Sad to say, but a lot of you ninjas don’t know how to act. I’d love to say that’s an opinion, but really, that is more factual than anything you’ll find on Wikipedia. Well, it seems that some locales in New York City have come to realize this very fact, namely, Chuck E. Cheese. To wit:
Harlem’s Chuck E. Cheese is now a maximum-security play penitentiary.
As they enter the arcade and pizza parlor “where a kid can be a kid,” parents and their young children are given a list of prohibitions more stringent than Rikers Island’s.
“No gang-style apparel, including but not limited to hats, shirts, buckles, bandanas, towels,” reads an enormous sign installed last month.
“No gang-type conduct or behavior, including verbal slogans, greetings, hand signs or intimidation. No weapons or tools or any sort whatsoever; including knives, chains, screwdrivers, glass cutters.”
By comparison, visitors to Rikers Island are not banned from wearing gang colors, but skimpy or “see-through” garments are prohibited.
Oh, the places we will go. Of course, I’d love to call racism (it is, I mean it’s only the Harlem branch), but I’ve been to the Magic Johnson’s theater in Harlem when folks started acting a damn fool on some gangbanger stuff. Not to mention the Applebee’s in Bed-Stuy on Fulton that required me to remove my hat as it could be construed as a gang-symbol. Or the Ruby Tuesday’s here in DC that doesn’t sell dark liquor since that’s what usually incites ninjas to act like, well, ninjas. They do still serve light liquor though.
Common sense be damned.
Either way, I figure for the sake of argument that you know what, there are some places where rules are necessary because face it, we all have family members who just don’t know how to act. And some ninjas just can’t HELP but be ignant. I’m convinced it’s a gene. So I brainstormed some other places some ninjas just shouldn’t be able to go unless rules are instated. Follow me.
1. Church
You remember the scene from Colors where the Crips shot up the funeral where a Blood was being buried? You can’t stop that, but you can stop all the insane church hats that impede the view of anybody sitting behind Sister Bigdo and her hat garden. Or pimp attire. I’m looking at you Creflo. And the jheri curl. If we outlawed the jheri curl, how many church slip-and-falls (outside of the Pentecostal church, ain’t no stopping those) could be avoided? It might put GEICO out of business. Oh, and God too.
2. Bank
If banks instituted a no-ghetto-attitude policy (only banks located in the hood), do you realize how much faster you’d get your money? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been waiting in line behind some woman who is convinced that the bank is stealing her money and then the neck-snap and roll comes followed by a loudcapping and security guards inching closer to my locale.
3. Place you pay your cable/power bill
You already know we don’t like paying the bill. Folks walk in ready to light them b*tches on fire. But what if you required all people inside to read like, O Magazine, or something, or Purpose Drive Life while waiting in line (lines long enough to finish the whole book), the world might be a better place. Heal the world people.
4. Grocery store
If you forget an item and your ass is paying, consider that item official Black history. No “oh, I forgot my pickled pickles and toe jam, I’ll be right back.” You know you don’t know what aisle that’s in and now I have to wait on your slow, bumbaclot ass to return ONLY to pull out coupons and coins. Die.
Whew. Had to get that one off my chest.
I’ll stop there. Good people of the VSB fiefdom, what are some other places ninjas shouldn’t be able to go unless there are rules in order to maintain peace and order?
Ta ta now, we’re (mostly) all Black here. Speak on it.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
5. Public School
How many times must Rayray’s or Laquanikana’s mom come in there lookin’ like &^^#^%&.\? Tatoos on the breast (especially the eye tatoos), booty saggin’ out, or head wrapped up smelling like cigarettes and vanilla body spray. Mom is ready to fight the teacher or another student, cuss, and move some office furniture over some bs.
6. Evening News
Is it just me or do the reporters always find a way to get the most ignant ninja to tell what happened?
@Ivyette,
“6. Evening News Is it just me or do the reporters always find a way to get the most ignant ninja to tell what happened?”
In school, I shot a lot of news packages and my instructor who was an Emmy-Award winning Videographer always taught us to NOT ROLL CAMERA when reporters or field producers try to put the most negative, poor-spoken person on. Don’t even record it. Use your own judgement and find someone who will decently represent for the community on camera.
I wish more news camera operators would’ve gotten that memo.
@Monk, I wish more news camera operators would’ve gotten that memo.
Do I dare to dream? It seems as if most news have extra special radar to find the village idiot/drunk/neck roller/ gold toof wearin’ mugg to interview.
@Ivyette,
I definitely think that Black people in those situations need to speak up and control what they put out there. If it’s the news, just make it be “the news” without trying to sensationalize it with the extremes.
@Ivyette, you mean like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM7CL-Vyo1U
Damn shame *hangs head low*
@Ivyette, they get the person with the most missing teeth, the dirtiest clothes and the one who knows nothing about the occurrence but just wants to put their 2ceants in.
*cents
@MsQuiMarie, they get the person with the most missing teeth, the dirtiest clothes and the one who knows nothing about the occurrence but just wants to put their 2 cents in.
It’s so interesting to see how some people look….you would never think that some people you see on television really really exist in the world….or live down the street from you. LOL
@Ivyette,
You have to consider the fact that everybody doesn’t rush out of their home camera-ready and all made up. As I said though, it’s a fact that some reporters and field producers will seek the absolute “worst” individual to present on TV for the sake of getting the “real” story when it’s not necessarily the organic story which should be portrayed.
@Ivyette,
“How many times must Rayray’s or Laquanikana’s mom come in there lookin’ like &^^#^%&.\? Tatoos on the breast (especially the eye tatoos), booty saggin’ out, or head wrapped up smelling like cigarettes and vanilla body spray.”
I am slowly dying on the inside and I just dribbled a bit of coffee out of my mouth! LOL I have countless stories from friends who are teachers who tell me similar tales. Oh ninjas….
@Ivyette, Public Schools? THIS!!!
@Ms. Smart,
Giiiiirl…and that BS goes down on a good day.
@Ivyette,
Oh I’ve got some stories for you…
@Ivyette, How many times must Rayray’s or Laquanikana’s mom come in there lookin’ like &^^#^%&.\? Tatoos on the breast (especially the eye tatoos), booty saggin’ out, or head wrapped up smelling like cigarettes and vanilla body spray. Mom is ready to fight the teacher or another student, cuss, and move some office furniture over some bs.
you know my cousin, Boomshakalaka?????
@Panama Jackson,
“you know my cousin, Boomshakalaka?????”
Yep and your aunt Sexalaysia. Your family is quite creative (crazy) when naming off spring.
@Ivyette & Monk, there was a shooting in Compton the other day, and they get eyewitness accounts. Why could they not leave this one toothless wonder out the mix? I didn’t disagree with her overall words, but she had these glassy frog eyes with Coke bottle glasses, her front teeth looked like the hillbilly false fronts you get from a gumball machine, and they had to pixelate her mouth twice from cussin’! How could the guy in the newsvan not have been laughing when splicing the tape?
You think I’m lying, see for yourself:
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/video?id=7319653
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
That’s EXACTLY my point. She’s “good TV”, but really? I mean REALLY?? That shyt takes away from the “real” story.
@Ivyette,
Word! It’s like Ollie from Family Guy….gotta love racists cartoons!!!!!
5. Public School
How many times must Rayray’s or Laquanikana’s mom come in there lookin’ like &^^#^%&.\? Tatoos on the breast (especially the eye tatoos), booty saggin’ out, or head wrapped up smelling like cigarettes and vanilla body spray. Mom is ready to fight the teacher or another student, cuss, and move some office furniture over some bs.”
Sounds like something a sheltered, rich,white dude would say. Really.
Reeks of elitism. It is what it is.
I know some of us get disgusted with Black folks who have less (education, cash, etc.) than others and fulfill a certain stereotype, but was that comment necessary?
YOUR JOB OR PLACE OF BUSINESS!
I had an ex pick me up from work once when my car was in the shop,
he pulled up with the XXX gangsta rap blaring, when he opened the car the marijuana smoke filled the air, he actually gave me a head nod when he saw me exiting the building, went around to the trunk, stripped of his shirt and tossed in the trunk, and opened my door in his wife beater! When I got in the car he proceeded to try and tongue me down in front of my job! I could see the crazy stares through the glass windows. Told everyone at work we broke up when asked about him, even though I kept seeing him for 6 more months….
Rules:
1 If you are ghetto or ghetto fab please stay in the car.
2. Please don’t smoke trees on the way to pick me up.
3. Turn the radio off when you hit the corner of my building.
4. A sweet little peck on the lips will do…save the heavy kissing and petting for another time.
5. Leave your shirt on until we are at least 4-5 miles from my place of employment.
@WonderWoman,
U surely know how to pick them. LMAO
@TheHallway/TheSunk, I did didn’t I? My tastes have greatly improved….Thank God!
@WonderWoman,
giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl, a mess. and yet, i think i used to date him too.
@charli skipper, so how did it turn out? lol!
@WonderWoman,
I was about to judge you in my head until I remembered being dickmatized by some dude from the hood, long ago in my youth (that’d be 2008). I still walk funny.
@RocktheCatbox, mmmmmm memories!
@RocktheCatbox, mmmmmmm memories!
@RocktheCatbox, good memories!
@WonderWoman, this don’t matter if you work at McDonald’s. if you work at Ernst & Young then you should have just damn known better. you know who you’re dating!
@Panama Jackson, I knew he had “hood tendencies” but once he knew he had me, he let it all hang out!
@WonderWoman,
*tears*
i did have pfunk on a lil too loud this morn
@WonderWoman,
I had an ex pick me up from work once
Rule #1 should read: “Don’t date somebody you are not comfortable picking you up at the job”….
@Sula, True…(bows head in shame…)
@WonderWoman,
Good for you….. even if u were slightly embarressed…… I bet you have some memories you hold close to you about that ninja. I am not too good to date a hood ninja. As a matter of fact…. Im currently in a relationship with a hood dude…. he cuts grass for a living (he’s LLC’d and shyt). I have been tenderly holding on to the winter, because whilst the spring approaches… I am aware that the times we have together will be limited by his occupation and his every growing ambition to “get his hustle on”…. But on that note….. my lil’hood boo has never cheated on me… he always opens the suicide door for me… when we ride…just for me, he keeps the music volume right at tolerable, and all around treats me like a queen. Actually… I think im in love. Thats y yall folks havent been seeing me around lately
@Lanieanna, I know….I was doing the Bonnie & Clyde thang…trying to be dat ride or die chick….it was fun and different (my mom is from Barbados so I was hood ignorant) but too much drama comes with some of those hood dudes…so I had to cut him loose….after I had his baby…I had to Live and Learn….
