***the vsb pittsburgh happy hour has been pushed back to may 1st. the time and location remains the same. again, if interested, email us at contact@verysmartbrothas.com, or rsvp through our facebook fan page.***
as you’ve probably noticed, verysmartbrothas.com, a relationship-centric website, hasn’t had any relationship-centric content in over a week. we’re the sh*t, though, so thats ok. plus, its a recession.
with this in mind, we’ve turned to dame from thismayconcernyou.com to help us out a bit today. enjoy, and have a great holiday weekend and sh*t.
—the champ
“I learned a long time ago never to ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.” ~ Darius Lovehall departing some salient advice in the film “Love Jones.”
To People Who Constantly Ask “Why?”:
I am a self-professed movie snob. But I do like my fair share of horrible flicks including Jamie Foxx’s “Breaking All The Rules.” I’m a fan of the film because Gabrielle Union stars in it. of its niche: applying employee termination rules to break-up technique.
When you think it through, the idea works … and its application translates to my reasoning for never questioning “Why?” when someone breaks up with you, won’t go on Date No. 3 or won’t give you his/her number.
When you’re fired from an at-will job, your employer is not required to explain why he/she is canceling your benefits, depleting your bank account, ostensibly ruining your life while kicking you toward the end of the mile-long unemployment line. giving you the pink slip. It could be because you smell like PigPen, dress like you belong on a pole, sound like Donald Duck or remind your supervisor of The Predator — all reasons you might not get the digits. Or it could be obvious early on that you perform as efficiently as a 1992 Buick LeSabre with 196,421 miles runs — a reason you don’t get to Date No. 3. But your supervisor isn’t required to tell you why.
Often, you already know the answer. But you still want the firer to humor you with his/her easy words. So you allow the infamous query to roll off your tongue several times before security puts you out with your box of belongings.
It happens at the end of relationships, too. The break-upee queries the break-uper for understanding — for possible, if not probable reconciliation (think: John Legend’s “Again”) or for closure (You give yourself closure). But the break-uper isn’t likely to make you privy to the real reasoning. Nod your head if you have been on either side of this fence. *nods head*
The break-uper might give you the tried and true “It’s not me you, it’s you me” or he/she could list some of the petty things that don’t matter just to throw you off (i.e., you have ugly feet, you’re five pounds overweight and remind him of Roseanne Barr [when you talk, too] or you ate seven pieces of fried chicken [not wings] in one meal. you talk while you eat).
You are smart enough to know none of aforementioned reasons (the non-stricken ones) is the cause behind the relationship split. There’s a great chance that he sees you as Jennifer Aniston. But he’s found an Angelina Jolie with whom he wants to start an Octomom-like babyfarm. Still, you keep querying “Why?” with little success and plenty of frustration. Just stop and ask yourself this: Does The “WHY?” even matter?
You should come up with a quick “No, it doesn’t,” and move on with your life. You wanna know why she/he broke up with you? Because you keep asking the damn question “why?” he/she doesn’t want you.
That may seem tough. But test the theory out. You might flip the script and leave your antagonist befuddled. But more important, you won’t want to grab a knife and stab his ass, pick up a brick and bust his cars windows or choke her until she can no longer sing “Take A Bow” do anything vindictive or spiteful when he/she feeds you sour nothings. Remember, you probably know why this person is cutting you from or not allowing you into his/her life.
I know what you’re thinking: Why does he think this asinine idea might even work? Because I said so, that’s why.
Seriously, why subject yourself to someone’s merry-go-round games? Haven’t you heard: wise people don’t argue with fools or chimps … “cause people from a distance can’t tell who’s who”. (Jigga)
Sincerely yours,
Dame (definitely not Dash)
P.S. A white person clearly wrote “Breaking All The Rules” because Gabrielle Union looks nothing like Halle Berry.
Welcome Dame!!
And you are right…people need to stop asking “why” and move on with their lives b/c you won’t be satisfied with any answer the firee gives you. Besides, that guy/lady who fires you can just kick rocks….
@N.I.A. fabuloussince82….,
wait, isnt the firee supposed to the one asking why in this scenario?
@shatani,
yeah, I think so…I just noticed that. Oh well, it’s past my bedtime…just change ee to er in your head when you read it….
@shatani,
No. The fired person asks why. The employee doesn’t care. They just want you to leave the premises (i.e., in the relationship: get off the phone or out of my face with that Eric Benet “Let’s Stay Together” BS …)
@shatani,
never mind my first comment. I see what you’re saying.
