Why I Want T-Pain To Sing At My Wedding » VSB

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Why I Want T-Pain To Sing At My Wedding

Isaac Brekken/Getty Images for Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational

 

Not to brag about my life, but Wednesday night, I was in the same room eating chicken with T-Pain.

I was invited to a listening session for his new Gangsta Grillz mixtape, The Iron Way, which will be released on Friday.

This almost made up for the fact that I never got a chance to see T-Pain’s 42-song concert he put on at this year’s SXSW. I mean, you guys, look at the hits on this setlist. LOOK AT THEM!

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So yeah, my soul hurt when I missed that, but I wasn’t mad at the listening session. There’s some really solid records on the 21-song project, some of which have already hit the Internet. They even played his collaboration with Aaliyah, which rest assured, is better than you probably think it is. Ditto for the mixtape as a whole.

In between songs, veteran journalist Shaheem Reid and T-Pain held court at the front of the room in two separate chairs. They discussed what T-Pain had been up to since his last album, RevolveR (which came out in 2011) and other things like how that long-rumored album with him and Lil Wayne is not coming out anytime soon, even though they recorded many songs. Other interesting tidbits include what T-Pain is currently listening to, which is a lot of FKA Twigs, Sampha, and James Blake. He also laughed when asked if him and Kanye West have anything they’ve been working on. Kanye, T-Pain said, is way too famous for him these days.

I did not get a chance to ask T-Pain a question myself, but if I did I would have asked him how much does he charge to sing at weddings. I’m not getting married anytime soon, but I was at the listening session with my girl, and while waiting for the session to begin we talked idly about how T-Pain is one of our generation’s undeniable hitmakers. And as most unmarried couples tend to do when they have some idle time, I came up with this crazy hypothetical that if we can come up with a list of singers to perform at our wedding, can T-Pain be on the short list. “Of course,” she said, reminding me yet again why we are soulmates.

If you think I’m being hyperbolic by saying T-Pain would be the perfect wedding performer, hear me out.

This year marks the 10-year anniversary of T-Pain’s first hit song, “I’m Sprung.” That may make some of us feel old and self-proclaimed music purists uncomfortable. “I’m Sprung” sounded like one of those songs performed by artists who are good for one hit. No one really expected T-Pain to take off like he did, and I am sure there are plenty more who would like to act like he isn’t one of the most important artists of the past decade.

Unfortunately, those haters would be wrong.

Tell me about a party you have been to in the last 10 years where a T-Pain song wasn’t played so I can hear about the most boring party ever. Give me the number to the DJ who won’t play “Blame It” so I can lose that number.

When Jay-Z tried to take a stab at everything T-Pain stood for with “Death of Autotune” I had to chuckle at how much of a grumpy old man Jay sounded. Nobody wants to hear “Death of Autotune” over a song like “Bartender.”

Party records aside, T-Pain has also proven to be as formidable on slow jams. “Can’t Believe It” should be on all playlists you make for someone you love (the version with Justin Timberlake). “I’m N Luv (Wit A Stripper)” will make you believe there is no place too forbidden to find a soulmate. And who can forget the stripped down keyboard duo he performed last year for NPR’s “Tiny Desk Concert” series? That version of “Buy U A Drank” is two minutes and thirty seconds of special.

I can go on, but I don’t think I need to. If you can hear, you get the point. T-Pain has done nothing for the past 10 years but contribute a soundtrack to our good times. That is why I’m happy he’s back with some new material. That is why I pray he has a career as long as Frankie Beverly and Maze so I can go to his shows when I’m an old man and dance in a splendid all white linen outfit. That is why we should all hope, outside of the occasional break, T-Pain continues to make music because as long as a T-Pain song is playing, we are more than likely having a good time.

(Oh, and here’s a stream of The Iron Way. Because we all need more T-Pain in our lives.)

