***the vsb pittsburgh happy hour has been pushed back to may 1st. the time and location remains the same. again, if interested, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, or rsvp through our facebook fan page.***
as you’ve probably noticed, verysmartbrothas.com, a relationship-centric website, hasn’t had any relationship-centric content in over a week. we’re the sh*t, though, so thats ok. plus, its a recession.
with this in mind, we’ve turned to dame from thismayconcernyou.com to help us out a bit today. enjoy, and have a great holiday weekend and sh*t.
“I learned a long time ago never to ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.” ~ Darius Lovehall departing some salient advice in the film “Love Jones.”
To People Who Constantly Ask “Why?”:
I am a self-professed movie snob. But I do like my fair share of horrible flicks including Jamie Foxx’s “Breaking All The Rules.” I’m a fan of the film because Gabrielle Union stars in it. of its niche: applying employee termination rules to break-up technique.
When you think it through, the idea works … and its application translates to my reasoning for never questioning “Why?” when someone breaks up with you, won’t go on Date No. 3 or won’t give you his/her number.
When you’re fired from an at-will job, your employer is not required to explain why he/she is canceling your benefits, depleting your bank account, ostensibly ruining your life while kicking you toward the end of the mile-long unemployment line. giving you the pink slip. It could be because you smell like PigPen, dress like you belong on a pole, sound like Donald Duck or remind your supervisor of The Predator — all reasons you might not get the digits. Or it could be obvious early on that you perform as efficiently as a 1992 Buick LeSabre with 196,421 miles runs — a reason you don’t get to Date No. 3. But your supervisor isn’t required to tell you why.
Often, you already know the answer. But you still want the firer to humor you with his/her easy words. So you allow the infamous query to roll off your tongue several times before security puts you out with your box of belongings.
It happens at the end of relationships, too. The break-upee queries the break-uper for understanding — for possible, if not probable reconciliation (think: John Legend’s “Again”) or for closure (You give yourself closure). But the break-uper isn’t likely to make you privy to the real reasoning. Nod your head if you have been on either side of this fence. *nods head*
The break-uper might give you the tried and true “It’s not me you, it’s you me” or he/she could list some of the petty things that don’t matter just to throw you off (i.e., you have ugly feet, you’re five pounds overweight and remind him of Roseanne Barr [when you talk, too] or you ate seven pieces of fried chicken [not wings] in one meal. you talk while you eat).
You are smart enough to know none of aforementioned reasons (the non-stricken ones) is the cause behind the relationship split. There’s a great chance that he sees you as Jennifer Aniston. But he’s found an Angelina Jolie with whom he wants to start an Octomom-like babyfarm. Still, you keep querying “Why?” with little success and plenty of frustration. Just stop and ask yourself this: Does The “WHY?” even matter?
You should come up with a quick “No, it doesn’t,” and move on with your life. You wanna know why she/he broke up with you? Because you keep asking the damn question “why?” he/she doesn’t want you.
That may seem tough. But test the theory out. You might flip the script and leave your antagonist befuddled. But more important, you won’t want to grab a knife and stab his ass, pick up a brick and bust his cars windows or choke her until she can no longer sing “Take A Bow” do anything vindictive or spiteful when he/she feeds you sour nothings. Remember, you probably know why this person is cutting you from or not allowing you into his/her life.
I know what you’re thinking: Why does he think this asinine idea might even work? Because I said so, that’s why.
Seriously, why subject yourself to someone’s merry-go-round games? Haven’t you heard: wise people don’t argue with fools or chimps … “cause people from a distance can’t tell who’s who”. (Jigga)
Dame (definitely not Dash)
P.S. A white person clearly wrote “Breaking All The Rules” because Gabrielle Union looks nothing like Halle Berry.