Who’s Winning: Jay-Z Or Joe Budden?

Along with being quite possibly the only place on Earth (well, the only place on Earth outside of prison) where you might able to purchase Kevin Hart DVDs, lobster rolls, sneakers, lightly-used cocaine, and insurance all in the same day, the barbershop is one of the few places that consistently manages to at least whelm. Perhaps you wont be overwhelmed, but you won’t be underwhelmed either. While other entities sometimes have a mystique that surpasses the experience, no one ever visits a popular Black barbershop for the first time and leaves thinking “That kinda sucked. Don’t know what the big deal was.”

This experience is largely due to the fact that the barbershop’s dynamic ensures that there will be a diverse group of men—students, garbagemen, drug dealers, teachers, lawyers, bloggers, etc—of all ages. And, when you sit a diverse group of men in the same general area—with no women around—conversations happen. Interesting conversations. Conversations that you may not be able to have anywhere else.

For instance, last week the discussion was centered around the new season of Love and Hip-Hop. And by “the new season of Love and Hip-Hop” I mean “Tahiry Jose’s religion-inducing ass.” For the uninitiated, Tahiry Jose is the ex-girlfriend of B-minus-list rapper Joe Budden. She was made internet famous a couple years ago when Budden would occasionally release mundane home videos of him and Tahiry doing things like “making dinner,” “arguing about soap,” and “sitting on chairs.” In each video, though, Tahiry’s, um, assets were the protagonist, antagonist, climax, rising action, and exposition, and this exposure led to her being featured in numerous Black magazines, several videos, and now Love and Hip-Hop.

Anyway, the conversation then segued to Joe Budden’s dating history. Now, despite the fact that I’m sure there will be a few of you who are hearing Joe Budden’s name right now for the first time ever, he has two very notable claims to fame in certain segments of the Black male population.

1. He’s one of the best mixtape/freestyle rappers ever. (And, to be clear, not freestyle in the “top of the dome” sense, but freestyle in the “spit 16 or 32 written bars over someone else’s hot beat while you’re in the studio on Shade 45″ sense)

2. His dating history.

From Esther Baxter and Gloria Velez to Yaris Sanchez and Tahiry Jose, Budden has been romantically linked to a dozen or so of the most famous (and unfortunately named) video vixens and internet models ever. While none of these women are household names, any male (Black, White, or Laker Fan) familiar with any of the popular urban magazines (King, XXL, Smooth, etc) definitely know who each of them are.

(There’s also a popular sub-conversation about Budden’s history that basically asks “How the hell is he able to bag all these sought after women?” There are a few theories—he makes great use of social media, he’s well-endowed, etc—but mine is a bit less flattering. I think the only difference between ***insert random rapper or ball-player*** and Joe Budden is that while ***insert random rapper or ball-player*** may sleep with these women on the low, Budden lets everyone know who he happens to be dating. Basically, for people in those circles, these women aren’t really sought after at all, and he just makes public what others are doing privately)

This knowledge prompted one of the patrons in the shop to remark “Budden is f*cking winning! Don’t no one have a badder batch of bitches than he does.” While I was appreciating the unexpected burst of alliteration, the entire shop predictably co-signed. Emboldened with confidence, he took it a step further.

“Shit, Jigga aint even f*cking with him right now.”

The utter audaciousness of that statement quieted the chorus of co-signs. One of the barbers made a face so stank it looked like buffalo just pissed in his beard. Undeterred, he continued.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beyonce is the baddest chick in the game and all that. But would you rather have Beyonce or a different Beyonce every month?”

Surprisingly, he was quickly and vehemently shot down. (I honestly was surprised how unanimously that particular population of men disagreed with him.) A statement made by one of the older barbers summed up the general sentiment.

“That’s your age talking, yo. Beyonce is a dimepiece worth a billion dollars. The point of the game is to end with the best chick possible and build something with her. Game over. End of discussion. You a f*cking fool if you think otherwise.”

