Guest Blogger

why ask why?

***the vsb pittsburgh happy hour has been pushed back to may 1st. the time and location remains the same. again, if interested, email us at contact@verysmartbrothas.com, or rsvp through our facebook fan page.***

as you’ve probably noticed, verysmartbrothas.com, a relationship-centric website, hasn’t had any relationship-centric content in over a week. we’re the sh*t, though, so thats ok. plus, its a recession.

with this in mind, we’ve turned to dame from thismayconcernyou.com to help us out a bit today. enjoy, and have a great holiday weekend and sh*t.

—the champ

“I learned a long time ago never to ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.” ~ Darius Lovehall departing some salient advice in the film “Love Jones.”

To People Who Constantly Ask “Why?”:

I am a self-professed movie snob. But I do like my fair share of horrible flicks including Jamie Foxx’s “Breaking All The Rules.” I’m a fan of the film because Gabrielle Union stars in it. of its niche: applying employee termination rules to break-up technique.

When you think it through, the idea works … and its application translates to my reasoning for never questioning “Why?” when someone breaks up with you, won’t go on Date No. 3 or won’t give you his/her number.

When you’re fired from an at-will job, your employer is not required to explain why he/she is canceling your benefits, depleting your bank account, ostensibly ruining your life while kicking you toward the end of the mile-long unemployment line. giving you the pink slip. It could be because you smell like PigPen, dress like you belong on a pole, sound like Donald Duck or remind your supervisor of The Predator — all reasons you might not get the digits. Or it could be obvious early on that you perform as efficiently as a 1992 Buick LeSabre with 196,421 miles runs — a reason you don’t get to Date No. 3. But your supervisor isn’t required to tell you why.

Often, you already know the answer. But you still want the firer to humor you with his/her easy words. So you allow the infamous query to roll off your tongue several times before security puts you out with your box of belongings.

It happens at the end of relationships, too. The break-upee queries the break-uper for understanding — for possible, if not probable reconciliation (think: John Legend’s “Again”) or for closure (You give yourself closure). But the break-uper isn’t likely to make you privy to the real reasoning. Nod your head if you have been on either side of this fence. *nods head*

The break-uper might give you the tried and true “It’s not me you, it’s you me” or he/she could list some of the petty things that don’t matter just to throw you off (i.e., you have ugly feet, you’re five pounds overweight and remind him of Roseanne Barr [when you talk, too] or you ate seven pieces of fried chicken [not wings] in one meal. you talk while you eat).

You are smart enough to know none of aforementioned reasons (the non-stricken ones) is the cause behind the relationship split. There’s a great chance that he sees you as Jennifer Aniston. But he’s found an Angelina Jolie with whom he wants to start an Octomom-like babyfarm. Still, you keep querying “Why?” with little success and plenty of frustration. Just stop and ask yourself this: Does The “WHY?” even matter?

You should come up with a quick “No, it doesn’t,” and move on with your life. You wanna know why she/he broke up with you? Because you keep asking the damn question “why?” he/she doesn’t want you.

That may seem tough. But test the theory out. You might flip the script and leave your antagonist befuddled. But more important, you won’t want to grab a knife and stab his ass, pick up a brick and bust his cars windows or choke her until she can no longer sing “Take A Bow” do anything vindictive or spiteful when he/she feeds you sour nothings. Remember, you probably know why this person is cutting you from or not allowing you into his/her life.

I know what you’re thinking: Why does he think this asinine idea might even work? Because I said so, that’s why.

Seriously, why subject yourself to someone’s merry-go-round games? Haven’t you heard: wise people don’t argue with fools or chimps … “cause people from a distance can’t tell who’s who”. (Jigga)

Sincerely yours,

Dame (definitely not Dash)

P.S. A white person clearly wrote “Breaking All The Rules” because Gabrielle Union looks nothing like Halle Berry.

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't.

Previously

the spectrum

  • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

    Welcome Dame!!

    And you are right…people need to stop asking “why” and move on with their lives b/c you won’t be satisfied with any answer the firee gives you. Besides, that guy/lady who fires you can just kick rocks….

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @N.I.A. fabuloussince82….,

      wait, isnt the firee supposed to the one asking why in this scenario?

