Why The Hell Do People Bring Dogs To Work? » VSB

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Why The Hell Do People Bring Dogs To Work?

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Are you a dog person? I’m not. I’m also not not a dog person. I like animals. I like dogs. I’ve had cats and dogs. Animals rock.

You know what doesn’t rock? Animals running amok through work hallways. But that shit has happened at my place of employment before. Somebody thought it was okay to let motherfucking Fido run through our motherfucking work hallways without ANY thought of the fact that some people might be afraid of dogs or perhaps allergic, or more importantly, not want to walk into a common hallway and run into a random ass golden retriever lookin’ around like, “what up, nigga?”

Actually, I don’t think that’s what a golden retriever running around my hallways would say. I think it would be more like, “ howdy, kiss me in my mouth you European descendant you!”

Every single time I see a dog in my building or some person clearly walking to work with a non-service dog, I wonder just why in the fuck they’re bringing Mr. Peabody to work. And as much as I want to call this a white thing, and thus, I wouldn’t understand, I can’t because I’ve seen white, black, brown, yellow, Puerto Rican, and Haitian, rolling up to the trabajo with some accessory ass dog in a caged bird ass purse like thing with VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE written all over it.

In the words of Luvvie (and Blackness everywhere, though Tupac was a lie for I am not God), I’m judging you.

What gives though? Why for come do dogbringers bring their damn dogs to work? Yes, I’m looking at you. I know some of you people have done this. Listen, unless motherfucking Mr. Smittens is going to help me bust a move on these cost estimates, what is your dog doing here? Half of you niggas work in cubicles AN-T-WAY. Who authorized this? Bueller?

I love me some animals. I like going to the zoo when the weather is nice and while I’ve had a quiet 20 year war with squirrels (I’m technically losing because I swear I see squirrels trying to Geico commerical my ass and I can’t in good faith kick squirrels), I kind of appreciate the rats with bushy tails for their absolute arrogance. In my mind, I think all squirrels are really Black people come back as animals exacting vengeance and payback on motorists and roof insulation. Real spit, end of days, fam? Squirrels, roaches and Wall-E are all that’s left.

Back to Clifford Goes To Work, I’ve really tried to think of logical, reasonable reasons, for a dog to hang at the jay-oh-bee. And honestly, I can’t think of any good reasons. Most people leave their dogs at home during the day while they’re twerking for a check. Now, if your home is being fumigated, okay. Chances are pretty small that’s happening, but I mean, I do have a heart. Other than that I have almost nothing. I guess maybe if your AC goes out and your dog would be stuck at home in the summer heat all day long, that’s no bueno. So maaaaaaybe. But I’m really mostly at a loss. I think people think that shit is cute and it.is.not.

Listen, I get nervous bringing my KIDS – well, only my oldest ever comes to my job during workdays – to work and I keep her out of the way of the general population. She comes into my office, chills with pens, paper, books, and sometimes an iPad or tablet of sorts so she can Netflix and chill while I get my Excel on. And I don’t even like doing that because I feel like once or twice is okay, but too many times and it becomes unprofessional. We’ve got work to do at work and shit, b.

But animals? Pets? Puppies? Doggies? What in the name of Lassie makes that shit okay or make sense.

I’m a reasonable man and my home is full of many leather bound books (it actually is, my Godfather had a collection and he willed it to me when he passed, take that bitches) so I’m willing to try to understand, but it’s a hard sell.

Inquiring minds would like to know, why the hell do (you) people bring your dogs to work?

QTNA.

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • kingpinenut

    I have nada to add to this thread

    #dogs&yoga – *redacted*

  • Michelle is my First Lady

    A coworker brought his dog in because he lived an hour away and I guess he needed to take it to the vet right after work. He put up a small gate at the entrance of his cubicle so the dog couldn’t get out. The dog was a little ankle biter too… so he “yipped” (barked) all damn day.

    SN: If your dog is NOT a service animal DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT bring him into a restaurant. I saw a woman bring her dog in a restaurant IN A STROLLER and had the nerve to take the dog out and place him/her on top of the table! There, vent over lol.

    • Jae Starz

      No she did not! Did you ask for a manager?

