Why A Man Enjoying A Woman’s Finger In His Butt Doesn’t Make Him Gay (NTTAWWT), Explained » VSB

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Why A Man Enjoying A Woman’s Finger In His Butt Doesn’t Make Him Gay (NTTAWWT), Explained

Vittorio Zunino Celotto/CI Getty Images Entertainment


Who is Amber Rose?

Ex-girlfriend of Kanye West, ex-wife of Wiz Khalifa, social media soul destroyer, and perhaps the most famous Cape Verdean alive today.


Yes, really. If we ever decided to honor and recognize a Cape Verdean-American history month, kids would be required to do Amber Rose book reports and school projects. She’d basically be the Cape Verdean Benjamin Banneker.

Why are we talking about her today?

Last week, as a response to her ex (Kanye) misinterpreting and disrespectfully responding to her other ex’s (Wiz) tweet, Amber Rose revealed that Kanye enjoyed anal stimulation.

Where those her exact words?

No, those were not her exact words. Her exact words were “Awww @kanyewest are u mad I’m not around to play in ur asshole anymore? #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch.”

Ah, I see. So she basically just outed Kanye as gay, huh?

No, she didn’t.

Wait, didn’t you just say that she tweeted that Kanye enjoys anal stimulation?

I did.

And, do you believe that Amber Rose is telling the truth?

I do. Of course, Kanye denied it. But he needs more people. Preferably people with hand sanitizer.



Kanye West is a man. If a man enjoys anal stimulation, that makes him a gay man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But I’m pretty certain that if I looked in the “Things That Make A Man Gay” textbook, enjoying that type of action is the entire first chapter. It’s right before the chapter about quiche recipes. 

It sounds like you just need an updated textbook. And why do you own a “Things That Make A Man Gay” textbook anyway?

I’m asking the questions here.

Ask better questions then.

Ok. Here’s one: If this isn’t an act that’s considered to be a homosexual act, why did Amber Rose tweet it like she was playing the Big Joker, why did the internet react like she just played the Big Joker, and why did Kanye even feel the need to deny it? I mean, if this is perfectly within the parameters of heterosexual sex, why the fuss?

Well, first you have to start with Amber Rose. Although Kanye’s reprehensible tweets about her child and her status as a former stripper gave her carte blanche to respond however she wanted — Twitter morality carte blanche, at least — revealing Ye’s proctological proclivities was (understandably and justifiably and hilariously) petty and, unfortunately, problematic. I’m certain she’s aware of how narrow our collective cultural definition of male heterosexuality tends to be — and how, in regards to Black male heterosexuality, the definition is even more narrow — and revealing that Kanye enjoys that act in such a “gotcha bitch!” manner insinuates this is something Kanye, a straight man, should be ashamed of. Taking the bait, Kanye denied it; an act that further insinuated that this is something to be ashamed of.

An irony here is that although Amber Rose tweeted that information because she knew it would be a big deal, I strongly doubt she — a person who has been a passionate and outspoken advocate for sexual freedom — personally believes it’s a big deal.

After all, if she’s being truthful — and I have no reason to believe she wasn’t — she was a willing participant for years. And she has a baby with a tall Black Pittsburgher who regularly dresses like he’s teaching a Bikram Yoga class in 2316.

Let me get this straight: You’re basically saying that a man enjoying that act does not make him a gay or bisexual man. Is that correct?

Yes. It is.

How not?

Those words aren’t supposed to go together like that.

Stop playing. You know what I mean.

It was an act done with a man and a woman within the confines of a heterosexual relationship. Asking if an act done with a man and a woman within the confines of a heterosexual relationship is “gay” is like asking if a steak and eggs dinner is a vegan meal. As long as the meat is there, it can’t be vegan.

That was a terrible, terrible, terrible analogy. And, considering the context, ridiculously inappropriate. 

I know. I’m just saying, if Kanye (or any other man) enjoys that act when it is performed on him by a woman — and only when it is performed on him by a woman — it’s not “gay.” Kinky? Perhaps. But heterosexuality is expansive enough that there is room for kink.

