent either.

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              Jammy Jams, curiosity KILLED the cat!

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        Yes – I DO NOT want a remake – I think remakes cheapen the original. But the idea – a bunch of successful Black women navigating love and careers – I need that on TV. *cough*Doesn’tLizRunACompanyThatDoesThat*cough*

        • Kidsister

          Girlfriends was a good show

          • Beautifullyhuman

            Until Toni Childs (Jill Marie Jones) left.

            • That Ugly Kid

              Yes! Toni was the only reason why I started watching that show. Then I discovered the donk Tracee Ellis Ross was holding back there I thought I hit the jackpot. Once Toni left I wasn’t as interested anymore. Her shallowness and such is what brought forth a lot of the comedy on the show. But man was she GORGEOUS!!! Just flat out GORGEOUS!!! The lips!!! The hips!!! Everything!!! Gaaahhh!!!!! Im sorry, but I just LOVE chocolate women. Nothing against the Rapper’s Kryptonite (light-skinned sistas) but I love dark skinned women.

              • Beautifullyhuman

                You’re so awesome for the chocolate sistas comment! ;-)

                • http://www.heavenlyglow.net HeavenlyGlow

                  I second that!

                  • Eric McD

                    The wack thing about chocolate sisters is that when a man such as myself tries to holla at them they really act like they shouldn’t be getting holla. Like they try to act like there must be something wrong with the man for the him trying to holla at them. It’s almost like an “I don’t need your pity/charity holla” kind of vibe. Me personally, I love all shades of women and the dark brown ones really get my mind racing with lust. But getting them to feel like they deserve the attention that I’m showing them is always an issue.

                    • A Woman’s Eyes

                      That is utterly flucked up that this is their response.

                    • Justmetheguy

                      Ehh, I see this sometimes, but this hasn’t been the case for the majority of my experiences with darker sistas. They usually tend to be more down to earth than the yellow bones though (and I mean down to the earth as a compliment fyi). Whoever brought up how dark-skinned men are the equivalent of redbone women in black women’s eyes was spot on. Both get hyped beyond my comprehension, but alas it is what it is (now that I heard a few commenters mention how much they hate that phrase I’m gonna use it relentlessly from now on lol)

                    • BeautifullyHuman

                      @ Eric MD

                      Really? They actin’ like that? That’s hella whack on their part.

                      “I love all shades of women and the dark brown ones really get my mind racing with lust.”

                      Chocolate girls gettin’ love today…lol.

                    • Eric McD

                      “Chocolate girls getting love today” is part of the problem. IMHO- It’s like chocolate females are astounded when a man shows them love of says something nice. Not all choc. chicks but in a social environment they seem IMHO to feel unworthy of the praise and seem suspicious when I try to meet them.

              • kid video

                Im sorry, but I just LOVE chocolate women. Nothing against the Rapper’s Kryptonite (light-skinned sistas) but I love dark skinned women.

                Every male R&B singer/rapper has a song talkin’ bout how they love “redbones chicks”…and every female R&B singer/rapper wants something, “tall, dark and chocolate”.

                Blk women say they dont like this type of thinking…but still shake their thangs to these songs in the club…riddle me this someone?

                BTW…I brought the (Supermodle)Alek Wek book, based on her life in the Sudan…great read…would make a great film.

                • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

                  “Blk women say they dont like this type of thinking…but still shake their thangs to these songs in the club…riddle me this someone?”

                  Conditioning?

                • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                  “Blk women say they dont like this type of thinking…but still shake their thangs to these songs in the club…riddle me this someone?”

                  We disagree with the sentiment but IRL brown-skin stay pulling- and also there’s alcohol in the club- and black people have to move when we hear drums- all that.

              • Eric McD

                Jill Marie Jones was by far the finest of the friends. Man the titays. Them jumbo flappers was thanger. Her tall a$$ was on notice. I would caress that….TMI. But the only other chick on their worth a damn to me was the lame dudes stalker girlfriend. She was a short chocolate treat.

              • Preacha

                I just LOVE chocolate women. Nothing against the Rapper’s Kryptonite (light-skinned sistas) but I love dark skinned women.
                +1,000,000
                Now that ratcher is the truph!!!! Oftentimes redbones and yellabones are living off of skintone alone…and would look funny if you photoshopped or darkened their skin. But most beautiful darkskinned sistas would still be beautiful even if you colored them purple or pastel pink!