Point taken, Dame. I have some “Why” questions.
*Why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?
*Why/how is Amy Winehouse still alive, even after taking a drug cocktail that included horse tranquilizers?
*Why am I addicted to Ray J’s show, even though I know its killing my brain cells not so softly?
*Why is rice so delicious?
*Why you gotta act like that?
*Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?
*Why do New Yorkers wear Timbs all year round, even in the summer time? (Jeebs be some moth balls and cross ventilation for feets)
Can I get closure on THESE queries?
Why am I addicted to Ray J’s show, even though I know its killing my brain cells not so softly?
when you find the answer, puhhhhhlease let me know *hangs head in shame from being victim to FtLoRJ as well*
@Gem-nasty,
I haven’t been watching the whole time, but I’ve watched long enough to know…
SHE SMASHED THE HOMIE!
@nia, LOL @ she smashed the homies!!!! i’ve been saying it all week!
LMBO girrrrl me too!!!
and what tickles me so is how his friends were all talkin was soooooo cali ohmahgoodness. i miss it so *tear*
@Luvvie,
LOL @ your Whys. My dad got me a book when I was younger called “Tell Me Why” answering most of my “why does the moon follow us at night?” type questions. Clearly, those answers led to more questions.
Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?
Why they stop lettin ninjas get degrees in jail?
Why does crack have to hit (whitney) so hard?
Why does my co-worker sweat like the office be some stage lights?
Why am I awake?
Why does Ecostyler protein stain leaving hair gel still exist?
Why did they give everyone, including those with “ethnic” hair those little black combs on picture day? Boar Bristle wasn’t in the school budget?
NOT “Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?” lmbo
@overit,
I wanna play too…based on a job interview I had today….lets go….
Why is Cobra insurance the same as the plan at the job?
Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?
Why would I take a job that has anything to do with commission in THIS economy?
Why are you hiring but you don’t know when and for what location?
Why are you REALLY trying to offer me a job with no benefits….no really NO benefits?
Why did I waste my gas and time going to the interview?
Why am I debating if I need to take it or not?
@Saule Wright,
“Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?”
They won’t have to pay you for overtime.
@Saule Wright, these are some great Whys, these were my fav:
Why is Cobra insurance the same as the plan at the job?
Why are jobs offering SALARIES of 25k?
Why would I take a job that has anything to do with commission in THIS economy?
Commission is not cool with me in the best of times or the worst of times. I need stability in my life.
@overit,
You right, gurl. Someone oughta take an s-curl kit to Anthony Hamilton’s facial pubic hair
But riddle me this…
*Why is Yaki Inc LLC not yet a publicly traded company on the NYSE? It’d be the only stock being sold at the dollar store. Well mayb, I got my answer
*Why is Kelly Rowland the real life Cinderella & Papa Knowles is her wicked Stepfather? In her own little corner, in her own little chair…
*Why are mangoes so delicious?
*Why do the people with the hottest breaths always wanna invade my personal space and lean in when talking to me? Making my eyebrows curl is NOT the way to befriend me
*Why do fritos smell like feet and the inside of a fake leg (shoutouts to anchorman) but make such a good snack?
*Why isn’t there a cologne out called “Essence of Failure”? All they’d have to do is bottle the scent of MC Hammer & Gary Coleman
Why do the people with the hottest breaths always wanna invade my personal space and lean in when talking to me? Making my eyebrows curl is NOT the way to befriend me
lmbo this of course brought to mind b.scott’s “i don’t want your man”– so here goes…
“the number 1 reason why i don’t want ya man is becuz his breath gives me gas. i swear every time he speaks to me it starts bubbling up in my stomach. HIIIII BEEEE SCOOOOOOTT! i mean clearly he relaxes my curl, i have a straight bob when he’s done. that HOT A** BREATH! it’s like boom-cat, i mean like, i have a fierce posh victoria beckham bob when he’s done. eyebrows arched. face skin peeled. it’s like oooooh a git a git back!”
@Gem-nasty, OMG, i love you! the boom-kat! lmao, there needs to be a audio function on here so we could really do this justice, especially our part: HIIII BEEE SCOOOOOOT. i mean clearly!
track. gettin it.
ps) did you do that from memory? lol, if so…watch out for bbmo, she’s been hiding in bushes these days tryna catch us.
i wish he had added ‘cataracts gone” to that, i would have DIED.