Jozen Cummings

Jozen Cummings is the author and creator of the popular relationship blog Until I Get Married, which is currently in development for a television series with Warner Bros. He hosts a weekly podcast with WNYC about Empire called the Empire Afterparty and he works at Twitter as an editorial associate. He lives in Harlem, graduated from Howard University, and grew up in Seaside, California. He cannot get you a blue check.

  • Sahel

    Imma buy you a drank…oohhhh

  • cake211

    you right though. i hate chris brown, but i will break my neck to go in on kiss kiss. and who doesnt still blame it on the alcohol?

  • cryssi

    I love reading, seeing, hearing odd love connections….reading, “can T-Pain be on the short list. “Of course,” she said, reminding me yet again why we are soulmates.” made my heart smile. It’s those little odd nuances that let you know who has hit the mark. I do not know either of you in any way, yet I want to be at that wedding.

  • JayWill

    There was a stretch where T-Pain was on the radio and clubs non-stop. He possess something special(unique) musically and is a hitmaker. Only artists with true talent and work ethic are able to remain relevant in the music business.

  • Brad G

    Was just discussing the impact T-Pain had on the mid-to-late 2000s with my roommate. Prom 2007 Buy You A Drank had the convention center lit. Hit after Hit after Hit… I rock with T-Pain

  • I need Zayn Malik to sing at my wedding.

    • Lea Thrace

      Too soon. Too soon. Give time for my heart to heal a bit.

      • Groups never last

        • Lea Thrace

          Nsync, Backstreet, New Edition, NKOTB, 98 degrees, OTown. The list goes on.

          My inner 14 year old girl has been getting her heart broken for so long.

          • tgtaggie

            R. Kelly killed Aaron Hall’s solo dreams in the 90s

            • JayWill

              Dude is still Salty about R. Kelly and it is comical!

              “I remember I had it all until that damn R-Kelly released the album 12-Play in 1993 and then my career took a nose dive. That SOB took everything from me; down to my bald head, my swag with the ladies, my intimate lyrics, I know you heard “Tease Me Tonight”. No one can moan on a record like me, and sing such naughty lyrics until he came along and basically stole my entire persona. ” – Aaron Hall

              • tgtaggie

                There was difference between the two…Aaron Hall didn’t messed with young girls. Kells literally stole his life plan. This is worse than Harold Ford and Pres. Obrezzy. lol

                • R Kelly really did take everything on his vision board…. Like Strahan did to Tiki

                • pls

                  actually….

                  • JayWill

                    LOL…he did say he slept with Gloria Velez when she was a “puppy”.

                    • tgtaggie

                      I forgot about that. I see why he’s salty w/ R. Kelly.

                    • KB

                      I used to be so obsessed over her.

            • WORD. I know Aaron Hall popped champagne like he won a championship when those stories about The Arruh “loving the children” came out. LOL

            • … and stole his swagger.

          • Gets harder to rationalize splitting the money 4-5 ways when all the songs sound like you

          • Pinks

            N’Sync was EEEEEEEVERRRYYTHING to teenage Pinks. It’s Gonna Be May!

            • But Lance is GAY! ;-) Seriously though, does he realize that he could have gotten rich auctioning off the right to take Danielle Fischel to the prom? Real talk…

              • Pinks

                Who cares about Lance doe?! I was all about JC and sometimes Justin.

                • Lea Thrace

                  Justin then and (somewhat now) can get it anytime.

                  • Pinks

                    Yea, today he’s pretty sop-up-with-a-biscuitable.

          • Pinks

            Just came back to say that because of this comment, I am now listening to “No Strings Attached” on Spotify and legit got misty hearing “This I Promise You.”

            DANG YOU, LEA! I danced to this at prom!!!

      • He’sGoing to be the new Beyoncé.

        • He should’ve left a year earlier

    • menajeanmaehightower

      He’s extremely hot. Don’t understand why he’s not modeling. Has a great voice as well.

      • Cleojonz

        Too short, but he is super cute!

      • Too short, we’re like the same size.

    • Cleojonz

      He was always the standout to me in that group. I hope that’s the real reason he left the group for solo work and not some other person problems.