            • That Ugly Kid

              Yes! Toni was the only reason why I started watching that show. Then I discovered the donk Tracee Ellis Ross was holding back there I thought I hit the jackpot. Once Toni left I wasn’t as interested anymore. Her shallowness and such is what brought forth a lot of the comedy on the show. But man was she GORGEOUS!!! Just flat out GORGEOUS!!! The lips!!! The hips!!! Everything!!! Gaaahhh!!!!! Im sorry, but I just LOVE chocolate women. Nothing against the Rapper’s Kryptonite (light-skinned sistas) but I love dark skinned women.

              • demondog06

                fa real tho…
                maxine shaw was the only reason i watched living single….

                lauren hill was the only reason i cared about the fugees…

                that chick that played DMX’s girl in belly caused me to carry a bottle of baby oil on me at all times, ready to squirt it randomly at choco-lat gals……

                2 of my 3 legitimate x-girlfriends have all been dark skinned bohemians…..

                although i could care less when black girls date white men, i’d be a liar if i said that i wasn’t heart broken when i learned that bria myles exclusively dates white dudes

    • Da Iceman

      The 2012 equivalent to ‘Livin’ Single’ = Single Ladies, ha

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    How I was first introduced to “Girls.” I think this sums it up: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2uhr0GxBF1qadtklo1_500.jpg

    • Breezy

      And this didn’t resonate with you?!?!? LMBO!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      “born on third. think they hit a triple.”

      if THAT ain’t some super clever sh*t, i don’t know what is. that was great <—THATS WHAT CHRIS BOSH SAID.

  • demondog06

    ” Aggressively average “

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      Right. Thats kinda like “extra-medium”.

      • Justmetheguy

        ” Aggressively average “ Yeah man, that was by far the best insight of the entire post.

      • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

        LOL, a friend of mine used to call it “extra-regular”

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          extra-regular a**es is a hood classic.

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Right, that kilt me. I kinda want there to be a TV show called that now.

      • demondog06

        aren’t you a writer?
        this has web series written all over it

        make it happen……….

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          You KNOW I got that in my mental mind. Maybe I’ll give Damon “executive producer” credit so he won’t sue me. ;)

  • http://www.BlackLatinaFabulous.wordpress.com Maris

    This is true.
    That is all.

  • Dash

    During an interview with Tavis Smiley during the brouhaha about The Help, Viola Davis expressed the sentiment that Black artists are handcuffed because there work has to be all things to all Black people. If a Black ‘Girls’ was made it would have to cover the entire totality of the black female experience, and be watered down in the process, or it could just end up being mediocre like ‘Girlfriends’ or ‘The Game’.

    • whostolethesoul1

      +1, that’s the pressure Tyler Perry feels…w/all 8,000 story lines in every movie. He’s like a DJ who can’t mix…smdh

      • Eric McD

        +1 on TP- To many disconnected storylines. A DJ that can’t mix?- ARGH- I hate when the DJ can’t mix. It’s annoying to get dropped records back to back.

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

          As a fromer DJ, those cats are as annoying as those Serato cats (NOTE: You are not a real DJ if you do not have vinyl!) or those laptop DJ’s (I’m loking at you, dubstep and trance DJ’s).

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        well Spike lee tried the many disconnected storylines with “She Hate Me”. maybe thats his beef with Tyler Perry…Spike tried making a sh*tty arse movie and nobody liked it. and TP’s been making the same type of movie..only more relatable.

        • whostolethesoul1

          Spike Lee’s audience is very different than TPs: (1) education, education, education, therefore Spike Lee has to live up to much higher standards (good or bad) (2)TP’s stories are very, very basic and are hood complex (usually solved by one person overcoming some basic sh*t). The key to life is to have options available.

      • truetruthjr

        Perry doesn’t deserve that much credit. Tyler Perry just can’t tell a story. He doesn’t even know that he’s trying to tell 8,000 stories. His movies are rambling, plagiarized hack jobs that reflect no technological movie making skill, either.

        • whostolethesoul1

          ergo, education, or lack thereof (wonder if he has someone, any ol body) who might’ve mentioned this to him

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      the sentiment that Black artists are handcuffed because there work has to be all things to all Black people

      Very true and central to the problem we’re discussing.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, A.O.M

      I remember that interview. She also told Tavisssssssssssss that he or anyone else didn’t have to approve of the roles that she or any black actress takes. I guess that puts her on the Soul Patrol’s s**t list.

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

        Well…she won’t be invited to the Image Awards anytime soon, LOL!