@WonderWoman,
I don’t understand why you’re embarrassed by someone you chose to be with.
@Monk, If I went to your place of business, your church or your mommas house acting all outta pocket you would probably be embarrassed…..even if you chose. I really didn’t expect him to show up like that..he wouldn’t go to his mommas house like that!
@Monk, If I went to your place of business, your church or your mommas house acting all outta pocket you would probably be embarrassed…..even if you chose me. I really didn’t expect him to show up like that..he wouldn’t go to his mommas house like that!
First, I just have to state that I went to this popular bowling alley in suburbia Detroit (maybe Novi) over the holidays and it was the first time I saw such a sign that specificly had signage that read: “No Excessively Baggy Jeans, Gang Colors, ect.” My lady, brother, sister, and sister’s boyfriend, and I took seats at the bar because all the lanes were occupied. Hungry, we ordered food and drinks and the white bartender immediately informs us that they’re all out of wings. Yeah, you see where this is going. On top of that, my lady requests a Hennessey Sour…and the bartender says they don’t serve cognac. Keep in mind, we’re staring at a full fuggin’ bar and lo and behold, not one bottle of cognac. Not even Brandy.
Long story short, hell didn’t break loose…we left. Even though it seemed to be like the “hot spot”, I won’t be returning.
Secondly, there is no second. Petey, your story just reminded me of that episode and I had to get that off my chest and shyt.
@Monk,
Lots of places don’t serve Cognac…I found that out after my boy put me on to a drink called The French Connection: 1 Part Cognac, 1 Part Grand Marnier.
You did the best thing you could do by letting your wallet do the talking and not supporting their business. What was the name of this place?
@Shay, eh, i’ma play devil’s advocate. if i owned an establishment, and negroes (or anyone for that matter) started acting the fool, and said people also had certain tendencies, i would explicitly say that said tendencies (baggy clothes, durags, bandanas, cognac induced fights, so no more hen on my shelves, etc.) are not allowed in my establishment anymore in an effort to prevent said tomfoolery from happening again. i’ve seen this happen plenty of times in atlanta. a place starts out nice, nice crowd, good times. but then the goons and goblins find out about it, and it’s.a.wrap.
@a plus, see. that’s dumb b/c ninjas are ninjas no matter what they have on. i done been in a fight in a tuxedo before.
i mean, i dont see a fight in between dudes in a tuxedo before. all you’re doing making ignant ninjas dress better for their mug shot.
@a plus,
True enough as hypothetical business owner, you have the right to do that- it’s your business. But as the hypothetical customer, I don’t have to support that- and a lot of folks miss that part. They disagree with management’s rules but still spend their money there. That’s foolishness. The best way for your voice to be heard is to hit folks where it hurts, their cash.
@Shay,
Ummm…Grand Marnier is a cognac…mixed with bitter orange yes but a cognac nonetheless…just sayin’
@TLC,
You’re right. I meant to say Hennessy and Grand Marnier. That’s what I get for commenting when I should be asleep.
@Shay,
It’s called Lucky Strikes…only disclosing the name so my folks in Michigan take their business elsewhere.
@Monk,
They have one in DC. I’ll be checkin’ to see if they have the same rules when I get some free time.
@Monk,
We got one here in the H a couple of months ago…
Planned to go and extend our patronage until we checked the website (common habit of two Melanin Enriched Lovers/Conspiracy Theorists) which states their “dress code”. (Although neither of us would be caught anywhere but a local garden in the aforementioned attire…)
The “chicken” comment would have received an ugly retort addressing my vegetarian status, a scathingingly condescending mention of watermelon and red koolaid and a hasty exit…
We’ve given the side eye to the establishment henceforth…(on GP ~ ghetto principle).
@Monk,
“white bartender immediately informs us that they’re all out of wings.”
I think this is where I would have peaced out.
@miss t-lee,
i would have complained to the manager first and informed him that a. i was insulted/offended b. would not be patronizing his joint, and c. tell everyone i know not to patronize his joint as well. that makes much more of an impact instead of just walking out
@the girl,
I feel you, but sometimes I just don’t feel like doing all that. I doubt the manager would care, especially if he already has folks working there with that attitude. You ever heard the saying “bullisht trickles downwards?”
I would have just left, and then put the word out. I definitely would not return. I have a long list of places I won’t visit just on GP. If you can’t see the universal color of money, you don’t need to see my business.
@the girl, to play devil’s advocate here…but if a lot o’ ninjas frequent the establishment, is it not possible that perhaps they actually did run out of wings?
hell i’ve been to a popeyes that ran out of chicken and a burger king that literally had no burgers. that does happen.
@miss t-lee, I really dont see how the bartender telling you what on the menu is unavailable is wrong. You go to Fogo De Chao and they dont have the top sirloin, they let you know as soon as you sit down
@Plain Ole Peyso,
Well that would be understood, if I’m coming in to eat at a restaurant that is primarily known for serving meat.
I walk in a bar and the first thing you tell me is “you are out of wings”, and I haven’t even inquired about wings, better yet, I’m trying to order a drink?
Um…problem.
@Plain Ole Peyso,
Exactly. Although it could have had racial undertones, I gave her (and the establishment) the benefit of a doubt. Things just went on a downward spiral from there though.
@miss t-lee,
I would have peaced out AND wrote a letter. I have become a letter-writing, review-giving, internet-questions answering machine. This little voice will be heard with all the means put at my disposal.
Wallet plus legal voice is a great combo.
@Monk, that’s alright brotha. testify all you need too.
pastor petey jakes is here for the reckoning.
@Panama Jackson,
Wooosah…and shyt.
Public pools…
contrary to popular ninja laden beliefs, they are not all purpose toilets/bidets/kitchen sinks…(i.e, wash yo stankin’ arse before dipping!)
The museum…
the ropes are NOT there to ensure you don’t fall on your face while touching 200 year old paintings…(yes, I’ve seen it happen…)
My house…
keep your rank hooves off my table…
take your “didn’t eat because I know Tenchi can cook” tail out of pots and pans…
redirect your grungy, accidental offspring AWAY from my altar…those are NOT knicknacks (like at ya big momma’s house), samples (as if my place is Sam’sClub/CostCo) OR “dress up masks” you spiritually bereft thumpers! (Just because you don’t see a beloved pic of Jesus, Moses or Jesse Jackson/Obama don’t make it less Holy…)
@Tenchi, you spiritually bereft thumpers
of everything you said…them’s fighting words.
@Panama Jackson,
Fight deez…
*been wanting to say that*
@Tenchi, “Public pools…
contrary to popular ninja laden beliefs, they are not all purpose toilets/bidets/kitchen sinks…(i.e, wash yo stankin’ arse before dipping!)”
And wear a bathing suit or trunks! The days of swimming in your “play clothes” are over. And ladies, please stop wearing a white t-shirt to try to cover your body. It sooooo does not help!
@Ivyette,
“And wear a bathing suit or trunks! The days of swimming in your “play clothes” are over.”
Wtf? Are you telling me people go swimming in regular clothes? I automatically assume that if you go swimming you’re wearing trunks or a bathing suit.
@Humble_One,
“Wtf? Are you telling me people go swimming in regular clothes? I automatically assume that if you go swimming you’re wearing trunks or a bathing suit.”
Nooooo….don’t wear regular or play clothes. This is why I typed, ““And wear a bathing suit or trunks!” before I mentioned the play clothes.
I can’t stand going to the beach or pool and seeing people in shorts and t-shirts. The women don’t make it any better.
NEWSFLASH ladies: a clinging wet t-shirt does not hide a neon pink two piece. Simply buy your size and enjoy!
Men: Denim shorts are not trunks and stop wearing an undershirt (ie wife beater). You ain’t hidin’ nuttin’.
People, a little pudge, booty, or love handle only makes you human…and more cuddly.
@Ivyette,
“I can’t stand going to the beach or pool and seeing people in shorts and t-shirts. The women don’t make it any better.
NEWSFLASH ladies: a clinging wet t-shirt does not hide a neon pink two piece. Simply buy your size and enjoy!”
So what you are saying is the ladies should let everything out between the 2 piece. Don’t cover up the chunk.
“Men: Denim shorts are not trunks and stop wearing an undershirt (ie wife beater). You ain’t hidin’ nuttin’.”
A brotha can’t conceal his six or one pack?
@Humble_One,
“So what you are saying is the ladies should let everything out between the 2 piece. Don’t cover up the chunk.”
Nope…just buy the right size or wear a one piece. A lil chunk or junk shouldn’t stop anyone from enjoying the water.
“A brotha can’t conceal his six or one pack?”
Nope….ever notice that sometimes trying to hide something just brings more attention to it? This goes for six packs and kegs.
@Ivyette,
…and might I add…if you MUST wear a coverall (everybody can’t be as lovely and confident as myself…) BUY a freakin’ coverall! That dingy white shirt with pit stains should be reserved for the *in my beverly hillbillies voice* “the crick or da cement pond” out by big mama’s house!
@Ivyette,
“Nope…just buy the right size or wear a one piece. A lil chunk or junk shouldn’t stop anyone from enjoying the water.”
A lil chunk and most definitely junk shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the water. You must be in Florida or California.
@Humble_One, A lil chunk and most definitely junk shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the water. You must be in Florida or California.
That’s riiiiight…..in Florida. You should get a prize for that.
@Tenchi,
Whities are definitely KNOWN for being filthy and nasty. Peeing in the pool is definitely one thing that they take liberty in doing. And as far as museums, them bad ass white kids know no boundaries.
LMAO. As soon as I read the the title of this entry, I automatically thought of Chuck E. Cheese!
I literally shudder at the mere thought of having to visit the place when someone throws a party for the little one(s). My reply is a little along the lines of : “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry cousin Butta won’t be able to make it to Chuck’s, but I’ll be by the house to bring your gift…” (lol). I just refuse to step one pinky toe into that gawd-forsaken place. AND its stank in that joint too!…the smell of cheese doodles, frittos (sp)? and baby wipes all in one. They might as well shut it down. Bad-azz kids with no home training running around the place and have the nerve to push YOU out of the way. “Where a kid can be a kid my azz!”….its where some of the parents do not actually have to keep a close eye on Quanisha, La’shaye, Dushawn and Dontavius…
And just to add a few more:
*Family reunions
*Chain restaurants (with loud outbursts of “ya’ll got any hotsauce?”…”I wan’t ‘mines’ cooked well done”….and mispronouncing the simplest things, but steady ordering —> “Oooo, what’s dis? I’mma try dis “Moe-Cha lot-taye” (mocha latte). Smdh!