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

        @shatani,

        yeah, I think so…I just noticed that. Oh well, it’s past my bedtime…just change ee to er in your head when you read it…. :)

      • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

        @shatani,

        yeah, I think so…I just noticed that. Oh well, it’s past my bedtime…just change ee to er in your head when you read it…. :)

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @shatani,

        No. The fired person asks why. The employee doesn’t care. They just want you to leave the premises (i.e., in the relationship: get off the phone or out of my face with that Eric Benet “Let’s Stay Together” BS …)

        • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

          @shatani,

          never mind my first comment. I see what you’re saying.

        • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

          @shatani,

          never mind my first comment. I see what you’re saying.

      • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

        @shatani,

        No. The fired person asks why. The employee doesn’t care. They just want you to leave the premises (i.e., in the relationship: get off the phone or out of my face with that Eric Benet “Let’s Stay Together” BS …)

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      @N.I.A. fabuloussince82….,

      wait, isnt the firee supposed to the one asking why in this scenario?

  • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

    Welcome Dame!!

    And you are right…people need to stop asking “why” and move on with their lives b/c you won’t be satisfied with any answer the firee gives you. Besides, that guy/lady who fires you can just kick rocks….

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    Point taken, Dame. I have some “Why” questions.

    *Why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?

    *Why/how is Amy Winehouse still alive, even after taking a drug cocktail that included horse tranquilizers?

    *Why am I addicted to Ray J’s show, even though I know its killing my brain cells not so softly?

    *Why is rice so delicious?

    *Why you gotta act like that?

    *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?

    *Why do New Yorkers wear Timbs all year round, even in the summer time? (Jeebs be some moth balls and cross ventilation for feets)

    Can I get closure on THESE queries?

    • Gem-nasty

      Why am I addicted to Ray J’s show, even though I know its killing my brain cells not so softly?

      when you find the answer, puhhhhhlease let me know *hangs head in shame from being victim to FtLoRJ as well*

      • nia

        @Gem-nasty,

        I haven’t been watching the whole time, but I’ve watched long enough to know…

        SHE SMASHED THE HOMIE!

        • PrincesMo

          @nia, LOL @ she smashed the homies!!!! i’ve been saying it all week!

          • Gem-nasty

            LMBO girrrrl me too!!!

            and what tickles me so is how his friends were all talkin was soooooo cali ohmahgoodness. i miss it so *tear*

          • Gem-nasty

            LMBO girrrrl me too!!!

            and what tickles me so is how his friends were all talkin was soooooo cali ohmahgoodness. i miss it so *tear*

        • PrincesMo

          @nia, LOL @ she smashed the homies!!!! i’ve been saying it all week!

      • nia

        @Gem-nasty,

        I haven’t been watching the whole time, but I’ve watched long enough to know…

        SHE SMASHED THE HOMIE!

    • Gem-nasty

      Why am I addicted to Ray J’s show, even though I know its killing my brain cells not so softly?

      when you find the answer, puhhhhhlease let me know *hangs head in shame from being victim to FtLoRJ as well*

    • overit

      @Luvvie,

      LOL @ your Whys. My dad got me a book when I was younger called “Tell Me Why” answering most of my “why does the moon follow us at night?” type questions. Clearly, those answers led to more questions.

      Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?

      Why they stop lettin ninjas get degrees in jail?

      Why does crack have to hit (whitney) so hard?

      Why does my co-worker sweat like the office be some stage lights?

      Why am I awake?

      Why does Ecostyler protein stain leaving hair gel still exist?

      Why did they give everyone, including those with “ethnic” hair those little black combs on picture day? Boar Bristle wasn’t in the school budget?

      • Gem-nasty

        NOT “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?” lmbo

      • Gem-nasty

        NOT “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?” lmbo

      • http://www.beinmisterwright.blogspot.com Saule Wright

        @overit,

        I wanna play too…based on a job interview I had today….lets go….

        Why is Cobra insurance the same as the plan at the job?

        Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?

        Why would I take a job that has anything to do with commission in THIS economy?

        Why are you hiring but you don’t know when and for what location?

        Why are you REALLY trying to offer me a job with no benefits….no really NO benefits?

        Why did I waste my gas and time going to the interview?

        Why am I debating if I need to take it or not?

        • V Renee

          @Saule Wright,

          “Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?”

          They won’t have to pay you for overtime.

        • V Renee

          @Saule Wright,

          “Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?”

          They won’t have to pay you for overtime.

