Sandra Bullock cares about black people
Sandra Bullock, the woman who captured America’s heart and sympathy at nearly the exact same time via The Blindside and Jesse James’ wayward peepee has gone and adopted a Black kid from New Orleans.
Yay.
She’s another in the long line of white folks who’ve gone out and copped them a ninja to raise and support.
Yay.
So why is this a story? Seriously. I just peeped a CNN story entitled, “Bullock’s adoption of black baby stirs debate” and frankly I’m puzzled by the “debate.” Why does it even matter to anybody? Shouldn’t we just be glad that a Black baby from America actually got adopted. Most celebs traipse on over to Africa to pick up a kid to make a millionaire. Bullock, a woman with strong ties to New Orleans, has gone and adopted a youngster from the great city. Once again, I’m just happy the child was adopted…at all.
Look, I’m one of those people who feels that white people cannot adequately raise Black children. Not in this country where racial tensions lay latent and then explode out of nowhere for whatever reason. It’s hard for a white person to contextualize for a Black child what it all really means. It just is. This is fact. All the books in the world cannot teach you how to be Black. That’s a cultural experience and education that requires actual experience and education. White people tend to make excuses for other white people’s shortcomings and tell you that “it’s not everybody” and that you should take an individual as just that. They believe that the institutions are intent on justice, blah blah blah (No Ke$ha). Fact is, it’s bull malarkey. But…
…therein lies the quagmire. While I recognize that white people are not equipped (not even my own mother) to raise Black babies, SOMEBODY has to raise them. White parents are better than no parents at all. Especially in America where there are so many unadopted Black children who grow up in a system that is not designed to foster their growth, but their survival.
In a piece appearing on the site Black Voices, writer Lola Adesioye notes that Bullock joins other stars, including Madonna and Angelina Jolie, who have adopted black children. Madonna and Jolie’s children are African and Bullock’s new son, Louis, is from New Orleans, Louisiana.
“As Bullock’s case shows, a white celebrity adopting a black child raises questions as well as suspicions,” Adesioye writes. “Why do they want a black baby as opposed to a white one, when there are also white kids who are up for adoption?”
Why does this raise suspicions though? Seriously, I’m curious. I recognize that it became trendy a few years back to go to Africa and get a kid, and I see how it looks like the nice white people are helping out the darkies, but, suspicious? I’m not suspicious of these individuals intent. Maybe they view it as their way of giving back to those in need. I doubt any of them want a farm full of ninjas to do their work for them. That’s why they’ve hired Latinos already.
The online magazine Clutch, which is aimed at African-American women, asked its readers “Do you think Sandra Bullock is using her new black son to curtail the negative publicity on her husband’s scandalous affairs? Or is Bullock like many adoptive mothers who simply want to give children in need a happy home?”
The responses of commenters ranged from “God bless anyone who wants to adopt” to “Suspicious with the timing.” One person commenting raised the parallel of Bullock’s starring role as a woman whose family opens its home to a disadvantaged black football player in “The Blind Side” to her real-life adoption.
“When I saw the trailer my first thought was ‘not another white savior movie!’ ” wrote a commenter who identified herself as “Margaret.” “But in real life — our kids need homes. I’m glad to see that Sandra Bullock chose to adopt a child from the United States. Too many of our babies are in the system.”
I don’t even view these folks as trying to be white saviors. I view them as rich people with endless cash and realizing that the best way to give back is to REALLY do it by raising a kid. I think in this case, most folks are either over it because it happens so frequently or realize it’s a non-starter (like this CNN forced piece), but it comes up every time we hear about a white person of celebrity adopting a Black child.
So my people, why does anybody even care who these people are adopting? At least they’re adopting…right??
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
I don’t know what the big deal is. I’m glad someone is adopting an American Black child instead of going to other countries. There are plenty of Black kids here who need homes so kudos to Sandra Bullock for adopting a child in need of a loving parent.
I don’t care nor do I see the big deal. She seems to be one of the few people who understand that in order to adopt outside your race, you need to have people around who can speak to your adopted child’s experience. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do. So, I say more power to her, God bless her and I’m glad she adopted a kid from the U. S.
And if any Black person feels that serious/strongly about it, then they need to get their act together and adopt a Black kid of their own. Put up or shut up. End.of.story.
PREACH.
I feel you. However, though we can’t know her motives, it just seems like the “in” thing for white celebrities to do to declare their A-list status now. Mama’s lil’ baby is becoming an accessory, tantamount to an Hermes bag or Manolos.
Sandra Bullock has never struck me as the type to do what is ‘trendy’. She is known for helping minorities and this adoption process took place way before Jesse James was caught cheating. I say good for her (regardless of the color of her child) because she needed some happiness in her life.
Here ya go:
http://www.africanamericanadoptionsonline.com/
#Endofstory
I just so happened to have a conversation about this the other day with some of my white co-workers. What’s interesting is they all said exactly the same thing: “Why adopt a black baby?” Let it be stated that I live in TN and this probably had A LOT to do with the responses. Finally one woman came up with the notion that maybe the appeal of the black baby, particularly the black baby boy, is the idea that maybe they are showing how selfless they are by picking the “bottom on the barrel” and attempting to “save” the child from what would no doubt be a life of poor education, poverty, gang violence, etc. I waited for her to say that she was being sarcastic but she was completely serious….
I personally don’t mind that she adopted the little boy. It’s none of my damn business. The way I see it, at least she adopted from the USA.
FIRST!
that baby look like lil wayne #ftw
“FIRST!
that baby look like lil wayne #ftw”
LMAO! Damn . . . thats f-d up. That baby gonna be PAID like lil wayne. . .more power to him or her.
SMH. All that shade and you ain’t even first!
Let’s talk about that pic of the baby on the magazine. LOL, That kid got the only “do you believe this s*** face”
LOL. You ain’t right. He’s a cutie!
yes, he’s a cutie!! not as cute as my godson, but a cutie nonetheless
@Terribke, wow, not even second. LOL. so so wrong.
Um, no, I could care less. Given that my own birth mother took off on me and didn’t pop back into my life until I was 14, I say your real parents are those people who love, care, and nuture you and care enough about your well being to see you come out some kind of way (be they black, white, asian, etc).
If these folks are adopting for the right reasons, I see no problem with it.
Just make sure somebody knows how to come their damn hair when they come of age“I say your real parents are those people who love, care, and nuture you and care enough about your well being to see you come out some kind of way (be they black, white, asian, etc)”
I agree completely.
I agree with the nurture over nature aspect of your comment. However, as someone who had a very similar experience with my mother (who reappeared after 11 years), I know that nobody is my parent but her. The simple act of her reappearing and wanting to be a part of my life showed that she cared, and fighting to get us back was just further proof. Then again, I didn’t have any steady adult in my life in those first 11 years, and I might feel differently if I did have a somewhat stable home environment.
As for the post, if more people of means would do what Sandra did and adopt a child in need (regardless of race), then I probably wouldn’t need to ask myself if I would feel differently under different circumstances. I would have experienced those circumstances. So, I believe Sandra did a great thing and doesn’t need to justify it to anyone.
“I believe Sandra did a great thing and doesn’t need to justify it to anyone”
I don’t understand why people are criticizing her. It really baffles me that people get criticized over doing a great thing. Adopting in the US or abroad gives a child a home. There’s nothing worse than not feeling wanted or having a family, so if someone can provide that, kudos to them.
Good for her! However, I am suspicious of the timing. I really do hope that she honestly wants to raise this child and is not doing it for the publicity b/c that would make her a pretty terrible person.
I too am tired of the white savior coming to save the black man’s arse. Its just a story that’s tired and old and redundant and addresses white guilt w/o addressing white privilege which causes it.
Her adoption of a baby has been 4 yrs in the making. She’s even HAD him since before the Oscar’s. It has nothing to do w/ her #hosh*t-loving hubby of hers.
Peyso, why do you think more celebrity black folks aren’t stepping up and adopting lil black babies/kids? Somebody has to step up and make a home for these kids…I wish I would hear of Oprah, Denzel and other celebs of note, adopting..but, we aren’t doing it…….
I think a Celebrity black couple should adopt a female white child from Scandinavia and make sure she has blue eyes and blonde hair.
Can you imagine the outrage?
“I think a Celebrity black couple should adopt a female white child from Scandinavia and make sure she has blue eyes and blonde hair.
Can you imagine the outrage?”
OMG, yes. The world would implode with side-eyes. They would get much more attitude than White celebs. I just recently read an article about a non-celeb Black family adopting a little white girl and the troubles they experienced. Yes, the “Why couldn’t you find a Black kid” question was raised for them, but what really stood out to me was how folks would look at the Black father suspiciously when they’d see him holding the little white girl’s hand…even going so far as going UP to the child and asking, “Are you okay”?. IN FRONT of the parents. O_O
I read that article. It was very telling of how post-racial we really are. It’s much more accepted for a white person to adopt a BOC(baby of color) than a black couple adopting a white or even a non-black baby. Personally, I want anyone who can adequately care for a child financially, emotionally to feel free to adopt any child available. There are enough children to go around.
Josephine Baker did that back in the 50′s. She adopted over 10 kids from all different backgrounds – black, white, asian, hispanic.
why do you think more celebrity black folks aren’t stepping up and adopting lil black babies/kids?
or black people in general. i’m not saying that we all have a duty to adopt black babies, but until more of us step up, then i think it’s fine that some white people want to play “savior” (even though I really don’t see it that way, it is what it is). my mom works for a program that advocates for abused and neglected children. the majority of the children in the system are black, but the majority of the volunteers of her program are white. she has spent the last 20 years trying her hardest to recruit more black volunteers, but to no avail. she’s said that many of the white volunteers that she does have are some of the sweetest and nicest people she’s met, and they’re doing wonderful work for these children. if they’re doing it out of some sort of white guilt, or they want to play savior to some little black babies, so be it, but at least someone’s doing it
but until more of us step up, then i think it’s fine that some white people want to play “savior” (even though I really don’t see it that way, it is what it is).
im completely agree!!! id rather a black child suffer cultural identity issues as a result of adoption by white parent(s) than a black child dealing with a whole host of other issues because NO one (black. white or other) else will rescue them from being raised by the state.
complete co-sign.
Who says they aren’t?
It’s just not as big of a story to the mainstream media. I’m sure white celebrities adopt white children all the time and black celebrities do the same. I’m sure there are many affluent but unknown people who adopt children of any and all races. But there’s nothing special about that. It’s not news.
while i see your point, the fact remains that there are all too many :”real life” stories of black social workers and adoption agency workers that say there just arent many black couples stepping up to adopt any children. so the reality is very likely that black ppl just arent adopting.
on the flip side, i have heard of many black single women trying to adopt and running into little luck based on a host of barriers that confront them. which is also very sad (altho i understand why single parents arent the most attractive for adoption)
I won’t argue numbers but I will assume that those numbers vary with respect to geography and socio-economic conditions.
And I will point out that there are plenty of black people raising black children that are not their own. Maybe just not on paper…
@Deviant, right. It would be just plain ignorant to not acknowledge that we as a community have different obligations, values that has been embedded systemically into our lives and do not have the same economic and social freedoms to do what most 2520s have the freedom and the time to do…its not to say that 2520s are better than blacks for taking in little lakeesha though that seems to be the message being conveyed here. and you’re right, besides, after 400 years of playing “mammy” to everyone elses kids with little or no recognition..not being able to take in lakeesha is more than likely a reprecussion of having done so, therefore, I think we could give ourselves a BIT of a break here.
Peyso. I am indeed suspicious myself..right after her public break up who will FATHER this child? Its the child has gone from one broken home to another. Doesn’t matter if the place has neverland ranch as a backyard, a child without a father is still like a house without a roof..is this an attempt at someone trying to make ‘Art’ imitate life by trying to live out ‘The blindside’? ftw…yeah but errything outside of those thoughts about this=meh.
from what I understand the adoption process has been underway way before her separation AND the filming of the movie… And to say it raises suspicion is just ridiculous. Black males are the least likely of any child to be adopted and this one now has a great chance at a good life… He may not be raised in a black household, and I’m not saying that he won’t lack anything in terms of his culture, but for some people to make that a more important factor than him having a home outside of the system is crazy. I would think I’d rather have someone not like me take care of me and love me than a system that has a history of neglect and failures.
I also don’t think white celebrities are doing this as a “trend” as I’ve heard people say. Children are a lifelong responsibility and too much trouble to just get as a “trend”. Like you said- they have the means to do this and this may be their way of “giving back” and giving someone a chance at a good life they otherwise would never have gotten.
I don’t know if I believe she did the adoption independent of the film. Films take years and years to produce, as do adoptions. I could see her reading the script 5 years ago and being influenced in making the adoption move around the same time. Pure coincidence? Maybe. But not likely. Do I think she did it for cool points or anything selfserving? Not at all. Sandy has always been good in my book.
p.s. grayse where you been? lol. i used to read ur blog back in the day!
liz!! I’ve been… Ok. Lol. The last few yrs have been rough on me! I did just buy a new domain tho so I may start blogging again
but I’ve been around! Checking in here periodically 
ure right I’m not sure how long ago she read the script, etc but I did read she filed adoption papers about 4 yrs ago AND she’s had the baby 5 mos now and didn’t make a media circus of it- so I’m confident she didn’t do this as a publicity stunt.
I need to find you on twitter to keep in touch!! (do you have twitter?)
haha yes, I am @calinative on twitter.
I think this explains why she was so MIA when the JJ sh*t hit the fan. Didn’t see her NOWHERE. Must have been hiding out with her baby, understandably so.
haha, “giving back while getting black”. yeah, seems reasonable. who can judge her motives anyway?
now… if she sends the child BACK after awhile talmbout it is defective, well then we have a problem.
but for some people to make that a more important factor than him having a home outside of the system is crazy.
Thank you!
Those “suspicious of the timing” should note they started the adoption process 3 or 4yrs ago and she has had the baby for about 5 month now. She just kept it on the low so the baby wouldn’t be thrust into the spotlight. Kudos to her.
I don’t care. Wish one of them would adopt me and put me through grad school…
Honestly, I just think that sometimes we blacks just want something to harp about. If rich white people were only adopting white babies, we complain about how many more black babies are in the system and how they deserve a home. Also, does anyone care that Katherine Heigle (sp) adopted an Asian baby?? Nope. Are Asians up in arms about it? I doubt it. Yes I understand the cultural barriers and that noone understands black like black BUT at least they’re trying. So what if they feel like giving Tyshonda a home and trust fund negates every racist thought they’ve ever had and makes them look like a modern mother Teresa swooping in to alleviate some of the pain of our genetically predisposed inferior quality of life (hehehe) and so what Angelina won’t comb Zahara’s hair. The kids have a home, and playrooms the size of most of our apartments.
Seriously though, it takes a special kind of person to take a strangers child into their home and care for him as her own. God bless her and anybody else- they’re doing something that I don’t see myself equipped to do…
“and so what Angelina won’t comb Zahara’s hair.”
based on Shiloh’s hair, I think Angie doesn’t have patience for little girls’ hair, Black or White.
LOL true indeed
Seriously though, it takes a special kind of person to take a strangers child into their home and care for him as her own.
Pretty much…
allow the freedom writers diaries syndrome… Sandra Bullock isn’t trying to save a black kid because of ‘white guilt’. She started this adoption nearly a year ago, WITH her husband. An adoption isn’t an overnight thing (unless your kids from Africa and you make enough to feed the entire continent ten times over).