*Hotel lobbies (esp church folks)
*Walmart
*the movies (would you kindly shet the eff up?…its not whispering if I can still hear you….and all those dayum bags rattling b/c you tried sneaking Micky Dee’s, gyros, wings and subs in the place…and why bring the babies to see the movie “Precious” ?…some people’s children…)
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
Ms. ButtaWorth are you from Chicago?
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
No sir…curious to know why do you ask?
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
Gyros thats all. N hearing ninja’s “mispronouncing the simplest things”.
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
“Gyros thats all. N hearing ninja’s “mispronouncing the simplest things”.
Oh okay…
We do have a few spots down here that seem to “put their foot in it” when it comes those things. I can never eat the whole thing. And it seems everybody’s first name begins with Muhammad….one’s from Eygpt, a few from Morocco, and the other Turkish. (LoL)
@Ms. Butta’sWorth, (mocha latte).
for the record, that ^^^ is not the easiest thing to pronouce. neither is kwesadilas.
@Panama Jackson,
“for the record, that ^^^ is not the easiest thing to pronouce. neither is kwesadilas.”
Oh yeah? But dude, doesn’t Mickey D’s sells their own rendition of iced coffees (nothing to write home about though)…I mean just by watching and/or listening to one commercial and they’ll get proper enunciation of the word. Hell, the little cashier girl always attempts to make a sell by asking patrons to try an iced mocha/mocha latte before she takes the order.
Besides, how is it most folk (yes, including “us”) are familiar with : supercalifragilisticexpialidocious or better yet Outkast’s —> Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik. And that’s how many words??? LoL
@Ms. Butta’sWorth c/o Panama Jackson
Or rather that’s how many letters? hehe…
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
“*Family reunions.”
This can’t be a bad thing. To my knowledge, Black folks are the primary people when it comes to having family reunions…excluding marriages, funerals, graduations, and all the other stuff that brings “family” together. We need to stay close-knit. Why stop?
@Monk,
*Family reunions.”
“This can’t be a bad thing. To my knowledge, Black folks are the primary people when it comes to having family reunions…excluding marriages, funerals, graduations, and all the other stuff that brings “family” together. We need to stay close-knit. Why stop?”
Oh absolutely, I’m not disputing that at all, we definitely need to keep thangs tightly knit…but going back to the original topic with certain establishments, events, etc….implementing/enforcing a set of rules (esp for ‘my folks’)…because when we all come together whether we are family by love, blood or circumstance….just ain’t no tellin’ and family reunions are no exception….that’s all I’m sayin’.
However, this does not exclude “the others” and their own fuggedupness either.
I think you and I are on the same page though.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
I agree with everything except the movies. I will raise my hand
in shamethat I have yelled ignant-azz warnings to the foolish melatonin-deficient maiden who finds it NECESSARY to stumble into the basement and get killed, but the yts are just as bad (I can’t stand somebody who screams at the LEAST scary part of a movie because they’re trying to “maximize their experience.”) Frankly, I see it as getting back at YtHollywood for killing off theunnecessary tokencharacter in the first five minutes.And uhhh, I STAND UP AND REFUSE to pay 50-11 dollars for three kernels of popcorn and a straw full of Slushie. You can go on ahead with that foolishness. I PROUDLY go in there with a purse full of family-sized bags of chips, bottles of soda, and hell, sometimes if I’m feeling hawngry I WILL bring in that Big Mac meal and DARE someone else to say something. I do however draw the line at people bringing in tupperwares full of food that requires kitchen appliances to prepare and any utensil other than hands to eat.
I saw a woman with a plate of chicken and potatoes at Shutter Island and I gave her the old #side-eye
mostly because it smelled good and I couldn’t have none.@word of mouth,
I’m over here hollarin’ at your entire post! I’m on the floor LMBlaqA$$Offf!!!
Maybe I should have mentioned that I love to “taste the rainbow” (skittles original fruit) while sipping on a sprite that “Iboughtmydayumself” from the convenient store up the street. I’m just sayin, folks need to prep that isht before the movie begins or at least during the 15/20 minute preview before the actual show. Don’t start that isht when there is total silence in the room! LoL
- The airport: Just two days ago I was flying back to school. Y’all know Southwest forces everyone to line up in some sort of order like we’re in kindergarten, then they board A1-30, 30-60, B1-30… with two groups always lined up at the same time, starting obviously with both As. So the boarding lady (what the hell are those people called anyway?) boards A1-30, then calls the first B group to line up. She can’t even get the letter “B” out of her mouth before these two ninjas in front of me get all up in arms talkin bout some “NAW HOL THE F*CK UP YOU DIDN’T CALL A30-60!” followed by a solid 20 seconds of general nignorance, forcing the poor woman to let out a meek “I… I know… I was just calling them to line up,” and forcing the rest of us within earshot (read: the entire airport) to facepalm in unison.
- Not specifically a place, but a group of over 4 ninjas shouldn’t be allowed in line anywhere.
- Weddings. Let’s just say that when it becomes time to cross that bridge, money is not the reason that half of my family might not be invited.
- College. Getting into college, while certainly commendable, doesn’t give you the right to embarrass Black people at your discretion. You haven’t “made it” by just being there, you make it when you graduate in a reasonable amount of time and if the school still actively recruits minorities after your Black ass leaves campus. Oh and when you graduate, you aren’t allowed to hang around the dorms for all the time like you still go there.
@P.,
“- Weddings. Let’s just say that when it becomes time to cross that bridge, money is not the reason that half of my family might not be invited.”
Amen…and Amen again!
@P.,
“- Not specifically a place, but a group of over 4 ninjas shouldn’t be allowed in line anywhere.”
TRUTH!!
@P., You haven’t “made it” by just being there, you make it when you graduate in a reasonable amount of time and if the school still actively recruits minorities after your Black ass leaves campus. Oh and when you graduate, you aren’t allowed to hang around the dorms for all the time like you still go there.
lol. that’s real. think about this though…what if an HBCU let in so many ignant ninjas at one point to include faculty, admin, and staff that the school basically lost accrediation or something and had to shut down b/c of it.
morris brown. im looking at you.
@Panama Jackson, oooooooh.
@Panama Jackson,
That’s cold, dawg. Real cold.
@P., “College. Getting into college, while certainly commendable, doesn’t give you the right to embarrass Black people at your discretion.”
I’ll raise you one… graduation ceremonies (any for that matter)- I’m sure we all can come up with a few reasons why on our own- smh
@P.,
– Not specifically a place, but a group of over 4 ninjas shouldn’t be allowed in line anywhere. .
This is funny. I don’t necessarily agree, but it’s still hilarious.
this comment is to whomever thinks it applies to them……. Shame on those who are ashamed of their families. When did we become the the bougie boule’ ninja patrol?
I got a crack head aunt… maybe 2 teeth in her mouth and enuff crust on her feet to make her stand 2 feet taller…. and i would take her to meet the president if i had the oppertunity. She wiped my arse and fed me pablum for God’s sake! Although I may dress a bit more conservative (trust me…. being conservative has more with me being a size 14 than it has to do with my own personal style), and I have a White collar corporate job with an Executive position… I am neither embarressed nor ashamed of the ppl I call family, nor the place that I come from… You know.. where k’s and q’s are a common staple in chosing a name for a child. Fuq it! I LIKE WATERMELON, FRIED CHICKEN, MY TRUCK HAS 22′S, AND MY GRANDMOTHER HAS A MOUTH FULL OF GOLD!!…… oh! and my name…. My name is
Mischappell Lanieanna-cajun Cocainea ______-______. I have a “ghetto” name and I love it. My mother chose it just for me and it is nothing i am ashamed of.
@Lanieanna, I heart this comment.
Laser f*cking Tag. I went with a few friends this past saturday, and these suburban black youth were literally in there on some “we gonna clap some fools” etc. It sounded so ridiculous. These same children then tried to follow us to the bar at B-dubs. They got the boot with the quickness.
Someone else’s house (i.e. any place that you don’t reside). Seriously the “f*ck yo couch” mentality has to stop. There is an infamous story of mine called Cerealgate that involves my pillow, my brand new sheets, a bowl of wet and soggy cereal and a weed head. Obviously things didn’t end well (he’s now banned from speaking to me for fear of me sending him back to prison with a restraining order and a harassment charge).
Man, sometimes I wonder if the black community should hire David Duke to kill all the retarded acting ninjas. No bullsh*t. Bet if they were all gone, 2520′s would love the rest of us, since we’re “okay with them” because we show that we have home training.
Just saying.
@chaoticdiva,
2520′a don’t have any manners either…
Quick story, I was at a billiards competition. The ACUI whom sponsored the competition also catered and gave us plenty of food to eat. So I grab a few wings and a soft drink, sit down and enjoy my meal quietly acquinted with this nice, fine Dominican breezy as I enjoyed her native tongue. (no pun intended)
The next guy up to get his food, was a white guy in his early 20′s I suppose. Looks at the chicken, stuffs his face in the each and every pan to see what each batch of chicken smelled like! and says “Oh yeah, this is great!” (Never have I been so happy that I got my food first). he sits down at the table and proceeds to smack louder than an Iraqi POW, while licking his fingers and interrupting the mack.(or maybe not cuz he made me n the chick feel good that we weren;t white)
He made me embarrassed just to be human.*sigh*
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
“2520?a don’t have any manners either…”
hello! say it again…
it’s just that, in general, they have a comfort that comes with a supremacist outlook and a sense of entitlement. ( not all. i said “in general”) and we’re always on our guard because we’ve been taught we have to better to be equal, so we notice it with each other but not so much with them.
i was in the damn grocery store the other day, looking in the meat freezer and this gross, slovenly, white boy came up and propped his nasty ass, swine flu lookin foot on the freezer (the meat freezer!) so he could tie his fat ass shoe. the recession has me on edge, yall. because i had to catch myself before automatically indulging my natural instinct to swat that freakin rhino claw back onto the floor where it belonged.
and one time when i was at a rehearsal with 2 friends, my black bff and a 2520 acquaintance, the crew brought us a cake on one of the breaks. everybody was so excited to get some because we were all starving. so, everyone is being nice and orderly, cutting his/her piece of cake and picking it up with a napkin. until the 2520 girl (bless her heart. she was my buddy) brings her triflin ass up and dives her open hand into the cake, pulls a piece out and casually walks away eating it. all the black dancers (who my friend and i had been hanging with, cuz they were the “cool kids”) start rebuking her, and asking “who in the HELL is THAT!?” chile, me and my bff blended into that crowd and denied that white girl like peter did jesus.