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com Wu Young, Agent of M.E.

          Oh dear, Viola won’t get to eat mini-quiche at Image Awards after party with Eddie Glaude and Tavisssssssss. Whatever will she do?

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

            Play another role as a maid? LMAO!!

            • Breezy

              BOL! You are a fool PA and iCant with you today. Viola will go down in history even if its for this alone: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important”

              • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

                I wonder if Viola is allgeric to playing any Black characters in movies based after 1970?

                • A Woman’s Eyes

                  hahahahahahha

                • Rewind

                  NNo, I doubt that, it’s just that she’s not attractive enough by Black standards to be antying else in a movie where she isn’t a blatant stereotype.

              • Kema

                SMDH…

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “During an interview with Tavis Smiley during the brouhaha about The Help, Viola Davis expressed the sentiment that Black artists are handcuffed because there work has to be all things to all Black people.”

      So, true. This is my MAIN beef with Hollywood… like… a white movie … doesn’t exist. It just is. I am awaiting the day when a Black movie can just be… a movie. I mean, basically, you can put a Black cast in ANY white movie with the SAME situations and all of a sudden it’s not relatable? GTFOH.

      I actually think “Think Like A Man” did this successfully. In that it was a mainly Black ensemble cast but it wasn’t seen as just a Black film. It was a relatable movie to anyone. Plus, their marketing was bawse, so… lol

      • Breezy

        + 1…Think Like A Man made me wanna put on my “In Ya Face” t-shirt!

      • Rewind

        Only because it was based off a book that was accepted by a wide audience and though some of the trailers looked coonish..the movie was not.

  • Guest

    Great piece. One thing–cable is not governed by the FCC like over-the- air programs.

    • http://twitter.com/wavecapwillis Wave Cap Willis

      Yes. Especially on HBO, where there’s no such thing as a “wardrobe malfunction.”

      • Justmetheguy

        Wave Cap Willis is back!!!! I was just about to ask where you went man. How’s the web series goin? I remember waiting patiently for episode 3 but it didn’t show up fast enough so I forgot about it. We need more Boron the Negromancer on this site too lol

        • Kema

          Yummy!

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        * dances a two-step because Wave Cap Willis is back! *

  • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

    I am a fan of GIRLS. I get what the show is about. I see it on the same level as Issa Rae’s ABG. Both show gives a view of the average life most of us live as we try to find our way through the maze of life.

    • Yoles

      I agree I think the show is funny & the character flaws are real… I don’t care that there aren’t any black characters… Not every white person even has the token black friend, so its realistic to me, besides if they did have a black girl she wud be one of two things a) a black white girl or 2) homegirl like that doesn’t fit in, both of which would have black ppl moaning, groaning & gnashing teerh

    • Yoles

      I agree I think the show is funny & the character flaws are real… I don’t care that there aren’t any black characters… Not every white person even has the token black friend, so its realistic to me, besides if they did have a black girl she wud be one of two things a) a black white girl or 2) homegirl like that doesn’t fit in or is some kind of cool black person caricature both of which would have black ppl moaning, groaning & gnashing teeth

    • Royale W. Cheese

      I’ve only seen bits and pieces of “Girls” and appreciate what they’re doing with the show. I’m on board with P’s sentiments.

      I was just about to mention Awkward Black Girl. The main character is not skinny (while magically fat at the same time in all of the black male approved zones), doesn’t don long flowing hair, and isn’t high yellow or acceptably cinnamon toned. Not only is the most overtly religious character on the show the butt of a long-running joke, her implicit past s3xual exploits are marginal and treated as unsurprising, not sensationalized like they would be i a T.P. flick. Definitely not BET worthy.

      ABG hits the same level of courage as Girls *sometimes*. There was the drunken s3x scene with A in season one, and the painfully awkward drunk dancing/ beer goggles scene that preceded the s3x.

      I think an authentically “black” version of Girls is possible, but as PJ described, it would be killed by all kinds of antagonistic forces.

      • Royale W. Cheese

        Sorry…replace “PJ” with Champ.

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

    I think this type of show with a Black cast could be made as a web series. But in the real world if a Black filmmaker/ writer tried to sell this show no one would buy it. It would be considered too smart and not stereotypical enough. It would have to be “ghettoized” to have a chance to be made.