Regardless of how you may personally feel about Beyonce, I’m assuming that the vast majority of the people reading this agree with the barber. While a revolving door of King cover girls may seem appealing, ultimately the best, the most mature, and the smartest thing to do would be to find one woman to build with, a woman who brings her own considerable goods to the table. In the game of life, Jay-Z is beating Budden so badly that they’re not even keeping score anymore.

But, if you remove Beyonce, Budden, Jay-Z, and the video vixens from the discussion, the conversation changes. If given the choice between A) meeting the person of your dreams and spending the rest of your life with that person or B) meeting, dating, sleeping with an assembly line of unfathomably attractive mates, which do you choose?

The “obvious” answer, the politically correct answer, and my answer are all the same: Finding the person of your dreams, and maintaining a good to great relationship with them is the easy choice. But, this choice isn’t so obvious to everyone. George Clooney, Derek Jeter, John Mayer, and, shit, Rihanna—all people who have the ability to date pretty much whoever they want and have been romantically linked with dozens of different extremely attractive mates—might argue that option B is better, and they’d each probably have a very convincing argument.

There’s still no doubt in my mind that when comparing a Jay-Z (a person who has met and married the “person of their dreams”) and a Budden (a person who meets and “greets” a different woman of a hundred thousand wet dreams every month), the Jay-z is definitely “winning.” But, I also have to admit that not every one plays the game the same way (or for the same purpose), and just because I think you’re playing wrong doesn’t mean you’re not “winning” too.

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

439 thoughts on “Who’s Winning: Jay-Z Or Joe Budden?

  1. I see exactly what you mean. I’m 25 and I believe in the whole find your true love and settle down happy ending. There is no point in chilling for a while then starting over, last time I checked you didn’t get wasted time back. But most of my family members including my older brother who is about to be 35 feels the opposite way (Buddens would be his hero). They feel like why settle down when there are so many women out there..all I see is a lot of headaches if you keep chasing..the more you roam the bigger chance you have of ending up somewhere you had no business being in the first place.

  2. Jay-Z > Budden. The aim of the game is to play it until you get to a certain age, then end up with the best possible woman you can. Jay-Z has won the game, Budden’s still playin it.
    -
    Me being the hopeless romantic I am, I want to find one person, grow and build with them, and have that be it. The idea of measures and measures of man meat at my disposal is nice and all…but at the end of the night, my bed is probably still gonna be empty if all the relationships with all those men are empty too.

  3. Jay-z….I’m sorry but there is no way in bloody he!l Joe wtf? is that Budden is winning for banging a bunch of bangable std h0es….those quote and quote “bad” chicks aint sh!t to be proud of attaining. Isn’t that their industry? To sleep with men with money and a little bit of status with hopes of getting chose? Hands down Jay- Z…..now he is #winning for all the reasons stated in the post and then some…

    • I have to agree that most of these women who are “bad” leave little to be desired. Although, that goes to show the diff. b/w men -who put value on a woman’s looks above all else- and women.

      • Maybe super hot looks alone is the best some men can aim for before a woman starts ranking out of his league. For instance, Michele Obama probably doesn’t even know who Budden is. Physically attractive video vixens (aka, the hot and unemployed) are probably the most impressive mates Budden will ever catch.

  4. I’m not big on monogamy, so I say why not have it all? Find your one true, emotional, romantic love, but if you see soneone you want to smang, smang um & & keep it moving!! #WINNING

  5. I haven’t been here in a while, and boy oh boy the look has changed! On to the topic at hand… After watching an episode of Louis C.K. where he discussed love and dating where the best case scenario is that you meet someone and are happy with them until they die and leave you miserable, I’m a bit on the fence. I believe you have to do what work for you at the time. While no one should want to be that over the hill dude at the club, there is a spike in the 65+ crowd after people start dying. Maybe a combo of A and B over the course of life is best.

