Lists, Theory & Essay

Who I’m Iz In 5 Karakters Or Less…

1330010904_35icj4It’s Friday. And on Friday at VSB we try to have a little bit of fun around here. Well, a few days ago I made a few references to the movie Class Act which starred Kid and Play. I’ve long been associated with Kid. I always get told that I look like him, which I’m totally on the fence about. But real talk, I can totally associate with Kid’s character in the House Party movies. I didn’t have an overbearing comedian father who died and went to heaven in part two of my life story, but we are both lightskint.

Well, this got me to thinking, what five characters in movies or television shows, or whatever, would encompass the greatness that is Panama Jackson. And there’s a lot of greatness here to encompass.

So here’s my shot at picking characters that I think would best make up moi, Panama Dontavious Jackson.

1. Harper Stewart (The Best Man)

Minus admitting to be a b*tch a**, Harp was an ole writing arse ninja who put too much of his business out there for world consumption and paid for it dearly.  He almost got thrown from a roof. That’s never happened to me as I’m not Vanilla Ice (even if it is a myth I find it hilarious), but the writing and putting it all out there is similar. I’ll take the Oprah shoutout but you know she ain’t caaaaaaallll me? Anyway, Harp’s on my list.

2. Andre “Dre” Ellis (Brown Sugar)

I promise I won’t make this a Taye Diggs-a-thon. But Dre was the hiphop dude who got caught up in trying to keep it real while trying to keep it profitable. Hello, VSB? Constant struggle. Granted, I feel like his hiphop knowledge was a bit fugazi and mine is extensive as a ninja rocking Extenze with a Swedish penis pump, but thats just splitting hairs.

3. Preston Meyers (Can’t Hardly Wait)

I was the quintessential guy everybody knew who was pining away for the girl who had no clue I existed back in high school. Though thats not completely true. I had a girlfriend. I just shouldn’t have. But I did have a crush on a girl back then. And she ain’t care. But I was a cool kid and everybody knew me. The stoners loved my theories. The skaters loved my wheels. The black folks were my friends and the white folks respected my intellect. I was cooler than you. Word to the guy who sings that song.

4. Steve Urkel (Family Matters)

Hopeless romantic with a good heart extraordinaire. And the killer glasses and suspenders set. Not in 2013. But in 1995? Awwww…that’s me.

5. Will Smith (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

I was never really a Theo. I was more Will. But Will who applied himself in class and school. But even now. I’m cool as a fan but goofy as all get out. Goofy in the…well I don’t know how to describe it fully, I just know that in my own estimation, I feel like i matchup well with Will Smith from the Fresh Prince. I could be lying to myself, but now I’m lying to you all too.

So those are 5 characters that I feel help make up the essence of Panama Jackson. Who makes up the essence of you? And why? Share with us like you are Brother Numpsey.

It’s Friday. Happy weekending.

Somebody’s birthday is Monday.


Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at

  • SweetSass

    I think the cast of Living Single each represents a part of my personality.

    • SweetSass

      I’d add…

      Huey from Boondocks. Because I am all about fighting the Man. And I grew up in the burbs.

      Michonne from Walking Dead. I have an inner badass. Let’s us only hope you never see her.

      Lafayette from True Blood. I think I was a gay man in my last lifetime… and I also come up with awesome one liners in conversation, I’ve been told.

      Elaine from Seinfeld. I have my neurotic moments.

      Cece from Awkward Black Girl. I am that type of friend, a cheerleader.

      Betty from Ugly Betty. I have a heart of gold and loads of ambition but I’m not much into makeovers, heels, make up, and fashion. Shrug.

      My sense of humor is very similar to that of Margaret Cho.

      • Aly

        Nice list, SS!

        • SweetSass


  • Afropetite

    Big Mama (The Fox and the Hound)-
    Apparently I’m the go to person for advice and listening when my friends want an honest opinion or just an ear to vent to. I keep it 300 hunnid and I’m there for encouragement when needed :-)

    Sebastian (The Little Mermaid) –
    I’m generally over analytical about everything. I constantly worry and fret over the smallest issues.

    Evelyn (The Mummy)-
    I’m really passionate about my love for the human body and the science behind it. Evelyn reminds me of myself and how I can go into full nerd mode when someone brings up anything about medicine, HIIT, etc.

    Mia (The Best Man) –
    *Britney Spears voice* I’m not that innocent. Do not cross me. I have the uncanny tendency to be petty and vindictive if pushed to be. I’ll be that and keep a smile on my face while serving you with Southern charm.

    She embodies the side of me that hasn’t a qualm to give. Country, cornbread fed, aggressive at times and submissive when it suits me.

    • Afropetite

      I’m sorry why am I in moderation?! Is it for my F-bomb for yesterday? I promised to be good :-(

      • Val

        Is this your first time in moderation miss? Would you like a attorney?

        • camilleblu


        • Afropetite

          Yes! Give me free!

          • Malik

            Django didn’t die for your sins.

      • Sahel


      • SweetSass


  • LORD. Why do people always compare us light skinnededededed brothas to Kid from Kid N Play?!

    • SweetSass

      I don’t think you look like him at all. However, have you seen Panama’s face. He is a dead ringer. They have the same bug eyes, the same nose. It’s uncanny. But the skin tone is slightly differenet. PJack is darker.

      But you are a soulless ginger. I am also biracial. I am jealous of the biracial kids who came out with red or light brown hair or light eyes.

