Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

Why Boys And Girls Need Different Dating Advice

"Thanks Dad for the advice and for dressing us alike in this picture!"

In the comments of yesterday’s post, numerous people brought up the fact that the advice I’d give to a teenage son had a bit of a different feel than the advice I’d give to a teenager daughter. Paraphrasing, while the daughter-centric advice was “protective, thoughtful, and caring,” the son-centric advice came off as “harsh, snarky, asshole-ly, and cynical.”

I responded to a few of those comments to explain why the son’s advice and the daughter’s advice may have seemed contradictory, but I felt like I needed to say a bit more. Today is “a bit more.”

Both lists were coming from the same place — a father’s want for his children to have the best, happiest, and most fulfilling lives possible. But, since males and females are (obviously) very different — different motivations, different fears, different expectations — the advice did need to be different. For instance, the very first thing I told the son — he should try to wait until he’s in his early 30’s before getting married and starting a family — is, for various biological and sociological realities, absolutely awful advice to give to a young woman. This isn’t to say that young women can’t be successful if they followed that same path, but they’d have a much less likely chance of that happening than a guy would.

Anyway, realizing these differences, the advice I gave my daughter was a bit more protective and concerned with minimizing risk. Why? Certain “mistakes” such as having a baby at a young age or staying in a bad relationship far too long — things that aren’t “mistakes” per se, but will be interpreted as such — are generally more damaging for a woman than they would be for a man.

Is this fair? No. But, the fact remains that young women just aren’t able to get away with many of the things that young men are able to, and as a father it would be irresponsible not to recognize that reality. In my opinion, teaching a daughter how to spot and avoid bad situations is the best dating/relationship/man advice any father can give her.

I want both “team daughter” and “team son” to win the game. But, while “team son” needs to play to win, “team daughter” would be best served playing not to lose. The fact that women have certain “advantages” over men (and by “certain advantages over men”  means “pretty much everything men do is specifically structured around getting access to them“) means that “team daughter” starts the game with a 30 point lead, and “not doing anything stupid or reckless to give up that lead” gives them the best chance at winning.

Team son, on the other hand, will need a deep playbook, a reliable substitution pattern, an advanced scouting report, an offensive and defensive coordinator, and some favorable refs to have a shot at winning. Basically, while team daughter can be the 1996 Chicago Bulls — a team that, since they had the two best players in the league (as well as the best coach, best rebounder, best defense, etc), basically won games by just showing up at the gym — team son needs to be the 2008 Boston Celtics — a bunch of grimy, shit-talking, cheating, crafty, and resilient motherf*ckers to be competitive

Fair? No. But again, this is a reality, and (IMO) parents should prepare their children for the world that is, not the world they wished existed.

Last thing. I want to make clear that this was the advice I’d give to my children, not what I think every parent should tell their sons and daughters. It’s not meant to be universal, easily palatable, or politically correct, and it’s based on what I — as a man who’s had very specific experiences in his three decades on Earth so far — think would be the best way for them to navigate the dating and relationship world.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) 

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Santa Monica

    I don’t understand why you would have to explain yourself on this topic, people always confuse the terms different and unequal when it comes to men and women. Just because they’re different doesn’t mean they can’t be equals, and to ignore those differences in the genders to ‘equalize’ the playing field is doing both teams an injustice.

    • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Fariku

      Spot on, I agree with you. The fact that there are differences does not mean that the two cannot be equal. Embracing the differences and succeeding in spite of them is what makes us human and unique.The fact that you feel you have to explain yourself is a symptom of this over-PC’d environment we have going on where someone is afraid to call something what it is.

      Btw, I think you gave great advice Champ. Hope I remember some of them when I have me some teenage kids.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      +1

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      That’s about right, but the reality is that a lot of people will not fully understand that.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        *cough* *cough* such as idealistic feminists *cough* *cough*

        • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

          You said it, not me…LOL!!!