    • After watching an episode of Louis C.K. where he discussed love and dating where the best case scenario is that you meet someone and are happy with them until they die and leave you miserable, I’m a bit on the fence.

      i saw that bit too. louie has a way of distilling things down to the miserablest core possible, lol

  6. “If given the choice between A) meeting the person of your dreams and spending the rest of your life with that person or B) meeting, dating, sleeping with an assembly line of unfathomably attractive mates, which do you choose?”
    .
    It’s heartwarming to hear a man, in the context of a barber shop no less, argue for monogamy in some form or fashion, but you omitted C) meeting the person of your dreams and spending the rest of your life with that person *plus* having access to an assembly line of unfathomably attractive mates without getting penalized for it.

      • Oh, and RWC, you’re only partially right. According to this link I found in a few minutes on Google, Tahiry Jose has a 43 inch hip measurement, which IIRC is actually dead average for a Black woman in the USA. (Thank you apparel industry for those numbers.) The diff is that a) she’s FIVE foot 2 (not 4 foot 2 as you allege) and b) she has a 26 inch waist, which is significantly smaller than the average woman.
        _
        Boss. *Rick Ross grunt*

      • And home girl in the pic probably has the same sized butt as most women, except she’s 4 foot 2. #amihatin

        it’s not so much the size of the ass that’s key, but the ass to waist ratio

    • lol. im gonna sound so heartless, but….my line of thinking is so logic based i thought if i could line up a mans friends or the second and third string dudes on our team…it would be people id sleep with in the event my husband died.

      • This “honesty” doesn’t make you heartless, but it does make you the female Lance Armstrong with all your previous depression-filled comments about being a hopeless romantic that feels entitled to have a Man do and feel everything to benefit You, rather than you also coming with anything of value to a relationship.
        THIS contradicts so much of what you said in the past, including trying to guilt trip or pull the sanctimonious and BS-laced insults when people were tying to be h0nest with their own opinions and attempts to “reach out”.

        • yes. lance armstrong in all of his training, accolades and accomplishments, smart career decisions and ensuring he had the best team at all times….NEVER experienced an actual depression during his worst bouts with physical illness. why yes. what could he *possibly* be sad about. a slow, painful death just doesnt hit the emotions because go figure, hes a sh*tty person for doing what he had to in order to make it.

          thats how you feel about me? lol. telling on yourself. so, tell me. what would YOU do in the event the very joy to your soul, the figurehead of a billion dollar empire….died?

          but let me not pretend i didnt say that because i wish my man WOULD commit adultery. i absolutely dare him. #teamwhoopsandimnottrippin

          • Oooohhhh women that talk like that make me laugh every time… I wish a woman would have the audacity to think she’s gonna do anything physical to me if she finds out I’m sleeping with another woman. LOL!!!

            • You must not know that women have the potential to be crazy given the right circumstances…ALL of us. So to think that you couldn’t get got…is a recipe to get got.
              Let us know how the recovery goes once your girl goes all Snapped if you ever cheat. Lol.
              Youth is wasted on the young.

          • And it was Perfectly A-Ok to ruin the lives and reputations of people who knew or had suspicions from Day One that he was juicing in the early 90′s, and that he even filed lawsuits against them because they “lied” on him, kinda like Newt Gingrich leading the charge to impeach Bill Clintion over a few blowjobs while he HIMSELF was having an affiair on his 1st ex-wife with his 2nd ex-wife….

            I call it like I see and hear it, that’s all there is to it

            • *shrugs* the purpose of calling someone out is to sully everything they stand for so someone who is admittingly a supporter of his girlfriends fetus killings has no grounds to call me on something i vehemently add as a disclaimer. youre being a nuisance because thats all you will ever amount to. but youre right. i am filled with depression and i am a hopeless romantic and i will still plot the demise of the man i love if he ever stepped out of bounds. you say im crazy? i GOT your crazy.
              youre like the dude who goes on an open house to a mansion in the hills and then tries to bs his way through not being able to afford it ever in his lifetime. ‘uuuuuh, this is BRAZILIAN hardwood and not uh….the regular uh…absolutely horrid.’ talking bout im entitled. if you wanna take care of me just say you wanna take care of me. embarrassed behind.