        • overit

          @Saule Wright, these are some great Whys, these were my fav:

          Why is Cobra insurance the same as the plan at the job?

          Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?

          Why would I take a job that has anything to do with commission in THIS economy?

          Commission is not cool with me in the best of times or the worst of times. I need stability in my life.

        • overit

          @Saule Wright, these are some great Whys, these were my fav:

          Why is Cobra insurance the same as the plan at the job?

          Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?

          Why would I take a job that has anything to do with commission in THIS economy?

          Commission is not cool with me in the best of times or the worst of times. I need stability in my life.

      • http://www.beinmisterwright.blogspot.com Saule Wright

        @overit,

        I wanna play too…based on a job interview I had today….lets go….

        Why is Cobra insurance the same as the plan at the job?

        Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?

        Why would I take a job that has anything to do with commission in THIS economy?

        Why are you hiring but you don’t know when and for what location?

        Why are you REALLY trying to offer me a job with no benefits….no really NO benefits?

        Why did I waste my gas and time going to the interview?

        Why am I debating if I need to take it or not?

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @overit,

        You right, gurl. Someone oughta take an s-curl kit to Anthony Hamilton’s facial pubic hair

        But riddle me this…

        *Why is Yaki Inc LLC not yet a publicly traded company on the NYSE? It’d be the only stock being sold at the dollar store. Well mayb, I got my answer

        *Why is Kelly Rowland the real life Cinderella & Papa Knowles is her wicked Stepfather? In her own little corner, in her own little chair…

        *Why are mangoes so delicious?

        *Why do the people with the hottest breaths always wanna invade my personal space and lean in when talking to me? Making my eyebrows curl is NOT the way to befriend me

        *Why do fritos smell like feet and the inside of a fake leg (shoutouts to anchorman) but make such a good snack?

        *Why isn’t there a cologne out called “Essence of Failure”? All they’d have to do is bottle the scent of MC Hammer & Gary Coleman

        • Gem-nasty

          Why do the people with the hottest breaths always wanna invade my personal space and lean in when talking to me? Making my eyebrows curl is NOT the way to befriend me

          lmbo this of course brought to mind b.scott’s “i don’t want your man”– so here goes…

          “the number 1 reason why i don’t want ya man is becuz his breath gives me gas. i swear every time he speaks to me it starts bubbling up in my stomach. HIIIII BEEEE SCOOOOOOTT! i mean clearly he relaxes my curl, i have a straight bob when he’s done. that HOT A** BREATH! it’s like boom-cat, i mean like, i have a fierce posh victoria beckham bob when he’s done. eyebrows arched. face skin peeled. it’s like oooooh a git a git back!”

          • overit

            @Gem-nasty, OMG, i love you! the boom-kat! lmao, there needs to be a audio function on here so we could really do this justice, especially our part: HIIII BEEE SCOOOOOOT. i mean clearly!

            track. gettin it.

            ps) did you do that from memory? lol, if so…watch out for bbmo, she’s been hiding in bushes these days tryna catch us.

            i wish he had added ‘cataracts gone” to that, i would have DIED.

            • Gem-nasty

              NOT cataracts gone lmbo. ign’ant. straight up. might as well add “sinus pressure released” and “tooth enamel stripped”.

              and yes! audio is definitely necessary to do that whole bit justice. unfortunately, i have never been able to do that whole sequence without crackin the H up.

            • Gem-nasty

              NOT cataracts gone lmbo. ign’ant. straight up. might as well add “sinus pressure released” and “tooth enamel stripped”.

              and yes! audio is definitely necessary to do that whole bit justice. unfortunately, i have never been able to do that whole sequence without crackin the H up.

          • overit

            @Gem-nasty, OMG, i love you! the boom-kat! lmao, there needs to be a audio function on here so we could really do this justice, especially our part: HIIII BEEE SCOOOOOOT. i mean clearly!

            track. gettin it.

            ps) did you do that from memory? lol, if so…watch out for bbmo, she’s been hiding in bushes these days tryna catch us.

            i wish he had added ‘cataracts gone” to that, i would have DIED.