  • Val

    • Val


      • SweetSass


      • SweetSass


      • mena


  • Rewind

    Characters that define me:

    1) Chuck from Rugrats – big wuss & worry wart but comes through in a clutch for the homies
    2) Tommy Pickles from Rugrats – the leader, the adventurer
    3) Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life – just trying to make it but everybody keeps testing my cool….and I always wanted a dog named Spunky
    4) Doug from Doug – Doug is everything I was as a teenager and still am as an adult; awkward, out of place, but never giving up on what I want.
    5) Vegeta from DBZ – angry, arrogant and assuming the world owes me something.
    6) Terry McGennis from Batman Beyond – I’m normal but I know I’m meant to be something greater.

    • Tes

      But…but…you can’t be Tommy and Chucky though! That throws off the dynamic and sh*t >___<

  • h.h.h.

    hm. who i’m iz…well…i guess there are 5 that i share certain personality features with

    5. Peter Parker/Spiderman – a wiseguy doing what he thinks is right…out of all the superheroes, he’s probably one of the more realer men in tights

    4. Urahara Kisuke (Bleach) – in his own words, “simply a mere perverted businessman”…one of the strongest characters of the comic, knows way more than he lets on, but lets the main character get the shine

    3. Trowa Barton (Gundam Wing)- a stoic young man ,reserved by nature, he can be seen to be as emotionless, but is in fact a warm-hearted person who is very protective of those he cares about.

    2. Vader (2a. – Zero – Code Geass) – bad guys for a reason.

    1. Clark Kent/Superman – he’s not my favorite comic book superhero, but i can relate with the bumbling side of him, and his realization that he’s in a cardboard world.

    • esa

      you have a cute Clark Kent thing goinn for youu ~

      • h.h.h.

        aww gee tha

        *trips over his feet*


    • Rewind

      Kisuke is THE SH*T…I just wish him & Yourichi would just get their own damn series, for nothing but laughs sake

      • In my mind they are married for ever ever.

    • I dunno man…Zero wasn’t actually a bad guy…just cold, calculating and conniving.

      • h.h.h.

        well, to be more accurate….Zero/Lelouch was bad for a purpose…but you’re right, he wasn’t inherently evil..and i think the same can be said for Vader…from what i’ve seen, Anakin wasn’t inherently evil, but he wanted to use the bad for a greater good…if that makes sense…he just couldn’t ‘get out’ tho.

  • Asiyah

    I think the only character I am similar to is Daria from MTV. Sarcastic, acerbic, witty, unconventional, indifferent towards social norms, a fish out of water. That’s me I guess.

    • Afropetite

      I loved her!

      • Asiyah

        Me tooooo! and I loved that she didn’t fall for the popular guy in school like all those 80s movies.

    • Aly

      I had no idea that show was so popular… you’re like the 5th person to mention it.

      • Asiyah

        I know I’m starting to feel all good and ish like I’m part of a club lol

    • Rewind

      Amazon Prime has every season of Daria available.

      Who’s doing a marathon with me?

      • Asiyah

        YES! I’ll wear my glasses!

        • Rewind

          We also have to form a band called Sick Sad News.

      • Val

        Amazon Prime? Geez, another netflix/ hulu type thing? Who knew.

  • Oooh ooh I wanna play!

    1) Callie Torres from Grey’s Anatomy – really gregarious, but actually super self conscious, a little sardonic, deceptively scatterbrained but really good at what I do.

    2)Buffy the Vampire Slayer – similar to Callie, of course, but all really emotionally closed off because of various experiences that people can empathize with but never really understand, and a little bit of a mutant for that very reason

    3)Monica Wright in love and basketball – (former) tomboy, kind of clueless at the whole boy thing, but slowly figuring it out.

    4) Echo in Dollhouse – my skillset at times can be too well-rounded for my own good, occasionally leaving me at a loss to my ultimate identity (can you tell I’m a Joss Whedon fan?)

    5) Winston Smith from 1984 – having the constant feeling that something is deeply , maybe irrevocably wrong with our system, without the least clue what the recourse is beyond my own small measures of rebellion. But don’t worry, 2+2 still equals 4 :-D

    • mena

      Dakota did Callie all types of wrong. I didn’t like her much anyway.

      • LISTEN….

        This is a little bit callous but I wanted to shake her and yell “you still mad about that leg?! godd*mn!”

        Callie is too good for her. She’s out here putting Jergen’s on your nub and ish, meanwhile you’re still mad she saved your life. Go to therapy and get over it.

        *end rant*

        • mena

          I was reading your comment and listening to my boss talk and just giggled.

          Ma’am, her and that leg need to stop. She chopped off your leg to save your life. Let Callie live. Bye Dakota. BYE!

        • Tes

          She needs to let that damn leg go. That heaux she slept with wasn’t there with her crashin in the airplane neither, but who held her down and raised their child as a single parent for awhile? Callie!

          Poor Callie. She just keep getting cheated on with perky blonde bishes…

    • Asiyah

      Winston could get it.

  • Happy Friday all. A rare glimpse into Mr. SoBo.

    In my younger days,… Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) – Yeah, that was me, minus the katana blades. Independent. Determined. Obedient. Cool headed, but not quite ‘cool’ enough where it counted. Sort of a ‘square’. But disciplined as all hell and most importantly, respected by his peers. Confident yet shy which was the mark of my youthful charisma.

    In my adult years… Quentin (The Best Man) -Yep…that’s who this young Leonardo evolved into. ‘Quentin’ from the got dang “Best Man”. Still very much independent, but no longer as disciplined. Cool (now where it counts). Calm. Collected. And with more charm than a gypsy’s hips. Nowhere as predictable, but instead more enigmatic than anything. Charismatic would be an understatement…Enchanting is more fitting. Self assured with a hint of arrogance and a dash of I-don’t-give a-fcukums.

    This concludes the rare glimpse into the man you all know (or don’t know) as Mr. SoBo.

  • Abracadabra. Comment, appear.

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