      • Michelle is my First Lady

        Sure did! They asked the woman to place the dog back in the stroller or she had to leave.

        • Cheech

          “Or?” Clearly should have been “and.”

          I have seen way too many dogs in strollers lately.

          • Michelle is my First Lady

            It should have been but I guess she was a paying customer so… they had to be nice. Me? I would have kicked her out a long time ago.
            Yeah, the dogs in strollers kill me. If you don’t let those little critters walk.

    • PDL….HE still working on me

      I will make a beeline to the manager if I see dogs in the grocery store. If I see one in a restaurant and everyone (i.e. employees) are cool, no one having a stroke, I’m leaving.

    • Love Heals

      Mouth agape. I was not ready for these anecdotes!

  • miss t-lee

    This is some PEAK *points to inside of hand* behavior.
    I love dogs, I’ve owned a few in the past, however they’re dogs. Not human. Folks who don’t understand the line between man and beast concern me. Seriously.
    They don’t need to travel everywhere you go, do they really know if you took them to work or not?
    Can’t stand this sh*t. My office better not never. It’s bad enough when I’m dealing with rugrats that don’t listen for sh*t, and now a dog that I don’t know, and doesn’t know me?
    NOPE.

    • Jae Starz

      Ooooooh! I thought I was the only one that pointed to the inside of my hand when talking about “others”. LMAO!

      But seriously, I agree. As bad as when they talk about their dogs when you’re talking about your kids. Ma’am if you don’t go somewhere.

      • miss t-lee

        My coworker took off work because her dog had surgery. And then came in and proceeded to tell me about said surgery while almost crying. I’m not built for this.
        I ain’t never had a dog that had surgery. If the dog was that ill he was put down. That’s just the country in me, I guess.

        • Michelle is my First Lady

          I just found out my cat needs to have surgery (she has an autoimmune disease that is causing her to get sick), I legit cried and considered having the surgery but it is a solid $1500. I never thought an animal would make me upset… but man, she’s like my baby. lol.

          • miss t-lee

            I had a puppy that had parvo. They wanted $5k for the treatment. I cried like a baby but I said goodbye.

            • Michelle is my First Lady

              I just let out the ugliest laugh lol. Yeah, if it came down to it (and it might happen) I’ll have to put her down too. $1500 is nothing to sneeze at.

              • miss t-lee

                It sure isn’t. That’s a lot of money for an animal. I’m sorry about your cat.

            • Regina

              Growing up my father was convinced that if our dogs got sick, they knew what type of grass or plant to eat to get better. If they didn’t get well from self-medicating then he feed them a raw egg. If they didn’t get better from that, we found that they had “run away” while we were at school!

              • miss t-lee

                I swear we had the same father…lol

                • Regina

                  Girl don’t say that. My siblings and I have already practiced what we would say if someone showed up claiming birthright!

                  • miss t-lee

                    LMAO!!!
                    I’m sure not technically, but this is the same kind of sh*t my Pops does.
                    And my siblings and I are the exact same, I’ve already told him bet not nobody else show up.

              • Mochasister

                Oh, you had that “take them on a gangsta ride” father. I had one of those too. That’s how we lost our cat.

              • I was an adult when I learned that Pepper didn’t actually run away. Pepper used to kick.my.a$$. That cat would just bite and claw at me and I just kept trying to be nice to the damned thing. And then she ran away…

                aka we lived on the south side (Chicago) and they took it to the north side and…left it somewhere??

                • Regina

                  Oh no Ms. KS!!!!! Well, if she was industrious she might have crossed the border and could be living in the county with our dogs. We can believe that they are one big happy family living on a farm in S.E. Wisconsin.

              • GenevaGirl

                My mother told me, “Brownie missed her mommy.” It was years before I figured that one out.

            • Kat

              Pour out a lil liquor.

              • miss t-lee

                He was a sweetie.

            • Mochasister

              If I were filthy rich and didn’t have to worry about having a roof over my head, then I would do it.

              • miss t-lee

                Idk. The treatment doesn’t always work and there’s a slim chance of survival.

                • Mochasister

                  I know. But it’s so hard to see your little fur buddy suffering. I know some people go overboard with their devotion to their pets, but I would probably spend the money. No kids, no husband, and no mortgage gives me a little wiggle room with my finances. Not a lot mind you.