      • I think he left because those other dudes never stood beside him when people were throwing anti-Muslim ish at him.

        • Cleojonz

          That’s a VERY good reason to leave a group, if you don’t feel like your bandmates have your back. Funny being that his mom is white so he’s not really been raised a Muslim at all, and dad is not in the picture.

    • IcePrincess

      Lmaoooo u petty as hell ????

    • Pinks

      I had no clue who he was until like 2 days ago.

      • Your world is now a much better place

      • Same. Bless everything.

    • Epsilonicus

      Have no clue who this is.

  • The game was better when T Pain was the hookman, all the ones who came after Roscoe Dash, Future Vandross, Young Thug are meh, I been rooting for Jeremih to accept this destiny but that train seems to be derailing. Cold game.

    As for a wedding singer, I’m so gonna dig up an old 90s singer for about 85 dollars. Whats Case doing these days anyway

    • Tonis

      Yeah I wish that Jeremih would do more songs, I love anything he’s been on, no matter how stupid the lyrics

    • pls

      FUTURE VANDROSS !!!!! bury me a g in this schoolhouse!

    • Jeremih is not fulfilling his potential. And if Case costs $85, he’s overcharging.

      • Remind me at a more appropriate time to tell “Jeremih and I went to college together” stories.

    • Medium Meech

      Christion seems perfect for a wedding.

      • HeyBooHey

        What’s a wedding without “Full of Smoke” being sung gently in the background??

        • Medium Meech

          A Sham wedding.

          • Lea Thrace

            shots fired? cause you didnt have to capitalize that S. LOL!

            • Medium Meech

              lea…

      • miss t-lee

        This album still gets all the spins. Loved those dudes.

    • miss t-lee

      I saw Case in concert at a hole in the wall here about 5 years ago. He did his 4 hit songs and bounced…lol

    • Future. Vandross.

      *crawls under desk and cries in the key of Migos*

    • I actually googled Future Vandross before having a lightbulb moment. Kirko Bangz has ruined me for punny names.

  • Tonis

    I dunno… I know T-Pain was a hit maker, pretty much invented his own style, and I didn’t even realize that he had been making music for 10 years (I feel old when I ain’t even that old). You list valid reasons for why he should continue to have a long and illustrious career.

    But… I just don’t like him! I mean, I twerked just like anyone else did to “Low” (I know, looking back I’m ashamed too) and I even chose “I’m in luv wit a stripper” as my song of choice at pole dancing class for a friend’s bachelorette party. But I can honestly say that the few times I do listen to the radio or Pandora I immediately change the station whenever he comes on. No matter how many times iHeart radio tries to convince me otherwise, I just can’t get with him. Never found myself singing his songs or anything. In fact the only time we talked about T-Pain when I was in school was to make fun of one of my peer’s poor dating choices.

  • If I was the type of person who could dance I would definitely have T-Pain on the playlist at every social gathering.

    • mikster

      ditto

      • You can’t dance?

        • mikster

          nope, not even a little bit Im the elaine of black folks

  • Tx10inch

    Buy u a drank is my favorite joint. Most people don’t know he can REALLY sing without auto tune. The video’s out somewhere. Too lazy to look for it.

    • Keisha

      Video you mentioned is the last one posted above…NPR TIny Desk Concert. When I first heard it I was so surprised! Had no idea he could sing “unassisted”… :-)

      • tgtaggie

        T-Pain could be a legit rnb artist. Dude is a gifted artist. He could sing a love ballad one minute and the next minute sing a acoustic ratchet song like buy you a drank like in that video.

        • Keisha

          “He could sing a love ballad one minute and the next minute sing a acoustic ratchet song…”

          Lol….I agree! If he ever comes out with an R&B album, I’d definitely buy it.

      • Tx10inch

        Thanks. Guess I was too lazy to click on the videos here too huh. lol

        • Keisha

          lol…it happens. :-)

    • pls

      yes! he has songs without autotune.

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