    • Meisarebel

      I endorse this.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bmorebmw Tentpole

      +1

      • Justmetheguy

        +5 The PC police got ninjas paranoid out here

        • http://moacn.wordpress.com Sir Fariku

          lol, we gotta fight the PC power, yea boiiiii. (An attempt at Public Enemy reference)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I don’t understand why you would have to explain yourself on this topic, people always confuse the terms different and unequal when it comes to men and women.”

      lol, perhaps you should scroll down a bit to see why further explanation was needed

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      I totally agree, Santa Monica! Different does NOT mean unequal. Thank you for saying that because I thought I was losing my mind thinking that way.

  • http://twitter.com/kjnetic King Jordan

    “team son needs to be the 2008 Boston Celtics — a bunch of grimy, shit-talking, cheating, crafty, and resilient motherf*ckers to be competitive”

    another person has seen the light concerning the boston centrum silver Cs….

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      Dope-a$$, airtight metaphor… but F*CK the Celtics.

      • http://twitter.com/kjnetic King Jordan

        oh of course….f**k the Cs….bunch of cheaters lol

    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

      CELTICS are the bomb diggiry!!!! Stop the madness.

      • Cali

        Thank you!! Get off my C’s!!!!

        • Sigma_Since 93

          The C’s suck!!!

          • demondog06

            GO pistons……………

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      another person has seen the light concerning the boston centrum silver Cs….

      lol, I’m not a huge fan of them either, but i respect the hell out of them. those dudes just won’t be beat. they’re too prideful for that. you have to basically kill them for them to lose

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        A true champ is gracious, win or lose. The Celtics get no love from me!

  • NYCgyal

    I agree with the first post in that I didn’t think that this really needed to be explained further. This explanation is great, though.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      thanks and sh*t

  • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

    Your descriptions of the different playbooks needed for “Team Son” and “Team Daughter” and the 96 Bulls and 08 Celtics comparisons… Reasonable Doubt-grade metaphors. Well done sir.

    • nillalatte

      I hate when men start using sports analogies. I told a friend once, “Stop speaking sports geek to me!” Some women are not well versed in play book rules. ;)

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        Cmon, props where they’re due.

      • IET

        I think that basically the champ is arguing that he would raise his kids like Haymitch coached the boy and the girl in the Hunger Games. Since the boy, Peeta wasn’t as tight as the girl, he had to work hard in very different ways, while the girl, Katniss, was the most likely to win form the beginning.

        • Mena

          So upset that I understood EXACTLY what you just said. I finished the series last night.

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          ROTFLMAO

          I love how you changed it from sports to Hunger Games

        • Kema

          See! Now this I understand… *light bulb*

        • Selah

          YOOOO. this was perfect. lmao. Hunger Analogy FTW!

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          #teamhungergamesbooks

        • SweetSass

          Still the analogy doesn’t prove anything…

          Katniss was the prospective lead in the Games not because she was a girl but because she was a talented archer and a rugged survivalist who was motivated by protecting her sister.

          • Peyso

            You might be bad at getting analogies….

      • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

        Would it be better if we talked like Dennis Miller- you know, make numerous obscure historical references?

      • http://www.twitter.com/bmorebmw Tentpole

        That’s why we use them. Some topic are gender specific

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        I hate when men start using sports analogies. I told a friend once, “Stop speaking sports geek to me!” Some women are not well versed in play book rules

        lol, i think i gave enough context so that the sports analogy still could be understood by someone who didnt follow basketball

        • http://www.writerzblockblog.wordpress.com chriscogmta

          damn the context clues!! you alls next book should be “VSB metaphors, analogies, and Sh*t!”

        • Britico Chick

          I only slightly get the thread of what you’re saying with your sports analogy because I’m in the UK and I’m not a sports fan. LOL. But Santa Monica was on point; there is a lot of confusion today regarding the differences and equality. But Champ, I concur with you 100%, that we need to raise our children in the reality of the world they are in today and not the fantasy that we want to experience. To some extent, that might seem like a defeatist argument because if we don’t conceive of any change – how can the world change? I have to admit I struggle with that with my younger sibling; he’s 14, but he can’t step into the world being in my cuckoo land. I think you always have to tell the kids that there can be a different reality and they shoudl work todwards it and in the meantime this is what they are dealing with. Get on your knees kid and PRAY.