                  • miss t-lee

                    $5k wiggle room?

                    • Mochasister

                      Lol! Maybe I could start a Go Fund me account. I’m sure some wypipo would donate.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Bwhahaha

          • Queen@

            A couple of years ago my dog went to the emergency room on Christmas (at a box of Popeyes chicken). I seriously considered saying “peace out,” but as a “Christmas gift” the doc waived the emergency after hour fee (which was doubling the price). Yeah, we would of starting singing Crossroads right in the office if I had to pay full price.

          • cdj

            Sorry to hear about your cat. I once spent $450 on xrays for my dog after she was run over by a car, so I get it. My dog is like a (2nd class) family member.

          • Kat

            I told mine there is a cash limit. It’s $1000 over a lifetime, not to include shots. My coworker on the other hand shells out serious loot for her dogs. I mean eye removal surgery…the dang dog was blind. Died 6 months later anyway. She still paying that vet bill.

        • Jae Starz

          I guess I have some country in me too. LOL!

          • miss t-lee

            Coming up, my dogs went to vet for shots, and to get spayed/neutered and that was about it.

            • Jae Starz

              At least they went! I’m fairly certain my mom’s dog has cataracts but we will never know for sure.

              • miss t-lee

                Welp.

    • I wouldn’t mind a grown dog in the office. Don’t bring a puppy. Please don’t bring a lab puppy. You may as well bring a junkie into the office because the resulting damage property and furniture is the same.

      • miss t-lee

        Lab puppies are literally like goats in that aspect.
        Nothing is safe.

        • Pretty much. Just like a goat it’s going to look you dead in your eye and keep gnawing on whatever it is they grabbed.

      • Queen@

        If your dog can’t fit in a purse, it has no reason to come to the office. #TeamYorkie… he old, but he only 11 pounds.

        • Kat

          Mine is 7.5. Shih Tzu.

      • Gibbous

        Lab puppies not only destroy the office, but they destroy the concentration of anybody trying to do work in the office with their cuteness. Everybody’d be over by the dog instead of doing work.

    • You Know I’m Sawcy

      Someone needs a pupper snuggle…

      • miss t-lee

        I was chillin’ with bestie’s dog a few weeks back.

        • You Know I’m Sawcy

          Then stare into that wet nosey and see the light, my friend. Also, happy birthday if I missed yours. Cancer season personally makes me wonky apparently.

          • miss t-lee

            Did you miss the part where I said I love dogs? Just not running amok in the office.
            Thanks for the birthday wishes! Did I miss yours?

            • You Know I’m Sawcy

              lol No I saw that. But as a lover of dogs myself, I would put their food dish right over here in my cubicle.

              And nope, next Thursday. I thought you were an earlier Cancer than me. Hope it was great, t-bew.

              • miss t-lee

                Oooooh. big plans?

                • You Know I’m Sawcy

                  I really want to take a camping trip. But the coloreds in my life won’t let me be great.

                  • trying to get people eaten by bears while mosquitoes attack

                    • You Know I’m Sawcy

                      You finna be one of the coloreds holding me back, Richard.

                  • miss t-lee

                    See…I’d be one of the coloreds. Unless it’s glamping, I’d decline.
                    But you should go, it’s YOUR day!

                • You Know I’m Sawcy

                  What’d you do?

                  • miss t-lee

                    Kicked it with friends, went to dinner a new French diner. Let my folks love on me. It was a good week.

                    • You Know I’m Sawcy

                      Sounds lovely!! Glad you had a good week. You deserve.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Thanks chica.

    • NonyaB?

      *Cackles* You outchea spilling mah thoughts!

      • miss t-lee

        *daps*

  • cysinblack

    I think white celebrity elites made it a trend that the common dog lover decided they wanted to follow suit.

  • Sweetest Cyn

    I’ll take fido over the kids. Every time school is on holiday or break a colleague brings her kids, I’m talking days at a time. They camp out in the break room and take naps on pallets. *side eye*. I’m pretty sure that would be frowned upon if it were me.