An adoption w.in America, esp from a high ‘demand’ area like New Orleans has red tape, procedures and takes too long to be a ‘im single now, i think ill have a kid’ kind of thing. You practically raise the adoption papers before you ever see a kid.
And I’m not tired of white ‘saviours’, im tired of black whiners. I’m from E. Africa, and all i ever hear are people complaining about the state of Africa… complaining about UN troops and invasive US policies, when their own people are turning into warlords, their children soldiers and their presidents theives.
I’d rather have a White saviour then a Black devil.
And shoot… in the state we’re in today, can we really even AFFORD to consider the colour of a person skin when they offer help? Once you’re up shits creek w.o a paddle (unfairly), does it really matter how light skinned your boat is?
If your willing to complain about white/black adoptions, adopt all the black kids in the world yourself. Otherwise, i feel like its really underhand to knock down the only chance at a mother/child relationship most of these lil bros’ and sis’ have. You’re essentially pointing a finger at an orphan saying “HAH if you havent noticed, your mother cant be half as good as a black mother.” if thats not rubbing salt on a wound… i dunno what is.
“If your willing to complain about white/black adoptions, adopt all the black kids in the world yourself.”
This is absolutely true . . . Black folks standing around and complaining about stuff but not willing to take any action. Fukkit tell her I need a white mama.
“And I’m not tired of white ’saviours’, im tired of black whiners.”
amen.
I’m not tired of white ’saviours’, im tired of black whiners
*patiently waits for the t-shirt.
I’m gonna need that in a large please, thanks.
Let the church say Amen!
tshirts eh
? i have no idea what to say to this so, fosho.
loll..
pretty much when something can be summed up in a line – it deserves to be t-shirted!!
i’ve grown vsb’s store collevtion 10fold since i started commented. i hope someone is keeping track!!
(yes, yes.. i know.. track deez..)
“If your willing to complain about white/black adoptions, adopt all the black kids in the world yourself. ”
I agree with this to an extent. While i feel ya on folks who complain but don’t do anything to change it, I don’t think folks who express criticism are required by default to adopt kids themselves. Maybe THEY know they aren’t qualified and/or can’t afford to adopt, which in actuality, it’s better that they don’t. I love kids but I’m not ready to adopt them. So, if I care enough about kids to express criticism IF what I’m criticizing is true (not saying it is or isn’t in Sandra’s case, but I DO express concern when folks view adopting as a TREND), I think it’s valid to do so even if I’m not adopting children myself. Still, there are other ways to assist children than adopting them yourself.
True.. but the point of the matter is, pointing out how bad a situation is doesn’t do anything but make it worse. We don’t walk past homeless people and say “Man, if only you had a job… you could feed yourself!”. Why write about orphans and say “Doesnt it SUCK that your adoptive mother doesn’t look like you?”
If you really care about the kids, give them congratulations, pray for them to w.e diety you follow, send donations if you cant adopt, become a big sis/big bro… don’t knock down the only hope they got just cuz it’s not ideal.
“True.. but the point of the matter is, pointing out how bad a situation is doesn’t do anything but make it worse.”
You have to identify the problem before you solve it. But, I do agree that ONLY complaining won’t help anything, which I noted in my previous comment.
Great minds think alike =
I think it’s valid to do so even if I’m not adopting children myself. Still, there are other ways to assist children than adopting them yourself.
^This hurr. Gone are the days where your teacher would stop by the house for dinner and real heart to heart PTAs. I mean really getting involved with our children and providing them with productive and positive atmospheres for them to thrive in. Instilling pride for who they are and not wishing to be something other than what they are. The money, fame. It fades away. We’re talking about the character of others and how that will play an influential role in the child’s life and what kind of examples are being set for the child. All very reasonable concerns and questions some may easily mistake for ‘complaining’
I’d rather have a White saviour then a Black devil.
i feel this sentiment
I wish we could be our own saviours.. but you gotta do the best you can w. what you got. And that doesn’t include negativity.
I’m happy for Sandra Bullock. I believe that this is legit and not a publicity stunt, since she’s never been very “Hollywood.” I’m happy she adopted a boy, because after looking at Zahara Jolie-Pitts’ hair… *dies inside*
But why is Louis giving coldest side eye in every picture in the People magazine spread?
Oops…hit post before I finished my thought. I think it’s tacky when tabloids accuse celebrities of copying someone by adopting a (fill in ethnicity) baby, or adopting a child at all. Katherine Heigl was supposedly copying Angelina Jolie with her Korean daughter – mind you Heigl’s sister was adopted from Korea. A child is a lifetime commitment, not a publicity stunt.
“A child is a lifetime commitment, not a publicity stunt.”
Unless you’re Madonna.
ITA about Sandra being one of the less affected stars out in the ‘Weird. She has always come across to me as just a Texas gal who happens to work in the movies. She seems like the kind of woman you could just chill with and feel comfortable going in her house to help yourself to something to eat once you got to be friends. Just down to Earth woman who is glowing with happiness that she’s finally getting to experience being a Mom, and I bless her everyday for that, because while all these ninjas are bitchin’, I don’t see not one of their asses getting in the line to go through that process. Screw that. If Sandra can love this little boy and give him a good life, then more power to her.
But on the other hand, I have issues with Black people constantly bitching about Zahara’s hair. Zahara’s hair IS combed. She just doesn’t have 50 million barrettes and doo-dads hanging off her head, jacking up an already delicate hairline. Also, Zahara doesn’t seem like the type who would keep that ish on her head anyway.
Maybe (and I realize that this is a foreign concept for some Black folk) Brad and Angie want Z to grow up to have a positive self image of herself as an African woman, and for them, that means keeping Z’s hair clean, and then letting it do what it do. Black children do not need to have all that mess on them to look “put together”. I like Z’s lil wash n go fro. Makes her look like a lil girl who has a hella lot of fun and who doesn’t worry about stupid stuff like hair when she can probably barely spell her name yet.
I think Louis is a beautiful baby and that he’s lucky to have a mom who will love him. And as for the so-called Black experience, not every Black person’s experience is the same, and we are not some conglomeration of oneness who have all had “the Man” keep us down. I’ve always felt that that was just one more excuse for why we as a people don’t rise, and to be honest, it’s the mentality of an oppressed person.
I sincerely hope that Louis has his own experience.
“I sincerely hope that Louis has his own experience.”-this sums it all up perfectly though *CHURCH, and might I add, I hope it’s a GREAT one !
And as for the so-called Black experience, not every Black person’s experience is the same, and we are not some conglomeration of oneness who have all had “the Man” keep us down.
This is very true…my black experience can be totally different than yours and folks in my own fam as well.
I agree 1000% with your comment about Zahara’s hair. I don’t understand the hoopla about that baby’s hair. It looks fine! Like you said, how is it suppose to look?! It looks healthy, clean AND combed.
But on the other hand, I have issues with Black people constantly bitching about Zahara’s hair. Zahara’s hair IS combed. She just doesn’t have 50 million barrettes and doo-dads hanging off her head, jacking up an already delicate hairline. Also, Zahara doesn’t seem like the type who would keep that ish on her head anyway.
Maybe (and I realize that this is a foreign concept for some Black folk) Brad and Angie want Z to grow up to have a positive self image of herself as an African woman, and for them, that means keeping Z’s hair clean, and then letting it do what it do. Black children do not need to have all that mess on them to look “put together”. I like Z’s lil wash n go fro. Makes her look like a lil girl who has a hella lot of fun and who doesn’t worry about stupid stuff like hair when she can probably barely spell her name yet.
I need this whole paragraph copied and plastered all over the internet. Please and thank you!
If you want to subject your daughters to a lifelong servitude to how their hair looks, do it. But please do not transfer your hair issues onto a poor little kid and her parents for choosing what they think is BEST for her… When I read those Zahara hair comments I am beyond annoyed. Not every body wants or wishes to work their lives around hair appointments… and some of us are perfectly fine with that. Zahara will be more than ok.
lmao @ louis’ side eye
WHO CARES ABOUT SANDRA BULLOCK, SHE GOT HER DIVORCE, HAS A KID. AND APPARENTLY WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH JESSSE JAMES KIDS. SHE BASICALLY SAYING SCREW YOU, I DON’T NEED YOU. HELL SHE WOULD NOT GIVE A DAMM IF HE KILLED HIMSELF,SHE PROBABLY THROW A PARTY.
ALSO, just clarifying, i would prefer africans helping africans, blacks helping blacks. Im pretty pan-african, esp when it comes to african gov’ts. But my point is, unless you have that option, you cant really afford to be choosy.
Speaking purely selfishly…but I wonder if she will move down to New Orleans…cause for whatever reason folks downs here think she somehow help the city…I mean we got a new Mayor…cool…and will most likely get a new Police Chief….and I guess Sandra Bullock completes the Tri-fecta
If I’m not mistaken, she bought and maintains a home in New Orleans. and I think she uses it as her main residence.
Man!
In these days when everything is something that’ll make you want to do an Elvis and shoot your TV… who shot whom, who out shot whomever, who’s screwing whoever’s whatever and who’s screwing over us all.
It’s mildly refreshing to witness someone doing something for purely selfish intent, experiencing a change of heart and turn that selfish thing into something to benefit the person they originally intended to exploit.
That’s what “Blindsided” is about.
I must say that I’m grateful for what Sandra and others are adopting, ’cause most of the sisters I know, even when they’re pulling in six large digits ain’t doing it. And the ones that are doing it, work two minimum wage part time jobs and have as many OP kids under roofs as they got roaches.
What’s worse is most of the brothers I know if given the chance would do a Woody Allen with their adopted kids or maybe just an R. Kelly. (Which gives sisters a valid reason not to let it come into their space).
So, the reason that it IS a story, at least to me, is that it becomes a form of advertising and continues, even expands, the fashionable trendy act of having a purse dog, plug in hybrid, a funny colored certified conflict free diamond, some of those f*ck me pumps with the red soles and a black kid in the moral investment portfolio. And who knows maybe so corporate ladder climbing, strong, successful and independent divas that can’t find a kind and tender thug will stop at the Humane Society kiosk in the galleria during their Black Friday frenzy and buy a little Black kid too.
But I doubt it.
//What’s worse is most of the brothers I know if given the chance would do a Woody Allen with their adopted kids or maybe just an R. Kelly. //
Really dude, most of the brothers you know would bang and/or marry their adopted underage daughters???
You need new friends… quick.
I worried about her timing myself but, I cant shake the fact that I’m happy for the boy and Sandra for adopting an American. The adoption process in America is LONNNNG (Heard she been waiting for 4 Years).
But, we hear that voice in the back of around head. “OOOH, so she wants to adopt a black baby, Guess its because her racist hubby is making he look ppl wonder how she could b with someone that long and not notice. Bet. Looks like sh trying to get a “Blind Side 2″ started.”
Bu, If you think aboujt it how many Afro-Am Celebrities out there adopt anyway??
P.S. Yay its my Bday, *Note to self: Never let your homeboy from New Orleans make you a drink called “Hurricane” while listen to “The Jimi Hendrix Experience* LOL
*throws Bday VSB glitter*
Yay, Glitter!!! Waiting for “Bday Deez” to come along. And I would like kno know how to post a picture of urself on VSB.com. No,I don’t see the ans. in FAQs*
*Mind you I’m eating breakfast now at a diner. Still drinking…..,thank Jah that I got today off from work!
My bad about the typos, I blame it on the apple juice
@ M Gundam
HAPPY BIRTHDAY fellow Taurus!!!
My countdown begins as my birthday is tomorrow!
Congrats!!, *passes e-long island Ice Tea to LaBakir*
P.S. Yay its my Bday, *Note to self: Never let your homeboy from New Orleans make you a drink called “Hurricane” while listen to “The Jimi Hendrix Experience* LOL
Happy Birthday, fellow Taurus. That sounds like a great time right there.
@M Gundam – happy bday.
i dont do glitter. i’m a damn G.
“i dont do glitter. i’m a damn G.”
Glitter starts with a ‘G’.
“Glitter starts with a ‘G’.”
Check and Mate
“Guess its because her racist hubby is making he look ppl wonder how she could b with someone that long and not notice.”
I love Sandra, but honestly, this did give me pause. That mofo had racist paraphernalia all UP in his tattoo shop, so um…o_O.
Anywho. Happy B-day!!!
@ M Gundam,
Happy Birthday!!!
I totally feel where Panama is coming from at all angles. Today, I am much more concerned that a child gets a good home and a loving family. Although I must admit, it kinda matters who is doing the adopting-which I will explain in a bit. I think it’s ridiculous for me to pontificate the race of a parent when the kids just want a stable home and a parent. Sure, I would prefer a black parent who is familiar with the struggles and culture to pass on to a black child, but just because they are raised by a white parent or parents does not mean they won’t get any aspect of that. I know white parents of black children and a friend who was adopted, who still has elements of the black experience and a cultural connection because their parents were wise enough to see the importance in it. I also know I am not in a position to adopt. So I pretty much shut my mouth and hope the children are happy and whole and do what I can do in terms of service and volunteering to help our children.
Now here is where “who” is adopting comes into play. I don’t have a problem with Sandra Bullock. Everything I heard of her has been on the up and up. I remember reports saying that she donated a million dollars to Haitian relief way before the telethon. I also heard she adopted the baby way before she won the Oscar and during better times of her and her husband. I saw footage of the husband saying he misses the baby and that fact that he can’t raise it with Sandra. She also did the adoption in secret, so it wasn’t like she was using the adoption to propel her career. That said, I didn’t have the same feelings with Madonna. Something about Madonna speaks of insincerity and self-righteousness. Plus, I quit foolin’ with Madonna when she made a comment about black men being the most disrespectful men she has ever encountered. She also wanted a black person in a KKK uniform for a bit during her concert. An African American dancer on her tour (and alleged long time associate of Madonna) voiced her dislike, discomfort and refused to put on the KKK uniform to do the bit. She urged Madonna to remove it from the show, but Madonna got another black person to do it. (While I am at it, I hate she gets props for “re-inventing” herself when all she did was pimp and exploit what was already hot that someone else created or was already doing, but I digress.) Her having those feelings about black men and some demonstration of lack of compassion to ask a black person to wear a KKK robe made me feel extremely upset at the prospect of her raising a black male. I felt she did it as a calculated publicity ploy (which her career is full of) and to boost her humanitarian power (note humanitarian Power, not humanitarianism…but Power) like Angelina Jolie (who is just aight to me, and not really all that) . It truly seemed that African babies were the new must have accessory (hence the parody with Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Bruno”). Sandra doesn’t come off like Madonna to me, which is why i am more okay with it. Plus, Sandra claims she fell in love once she saw him and that baby is adorable. I can definitely understand that.
“Sure, I would prefer a black parent who is familiar with the struggles and culture to pass on to a black child, but just because they are raised by a white parent or parents does not mean they won’t get any aspect of that.”
Is that something that a black kid really needs to have? What would be our claim to fame if our culture didn’t have a struggle to champion? I doubt Puffy’s kids or Russell Simmons’ kids struggle…are they less black? (I’m not picking on your comment, just curious since this sentiment has been voiced a few times.)
hell, id go a step further and question whether or not ALL black ppl are worthy of being parents, period. black raising black does not, by any means, ensure success, self-love/acceptance, knowledge of black history or tolerance for that matter.
i know plenty of children with 2 black parents who arent aware of what “the struggle” even means (or why the civil rights movement was important” and why its important to vote, get an education, be involved in public service, etc.