      • MJoy

        The 1996 Bulls ruined my childhood. Can’t stand to hear about them!

        • Justmetheguy

          @ MJoy- You must be a Knicks fan?

          • MJoy

            Til I die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            • StrawberryPoptarts

              +1

              And I still til this day can’t get with the heat or pacers because of their ’90s rivalry w/ the knicks.

              • MJoy

                Don’t even get me started on Reggie Miller and his kissin the floor azz. I’m getting upset.

                • Breezy

                  @MJoy…Girl kissing the floor…I could take but that ninjas grill!!!! Come on man all that money and you en gat no daggone dental plan?!?!?

    • Chanelle

      Yes I liked these analogies as well. I like it when champ includes some sports talk.

  • nillalatte

    Stop it. It was interesting to break down the advice you were giving to the daughter v. son. I give basically the same advice to my kids regardless of gender (note: my son is not old enough to date, yet claims to have had 3 girlfriends already) regarding the paths in life that I’d like to see them take and things I’d like to see them accomplish before getting themselves in a relationship. Don’t know that will change with my son’s age, but I can certainly see the differences. Not that I like it, but I can see it.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bmorebmw Tentpole

      This is one of those situations where you are getting the answers way in advance of the questions. So put this in a safe place so that you can have it when you need it and you will need it.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        + 1

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Use the it to youe advantage while you can. My oldest son’s hygene game has come up 1,000 fold since he’s been smitten by some girl. It didn’t matter that me and his mother told him about brushing his hair, teeth, etc. All I’ve got to say now is Ashley does not want to be around a dude who looks like he ate the whole package of parkay.

      • Kema

        So what you’re sayin is that there is hope? I have 10 & 12 yr old boys. Cant wait til girls influence their hygiene.

        • MJoy

          hahahahaha. right!

        • demondog06

          10 and 12 huh……does this mean that you’ve found their booger wall yet?

          • Kema

            Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • nillalatte

        OMG… now there’s a gem of information! The parkay thing is SO real. We ‘fight’ constantly over this issue. The hygiene thing is no joke. I keep telling him it’s all about his health and follow up with “no girl wants a dude that smells bad or doesn’t keep up the personal appearances.” Hasn’t seemed to phase him, yet. So, yeah, still ambivalent with the whole girls and dating situation with him, but looking forward the stepping up his game in the hygiene department!

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    IMO, your break down of separate-but-equal advice made it worse. It really comes off as you thinking less of your daughter and her ability to make good decisions

    • http://twitter.come/InAnimateAlpha Animate

      I don’t see how you get that. Part of her making smart decisions is taught or given through advice, which is what was done in the respective post.

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      I don’t know if anyone has pointed this out yet but OF COURSE the advice would be different from Father(man) to Son(man or soon to be) than it would be from Father(man) to Daughter(woman or soon to be). Its because one talk is male to male and the other talk is male to female. Of course a father would give his daughter advice from a man’s perspective which will not be 100% understanding of her reality. He can only give her advice on her life as a woman as far as he understands what women really REALLY have to deal with in REAL life. And no matter what, no man really understands this fully. Add to this that he is her father, he is gonna tell her what HE wants for her, which may not necessarily be what she wants EVEN IF ITS IN HER BEST INTEREST. Its the same way mother to son. I know, being raised by a single mom. This is one of the many reasons why KIDS NEED BOTH PARENTS.

      • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

        I still disagree. The advice he gave his ‘daughter’ was completely half-azzed. Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean hhe should dump everything on mom. Forgive me for invoking Mr. Twenty Buttons,* but more ‘this is what a man thinks/does in a relationship’ is useful advice to daughter and son, not just the son. Vice versa goes for mama

        *Steve Harvey

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “I still disagree. The advice he gave his ‘daughter’ was completely half-azzed.”

          how so?