    • Queen@

      I really don’t mind the kids, but I’m a mom. Good work-life balance, especially if they aren’t in the way. Think about how desperate you must be for childcare if the only result you have is to bring your child to the office, amidst side-eyes. It’s loose your job or loose your kids, in where loosing your job could result in loosing your kid.

      • Sweetest Cyn

        I get it. I just know that those same allowances wouldn’t be made for everyone across the board.

    • siante

      I get annoyed when I see people’s kids at work- I’m not always in the mood to pretend I care about somebody elses child.

      • Kat

        I like kids. Don’t want them but I like them.

        • siante

          I like kids too, just not so much at work :/

      • AOM

        If it’s any consolation, the parent is likely annoyed at seeing their kids at work, too.

        • siante

          Lol!

  • I wouldn’t mind an office dog if they had the right amount of chill.

  • DCFem

    At a previous job a person brought his dog to work a few times and some of us expressed concerns about it. The boss said “it’s only occasionally and the dog is so cute.” Fast forward to the day the boss orders pizza for the office and that same dog hops on the table and proceeds to chow down on a slice. Not one of us went near the pizza she’d shelled out real, cash money for. Never saw that dog again in life.

  • DizzyLizzyGyal

    Never understood this. Yes, I like my dog, but that’s MY dog. Yours? I don’t know his wife, I don’t know his life. I don’t know if he’s havin a bad day and might snap at me, or is not used to seein Black folks and will growl at me.

    Worse yet, wypipo see ish like that and think it’s cute, “Oh, he’s just playing!” No. If Biscuit bites me, I’m suin EVERYBODY.

    • Malik

      If I had a dollar for every time a yt person said “oh, he/she’s friendly”, when their dog lunges at me I could retire by now. Plot twist, your dog is friendly, but I’m not. Get it off me.

      • In this one, I have to say All Dogs Matter. I’ve had plenty of Black people try to hit me with the “he/she’s friendly crap”. Ninja, STOP

      • miss t-lee

        I love dogs, but unknown dogs? That’s always iffy.

      • DizzyLizzyGyal

        For real. Even if Fido is friendly, what makes you think I want his attention. This all black outfit does not go well with dog hair, respect my space.

      • I agree with Malik.

  • Jocelyn

    Panama, promise me that you won’t teach your children to say “rats with bushy tails”. My mother has used the phrase for decades. It led to a (confused) toddler me running, screaming like a banshee, and locking a relative out of the house. The little acorn seeking buggers had me shook until kindergarten.

    • Mel

      I say rats with good P.R.

      • Jocelyn

        HAHAHAHAHA!

  • Rewind4ThatBehind

    Never seen a dog at work.

    But, for all my goofiness, I have an innate hatred for anyone carrying a dog in a bag. Ever.

    If murder was legal, that’s what primarily 92% of my murders would consist of.

    • Michelle is my First Lady

      What about a cat? Because you love coco,and if she let you you would carry her in a bag.

      • Rewind4ThatBehind

        Cats are different, mostly because people don’t usually let them out the house to begin with.

        And yes I love Coco, so she gets a pass. Although she did slap me in the face and I’m not sure if I’ve forgiven her yet.

        • Michelle is my First Lady

          It was a love tap. She slaps everybody in the face. You’re a favorite now.

          ETA: Apparently, walking cats is a thing now. They have harnesses in stores for your cat. WTH do I look like walking a damn cat?

          • I dog must have invented cat leashes. Cats must hate that.

          • Love Heals

            I was irked by this callous person walking a cat in a crowded dog park. The cat was understandably skittish.

          • Rewind4ThatBehind

            I saw this before.

            I was also high so I assumed my mind was playing tricks on me.

            • Michelle is my First Lady

              Haha

    • You Know I’m Sawcy

      I’ll strap my show dogs into child seats on the back of my moped then. Since you wanna be particular about my canine proclivities.

      • Rewind4ThatBehind

        I will never let you out of the house if this ever comes to fruition.

    • Personally, my beef with Michael Vick was the lack of efficiency in which he dealt with dogs, but…*sips tea*

      • Rewind4ThatBehind

        Not imaginative enough for you huh?

    • Diego Duarte

      Do you need an accomplice? Cuz I would like to pitch in on this.

      • Rewind4ThatBehind

        I’m always in need of an accomplice and good legal service my friend.

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