@Caballeroso,
Not speaking about the struggle in itself. I am speaking on our heritage, our history, and that today we live in a world in which everyone isn’t equal. There are things black men face, that I hope this precious child doesn’t have to face, wealthy or not. I am about arming children with the knowledge to survive so that the resiliency and strength is continued in generations because black or white, life is no joke.
Sure, I can sort of see what your saying, but that is not what I’m saying. I remember reading Assata and her name having to do with “struggle” and her love for the “beautiful struggle”. I have the utmost respect for Assata and I recognize I have never experienced the things this woman has, but I thought I would never change my name to a “struggle” related one because that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If my ultimate goal is to be free, I’m naming myself “free” or something associated with freedom. I understand and respect those who came before me in the struggle referring it to as the “beautiful struggle”, but I am about word-sound-power and my thinking that the struggle is so beautiful keeps it here. Our ability to overcome our struggles is beautiful. Our resilience is beautiful. The sacrifice she and others gave is beautiful. The struggle is not. The struggle is ugly and is something we should not have had to deal with. Now even my thinking has to be said with a grain of salt because I stand on that woman’s shoulders. I wasn’t there to feel what she endured and I can sit here behind a keyboard and have the luxury of saying what I coulda’, woulda’ done. I have the utmost respect and appreciation for all she did, because she did it thinking it would help her children and the generations after her. So even though my thought process shifts a bit, I have enough humility to realize context is a big factor. History is a big factor. Experience is a big factor. That information and knowledge should be passed down so a person can have the opportunity to create their own thought process of what that means to them.
You know, I gave a flocka when stories like these broke about celebs going out of the country to adopt African children. Now? Not so much, especially when nobody is making news about blacks adopting their own.
Stunt? Chili deciding she wants to let go of her baby hair is a stunt. This is merely an act of kindness during an awkward period.
Kudos to Sandra and shame to anybody whose willing to question every single decision a person makes.
Side question: why do we still call music that isn’t hip-hop or R&B “white people” music? That ish has irked me for a lil min.
I really, really like your comment.
I don’t like the purposeful adoption of minority races. I don’t think you should look at adopting a child
As a way of “giving back”. That in itself is flawed thinking to me. Its not charity and we are talking about a child not a stray animal that needs rescuing. I don’t mind a person that is like
I want to adopt a baby and the first available healthy baby will do. But I feel about a 2520 that purposefully adopts a minority the same
Way I feel about mofos that ONLY date outside their race. You got some issues.
“But I feel about a 2520 that purposefully adopts a minority the same
Way I feel about mofos that ONLY date outside their race. You got some issues.”
^This. Co-sign 100%. I was starting to feel like I was the “unenlightened” one; everybody else seems so cool with the “save the darkies” routine. I have some concerns about the motivations of a white person who specifically seeks out a minority child for adoption. I actually like Sandra Bullock very much and I have no idea what HER motives were. But this does seem a little trendy.
Please don’t think that I’m not happy that this baby has been adopted. I’m glad that someone has stepped up and given him a chance for a better life. In an ideal world though, that person would be black and could raise them with a truer sense of their heritage.
@jaidevivre, Please don’t think that I’m not happy that this baby has been adopted. I’m glad that someone has stepped up and given him a chance for a better life. In an ideal world though, that person would be black and could raise them with a truer sense of their heritage.
i feel you. but nobody did. and this is not an ideal world. so why question somebody else for doing some sh*t that some Black family isn’t doing?
I feel like this:
I thought I was basically agreeing with you. I feel like this: “Please don’t think that I’m not happy that this baby has been adopted. I’m glad that someone has stepped up and given him a chance for a better life. In an ideal world though, that person would be black and could raise them with a truer sense of their heritage.”
equals this
“I’m one of those people who feels that white people cannot adequately raise Black children.”
Plus, this: “While I recognize that white people are not equipped (not even my own mother) to raise Black babies, SOMEBODY has to raise them. White parents are better than no parents at all.”
“I was starting to feel like I was the “unenlightened” one; everybody else seems so cool with the “save the darkies” routine. I have some concerns about the motivations of a white person who specifically seeks out a minority child for adoption. I actually like Sandra Bullock very much and I have no idea what HER motives were. But this does seem a little trendy. ”
I feel ya as well. And just because folks have these concerns doesn’t mean that we’re not happy that kids are being adopted. However, just adopting kids is not going to win you a purple heart. Your intent behind it should be nothing but love as well. This does seem like a trend (not saying this is Sandra’s intent…I seem to have to put this disclaimer up a lot), but adopting kids just as you would buy a purse is NOT good for the child and it does cancel out the “goodness” of the adoption. Especially if you have 50-lem nannies that can do the hard work for you.
@jaidevivre et @Cheekie: Let’s play the thought experiment out. What if a wealthy 2520 who adopts an AA or A baby is doing has some issues and is doing it for SOME trendy reasons..
First, as many ppl have pointed out, the supply of babies-waiting-for-adoption is virtually infinite (in so far as it will never be met), so the bar isn’t is this family “better than a healthy Black family,” (which I think the consensus opinion here is close to “optimal”) the bar is actually is this family adopting the AA or A baby “better than nothing,” which very often it is.
When seen through that lens, is it still something either of you have a problem with, or wish was NOT happening?
@n8te,
I guess the points I was trying to make are these. 1) I dislike the idea of a rich white people using minority children as trendy accessories. I do not get a sense that SB has dishonorable intentions, but in general, I wonder what thought processes are at work behind these decisions. And 2) as you said, being raised by a healthy black family would be “optimal.”
As to your question, I’m not begrudging this child a happy better life. Framing it as white people or nothing, I would certainly prefer that any child be adopted.
@jaidevivre
“I guess the points I was trying to make are these. 1) I dislike the idea of a rich white people using minority children as trendy accessories. I do not get a sense that SB has dishonorable intentions, but in general, I wonder what thought processes are at work behind these decisions. And 2) as you said, being raised by a healthy black family would be “optimal.”
As to your question, I’m not begrudging this child a happy better life. Framing it as white people or nothing, I would certainly prefer that any child be adopted.”
Was about to type my comment, but you expressed it much clearer than I would’ve! Expressing this concern doesn’t mean you’re at the extreme end of the spectrum, i.e. “I rather the kids be in the system than be adopted” (which…o_O), it just means its’ a concern. It doesn’t mean you wish Sandra didn’t adopt Louis or anything. It doesn’t even mean you’re accusing her of this agenda. These recent events just brought up the issue in general and that’s what we’re discussing. If I were talking about Sandra specifically regarding my concerns, I would’ve typed her NAME. lol
@Cheekie,
EXACTLY!!
A couple things. First off, I enjoy the debate and think all of our views are more similar than different. I wasn’t assuming anything, I was asking a question to clarify that which I didn’t understand,
but secondly.. i never said you were talking about sandra bullock, but if we’re going to bring that up.. you DID mention her by name. twice..lol. having said that I still think we are all in agreement, jaidevivre and I have said the *exact* same thing, and i think you and i have as well.
“i never said you were talking about sandra bullock, but if we’re going to bring that up.. you DID mention her by name. twice..lol.”
Yeah, to say, I don’t know her motives.
lol But you know what I meant. I meant, if I were talking about her, I would’ve said SHE had an alternative agenda. But I didn’t. I was speaking in general.
@Cheekie – My bad, I misunderstood and stand corrected. Again, I think the three of us are in complete agreement.. I feel similarly about interracial couples.. like, just bc its a ninja and 2520 doesn’t mean there’s DEFINITELY some self hatred and objectification going on, but when looking at the phenomena in aggregate there’s definitely a correlation. Great sharing thoughts w y’all, thanks for the intelligent discourse..
@n8te,
“I feel similarly about interracial couples.. like, just bc its a ninja and 2520 doesn’t mean there’s DEFINITELY some self hatred and objectification going on, but when looking at the phenomena in aggregate there’s definitely a correlation. Great sharing thoughts w y’all, thanks for the intelligent discourse..”
YES. I kinda wish I would’ve just said what you typed above in the first place. lol
My convoluted self had to explain what I was tryin’ to say 50-leven different ways today all through this thread and the above woulda cleared it up. Thanks! And ditto on the intelligent discourse. I always enjoy it, even if we disagree. Hell, especially.
@Cheekie &@n8te,
Ditto on the appreciation of intelligent discourse!
Also, n8te, I’m printing this ish “I feel similarly about interracial couples.. like, just bc its a ninja and 2520 doesn’t mean there’s DEFINITELY some self hatred and objectification going on, but when looking at the phenomena in aggregate there’s definitely a correlation” on a bookmark or t-shirt or something. This is the best I’ve ever heard my position expressed and this will most likely become my new elevator speech. I’ll cite you…
@shay-d-lady, i’m black and i want to adopt a child at some point. and i view it as my way of giving back – providing somebody with an opportunity that they might not otherwise have b/c of circumstances beyond their control. am i wrong for that? the fact that we are talking about a child here is exactly the point. this is a child without a home who now has one. nobody knows their true intentions but as long as folks have to wait (sheeeeeeeit, a freakin PAID celeb had to wait 4 years) and they are still fighting for it means that they must have SOME noble intentions, right? The first available healthy baby will do thing is fine and great…but i do think it is good that with the numbers of unadopted Black children waiting in the system that somebody said, hey, let me make a child whose chances are generally harder to get adopted a home. let me do that. i cannot look at that sideways at all.
i feel what you’re saying but your comment raises a few questions for me…
do we KNOW sandy was purposefully trying to adopt a black child? or perhaps just purposefully trying to adopt a child from NOLA? or a child that was “disadvantaged”?
why does it matter IF in fact she was purposefully trying to adopt a black child? the majority of “hard to place” children are black. yet blacks clearly dont make up the majority of ppl in this country. black orphaned kids automatically lose the numbers game. why is it wrong to try and correct for that by purposefully wanting to adopt a black child that is LEAST likely to be adopted by any family?
“why does it matter IF in fact she was purposefully trying to adopt a black child?”
It doesn’t matter if she was purposely trying to adopt a Black child for the sake of helping them. I think the problem lies if she was purposefully adopting a Black child to get a “white knight” pat on the back (aka USING the child). But, like you said, who knows if she was…
I think the problem lies if she was purposefully adopting a Black child to get a “white knight” pat on the back (aka
And at the end of the day, what exactly is wrong with that? She should get a pat on the back for adopting a kid, ANY kid but especially a BLACK kid who has less chances of being adopted than their white counterparts.
So a better life for a black kid is not worth a pat on the back? To me, it is.
“And at the end of the day, what exactly is wrong with that? She should get a pat on the back for adopting a kid, ANY kid but especially a BLACK kid who has less chances of being adopted than their white counterparts.
So a better life for a black kid is not worth a pat on the back? To me, it is.”
If it’s solely to get a pat in the back then it’s not sincere. It’s the same thing with giving charity to me. If your only intent is to get some recognition, then I say you might as well keep your charity.
And who says they will have a better life? Just because they’re rich now? If the parent doesn’t truly care about the child and only did it to get a pat in the back, them having money is not going to solve that. They need more than financial support, of course. Actually being there for the child and not putting them off on their nannies would be cool. This is of course speaking in general, not anyone in particular…
come on cheeks. i feel like this is a bit of a stretch.
is sandy’s possibly selfish intentions for adopting a black baby the BIGGEST issue we can come up with to wag our finger at (no colbert)??
i could see if sandy was notorious for staying in the public eye, being a media whore, and constantly drawing attn to herself by means of her “celebrity”. take for instance she was more like a paris hilton, brit spears, jessica simpson, kate goslen(sp?). then i could see why “suspicions” are raised at her motives for wanting to be a MOM… and a mom to a black baby. but has she given any of us a reason to think that this is some main encore to her most recent white savior role?? no, i dont think so.
i think all this questioning of her is gettin a bit ridiculous.
“is sandy’s possibly selfish intentions for adopting a black baby the BIGGEST issue we can come up with to wag our finger at (no colbert)??”
Yeah, that’s why I had to put the disclaimer up that I wasn’t saying Sandra was doing this in every comment. Thought I put it on this one! lol I mostly got into this convo when the discussion shifted over to celebs doing adopting Black kids or kids from third world countries IN GENERAL.
@shay-d-lady,
“But I feel about a 2520 that purposefully adopts a minority the same Way I feel about mofos that ONLY date outside their race. You got some issues.”
So you think Sandra Bullock has issues with her white heritage?
I don’t think you should look at adopting a child
As a way of “giving back”. That in itself is flawed thinking to me. Its not charity and we are talking about a child not a stray animal that needs rescuing.
this
This
THIS!!!
Thanks sis. Shay for keeping it trill. We’re not (yet) some endangered species who needs to be saved by the rich elite and come with a nice t-shirt and credit in the black community just for doing so. I never understood the need for cred from who feel like we ought to grin and buckdance for folks who see themselves as the only hope in the world we have and yet wouldn’t eat at the same table as US.. no matter how many times they elect us and no matter how many black pundits they throw up on MSNBC. Just…why the publicity, exploitation, if it is done from the heart?
#notimpressedwiththewhiteliberalguilt
To answer the question I do care in the general butterfly effect sense of the matter.
People are all “let’s be happy that she is adopting” why? A person that adopts a child for the wrong reason
Is just as likely to screw a child up psychologically as “the system”. I mean let’s be honest hollywood. Aint fot a stellar track record of raising great kids.
And for those that say its ludicrous to think the movie or script played a part in her decision.
Have you seen mommy dearest? Lol apparently a mofo has and will adopt for something as ridiculous as that
And guess what we these kids grow up and act out due to lack of self identity, being treated and explained as a charity case or thrown to the side after the newness wears off
It won’t be a reflection on the f!cked up parenting it will prob be used by the harvard student and her ilk to justify
The lack of intelligence of the black race or some other equally ignorant and stereotypical bull shyt
while i understand your sentiment, who are YOU or anyone else to say sandy’s adoption was for all the wrong reasons??? we don’t know!!!!!!!!! this adoption is fresh so there’s no telling what will happen in the next few years or when the kid is finally 18 and ready to be on his own.
you are assuming the worst without giving this woman a chance to raise this child. would you be equally hard on a BLACK celeb who adopted a BLACK baby??? if not, then this line of questioning is racial profiling (lol) and a bit absurd
A person that adopts a child for the wrong reason
Is just as likely to screw a child up psychologically as “the system”.
I personally think this is very far from being true. The system is and will ALWAYS be a greater disadvantage than Madonna or Sandra Bullock’s millions… even if the intentions are wronger than wrong.
What’s the worst that can happen to that boy? He becomes a typical Hollywood kid and spoiled and even half-crazy… He is still WAY ahead of all his other co-orphans who remained in the system.
So yeah, I don’t buy this “wrong reasons will mess up a kid more” business. Nope.
*nodding head* i totally agree
Preach it Lady Shay and thanks for sharing that brilliant insight! It takes a strong mind not to go with the consensus and appreciate that you are bringing these necessary and uncomfortable points to the table.
The statement about the Harvard student converting a stereotypical assessment of blacks lacking far less in intelligence than whites and others through the lack of STRUCTURE in the black family into some divisive theory to further divide the community is DEAD ON.