NOT cataracts gone lmbo. ign’ant. straight up. might as well add “sinus pressure released” and “tooth enamel stripped”.
and yes! audio is definitely necessary to do that whole bit justice. unfortunately, i have never been able to do that whole sequence without crackin the H up.
@Luvvie,
Who you know fresher than Hov, riddle me that.
Why did my tonsils have to quit me?
But why was the pain medicine the truth? I was sooo content with the 6 wars, recession and illiteracy.
Why did Brit Brit and Jamie Lynn decide to add “un” to planned Parenthood?
Why do countries dump waste in the water of (lawless) countries then cry piracy?
I’m rambling at this point because I’m shutting down.
To be continued…
@overit,
“Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?”
That’s HYSTERICAL!
@overit,
“Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?”
got dayum…..you hard as ICE
@overit,
Why does Anthony Hamilton look like the recession?
I eQuit you.
@Luvvie,
You are killing me with the questions. This is going to turn itself into a vignette when I run this … lol … goofball.
@Luvvie, I love Jadakiss!
“*Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?”
Agreed! No one wants to see your camel boo!
@Nicki Sunshine,
People can wear leggings, but not with tiny shorts. Wear a shirt thats long enough to cover ur nether fist print and ssa cheek. That is all I ask
@Luvvie, Exactly. I wear them all the time. lol.. just not with a short shirt.
(they’re so comfortable) and still cute!
@Luvvie, *Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit
I hate this shyt with a passion…chicks coming to the club/bar looking like they just left their part-time street corner job…smh.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince82…., Why chicks think this acceptable cuz they got some shiny leggings and not the regular ones?
@Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,
Shooot those shiny ones look worse than the solid colors…lol
@Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,
the shiny ones call even more attention to the fact that you look ridiculous…and shiny. stop following celebrities…they can afford to look ridiculous, you cannot….
LOL
@Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,
I still can’t figure out what material the shiny ones are. Is it leather? pleather? vinyl? plastic? acrylic? Garbage bags?
WTF IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?
PS – Dame – I saw on your blog that you don’t like exclamation points, so this is just for you!!
@V Renee,
The shiny leggings are made of a polyurethane, rayon and viscose blend.
@Luvvie,
Ummmm did you randomly know this or did you check a tag?? Ha.
Either way I had to goggle vicose, and an article called “Is Viscose the Way to a Greener Future? : TreeHugger” came up. Apparently people who wear shiny leggings are being green.
(I have seen a FEW people who were actually able to look good in them)
@Luvvie,
*Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?”
Yes! WHY???!!! would somebody please answer. Why do women do this?
The mirage of dimples and potholes are extremely unflattering!
Also from the ABC New yesterday: “Why does the color-blind cuddlefish have very complex color camouflage?”
@Blue Skyez,
Not potholes! Lmao women’s thighs looking like unpaved roads & poverty. Folks need to stop for real
@Luvvie,
Please! And don’t let me get to the muffin tops and cut-off baby tees…I will have to start writing my will.
@Luvvie, Unpaved roads and poverty? i am DEAD…u murdert me!
@Luvvie, Awww here we go…
* Why did I see a dude on the bus yesterday with a Jheri Curl so moist that it kept reflecting the flash on my camera phone, thereby making it impossible for me to take a picture?
*Why did En Vogue make a song entitled “Hold On” and another called “Don’t Let Go?”
* Why can my one year old daughter do the Stanky Legg better than I can?
* Why can’t I pronounce cereal correctly? (Me: Cereo!)
These are the questions that keep me up at at at at at night….
@Kindred Smile,
“* Why did I see a dude on the bus yesterday with a Jheri Curl so moist that it kept reflecting the flash on my camera phone, thereby making it impossible for me to take a picture?”
I don’t even know you, and I hate you for that one! LMAO!!! Why was that MY curl back in 87? *sighs*
Viva la curl activator y plastic caps!!
agree with not subjecting yourself to the “crazy” that is sure to ensue by tryin to force what you wanna hear from someone who clearly isn’t gonna tell you…it’s hard…it’s tempting…but its unnecessary and won’t ease any aches you may have over the break up… it’s like wanting to know about the other “woman” if your man cheated on you…why do the compare/analysis…no point..brush it off your shoulders…it is what it is…what you eat don’t make me $-h-i-t…
…this is absolutely true.
You save face by not groveling and leaving your “ex-boss” in a state of confusion. Break-ups will hurt, but it’s best to deal with those feelings among those who are concerned about yours: friends, family or whomever you trust. Our greatest mistake is that we seek understanding from the ex rather than taking the time to interpret the situation for ourselves.
thanks …I’m glad people actually get the argument. But I know few people will heed it. It’s a great theory though. lol.