              • Slow your Roll there- 1st I’ve Never said a thing about an ex-GF having an abortion on here, so you got me confused with somebody else; 2nd Yes, I amd Pro-Choice but I DO NOT Like Abortions (Yes, there IS a Difference. People should just come out and say they are ANTI-Choice rather than claiming Pro-Life).

                I wouldn’t piss or spit on you if you were on fire, and I live within my means and have $$$$$ Saved, not splurging like Most. I Comment on what YOU Say and on the topics that are posted, not YOU as an Individual b/c I Don’t Know You. Grow the F Up and get some Damn Help instead of trying to thorw some weak ass pebbles-worth of insults, Little Girl

                • lol. youre a loser who keeps trying to talk to me and doesnt get the ‘you bring more gloom to my already gloomy atmosphere’ vibe. stop talking to me and there wouldnt be a roll to slow.

          • this is fairly tangential…but what accolades and accomplishments? weren’t they all taken away when the rest of his teammates put him on blast? I’ll wait for Oprah to explain it to me, I guess…

            • thats the craziest isht ive ever heard in my life. his mistakes do not negate the time and effort and commitment he put into earning those titles. simply taking a drug does not condition you to do the feats he did when he had an illness that was eating him alive. i imagine considering how much of a drain it put on him he probably *needed* the boost. its not like this was a dude who was 100% taking performance enhancers. this was a dude in his darkest hour and an athlete taking performance enhancers and still putting in the work so that he could reach his goals. if i were him i woulda went a ‘f*ck you’ spree too. calling me out when your dirt is dirtier than mine. people like this are honest to god leeches. go sit the f*ck down and leave me alone. youre like the obnoxious peasant that ruins the one good day out of the entire year of f*cked up days. “man i thought you were sad whatchu mean youll sleep with ALL my friends if i cheat on you therefore making it a consequence of my own decision making.”

              but ima chill. i was attempting to have a good day.

              • Simmer down please. How do you know he wasn’t 100% taking them? He’s been accused of taking them since Day One. Since BEFORE he had the cancer. So what excuses does he have then? You’re making a lot of assumptions for someone who doesn’t know Lance personally. And imagining all the drain his illness took from him, he probably NEEDED to not reenter competitive sports. Get out of here with that mess.

                Did I say he wasn’t an impressive athlete? No. If I take enhancers now I wouldn’t magically become the best cyclist in the world. I just asked an obvious question – he was stripped of all his titles and sponsorships, so what accolades does he have. A cancer survivor? There’s a lot of those – and not all of them are good people either. He’s even been forced to remove his affiliation from the cancer foundation that he’s so famous for.

                You want to defend him, that’s on you. I personally don’t care about PEDs in cycling. What I do care about is that instead of keeping mum like he should have, he flexed and threatened to sue people for slander and libel, knowing full well that they were telling the truth. Was that his darkest hour then, too? C’mon.

                We need to stop taking up arms for people who don’t know us from Adam.

                Your tendency to exaggerate really gives me pause.

                  • I’m just confused as to why she reacted so harshly. I really was just asking an innocent question. I didn’t comment on him personally. I’m just saying, if I won a trophy and they took it away, I don’t still have a trophy, do I? *shrugs*

                    • Girl, she’s cray cray. Seriously. The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be :-)

                    • i reacted that harshly because i was FINALLY having a good day and it was a stupid, pointless thing to say. “i just wanted to take this small moment of peace you have and remind you that sh*t sucks.” didnt i tell you to shut the f*ck up. i wasnt even reacting like that to YOU shamira you happened to walk in after someone else pissed me off and i didnt feel like pulling the energy. i genuinely was trying to answer your question but it was personal. and just because someone takes away the tangible trophy or the titles they dont take away what he represents as a person and who he is as a person and what he did as a person. but what they do is shame him as a person because he made a mistake theyll never understand. its offensive and its ridiculous it happened to him.