2520′s shouldn’t be able to go around community food that must be shared among people without rules.
@charli skipper,
“2520’s shouldn’t be able to go around community food that must be shared among people without rules.”
THIS! If I had a dollar every time I had to witness white folk mess with the food…there is no way to avoid it!
You put out napkins…..they reach around them.
You lay out the food so that it’s easy to pick up….they reach aaaallll the way to the back of the plate and palm every piece of food on the tray.
You provide a cake cutter…..they still digging their fingers into the icing, licking the finger, and putting it back into the icing.
You set the stuff right next to the sink and some handsoap….they lick their fingers, skip the sink and rub their hands together.
My only solution: elbow those bammas out of the way and get your ish FIRST. And say your grace earnestly. lol!
@charli skipper, the fcukery that goes on at “bring-a-dish-to-work-day” is unmatched. Folk walk past the sink and the Purel dispenser, digging their nasty ass fingers into pies to see what they taste like, or poking holes in donuts to see what flavor they are, only to say “no thanks”….grabbing whole bagels, and breaking them in half, taking one half and leaving the other, for some unsuspecting co-worker…tryna hand me something to taste from their bare hands, like i’m some damn slave! FOH!
Dare I say, this is all at a hospital?
ok then, i won’t.
@charli skipper, i’ve noticed that a lot of 2520 folks do not mind the free hand touching of food things that other people are going to eat. like cutting cake and touching the piece they finna give you with their fingers after they done licked off icing. i ALWAYS come with the purell. and i dont even think that shit does anything but it just gives me peace of mind that germs might go away. it’s also why i never eat at our unit parties. lol. i just drink drinks that have to be opened with a bottle opener.
@charli skipper,
Ok, during my lunch trip to the local Luby’s cafeteria, a 2520 patron in line ahead of me reaches underneath the sneeze guard and over an entree to point to the particular piece of meat he wanted. Why can’t you use your words, man?
@charli skipper,
hello! say it again…
it’s just that, in general, they have a comfort that comes with a supremacist outlook and a sense of entitlement. ( not all. i said “in general”)
Exactly.
@charli skipper,
Praise Jesus for this comment! I dread every office potluck, cause I’m hungry but I see how they do:
Leave the bathroom with a quick, cold rinse
Take glasses from the company kitchen, rinse them with cold water then put them back up as if they’re “clean.”
Look at their sandwhich at the lunch table and say, “Aw, Bruce (the cat) must’ve hopped up on the counter, cause his hair is on my PB&J” and then THEY. EAT. IT. ANYWAY! o___O
And then if there’s food left in the kitchen,they will cut a corner off a muffin and five people will come by and eat off this same, leftover, passed by, cut-up, nasty muffin??
Jesus take the wheel…It’s forced me to keep my own cup, bowl and spoon at my desk and to eat only my food or the food of the three other black folks in the office. I just don’t get it??
@charli skipper,
LMAO!!!! @ ‘like peter did jesus’
…as well you should have, that is some damn bs
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
2520?a don’t have any manners either… .
This is so true.
@V Renee,
2520?a don’t have any manners either… .
Actually had a member of WAITSTAFF commit what is to me (and the people at our get together/pals at dinner meeting) at a Houston eatery.
A friend ordered something with baked chicken, which arrived at the table lukewarm…which the friend found out while taking that initial bite. We summoned the waiter and this filthy mcnasty, despicable, raised by some combination of goat and pig 2520 put his INDEX FINGER on the chicken and replied, “Feels hot to me…”
…the body has NOT been found…
@chaoticdiva, Man, sometimes I wonder if the black community should hire David Duke to kill all the retarded acting ninjas. No bullsh*t. Bet if they were all gone, 2520’s would love the rest of us, since we’re “okay with them” because we show that we have home training.
much like everybody said, young white dudes in particular have some of the worst manners in history. white chicks, young ones, can just be nasty tho.
@chaoticdiva, btw, is there anything more annoying that suburban thugs??
you are not a thug if you’re straight out of columbia (maryland). you’re just not.
laurel, i’m also looking at you.
greenbelt, largo, lanham, suitland, oxon hill, certain parts of hyattsville and anybody who went to Duval high school on the other hand TOTALLY get a pass. lol. some parts of PG County, MD are nothing BUT hood. palmer park. i’m looking at you.
@Panama Jackson, Ha! there are NO thugs in Columbia that’s for sure.
@Panama Jackson,
C’mon now – Lanham is nowhere NEAR as ghetto as Laurel (at least not the PG side of Laurel). Lanham is my hometown, but recently I’ve noticed the good hood folk of New Carrolton creeping in.
Basically, if your neighborhood gets called out at the go-go….you’re in the hood,lol.
With all due respect, I can’t really think of any places where we (Blacks and shyt) need not go unless rules are in place so therefore, Monk Presents:
Places Whities shouldn’t be able to go unless rules are in place:
1. The hood. I’m not really a fan of gentrification. I’m all for Black Americans building up our own communities and making it “better” in regards to living conditions, school systems, economically sound, etc.. Theoretically speaking, I would love for the Indians, Middle-Easterners, White folks, Asians and arrogant Africans who think they’re “better” than black Americans to have to adhere to a set of rules. To a certain degree, they ALL disrespect us in a way that’s not warranted so rules are needed.
2. Entertainment. This is HUMUNGOUS! When you think about it, all this great art that comes from Black people is “allowed” to be “put out there” by white people. Even the Oprah’s, Cosby’s, and Perry’s have to have someone white giving them the green light when it comes to most projects. Nothing is EVER solely the production company that you see…it’s Lion’s Gate, or Warner Bothers, or New Line Cinema, or Sony and ‘em that’s REALLY putting the movie into theatres. Even in music, Black people own labels and whatnot, but white people own DISTRIBUTION companies. BIG. DIFFERENCE. (By the way, R.I.P. B.I.G.) Before white folks are allowed to put us out there, even if we exploit ourselves, they should have to go through a set of rules that WE set.
Oh yeah, this goes for sports too, being that team owners of all of the sports that we are dominant in are white, they should adhere to OUR rules.
3. Religion. Yeah, this may be touchy, but fugg it…whities should leave religion alone…as it relates to black folks. Of course they can believe what they wanna believe but Black folks got this gospel (what’s another word for shyt?) on LOCK! With the exception of my man, Joel Osteen, all these others white preachers need to BACDAFUCUP, as ONYX would say. Word. Our doctrines can be the same, but I’m not praying to a stringy-haired white man that my grandma used to have posted up on the wall. Naah! We’ve always been spiritual people and if they come in, they gotta play by our rules.
Monk has spoken…and shyt.
@Monk, I liked that.
“who think they’re “better” than black Americans to have to adhere to a set of rules. To a certain degree, they ALL disrespect us in a way that’s not warranted so rules are needed.”
…and with this here ^^^ …I feel the irony is that alot of “us” allow that shyt…being so hungry for freedom to the point (now) that anything goes in a lot of our communities. Not much of a united front among us…that whole divide & conquer scheme is more alive and thriving well nowadays since a lot of our folk have more opportunities, than it was decades ago, when no matter how well-read/spoken “you” were….WE were ALL still in the same boat. IMO since the beginning of slavery, you’ll find that many of us sold each other out for a little come up (hence some of the slave catchers were African as well)….Europeans and many others looking from the outside in saying: “Well hell, since you condone the slave trade and its operations, I’ll give/pay you “X” amount for them…”you’re selling them anyway.” And that’s another thing, always looking to sell (out) for a few bucks, but never enough unity to put our duckets together and buy up (expand) some shyt….and pretty soon, there won’t be much left to sell; just broke with no sense of ownership.
I can almost hear them laughing…..
@Monk,
i agree with this post. especially the racial undertones and the part where you make an exception for joel osteen. i like him, and i always find it hard to reconcile that with the bigot part of myself.
@charli skipper,
I love my Jesus, though. I’m just sayin, at what point in the Bible did the white people read that he looked like gabriel aubry? in the middle of the Mid East!? *mini-rant over*
@Monk, “1. The hood. I’m not really a fan of gentrification. I’m all for Black Americans building up our own communities and making it “better” in regards to living conditions, school systems, economically sound, etc.”
I am seriously nodding in agreement at your whole list…but this right here is IMHO- THE TRUTH
@Monk, well thanks for taking tomorrow’s post there, Bubba. and what is black folks obsession with joel osteen??
@Panama Jackson,
Am I the only person who thinks Joel Osteen will either A) Help me file a frivolous law suit or B) Sell me a used car?
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
*snickering loudly*
I can’t get with Joel either…I’ve tried, but no.
@Panama Jackson,I know huh?! I think black folks love Joel Osteen because he speaks about real situations that black folks can relate too. For me personally he reminds me of my pastor back home. Every time I watch him my spirit lifts because I know I am going to get a word from GOD.
@Panama Jackson,
My mom…54 yo Haitian woman calls him her husband.
DIS TUR BING!!
@Monk,
“To a certain degree, they ALL disrespect us in a way that’s not warranted so rules are needed.”
the proper response is to not give a f*uck….
I’m waitin for the neighbors to move out as it is
@Monk,
I agree with the arrogant Africans because I come from a family of them. *sigh* I just wanna #sideeye my fam sometimes, but honestly, when your name is Nfume and you see a negress with N’an’fume’yah’quesha-*toya, I would think I was a little superior too.
While we’re on the subject…
Places black people need rules to attend: THE ROOM WHERE YOU WRITE THE BABY’S NAME ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE! People need to take IQ tests before they go in that bish! Pilot Inspektor? Vaselin? GONORRHEA? (pronounced Guh-nore-ea)
*cry for my people*
1. All fast food places. For real. We know you’re hungry. I am too.. but your eye rolling and heavy breathing because the line is moving slow is ruining MY appetite. Yelling at the cashier does not help. By the time you get to him/her, I guarantee there will miraculously be no chicken.
2. The post office. It never ceases to amaze me how some of the quietest activities can encourage loud behavior.
I’m starting to think
a. ninjas have issues with lines period.
b. ninjas have issues with silence.
Oh! and someone mentioned this already but I feel a need to reiterate.
3. The movies.
I’ve personally never experienced this but I’ve heard so many horror stories.
@lulu,
I’m sure you have…I remember going to the movies with an ex and I ended up walking right out of the theater because no more than 15/20 minutes into the movie (which I did not care for at the time, he picked), the place was full of weed smoke, the smell of liquor and non stop talking (about the volume of lets say a high school cafeteria). I was livid…and way too many ignorant folk.