Its not that you’re saying that her adoption was for the wrong reasons, when time and again we still see these same divisive theories put to work on various platforms and we encounter them on a daily basis.
Its not saying that you think her adoption is for all the wrong reasons when we’ve seen these well meaning Hollywood parents and children end up with a lot of dirt on them resulting in tragedy and ultimately unexpected outcomes i.e. the child becoming a troubled Hollywood star, drug addict what have you. Not to wish any of that on the child but lets keep it 100, anyone who really CARES would question the motives timing reasons ect and acknowledge the potential..and I %100000 concur with the point that Hollywood lifestyle isn’t exactly what that is for any tot that is to become a well rounded human being..we’ve proof of that.
Time and again we have shown great efforts as a people just to be EQUAL WITH the white man but not really independent from his ideas and ways in a society that doesn’t really care for us only to have the proverbial rug pulled from under us all the time..
Why does having pity on the less fortunate all of a sudden a trend to absolve all sin when it is pretty much inherent human dignity to do so anyway? Why does she need to be revered as a hero? What an enlightened person you must be to think us poor, dispersed, helpless blacks are fortunate to be allowed in the care of whites (and one who happens to be white)! Give yourself a big gold star for it!
would you be equally hard on a BLACK celeb who adopted a BLACK baby??? if not, then this line of questioning is racial profiling (lol) and a bit absurd.
Would you equally revere a BLACK celebrity to hero status as many have Sandy for adopting a BLACK or better yet a WHITE baby?
When has there been really any real celebratory buzz in the media about ANY black celebrity giving birth or adopting can YOU recall (other than Halle/Jada)? I think what’s especially disturbing isn’t just the implication that WE aren’t tolerant/capable of taking care of other children (after centuries of playing ‘Mammy’ to others anyway) but rather SOME BLACKS cave to the white supremacist notion that our own culture is so inferior and miniscule that it’s not important if the child in question has no real sense of cultural identity as long as he/she assimilates to the dominant culture its all good and even questioning if this child would have some form of black cultural internalization is RACIST NOMYGOD!!!! :\
What’s the worst that can happen to that boy? He becomes a typical Hollywood kid and spoiled and even half-crazy… He is still WAY ahead of all his other co-orphans who remained in the system.
..but no better off for having no real sense of cultural identity, the possibility of not ever really knowing his family background, being forced to assimilate and reject his origin and individual heritage with little to no paternal guidance JUST LIKE those who remained in the system.
That said, sis. Shay I applaud you. Your willingness to bring these necessary points to the table is sadly something that remains to be seen in the neo-black community. Thanks.
#groupthinkfails
*(and one who happens to be RICH)!
My suspicion lies in the nuances of the cover photo – for some reason the necklace/beads concern me. I’m always wondering what version of “Blackness” will a kid receive from White parents. One of my best friends in the world is a White cat. I’ve been friends with him for a least a decade, his family has treats me like the daughter/sister they never had. His parents had two biological (White) sons and adopted two Black sons. And as much as I love them all – I’m still leery about interracial adoption. They are good and loving parents and the boys are sweethearts, but still……I just can’t…..I don’t know. (I feel like Cedric talking about Luther – that curl just never…..it just never quite…..) I just can’t put it into words for some reason.
That being said – and I hate to hate on a baby – but even the little boy’s face seems to read “THIS b*tch” or “Here we go again” doesn’t it? Like he knows what’s coming.
Anyway, I’ve liked Sandra Bullock since Speed and A Time to Kill (YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!) and I actually plan on adopting when I have a family, so I wish her and her son well.
for some reason the necklace/beads concern me
-i was in the checkout line and wanted to see more pics (i need to pinch his damn cheeks!!). the necklace was made by the other kids to symbolize the unity of the family. so it’s pretty much a gift from his former older sis.
awwww that is beautiful. i am going to purposefully stand in a long checkout line this wk so i can read the whole story*.
*notice i wont be BUYING this issue.
YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!
-one of the best movie lines ever!! bruahahaha..
i also miss Dave Chappelle.
I sometimes marvel at the Black Bourgeoisie.
The fact of the matter is, Sandra and her hubby were going thru with this adoption before the news even broke that her husband was having an affair. She also stated in an interview, that she did not know what race the baby would be. It just so happens she was cleared to adopt this African American baby. Also, she has had this baby since before the Oscars, she kept it on the low-low, because she didn’t want this adoption to influence her Oscar votes….
I personally, don’t care that she is adopting a black baby. I’m somewhat concerned that more celebrity black folks aren’t doing it. Its kinda embarrasing that white folks are going outta there way to adopt our babies and other minorities…and the black folks that can dont. Kudos to Sandra Bullock, I know she is probably going to be a great Mom..and she seems like she will be sensitive to his cultural needs as well….
I also have no problems with Sandra Bullock. She’s always appeared pretty grounded to me considering where she earns a living. Even more, I have no basis for questioning her sincerity in adopting a Black baby and wish her the best in mothering him.
So it’s strictly nothing personal when I say my gut reaction after looking at that picture made me feel incredibly sad…
Sad for an endangered Black family unit,
sad at the possibilty that this beautiful child may never fully know the richness of the Black experience,
and sad about everything from the identity issues he may struggle with to his perceptions of beauty and the fact that he may be victim of another failed social experiment.
(Sure would be good to hear from a brother or sister who was adopted by a white family to hear some first-hand accounts.)
Then, after processing these initial feelings, and tryin’ to be a glass-half-full kinda person, another sense tells me this child will likely have advantages that many adopted children could never have because of his mother’s ability to provide.
But in the end I’m left wishing there were more adoptive Black couples and fewer of our unwanted/unplanned/adoption-availabe babies.
I’m going to say this. Being black is a bit overrated. Nobody can raise someone to be black. Heck, I’m the product of an African father and African American mother. How much do you want to bet my life experience was not the typical “black” experience. I will bet that it can be argued that I can’t even raise a kid to be “black” despite being “blacker” than many who claims to be black. So for me, I say, what is the point? If I, a black man can’t be counted upon to properly raise a black kid, why should I have more expectation on someone else?
@kamakula
” Heck, I’m the product of an African father and African American mother. How much do you want to bet my life experience was not the typical “black” experience. I will bet that it can be argued that I can’t even raise a kid to be “black” despite being “blacker” than many who claims to be black”
I also am a product of an African father and African American mother. While I do agree that my experience was not the typical “Black” experience(especially being in the midwest) I still think Black folks can school you on more. Some situations can only be related to by folks of color.
That is my point. So given that I’ve not lived this experience and it doesn’t really factor into how I do things and how I view the world, why would it matter whether or not I can pass this on to my child – or whether someone else would be better equipped to do so?
I know someone is going to have words about what Im writing but not caring… here we go.
I haven’t had the pleasure for Sandra Bullock but her NOLA BFF, Harry Connick Jr., Ive met several times. And the best thing about him is he is truly color blind. Forget a ”ghetto” or ”black” pass, Harry Connick would fit in more at a Sunday fish fry than other white celeb I know. He was raised along with the Marsalis family and spent most of his life around the black community. And not in a “Mammy” kind of way. So praise Jesus some of that rubbed off on Sandra Bullock. I know she white through and through, but her kid is going to be surrounded by, not only positive black role models, but a rainbow coalition of people.
What the world should be paying attention to, is the fact that Sandra Bullock didn’t go running off to get a kid to show off like some knock off Prada bag, “Angelina Jolie Im talking to you,fix your daughters hair”
Word.
You had me nodding right along with you until you said something about “fixing” Zahara’s head. That statement implies that there’s something wrong with the fact that Z wears her hair natural, unencumbered by 50 million barrettes, and in a shake n go.
Since that’s how my daughter wears her hair, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Z’s hair is clean and shining with health. That’s more than I can say for some of these babies walking around with hairlines that start behind their ears, weaved up and beaded/barretted to death.
That was based on the photos I’ve seen. I love the natural look, especially on kids. Lord knows it saves times for moms. But the pics I saw of this kid, she just looked disheveled in general. Her hair just looked like it wasn’t touched at all. I’ll toss it up to a bad day with a toddler.
THANK YOU I was thinking the same thing. I can’t figure out if it’s having white parents that makes her out hairstyle unacceptable to black people, or the very texture of her hair. I suspect it’s a combination of both issues black people have. It’s not that it’s uncombed, it’s that her hair isn’t considered “good” enough to be worn out and that it looks “wild.” And wild hair means unkempt hair. And unkempt hair suggests that it is dirty, uncombed or carelessly styled. And when you are black, your hair is to be done, and done black hair on a child is only ok in one of two ways….like a Just For Me ad or with rubber bands and balls. That’s what I think folks mean when they say white parents aren’t doing their kids’ hair..it’s hangups and image BS.
it’s hangups and image BS
That’s truly what it is.
if hair is the only thing unkept on this baby then i don’t see the problem
idk if sandy’s love for NOLA or her new black child was at all the influence of Harry CJ “rubbing off” on her but i will say this… Harry CJ can rub [off[ on ME any day!!
that is all…
* moves into line behind you -Just saw this & am right there with you, yelling ..”I got next”
that is all from me…
All I think about this is: why didn’t she adopt me? lol
I said the SAME thing! LOLOLOLOLOL
IMO- I’m just glad that this here lil boy will be raised by someone who made a choice to raise him, regardless of thier race, I don’t know Sandra Bullock personally, so I can only speak on my whatever bullsh*t I read or have seen of her, all of that being said, as far as timing goes, I say perhaps it’s unfortunate at worst, but someone adopting period, no matter what the race is an admirable thing most of the time except in those ridiculously extreme attention getting I want an African baby (Madonna, I’m looking at you ) cases. Adoption is not like “foster parenting” which I personally have seen as a huge “money making” scheme in out community, and I’m not talking just about Antoine Fisher. I have seen first hand folks who have their own biological kids & then foster children, and the way they treat those who are not their own biological children is shameful at best. Choosing to adopt is a huge commitment and raising a child is a ginormous responsibility no matter what race, color, or creed they are, it is certainly an advantage to have someone of means raise a child , but having $$ does not constitute great parenting nor does it guarantee the outcome you desire. I for one am not hatin on Sandra for adopting Louis , good for her for stepping up & making a life long commitment , cause that’s what the eff parenting is, regardless of her race or the race of the baby. I’m just glad to see that this lil boy won’t be languishing in someone’s foster care system and be written off as damaged goods due to “the system” that was supposed to be there to protect him. Can we take a minute to even ever be concerned about things that we really need to be concerned about, somehow I’m thinking there are far greater things for us to worry about than why Sandra Bullock is adopting a Black baby…just my opinion, *side note @ Panama- “I recognize that white people are not equipped (not even my own mother) to raise Black babies”- Do you really have a white mother? or was this just inserted for the “let’s see who’s really payin attention factor”, and if so, why do you think she wasn’t equipped? *just wondering..BTW-welcome back we missed you *E-Hugs
preach on
“I recognize that white people are not equipped (not even my own mother) to raise Black babies”
I told my wife – who is white the same thing. All the good intentions in the world don’t change the fact the european prejudice has been exported world wide.
i don’t care who you are…if you ain’t black you can’t teach it..cause you can’t live it…..plain and simple. All these women adoptin blacks = gettin the kid w/o the stigma of bein with a black man.
just wondering here, the POTUS was raised by his white mother & white grandparents, his Kenyan daddy wasn’t really around , and yes he did have a “different kind of upbringgin” world citizen & whatnot I guess, but I didn’t hear a whole lot about the Black folks in his life during his formative years in Hawaii, and I think he turned out ok with his Blackness all that being said , not really sure if the whole “if you ain’t black you can’t teach it.” theory holds up here…and also just wondering if all of our “Black experiences” are so different, how exactly do you teach that? just wondering here…
Honestly, when I had my son- who is half black and half white, I WAS concerned that I wouldnt be able to give him the “black experience”… (his father isn’t around WHATSOEVER)… but when I look at Obama- who, like you said- was raised by majority white folks… I KNOW my son will be ok. Obama didn’t only give hope to black males, but biracial males as well. I CAN tell my son he can get a Harvard education and become leader of one of the most powerful countries… AND I don’t think he will be as “confused” as many people try to assume he will be.
Honestly…being the product of an eye-talian mother & a westindian-kneegrow daddy…hasn’t ever been a problem for me,and my daddy was out & about most of the time, not really incolved in parenting & whatnot, but I’m not a male, and i’m not really sure that any of that makes a difference at all, I don’t know if the issue is that she’s single & white and adopting a Black child, or that people think it’s some “savethblackkids ” syndrome , fad, or whatever….You just gone ahead & raise your son , and don’t worry about him being confused….He will be fine….
“I WAS concerned that I wouldnt be able to give him the “black experience”… (his father isn’t around WHATSOEVER)… but when I look at Obama- who, like you said- was raised by majority white folks… I KNOW my son will be ok. ”
I get the sentiment behind whites not being able to teach a black kids the nuances of the black experience, but honestly (and I’m using the same argument used that whites can’t raise Blacks adequately), the only TRUE way to learn the black experience is to live it. Which, means, the child will learn for themselves when THEY experience it.
i’ll get back to you when my kids are grown….15 years or so…
as for teachin….history…whole lot of readin
“and also just wondering if all of our “Black experiences” are so different, how exactly do you teach that? just wondering here…”
by and large brown,black,tan,yellow folk tend to accept and embrace differences…at least in my experience. Teach by example……..probably the best way.
*in class….peekin in when I can*
You told your wife that she wasn’t properly equipped to raise her own children???
I’m with Deviant. If you are this hardcore about whites parenting black kids, why in the name of Webster did you choose to have a kid with a white woman?
Two, by your logic, shouldn’t biracial parents be the only ones qualified to raise a biracial child? Your kids are gonna fire you! LOL.
she’s not parentin alone…..for one. usually, we work well together…usually
actually…..i see us all part of the same human family and in a perfect world…these would be non-issues…
we live in a world where prejudice is still a reality….that you got to navigate. ignorin it won’t make it go away – critical thinkin combined with action over time….a long time
yeah….i did as it relates to bein black in america.
The relevance is other folks don’t see the kids and say they’re german, italian, scottish, african, mexican…they say the kids are black.
it’s just my opinion…and it don’t mean it reflects everybody’s reality
Like seriously????
Adoption doesn’t happen overnight. This adoption took over 4 years so the people who keep screaming “she up and adopted a kid” get the facts straight first.
I completely agree. A parent versus NO parent? Are people really that hung up on race that they would prefer the child remain parent-less? These are the same ones screaming people shouldn’t be judged BY their race. This double standard makes no sense. The child has a shot now. White or not, he now has a mother. How beautiful is that?
Parents who adopt a child of a different race even different ethnicity should make it a point to educate themselves and the child about their culture/background etc. so it is not lost. They deserve to embrace what they are as well as what their parents are.
Parents who adopt a child of a different race even different ethnicity should make it a point to educate themselves and the child about their culture/background etc. so it is not lost. They deserve to embrace what they are as well as what their parents are.
great point
Sandy seems to be normal by Hollywood standards so I think the kid will be okay. A seemingly good person did a good thing by preventing a little black boy from growing up in the system. The only reason that this is even a story is that it’s Sandra Bullock. If this were about the chick who played Peg Bundy no one, white America or black would care.