    • whostolethesoul1

      +1

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      +1

    • Cali

      so sad, so TRUE :(

    • http://taterwithak.blogspot.com K. Marie

      +1,000

      I went to dinner with one of my friends this weekend. Sure, we talked about dating and relationships, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. We discussed spirituality, the whole “holy crap, I’m about to turn 30″ crisis and so much more. And contrary to popular belief, we left a good tip.

      As I left, I couldn’t help but think this is my reality; so vastly different from what is shown as “reality” on television these days. I have never felt the urge to jump across a table and pull hair. SMH

      • Kema

        *pulls K. Marie’s hair after thowing a strawberry martini barely missing her face*

        Now you have been inducted into reality. :-) *dismissive wave* girl this happens to me every week.

        • http://taterwithak.blogspot.com K. Marie

          LOL! I think I got a windmill in me somewhere. I need to enroll in a Ratchet Kickboxing class or something.

          Yo….that’s actually a GREAT business idea! It’s mine, so don’t y’all try to steal it! LOL

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

      Once again, Hollywood deals two kinds of reality- the real world outside of Hollywood, and the real world that only exist to the studio executives.

      • whostolethesoul1

        it’s not just studio executives, it’s really is truly a culture. There are a great many people who are literally raised to believe that others cultures are very, very different. What is so incredible is that we all deal with parents, kids, marriage (to women or men), divorce, and of course, death. There are cultural differences: for example how we view religion or crime, but they’re still community issues (funny are the similarities in a multicultural neighborhood). I find that people who aren’t exposed to other cultures are suprised to find that culture X isn’t ___ because its was assumed from the standpoint of ignorance, even when TV isn’t a factor.

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

      it might have to be ghettoized.. because why?
      not because thats the only thing hollywood wants to see
      but because hood audiences go out and support what they like with no apologies.
      however we as EBP’s are the ones with the petitions and the extra unnecessary as.s commentary about how and why it aint realistic what it should do, better do and why it can never be true
      the truth is that so many of us dont want to admit that we are every black person we like to think we are special we like to look at white shows and talk about how and why we are more like them than we are like us
      we like to see and view everything that discusses the black experience as stereotypical.
      but thats a whole other issue.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        “it might have to be ghettoized.. because why?
        not because thats the only thing hollywood wants to see
        but because hood audiences go out and support what they like with no apologies.”

        Lol. So it hasn’t been Hollywood that has stereotyped us in film and in TV since the inception of both, it’s actually been us? And Hollywood all this time has wanted to make honest portrayals of us and we said no?

        “however we as EBP’s are the ones with the petitions and the extra unnecessary as.s commentary about how and why it aint realistic what it should do, better do and why it can never be true…”

        So we shouldn’t complain. We should just be happy with however Hollywood portrays us?

        It’s apparent to me that you don’t quite understand how media works and the societal impact of media. As an unfavored minority we have and continue to be stigmatized in the media. And as much as we push back against this, making small gains, imagine how we would be portrayed if we didn’t push back.

        • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

          I am not saying that in the least, . I definitely think the media has fallen in love with the biased portrayal of black people. They beleive the hype.I think that they settle for what is easy But what what makes it “easy” has more to do with US and what WE will and wont support than it is about only the fact that they are pushing an anti black stereotypical agenda all of the time.

        • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

          So we shouldn’t complain. We should just be happy with however Hollywood portrays us?

          It’s apparent to me that you don’t quite understand how media works and the societal impact of media. As an unfavored minority we have and continue to be stigmatized in the media. And as much as we push back against this, making small gains, imagine how we would be portrayed if we didn’t push back

          Not sure whats apparent to you.. youve made several huge leaps in your analysis of my statement however I never said we shouldnt complain nor is that the point i was trying to make.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

            You said; “however we as EBP’s are the ones with the petitions and the extra unnecessary as.s commentary about how and why it aint realistic what it should do, better do and why it can never be true…”

            Isn’t that saying that we complain too much and shouldn’t?

            • Justmetheguy

              I’m wit u Shay. We (ie yall lol) do complain too much. The apporiate course of action imo would be to take it to the web and make your own series or support the good web series that exist (and tell a friend, cause I’m lookin for some myself). At the very least they could stop watchin the ridiculous sh*t that exists on tv and in movies.

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

                “The apporiate course of action imo would be to take it to the web and make your own series or support the good web series that exist..”

                First, how many people have the skill to make a web series? Lol The average person obviously can’t do that. Second, if you are consuming a product how is it that you don’t have a right to critique it? Black people “complain” because we’ve been the victim of outrageous stereotyping in the media. You make it seem is if we have no basis for not being happy with media portrayals of us.