                    • “i just wanted to take this small moment of peace you have and remind you that sh*t sucks”

                      ….what?! girl, bye.

                      ” just because someone takes away the tangible trophy or the titles they dont take away what he represents as a person and who he is as a person and what he did as a person.”

                      Oh really? Ask Joe Paterno’s family how it’s been for them since Sandusky-gate.

                      If I hit some personal chord for you, I’m sorry. But you really nonsensically popped off. It’s a valid question considering the discussion and you took it all the way left for no easily discernible reason.

                      But to say its offensive to call out someone who 1) lied 2) continued to lie when he was being aired out. 3) had the cojones to threaten to clap back against the people who told the truth against him, is absolutely absurd. I’m not even saying he’s a bad guy, more than likely he was just a victim of his own hubris as most athletes are. But you need to chill with this beyond reproach tack youre taking — or at least detach it from whatever personal experience you’re affiliating it with.

                    • like i said. i was answering your question without pulling my energy. and i wont pull my energy when youre dumb enough to walk right into it. what they did to paterno was just as wrong and uncalled for and he shouldve slammed into everyone who dragged his name through the mud.

                • and what struggle do you know that even makes it plausible for you to come out your mouth like that. simmer down? no one invited you to have an opinion on the matter. losers dont understand the concept of not dying on the rise to greatness nor will they ever know the hardship nor will they ever care about the impact silly accusations have on a persons ability to get through something as peacefully as possible. even if he was drugging. so the f*ck what. even if he was on enhancers. so the f*ck what. with your fake a*s knowledge of wrath. if you dont like it dont step up here. while youre sitting there throwing the dude under the bus you have no idea what hes going through from his own perspective. you dont know him either nor do you understand his position nor will you ever be good enough to be in it. i do believe its lazy to formulate an opinion based off the opinion of others. isnt that so?

                  • What. Are. You. Talking. About. Like, seriously….

                    Why are you telling me that I don’t know him? Girl, YOU don’t either. I framed my perspective based on FACTS. Not opinion, FACTS. The fact that you choose to dismiss them is your problem, not mine. They’re not silly accusations if they’re true. Jesus Christ.

                    I asked you to simmer down because I asked a basic as f*ck question and popped off like I said something about your momma. Lance is not your family. Why are you so pressed?!

                    If you don’t like when people ask basic questions, then why are you in the comments section?

                    I didn’t throw anyone under the bus. Did I demand his arrest or impeachment or something? In fact, I even SAID I don’t care about PEDs in cycling. I repeat, I asked what accolades he in fact had when he was forced to forfeit them. Your flawed reading comprehension turned that into an attack on his personhood. Not my fault no one taught you critical reading.

                    Chillax, d*mn.

                    You say I’m a loser, I say I’m fabulous. *does Kenya Moore twirl*

                    • i wasnt referring to you. youre not seperating my annoyance with someone else from the conversation im attempting to have with you when im clearly pissed off. honestly, that was a very basic and innocent question but i was already fuming when i attempted to answer it so it sounded like i was yelling at YOU. i wasnt.

      • Option A is my choice. I believe that Option C is the choice of many. I’m shocked that Option C was not mentioned in the barber shop convo.

        • You know option C gets no love because an open relationship means that the man AND woman get to have other sexual partners. And we know how most men just aren’t comfortable with the idea of their girl getting her world rocked by another man.

          But they’ll be alright…. lol

          • You’d be surprised. My experience: men worry more about “other men’s kids” than about whether “Ms. Ting” is handing out forkfuls of pie to randoms. I’ve seen this with my own eyes, the guys who have *no* problem with their wives getting their tubes tied (or getting the snip) after Kid No. 3 because it makes a slip-up in fidelity just that, a “slip-up”.