Why do women think leggings and a small shirt = an outfit?
The same reason the babydoll shirts/dresses and Blossom hats were in style for so long.
@An Uninspired Muse,
@Resident GRitS,
But didn’t Blossom hats go out of style to in the mid-90s? Why are we regurgitating bad trends like Kanye’s mullet …
An Open Letter to Kanye’s Hair.
http://thismayconcernyou.wordpress.com/2009/02/09/3-kanye-wests-hair/
oh, and Champ, you should change the date on the Facebook page — it still says Apr 24.
and thanks for changing the date for us!!!!! a VSB happy hour wouldn’t be very VSB-y without us
@Gem-nasty,
The date posted (April 31st). Is not a real date
lol and i meant to point that out as well!! good job.
may 1st, champie, 5/1
****Madame Zenobia is a little sleepy, a little ipsy and definitely a little “frustrated” if you know what she means. This will potentially cause her to over-share tonight. But she blames you (the champ or panama or the dame from tmcy) for posting in the AM hours.****
A.) Correct me if I’m wrong but does the tagline “Where our favorite CP3 wears a B-Cup refer to Candace Parker? Because if so Candace Parker actually where’s a C-Cup as noted at the beginning of the ESPN the Magazine’s feature story from two issues ago. http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3967891 (Yes, Madame Zenobia subscribes to ESPN the Mag.) As a woman extremely proud of her (natural) endowment – I just wanted to give CP3 her just do.
B.) I’m sure someone has already pointed this out but April has 3o days.
C.) The article and its timeliness as it pertains to MZ’s going out with a cat who she thought was feeling her and him being the BIGGEST tease of all times. (When I tell you if the situation was reversed and I was a male and he was female I’d have the bluest b*lls of all times I mean it. ) I hate it when someone talks a lot of game about can/will do but when it comes time to put up or shut up they’re out quicker than T-Mac in the playoffs – it makes me wonder “Why.”
“Why did you spend all this time talking up your (starts with a ‘d’ and rhymes with stick) game but you aren’t willing to back it up?
“Why was I the chick whose time you choose to waste?”
and most importantly:
“Why did I allow you to waste my time?”
My why’s quickly turn into an “Eff you, I don’t have time to deal with your weak shyt anyway. You’ve probably saved me from thinking ‘This was whack’ two minutes after you started.”
So yes, try it out. This method can work and you’re usually better for it as you’ve avoided a situation/hook-up/relationship you would have regretted (and/or been p*ssed off about later.)
@Madame Zenobia,
T-Mac and the playoffs never seem to work out, do they? lmao.
@thismayconcernyou,
He’s never gonna make it out of the first round….so sad for him
@Madame Zenobia, I cant believe that they missed that she wore a C-Cup.
that hurts my heart
perhaps the C-cup came with the pregnancy
@Peyso is no longer confused about twitter,
I’m still confused about twitter. I still don’t get how people have real conversations on it. I want my update message to say the same, not tell you what i’m telling someone else. iDK
@Madame Zenobia,
Heck, you’re doing better than me. I thought the CP3 they were talking about was Chris Paul. Hey, I don’t judge. ; )
@RedBeanzNRice
If I’m not mistaken, CP3 (not to be mistaken with TP-2) refers to Chris Paul too.
@V Renee,
Yep, CP3 is also Chris Paul (he’s actually MY personal favorite CP3) but I figured since this site is written my men and references bra size they were probably talking about Candance Parker.
I’ve never had a boyfriend break up with me, so if when it does happen, I will probably ask ‘why’ because it’ll be a completely unfamilair experience for me.
That said, I do not think the person gettin dumped should be asking questions about ‘what went wrong’ or ‘why did this happen’? And the dumper should never volunteer the information and refuse to discuss the matter if pressed. It may seem cold, but a simple ‘I can’t do this anymore’ or ‘I ain’t feeling this’ is all you should ever say.
You only discuss what’s wrong with a relationship if you want to fix it. If you would rather cut your losses and shop for something new, say ‘peace out’ and keep it moving.
@V.E.G.,
don’t ask “why?” Why? because you’re going to end up addicted asking the question like Amy Winehouse is hooked on blow’s molested little cousin.
That’s not cool. Trust me. I write from experience on both sides of the employee termination fence — real and relation-”situation” and asking why my fav sports teams/players do dumb ish and never get an answer. lol.