LOL at a) and b). I don’t think “silence” is in our makeup. We’re some lively people you know – especially through song and dance, and I believe its just part of our culture…from the very beginning. Its simply how we communicate and express ourselves.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
Ok, while I’ve seen plenty of us acting bad at the movies, I can honestly say that every time someone has answered the phone and held an actual conversation at a movie I went to, it was a caucasian. Further, when I went to the movie and two guys got to fighting, I’m proud to say, it was hispanic vs. caucasian. It’s sad that we have to celebrate the occasions that don’t involve us when it comes to public “ignance”, but it’s refreshing to know that it’s not just us doing dumb shyt.
@lulu,
a. ninjas have issues with lines period.
b. ninjas have issues with silence.
That made me chuckle.
How are you gonna be a ninja when you don’t have patience and can’t be quiet? Shinobi are effin up.
@lulu,
“1.All fast food places.”
This goes for the ninjas on both sides of the counter. I’ve issued fatwas to every McDonald’s in Charleston because of ninjas with no home training. For the customers get off of your damn cell phone, pull up your pants and order. For the workers they should have to put together a jigsaw puzzle and watch an episode of the Electric Company to see if they qualify to take orders. I could go on but my rant would only divide us as a people.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
lmao @ “i’ve issued fatwas/divide us as a people.”
@lulu,
Seriously, aren’t piping hot fries worth a fatwa?(Especially after 10 or 12 Budweisers) As for the dividing of our people…meh.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., OMG you know my suffering! That jawnt on rivers by remount?? Last time I was there they had NO food and the workers didnt even have on uniforms!! HTF are you taking orders wit gold fronts and a tall tee?
Although uniforms were not required they did have on name tags. Swantasha and Starasia let me know that they had no: ice cream, milk shakes, happy meal bags or toys, and they was making the sweet tea now. Jesus save the chuck!
@sxyscientst,
The one at Orleans Rd and Savannah Hwy will be the first to burn. The milk shake machine is always broken! When you go after 12 and use the drive thru, the credit card is always down but they don’t tell you this until you get to the window. I know Laquisha is pocketing the cash to by weave with. I just know it.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
I see what you mean now…
@lulu, I’m starting to think
a. ninjas have issues with lines period.
b. ninjas have issues with silence.
we do…we been waiting for so long to speak up, we just can’t help ourselves.
okay….i may be that ninja talking in the movie. because, guess what? i don’t see why people are so uptight, hell. when the white girl walks away from the killer thinking he dead after she jerk-slapped him across the face and that’s it, i’m going to say something. now, i won’t yell it, but damnit if i’m not gone get involved because what theatre is about…even though it’s a movie……….i’m kind of being sarcastic. except not really, because i do talk in the movies and bring my own candy. i bore easily…so i guess what i’m saying is, i am THAT ninja.
but other ninjas should not be allowed in convenience stores. going into a gas station in the hood is like a fantastic voyage. dudes tryin to holla, old ass cat daddies trying to entice your gold digger side by offering you your pick of any of the extremely valuable and delicate goodies in all of the circle K, the threat of fights……it’s just scary. and not cute. and dear lord, please don’t let the store owner/employee be asian so these fools can start callin him all types of racial slurs. ya know, in between calling each other racial slurs. i need to start buying my candy online and a car that runs off of oxygen because i just…..can’t.
@charli skipper,
“okay….i may be that ninja talking in the movie. because, guess what? i don’t see why people are so uptight, hell. when the white girl walks away from the killer thinking he dead after she jerk-slapped him across the face and that’s it, i’m going to say something. now, i won’t yell it, but damnit if i’m not gone get involved because what theatre is about…even though it’s a movie……….i’m kind of being sarcastic. except not really, because i do talk in the movies and bring my own candy. i bore easily…so i guess what i’m saying is, i am THAT ninja.”
BWA Hahahahaha (knee slappin’) So that’s you making all that dayum noise! Shhhhhhhh…..
@charli skipper, I too am guilty of talking in a movie theater. To me its second nature to respond to some stupid act. Someone is always in agreement with my statement also (I’m just the one to say it out loud).
At least you don’t live in NY city and have adults trying to pump your gas with some tired story of why they are doing it and then get mad at you when you decline their help. One man told me it was his daughters birthday that day and he wanted to get her a gift… A few days later he had the same excuse. One woman wanted to buy her child some milk and had a stroller with her at the gas station. Turns out she had a doll in the stroller. SMFH I want my people to do better
@MsQuiMarie,
“At least you don’t live in NY city and have adults trying to pump your gas with some tired story of why they are doing it and then get mad at you when you decline their help.”
This is in Detroit too. They will also try to sell you bootleg DVD’s while they want to pump your gas.
@charli skipper,
this is why i ONLY pay outside with debit/credit. yeah im taking a risk with someone stealing my credit card number, BUT i have an excellent credit union that fights crime like its their money. so yah. iCant and iWont with the ignificance that is gas stations.
also don’t forget the homeless/those without morals trying to scam money out of people. smh
@charli skipper, okay….i may be that ninja talking in the movie. because, guess what? i don’t see why people are so uptight, hell. when the white girl walks away from the killer thinking he dead after she jerk-slapped him across the face and that’s it, i’m going to say something. now, i won’t yell it, but damnit if i’m not gone get involved because what theatre is about…even though it’s a movie……….i’m kind of being sarcastic. except not really, because i do talk in the movies and bring my own candy. i bore easily…so i guess what i’m saying is, i am THAT ninja.
perhaps i hate you.
@Panama Jackson,
why ya gotta be like that, maaaaaaaaaan?
Concerts in small venues, Ninjas should only be allowed to go to concerts in Big a$$ arenas, like MSG, or outdoor venues, I’m sorry, I paid ( insert whatever dollar amount) here , so I wouldn’t have to have yo broke a$$ runnin up to the stage from behind me standing in front of me blocking my view of whomever I came to see, oh and also to any of the ninjas who happen to be sitting anywhere in front of me, sit yo a$$ down, I can’t see the dayum concert over yo 6’4″ self , you paid for the seat, now sit the eff down in it… now i do understand that the music may have you feelin it at some point so you have the need to stand up at some point (well actually that ain’t even neccessary) , and PULEEEZE, I paid to come here and see whomever, I don’t need yo azz to be LOUDLY singin along right next to me in my ear & whatnot, cause if i wanted to hear some non-singing someone, i woulda stayed home & listened to my dayum self …
@bajanflchick, now you know how we get an “intimate” venues. thats your fault for having expectations
@bajanflchick,
I widen this to concerts period. Just has an awful experience at the BP3 show. First it was cigerette smoke from 3 chicks in the row behind us, then one if them plopped a 8-9yo boy in the still empty seat next to my friend (why was he there?), then those seats that had been empty filled up around the time Jeezy came out. they brought weed with them (I hate weed smell) plus I Don’t think they had tix for those seats bc they squeezed more ppl in the empty spot than there were seats, which ended up making the couple on the end leave and me being pushed down two seats into the aisle. UGH!!! I paid too much for those tix to be pushed and bumped and forced to inhale nasty smoke.
@bajanflchick,
Everyone seems to be hitting my personal pet peeves today!
So, went to see MJB at the rodeo last week and the womanperson attached to the seat in front of mine had a straight Holyrolling fit that was intermittedly interrupted so that should could whip out her Iphone/batphone/insert ninja technology here and RECORD the show. The SO had to tie my legs to the chair to prevent the inevitable (and warranted) kick to the back of the throat that I so sincerely wanted to administer…
(STOP recording the ENTIRE dang show and work on your memory before all the years of alcohol/prescription drugs/weed use take their toll…geeez!)
@Tenchi,
I knew there was a reason why didn’t go see MJB at the rodeo, other than too many ninjas in one place at a time
Doctor’s offices. You have an appointment for a reason. You are fasting for a reason. Follow your instructions and do not come UP in here neckrolling, fingersnapping, & gum popping, because don’t let the white coat fool ya I’m still 100% NINJA too and as soon as I get you away from these good white folks Imma getwitcha. Disclaimer: same goes for ignant 2520′s that don’t stay in their lane.
@FiveFivewithbrowneyes, and as soon as I get you away from these good white folks Imma getwitcha.
i’ve said this a time or two myself…LOL
Well this goes for the black people that are running the establishment. If you are a pizza place that has the word pizza in the name don’t stop serving pizza just because its hot outside. I went to get some pizza at this one spot and the lady was like we not selling pizza today cuz its too hot to turn the oven on. WTF, then what the hell are you selling? Isn’t this a pizza place. No wonder the asians come in the hood and do good business because they will sell any and everything to you.
Also, for black business if you are a breakfast place don’t run out of things like pancakes and actually take the order of people that come into the restaurant. I went out with my family to some spot and for some reason they were really slow or disorganized because they hadn’t taken our order. My mother being the person she is writes everybody’s order down at the table and takes it up to the kitchen herself. That’s when we realize they ran out of pancakes. After that the waitstaff came and took our order, I guess they didn’t want my mother acting like she worked there.
@Deeds, the lady was like we not selling pizza today cuz its too hot to turn the oven on.
that’s some black shit
@Deeds,
WTF??? They don’t have air or what??? That’s just as ignant(yes I said ignant) as the BK that ran out of burgers. got to the front of the line and the first thing outta the chicks mouth “we ain’t got no burgers, just chicken and fish”
“Or the Ruby Tuesday’s here in DC that doesn’t sell dark liquor since that’s what usually incites ninjas to act like, well, ninjas. They do still serve light liquor though”.
Seriously? WTH? I have never heard of this policy…lol
@miss t-lee, is P talmbout the one in Chinatown????
Don’t really go there but LOL!!!!!
@OrangeStar616, why yes he is.
@miss t-lee, sadly there are alot of spots i’ve encountered in the DMV that dont serve jack, yac, or crown royal ….. makes no sense
@Stix,
Wow…that is crazy.
I’ve never encountered anything like this. I don’t see that flying too well down here.
@miss t-lee,
Yeah, that will NOT fly… Texans HATE having things taken away from them more than they hate mingling with other folks… Remember how long it took for the smoke ban to take effect in Houston? Ages… we don’t do “No” very well down here.
@Sula,
Girl the smoking ban has been in effect here for about 5 years before it came ya’ll’s way. There are folks STILL protesting that ish…lmao
@miss t-lee,
Smoking ban – Yeah we supposedly have one here. I can’t tell. Mofos here do not hesitate to light up, a blunt at that, where ever and whenever. Lol
@Stix, especially since i can just take shots of Patron all night too. like whats the point of not serving dark if i can still drink liquor. sure i might not be able to get what i want, but i’m still getting something gotdammit.
