Featured, Race & Politics

Why 13% Of Black Men Voted For Donald Trump, Explained

According to exit poll numbers, 13% of the Black men who voted in the Presidential election voted for Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know.

This even surpasses the number of Black male voters who went for both McCain and Romney. 

I know that too.

Can you explain how that happened? Why would 13% of Black men vote for this man?

Because some niggas is stupid.

Really? Some niggas is stupid? That’s your explanation? 

Yes. There’s really no need to expound. 13% of niggas just don’t have the good sense God and Issac Hayes gave them.

Does this surprise you at all?

That 13% of Black men voted for a man who unabashedly engages and cultivates racists like they’re grass-fed chickens? Yes. But, that 13% of niggas are dumb enough to do that? Nah.

Why not?

Because, generally speaking, 13% of niggas are dumb. If you grabbed a random sampling of 10 niggas, between 1 and 1.3 of them are going to prone to prolonged bouts of dumbassshitness. It’s science.

Now, I’m aware the 13% of niggas being dumber than a misspelled yield sign stat sounds brutal. But for comparison’s sake, 21% of men generally are dumb. So there are actually less dumb as the fuck Black men than dumb as the fuck men in general.

Interesting! Why do you think this is?

Niggas just can’t afford to be dumb, which is something we all know, so it’s usually shamed/beaten by tree branches of love out of us at a young age. Grown-ass dumb-ass Black men end up on WorldStar or named “Tyga.” Grown-ass dumb-ass White men end up in the White House.

So if you happen to meet a grown-ass dumb-ass nigga, know that his stupidity is intentional. Premeditated. Calculated. That he’s had decades worth of grandmas and teachers and coaches and homies and barbers and lovers desperately trying to iron some sense into his natural Black ass — some even willing to sacrifice their own asses for his — but he was so set on being a dumb motherfucker that it didn’t matter. Know that this nigga tried his damn hardest to be dumb; he studied stupidity; he gave more effort — more blood, sweat, and tears — into intellectual fuckshitlery than anything else.

Be afraid of that nigga. Be very afraid.

This is quite fascinating. So, if you don’t mind me asking, how does a grown-ass Black man end up being so damn stupid?

There are myriad possible causes. Some are so obsessed with being close to Whiteness — being loved and accepted by White people or constructing himself in the White man’s image (or both) — that it fries their brain cells; effectively turning them into a crumpled pair of Wrangler jeans. Some are hamstrung by patriarchy, where latent misogyny is so deeply embedded into their psyches that they’re not even aware its there. Some treat Christianity like a bottomless brunch buffet; deciding to choose which parts of the Bible they’ll follow and which ones they’ll ignore. (“Lemme have the Eggs Rockefeller and the disdain for gay marriage. But I’ll pass on the no premarital sex. That shit can stay in the tray.”) Some order all of their reading material from the ads in the back of Smooth Magazine. And some just got really caught up in Pre-Paid Legal in the late 90s.

Add each of these populations together (and control for the overlap) and you have 10 to 13% of niggas.

Thank you for the explanation!

You’re welcome! Any time!

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com and EBONY Magazine. And a founding editor for 1839. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • kingpinenut

    The post to end all posts D. Just made my fuggamukkin day lol

    *bellay laugh at Wrangla$$ jeans*

  • Sparger

    I’m sure more than a few of them thought it was funny. Shocked when he won.

  • wanderlust

    No recap of SNL??!?

    • Chris James

      I’m sure it’s coming

    • HouseOfBonnets

      That bad boy was lit lol

      • Maaaaaan…I haven’t watched it in YEARS.. I was geeked!!

      • wanderlust

        I haven’t laughed that hard in months. I laughed actual tears at the Election night sketch. It was spot on.

    • Val

      Am I the only one who finds SNL skits overwhelmingly unfunny? I thought Dave’s monologue was great though.

      • You didn’t like it?

        • -h.h.h.-

          Val’s funny palette is quite refined lol

          • Val

            Shade so early on a Monday morning?

            • -h.h.h.-

              i heard it was sunny and 75 over there, i’m just trying to make sure you dont get a sun burn

        • Val

          The skits were okay but I din;t laugh out loud. And a couple of them were creepy. The breastfeeding one and the bar scene.

          • Yeah the bar scene was GROSS! I wanted to barf!

            Sidebar- Why does Leslie Jones allow herself to be get done so dirty!! nd she just smiles! I HATE IT!

        • Brother Mouzone

          I replied to you last week about the black hispanic thing and Disqus ate my comment. You went off about some dots but that wasn’t me…it’s all good doe.

      • wanderlust

        Nope, you’re not. I don’t normally watch SNL. I do think the majority of the skits Saturday night were good. And when Tina Fey was still on and did Sarah Palin impressions.

        • Val

          Yeah, Tina Fey did kill with the Palin skits. Unfortunately it looks like she will be able to revive that impression.

      • The new ones are. They go on for far too long and don’t get to the point. I think Saturday’s for the most part were good though. Every now and then they’ll nail it. (Think the Beyonce Lemonade skit.)