It also would help to know that even now, within our collectively narrow definition of male heterosexually, exists relatively common acts that were once roundly considered to be over the gay threshold. Male/female anal sex, for instance. (The rationale for “suspected gayness” being that if a man enjoys anal sex with a woman, why wouldn’t he also enjoy it with a man?) There are even some cultures that still consider a man performing oral sex on a woman to be suspect. An entire Mafia war broke out during a season of The Sopranos because one character made jokes about another character’s affinity for going down.

It seems ridiculous now to think of a man performing cunnilingus as a “gay” act. But that just shows you how strong cultural conditioning can be.

Anyway, if Kanye (or any other man) desires to have a man perform that (or any other sexual act) on him, then perhaps he’s bisexual or gay. Now, though, he’s just a straight man who likes it when women put fingers in his butt.

(Also, it should be noted that if Kanye is, in fact, bisexual or gay…so the hell what?)

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • YeaSoh

    Only read the title but Damon NOOOOOO!

    • Damon Young


  • CliffPaul

    its gay. there’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what he likes, but it is gay. he should just own it.

    • Damon Young

      expound and sh*t

      • CliffPaul

        it has nothing to do with a woman being involved in the act. if you jack off, and stick a finger in your ass, that’s a gay act. you’re probably bi.

        the thing is: dudes, like kanye, want to be able to enjoy sticking a finger in their ass without having to have the label of “gay” behind it. so, he’s gonna deny it. but it is gay, and he should just own it.

        • Glo

          It feels good because your prostate is being stimulated. Not because you’re pretending the finger is peen. And definitely not because you’re secretly attracted to dudes.

        • Pinks

          You can be gay with yourself? Learn something new every day.

          • Glo


          • Lea Thrace

            How Sway?

            I haz so many confusions!

          • miss t-lee

            This is also news to me.

          • Aly


          • That seriously just made me CTFU.

        • marwilli

          Oh I see. No wonder so many men have identity crises when they get prostate exams.

        • Jennifer

          Wrong and strong. Claim it!

    • Actually it’s not gay. Taboo in US-American culture? Yes, but gay? Nah. There are heterosexual guys that like prostate stimulation. There are gay guys that don’t. Does that make the heterosexual guy gay or the gay guy straight? Nope.

  • Courtney Wheeler

    Prostate tickling…it’s a thing…*ThankyourealsexonHBO*

    • L8Comer

      That’s where their G-spot is! You mean to tell me if you could have an earth shattering O unlike something you’ve ever felt, you wouldn’t be curious to at least try it with the right partner? GTFOHWTHBS lol

    • L8Comer
      • RewindingtonMaximus


        • L8Comer

          been waiting for months to use this gif lol. I forget when the first Ye article came. Almost forgot again.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            lmao you have great timing then.And a lot of patience

      • Brass Tacks

        Lol I feel like you’re trolling. But im not absolutely certain.

        • L8Comer

          Nah, I just thought the gif was funny and appropriate. Been waiting to use it. Seemed like the right time

      • miss t-lee

        This gif though.

        • L8Comer

          Lol! Luther anyone? I mean… when else was I going to be able to use it lol?

  • Me

    I feel too dense for twitter sometimes… I was not aware that I was supposed to infer homosexuality out of fingers in the booty. Aren’t fingers VERY different in form and function from peens? I mean, it’s just a way to get your man to inadvertently be more *ahem* thrustful, no? Same works for fingers in a woman’s booty… better clench. IJS.

    • Damon Young

      “Aren’t fingers VERY different in form and function from peens?”

      i would assume so

  • ParisBrother

    1. Amber Rose is only half-Cabo Verdean.
    2. Good article and I agree.
    3. I don’t know how liberal you are Mr. Young, but I hope you don’t always pander to the left…unless you’re just naturally super-left leaning.

    • Damon Young

      1. obama is only half african american, but he’s still getting black history month book reports
      2. thanks
      3. you think i’m insincere?

