Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Pop Culture, Race & Politics

Why Brown Skinned Women Stay Losing In The Oppression Olympics

Only a brown skinned woman could get away with this. Let a light OR dark skinned woman try this sh*t on a plane. SECURITY!

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to colorism in our community, it’s always the lightskinneded vs. darkskint? Even in the landmark ridiculous dance number in Spike Lee’s School Daze, it was a light versus dark thing. Somehow in all the hubbub, the brown skinned women never really get much shine.

And you know what? They don’t deserve any. Brown skinned women stay winning but always wanna ask why for come they don’t get any room at the table when people start complaining about skintoned ninjas on the Other Side Blocc. Nobody’s tossing greneades but they always trying to double dutch their way into the oppression olympics trying to steal the medals from the light brites and dark skint ninjas out there struggling in the struggle.

Oh, and I’d like to go on record her as saying this is relegated to women because frankly, when was the last time you really heard a man seriously lamenting the treatment he got because of his skin tone? Sure light skinned brothers aren’t in style anymore, but it seems like we never got that memo. Men just do men sh*t and rarely worry about it. Sure we joke and I’ve been called you ole light skinned motherf*cker plenty of times by my boys…but that’s usually right before somebody needs a homeloan or needs something from a white person. In Black Man America, we all benefit from being men first.

In fact, the only Black man that really cared was the cop in Boyz N Tha Hood who really needed a hug.  He (allegedly) hated black pepper AND the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck. That’s self-hate.

Do you remember back in the day when you met somebody in a chatroom and you hit them with the A/S/L? Yeah, you remember. If those simple stats were to your liking then you skidadled on over to a private IM convo and started describing yourself to the other person. Men, we’re simple: we go light, brown, or dark. Women on the other hand…well, it’s a little different. And this is where brown skinned women stay winning and effectively losing at the oppression olympics.

Man: Hey girl, describe yourself.

Girl: I’m caramel complected.

Man: Damn girl. That sounds edible.

Brown skinned women are the only women who can get away with describing themselves in all kinds of sexxy food sounding good stuffs. I’ve heard nougat, pecan, caramel, (call me) almond, the color of love, milk chocolate, hot cocoa, sexual chocolate, etc. How the hell do you, brown skinned women, expect to get into the argument about who has it worse when everything you do to describe yourself sounds like something I want?

“I’m fudgy.” Ninja, I like fudge.

What’s a light skint chick? Soy milk? Ewwww. Ole lactaid heffa.


“Hey daddy, I look like black licorice! Or oil change.”

“I hate black licorice. Do you have any almond joy looking friends?”

One of our favorite go to insults is skin color. You can’t do that with a caramel chick!

“Ole light skint b*tch! She think she white.”

“Ole blue black b*tch! Pay your light bills ninja.”

Now, our brown skinned friend…

“Ole caramel, you sweet sexxy thaaaaaaang you, with nice syruppy legs walking away like ole … come back baby…you ain’t nothin’ with out me. The Temps without David Ruffin’ ain’t nothin’ but a bunch of fake ass Temps! With your sexual chocolate self. Make me want to bake a cake girl…aw girl. That’s why your glasses look like two wire hangers for elephant titties.”

Or something like that.

Simple yes, but it goes even further. Think about all of the songs with skin color attached to the title. It’s either Black woman, which is all encompassing, or “Brown Skin” or “Brown Skinned Lady” or “Doo Doo Brown”. I wish a ninja would make a song called, “Light Skinned Lady”. He’d have his ENTIRE Black card revoked by Blackness Anonymous and get drop squaded. But it goes the other extreme too. We are so pained by colorism, that if a man were to make a song strictly about dark skinned woman he’d either be assumed to be satirizing or trying to assuage some guilt he has. Or worse, just being patronizing. But noooooooooooooooo, brown skinned bombshells (<—–look at that, I did it subconsciously) get all the lyrical love. Sure, all black women can be “brown skinned ladies” too, but when you hear songs like that you don’t think Paula Patton. It drove her to a white man’s arms. With blue eyes. Devil.

That’s cool though. The honeybadger don’t care. The honeybadger don’t give a sh*t.

One of my favorite sites is Those Girls Are Wild, and Shannon (the lightskinnededed one) has a video where she talks about this very thing in more depth…calling on darkies and lighties to unite against the common enemy she calls medium toned women. Ridiculously hilarious. Peep that.

So good folks of the VSB, you feel me? Do brown skinned beauties have any place in the oppression olympics? Extremists…stand up.

Flashlight Mobb.


Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Naima

    I’m medium toned and what I get is arguments about my skin color. Girl, you are like a tan light person or a bleached dark person. Someone called me terra cotta. Someone said that was an insult.

    Honestly, I could care less man. All i know is when I went back to East Africa I was the lightest of them all. My dad is so dark, 73 years in the sun does that to a nigga.

  • small axe

    Buju Banton “luv de brownin'” . The color mafia got him back 20 years later.

  • Bengemin Grehe

    At the same time they may not get any shine in the oppression olympics, I do notice they try to stick their toes in there occassionally when appropriate. I mean, what about the brothers who like the extremes?

    If dude likes ’em light, the brown complected could claim she one with the darker variety. And if dudke likes ’em dark (ahem ahem), the brown complected would could claim she light…or lighter. Either way, she clearly ain dark enough, which is grounds for a medal at the oppression olympics.

  • B. Brown

    “Fudgy” and “oil change”…just wow.

    Lil Jon, Kels, and Mario made a song extolling the virtues (if such a phrase can apply in this instance) of darker sisters on Jon’s ‘Crunk Rock’ album.

    Honey badgers are the business.

    Sisters in the middle (where they at – in the middle) seem to be straight, as they don’t have to worry about shade coming from either direction. Then again, I don’t know too many brothers who say they want a brown-skinned woman. Dudes I know usually say light or dark, although they don’t always date that way.

    I don’t know, I just don’t see it as a big thing. I’m sure the good folks will educate me if I’m missing something.

  • TheAnti-Cool

    Finally, something I’m “winning” at. Yay me.

  • Malik

    Andi was the first person I thought of when I read the title. And then the Black Star song.

  • Lina

    People need to post pics if they try to pick a color faction

  • Cheekie

    Um, caramel cuties run this sh*t.

    Anyhow, the TRUE conundrum about being in the middle is that no one let’s you just be in the middle. Some folks STILL put you on either side. I’m most often called “light-skin” (well, especially no now since I gots me a Cancun tan. Get like moi.), when Lawd knows I’m not a yella that is high.

    “Do you remember back in the day when you met somebody in a chatroom and you hit them with the A/S/L? Yeah, you remember.”

    Wait, so “L” don’t stand for “light-skint?” Oh. But yeah, of course I remember that age/sex/location swag. It was in dem days that I got my moniker. History. #PayHomage

    And YES, Shannon Boodram is all kinds of hilarious. And gorgeous, to be honest. Even without the caramel.

  • Queen Elizabeth

    this seems to be not a real problem, like that other post on here about big dick problems. world’s smallest violin. the only thing i can even think of is being too dark to be light and too light to be dark. i’m in the middle myself, and i’m pretty glad i don’t get dragged into those light/dark conversations.

  • theeclectic

    i’m winning??? missed the memo on that one…lol

    at the same time we always gotta hear about the sexual chocolate or the redbone chick..

    every rapper/r&b singer either goes for the redbone or the grace jones black woman

    ain’t nobody down with the brown…except the neo-soul singers….they love us to a patchouli scented death

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