        • miss t-lee

          See this is me. Every once in a while there’s a gem, but you have to dig through like 8 feet of sh*t to find it.

          • Yeah. The opening skit with Dave and Chris Rock was funny because it wasn’t funny. It’s funny in the way Nazis are funny.

            • miss t-lee

              Exactly.

              • The moment in that skit when they said something to the effect of “This is the worst thing America has done.” and Dave and Chris were like “Is it?” was black America breaking the fourth wall to white America.

                • miss t-lee

                  Yup. That was great.

          • Kas

            That is the history of SNL

            • miss t-lee

              Not always. I remember when it was much funnier. However, many of those folks are no longer with us.

              • Kas

                Cocaine mixed with heroin is a heck of a drug.

      • I agree with you. The skits weren’t that funny to me at all and Dave was messing up too. His monologue was better although wasn’t great either. The best part of the show to me was the news reporter section.

      • Amber

        No. You’re not alone. I liked Black Jeopardy this year with Hanks and that was about it. I think SNL made the debates unfunny. Watching the debates live and on twitter I found more humor than SNL recaps.

        • Val

          Yep, that skit was funny.

      • Brother Mouzone

        I dvr it and watched Sunday. Dave was okay, but like I said before, I haven’t really followed that show since the Waynes World dudes left. It’s just not that funny.

  • I have one question… is the negro in this photo shucking or jiving?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/490199e732380befb3cfb46a8ff112ac840a12d1db8b309853f1e797a29609f9.gif

  • “Because some n****s is stupid.” <———– These could have been the only words in the post.

    • kingpinenut

      ^^^ needs to be bumper stickers and flags

    • Damon Young

      seriously, i was considering making that the entire post

      • kingpinenut

        Feel free to edit and assume the sublime greatness that is yours

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Say man. Now that you’ve got that new gig, can you hook a brotha up with your bespoke discount???

      • Me and Moneypenny just broke it down to stupid ninjas, MRA’s activist types, and old black dudes who want women to stay in their place. Basically an a**hat Venn diagram

        • Val

          Don’t forget the Black respectability politics preachers.

          • I’m pretty sure most of them fall into one or more of the groups I mentioned.

            • miss t-lee

              Or all all three.

            • Wizznilliam

              I think the so called “prosperity preachers” deserve their own category. They have a lot of influence and basically for a lot of them Christian == Republican period. It don’t matter who they run or what they say.

          • FeeFee

            Burningbush/trueletterperson on Clutch.

            • Mary Burrell

              The lawn jockeys for sure.

          • hunterinthelandofthedead

            PLEASE don’t forget the Black respectability politics preachers like Ben Carson.

          • Blueberry01

            I swear that DT preacher – I can’t remember his name – grated my nerves everytime he defended Trump on a panel.

            • Ingridncalhoun

              Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !hw162c:
              On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
              !hw162c:
              ??
              ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash452ShopPositiveGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!hw162c:….,……..

        • Brother Mouzone

          And those “black” men who join in when they have confederate sh*t going on and claim to be all proud of their black “southern heritage”

        • Duff Soviet Union

          Where do hoteps fit in here? I guess they’re practically black MRA’s.

          • La Bandita

            Return of Kings. They use lots of words like they are kings etc.,

      • Charles Brown

        Damon Young, in block bold letters.

      • BMagee

        I seriously thought that was all I would read.

    • miss t-lee

      Could’ve just dropped the mic right there.

    • @bakari_pace

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8db7e10edb59ead67d4f00298cd03dc29e5dd23fa942098763296415bf78431.png

      I did not vote for Trump.

      Also, just because you disagree with someone does not mean they are stupid.

      • divadivine

        Thanks for the “but it wasn’t me!”…. #sideeye.

        Donald’s 2015 & 2016 behaviors notwithstanding, do you know the story of the Central Park 5? That you could sub in yourself, my brother… any black man wrongly accused? How the President-elect STILL wants those innocent men dead, if not as retribution for someone else’s suffering (that they didn’t cause, but still surely deserve), then as punishment for daring to not “stay in their place” and causing disruption (READ: demanding justice).

        Yeah. I disagree with that man and his supporters. And if a black man is among them today, he’s gotta stand there in that self-injuring STUPIDITY. That is the (minimal) cost for standing with white supremacy as a black man #ActLikeUncleRuckusWasRationale&Reasoned…RIGHT.

        • @bakari_pace

          Let me repeat, I did not vote for Trump.

          You do not have to agree with a candidate to believe that they are better their competition.

          • Kaitlin Rush

            But Trump wasn’t better than the competition. #stupidniggasayswha

      • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

        No, they’re not always dumb. They can also be racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, and many other terrible things.

        • maljazur

          Actually, I think they were called “stupid”, which is different from dumb. :)

          • Ms.

            BM are racist. And are bed wenches. That’s the reason.

        • jambalyabones

          But you’re usually wrong.

    • Blueberry01

      Period. And Done.

