Why The Chris Brown, Drake, And Karaoke Love Triangle Is The Most Lightskinneded Thing We’ve Ever Seen This Week » VSB

Pop Culture, Race & Politics

Why The Chris Brown, Drake, And Karaoke Love Triangle Is The Most Lightskinneded Thing We’ve Ever Seen This Week

Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran (Noam Galai/Getty Images)

 

1. Because Drake — who, all things considered, is having perhaps the best year in lightskinneded history — is involved.

2. Because for all of the blatantly violent, sexist, and misogynistic music that has flooded our airwaves in the past half-decade, “Marvin’s Room” is easily the most lecherous. And, admittedly, the most genius. It’s a song sung by a person who doesn’t want a woman, doesn’t want her to know he doesn’t want her, but also doesn’t want her to want anyone but him. He is a fucking asshole. Basically, if this song were a person, it would be an eleven-year-old El DeBarge doppelganger with a shitty shadow stache and a “girlfriend” in each grade.

And, when a person creates a song like “Marvin’s Room,” flying his rival’s gf up to Toronto for gallery crawls and quiche is perfectly within his realm of possibility.

3. Because, considering the source, there’s a 92.4% chance Kaleidoscope and Drake never actually dated.

4. Because — and I’m going say this even though I know I shouldn’t say this — there’s a certain level of crazy that only lightskinneded men are able to achieve. It’s what happens when you combine legit crazy with the entitlement that comes with being told you’re cute your entire life and being overcompensatingly crazy because you’re aware lightskinneded guys are considered by many to be soft. Basically, you become Delonte West.

Chris Brown is lightskinneded crazy. And, when you’re lightskinneded crazy, things like “You know I cheated multiple times, but I’m mad at you for maybe, possibly cheating on me” make sense.

5. Because all of this happened on Instagram. Besides texturizer spray and the Durango boot, no invention has brought as much joy to lightskinneded men.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Discovery

    I have to give it to Drake,he is a true poacher

  • Shrugs

    What is with obsession on here over complexion? I don’t think it’s as much a reality for the artists mentioned or the rest of the world, as brought up here.

    • Damon Young

      We love all Black people. Dark, brown, light, New Black, etc. And we celebrate the fullness and richness of Blackness and shit. That included lightskinnededness

    • ChiefbutnotA_Keef

      Call me ignorant, but i had no idea there were perceived social differences between light and dark skinned blacks before the Internet. Even as a joke, i don’t like “lightskinnededness” as a concept. Idk.. maybe i just need to adjust my sense of humor

      • iamnotakata

        You must not live in the South because unfortunately there are and folks will quickly let you know down south…colorism is the norm there, however I don’t really concern myself with light and dark skinnedness. But I do find it fun to poke fun at the light skint and dark skint stereotypes from time to time as our friend Damon did on the post…lighten up folks

        • Meridian

          Why should dark skinned people have to lighten up??

          • iamnotakata

            LMAO…you’re joking right

            • Meridian

              Yes, lmao.

        • Carlton Jordan

          “lighten up folks” hahahaha i

      • Carlton Jordan

        once u get over yourself, you’ll find it funny,

        • ChiefbutnotA_Keef

          Didn’t know i had an ego problem, but ok.

      • Rachmo

        There’s no single definition for lightskint tendencies. You just know them when you see them. It just sort of washes over you and you say “wow, that was lightskint as h3ll.

        • Val

          Lol

        • menajeanmaehightower

          True story.

          • camilleblu

            menajean!!! i ain’t seent you in a month of sundays…how you doing?

            • menajeanmaehightower

              Doing fine. How are you? How’d your thanksgiving go?

              • camilleblu

                it was good hon. quiet and peaceful. how was yours?

      • ??Jessica??

        yh you do that… with all the serious issues happening now, lightskinnedness should not be the most offensive

    • iamnotakata

      Yall upset its going to be Monday tomorrow or something? I hear what you’re saying but his post was all in fun. I also don’t think this site focuses excessively on skin color I’ve been a reader/ poster since 09′.

      • BeautifullyHuman

        I’m upset it’s going to be Monday tomorrow. Lol. But, I agree with you. I’ve been a reader for nearly four years and I’m trying to recount the posts focusing on complexion and none come to mind. If anything, I would say bougie is a reoccurring topic, but complexion…naw.

      • ChiefbutnotA_Keef

        I wasn’t offended. Light skin, dark skin jokes are like ppl who use the term, “good hair” with quotations. They didn’t mean no harm. I get it.

