Have you ever noticed that when it comes to colorism in our community, it’s always the lightskinneded vs. darkskint? Even in the landmark ridiculous dance number in Spike Lee’s School Daze, it was a light versus dark thing. Somehow in all the hubbub, the brown skinned women never really get much shine.
And you know what? They don’t deserve any. Brown skinned women stay winning but always wanna ask why for come they don’t get any room at the table when people start complaining about skintoned ninjas on the Other Side Blocc. Nobody’s tossing greneades but they always trying to double dutch their way into the oppression olympics trying to steal the medals from the light brites and dark skint ninjas out there struggling in the struggle.
Oh, and I’d like to go on record her as saying this is relegated to women because frankly, when was the last time you really heard a man seriously lamenting the treatment he got because of his skin tone? Sure light skinned brothers aren’t in style anymore, but it seems like we never got that memo. Men just do men sh*t and rarely worry about it. Sure we joke and I’ve been called you ole light skinned motherf*cker plenty of times by my boys…but that’s usually right before somebody needs a homeloan or needs something from a white person. In Black Man America, we all benefit from being men first.
In fact, the only Black man that really cared was the cop in Boyz N Tha Hood who really needed a hug. He (allegedly) hated black pepper AND the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck. That’s self-hate.
Do you remember back in the day when you met somebody in a chatroom and you hit them with the A/S/L? Yeah, you remember. If those simple stats were to your liking then you skidadled on over to a private IM convo and started describing yourself to the other person. Men, we’re simple: we go light, brown, or dark. Women on the other hand…well, it’s a little different. And this is where brown skinned women stay winning and effectively losing at the oppression olympics.
Man: Hey girl, describe yourself.
Girl: I’m caramel complected.
Man: Damn girl. That sounds edible.
Brown skinned women are the only women who can get away with describing themselves in all kinds of sexxy food sounding good stuffs. I’ve heard nougat, pecan, caramel, (call me) almond, the color of love, milk chocolate, hot cocoa, sexual chocolate, etc. How the hell do you, brown skinned women, expect to get into the argument about who has it worse when everything you do to describe yourself sounds like something I want?
“I’m fudgy.” Ninja, I like fudge.
What’s a light skint chick? Soy milk? Ewwww. Ole lactaid heffa.
“Hey daddy, I look like black licorice! Or oil change.”
“I hate black licorice. Do you have any almond joy looking friends?”
One of our favorite go to insults is skin color. You can’t do that with a caramel chick!
“Ole light skint b*tch! She think she white.”
“Ole blue black b*tch! Pay your light bills ninja.”
Now, our brown skinned friend…
“Ole caramel, you sweet sexxy thaaaaaaang you, with nice syruppy legs walking away like ole … come back baby…you ain’t nothin’ with out me. The Temps without David Ruffin’ ain’t nothin’ but a bunch of fake ass Temps! With your sexual chocolate self. Make me want to bake a cake girl…aw girl. That’s why your glasses look like two wire hangers for elephant titties.”
Or something like that.
Simple yes, but it goes even further. Think about all of the songs with skin color attached to the title. It’s either Black woman, which is all encompassing, or “Brown Skin” or “Brown Skinned Lady” or “Doo Doo Brown”. I wish a ninja would make a song called, “Light Skinned Lady”. He’d have his ENTIRE Black card revoked by Blackness Anonymous and get drop squaded. But it goes the other extreme too. We are so pained by colorism, that if a man were to make a song strictly about dark skinned woman he’d either be assumed to be satirizing or trying to assuage some guilt he has. Or worse, just being patronizing. But noooooooooooooooo, brown skinned bombshells (<—–look at that, I did it subconsciously) get all the lyrical love. Sure, all black women can be “brown skinned ladies” too, but when you hear songs like that you don’t think Paula Patton. It drove her to a white man’s arms. With blue eyes. Devil.
That’s cool though. The honeybadger don’t care. The honeybadger don’t give a sh*t.
One of my favorite sites is Those Girls Are Wild, and Shannon (the lightskinnededed one) has a video where she talks about this very thing in more depth…calling on darkies and lighties to unite against the common enemy she calls medium toned women. Ridiculously hilarious. Peep that.
So good folks of the VSB, you feel me? Do brown skinned beauties have any place in the oppression olympics? Extremists…stand up.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3