        • Gem-nasty

          Why do the people with the hottest breaths always wanna invade my personal space and lean in when talking to me? Making my eyebrows curl is NOT the way to befriend me

          lmbo this of course brought to mind b.scott’s “i don’t want your man”– so here goes…

          “the number 1 reason why i don’t want ya man is becuz his breath gives me gas. i swear every time he speaks to me it starts bubbling up in my stomach. HIIIII BEEEE SCOOOOOOTT! i mean clearly he relaxes my curl, i have a straight bob when he’s done. that HOT A** BREATH! it’s like boom-cat, i mean like, i have a fierce posh victoria beckham bob when he’s done. eyebrows arched. face skin peeled. it’s like oooooh a git a git back!”

        • overit

          @Luvvie,

          Who you know fresher than Hov, riddle me that.

          Why did my tonsils have to quit me? :(

          But why was the pain medicine the truth? I was sooo content with the 6 wars, recession and illiteracy.

          Why did Brit Brit and Jamie Lynn decide to add “un” to planned Parenthood?

          Why do countries dump waste in the water of (lawless) countries then cry piracy?

          I’m rambling at this point because I’m shutting down.

          To be continued…

        • overit

          @Luvvie,

          Who you know fresher than Hov, riddle me that.

          Why did my tonsils have to quit me? :(

          But why was the pain medicine the truth? I was sooo content with the 6 wars, recession and illiteracy.

          Why did Brit Brit and Jamie Lynn decide to add “un” to planned Parenthood?

          Why do countries dump waste in the water of (lawless) countries then cry piracy?

          I’m rambling at this point because I’m shutting down.

          To be continued…

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @overit,

        You right, gurl. Someone oughta take an s-curl kit to Anthony Hamilton’s facial pubic hair

        But riddle me this…

        *Why is Yaki Inc LLC not yet a publicly traded company on the NYSE? It’d be the only stock being sold at the dollar store. Well mayb, I got my answer

        *Why is Kelly Rowland the real life Cinderella & Papa Knowles is her wicked Stepfather? In her own little corner, in her own little chair…

        *Why are mangoes so delicious?

        *Why do the people with the hottest breaths always wanna invade my personal space and lean in when talking to me? Making my eyebrows curl is NOT the way to befriend me

        *Why do fritos smell like feet and the inside of a fake leg (shoutouts to anchorman) but make such a good snack?

        *Why isn’t there a cologne out called “Essence of Failure”? All they’d have to do is bottle the scent of MC Hammer & Gary Coleman

      • Madame Zenobia

        @overit,
        “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?”
        That’s HYSTERICAL!

      • Madame Zenobia

        @overit,
        “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?”
        That’s HYSTERICAL!

      • KingPine

        @overit,

        “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?”

        got dayum…..you hard as ICE

      • KingPine

        @overit,

        “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?”

        got dayum…..you hard as ICE

      • V Renee

        @overit,

        Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?

        I eQuit you.

      • V Renee

        @overit,

        Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?

        I eQuit you.

    • overit

      @Luvvie,

      LOL @ your Whys. My dad got me a book when I was younger called “Tell Me Why” answering most of my “why does the moon follow us at night?” type questions. Clearly, those answers led to more questions.

      Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?

      Why they stop lettin ninjas get degrees in jail?

      Why does crack have to hit (whitney) so hard?

      Why does my co-worker sweat like the office be some stage lights?

      Why am I awake?

      Why does Ecostyler protein stain leaving hair gel still exist?

      Why did they give everyone, including those with “ethnic” hair those little black combs on picture day? Boar Bristle wasn’t in the school budget?

    • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

      @Luvvie,

      You are killing me with the questions. This is going to turn itself into a vignette when I run this … lol … goofball.

    • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

      @Luvvie,

      You are killing me with the questions. This is going to turn itself into a vignette when I run this … lol … goofball.

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Luvvie, I love Jadakiss!

      “*Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?”

      Agreed! No one wants to see your camel boo!

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        People can wear leggings, but not with tiny shorts. Wear a shirt thats long enough to cover ur nether fist print and ssa cheek. That is all I ask

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Luvvie, Exactly. I wear them all the time. lol.. just not with a short shirt.

          (they’re so comfortable) and still cute!

        • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

          @Luvvie, Exactly. I wear them all the time. lol.. just not with a short shirt.

          (they’re so comfortable) and still cute!

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Nicki Sunshine,

        People can wear leggings, but not with tiny shorts. Wear a shirt thats long enough to cover ur nether fist print and ssa cheek. That is all I ask

    • http://www.singlesisterspeak.wordpress.com Nicki Sunshine

      @Luvvie, I love Jadakiss!