It really is like trying blow or a cancer stick for the first time, and getting hooked. Like Nancy Reagan would say: “Just Say No.”
@V.E.G.,
“I’ve never had a boyfriend break up with me.”
Why have you never had a boyfriend break up with you?
I have a friend like this. She the “I’ll break up with him before he could break up with me type.” It’s like a race for her to see who is first to cut the losses. Even if she doesn’t really want to break up with a boyfriend when she sees the signs that he might want to break-up she wants to have the first and the last say in the ending of the relationship. If the guy already shows signs of wanted to break up and doesn’t really take the break up that hard. The break up was mutual. How could you know that none of them wanted to break up with you first?
I agree with you Dame! I learned that after reading “He’s Just Not That Into You,” a minute ago.
But, I think some people ask why bc theyare looking for reassurance (i.e. validation) that nothing is wrong with them.
@Nicki Sunshine,
You know, being a relationship expert of sorts (not really) I read the first 25 pages of that book. Then put it down. It reads like a bad Techno song sounds.
“he’s just not that into you. he’s just not that into you.he’s just not that into you.he’s just not that into you.he’s just not that into you.he’s just not that into you.”
Was all of that necessary?
@thismayconcernyou, LOL. Some women need repetitiveness.
It helped me, so I guess I’m one of them.
It’s written that way bc some of us (women) steadily make excuses for a man, on why he acts this way but he does this so he must like me… so I think the book is supposed to basically say, “look stupid. He’s not into you.” lol
@thismayconcernyou,
“Was all of that necessary?”
absolutely.
Sometimes we as women can get stuck on stupid. To me the repetitiveness is effective because really 99% of that book is common sense, if a man isn’t trying to have se!x with you..bingo, not calling..bingo. etc. etc.
@The Comeback Girl,
@Nicki Sunshine,
I have something coming for both of you all that is sort of going to agree with what you’re saying, but then totally blast it. … Here’s a hint: you’ll likely here it on Sunday if you put on your Easter white and go to church.
@thismayconcernyou, The Lawd? Yes, I hear the message from him too, but sometimes it’s not that simple, or we don’t make it that way. The essence of some women boo.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“The Lawd?”
im slow cause I was seriously trying figure out D-money’s message in the “easter egg hunt”.
so he’s comparing the Love of the Lord to that of another flesh and blood man?
i need coffee..
@Comeback: LOL..
I was trying to figure it out too but I “think” he was saying why are we looking for a book to tell us instead of seeking the advice of God?
@Nicki Sunshine,
hmmm…so God isn’t down for women getting the love they deserve?
@Comeback: LOL.. No, I think he’s saying that we shouldn’t be looking toward a book to tell us when a man is not into us, God will let u know when he is?
I think? Come on MAN.. help us out up in here. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
d-money somewhere writing a letter..lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
OK, a quickkie for you two: you hear the “Aaster” sermon how many times a year? about 10, right? It annoys you. But people need to hear the message that many times so that it hopefully gets across.
@TMCY: “OK, a quickkie for you two: you hear the “Aaster” sermon how many times a year? about 10, right? It annoys you. But people need to hear the message that many times so that it hopefully gets across.”
Did u mean the Easter sermon?
But yes, sir, that’s the point me and Comeback was packing.. we need things beat into our heads sometimes
@nicki,
yeah Easter. I don’t know how hand slipped. lol. “God forgive me,” especially on this weekend of all weekends.
We always ask why, but we really, really don’t wanna know why.
@miss t-lee, Exactly!
@miss t-lee,
so true….
@miss t-lee,
I’ve been the dumper AND the dumpee, and I can with certainty say that when I ask “why?”, it’s not cause I want to know, it’s cause I want to take stabs back at THAT nicca.
Me: Why?
Him: I love you, but you’re just too emotionally unstable.
Me: Nicca what? Oh you mean unstable like ya mama, way she be callin 12 to 15 times a day to tell you about Sister Odetta and Pastor Jenkins secret rendezvous just to get your feedback. Or you mean unstable like the way yo azz goes into hyper sh*t-fits if you see a scuff mark on a pair of them Pro-Wings you call Jordans? *sighs*
Yeah, it’s never cause we really WANT to know, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
*laughing loudly*
I know…I know…I used to act like I really wanted to know, but once they tell you something halfway sideways all bets are off. ‘Cause I don’t wanna hit back below the belt (which I’m ridiculously great at lol).