I just wondered why the Jolie’s and Madonna’s of the world always leave the hemisphere to adopt a child.
i hear all y’all talkin bout how good it is that the child has a home….and on one level it is.
Spend some time talkin to the kids adopted by white folks….and you’ll see it ain’t all roses. At some point, they will have to come to grips with being black in america…and all that entails. And ain’t many white folks can teach that….like P said.
I hope the child has some real down to earth blacks folks in his life to balance out all the hollywood hype bs.
“At some point, they will have to come to grips with being black in america…”
At some point all Black people have to come to grips with this, adopted or not.
And “being Black in America” means what exactly? Haven’t we had this discussion at VSB before?
I think that we all need a reality check. That boy is gonna be Black, white mother or not. Whatever morals and teachings she instills in him will hopefully make him want to be a good compassionate and intelligent person. That’s all any parent can do.
I’m really trying to think on what she can’t teach him about “being Black” that he won’t learn on his own BY BEING BLACK. we’ve said it time and time again, there is no standard Black experience. No rite of passage into blackness. If you put 100 Black people in a room the only thing they would all have in common is that they have an abundance of melanin in they’re skin.
No one is even bringing up that him growing up with someone who doesn’t look like him may be a GOOD thing. Maybe it will make him more tolerant and accepting of people’s differences. Maybe he will appreciate the achievements and progress that minorities have made in this country and the world which many “Black” people take for granted and are seriously apathetic towards during months that aren’t February.
We want to be treated equal and we want the world to be colorblind but we still don’t see ourselves that way. If we did we’d see the real truth of this situation: A woman adopted a baby.
their not they’re…
Where’s the edit button when you need it?
“Where’s the edit button when you need it?”
It goes away too damn fast. *shakes fist at edit button*
“We want to be treated equal and we want the world to be colorblind but we still don’t see ourselves that way. If we did we’d see the real truth of this situation:”
actually i don’t want the world to be colorblind…what i do want is to not be judged simply because of my color. The more colors the better…
just my .02.
But you’re judging a person’s ability to raise this child judged simply on their color? How is that right?
Saying a kid needs a black role model is saying there exists a model for being black. No one can teach you how to be black. You just ARE. No matter what this kid learns in his home or in his life he will BE BLACK.
People are making it seem that he will never learn about important AMERICAN events such as the Civil Rights Movement or slavery. He won’t know how to struggle or appreciate the contributions of historic Black AMERICANS.
There is this weird perception that being raised by Black people has some benefit to being raised by non-Black people. I’d like to know exactly what that is. Because I’m pretty sure that Michael Steele and Alan Keyes were raised by Black people and look how they turned out.
“But you’re judging a person’s ability to raise this child judged simply on their color? How is that right?”
it’s all context….and most white folks don’t live in a minority context 24/7/365….those that choose to …can opt out when/if gets uncomfortable.
“There is this weird perception that being raised by Black people has some benefit to being raised by non-Black people. I’d like to know exactly what that is. Because I’m pretty sure that Michael Steele and Alan Keyes were raised by Black people and look how they turned out.”
Agreed……when the sh!t hits the fan….they’ll learn too. I’m far from bias free…just readin those names had me rollin.
finally…the role parents play is to provide guidance so every next generation won’t have to start from ground zero…if we all have to learn everything on our own every damn time….Lord help us
damn, you spoke truth all up thru this comment!!! but i appreciate this esp…
At some point, they will have to come to grips with being black in america…and all that entails.
because honestly, who is to say black children raised by their own BLACK BIOLOGICAL parents are any more “black” than the next black?? hell, clarence thomas was raised by blacks and he doesnt exactly stand for all that is GOOD in the black community nor does he sympathetic with the “black struggle”. so black raising black does NOT always ensure a lover of black culture and well-adjusted citizen of the world.
i hear you…i just see adopted black kids daily…and when you hear how they think about themselves….it crazy and in not a good way.
so i’m biased…..
i know plenty of black kids raised by their biological black parents who dont have a good self-image or know sh*t about their black roots. the COLOR or the parent doesnt necessarily dictate how well a child is going to grow up. being raised with tolerance and a clear understanding of the beauty of cultural diversity is whats important–and that can be taught by ANY body.
At some point, they will have to come to grips with being black in america…and all that entails.
Hell, I have had to come to grips with what being black in America means… I had always been black in my home country but never in America… It didn’t completely mess me up… at least not that I can noticeably realize…
Sometimes I have a hard time understanding what it is that us black people really want? We don’t want to be considered a monolith unit (which we shouldn’t) demanding Tyler Perry and Hollywood to diversify their views of us… and then we turn around and speak about the “Black American Experience”… is there a unique one? If so, where should we go to have it certified?
@Sula
“Sometimes I have a hard time understanding what it is that us black people really want?”
I don’t think we know what we really want.
“You want it one way, but it’s the other way.”
I can’t speak for all black folks…..at the end i’m human….a creation of the Divine…no better and certainly no worse than anybody else.
I’m in the, “YES ADOPT AN AMERICA CHILD REGARDLESS OF COLOR BUT I’M GLAD HE’S BLACK BOAT!” Kind of like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s kids…though they’re Aussie so their adopting of American black kids is a foreign adoption too technically.
Anyway, I’m glad Sandra did it…and since it takes a hell of alot longer to adopt in the American system she probably started this process back during filming or at the end of The Blind Side…WAY before the psycho husband slipped.
I work with abused/neglected kids every day in Maryland and I know how many tens of thousands of them (especially Black and Hispanic kids) never make it into a permanent (with relatives or through adoption). Children need homes and while the foster care system can take care of their basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, education) its not even close to being part of a family that chooses to love you forever. With all that said, bravo to ANYONE who adopts ANY kid (especially domestic adoptions). And for all the people who complain about White people adopting Black and Hispanic children go out and adopt a kid (or some kids) or your own or…SHUT THE F*CK UP!!
I’m just curious how that racist ex-husband of hers felt about adopting a little black boy.
Personally I think it’s a noble act, no matter what shade fo skin you are. Whilst I recognize that being black in Europe and Black in America are not the same thing, I still can’t really sympethise with Black-Americans who think its a fashion trend or publicity stunt. I think they need to stop being so idiotic and see the bigger picture that yes black people want a better future for their children, but what stops a white person from wanting the same thing?
I take no issue with Sandra Bullock (or any of the other white celebs) adopting a black child. Especially since, as someone stated above, I don’t see a plethora of well-to-to Black families, women, or men putting their bid in for the kids.
I hear many people questioning their (whites) motives behind adopting and saying that their doing it for whatever “selfish” reasons, but I’m a firm believer that people have children in the first place for selfish reasons. The whole thought process of “I wanna have a child”, “I want someone to carry on my name”, “I want to have a child to love me unconditionally and I give the same back”…it’s all based in selfishness, so I don’t see what the issue is.
you bring up some valid points. biological parents have kids for selfish reasons all the time. yet ppl are up in arms because a well-to-do family has provided one more child with a home?? *smh*
This whole thing is suspect.
Someone answer this question for me.
Why would a white couple want to adopt a black child and bring them into a house where the man thinks nazi’s and nazi paraphernalia is cool?
Rescue that child NOW!
And to all of the Super-smart VSB’s/VSS’s, it doesnt matter that they are no longer together. She was with him for years and that nazi shit was never a problem for. She is unfit to be a parent.
By that logic, Barack Obama is unfit to be the leader of the American people, simply because for 20-years he listened to the preachings of Jerimiah Wright who espoused anti-white statements.
So, since I have enjoyed Burn Hollywood Burn by Public Enemy, I’m no longer allowed to enjoy a non-black movies? Can I no longer expect police protection because I listened to, enjoyed, and did not speak out against NWA’s F*ck the Police?
I find it difficult to believe that you have never been in a situation where you didn’t speak out against something you didn’t agree with, but instead went with the flow simply because it didn’t affect you specifically. Not saying it’s right, but I understand.
I can’t believe you compared the President, Public Enemy and NWA to hitler!
VSS?…Not so much
The point of my statement stands regardless of the extent or level of the atrocity referenced.
“VSS?…Not so much”, touche’, but don’t be so hard on yourself, we’re all family here.
Im glad we are all family here. im the cousin that everyone is nervous around because i always call it like I see it. Nonsense ALWAYS gets called out when I’m around.
Sense you think your thought process on this situation is the correct one, tell me what the public reaction to this scenario would be.
Let’s say Farrakhan had an ex-wife. She adopts a blonde/blue caucasian child. She might be the salt of the earth as a person but you know that will not matter. Farrakhan hasn’t killed millions of people like hitler but what would the public reaction be?
Concede, Kinfolk
Oh…the VSS comment was made because your comments sounded feminine(sorry VSS’s). I had to enable images to see that you appear to be a man.
Pass the potato salad.
My point was not regarding what the public reaction would be, but was instead indicating that just because the ex-wife, using your scenario, chose to adopt blonde & blue, doesn’t imply that her intent was flawed because of who she associated with in the past.
In your scenario, you are absolutely correct, there would be extensive public outcry if that situation came to fruition, but public outcry does not equate to malicious intent on the part of the ex. Her views of dissent by be the exact reason she became the ex. Hell, there was outcry when Obama chose not to wear a lapel pin of the U.S. flag. That didn’t mean he was unpatriotic, it just means he didn’t wear a lapel pin.
Oh, so, Panda you ain’t even gonna address why you haven’t been here in the past couple days? Unless you hid the answer within the post somewhere, which if you did…well played.
Anywhat. On to the topic:
“So my people, why does anybody even care who these people are adopting? At least they’re adopting…right??”
I think people (rightfully) care when there’s an alternative agenda other than simply loving the child. That agenda could be “the white knight badge”, “publicity” (which, um, I ain’t sayin’ for sure what Sandra’s intentions are, but People has a rep of being a famewhore’s dream is all I’m sayin’) or “Look at my accessory! Ya’ll Chanel wearin’ hos ain’t got SH*T on my darkie!”
Overall, I hope they’re happy together and that baby has the most hilarious expression on his face!
@Cheekie, Oh, so, Panda you ain’t even gonna address why you haven’t been here in the past couple days? Unless you hid the answer within the post somewhere, which if you did…well played.
trust me. we’d need a whole series of posts dedicated to just that 2 day hiatus.
“trust me. we’d need a whole series of posts dedicated to just that 2 day hiatus.”
Ok, great. Lookin’ forward to those posts.
there’s an alternative agenda
Ok, I need this potential and possible alternative agenda to be brought forth and I need to be explained how said agenda will hinder the growth and flourishing of a kid. I haven’t had toast this morning and I am usually a bit thick in the skull.
Thank ya kindly.
“Ok, I need this potential and possible alternative agenda to be brought forth and I need to be explained how said agenda will hinder the growth and flourishing of a kid. ”
It’s been said many times in the thread, but treating kids like accessories is not the business. They’re people. It’s not difficult to adopt a child if you have millions of dollars like celebs do. It’s even easier to put them off on your nannies. They may have a lavish life, but will they truly have parents if the parents aren’t truly taking care of them other than writing checks for their necessities? I see/hear it all the time with even upper middle class and rich non-celebs. Parents not really parenting their children and just throwing them of to their nanny. You don’t think that would have an affect on the child? But, I guess because they have a richer life (moneywise), that makes it ok…
Negative.
Look, like I said, I’m not accusing every celeb of this alternative agenda, I just notice how people like to make this a trend. And how it’s not so farfetched to see the pattern with celebs after a certain celeb starts the “trend”.
Parents not really parenting their children and just throwing them of to their nanny. You don’t think that would have an affect on the child? But, I guess because they have a richer life (moneywise), that makes it ok…
I am still struggling to see how those “issues” listed are worst than a kid staying in the system.
Those issues are possibles that may or may not happen. A child being raised in the system is at a clear and awful disadvantage, and that’s a reality.
So I fail to comprehend how having parental hang ups (like we all do) is worst than not being afforded the experience AT ALL.
“I am still struggling to see how those “issues” listed are worst than a kid staying in the system.
Those issues are possibles that may or may not happen. A child being raised in the system is at a clear and awful disadvantage, and that’s a reality.
So I fail to comprehend how having parental hang ups (like we all do) is worst than not being afforded the experience AT ALL.”
Yeah, I wasn’t saying it’s worse. But you can put the default “Well at least this ain’t happenin!” to EVERY issue that people raise. It’s like saying “Yeah well his leg is broken in 5 places, but at least he ain’t dead!!” Doesn’t make the former issue not effed up, does it? Again, I’m just tryin’ to play devil’s advocate and put some understanding to the concerns raised in general. I already said that I don’t know Sandra’s motives and don’t believe she has separate agendas, I’m just saying that concerns regarding said agendas in general are valid.
All I can do is hope that the intent behind these recent adoptions are based out of love. Doesn’t mean I’m not happy they’re out of the system. This isn’t a black/white issue. There are many gray areas to adoption and just because they’re out of the system doesn’t mean they are with a good family. And that includes rich people. Sure, they may have it “better” (that’s subjective and a case-by-case basis..can’t make this sweeping generalization), but that doesn’t mean they’re still safe and/or happy by default just because the adoptive parent has money.
Parents not really parenting their children and just throwing them of to their nanny. You don’t think that would have an affect on the child? But, I guess because they have a richer life (moneywise), that makes it ok…
Preach chile!! And we know 2520s are not exactly known for child rearing. PERIOD.
The only issue that I have with the adoption is the fact that they have to have the obligatory photo shoot to “show-off” the baby to the world like it’s their trophy. But I have the same issue whether the baby was adopted or born naturally. If they would adopt the child without all the “hype” I think this would be less of a topic. I’m glad the baby has a parent that will love him. Handsome li’l kid too! Angelina, Madonna & Sandra are just the latest. Spielberg and Cruise adopted black kids a long time ago. Wish I could do it but I can’t right now. I can’t even adopt-a-pet right now. lol
Most proud parents show-off their kids. Sandra (Angelina & Madonna) simply have a national, if not international, audience.
yep….it’s just that People et. al is famous people’s cell phone pics/photos in cubicles.
I have FAR more important issues in my life. Giving a damn about who or what race from where Sandra Bullock has decided to adopt from is not one of them. I see nothing wrong with her giving a baby (regardless of skin tone) a home. People need to worry about themselves; too much negativity over nothing. I commend her for even wanting to put up with a child.
I have purposely not read the preceding comments so if I’m repeating what has already been said, forgive me.
Now, to those who are bitching, moaning & groaning, and finding fault (or trying to) with S.B. adopting an American black baby I have to ask, ‘what are you doing to save any one of the thousands of black children in the foster care system in this country?’.
Yeah…I’ll wait……(queue Jeopardy theme music)
I say bravo..BRAVO…to anyone, black or white, willing to adopt a child out of the broken foster care system. Even if you can’t afford to adopt (adoption fees can be steep for an average family), then certainly research fostering a child. And get this…most states pay families to foster children to cover any medical needs, etc.
Okay, so you don’t want to take in a child with a murky background…Big Brothers/Big Sisters is another viable option. Where you can mentor a child.
The point I’m trying to make is stop criticizing anyone for doing something when all you’re doing is running off at the mouth. In this case, if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
Oh, and let me answer those questions that popped into your mind while reading my soapbox rant. NO. I don’t have children nor do I want any. However, I am a strong advocate for the babies. Yes. I volunteer! Yes. I’m just getting started in the BB/BS process.