                • Aly

                  “First, how many people have the skill to make a web series?”

                  Doesn’t take much skill. I’d wager that most people nowadays know how to pick up a video camera (hell, even a good cell phone), can learn some basic editing skills and can upload a video to YouTube. That’s all it takes. Will the production value be outstanding? Not at first, but that comes with time. An engaging story and a fan base is really all it takes.

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

                    Since it’s so easy to make one I look forward to seeing your web-series, Aly. :-)

                    • Aly

                      Maaan, if I had an interesting story to tell I would definitely do it! I just jumped in on that point because I have a background in broadcasting and have seen firsthand how much video technology has advanced over the past 10 years. Cameras are smaller, easier to use. That, coupled with sites like YouTube have made it ridiculously easy for people to tell their stories.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

                      Yep@Aly, it’s definitely more accessible now with digital cameras and Macs.

              • whostolethesoul1

                exactly, we don’t even have to reinvent the wheel—>support the good sh*t (like “the couple” on youtube or ABG) and nix the bad (with your attention and $$$$). Just complaining has never solved sh*t, it yields negative results.

            • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

              You said; “however we as EBP’s are the ones with the petitions and the extra unnecessary as.s commentary about how and why it aint realistic what it should do, better do and why it can never be true…”

              Isn’t that saying that we complain too much and shouldn’t?

              NO
              its saying what it said. i didnt provide any instruction as to what you should or shouldnt do.

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

                Lmao@Shay

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      yep

  • b sweet

    I watch this show. I love it so much. I agree that the theme of the show transcends race, which seems to be easier to get away with when the race exploring the theme is white, but I digress.
    Like Many aspects of our cultural identity, black sexuality has not been appropriately defined by us. As we attempt to reclaim and define our sexuality, the process would be hindered by images conjured by the media or having to field ridiculous questions like, “is it true black girls don’t like to give head” (which I was asked recently by a white female co worker)
    Basically, until we get it together in our heads and find some balance between repressed prudes and hypersexual animals, we won’t be able to have it accurately depicted on a gritty show like Girls

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

      “As we attempt to reclaim and define our sexuality, the process would be hindered by images conjured by the media or having to field ridiculous questions like, “is it true black girls don’t like to give head” (which I was asked recently by a white female co worker)…”

      Why do you think we don’t own our sexuality? Just because some White people have strange stereotypical ideas about us doesn’t mean that we see ourselves through that lens. I think you are giving White people too much power and us not enough.

      • b sweet

        No, not solely because of that, but I do think it’s part of an overall cultural identity issue that we struggle with. It has historical context, religious context, and has fallen in the realm of the code of silence that we adhere to. We dont talk about sex. All of these things are inherent in our own community, not necessarily from the white man attempting to define us.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

          Yeah, I can agree with that. Many of us do have a difficult time talking about sex. I think much of that has to do with the hypocrisy that goes on in many Black churches regarding sex and that setting a general example for the larger community. We see but we don’t see and we definitely don’t talk about what we didn’t see. Lol If that makes sense.

          • Kidsister

            That makes total sense. I talked to my older cousin about some people’s ages in the family and how old their first born was/is and how certain people have kids that just kind of appear out of nowhere. I have one of those families that certain things you just don’t talk about. If it doesn’t make sense, oh well. It’ll never make sense. Sex is just one of those taboo topics with my family (one side anyway).

          • b sweet

            Makes total sense

      • http://www.twitter.com/Bmorebmw Tentpole

        Val at one time it wasn’t a stereotype. Before Vanessa Del Rio, no was the offical answer after Vanessa the question stopped being asked. Now when that question comes up, it’s just to get a reaction becasue what they are really asking is are you as good as Janet Jacme.

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

          *walks away from Tentpole and acts as if I’m way too young to rememer those names*

          • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

            *remember

    • http://twitter.com/think2inspire Think2Inspire

      <>

      WHAT!? Where doth they conduct this behavior? Your cowoker is one brave woman. I didn’t even know this was a stereotype until I started reading VSB, which just so happens to be around the time Plies released “Becky.” Maybe Florida is filled eager women of all races or we just rachet but never heard that here.

      • b sweet

        T2I, she was my partner and we were cool, so I honestly wasn’t offended. Just a reminder of those stereotypes about what black women do and won’t do being alive and well

    • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

      Well there’s A Good Day to be Black & Sexy. It’s a rarity (no philly) though.

      • Eric McD

        That movie is well made but MAD SLOW!