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        I agree

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          that children need guidance from both a woman and a man on relationships & life.

          • nillalatte

            I agree with this too. I also don’t think the advice has to come directly from one’s father. A grandfather, uncle, trusted close family friend can all be good substitutes.

      • Kema

        @Jay… This definitely makes sense. Just like yesterday most of the women advice to their sons were more about how they think men should act rather than what would make their son the happiest. So naturally a man’s advice to a daughter would be the similar. Children need both pieces for the advice to be complete.

        • Justmetheguy

          Nods head @ Kema and AWE. When’s the last time all relevant information on an important topic came strictly from one source?

          • A Woman’s Eyes

            Last time? Before VSB came into the picture :)

        • GirlSixx

          Umm.. Basically!!… This is another prime example of why a two parent household or at least a strong active co-parenting team is extremely important.

          • southernsweetness

            +1

      • nillalatte

        Jay, I hear you man and I agree with the essence of what you are conveying. In my analysis of the ‘advice’ however, looking much deeper, an astute observer can see why society has issues with gender specific roles.

        Champs ‘advice’ to his daughter was way more superficial than this advice to his son. He didn’t advocate for her to wait to marry or create a family, encourage higher education, independence, etc. He didn’t actually offer her much encouragement at all to be a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman. Again, maybe because Champ doesn’t have children yet and it’s hard to imagine the *best* advice to give beyond what, he, as a childless man can give. I know my father & grandfather were always encouraging my sis and I how to take care of and do for ourselves. The flip side of that is some men don’t understand independent women.

        I picked up on the differences by his second post, but after taking a closer look at the ‘advice’ I realized that the ‘advice’ he would give to his imaginary daughter was…. well… pretty shitty advice IMO.

        I try not to give ‘advice’ to my kids at all. In fact, I do options. That is, when there is a problem we brainstorm and explore options. I don’t recommend they follow any particular option. That’s where their own cognitive ability must be exercised and choices made. Once they make that choice they are responsible for living with it.

        • Justmetheguy

          ” I try not to give ‘advice’ to my kids at all. In fact, I do options. That is, when there is a problem we brainstorm and explore options. I don’t recommend they follow any particular option. That’s where their own cognitive ability must be exercised and choices made. Once they make that choice they are responsible for living with it.”

          Golden statement. I’m in 100 % agreeance with that one.

          I know how to pick em don’t I? ;)

    • Allidaughter

      COSIGN

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      i think people need to understand and respect how messages are interpreted.
      champ cannot control how people view and receive his message.
      neither party (the writer or the reader) has a responsibility to agree with each other.

      by sheer default, being a woman and reading his advice to HIS future daughter is going to be looked at differently than the fellas will look at it. but it doesn’t make anyone that views it as inadequate and perpetuating the same issues/stereotypes VSB fights today as automatically wrong.

      there is room on VSB (or so i used to think) for a discussion and everyone able to share their point of view (gender, geographical, religious, socio-economic status).

      finally i will say that, i planned on writing such letters myself and have found it ‘easier’ to write the letter to my future unborn son than my future unborn daughter. i want my son to grow up to be the man i wish i could find. i want my daughter to grow to be better than me. there is much to tell both, but the bottom line of it all is love. love your sons and your daughters and they should turn out ok.

      fin.

      • Ms.TnB

        Long time lurker, first time responding.

        cosign on your post. I don’t know why some are getting their panties all in a bunch about someone else’s advice to their kid.

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          its ALL opinion.
          author and commenters alike.

  • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

    First off, I have to note that 12 year old Cheekie really loved your ’96 Bulls analogy. ;)

    Anyhow.

    “I want both “team daughter” and “team son” to win the game. But, while “team son” needs to play to win, “team daughter” would be best served playing not to lose.”