BTW…I have to admit that those white celebrities who trek off to foreign countries to adopt children, specifically African children, it smells fishy. (yo! I’m talking about you Madonna and that great white hope Angelina Jolie) Then the other countless white people across America who opt to adopt Russian, Asian, etc children, spending upwards of $20K, before even considering adopting a child from their own area, black or white.
Take care of home…FIRST.
Just my two cents for the day….probably for the week.
::jumps off soapbox…folds it neatly, places it in my purse…exits stage left::
jumps off soapbox…folds it neatly, places it in my purse…exits stage left
1: where can i get a soap box that folds neatly into my purse! gimme! lol
2: kudos to starting the BB/BS process. I used to work for the organization, so I know the need (although, there are always lots of big sis and not enough big bros). It’s ardruous (sp?) but rewarding.
Can we talk about adopting a Russian child and then putting him on a plane ALONE(!!!!) back to Russia (did I mention ALONE!!!!!!?) because you are “scared of him”?
Anyone…? Anyone..?
at least she did give him cookies.
Has anyone stopped and thought: “what if there ARE some black parents/celebs out there adopting they just aren’t being reported and revered to the level of Madonna et al” and have asked: “Why?” Hmmmm..
http://www.newsweek.com/id/194886
or are we just too busy jumping on the bandwagon bashing whoever questions a 2520 just because they’re now somewhat treating us like human beings and gave us a few extra seats on MSNBC and yet still feed us the lie that we are too incapable, lazy and every other excuse in the book as to why we can’t/wont adopt that we have to go and bring down our own VSS/VSBs for not doing so?
Methinks the latter.
Is it a crime that they dont require the parents to take classes that could help them with dealing with another race and/or culture. Being ignorant isnt love. Even so, trying to remain colorblind sadly doesnt help to pull the child through in a world that is very racist.
people telling others to shut up or put up should shut up and RESEARCH.
#knowledgeispower
I don’t find it suspicious at all that the child she adopted is black. I think it’s wonderful that a child has a home. And even better that she’s taking care of “home” first by adopting in the U.S. Heck, I’m a little jealous. I wish somebody would adopt me and attempt to give me a bitter life.
I don’t see what the big deal is. Really.
@LaBakir,
I am jealous. I don’t need to be adopted but I’m looking for a “Sponsor”.
@Wu Young Agent of M.E.
See man…that sponsor stuff can get a little tricky. Don’t need anybody getting confused. But if I just had some adoptive parents….or extremely wealthy older siblings…it’s all good. At least they’ll never want to take it to the next level,lol
@LaBakir
That’s true. I don’t need any of that next level sh*t. The last thing I want is having to do to the annual usher’s board dinner with some old lady. I will now recant on the search for a sponsor.
@ Wu Young Agent of M.E.
LMAO! You feel me? I def don’t want to have to flip over big daddy’s velcro straps on his sneakers b/c his joints are bothering him.
You see, I’ve given this “sponsor” thing some thought. Your sponsor really needs to be someone you’re not attracted to. I say this b/c of you’re attracted to them, and them to you….then somebody is eventually going to want to go “there”. In which case, if all the other qualities line up…the sponsor may as well be your boyfriend or girlfriend, ya dig?
@LaBakir
Damn girl! You can help big daddy with those velcro straps you know his knees haven’t been right since he hurt them in Korea. That’s just cold.
@ Wu Young Agent of M.E.
LMAO!!! I just can’t! He better get some Crocs and call it a day.
@LaBakir
Just cold.
@LaBakir
“I don’t see what the big deal is. Really”
I don’t either. I see Black folks have kids for all the wrong reasons. At least she (on the surface) seems to have thought this out and is in a position to take care of the child.
@ Humble_One
Exactly! I’d take her adopting a black baby over another season of 16 and Pregnant. All these little girls having babies…smh.
“I def don’t want to have to flip over big daddy’s velcro straps on his sneakers b/c his joints are bothering him.”- *DEAD…..at the visual
I agree with you P, could not have said it better.
I’m not at all suspicious of Bullock’s adoption. I think it’s a wonderful thing. I’m actually more impressed that it’s a child in the United States than anything, because we definitely have children who are in need of a good home right here on our own turf. The only thing I wonder about is if adoption is fair for the regular loving individuals who aren’t also celebrities. I’ve done no research to support this claim, however I doubt that a regular Joe in the midst of divorce and scandal would be allowed to proceed with their adoption plans, no matter how noble. Does celebrity give you perks in this department as well? My gut tells me “yes.”
seeing as how this adoption has been years in the making, i think theyve put sandy and hubby thru (for the most part) the same process. could you imagine if it were MORE drawn out for the “average” family?
also, she’s had this baby for months now. before all the drama of her husbands affair and certainly before the talks of a divorce.
Wow.
Who knew that a White person adopting a Black child would be such a controversy. We should be applauding the fact that she is adopting and giving a child the opportunity to live a life that he deserves that he might not have otherwise had, had he stayed in the system. Race or any other factor should not matter. Giving a child the opportunity to be raised by loving, caring parent(s) should be the real story maker here.
I don’t really care. If anyone one wants to raise or take care of a child they didn’t birth then I commend them. You can’t tell me a Black baby is better off in a Adoption Agency than being in a White family. There is something about growing up and being Black that the child should know. If Sandra Bullock is aware of that she should try her best to address that. She would do that baby a disservice by not doing it. I could be wrong but I don’t think she did this for press. I can say that I do feel a certain way about 2520s going to Haiti, Sudan, Ethiopia, etc and adopting kids. I always get this feeling of “ninjas can’t take care of themselves so 2520s must come and save them”. But at the same time there isn’t a rush of middle class and wealthy African-Americans going to these countries to adopt children so I’m not mad at Angelina Jolie or Sandra Bullock.
You can’t tell me a Black baby is better off in a Adoption Agency than being in a White family.
I wanna look at the people who are making this claim in the face when they are saying it. Like are people serious?
“I always get this feeling of “ninjas can’t take care of themselves so 2520s must come and save them”.
how can the burden of expecting AAs to adopt be placed on them when almighty whitey have to come and ‘save’ them in the first place? There isn’t a rush of AAs that have the same economic freedom as most 2520s…
#letsthinkpeople
Okay Y’all… Can we stop all the “State of the Black Union” deepness for one minute and relax??
It seems to me that Sandra Bullock is “good people” and was in the adoption process for a WHILE. I read the People Magazine article. She’s been having this baby pre-Jesse James tomfoolery, and she fell in love with the people and the city of New Orleans…When she met the baby for the first time, she fell in love with him, and “What a Wonderful World” was singing in her mind, thus naming the baby Louis. I mean, (I can’t believe I’m saying this) love has no color! If this baby gets a supportive, happy home, then so be it! I’m sure that she has friends that are Black and other minorities that will support her..
So, I say, quit trippin! Another baby has left the system to a safe and loving home! If I had the money, I’d get me a cutie patooty like Louis! (haha that rhymed)
*leaves soapbox and drops the mic*
Sexual Chocolate!!!!
I don’t care. Black children are the least likely to be adopted anyways. Seems like a good thing to me. Adopting a kid of any race is one of the most noble things somebody can do.
*And how the heck to you add a pic on here? Iv’e been lost for the longest!
gravatar.com
“Shouldn’t we just be glad that a
Blackbaby from America actually got adopted?”Yes.
My thing is, are black people going out and adopting these kids? Nope. So you’d rather let the baby be raised in the foster care system with no love or attention? Or take the chance that they’ll have a slight identity crisis over having black parents? I’ll take identity crisis over parentless any day.
Don’t knock people for doing what you aren’t willing to do.
over having black parents
Meant “over having white parents”
To all those people complaining about how a Black child cannot be raised effectively by a White person : Where the hell is YOUR adopted Black baby?
That made me chuckle for real.
Kudos to Sandra Bullock for rescuing an American born black child from the system and giving him an opportunity to grow up as an educated individual capable of being a productive member of society. Sure, he won’t have the traditional “black” experience and may actually find difficulty relating to many who look like him, but if he is taught to be socially adept, it really won’t matter. Besides, he can watch Good Times and a host of Tyler Perry movies to better understand the “black cultural experience”. More importantly however, this kid has a chance to grow up and prove to the Stephanie Grace’s of the world that it is opportunity, not genetics, that becomes the true precursor for intellectually-based achievement.
Why a black baby and not a white one? If we are all truly equal, does it really matter? An adopted kid is an adopted kid. White babies have no problem with getting adopted. This child won’t have the misfortune of learning late in life that he was adopted…that question will arise early. Too many black babies become black adolesents in the system.
With this being “post-racial” America, we no longer have to fit into the boxes crafted by a stereotypical view of what it means to be black. We can excel at Presidency or Thuggery…whichever path you have chosen to align yourself with, so long as you are prepared to reap the benefits, both positive and negative, associated with doing so. Being provided an opportunity in a loving environment, assuming this becomes the case, will more likely lead this child to a path of being an asset to society.
Sandra Bullock should be praised for having the intestinal fortitude to stand in the spotlight of a white America who adores her and be an example for bridging the racial divide that others only give lip service to overcoming…timing be damned! Besides, how many black babies do you plan to rescue from the system?
I agree with some of the other posts. I really dont see the problem especially when there are so many African babies that need to be adopted. If Black folks have an issue with whites adopting then they should start adopting themselves. The idea that you’d prefer to have a child in the system rather than in a good home somewhat baffles me. I understand that adoption isnt an option for everybody but for some it is so shut up and let these kids have a good life. This is the same argument that I have about people that complain about the government but don’t vote or people that talk about how bad their neighborhoods are and dont do anything about it. SHUT UP & DO SOMETHING!
My only complaint is a petty one (but could be a profitable opportunity for someone so I dont feel that bad for posting it)………….
Learn to do their hair!! Seriously!! Someone should offer a class to white adoptive parents on black hair & skin!!!!!!
I don’t know if I agree that more black celebrities NEED to adopt black babies…nobody should have a kid or go through the adoption process unless it’s something they want to do, not because other celebrities are doing it; that kind of thinking works for fashion trends and pets, not raising a kid. It really is a waste of breath to complain about the race of the adoption parents. We know lots of parents who successfully and singlehandedly f*cked up their kids who were of their same race (John Phillips, who had sex with his own kid and everybody at whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com). Although I am suspicious of most white people, at any given time, I don’t see Sandra standing in the way of his ethnic or racial development. I think it’s just as important to have a loving parent who will give him access to the institutions and a stress-free life. If he needs lessons in Hollywood Blackness she can drop him off at Will and Jada’s.
Finally I also don’t get what’s wrong with Zahara’s hair or why people are embarrassed by it/for her. It looks normal. It doesn’t need to lie flat against her skull or be braided to an inch of its life to be considered done or “combed.” We don’t need a white parent to teach us how to have hang-ups and shame us for how we look starting from a young age…we do the job perfectly on our own.
If he needs lessons in Hollywood Blackness she can drop him off at Will and Jada’s.
Bwahahaha.
And I wholeheartedly agree about Zahara’s hair. People need to let that little girl enjoy her little girl hair worry free days.
At the end of the day, I’m happy that this little cutie has a new home. On the plus side he will be rollin in dough, so why not be happy for Sandra and little Louis or whatever his name is.
And you know what, it doesn’t matter if Sandra doesn’t know how to do ethnic hair. She probably wouldn’t have been doing it anyway, & since he is a guy all he’ll need is a barber. She has enough money to move one in with her if she wanted to.
+1 for us…hehe
My thoughts, Good for Sandra! The Media is just sensationalizing a secret adoption that was 4 years in the making! I think because of the scandal with her ex-husband this might show some shadiness/ suspicion, now. If anything, the story should be on Jesse James, I think he wanted out of his marriage with Sandra and cheated with a Nazi girl with tatoos to show you how he really feels about the whole adopting a “Black child”, but that’s my own conspiracy theory.
Either way, Louis will be provided for to the utmost and good for him. He looks so adorable. :
OK let me touch on something else since a hot topic seems to be that white people shouldnt adopt black children because that child won’t be “in touch” with his black side….
My son is bi-racial and as has been established on this website in the past, most likely society will see him as a black man and not as a “mixed man” … I am raising him on my own since his father has decided he doesn’t want to be in his life. So essentially, I am a white woman raising a black man. On my own. Does this make me unqualified to be his mother? I am a damn good mother and my son is a perfectly happy child and will hopefully continue to be that way. I know I can never be a “black parent” to him- but I am all he has and I will make the best out of it to make sure he is well-rounded and as adjusted as possible.
Just like I’m sure Sandra will do for her son…
It doesn’t make you unqualified to be his mother at all. The bottom line is only a minority can understand what it is like to be just that, BUT you are very capable of raising him. And he may very well be a great man, but at the same time, I think that he probably needs a strong black man, maybe a mentor, to teach him about being a black man in America…That’s just reality
Funny you say that. In college I used to mentor a little (black) girl whose (adoptive) mother was white. The whole point of this mentoring program was for parents and kids like them. There’s like a whole group of transracially adoptive parents who recognize this and seem to be trying to bridge the cultural gap. But honestly, it made me feel weird. Like…I felt like I was trying to teach a lil girl how to be black. and do you know my Blackness gets questioned all the time (Ask P)? LOL. For the most part all I did was go on play dates with her and that was cool….but there was absolutely nothing “Black” about what we did together besides the color of our skin. I may have provided some hair tips, but in this day and age, youTube and the Internets is all you need for that.
All that to say, I’m not sure it’s such a big deal to have Black mentors in your life like this (i.e. to validate your Blackness card). Our Black experiences are what we go through being perceived as Black in this country, and specifically just the USA. You can’t “teach” that to anyone, and if you try, you look like a damn fool doing it.
ahhh. This makes me think…. I guess Ive always just been told I need to find “positive black male role models” for my son… but really- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?… like you said- what are they really gonna do that my white brother cant do for my son? My brother is a great role model- MIT educated (thought Id throw that in for Liz LOL)… good leader, etc… he may not have experienced some racial discriminations that black men do, but in the end he is still a good MALE role model… what WOULD be the duties of a BLACK male role model? Just warning him about DWB? I’m not trying to be funny, but it brings up another interesting conversation…
If I were to have to “teach” someone how to be white- I wouldnt even know how to go about that one bit.
LOL. Yeah. I’m an odd case because my mother is Native American (like a real live one from the reservation in New Mexico) and she raised me mostly as a single parent. (My mother was also raised by a Black family though.) Sure, she didn’t really know how to do my hair. She learned as she went along, like most parents in this situation. And honestly my hair isn’t exactly like most Black women’s hair (black hair stylists looked just as confused with my hair as my mother did), so it’s not like a Black woman could teach her how to do it “right” too, just teach her how to do it a “Black” way.
I think the vetting process for these role models is a bit strange, as well. I mean what constitutes a positive black role model and how good of a black person he actually is? Right, because you’re really looking for a good BLACK person, not just a good person lol. It feels assholish altogether. In situations like this, I tend to prefer that the white person involved LIKES black people in their free time, and that should be all that is necessary lol. You got black friends? you like black stuff? that’s enough right there. you don’t need to sign up for mentors or what have you. Just be interested in Black culture enough to be sensitive to our issues and that’s all you need.