    • none

      I dont think it’s lightskinned-ed either. B!tch@ssness as displayed by both Drake and Chris Brown comes in all colors. And the trolling described in Marvin’s Room is done by many of ex’s… light skinned, dark skinned, brown skinned, they all try it. (Ive seen some pretty funny “light skin n*ggas” memes.. but this list just isnt it for me)

      While we’re being critical, I also hate when black ppl (like we dont have some “creative” names) make no attempt to spell Karrueche’s name. It’s petty as hell. I expect if from teenage keyboard gangsters on #teambreezy and #rihnavy, but not from/for the VSB audience.

      Past my bedtime.

    • IcePrincess

      It’s tongue in cheek.

  • eyecande

    While I believe point 3 is likely, one does have to entertain the possibility that Drake did date Kahlua since he be on that, “No new friends. No new new…” #Drakehands

    • Kahlua lol

    • Discovery

      I think G-Eazy’s i mean it would be more appropriate here

      • IcePrincess

        That’s my jam lol!

  • “Basically, you become Delonte West.” Dead after that line

  • iamnotakata

    LMAO at this post..but not doubt Drake for the win in 2014 though…He told yall he was the lightskint Keith Sweat, he gets those draws lol

  • Meridian

    Being messy AF isn’t the slightest bit interesting to me. I don’t care.

    • Discovery

      AF ?

      • docellero

        as f*ck.

  • “Basically, if this song were a person, it would be an eleven-year-old El DeBarge doppelganger with a shitty shadow stache and a “girlfriend” in each grade.” <=== This sentence is exactly why I read VSB. Exactly why. It's the same reason I only eat the Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza when I eat at the California Pizza Kitchen. You just can't get it anywhere else! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

  • kidvideo

    Lite-skin ninjas for the win…im especially talkin bout myself.

  • Angel Baby

    This just made my night! Lol goodnight fool bwahaha

  • BeautifullyHuman

    All I want to know is do any of these ninjas date outside their social circle??? There’s like no degrees of separation when it comes to Black entertainers. I can only imagine the diseases these ninjas sharing.

    • I imagine they just pass each other around. I think that’s what happens to a degree to us regular folk too. You frequent the same social gatherings, conferences, bars, book stores, etc. and you’re bound to date people who used to date your people.

      • Discovery

        I hear you. This kept happening to a Dr pal of mine. It stopped when he joined MSF

        • What is MSF? Doctors without Borders?

          • Discovery

            Yes

          • Rachmo

            Medicins Sans Frontiers

        • Lea Thrace

          That stuff is rampant in MSF. When they are “deployed” all they do is run through each other.

          Source: Do gooder “ex” who is a dirty dirty dog.

          • Discovery

            Nothing hotter than frontier loving in lab coat

            • Lea Thrace

              I knew it was going to happen. Which is why “ex” is in quotes. I never made things exclusive with him precisely cause I knew exclusive had flexible definitions when he left for assignments. When you’re around that much pain and suffering you look for an escape.

        • Epsilonicus

          They sharing in MSF too

      • BeautifullyHuman

        They have to be passing all that community d*ck/p*ssy around. To your point, I would give them that if these celebrities didn’t have the world at their disposal. Unlike us regular folks, they get to constantly travel the WORLD. I find it hard to believe that with 7 billion folks in the world and money, these celebs can’t find new p*ssy to swim in or d*ck to hop on.

        • I think you’re giving these kind of celebrities far too much credit. Males of Chris Brown’s “caliber” (I use that term loosely) are far lazier than you think when it comes to dating and such.

          • BeautifullyHuman

            I’ll concede that point! Lol

            • I know a girl from school who had a brief romp with a guy in the industry. This led to her moving through the ranks of other men in said industry because she was a pretty, familiar face. Those men are looking for easily attainable buttt with good references lol Some girls luck up and latch onto guys when they’re ready to settle down though.

              • iamnotakata

                I just said something similar to this but my post is in moderation for some reason. But I agree that the celebs are lazy and these chicks have references…and look at Amber and trash Kardasian they got chose.

                • Discovery

                  It does not aways work rememeber Karrine

                  • iamnotakata

                    I know this but I’m saying some of the jump offs make it all the way.

                • Yea. These people don’t really have time to truly “date” in a traditional sense. I’m sure it’s easier to just get with the ex of another celebrity because they know the lifestyle and demands of the job. I can’t imagine these people dating folks from off the street unless they were with them before they became famous.