It’s just best to cut your losses and walk away.
@RedBeanzNRice
“when I ask “why?”, it’s not cause I want to know, it’s cause I want to take stabs back at THAT nicca.”
Now that I read this. I feel you completely. Because really that’s what I would do too.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I just spit water all over my company laptop.
Chile you sould like me..
@RedBeanzNRice,
Thanks for rehashing the bent up emotions I’ve held and resentment issues i’ve held inside towards my parents for buying me Pro Wings instead of Nikes.
@Monk,
Hahaha – I know right? I had a pair of them joints back in the day, too – tryna pass em off as Reeboks, lol. I just KNEW I was the only one who could tell they weren’t the real deal. I.was.wrong. : (
i stopped askin why at 18…..never looked back.
“You are smart enough to know none of aforementioned reasons (the non-stricken ones) is the cause behind the relationship split. There’s a great chance that he sees you as Jennifer Aniston. But he’s found an Angelina Jolie with whom he wants to start an Octomom-like babyfarm”
This kilted me….the only thing i could possibly say to that is good the fyck riddance, those choices ususally backfire anyway. You get what you get.
@The Comeback Girl,
You’re right. They usually do. That’s why I’m scared for Jolie and Brad. And I like Brad, we went to the same school. lol. And I love his woman’s lips.
@thismayconcernyou,
“And I love his woman’s lips.”
um TMI..I honestly don’t like the way he did Jen Jen..look how BradJolina met? and under which circumstances…i could be wrong (and giving into untruths and gossip) but there was a significant overlap…obviously there was serious chemistry highlighted in mr.mrs smith..but dayum clean your plate, brad..Its very possible that they were better suited than Brad and Jen…but in the end karma is a mofo.
@The Comeback Girl,
yeah the circumstances surrounding their entire
situationrelationship is sketchy..they both better watch out for my girl Karma…she can be a real bytch, but I love her anyway….@The Comeback Girl,
“I honestly don’t like the way he did Jen Jen..look how BradJolina met? ”
Yeah, it’s a BUNCH of speculation and rumors, but truth be told, Brad and Jen were on the outs when him and Angelina met, anyway. It was because Jen wouldn’t give him any babies, and he wanted a family. They were already legally separated when the movie started shooting, and the year prior to the movie shooting is when things went south. So Jolie didn’t really break up their marriage – Jen did.
Had to put that out there, cause I don’t like folks thinking bad of my Angelina.
@RedBeanzNRice,
seperated is still married in my book..and i guess he got what he wanted kids UN style a la Josephine Baker..with no end in sight…good luck with having kids and brokering peace agreements via “birthing a nation”…im not impressed.
@The Comeback Girl,
“kids UN style a la Josephine Baker”
you right when you say what you say…
@RedBeanzNRice,
“Brad and Jen were on the outs when him and Angelina met, anyway. It was because Jen wouldn’t give him any babies, and he wanted a family.”
However, if the rumors about Jen being preggers with John Mayers or Meyers (whatever) baby then Karma really didn’t work in her favor. Since her and John are split now, he may write a tell-all book about their relationship, and she may end up a single, mom. eff life.
@Blue Skyez,
Good. I hope he DOES write a tell-all so folks can see how crazy that chick is. She even said herself that she’s neurotic. Well DUH – but that’s only part of the reason why she can’t keep a man. I’m sayin’, since Brad and Angelina have been together, Jen has gone through, what, 3 different men already? (John, Vince, and some other random dude) And not one of them has lasted longer than 6 consecutive months.
Personally, I think Brad was a saint for putting up with her as long as he did. Besides that, he was WAY too fine for her anyway. Just sayin’.
@The Comeback Girl,
you know I’m TMI like 22/7. Sorry. lol. You’re right, though … Karma might comeback at Brangelina at some point.
@thismayconcernyou,
I hate angelina, i think she’s a whore, i dont care how many underprivledged babies she adopts i still wont forget how she used to do heron lol, walk around like alviria french kissing her brother, and wearing billy bob thorton’s blood in a vile around her neck- and i dont care what was going on between brad and jen he was still married ho-keep ur legs closed. i think she’s a witch with a magic vagina that keeps brad hypmatised-or vagitized-look into her eyes she has no soul, and another thing black woman have had those kind of lips forever she aint special. sorry for the rant i just had to get it out lol it prob doesnt help that i’m a jen fan and i hate how they parade their motley crew of children (although i love the kids i think theyre very cute) in front of her. i used to really like brad but i hate what he did to jen-it was heartless, but i guess i can’t hate completly he is being controlled by the witche’s dark powers…ok end scene.