      “*Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?”

      Agreed! No one wants to see your camel boo!

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

      @Luvvie, *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit

      I hate this shyt with a passion…chicks coming to the club/bar looking like they just left their part-time street corner job…smh.

      • Peyso is no longer confused about twitter

        @N.I.A. fabuloussince82…., Why chicks think this acceptable cuz they got some shiny leggings and not the regular ones?

        • miss t-lee

          @Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,
          Shooot those shiny ones look worse than the solid colors…lol

        • miss t-lee

          @Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,
          Shooot those shiny ones look worse than the solid colors…lol

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

          @Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,

          the shiny ones call even more attention to the fact that you look ridiculous…and shiny. stop following celebrities…they can afford to look ridiculous, you cannot….

          • Gem-nasty

            LOL

          • Gem-nasty

            LOL

        • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

          @Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,

          the shiny ones call even more attention to the fact that you look ridiculous…and shiny. stop following celebrities…they can afford to look ridiculous, you cannot….

        • V Renee

          @Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,

          I still can’t figure out what material the shiny ones are. Is it leather? pleather? vinyl? plastic? acrylic? Garbage bags?

          WTF IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?

          PS – Dame – I saw on your blog that you don’t like exclamation points, so this is just for you!!

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @V Renee,

            The shiny leggings are made of a polyurethane, rayon and viscose blend.

            • V Renee

              @Luvvie,

              Ummmm did you randomly know this or did you check a tag?? Ha.

              Either way I had to goggle vicose, and an article called “Is Viscose the Way to a Greener Future? : TreeHugger” came up. Apparently people who wear shiny leggings are being green.

              (I have seen a FEW people who were actually able to look good in them)

            • V Renee

              @Luvvie,

              Ummmm did you randomly know this or did you check a tag?? Ha.

              Either way I had to goggle vicose, and an article called “Is Viscose the Way to a Greener Future? : TreeHugger” came up. Apparently people who wear shiny leggings are being green.

              (I have seen a FEW people who were actually able to look good in them)

          • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

            @V Renee,

            The shiny leggings are made of a polyurethane, rayon and viscose blend.

        • V Renee

          @Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,

          I still can’t figure out what material the shiny ones are. Is it leather? pleather? vinyl? plastic? acrylic? Garbage bags?

          WTF IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?

          PS – Dame – I saw on your blog that you don’t like exclamation points, so this is just for you!!

      • Peyso is no longer confused about twitter

        @N.I.A. fabuloussince82…., Why chicks think this acceptable cuz they got some shiny leggings and not the regular ones?

    • http://nianaturally.blogspot.com N.I.A. fabuloussince82….

      @Luvvie, *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit

      I hate this shyt with a passion…chicks coming to the club/bar looking like they just left their part-time street corner job…smh.

    • Blue Skyez

      @Luvvie,
      *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?”
      Yes! WHY???!!! would somebody please answer. Why do women do this?
      The mirage of dimples and potholes are extremely unflattering!
      Also from the ABC New yesterday: “Why does the color-blind cuddlefish have very complex color camouflage?”

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Blue Skyez,

        Not potholes! Lmao women’s thighs looking like unpaved roads & poverty. Folks need to stop for real

        • Blue Skyez

          @Luvvie,

          Please! And don’t let me get to the muffin tops and cut-off baby tees…I will have to start writing my will.

        • Blue Skyez

          @Luvvie,

          Please! And don’t let me get to the muffin tops and cut-off baby tees…I will have to start writing my will.

        • http://www.myspce.com/tanishah SxyScientst

          @Luvvie, Unpaved roads and poverty? i am DEAD…u murdert me!

        • http://www.myspce.com/tanishah SxyScientst

          @Luvvie, Unpaved roads and poverty? i am DEAD…u murdert me!

      • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

        @Blue Skyez,

        Not potholes! Lmao women’s thighs looking like unpaved roads & poverty. Folks need to stop for real

    • Blue Skyez

      @Luvvie,
      *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?”
      Yes! WHY???!!! would somebody please answer. Why do women do this?
      The mirage of dimples and potholes are extremely unflattering!
      Also from the ABC New yesterday: “Why does the color-blind cuddlefish have very complex color camouflage?”

    • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com Kindred Smile

      @Luvvie, Awww here we go…

      * Why did I see a dude on the bus yesterday with a Jheri Curl so moist that it kept reflecting the flash on my camera phone, thereby making it impossible for me to take a picture?