Concerts. I will never. Ever. Ever. go to a MJB concert again. WTF was I thinking? I know that Mary is the Matriarch of Pain & Sorrow for sistas, but dammit, EVERY woman singing along to EVERY song makes for a nightmare of a concert. Seriously, the next time my girlfriend asks me to go to one of them sh*ts, I’ll counteroffer with Raekwon tickets.
Checkmate.
@DirtyJerz, well then you got a gang of white dudes singing along and mouthing the n-word.
you really lose either way.
just go see peter hadar.
@DirtyJerz, hell yeah!!! I got free tickets last summer to Hot 97 Summer Jam at Giants Stadium.. and let me tell you… It was my first time going, and that sh*t was probably the ghettoest event I’ve ever been to in my life…. I mean words can’t even describe. Before you even got IN the stadium, ninjas was outside sellin Henessey, blunts, du-rags, fried chicken, bootleg liquor concoctions…
Once inside, in the stands, mad blunts just being freely smoked… i mean everywhere I looked, people were rolling blunts… (however part of me was like, how come I didn’t get that memo!!! lol)
And the outfits on the women… good Lord. I mean, it was like AGONY seeing all those overweight chicks squeezed like sausages into all typa utterly ridiculous outfits… mesh, spandex, neon, you name it.. Weaves of every length and color… just wow.
Never again!!!
@BKSweetheart,
I think all Summer Jams are like this. At least the ones I’ve been to in Detroit.
@BKSweetheart, felt this way at BP3 well minus the outside “vendors” it was straight outside but inside the outfits, hair and freely smoked blounts were in full effect add in the high fat guys flailing there arms around almost knocking me out and I had reached my ninja limit for the weekend.
@DirtyJerz,
LMBO @ this…
I just posted something similar before reading this…
Every woman in the place was having her own personal “Precious” dream sequence moment, telling off nonexistent former boyfriend/bootycalls/dudes smashed your homegirl instead of you…
Then topped it off with No More Drama and Fine…
I’m like, “No heffa, you’re so obviously NOT fine…this isn’t church…shut up and sit yo arse DOWN!”
@Tenchi, I truly Love this “Every woman in the place was having her own personal “Precious” dream sequence moment, telling off nonexistent former boyfriend/bootycalls/dudes smashed your homegirl instead of you…”…every time i picture this ish i seriously LMAO…thanks for the much needed comic relief…seriously I heart the VSB folks
While we’re at it can we make a rule that them ninjas outside of the club can’t demand money from me for parking on a public street. They act like they’re doing something by “directing” me into a parking spot that I already saw and then when I get out want me to give them money. They can get pretty demanding. No sir, this is not your private lot this street is the property of the District of Columbia.
@Deeds, gotta watch out though cuz sometimes dem ninja’s will slash ur tires …
@Deeds, you’re not paying for parking. you’re paying for the peace of mind of knowing that dude will not be in your car when you get back.
Love was NOTORIOUS for them ninjas. then again, when you have to park in the hood, what’s an extra 10 bucks?
@Panama Jackson,
“you’re not paying for parking. you’re paying for the peace of mind of knowing that dude will not be in your car when you get back.”
Too true.
Or you’re paying for peace of mind that your car may actually be there when you make it back…lmao
@Panama Jackson, word! it’s all about someone holding someone accountable for when your car comes up missing. Think of that dude as your own personal Dennis Haysbert.
…that’s Allstate’s stand, are you in good hands?”
@Panama Jackson, Yea, but everytime I come back even if I leave early, no one is there watching my car to make sure its safe.
@Deeds, but it’s all about how you feel when you leave your car. lol…quite frankly, I hope that ninja AINT out there, so I don’t have to hear part deux of his sob story.
Ninjas:
1. the Department of Motor Vehicles/ the Secretary of State (both patrons and workers, lawd jesus)
2. The public library (somehow gangs of teenage ninjas congregate here, not to read, just standing around being ninjerly)
3. Any dining establishment that requires a reservation
White trash:
1. The mall. White kids are kleptos.
2. elementary schoolyards (cough-MOLESTERS-cough)
3. College football games when you have never seen the inside of/cannot spell college
FOTB Asians:
1. The highway.
They can generally go anywhere else because nobody will notice.
@RocktheCatbox,
dead at this whole comment.
yeah you’re def in detroit. lol. i had to go to pay a parking ticket downtown the other day and OHMYWORD the ninjas that were in there and the excuses they had for getting tickets was pure comedy. i just… couldn’t. wow.
@Muze,
Girl yes. I should have also added gas stations…why is it like the club on a friday night??! I guess it’s a good place to be when your car runs out of gas from idling 8 hours with your music blasting. Dumbasses.
@RocktheCatbox,
LOL true! and don’t be anywhere downtown… club BP and ish… smh.
oh and i made sure to pay my ticket in cash this time. a few years ago i got a parking ticket at that same office downtown with my debit card… do you know a few days later my bank’s fraud dept called me like “umm have you been buying Coach purses and ipods?” these ignant workers basically went on a shopping spree on my behalf. i only use that account for bills so luckily they were on it and handled it, but that is a dang shame. only in detroit.
@Muze,
Hell nawl @ Coach purses and ipods. I cannot believe…well yes I can. Well the coach purse is the one and only staple of wealth for the ninja female, no matter if she’s head to toe in JCPenny, having that coach purse means you are classy, independent and not like those other hoes.
@RocktheCatbox,
I’ll never forget when dudes were shooting dice at the gas station on 75 and jefferson on friday night. The whole gas station was packed.
@RocktheCatbox,
“1. The mall. White kids are kleptos”
Word. I’ve worked retail before and I’m surprised how Black folks get stereotyped as thieves. 2520s get their boost on. At both retail jobs that I had 2520s stole just as much if not more than ninjas.
@Humble_One,
Yeah, at least we steal because we’re poor. White people steal for fun or when they’re tired of smoking meth.
@RocktheCatbox,
FOTB Asians:
1. The highway. .
BWhahahahahahaha!
@RocktheCatbox,
“2. The public library (somehow gangs of teenage ninjas congregate here, not to read, just standing around being ninjerly)”
Add ninjerly homeless cats to this group too. There’s nothing more disturbing than watching a librarian get sexually harassed by some old cat who looks like Ol’ Dirty and Mudfoot Brown’s love child. Sh*t ain’t right!
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
*DEAD*
I would like a rule that forbids ninjas from applying to jobs at major corporations (all companies) in person if you are not dressed appropriately. Specifically, do not roll up on Wall Street in your “pants on the ground” jeans and Ed Hardy hat looking for employment. I do not care if you applying for an entry-level housekeeping job. Professionalism exist even if you are paid hourly!
@NYLegalDude, you know, some dudes really just dont know better. which is sad.
learn all this shit about europe in high school but nobody tells you how to dress for a job interview. schools teach the wrong shit.
2. Bank
If banks instituted a no-ghetto-attitude policy (only banks located in the hood), do you realize how much faster you’d get your money? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been waiting in line behind some woman who is convinced that the bank is stealing her money and then the neck-snap and roll comes followed by a loudcapping and security guards inching closer to my locale.
This rule needs to be implemented in all banks, not just the banks in the hood. Ghetto goes to work, too. While I was in the bank yesterday, this lady gets in line behind me. First of all, she was standing too damn close. Seriously, the bank should have a rule about personal space. Then, this “lady” began huffing and puffing, and whining and complaining about the long wait. Nevermind that she had been there all of 2 minutes. “All these people working in here, and only 2 windows open.” And she didn’t whisper any of this, oh no, chick was all loud & sh*t. And did I mention she was standing too close to me during all of this? Just loud, ghetto, complaining. smh…
Where do we need rules?
1. Any place where you have to stand in line. post office, bank, funeral procession, etc.
@N.I.A. naturally, black folks and lines man. we just dont like ‘em
Funerals. I cannot tell you how my family acted liked some damn fools when one of my cousins passed away a few years ago. Funerals are not the place to display new outfits; debut your new boo; reconcile/start shit with your mother; surprise your family because you’ve gotten out of jail early on good behavior; show up with the former paster of said Church as your date with whom you’ve been having an affair; go postal on your mother in-law; and finally, a funeral is NOT the place to try and seek custody of your children.
Each and every one of those events happened at that funeral. Ask me if I was in pews laughing. Yup. Now ask me why I refuse to tell them ninjas where I live….
@Pe. Riche.,
“show up with the former paster of said Church as your date with whom you’ve been having an affair”
i know somebody who did this!! o__O
@Pe. Riche.,
This sounds like one heyll of a funeral.
The repast musta been bananas.
@Pe. Riche.,
Agreed with funerals. Also, even if the people are not satisfied with the service, there should be a rule that states that the people can’t beat up the pastor afterwards because it was terrible. Just grief, don’t get violent after.
@Pe. Riche., whoa!
@Pe. Riche.,
WOWSER! Dare I say, this funeral sounds rather entertaining!!
@Pe. Riche.,
I missed the rule book on funeral behavior. I didn’t realize it was your duty to compete for the “best performance at a funeral” Oscar when your brother dies. Never mind that for the past 4 years you proudly told people how you can’t stand his triflin ass and went out of your way to avoid him. Now you all on the floor talking ’bout how you’d give anything to get him back?
@Pe. Riche., hmm..i thought funerals were EXACTLY where all that behavior was supposed to happen.
funerals are like Bossip in 3D.
@Panama Jackson, ~ funerals are like Bossip in 3D. *dead*
@Pe. Riche., I’ve never been to a funeral this entertaining!! Wow. Sounds hilarious
1. Any establishment run by foreigners.
I’ve same numerous female ninjas behave rudely to the Dominicans in the doobie shop….or Raheem an’em (and them) yelling at Habeeb because the chicken shack ran out of biscuits…or the ninja’s who treat China man like ish as he’s placing his order. I can’t stand this type of behavior in general…but particularly from ignant arse people that can barely speak correctly.
2. Events where there is free food.
I almost lost my life over a crab leg at some fraternity event I attended w/ my brother over the summer. Not only was the food free…it wasn’t enough! It was pure mayhem. They announced the food was being served, and the crowd resembled the stampede from The Lion King. People shoving me in line…cutting the line…trying to find ways around the line. We just gave up…left…and went to Applebees.
@La Bakir,
“1. Any establishment run by foreigners.”