Maybe the point of this mentoring program was just for the child to be around and be exposed to Black folks? It seems ridiculousy simple, but maybe that simple step was an important part of her development process. I think participating in that program at all was admirable, Liz!
I agree. Maybe being around black people that they wouldn’t normally see would make them see that there are other black people doing positive things. The mentor and mentee don’t have to talk or do “black” things, whatever that is, but the child can see a positive black person and maybe get someone that may in a small way counteract the negative images they see in the media everyday.
I am not naive to the fact that I don’t know what its like to be a black man in America- other than what Ive experienced while hanging out with black male friends or stories they have told me. I KNOW I cant teach him that… but I dont think that the fact that Sandra is white and cant teach her son that is a good enough reason for her not to adopt him. A white lady raising a black man is still better than a government run system raising a black man.
I have plenty of black male friends that can and will be positive role models to my son- and I know that nothing compares to having an actual good father as a role model- but that’s something I have no control over. I will do my best to expose my son to his father’s culture and “experiences”…
Like I said, I know I cant teach him those things, but I did want to drive the point home that being white doesn’t make you incompetent when it comes to raising a black child.
@Liz I think that if he doesn’t have ANY black men around him ever then a mentor is a good idea, now if he does then maybe the mentor is unneccessary.
@Grayse Yea, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what Sandra Madonna, Angelina (the list goes on) are doing. It’s great. And I think that it’s good that at least u realize that he needs people that look like him in his life to better understand himself. That is all…:)
Really, a Black mentor, one person to define all of Blacknesss to her child? That’s ludicrous, and I think it’s crazy to think one person can teach someone how to be Black. As much as we get mad at the monolith people try to put us in, we line up to say a mixed kid needs a Black mentor in his life?
We’re all flawed.
I’m puzzled by this anti-mentor sentiment. I certainly don’t find anything wrong with wanting your child to have a role model or adult guide to set a good example, and I would think in a situation where the father is not around, it would seem extra pertinent to receive this type of guidance. Not to get too deep into your business, @grayse, but if the Daddy isn’t around, is it safe to assume that side of the family is not present either? Does or did that concern you, it terms of your child being comfortable with that aspect of his racial identity, or no? Honest question.
But she did give the example of her brother being a strong, good man example around her son. Shouldn’t that be enough? Why does the kid need a specific BLACK role model is what we are all trying to understand. Shouldn’t a good role model, any good role model be enough?
I took absolutely no offense to your question
No, his side of the family isn’t around. I’d be surprised if they even knew my son exists. I just recently found out his “father” doesn’t even know how to spell is name. In my son’s case, I think he is BETTER off not having his biological father around, because in no way is he a “good black male role model” or a good role model period. (Now, people can judge me about why I would even conceive a child with such a person, but that’s a very personal story that has no place here)….
Of course I think my son should have good role models in his life. As I did state earlier, he has my brother, as well as my father. I have very admirable and successful male friends- of all races- that spend time with him.
I guess my only concern really is because his father is black and absolutely no good whatsoever and pretty much abandoned him, I’m more concerned that this may give my son a negative view of black men in general- which is something I do not want. I know not all back men are deadbeats like his father is. I don’t want my son to think that’s how the game works, cause it’s not. IF he ends up resenting his father I hope he resents the person, and not what he is. Does this make sense?
I have a very diverse group of friends as I said though, so I am hoping that they will make a favorable impression on my son… and I guess I will just have to wait and see which part of his identity he ends up relating to the most…
I would agree with TheOpinionated1. You can be a great mother. However, your son is also bi-racial and not JUST black. While blacks typically treat mixed people which can often just look like your average light skin person as black they still can experience problems that even differ from the typical black child in that they can still receive ill treatment from both races. The whole Unfortunate. I do think that it is important for any child to have his “culture” have a strong influence in his life. Clearly by your presence on this blog and by your interest in black men you probably have black friends either male or female that can be involved in your sons life.
I think Sandra Bullock can be a great mother for the boy and I am just glad she adopted an American!!! While obviously there are those abroad who may have worse conditions but TRUST Americans in orphanages are NOTTTT living the good life. If you really want a child please adopt American babies, as when they have a harsh life and turn to crime it can impact your or your family directly.
“I am a damn good mother and my son is a perfectly happy child and will hopefully continue to be that way”
that’s ALL any child should hope for.
listen. i get IN THEORY what people are trying to say about White parents/Black kids. But your experience doesn’t make you Black – the colour of your skin does. I was raised by my Black mom in a White suburb – and you know who considers me not Black enough?? BLACK PEOPLE. (it’s a damn shame..i face more racism from my ‘own’ people than others. i also live in Canada and the black/white relations/history is VERY different).
sure, there are nuances and things that can’t be taught or understood, and yes there comes a time when your outside and inside decide to battle it out. but at the end of the day – we need more parents being PARENTS. period. full stop.
i don’t care if it’s a gay couple, a white couple, an inter-racial couple – those who WANT to have the kids (and adopt), are usually more likely to love their children. why should we stop them? there are couples who spend thousands of dollars trying to conceive, while there are parents who are too busy poppin booty on youtube to teach their kids to read or write.
i recently watched a program about ‘honor killings’ in the Muslim community. i was disgusted, saddened and well cheesed that girls are being killed (and not even just shot, but being buried alive, kicked/stoned to death, chopped into pieces etc..) by their own FATHERS/Brothers with the assistance of the MOTHERS. They were blessed with being to have a child, but definitely didn’t deserve to.
so to end, kudos to anyone, anywhere doing anything to give a child what they need the most: love.
ps: it’s been mentioned why not a white baby? not to draw parallels to animals, but when people go to adopt a pet – they choose the one they fall in love with by sight since you aren’t really able to have a conversation with them. i wouldn’t know if there is a checklist that says: pick ethnicity of child you want (there is probably an opt-out box more likely) – but either way, she fell in love at first sight. why do we need to question it?
I admit it’s part irrational, but I really think a black couple adopting a white baby, considering all the issues in the black community with identity and all that, would be questionable. If you’re adopting to make a difference, and you’re black, I would say charity begins at home.
Or maybe I’m racist.
P.S I’m as black as it gets, being 100% African. lol.
those who WANT to have the kids (and adopt), are usually more likely to love their children.
*clapping fervently* great point!!
“i don’t care if it’s a gay couple, a white couple, an inter-racial couple – ” Wait, wait, wait…stop the press. I am mostly down with the sentiment you express, but I must say that it does and did give me pause when I see a white male gay couple adopting a black kid. I really don’t take issue with adults doing adult stuff, i.e. having gay relations, but raising a kid in an environment that predisposes him to consider it to be perfectly acceptable isolates him from the reality that our society, as a whole, does not embrace that as being perfectly acceptable. However, given the alternative of having said kid grow up outside of a caring/loving environment is admittedly worse, so even with my reservations about it, I’m willing to accept it. I’d be lying if I say I was perfectly ok with it though.
I really don’t take issue with adults doing adult stuff, i.e. having gay relations, but raising a kid in an environment that predisposes him to consider it to be perfectly acceptable isolates him from the reality that our society, as a whole, does not embrace that as being perfectly acceptable.
*smh* this makes me sad. why is it NOT acceptable for 2 gay ppl to live a happy normal life??? and have kids??? are there any stats to suggest kids raised by gay parents are any less capable of surviving in this world than kids raised by hetero parents??
i find anti-gay sentiments to be very un-smart and unfair. but then again, i may just be prejudice.
i find anti-gay sentiments to be very un-smart and unfair
So do I… And it boggles my mind at times.
“raising a kid in an environment that predisposes him to consider it to be perfectly acceptable isolates him from the reality that our society, as a whole, does not embrace that as being perfectly acceptable”
I get what you are saying. And understand WHY people object to gay couples adopted (and i presume your are more likely to object a male gay couple as opposed to a female lesbian couple?). i think they will be raised in a household where they will be taught the difference between tolerance and intolerance. whatever ‘isolation’ you feel they will be raised in, will quickly be dispelled and shattered once they go to school and are teased by other children.
interesting thing about gay couples adopting (or sometimes just gay people in general), there is this fear that they shouldn’t be allowed to do so because they will a) turn their kids gay b)sexually molest their children. in a sad and ironic twist..most pedophiles aren’t gay. they are opportunists – they prey on whomever they have access to.
“I really don’t take issue with adults doing adult stuff, i.e. having gay relations, but raising a kid in an environment that predisposes him to consider it to be perfectly acceptable isolates him from the reality that our society, as a whole, does not embrace that as being perfectly acceptable.”
So we should only raise kids to accept what society deems as acceptable??? – It was perfectly acceptable to hate black people once upon a time too. Imagine how life would be today if people didn’t raise their kids to think differently then how society tells them they should think and behave.
raising a kid in an environment that predisposes him to consider it to be perfectly acceptable isolates him from the reality that our society, as a whole, does not embrace that as being perfectly acceptable.
Caballeroso, by your own account, you are not a religious person… In American Society, that is deemed by large “unacceptable” or at the very least “alternative”… doesn’t mean you won’t keep believing so… Should we refrain you from having/adopting kids because you have “alternative” views on society?
@Sula, Gem, Deviant, & Keisha, your points are well received and are not lost on me. Again, my only issue with gay adoption is the fear that the child may be lead to believe that the behavior is socially acceptable. Chances are that the environment in which they dwell will be a safe and accepting one. When the child ventures beyond that, he may not realize that speaking of the union without a negative bias won’t necessarily be well received, but then again, exposure educates so this would make it a limited occurance.
@Gem: Please note that my sentiment is not anti-gay, but rather is moreso, “anti-sheltered kid lifestyle.”
@Keisha: Ultimately, I am not against gay adoption. I am for the welfare of the child. I don’t believe their situation would result in a gay kid, as I’ve seen evidence to the contrary.
@Deviant: I’m not saying we should raise kids to accept what society deems as unacceptable, but rather they should be raised to understand what society deems unacceptable so that he won’t go into the world armed with naivety.
@Sula: We should not refrain me from having or adopting kids due to my “alternative” views on society, but we should be cautious…as with anyone else for that matter. While my views in particular have departed from those of the majority, my morality is based in what I’ve learned from being raised in an environment that was inline with the majority. I don’t believe that the kid growing up in a gay household will be under any increased moral threat, I would just hate for him to go forward with the false impression that the lifestyle is universally accepted…we know that it isn’t. Similarly, any kid of mine would be raised with my biblically based moral views, but if he came to know of my true personal beliefs, he would also come to know that most do not accept my views. I’m simply advocating education.
Again, while I am not quick to embrace it, I recognize the merits and the inherent adversities that will be coupled with simply being black. My concern was simply that the child not go forth thinking the rest of the world must be like his parents.
You’d have a point…..if a great deal of homosexual people weren’t raised by their hetrosexual parents. So, if being homosexual “predisposes you to being gay,” then I’d say flip that and apply and your logic gets a big fat FAIL. Every.time!
Mo: Please understand that I did not suggest that being raised by homosexual parents would make the kid gay. I agree with you that that logic would be a big fat FAIL. Anyone who believes that logic is an idiot. My concern was that the child wouldn’t be raised with the understanding that beyond their household, society is not accepting of the lifestyle he has been exposed to daily…it’s is not a commonplace arrangement in society at-large.
Hey, PJ!! Welcome back, buddy.
I agree with your sentiment. I don’t believe a white person can adequately raise a black child in America. I believe the parent can love the kid, and provide for the child, but a white parent can not prepare a black child for what he will face as a black adult in America.
As for SB, I don’t know what’s the big deal. This adoption was in the works well before she won the Oscar and she found out JJ was stepping out on her. Personally, I am happy to see her adopt a black American baby instead of running over to Africa to adopt a child. There are so many of our children in the system, and we are not adopting them. My sister is thinking about adopting, and we checked the NC system. Most of the kids in the system are black, and there are many instances of entire families being in the system. I wish more people would adopt American children. They are deserving of a good American home just as much, if not more so than a child in an African orphanage. I believe our American children should come first.
I think this issue just gives certain black people a chance to stand on their preverbial soap box, and pontificate about the “white savior” theme in Hollywood. Well, a lot of children need saving in Nawlins’, Haiti, Raleigh, NC, etc. We need to stop being reactive to what other people do in our community, and start being active our damn selves. And be happy that some people are actually interested in helping when so many of us aren’t even concerned at all.
“but a white parent can not prepare a black child for what he will face as a black adult in America”
What would it take to prepare a black child for what he will face as a black adult in America? A brief history of racism?
History is not going to prepare anyone for racism–
Is there a guide on “how to prepare children for racism?” I mean seriously. . . . some people are racist- some will always be racist- white men still make more money than everyone else— so now what? I wasn’t prepared for “Get off my bus and get out of my neighborhood” . . . but hey– everyday I just remember Jesus and smile and move forward- sounds trivial. . . but I would die from stress if I didn’t.
What would it take to prepare a black child for what he will face as a black adult in America? A brief history of racism?
I know it’s not meant to be funny but it is.
I would also like to know. How does one get prepared to be a black adult in America? I haven’t received that formation (being raised outside of America et all) but I think I live a pretty ok life as a black adult in America… Does that mean I was lucky? Or could it be that *gasp* my parents instilled UNIVERSAL values that allowed me to live and somewhat thrive wherever?
my ONLY fear for any minority child raised by some one with a lifelong history of white privilege is that their culture/heritage/ethnic ties are ignored and/or not celebrated. and lets be real, this can happen in minority homes as well (assimilation is a helluva drug). but i dont spend many nights worrying about whether or not EVERY child in america has access to such things. i do spend many nights, however, worrying about children without homes. so having a home wins out over whether or not theyre being raised with the proper cultural connectivity.
America is truly a country full off f@cked up people (even myself), we are so quick to judge others even when they are doing something better for another person, white or black Sandra Bullock is putting herself second to aide a child who had no real options until she came along, now how many of us can say that we do that for someone else on a daily basis even for something minimal?
She is probably going through the biggest heart break of her life with her husband, but instead of focusing on her she is trying to focus the last amount of positive energy she has, on a child that is not even from her own womb, to give him a chance.
Personally, I applaud her not because she adopted a BLACK baby, but because she decided that adoption – American adoption at that – was her option, there are millions of American children in foster care that will grow up (because they are not raised) without the love, support of a parent, let alone two and will most likely grow up to have angst in their hearts and turn out to be not so perfect adults.
American adoption is a very complicated process and no matter how much money you have or how stable you are, you are put through the ringer to be able to provide a home for a child that needs it.
So yes I hip hip hooray her for her efforts in helping THIS child, just because she is a celebrity doesn’t mean she has to help the whole world, but as long as she does right by the child she has chosen for her, she gets a BRAVO from me.
As far as racially, I understand where Panama is coming from being mixed myself, I saw how difficult it was for my mom (who is white Colombian) to try to raise me specially in occasions were I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere since I didn’t look like my mom or dad (a true mix of both). Sandra may just have to surround herself with good black role models that can be there for her son to explain these things to him as he grows up.
She is probably going through the biggest heart break of her life with her husband, but instead of focusing on her she is trying to focus the last amount of positive energy she has, on a child that is not even from her own womb, to give him a chance.
im glad you pointed this out!!! not to mention she’s likely played some kind of motherly role to Jesse’s kids, also not of her womb.
I hate when things become trendy. They usually become trendy because the media takes them and slings them around and makes stories out of nothing.