    I thought this was well put when you said it in the comments yesterday and I still think this today. Because it was… pretty well put. Makes all the sense in the world.

    And I’m with you in that we have to raise our kids for how the world is. I liken it to racial issues in this society, though. Using Trayvon and the hoodie thing as an example, I’d totally teach my son that he’d likely to be profiled wearing his hoodie but will make sure NOT to leave out the important parts: how, when you break it down, the hoodie ain’t really the trigger, etc.

    Same with the unfairness concerning women and men. The double standards. Sure we have to let our kids know that it’s the way it is, but simply leaving at that promotes complacency and absolutely no change. If everyone was just “okay” with the way things were in the past because it was reality, we certainly wouldn’t be living in the world we do today.

    So, sure… I’ll teach my kids the way things are and prepare em for it, but I’ll also tell em how and why it shouldn’t be … so that they’ll know their worth.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bmorebmw Tentpole

      Well said

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “And I’m with you in that we have to raise our kids for how the world is. I liken it to racial issues in this society, though. Using Trayvon and the hoodie thing as an example, I’d totally teach my son that he’d likely to be profiled wearing his hoodie but will make sure NOT to leave out the important parts: how, when you break it down, the hoodie ain’t really the trigger, etc.

      Same with the unfairness concerning women and men. The double standards. Sure we have to let our kids know that it’s the way it is, but simply leaving at that promotes complacency and absolutely no change. If everyone was just “okay” with the way things were in the past because it was reality, we certainly wouldn’t be living in the world we do today.

      So, sure… I’ll teach my kids the way things are and prepare em for it, but I’ll also tell em how and why it shouldn’t be … so that they’ll know their worth.”

      good points

    • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      A smart parent would take conventional wisdom about the way things are and examine it for myths. Then teach their son or daughter the real truth. If they really want them to get ahead.

      For example. Getting a girl pregnant can be just as devastating to a young man’s future as getting pregnant is for a young woman. If you want your son to win at life, he needs to be taught to guard his seed, not spread it around.

      He also should be taught that although it seems like assholes win, its really confidence that wins.

      Assholes can fake confidence and only the foolish are fooled. So if you want to catch a foolish woman, and possibly make a foolish woman your baby mama, be an asshole.

      • Justmetheguy

        I actually agree with most of what WC said. The only part I’d change is that @ssholes don’t solely attract foolish women. They attract bored women, horny women, young immature/naive women, stubborn women who know they’re @ssholes but focus on other aspects their personality, smart women with good hearts that think they can change the man etc; It definitely is the confidence, backbone (perceived as masculinity) and unpredictability that’s attractive though, not the @ssholishness. (screw you it’s a word now)

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          yes!

        • SweetSass

          If a woman thinks she can change a man, she ain’t that smart…

          • Justmetheguy

            @ Sweetsass- Well d*mn lol, at least you’re hard on women too I guess. I can respect someone that at least keeps it consistent..

          • Britico Chick

            LOL. My dear, it takes some of us a long time and a lot of heartache to actually come to realise that truth. But, on a serious note, women are socialised to be nurturers and carers…I think then that it follows that it’s unsurprising that so many of us think we can change the man.

        • MJoy

          @TMTG

          These descriptions are almost too spot on… you know too much! But in the end, all of these women usually end up being foolish. If you’re putting up with assholeishness (the usual result of unpredictable, illusive, ‘confidence’) for ANY reason… that’s foolish.

          • Justmetheguy

            @MJoy- Haha, well as long as a woman called it “foolish” and I just nodded my head in approval I guess it’s cool. If the PC police started interogating me I’d call it “misguided by emotions and hormones” but if not, yeah foolish would be the more appropriate word lol

      • GirlSixx

        *nodsheadinagreement*

        Sounds too much like right.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        Wild Cougar made some excellent points!

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Stop saying that! I feel some kinda way about too many people agreeing with me. I’m losing my edge…..