      *Why did En Vogue make a song entitled “Hold On” and another called “Don’t Let Go?”

      * Why can my one year old daughter do the Stanky Legg better than I can?

      * Why can’t I pronounce cereal correctly? (Me: Cereo!)

      These are the questions that keep me up at at at at at night….

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @Kindred Smile,

        “* Why did I see a dude on the bus yesterday with a Jheri Curl so moist that it kept reflecting the flash on my camera phone, thereby making it impossible for me to take a picture?”

        I don’t even know you, and I hate you for that one! LMAO!!! Why was that MY curl back in 87? *sighs*

        Viva la curl activator y plastic caps!!

      • RedBeanzNRice

        @Kindred Smile,

        “* Why did I see a dude on the bus yesterday with a Jheri Curl so moist that it kept reflecting the flash on my camera phone, thereby making it impossible for me to take a picture?”

        I don’t even know you, and I hate you for that one! LMAO!!! Why was that MY curl back in 87? *sighs*

        Viva la curl activator y plastic caps!!

    • http://www.kindredsmile.blogspot.com Kindred Smile

      @Luvvie, Awww here we go…

      * Why did I see a dude on the bus yesterday with a Jheri Curl so moist that it kept reflecting the flash on my camera phone, thereby making it impossible for me to take a picture?

      *Why did En Vogue make a song entitled “Hold On” and another called “Don’t Let Go?”

      * Why can my one year old daughter do the Stanky Legg better than I can?

      * Why can’t I pronounce cereal correctly? (Me: Cereo!)

      These are the questions that keep me up at at at at at night….

  • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

    Point taken, Dame. I have some “Why” questions.

    *Why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?

    *Why/how is Amy Winehouse still alive, even after taking a drug cocktail that included horse tranquilizers?

    *Why am I addicted to Ray J’s show, even though I know its killing my brain cells not so softly?

    *Why is rice so delicious?

    *Why you gotta act like that?

    *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?

    *Why do New Yorkers wear Timbs all year round, even in the summer time? (Jeebs be some moth balls and cross ventilation for feets)

    Can I get closure on THESE queries?

  • maria

    agree with not subjecting yourself to the “crazy” that is sure to ensue by tryin to force what you wanna hear from someone who clearly isn’t gonna tell you…it’s hard…it’s tempting…but its unnecessary and won’t ease any aches you may have over the break up… it’s like wanting to know about the other “woman” if your man cheated on you…why do the compare/analysis…no point..brush it off your shoulders…it is what it is…what you eat don’t make me $-h-i-t…

  • maria

    agree with not subjecting yourself to the “crazy” that is sure to ensue by tryin to force what you wanna hear from someone who clearly isn’t gonna tell you…it’s hard…it’s tempting…but its unnecessary and won’t ease any aches you may have over the break up… it’s like wanting to know about the other “woman” if your man cheated on you…why do the compare/analysis…no point..brush it off your shoulders…it is what it is…what you eat don’t make me $-h-i-t…

  • Resident GRitS

    …this is absolutely true.

    You save face by not groveling and leaving your “ex-boss” in a state of confusion. Break-ups will hurt, but it’s best to deal with those feelings among those who are concerned about yours: friends, family or whomever you trust. Our greatest mistake is that we seek understanding from the ex rather than taking the time to interpret the situation for ourselves.

    • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

      thanks …I’m glad people actually get the argument. But I know few people will heed it. It’s a great theory though. lol.

    • http://thismayconcernyou.com thismayconcernyou

      thanks …I’m glad people actually get the argument. But I know few people will heed it. It’s a great theory though. lol.

  • Resident GRitS

    …this is absolutely true.

    You save face by not groveling and leaving your “ex-boss” in a state of confusion. Break-ups will hurt, but it’s best to deal with those feelings among those who are concerned about yours: friends, family or whomever you trust. Our greatest mistake is that we seek understanding from the ex rather than taking the time to interpret the situation for ourselves.

  • http://myspace...iguess An Uninspired Muse

    Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?

    The same reason the babydoll shirts/dresses and Blossom hats were in style for so long.

  • http://myspace...iguess An Uninspired Muse

    Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?

    The same reason the babydoll shirts/dresses and Blossom hats were in style for so long.

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