@PrincesMo,
Not the magic vijay jay hahahahahaha
@PrincesMo,
Soooo, you don’t want to tell us how you REALLY feel??
@PrincesMo,
You did that!!!!!
@PrincesMo,
I’m just tired of them letting Zahara walk around looking unkempt….
@PrincesMo, LMAO “I think she’s a witch with a magic bagina” I love random @ss ranting
@PrincesMo,
She still has those DSL’s though…LOL!! After Billy Bob though, I think I’ll pass.
@PrincesMo,
Jen needs to GET A LIFE already – it’s been over for years now. They’re not parading the kids around Jen, it’s not Jen’s world. What are they supposed to do, keep the kids locked up in the house so poor, whiny Jen doesn’t have to see how bad she effed up with Brad? And by the way, Jen’s an even bigger whore than Angelina – seems her legs are more like 7-11 if you really look at the facts.
@PrincesMo,
TEAM ANGELINA!
You mention all these things about Angelina like wearing viles of blood, kissing her brother, etc. She was in her twenties! Son, tell me you aint done nothing you’re not proud of in your 20′s, however disgusting!
I mean Eve ate the apple, and is what she is forever immortalized as in the Bible. But she was also the First Woman, and I am sure so many other things. I never want to be known for just ONE season in my life.
Real Talk (ugh, it is not getting better with that word! But I am going to keep using it until it doesn’t hurt!)
So you can’t ask why, to find out whether it was something about the person (that they may need to work on) that contributed to the break up?
@V Renee,
“something about the person (that they may need to work on)”
But at the point of break-up, does it really matter if it’s something THEY need to work on? It’s no longer your problem, and it’s not your place to try and help them “fix” themselves for the next broad. JMO.
@RedBeanzNRice
I guess it just seems rather heartless. If you say you care about this person, and there is some type of “flaw” they need to work on, as someone who claimed that they cared about them, why wouldn’t you want to help them.
@V Renee,
“If you say you care about this person, and there is some type of “flaw” they need to work on, as someone who claimed that they cared about them, why wouldn’t you want to help them.”
Cause they’re breaking up with you! There will be no parting gifts, lol! Besides that, wouldn’t helping him with his flaws make him better for the next chick? Shew, not me – couldn’t do it.
I’d be like, “Yep, Nicca, it was ALL me – you’re PERFECT. Nevermind the fact that your jaw clicks when you chew, and you talk with your mouth full – women LOVE that. Keep doing you, Bruh.” lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
” I’d be like, “Yep, Nicca, it was ALL me – you’re PERFECT. Nevermind the fact that your jaw clicks when you chew, and you talk with your mouth full – women LOVE that. Keep doing you, Bruh.” lol.”
Dont you REALLY start to hate ish about them dudes when you’re over them?! Good Lord!
Why? Things that make you go hmmm.
Hi Dame. Great blog! For me personally, the “WHY” comes out of wanting to be a better person. Not that the person that dumped you is the be all and end all. Like you noted, it could be something very trivial like–the kind of underwear you wear (I actually got dumped for this) or the fact that oranges & apples are the only fruit you eat (I actually dumped someone for this).
What if the problem is bigger. I am not above growing and being a better person. I guess some will say at a certain age the person is who they will be but I disagree with that. I am 36 and learning how to be a better person & that some of my bullsh*t will keep me alone with cats to keep my company (thanks Champ for that visual a few weeks back).
So I guess my “WHY” would be if it was something serious that I needed to continue to work on for the next person. I am not above that type of answer and willing to look at it from the other persons perspective. Thanks again for sharing this!
@Yaa,
I hope you get back and see this. I know I’m mad late, but I had a busy day. ….
YOU LIKELY KNOW WHAT THE DEAL IS. And your guy/ex more than likely won’t be upfront with you about it … that’s real talk.
You can try it if you want, but you’re likely just going to run in circles trying to understand why you’re getting the run around … it’s not worth it. Period.
…I’ve found that the WHY’S don’t matter at all in the end..all that matters is what is or what isn’t, not how it got that way.
I think folk get occupied with the why’s because folk always looking to justify things= SUM UP, in a natural and general sense and thats only human but alot of times in this journey called life things happen that are beyond our understanding at particular points, and then sometimes further down the road in life the LORD is gracious enough to reveal the WHYS and still sometimes, in some circumstances, some WHY”s won’t get answered til the ride is over……..