          *kicks rocks*

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      #teamcheekie

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    Wow, so you are just going to talk shit like Boston Celtics, ain’t shit?! Oh mi gosh! You are so fanning the flames with this one. Before, anyone starts to argue with me about the Fakers and the Bullies and what not, my allegiance to BC is purely Aubrey Graham soft and shallow. With that much said, so long as these four players are on the team, KG, PIERCE, RAY ALLEN and my basketball baby daddy RONDO——————>I’m their number one groupie with absolutely no shame!!! :)

    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

      See there… We would have never worked out anyway. =P

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        K

        • nillalatte

          Wow. That was too quick AM. What did Jay do anyway? I must have missed it. Or did all those hormones you had flying around leave unexpectedly? Or did you get served? ;)

          • nillalatte

            lmao.. never mind… I should read further down before asking questions. smdh

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              @ nillalatte

              The hormones are still there, just more like waves in the ocean now. They subsided and rage depending on tide levels. Some days are good, others I fell like just leaving and running away to my village.

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                nillalatte

                See how this love has my grammar jacked up?! Mr.Man done juju’d my azz!

    • Justmetheguy

      Yeah, 08 Celtics were even more legendary than the 04 Pistons. Anybody that beats the Lakers gets my approval, but Rondo, Allen AND K.G?! How could anybody with good sense hate that combo? The only adjective he got wrong was cheating though. They earned that. Resilient isn’t a strong enough word. Unfortunately the Lake show are taking the title this year though :/

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        and Paul Pierce!!! You cannot forget him. He is part and parcel of what makes Celtics tick! Do you know Ray almost got traded?! Yikes.

        • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

          Paul Pierce IS the Celtics. Played for the C’s his whole career. Without Pierce they would NEVER have achieved half of what they did. I got love for Pierce, Allen, Garnett, and Rondo as players… hell even Doc Rivers. I was glad to see those great players get a ring before they retired but I DESPISE the Boston Celtics as an organization.

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            what did the organization do?

            • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

              LOL. The organization put together a team of perennial all-stars that beat my Lakers in the Finals. THATS what the organization did.

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                I was waiting for an organizational behavior/culture breakdown as to how they are poor managers, and then you give me a simpleton answer of putting together an all star team?! Good lawwwd! You are as kray kray as they come! Those locks had me fooled.

                • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                  Sorry. I’m just a passionate sports fan. I know nothing of the front-office machinations of the Celtics of Beantown. Real sports fans hate organizations that “buy” championships or have “stacked” teams. Its why people love the hate the Heat, the Cowboys, the Yankees, and yes even my beloved Lakers. But the Lakers drafted Kobe, then traded for Shaq and made various other moves to build a solid team. The C’s, like the Heat, got 3 all-stars then won their first year. Of course they weren’t a$$holes about it like the Heat but the situations were similar.

                  P.S. Sorry that me and my evil locks “fooled” you. I try to be cool with you but according to you I’m “rude”, a “simpleton”(lol), and ahem…”kray-kray” **shrug**…

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    @ Jay,

                    calm down!!!

                    The rude part——>in jest
                    The kray kray part——–>in jest
                    The simpleton part———->in jest

                    You are still my heart, I have no reason to bring you down or otherwise. I do not engage in such foolishness.

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKPQhom5Auo
                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GceFwYv8sZk

                    Listen to the lyrics, CAREFULLY. From me, to you! :)

                    • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

                      Jest saying. Your posts were getting a little jest-heavy.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      @ Jay,

                      Duly noted!————->promise to even get more jestier!

          • Justmetheguy

            Oh yeah, Pierce was the backbone of that team and the best overall scorer, BUT I’m not the biggest fan of him. I hate slow players that throw their weight around, even if it is effective. I actually agree with you about the organization though, I hated them before they snagged one of my favorite players (K.G.) and before I discovered that Rondo was also one of my favorite players. I would be a Laker fan if it wasn’t for Kobe and his transcendent lameness smh

      • https://twitter.com/#!/mackaroto Jay

        I’m a Lakers fan and I get dirty looks for saying that they even have a shot this year… You think they are gonna walk away with rings this year??? OKC??? Miami?? Chicago?? Surely you’ve seen these teams play. OKC is my pick.