I’ve seen this too. I’ve seen women call the cashier choi-yoing. Just people being mad rude and disrespectful. Same thing with the cleaners. I don’t understand how you can talk ish to the person serving you?
@Humble_One, Seriously…I just don’t get it. Besides that fact that it’s just disrespectful…I am never rude to anyone serving me food or doing my hair…you just never know. They may get pissed off and do some foul ish!
@La Bakir, free events never have enough food.
@Panama Jackson, that would only be Ninja events that have free food, i have been to more than one predominantly yt event & there was still food when the event was done…so that there comment from you was just a tad ninja-ish, just sayin
” I come up hard, baby
But now I’m cool
I didn’t make it, sugar
Playin’ by the rules”
@OrangeStar616, trouble man? i agree??
lol. boosie bad azz or buddy guy?
@Panama Jackson, *nods head* yessir!
Reservation-Required Restaurants-
Don’t try to host your birthday party at a restaurant and have your guests pay for their own meals. When the bill comes due, everybody is arguing, “MoFo, you had the prime rib…” or “I ain’t paying for my____…that shit was nasty” while the plate is empty. Ninja’s dont seem to realize that a gratuity is automatically added to parties of more that 6. I witnessed a table of 12 celebrate a woman’s birthday. When the waiter brought the bill, the birthday girl CLOWNED about the gratuity being automatically added to the bill. Now, keep in mind that this is an old-school Italian restaurant in Metro Detroit. They don’t play that Sh*&!!! Jimmy Hoffa, anyone?! Vito in the back must have heard the commotion because once he came out, the bill magically got paid.
@Karen R.,
This made me laugh for like 30 seconds…hilarious!!!
@Karen R.,
bwahahaha! this ALWAYS happens! smh. and not just on birthdays… any restaurant where 4 or more ninjas are consuming at the same table at the same time… there will be bill and gratuity issues.
@Karen R.,
If you are to do this it’s better to do separate bills. Whenever everything is on one bill someone always seems to skip out on it. I really hate that. A few times I have came out of my pocket to make up the difference just because I felt bad for the person that got left with the bill. They invited you and you left them hanging.
@Karen R.,
Speaking of gratuities, it reminds me of a group outting in college. Everyone gets their bill and some dude in the group gets irrate screaming ’bout “Gravity, I ain’t paying for no damn gravity!” It was an embarrassing moment for all.
@Caballeroso,
Nooo!!!!!
Gravity?
*__________*
@Caballeroso,
This
“Gravity, I ain’t paying for no damn gravity!”
is the comment of the day. I was in tears and had to shut my office door.
@Caballeroso,
gravity…**dead**
I thought this guy that didn’t get gratuity was a percentage was the worse but gravity tops that
@Caballeroso,
LOL! That’s some classic ninja ish…
Bond.
@Karen R., this only happens with parties that have majority women populations.
word.life.
welcome and sh*t
@Panama Jackson, sooo not true!!!
just saw this happen in MIA superbowl weekend with a group of 5-6 dudes. Had me wondering about my friend since they were his buddies. And this was a like a Cuban deli were talking under $10 per person.
@Karen R.,
the ignant bill split is my biggest pet peeve. I’ve had this happen more times than I care to remember (have a great story about a rehersal dinner i attended where the GUESTS were told to pay!!) thus I am very cautious with whom I go out to eat. For some reason it is most upsetting to me when dudes argue over a check.
Rules to prevent this:
-NEVER order something you can’t pay for!!
-Likewise if you broke don’t come. ( if 1/6 of the 18% gratuity is gonna break you, you broke)
-don’t invite your broke friends to come along
-never go out in parties larger than 5
-never invite a dude who ain’t balling (but who wants to act like he is) to an all girl dinner/happy hour
-don’t invite folks who can’t do simple math
-and MOST importantly always have cash so you can put down your portion and be out!
2. Bank
If banks instituted a no-ghetto-attitude policy (only banks located in the hood), do you realize how much faster you’d get your money? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been waiting in line behind some woman who is convinced that the bank is stealing her money and then the neck-snap and roll comes followed by a loudcapping and security guards inching closer to my locale.
CO.SIGN.
as someone who worked at a bank for three years, i will definitely amen this one. it is not my fault that you “thought” you had $300 and only had $3.00 and now have $250 in fees. it is not my fault that your cousin’s baby’s mama’s boyfriend wrote you a bad $75 check for that $50 worth of food stamps/bridge card usage you gave. NO i can’[t just ‘give you the whole ten’ when you only have $9.21 in your account.
w.t.f. i could go on for days. lol
i’ve seen one whole family of 5 come in and each take the last 3-5 dollars out of their account to get two $10 tickets to see T.I. at Mich State. announcing it to the world like “yeahhh das my babydaddy and i WILL spend my last on his fine azz!” this was said LOUDLY by the rainbow-haired chick as the rest clucked in agreement.
but in general, the impatience (why bring your unemployed, pajama bottom wearing arse up here at noon when EVERYBODY who has a job is making a lunch run to the bank and then complain that it’s “too damn crowded.”) is astounding. this one young girl said “this b*tch think she’s bout to get in front of me, oh hayle nah” to her friend about an old white lady waiting that was AT LEAST 85 and half blind… she didn’t even know where the dang line was.
whew.
and i will add that this bank is nowhere near the hood. iongetit.
@Muze, Bwahahahaha… hi-larious!
“NO i can’[t just ‘give you the whole ten’ when you only have $9.21 in your account.”
People don’t really do dat do dey… nah for real, dey don’t right?
@Muze,
OMG I used to work at a bank….in the hood. Oh the stories I could tell. I loved working there though. Every single day was entertaining. Not to mention I can’t count the number of contact highs I caught.
@V Renee,
LMBO… GIRL. i KNOW i must have ‘laundered’ at least a hunnid grand of drug monies… (if you count weed money as ‘drug’ money). one guy used to bring it all rubber-banded up and everything. hilarious. whomever took his deposit would always have to immediately go put it in the vault and wash our hands bc the smell was that strong. smh.
@Muze,
“NO i can’[t just ‘give you the whole ten’ when you only have $9.21 in your account.”
Are you serious? They didn’t ask you that did they?
@Humble_One, @Yeah…SO!?!
YES. this actually happened. i couldn’t believe it either. dude was really stating his case too, trying to convince me that it was no big deal. so bad to the point that the person standing in line behind him offered to give him 79cents to move his arse along. smh.
@Muze,
“i’ve seen one whole family of 5 come in and each take the last 3-5 dollars out of their account to get two $10 tickets to see T.I. at Mich State. announcing it to the world like “yeahhh das my babydaddy and i WILL spend my last on his fine azz!” this was said LOUDLY by the rainbow-haired chick as the rest clucked in agreement”
DEAD!!!
Ummm how about the local bodega in Crown Heights, BK… True story – I was there the other day waiting on a sammich and this ninja on the phone yellin all loud talmbout:
“Yo, I hate when I’m tight with my b*tch son! (for those who are unfamiliar, “tight” means mad in NY hood slang) Yeah…I hate when I’m tight with my bitch… Yeah son, I took 3 e pills last night and aint get no p*ssy son!!! No p*ssy son!!”
*Ninja starts yellin at dude behind the counter to hurry up. Arab dude tells ninja he needs to chill*
Ninja says: “Yo, I’ll break all this shit (referring to the glass) right now and come back and pay for it. What son!”
Sigh… good Lord people. We have just got to do better. That sh*t was one of the most belligerent displays of hood ig-nance i’ve ever seen… I couldn’t make this sh*t up if I tried, it was like an episode of Dave Chappelle with “Tron” in it
@BKSweetheart, you know you folks in NY are extra impatient and loud though. lol.
@BKSweetheart, -being a former New Yorker myself…..”Ninja says: “Yo, I’ll break all this shit (referring to the glass) right now and come back and pay for it. What son!”…… DEAD AT THIS…..NY Ninjas are the realest just thinkin they can eff ish up & then come back & fix it…….*SMDH fo real…
1. Chinese Food Buffet.
It seems like ninjas don’t know how to carry themselves in their. e.g. the single mother with 3 kids that grabs a heaping plate full of crab legs and sends each of her kids to get a heaping plate full of crab legs. What ends up happening? No one else at the buffet gets crab legs.
2. Free Grilled Chicken at KFC
I pretty sure everyone is familiar with what happened
3. Fast Food restaurants
3a. Why is it that ninjas take it personal if there is a mistake with their order? The person taking your order doesn’t know you. They did not go out of their way to mess up your order. It isn’t necessary to go in and throw the food back at them or curse them out.
3b. Maybe your order wouldn’t have been messed up if you didn’t try to order your cheeseburger gourmet at lunch time. Ninjas kill me going to Wendy’s or McDonalds asking for a hamburger made of fine malaysian beef marinated for 2 years with onions sauteed in the Sicilian olive oil on french artisan bread cut in half.
@Humble_One,
LMAO @ 3b….but 2520′s are guilty of that too!
I used to work at Mickey D’s in high school…and damnit if them crackies didn’t come in there asking for veggie sammiches and grilled cheese sammiches…WTF?!!! This ain’t Panera Bread!
@La Bakir,
I didn’t know 2520s were guilty of this too. I bet they didn’t ask to have a fresh order of fries made just for them?
@Humble_One, YES! without salt…so that means the fry bin needs to be clean before dumping the fries in…lol
Seriously I think if more folk, of ALL races, classes, cultures etc just had a basic level of respect for next human being, the world would be a much better place..kumbahya!
@OrangeStar616, yeah yeah, but then what would we write about?
@Panama Jackson, LOVE you say, love again, love some more, high haute couture fashion, and all forms of art of course, what else??? LOL
@OrangeStar616,
I’ma kumbaya right next to you. Common courtesy goes a loooong way.
ok so this is my last true story of the day. lol.
i am a volleyball coach and one of my babies wanted to get birth control but didn’t have means or a way. so i got permission from her ‘i don’t giveadamnwhatchudo’ mother to take her to Planned Parenthood to get pills a couple weeks ago.
we’re waiting in the lobby and a dude (in a matching jean jacket and jeans set with print all over it no less) walks in and goes right up to the counter, phone to his ear and taps the glass to get the clerk’s attn. exchange went as follows:
ninja: :yo my girl needs an appointment! today!
lady: okay sir, we don’t take walk-ins today, we can see her tomorrow. is she here to fill out paperwork?
ninja: nah! she on the phone.. but it can’t wait til tomorrow, yall need to see her ass today!…forreal this some bullsh*t.
lady: well sir we don’t take walk-ins on weds so she will have to come tomorrow. what’s the problem?