            Then again, most of those guys were patients of mine when I was still AD. There were plenty of dudes who would hear that the OB doc did a combined Caesarean/tube tie and just start grinning. That way, if their wives were hanging out downtown during their deployments and had a “I slipped, fell and landed on his dick” moment, they didn’t have to worry about an extra mouth to feed. Besides, their egos would lead them to think that “Jody” couldn’t put it down as bad as them.

  7. what a fun topic!! [*talks about AAALL the men id sleep with*]

    lol sike. but seriously though, being a certified dime worth a billion dollars is kind of the goal. i think thats like. THE goal. smh @ jayz’s clique though. beyonce, kanye, kim kardashian. REALLY??? f*ck playing the field im tryna marry a bad a*s. we needa roll *like that*. MY dude needs to be more epic than a microsoft/facebook business deal cuz THAT isht is exciting.

    id rather have one mate and shoot for the stars. i think jayz’s winning, clearly, even though he loses for his verse on that new jt song but i think he mighta did it cuz that sound is the new trend in music. i heard destinys childs new song yesterday it sounds similar mood wise. like, if you were on a road trip and it was night and you needed a smooth record. they have that sound.

    but i digress. joe budden has mastered the art of being a single man and hes got his own little pocket. jayz has mastered the art of marriage and legacy. you can *kinda* compare the two but not really. joe budden want even amount to jayz’s failures. i mean…

    • -joe budden has mastered the art of being a single man and hes got his own little pocket. jayz has mastered the art of marriage and legacy-

      Agree 100%

      • yeah, but it has a distinct sound to it so i thought maybe it was a step towards a new direction so it sounds rough. maybe the sound will improve over time because justin doesnt have wack albums. and besides, the album ‘one in a million’ has HORRIBLE songs but then ‘aaliyah’ had a mastery of the sound/production direction and was a straight through listen.

      • I dont think the song sucks. It think its good, but not great or anything. I definitely don’t think that this is going to be his first single or anything. Just something to whet our appetites. I do agree with you that Jay-Z’s verse is useless – but when was the last time Jay-Z DIDNT have a useless verse on an R&B/soul-themed track? *shrugs*

        The biggest takeaway from that track, to me, was that Timbo’s back. I really enjoyed the production on the beat. It’s been a while since Timbo’s did anything fresh that I enjoyed, and it made me worried when I heard he was doing JT’s whole album. But my fears are assuaged, for now.

  8. Jay > Buddens as it relates to the question at hand. However, I do know Jay knew better to respond to some of the sly disses Buddens shot at him. That might have been another battle that Jay would have lost. Of course Jay is winning the war but still Buddens would have gave Jay the business.

  9. “But, this choice isn’t so obvious to everyone. George Clooney, Derek Jeter, John Mayer, and, shit, Rihanna…”

    -

    You have to put Taylor Swift at the front of that list. That bad postured woman changes partners more than any other celeb, bar none. Yet surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, considering she’s White, she seems to get a pass. Which Rihanna doesn’t, even though Rihanna really hasn’t dated that many guys. I can only think of two in the last few years.

  10. Jay. Because Jay was doin what Buddens is doing now before finding Bey. Even outside of that I’d still prefer to be Jay because finding someone that you enjoy spending your life with if way better than flings with a range of personalities that peak at “I find you tolerable” but the floor is “I ABSOLUTELY LOATH THIS SECTION OF MY LIFE WHERE I’M WITH THIS PERSON”. Jeter and Buddens on the same level is blasphemous. Only a Laker fan would say something that offensive.

    • LOL @ Jeter and Buddens. Jeter might hump some of these same hoochies on the low, but notice that the women that end up in his luxury suite at Yankee Stadium are higher on the totem pole.

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