    • Ms.

      Nope, it’s because black men are bed wenches . black men voted for “their man”.

      • La Bandita

        Aye, mamasita don’t do this. Gay shaming is not going to help. What will help is if other Black men investigate truthfully the White nationalism behind the Black women hate of these groups of Black men

      • NYC90sSosa

        The majority of black men voted against Trump. Just sayin whatever can come out of your mouth huh?

  • Kudos for the Tyga shade.. that ni66a IS dumb as heII!

  • gronald

    One thing about these “X percent of (this group) voted for Y” is that they miss the denominator. My guess is that a lot of people who would have voted for Hillary (and decreased that %) stayed home, for whatever reason. Maybe the pro-Trump black men were more likely to vote? What difference does that make? Well, some people who stayed home in this election (and did not get counted) might have done something dumb, too. (or had their local polling place closed, or early voting curtailed, etc.)

  • ThatBlackBear

    In the 13% model, are you accounting for the 1 in 8 Black men who can not vote due to felony convictions? I just want to know how accurate a number we’re looking at.

    Also, what’s the percentage of dumba$$selfabusingfools who voted for Trump out of pure spite from the Bill Clinton years while somehow doing the mental hurdles it takes to think Trump wouldn’t do even worse that good ol’ incarceration Billy?

    • -h.h.h.-

      13% model is based off of exit polls, and since not everyone took the exit polls…it is what is is, at least 13% of black men is on ‘dumb @ss ni&&a s**t” along with the “we aint sh**” demoniator of 20-25%…i guess we fail *shrug*

    • Damon Young

      “In the 13% model, are you accounting for the 1 in 8 Black men who can not vote due to felony convictions?”

      Huh?

      • ThatBlackBear

        Bad joke.

        You grabbed the 13% number (Number of Dumb Black Men) from the 13% of Black men that voted for Trump. I was asking if that number would also account for the number of Black men convicted of felonies who couldn’t vote and therefore wouldn’t be included in that sample set. Does it go up or down? Is 13 just the sweet spot and 13% of felony having ninjas are fools too. I was asking for a deeper look into your case study and methodology for coming up with aint$hitness…It was a bad joke.

  • Adrienne_in_MTown

    “You still a ni**a in a coupe”

  • Sigma_Since 93

    Why are we acting surprised. At a minimum, we knew the following black men were voting for Trump:

    The posse of Black Pastors
    Armstrong Williams
    Ben Carson
    Clayton Bigsby
    Medgar Evans brother
    Silky Johnson
    J.C. Watts

    Some folks will always put party before common sense

    • Cybil the Cat.

      ” wash me and I shall be whiter than snow”

    • -h.h.h.-

      Former Oklahoma congressman J.C. Watts, who spent years trying to attract minorities to the Republican Party, said here Tuesday that he has serious reservations about presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump.

      http://newsok.com/article/5497241

      that being said, i dunno how he voted…can’t be shamed in the ballot booth

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Paul Ryan said the same thing…………we all know how he voted

        • Cybil the Cat.

          Didn’t one of them said he spoke to quickly when he condemned Trump. I am sure I read that somewhere.

      • Val

        Serious reservations? Lol That’s it?

    • I haven’t thought about Julius Caesar Watts in years.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        Probably since the time he pulled his hammy running wind sprints with the D.C. Football team.

        Didn’t he also get caught with his hands in a cookie jar that wasn’t Mrs. Watts cookie jar?

    • Cybil the Cat.

      With Carson as Education Secretary at least you shall know about the pyramids and stuff.

      • kingpinenut

        And white jesus

        • Sigma_Since 93

          Klingon Jesus

          • kingpinenut

            bortaS bIr jablu’DI’ reH QaQqu’ nay’.*

            *(Revenge is a dish best served cold )

            • Cybil the Cat.

              You didn’t have to nerd out on us,ijs.

              • kingpinenut

                Flashbacks are no joke. Pops watch Star Trek like it was life

                • Cybil the Cat.

                  PTSD?? Hehehe

              • anyanwu banda

                @kingpinenut:disqus absolutely had to. and we’re all richer for it.

    • Val

      And Hershel Walker.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I forgot about Sir Charles when I made my list

    • Larry Elder
      The Sheriff from Milwaukee

    • Charles Brown

      Don’t have a problem with Black conservatism, just have problem with endorsing white supremacy. You don’t give white supremacy a chance. Do you remember what happen to the Jews?

      • Mr. Mooggyy

        Lots of black people are conservative on certain issues (more than some would like to admit)! I agree with you on the endorsing white supremacy part. Like, How Sway?

      • Sigma_Since 93

        “Some folks will always put party before common sense”

        This is why folks looking at Dwight women with the side eye as we speak and many got the Kim K ugly cry face going on.

    • fedup

      And all them niccas runnin around with bleached or dyed red locs as well.

    • Ash

      Don’t forget POTUS’ brother.

    • You forgot Uncle Ruckus

    • Blueberry01

      Lol…not Clayton!

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