        • Yonnie 3000

          I haven’t seen that movie (yet) but I subscribe to Black & Sexy TV on YouTube (and you should too!!). I LOVE their show The Couple! They should be just as popular as ABG* (no shade). http://tinyurl.com/ce4oeaw

          *I will continue to promote this show like I own stock in it until this happens. This is gonna take a while b/c I just looked & they have 9k subscribers to Issa’s 10 million.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          i agree. it did take a while to develop. folks kept telling me how great it was and i just don’t agree. not that it wasn’t good or didn’t have its good features.

          but i’m also not on the, “not ignant so its good” bandwagon either. just cuz shit was shot with a different camera doesn’t make it not shit.

    • Aly

      “Basically, until we get it together in our heads and find some balance between repressed prudes and hypersexual animals, we won’t be able to have it accurately depicted on a gritty show like Girls”

      Yes! So true. This reminds me of the book “Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America” by Melissa Harris-Perry, which is all about the Jezebel, Mammy and Sapphire stereotypes Black women face– great book.

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      I think GIRLS transcends race on a general level (i.e. trying to make a f*ck buddy a boyfriend) but not on a specific level (i.e. black women may go about doing this differently than the way the white women in the show do). I enjoy the show, and for the most part champion its characters. Honestly some of the writing is bad in some places, a lot of the acting is bad in other places (i.e. there is no acting–people are really just playing themselves on camera) so it’s not as if I am evaluating a 100% solid piece of work to sit around and complain about why it falls short in the race relations category. I’m just interested in seeing where it goes.

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

        “Honestly some of the writing is bad in some places, a lot of the acting is bad in other places (i.e. there is no acting–people are really just playing themselves on camera)”

        That’s pretty much par for the course on anything that has Judd Apatow’s name attached to it (See: “Bridesmaids”, for example).

      • Icon814

        “there is no acting–people are really just playing themselves on camera”

        My goodness I’ve been saying this forever and ever. Then I get jealous since they make so much money to basically be themselves on camera.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Basically, until we get it together in our heads and find some balance between repressed prudes and hypersexual animals, we won’t be able to have it accurately depicted on a gritty show like Girls

      This!

      Yes, the media stereotypes of Black sexuality are real and deep. However, a lot of Black people play into those stereotypes to the point where it becomes a point of warped pride. Black people feel so out of control (and for good reason) in their day-to-day lives that they’re afraid to just let go and let it be in the bedroom. The result is that all that pain gets carried into and acted upon in the bedroom. Keeping it real, a lot of Black people have a problem just being sexual.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com Val

        “However, a lot of Black people play into those stereotypes to the point where it becomes a point of warped pride”

        Mass media is the most powerful brainwashing tool ever conceived, Todd. So those who consume it without that knowledge and without any sort of filter, may and sometimes do, begin to imitate what they see. Sad, but true.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

          It’s sad but true, Val. Many people don’t even understand that the roots of the sexual stereotypes were attempts by elite White men to justify their humping around while preventing Black men or White women trying to do likewise. However, since a lot of people don’t know their history, and the few that do are using it to protect their own interests, there’s no group advocating for hearing the whole story.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          ” Mass media is the most powerful brainwashing tool ever conceived, Todd. So those who consume it without that knowledge and without any sort of filter, may and sometimes do, begin to imitate what they see. Sad, but true.”

          Yes!!!

  • That Ugly Kid

    I saw a few episodes of Girls. They were pretty funny for the most part. However, I don’t really watch it because there are a bunch of shows I’m trying to catch up on. I gotta marathon True Blood to see what the hype is about, not to mention the black chick on there is really pretty so that helps. I also gotta marathon Game of Thrones to see what the fuss is about. I also gotta marathon Walking Dead. So yea, Girls looks interesting, but not interesting enough to marathon, especially with every thing else I gotta marathon.

    Sidenote: I think some people made a big fuss over the amount of nudity Game of Thrones had. In it’s 2 seasons GoT has like 16 minutes of nudity. I laughed. Obviously these people have never seen the Spartacus series. Hell, it’s MINI-series (which was 6 episodes) had more nudity in it than GoT 2 seasons combined. But…we’ll see if True Blood is worth the hype and enters my Top 5 series of all time:

    1. Spartacus
    2. House
    3. The Wire
    4. Heroes
    5. CSI: Investigation

    • JW

      Spartacus! Spartacus!

      If you haven’t watched yet, try Breaking Bad and The Shield.