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          OKC?!

          I have been out of the loop since Celtics lost to the Fakers. But hold up. I was just looking at OKC roaster and I saw Derek Fisher’s name on there?! What, how, when and why is he on that team?! or am I losing my mind?!

          • Sigma_Since 93

            My dude got traded before the trade deadline. I was sad to see him go but he became a defensive liability. Go Lake Show!

            • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

              @ Sigma_Since 93

              He was a defensive liability?! All along I thought he was an asset to ya’ll….Oh well,whatever the case be, I’m all about that green!!! BOSTON CELTICS, baby! Thank you Jesus for having saved Ray Allen from a VERY foolish trade?!

              • Sigma_Since 93

                @ African Mami

                You can’t get to the moments where his clutch shooting comes in if your down by 20. I wouldn’t want Ray Allen’s tired behind anyway. He and Derrick are two sides of the same coin.

                • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                  oh so now we are going to clown a brotha for being old and his footwork/handiwork be slippin not like used to be before, but yet has been a formidable force to reckon with ….mmmmmkay!

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    I don’t like no Ray Allen, me and the UConn kid ain’t never been friends – LeVert pun intended. Being born an upstate NYer, I hate all things New England.

                    • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                      even Dunkin Donuts?! Shame on you.

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              GO LAKERS!!!

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                @ AWE

                *looks again, faints, revives to just make sure, she just fakers-oh shit* back to DYING

                CELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTICS!!!

                • A Woman’s Eyes

                  Lakers fan since I was in diapers! hah!

                  • Corey

                    I always knew I liked you!!

        • Justmetheguy

          U get dirty looks for saying they have a shot?! From who?! They’re the favorite in my eyes. Do you see how they’re doggin teams without Kobe? Andrew Bynum is d*mn near unguardable by himself, but when he works the high low with another 7 footer who can shoot, pass, and rebound well above average, it’s pretty much unfair (another reason I hate the Lakers, always stacked, Jordan NEVER had THAT much help, especially on the frontline). Seriously though, Bynum IS the best center in the league. It pains me to say it, because I like Dwight Howard and wanna see him be great, but Bynum is on another level right now, and nobody can match that height, let alone guard both of those guys AND Kobe at the same time during a playoff series. MAYBE the Thunder have a shot to beat em, but trust me LA is the favorite, NOBODY (minus maybe the Grizzlies) matches up with them…

          • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

            @Jmtg
            wait,Celtics do not have hope?! We have risen from adversity from time to time no?

            • Justmetheguy

              @ African Mami- If Jeff Green hadn’t gotten sick (or if Perkins didn’t get traded) I’d agree with you, but they just don’t have the offensive talent or athleticism/youth to play the type of defense they’ll need against teams like MIA, LAL, and OKC unfortunately…

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                Feel like somebody died. Wow! Very saddening. I’m still rooting for them nonetheless!!!

          • Corey

            @Justme
            Smart man. You can’t teach tall. And you can’t replace tall AND skilled. OKC & MIA have the same problem. They’re both teams that live and die by the jumper and can’t compete in the paint. OKC has a bigger problem because Westbrook is subject to start taking all kinds of ill advised shots at the worst possible time. Memphis is a bigger threat than OKC and I promise you they are the team that NOBODY wants to see any time soon.

            • nillalatte

              Where you been hiding Corey? We got a woman in here that just LOVES locks. You might give Jay a run for her money… so to speak. LOL You should put up your pic with the locks just for kicks. :D

              • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                @ nillalatte

                STOP IT!

                Mr. Man is the only dude with locks on VSB that will ever shake my heart the way he did!