So, Sandra Bullock adopted a baby. Congratulations to her. So, he happens to be Black. That’s good.
The media takes everything and creates a firestorm, and makes it seem as though it’s “trendy” to go adopt Black children… well, my guess is that these celebrities are just doing what they feel in their heart, and the media has to do things like create stories about the “controversy” of it all.
I don’t think it’s controversial. I’m happy that another child is out of the system. Am I happy that he’s the same color as me? Of course. Would I be happy if he wasn’t the same color as me? Of course.
There are waiting lists for white babies, while black babies wait in foster care to never be adopted. Bullock and others who adopt black children are simply addressing a real need. To be suspicious is to be ridiculous…
*co-sign*
What is this so-called “black experience” today, anway? What does it take to have a “black experience” – a certain type of food, neighborhood, style of dress, manner of speech? Whatever it is, I doubt it can be taught. Therefore, this black child being raised by a white mother is not missing out on anything.
I’m black, born in Jamaica and raised in NY. When I speak with my jewish, italian and spanish friends – we all have the same experiences – overbearing parenting, religious services, bad breakups, our ethnic histories are all lawded with similar oppresive regimes. I have more in common with them than a black kid raised in a upper-class suburb, with both black parents, doing rich people things.
The “black experience” referenced in many of today’s posts, no longer exists, at least not in the fashion that we’d like to believe. It can be reminicsed upon through history books (that any race can read and identify with), but it longer exists. Even black elders laugh at the gripes of today’s black youths.
The boy had no prospects and now the world will be his oyster – good for him.
I kind of agree with you here about the Blackness. I think the black experience is AN experience, that comes in numerous flavors. We have some overlap but not everyones black experience is the same. therefore, being able to teach it to someone? You can’t. This cultural training seems to be more for the peace of mind for others (parents, nosy busybodies who think kids need cultural mentors), rather than the children.
Ummm not to change the subject but uhra, i’m having probroms finding where to go to upload a picture…*sigh* can someone help a sista out please?
Oops! I meant *Problems
go to gravatar.com. sign up. upload your picture there. whatever email address you use to comment here, put it on your account then come back and comment as usual.
@Liz Thank u very much!
This issue is so much bigger than just being a “black” thing.
Children all over the world are hungry, sick, homeless, sexually exploited …
To be honest they are basically broken in so many ways I can’t even name.
So who cares about the race of the adoptive parents.
If a white person wants to adopt a black child, more power to them!
Why in the world should a black child remain in the system because there are no black men/women/families willing to step up and adopt?
SMH
Children all over the world are hungry, sick, homeless, sexually exploited … To be honest they are basically broken in so many ways I can’t even name.
the sexual exploitation piece is REALLY underdiscussed!!!! next to health/health-care, child welfare is my biggest issue that i plan to attack through my career and person interests. the lack of child advocacy in this great country of ours is what ppl should be in an UPROAR about!!
cracking up at the kid’s expression. Lil kid looks like he doesn’t give a sh*t. little dude is not impressed. LOL
One issue I’m thinking about is, I’m slightly curious how in-depth the adoption home-study was since they apparently either didn’t uncover or didn’t care about James’ Neo-Nazi leanings. Hopefully Sandra will be able to keep that awful nonsense away from this adorable baby.
co-sign this. 4 years of the adoption process and nobody saw the Neo-Nazi para. or any of the other signs that the hubby might be a racist *sshat? The adoption process is supposed to turn up things like that and that makes me a bit suspicious about the entire thing. How in depth was the background check if you missed that tidbit?
But overall, I am happy for the baby and Mrs. Bullock, because she is attempting to give a child a loving home. Just keep JJ away from him bc we have enough self hating kneegros as is. *cough* Michael Steele *cough*
felt compelled to de-lurk to share this pic with the vsb fam: http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2010/04/SANDRA-BULLOCK-PEOPLE-COVER-01.jpg
mi dead!!!
I will marry her and help raise the child. She is fine. This brotha doesnt mind.
LOLOL.
See we have the strong black male figure covered!
Seriously though, I think I would have only been mad if a black couple had adopted a white baby.
Again. . . a great post—- and NO, not because I am white— I was adopted. It is the most unselfish thing a parent can do- to say “I cannot care for my child so let me try and give them a better life” My brother and I were both 3 days old when we were adopted and had two loving parents for a time. My Dad still took off and I have not heard from him in over 12 years. I have NO resentment in regards to being adopted, I don’t “wonder where I came from” etc—
Maybe it is because I am in public health and I strive to be there for a lot of youth in the District (no I am not self-righteous, I just seem to keep collecting kids lol) but I see situations that will horrify me for the rest of my life (now don’t get your panties in a bunch– this happens everywhere with all kids black, white, etc) and I just wish that more people could focus on- “what is the most positive place for a child?”
Adoption laws need to be changed. It is very hard and very expensive to adopt children in the US- but I hope to be able to do that one day. It is interesting how many black folks constantly say to me “oh well your Mom or your brother is not your blood . . . ” First time I heard that was in DC— it made me SOOOOOooooooo over-the-top angry. SO WHAT?? You call your cousin Joe your brother who you grew up with your brother. My family is my family.
Raise kids- raise them in safe, loving environments, teach them where they came from- I mean I am the program Soledad missed- “Being white living in Black America” soooo if we want to get into the culture- done- and done. I am living it and loving it- most of the time (minus when people play me for a fool : )
This whole controversy just proves that black people still just don’t trust white people, period. In one generation a large section of white american culture has gone from “hang that nigger” to “save the whales” and we just don’t believe them as a whole. While I think the act in and of itself is great, anyone with that much exposure is going to be a lightning rod for discussion on race, especially when it involves a child. And hopefully, she is smart enough to realize that she CANNOT prepare a black boy to be a black man in america.
Well first of all, its looking like Sandr is going to be a single parent… and i don’t think a single woman can teach a man how to be a man, never the less a black man… but instead of her preparinghim to be a black man, i think the focus should be more on her trying her best to raise a GOOD MAN
off topic: Has anyone heard the new Flying Lotus CD? If you have what do you think about it?
@Humble_One
I have. Although I can hear the beauty in most of the tracks; it is a bit chaotic if you’re not in the mood for abstractionism. Some heavy basslines would have been nice. I do like the track Zodiac Sh*t though.
@CNotes
“Some heavy basslines would have been nice. I do like the track Zodiac Sh*t though.”
Does it has more of a “techno” sound to it? I mean more techno than he usually does?
@Humble_One
Yes, it definitely has that feel on a lot of songs….but even most techno music has a steady baseline. Most of the songs on this album don’t. I would probably classify it more of an abstract jazz/electronic sound. I’m not quite sold on it just yet.
Sidenote: I just ordered the DVD Timeless – A Suite for Ma Dukes (an orchestra performance covering some of J Dilla’s work). My brother let me watch his before mine arrives. Whew!!! Literally took my breath away.
Sandra Bullock waited 4 yrs for this, i dont think this is a case of self -promotion or better yet an attempt to improve whatever image..she was the highest grossing movie start of 2008, her 3 movies brought in an estimated $540 million…, if she really wanted a ”black” baby like some misguided folks within the community claim all she had to do was jump on a privated and head to whatever African country she wanted but instead she chose the heavily bureucratic journey that adoption is in the United states and supposedly she made it clear to the authorities that she didnt want any consideration to made in terms of gender,and background when her name gets to the top of the list
In defense of this woman, i want to know why some black folks feel so embarassed every time a non-black person adopts a baby..historical reasons?social reasons? or simply plain embarassement to see someone else do what some of us are unwillingly to do? just questions
I think it is a such blessing for children who need good homes to be adopted by people (of any race) who will love and support them. (It actually warms my heart). The process, the risks, the costs, etc……..omg! Other than sacrificing your life, it is probably the most selfless act a person can display.
sorry for the typos
QueenT May 5, 2010 at 2:22 am
Peyso, why do you think more celebrity black folks aren’t stepping up and adopting lil black babies/kids? Somebody has to step up and make a home for these kids…I wish I would hear of Oprah, Denzel and other celebs of note, adopting..but, we aren’t doing it…….
““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`
Exactly what i`ve been thinking..i mean today more than ever you have thousands of wealthy african americans in this country…african-american are insanely more wealthy than say latinos who happen to be the biggest minority in this country…but how many of these super-wealthy or better not-so-wealthy adopt these black kids? quite frankly they have no obligation but at the very least if a white person steps in..guess what? let him step in
Oh sure….she’ll adopt a cute black baby…..but what about the ugly ones? I will not be satisfied til white folks is adopting ugly black babies…… the prejudice against ugly people continues people, let’s do our part
negroes are legal (‘cept in AZ)
i got tired of reading the rest of the comments so i’ll just add this one tid bit…
MAY IS FOSTER CARE MONTH!! for more info go to https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/events/kids-at-heart.html
that said. the foster-care system is F*CKED!! why anyone’s solution to abortion is “give the kid up for adoption” is beyond me. the kid likely won’t get adopted and will end up in a sh*tty foster care system where ppl get paid to take care of the children and thus give them NO incentive to adopt. its sad really. i just hope us VSBs and VSSs consider adoption in our futures or at least encourage those who can (financially, emotionally, etc) to ADOPT–esp minority children since they are the children who are often times overlooked.
peace & blessings
I GURANTEE ALL OF YOU, THAT ANGELINA JOLIE, AND BRAD PITTS CHILDREN KNOW MORE ABOUT THEIR CULTURE, THEN CHILDREN FROM AND RAISED IN THE CULTURES THAT THEY ARE FROM!!!! AND I AM SURE THAT SANDRA BULLOCK WILL FOLLOW.
The Pitt-Jolie clan has gone so far as to purchase homes and developed schools/organizations in the names of their children in their native countries, so that they can have ties, culture, and a place to return, if they ever decide to go back to the countries that they are from. I think that besides the “hair care” of an african american child (which they are stoopid rich, so they wont be combing their own hair anyway…) they will probably be more eqipped with the knowledge of their cultures, because they are aware of the need to educate them. This is not a topic that can not be avoided, especially considering the obvious differance in ethnicity… I mean, its not like either Sandra or her baby will not notice that one is white, and one is black…. Talking about the PINK ELEPHANT standing in the middle of the room. Just because you are black… doesn’t mean that you are aware of your history. I think that White people adopting black children is a WONDERFUL thing. When their children, the babies that they have loved and nutured, come home with issues of discrimination and profiling, they will have an oppertunity to become enlightened about the trials and tribulations a person of color has to go through. Because to be honest…. Most white people don’t believe it. They don’t believe that we get pulled over for no reason, but for being black.. they have never experienced it before. They don’t know what it feels like, and they can not relate, but they CAN EXPERIENCE IT THROUGH THEIR CHILDREN. All of us here on VSB who have been blessed with children know, when they hurt, we hurt. When they suffer, we suffer…
You make an EXCELLENT point… I know that racism and senseless discrimination is alive in our country through my friends and witnessing it firsthand, but many white people don’t understand the seriousness of it until they have seen it themselves. With high profile white folks adopting black babies, which, unfortunately will most likely experience this, they will be made more aware of it themselves… and can use this to educate more white people- since they are in the spotlight and will have the firsthand “experience”….
I hope Im making sense. Im feeling nice off of percocet (got my wisdom teeth pulled)…
Let this kid grow up rich, spoiled and entitled. Don’t nobody else want him. He’d have most likely sat indefinetly in foster care or an orphanage until he was 18. Michael Jackson paid ugly white skanks to have babies with random white men to PRETEND he had magical white kids!!!
I hope he grows up to be the 2nd black president. I’ll bet my life savings he grows up better adjusted than Halle’s kid. I’ve been black a long time and no one had to teach me how.
im disturbed by your comment.
anyways let me opine, look i dont know what its like to be black in america, this can mean a multitude of things, but from what i can gather, it seems racism is apart of american cullture and this child perhaps will not escape that, will sandra be able to identify with his struggle as a black man in america, probably not, but her job as a parent is to be there for her child when life knocks him down, motivate him and instill in him that he is a human being and should never fall prey to the mentality that another race is superior or that he isn’t good enough. im glad this little guy has an oppurtunity to be loved by someone who seems to love him. sandra seems well equipped to raise him. but life has its challenges and hopefully with the love and care sandra will hopefully provide he will be able to deal with it. fight or flight.
btw i still dont know what this so called ‘black experience is’ * pontificates…*
Questions & Comments:
-Did she snatch this child from the arms of his birth mother or an AA family that wanted to adopt him? No? Then I have no problem with it at all!
-We ought to know better than to think you can decide on Tuesday you want to adopt a baby and have a baby on Thursday in these United States.
-Black couple/white child: WHAT IF???? A BC knows White parent/s who cannot/do not want to care for their child. WP ask BC to take child. Should BC NOT adopt/care for child because child is not Black?
-Do gay parents have sex in front of their children, other people?
-I was born in America of Black Americans and I still have to figure out how to deal with the BS that sometimes is “Being Black in America.” Did my parents do a bad job of raising me?
-Zahara’s hair is cute and just fine.
-Little Louis’ expression = “How you like me now?”
A thought provoking post today(as usual).
If your post was food, it would be my beloved fried plantains… that’s how much I heart it. Lol!
fried plantains!!! YESSSS…..
mi LOVE plantain!!!! mmmmm….
For all the talk about how not enough black people and/or black celebrities are adopting black children, I have a hunch that…
the overwhelming majority of black children who are adopted are adopted by black people.
the percentage of black celebrities who have adopted black children is greater than the percentage of white celebrities who have adopted black children
the overwhelming majority of white celebrities who adopt do not adopt black children
I wonder if (famous) white people get more press when they adopt black children
I am an adopted person. I am bi-racial. While the race of the parents is a factor in the child’s identity, it isn’t (or shouldn’t be) the determinant in who (or what) qualifies a person to adopt. My parents adopted five children and fostered over 50. We are of all different races. If I was to give you a run down of the before (adoption/fostering) versus after (adoption/fostering), you would be amazed! We are all better people. It’s all about love. Really! That’s what it comes down to. Love.
What I hate about the Sandra Bullock story is that it seriously doubts the story of humanity. I would like to believe that maybe, just maybe, her role in the Blind Side may have even prompted her to be more aware of an existence that she was “blind” to. And what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with being inspired by our work. After all, isn’t that what the American Dream is all about? I just pray for her and wish she and her whole family the best. God’s speed!
I have to admit that there are times that I am suspicious of some White folks’ intentions in adopting Black children, whether they are from Africa, Haiti or here. But I definitely don’t have that feeling with Sandra Bullock. I guess I can compare it to a sista having an issue with White women who date Black men, but for some reason, her giving certain White women a pass… “Oh she’s cool, she can date my cousin Tay.” Well IMO, Sandra Bullock, in a unanimous Supreme Court decision, definitely gets the ‘adopt a Black child’ pass. Maybe that’s because I stereotype all White people from the south into two categories, with Sandra being in the latter: racist or cool as hell… ***shrugs***
@That’s why they’ve hired Latinos already.
you told it as it is
I’m late but I kept reading but never saw where anyone once mentioned the cost od adoption. outside of HollyWood, how many blacks actually have the resources available to them that whites do to actually carry out an adoption? Now back in the 90′s adoption if I’m recalling correctly, were in the upwards of 20k or more. I can only imagine what it is today. Just one more angle to look at.