I got more questions…
*Why did I suffer a shoulder injury from carrying my 13 inch MacBook?
*Why does Mariah Carey still dress like a tweenager? Cut off shorts and cropped tops? Really?
*Why is Denzel Washington at LEAST 86 years old and STILL sexier than most of the rest of Hollywood? Dude’s elderly swagger is TIGHT.
*Why does Star Jones look like she’s melting?
*Why hasn’t Angelina Jolie hired a Black nanny to comb baby Zahara’s coif?
*Why is my addiction to shoes ruining my ability to have a functional closet?
*Why is my intern so damn jolly at 9am? Sharrap!
Yeah I just need answers
@Luvvie,
“*Why did I suffer a shoulder injury from carrying my 13 inch MacBook?”
*shrugs* Um, cause your arms are too short to box with God?
@RedBeanzNRice,
*Crying*
@RedBeanzNRice,
Ihatechu (and by “hate” I mean “heart”). LMAO!!! u stoopid!
@RedBeanzNRice,
*dead*
@Luvvie
“*Why is Denzel Washington at LEAST 86 years old and STILL sexier than most of the rest of Hollywood? Dude’s elderly swagger is TIGHT.”
His daddy fine too.
@Luvvie,
“*Why does Mariah Carey still dress like a tweenager? Cut off shorts and cropped tops? Really?”
I just wanna know why she can’t walk nowhere without Nick or a body guard holding her up. What up wit dat? Will she topple over if she doesn’t have assistance? Sounds like an equilibrium problem. And by equilibrium, I mean drugs and alcohol.
Yes, blame it dammit, blame it!
@Luvvie, *Why hasn’t Angelina Jolie hired a Black nanny to comb baby Zahara’s coif?
that right there is a mystery. my heart hurts whenever I see pics of the family and Zahara is the only one who looks like she just got in a fight…hair disheveled and eyes are wide and shyt….
@N.I.A. fabuloussince82….,
I concur. Mentally, I’m tryna channel Angelina so she can call me and hire me to do that po chile’s hair. Shame too, cause Z is the cutest thing with a Buckwheat-do that I ever did see. O-Tay.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince82….,
I agree as well. There needs to be a clause in their (non-Negro Hollywood star who adopt children from African countries) adoption contracts that obligates them to thoroughly moisturize the children and keep an ethnic haircare specialist on staff.
@Luvvie,
I think I’m just going to do a day of Luvvie’s questions before/after I repost this in its sequence … lol. And you know I’m not lying.
You are a clown, but that’s a beautiful thing.
yearh ur def rigth u should just not ask, and u should def never go to another state on the greyhound on a whim to find out when they won’t tell you why, and def don’t sit outside theyre house waiting for them for an indefinate amt of time..in the rain. just stay at home and save ur bus fare lest someone might confuse you with a stalker LOL!
I think that asking why is a bad idea immediately after the break up. You wind up analyzing every word of the b.s explanation and then trying to figure out what was wrong with you. Chances are you are just fine. I do feel think that after a long period of time (or never) you can reach out to an ex amicably and ask those types of questions. I read an article a while ago by a woman who did.
http://www.theroot.com/views/exit-interviews-my-exes
You’ll be tempted to ask why, but chances are you won’t learn anything you didn’t already know.
I try not to ask why and instead use my imagination to come up with the most ridiculous reasons as to why someone may do something BSC (Bat.ish.crazy). Sad thing about it is my imagined crazy reason is usually right. *sigh*
HAVE A FABULOUS GOOD FRIDAY AND A HAPPY, HAPPY EASTER FOLKS!
@CreoleInDC
“Sad thing about it is my imagined crazy reason is usually right. *sigh*”
I have a very active imagination too. But no matter how active my imagination is, real life is always crazier than my imagination.
Happy Easter to you too!
asking why is very dangerous. the truth hurts (at least it’s always hurt me!)
p.s. champ we love your cheatin feature on honeymag.com…and happy holidays everyone!
I haven’t been dumped…I guess I’m young in the game. I don’t ask for numbers thus I don’t get turned down. I’m definitely the one in my off and on saga of a relationship who always asks WHY and in turn frustrating the hell out of this man. Hmmmm I guess I better stop asking Y.
When are ya’ll coming to NYC to do a Happy Hour… are ya’ll discriminating against us NYers cuz we loooooove VSB