              • BeautifullyHuman

                It’s so funny you mention good references because I feel that in the age of social media discretion is now out the window. With the advent of ratchet reality tv and Mona Scott, these folks out here with no shame when it comes to their indiscretions.

                • Truth be told, many of them are doing the same dirt so they don’t care. I don’t even know if many of the celebs we’re thinking of care about being discreet. They are out here making chex tapes for sale. Smearing their ex online when things go south. What discretion? lol They just want people to be talking about them for the sake of being talked about. It seems like a sad existence.

              • SororSalsa

                So true. Years ago, I dated someone in the NBA, and when we split I found myself getting approached by other players. I had no intention of repeating that experience, but I guess those guys like to go back to the same watering hole for a new drink.

        • iamnotakata

          I agree but then when I think about it, it makes sense, they likely get bombarded by so many women and figure its easier to snatch chicks like kalechips because they already know how she is, based off what they’ve seen them do with whichever celebrity. But I personally just think light skint Keith just wants to dip his pudding pop in everything he can while he’s still hot.

        • You’re assuming that the regular world would treat them as just Chris and Aubrey instead of OMG IT’S CHRIS BROWN *BOY BAND SCREAMS*!!!!! If I were famous, I’d feel nervous about that.

          • Sarita Alexander

            LOL, yeah, I’m still calling aubrey lil jimmy. *shrugs*

        • Epsilonicus

          But again, the social circle is small. We talking about folks in the top 5% tax bracket. The travelling and hanging out with others in the same bracket.

          • BeautifullyHuman

            Most of the Black entertainers/athletes dating women in my tax bracket, if that. They all recycling the same bum bishes they find in the clubs/strip clubs. I think they just like easy p*ssy.

      • Tx10inch

        Yeah, but I’d definitely swim in the industry pool with this on…..

        • Since when were men who had access to funds and somewhat power eversmart about pu$$y? Men throw their livelihoods on the line for fresh tail lol

      • Meridian

        Nawl.

    • Well I mean when you don’t do anything outside of go to the exact same clubs in every city every other 20 and 30 something Black male rapper or R&B singer goes to you aren’t going to meet a large variety of women. The only other thing may be house parties where the exact same men and women + local Baller Alert women attend.

      • Pretty much, no matter what tax bracket you’re in, most people date within their social circle

        • And this was my point. Mrs. Obama ain’t out here playing babysitter to my cousin Henry’s bum behind, and for good reason.

      • BeautifullyHuman

        I see your point. I guess it’s about access, but I still have a hard time believing celebs have limited access to beautiful women given they actually DO work and travel more than most of us. I’m just thinking of all of the beautiful working women behind the scenes that aren’t necessarily in the club, but come to think of it…those types of women probably wouldn’t want these ninjas anyway.

    • Playing devil’s advocate, it would be hard as h3ll to date outside of that social circle. Like imagine Chris Brown just showing up to a regular club to meet some women. Between women thinking they hit the Lotto, women hating on them because they’re famous and think they’ll use that to get over on them and hating a$$ dudes who may have artillery, it’s safer just to stay in the circle of celebs. Not saying it’s smart, but it is human.

      • Considering Chris’s regular ninja comment, I would say he seems to like to date open box specials. I can see him linked to some waist training hostess before another celeb

        • IcePrincess

          DEAD @ waist training hostess!! ????

        • What’s wrong with an open box? LOL

      • Idk, I think it’d be far easier for him to date down than it would for a female celebrity. Fantasia can’t seem to stay away from regular men but I think that’s because she’ll forever have one foot stuck in the proverbial sewer.

        • Val

          Is it possible for Chris Brown to date down? I mean he’s a convicted felon woman beater. Unless he dates an axe murderer he’s dating up, IMO.

          • The thing is that there are women lining around the block to give that convicted felon some a$$. I would I was a catch if I were in his shoes. He can’t hear the judgment from the slurping on his peen.

            • Val

              Maybe so but I doubt any of them have anything going for them.

          • Shady boots this morning lol

          • halima229

            Excellent point. People act like Chris Fists of Fury Brown is some kind of prize

        • The problem is that a woman who would date a celebrity would have to be very secure in themselves to not flip over the possibility of him choosing some girl you saw on a magazine, but at the same time not make a celeb her come up. That woman would have to be a real catch as a human.

    • Val

      Lol Poor Matt Kemp. All he did was date Rhianna for 2 minutes and now he’s catching all of Chris Brown’s exes.

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