                • Corey

                  @nilla
                  I been slaving for the man! I kinda got what I was looking for. Back to the south for me!!

                  @Mami
                  Miss, I would advise you to be careful. I would hate to have to drop these 2+ footers on you while you were unsuspecting! You have to be properly prepared for something like that.

                  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

                    @ Corey,

                    2 footers being —->dreadlocks :)?!, NBA?! I am sooooo lost…clueless!

                  • nillalatte

                    “I kinda got what I was looking for. Back to the south for me!!”

                    Sweet! It’s nice to go back if you want to. I’ve been back a lot, just don’t want to live there anymore tho. I’m glad you got what you were wanting. :)

            • Justmetheguy

              Nods head at Corey’s entire statement. If you can dominate the paint, you can dominate the outcome of a game/series. I agree about Memphis, I hope they pull it off. Nobody wants to see them. Especially because nobody’s talking about em AGAIN. I’d love to see Memphis vs. Chicago (or MIA or even NYC doesn’t really matter. I like most of the teams in the East. I’m an NBA fan, not a fan of one particular team).

              • http://afrikanmam.blogspot. African Mami

                I’m an NBA fan, not a fan of one particular team).

                SHADE right thurr! I am a fan of NBA, just with certified groupie status with the Celtics.

      • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

        @ JMTG

        Apologies in advance for using your space for marital conflicts/near divorce to makeups/who knows what will happen next
        I can only imagine———-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII

      • demondog06

        “Yeah, 08 Celtics were even more legendary than the 04 Pistons. Anybody that beats the Lakers gets my approval, but Rondo, Allen AND K.G?!”

        Wait! wait! hold up! you sir have offended me! my pistons didn’t have the talent of boston, the star power or the egos, and and damn near swept a far superior laker team than the laker team the boston smelltics beat. the pistons were just a blue collar team that at the beginning of the 04 season phil jackson called “overachievers”
        no one expected us to have the run that we did.

        whereas the smeltics even with those aging superstars, were kinda expected to win it all.

        Go Pistons…..!

        • Justmetheguy

          Demondog06- I liked that team a lot man. I guess I should’ve said “as legendary” cause both slayed the dragon, but the way Boston came back in LA from down like 24!?! That was just beyond epic. Words like “classic” come to mind more. Detroit just played…perfect really. Great defense, great offense, great rebounding, amazing chemistry. They were just so well rounded and deep with above average to very good talent that they outlasted anybody that stepped on the court with them (when they came to play that is). I really liked both teams. Both were gritty and blue collar. Both one with defense being their calling card. I’m a basketball purist, I can appreciate (and actually prefer) that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Wow, so you are just going to talk shit like Boston Celtics, ain’t shit?”

      lol, who’s talking bad about the c’s? i’m giving them a ton of props

    • MJoy

      RONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (nuff said)

  • http://mrweethomas.wordpress.com weethomas

    Pure laziness. I say everyone just go read my blog for today. Start at the beginning though, I’m guilty of laziness in the more recent stuff.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lol, damn. tell me how you really feel

    • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

      no.

      • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.com black yoda

        Damn, why did I click on that? Nothing against Wee Thomas, but when I click on a page and see a shirtless man…….. :o( At least have a warning page or something….lol

        • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

          loooollllllll!!! @ by shirtless men are the bizz, no?!

          • http://www.blackyodaprime.blogspot.com black yoda

            Damn, that first emoticon was supposed to be a frown, not a smiley face…lol That’s a fail.

  • Iceprincess

    Yea champ we didnt need the explanation. Nobody on here is accussing u of being sexist or whatever about some imaginary kids lmao. This topic for the 3rd day in a row is redundant. Peace.

    • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com/ Perverted Alchemist

      Scroll down below…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “This topic for the 3rd day in a row is redundant. Peace.”

      redundant topics are what occasionally happen when it’s 11:15pm and you need to write something that’s supposed to post at midnight

      • Iceprincess

        Lol. I feel you & i apreciate your honesty!