      • ParisBrother

        Lol. Good point on #1. Nah, you’re not insincere. That’s why I changed my post before you replied. Your posts come off as genuine. That’s why I forward y’alls articles to every black person I know.

      • TJ

        ALL THE BLACK HISTORY MONTH BOOK REPORTS. Might get a David A. Adler book too.

      • ParisBrother

        Also, Obama is half Kenyan. Not African American. Had to be pendantic.

        • So he’s literally an African-American.

          • ParisBrother

            His father wasn’t an American citizen, so how is he half African-American? He’s just half-African half-white. Right?

  • OSHH

    I thought the whole tweet was an insinuation that he was open for more than just fingers, but that was just my take.

  • Kat

    I like a n a l…”Kanye shrug”

    • Pinks

      Kat ain’t taking no prisoners.

      • Kat

        I’m open…lol I don’t get stigmatizing anyone’s dislikes or likes. I ain’t however letting any and everything into the kumquat area. Some fruit just needs to ripen slowly. Seasonal and ish…

      • miss t-lee


    • brothaskeeper


      • Brass Tacks

        This is funny

  • miss t-lee

    “Yes, really. If we ever decided to honor and recognize a Cape Verdean-American history month, kids would be required to do Amber Rose book reports and school projects. She’d basically be the Cape Verdean Benjamin Banneker.”

    I mean, there’s also Left Eye, but the above made me chuckle.Mainly because I remember doing a research paper about Benjamin Banneker back in the day…lol

    I don’t really blame Amber for her response. You talk about someone’s child all bets are off. You talk about my non-existent child and I’d probably call you and your mother everything but a child of the most high King.
    Being as Kanye is a rapper, that response from her was super strategic, as well as hurtful. Even the East German judge gave a it 10. We all know how homophobic the hip hop community is, so it definitely got the folks talking. Plus, it was just plain dumb on his part to drag your ex, the one who knows where all the bodies are buried, on a public platform, in an argument that didn’t have sh*t to do with her.
    On the outside looking in, everyone was wrong all the way around, however I applaud Amber for getting that shot in.

    Most of ladies know some guys who like all kinds of things involving their butts and none of that makes them gay because they enjoy these activities with a woman, so there’s that.

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      So, cause of the kids, she get a 100% pass on the attempted shaming? word?…ok.

      • miss t-lee

        Yeah…that’s *exactly* what I said.

    • menajeanmaehightower

      Agreed. I’m put off by Damon always seeming to defend Kanye. “He was wrong but…” No, Kanye can dish it out but can’t take it. Amber should have said something about a dog licking his a n u s and kept it going.

      • miss t-lee

        Folks who are really into Kanye still find ways to defend his b*tchmade behavior. It’s really hilarious.

  • Me

    My stance is: you can’t infer sexuality out of anything that both sexes possess. So if a man likes fingers in his booty, you can’t draw any real conclusions from it because everybody has fingers (plus everybody has a booty). Same way you can’t infer anything from women who like tongues on their qulits or men who like mouths around their peens. These things aren’t concrete indicators of anything.

    • kid video

      ‘qulits’? :)

  • marwilli

    You can ask a woman to put her mouth there, and that’s not gay, but somehow asking her to put her finger there is? GTFOH. Y’all are confused.

    • YeaSoh

      Wait y’all asking for tongue play there too??? Uhn uh

      • Brandon Allen

        After “Post to be” came out everyone was talking about munching chocolate but I don’t think it’s really that much of a trend.

        • Jennifer

          I always figured the mention of eating b o o t y like groceries was just a poor attempt at rhyming.

          • Cleojonz

            I actually thought they just meant the other orifice. I mean how many years have dudes been talking about getting booty? They weren’t talking about having a n a l.

      • marwilli

        I dunno, maybe I’ve been listening to the Read too much.

        • Jennifer

          LOL – Yes, that’s it. I did like Kid Fury’s suggestion last week of having everybody rep their proctological proclivity team.

      • Yep. This is a thing now.

      • Pinks

        I think that’s how it’s done. I’m not sure most women would do that off GP.

    • Hugh Akston

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