(girl is saying something loudly through the phone all this while)
ninja (to girl on phone): what the f*ck was that you said you got? *turns back to woman behind glass* yo she got that sh*t… that cla-mid-day-uh sh*t. however the f*ck you say it. i already got an appointment with my fa-zis-shun (physician) later today, but you gotta check this b*tch out. my bad this chick.
lady: sir just have a seat, but we need her to come fill out some paperwork…
ninja: nah man she can’t walk! that cla-mid-day-uh is eating her sh*t up! i ain’t lyin!
the poor lady just looked like she wanted to quitlife. trying to talk to him quietly but he kept yelling for the whole neighborhood to hear. everybody was dying. and he was slaying me with the mispronunciation of every word more than two syllables long. my vball baby is STILL laughing.
smh.
we gotta do betta.
@Muze, Shame and a scandal!
SB: Volleyball? I volleyball. Looking for a place to play…preferably during the week
@La Bakir, @Muze
Both of you play volleyball? The VSB’s approve of this. Especially if you played for the Cuban or Brazilian volleyball teams.
@La Bakir, @Humble_One
yay volleyball! if you were in michigan i’d have a whole slew of places for you to play.
yes, i’ve played volleyball since 7th grade, including college. been coaching for 5 years now.
no better sport.
@Muze, Awww man. I wish I was in Michigan…lol. I’m having trouble finding places in NJ. At the YMCA they play on Sunday nights…but sometimes it’s difficult to get there. Sundays are busy for me and the last thing I wanna do is go play volleyball at 7:30pm.
I started playing sophomore year in high school until freshman year in college. I still love it though. Gave up my hoop dreams for it,lol.
@Muze, I am in Michigan and I want to get my volleyball on!!
@Muze,
“ninja: nah man she can’t walk! that cla-mid-day-uh is eating her sh*t up! i ain’t lyin!”
OMG!!!! I woulda been no more good after that.
CTFU
@miss t-lee,
i think i died three times during the time he was there. i don’t remember all the ignant stuff he said but wow… it just kept getting worse.
@Muze,
I would have had to pull a camera out and record that conversation. Without trying to hide the fact I was doing so…….Wow. I guess there wasn’t any shame in his game!
@V Renee,
LOL i was trying to pull out the Berry and do a voicenote, but he was kinda big and referring to his own woman as “this b*tch” so i figured i’d rather keep all my teeth.
@Muze,
“(girl is saying something loudly through the phone all this while)
ninja (to girl on phone): what the f*ck was that you said you got? *turns back to woman behind glass* yo she got that sh*t… that cla-mid-day-uh sh*t. however the f*ck you say it. i already got an appointment with my fa-zis-shun (physician) later today, but you gotta check this b*tch out. my bad this chick.”
This is crazy. Was this a young or older guy?
@Humble_One,
he was definitely older than me. so i’d say about 33ish. now… i was in Ypsi at the time… so that kind of explains a lot. lol
@Muze,
Well damn.
And I concur, we must. But I can’t help but sometimes wonder, if it will get even worse before it gets/we do better….sigh.
@Muze,” but you gotta check this b*tch out. my bad this chick.”- PLEASEEE tell me he didn’t correct himself on the b*tch comment….like NOW he has some sort of ninja-decorum….now just like your v-ball baby , I too am & will be still laughing..
You got that right about church. I was just telling a friend how I visited a new church on Sunday and I thought I was at a Katt Wiliams concert. The ushers, the nurses,I mean everybody was on their cell phone..LOUD! Women were coming in dressed like they seriously made a wrong turn and meant to go to a after hours cabaret, but then caught the holy ghost 2 minutes after getting there, it was a mess.
I will have to add public transportation.
Most days I have my mp3 player in so I never even hear anything on my ride to work. It is my zone-out-and-get-ready-for-work-time. Well today, my mp3 is actin up so I leave it at home.
I knew trouble was brewing when I saw this large girl and her friend trying to wave down the bus. The driver stopped and waited. Upon sitting down, everyone was greeted with a story about how someone’s kids need to clean up the house for they mama who is crying because of something or other. The reason I know this much is because they were talking so loudly. No one really cares whats going on in our lives enough to hear us talk about it in such a public space.
My favorite event was when I was at the DC Improv to see Cheryl Underwood. I even predicted it before it was even evident.
They save the tables next to the stage for groups of four. It’s that simple. You are a group of four, you get the table. If not, then you’ve got to find another table to sit at.
I watched couple after couple argue with the host about trying to sit there but they kept enforcing the policy.
It got close to show time I and I told my date, “Watch, I bet you a bunch of white people are going to show up late and get the best seats in the house, and everyone will flip that they did.”
Sure enough, not five minutes later two groups of four white people showed up and got the best two tables in the place.
I laughed.
I told my date to watch everyone’s expressions and you could feel the hate being aimed at them.
@Shawn Smith, smart thing to do would have been to join up with another couple
“3 completely practical reasons why he’s with a white woman”
Sorry I know i am stupid late but I missed this last week, didn;t comment at all last week but I had that very thought this morning about someone whom I was feeling at one point, he told me he was dating a becky, that works with my agency..I just O_o and hit him with the peace sign, see you later..
Truth be told that mofo had less than an average dyck size, aka small, yes I know cause I felt it @ full attention and was not impressed, a big dyck gives a b*cth pause, and I didn’t skip a beat, but I digress, so I said figures, LOL plus they are both divorcees (sp) etc
so my answer to this topic from last week is a question, what is a small penis for 2000 Alex??? LLS
So one of my boys tells me of a tory that went down over the weekend. He goes to a local Hibbett Sports to cop a pair of Chucks. He’s waiting in line when the following niggardom ensued:
Female employee: You know Darnell think he all smart now. He be actin’ funny since he started going to college… reading all those books and stuff.
Male employee: Well, he may be tryna be one of those… ummm… what you call it? Fillosoffers.
Female employee: Fillosoffer? What’s that?
Male employee: I don’t know, but they say Martin Luffa Kang was a Fillosoffer
Female employee: Well, Darnell ain’t no Martin Luffa Kang!
*Done aaaaaand… DONE!
@SouthernCharm,
*story
I very recently discovered VSB and had to chime in and co-sign on Chinese Buffets since I just came from lunch and this chick was in there barefoot. Needless to say she was giving everybody who was looking at her Fred Flintsone feet the screwface. I don’t know what happened to the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rule but it needs to be reinstituted real quick.
All of the wait staff looked like they were afraid to approach her and I lost my apetite at the sight of her crusty dogs. As I was leaving and trying to keep my food down I passed another chick in pajama bottoms and a matching baby tee. I mean if you’re gonna take out time to make sure you’re wearing matching houseclothes in public why not just get dressed?! I’m just saying.
While I know we’re not genetically predisposed to our more triflin’ ways, sometimes I wonder if our people can’t help but be fawked up. I said that to a sister on Twitter and she looked at me like I was the world’s greatest self-hater and a Nazi sympathizer…chick eventually blocked me. Guess my style of bringing views just annoyed her.
But I definitely think we need rules on:
-how to deal with people who aren’t “exactly like us.” There’s no need to call up your thesaurus of pejoratives because you can’t handle things you didn’t grow up with.
-what stores are for. Can ninjas kindly not act like the keyboard section of Guitar Center is their lab to make beats in all afternoon?
-hypocrisy and double standards. How can you be racist towards Latinos & Asians yet dare anyone to be racist towards Blacks?
We need to get our decorum bars up as a people in general.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame), You speak the truth. Its funny but it is sad.
@Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame),
“how to deal with people who aren’t “exactly like us.” There’s no need to call up your thesaurus of pejoratives because you can’t handle things you didn’t grow up with.”
Word. I had an experience with my ex. Black folks to this to each other too.
I <3 this site!! First time poster here…hello all VSBs and VSSs. You all are quite simply awesome. I have been reading these comments all day and I think I may get spoken to at work…lol.
Anyhow, major cosign on everything. Living in South FL, ChuckE Cheese is just a "NOT" out here for anyone who values their health..farreal tho..
@Muze, "she looked like she wanted to quit life" I am literally still wiping the tears from my face on this one. I haven't laughed like that in a lil while. Thank u from the bottom of my heart : )
No fine dining establishments. Youcan;t wear baggy Khakis or Dockers with a necktie, no matter how much swag you think you have. Not to mention that the restaurant does not have “scrimp” and hot sauce on the menu. Fries are not the side dish for a meal and no checking your gold tooth in the spoon, to make sure it is clean.
Don’t know if anyone said this already, but Twitter. Hands down. Twitter is a pretty enlightening place for me, albeit a few scoundrels that have made their way into my timeline. However, I was looking at a friend’s timeline the other day, and lawdamercy! The friend describes himself as “Chi-tizzle all day er’day, I wear it on my back” and from just one glance, I felt like going “HAM” on somebody, eating Taco Burrito King constantly, and just all-around felt angry and destructive. I scrambled away from the hood Twitter back to my place of sanity and white-picket fences Mister Rogers neigborhood Twitter with the quickness. So where shouldn’t ni**as be able to go without rules? Twitter. It ain’t for everybody.
@Caballeroso
“Ok, while I’ve seen plenty of us acting bad at the movies, I can honestly say that every time someone has answered the phone and held an actual conversation at a movie I went to, it was a caucasian. Further, when I went to the movie and two guys got to fighting, I’m proud to say, it was hispanic vs. caucasian. It’s sad that we have to celebrate the occasions that don’t involve us when it comes to public “ignance”, but it’s refreshing to know that it’s not just us doing dumb shyt.”
Actually, in my experience I’ve seen more of us do this kind of thing. Understandably, I know things can occur…come up at any moment, but to be outright inconsiderate that other folks ARE trying to watch the “movin’ pic-cha show” (now channeling my inner “old head”). However, I will say its usually the younger crowd…and honestly I don’t really focus a whole lot on their skin tones; it’s just an observation. But bottom line, that there ^^^ can get on a gal’s nerves after awhile…that’s all.
However, with that being said, I notice anytime I hear of some unfortunate news, crime, etc…mentally I’m thinking: “Please don’t let it be one of us…” while my folks quickly and automatically ask (first thing out of their mouths) —-> “Is s/he white or black?” In my mind, I’m thinking man, that’s really sad…do we really have to ask THAT…as if it changes the outcome. But then again, sadly….little innuendos prove even in 2010, that it sometimes does (effect the outcome of one’s fate).
@Caballeroso
“Ok, while I’ve seen plenty of us acting bad at the movies, I can honestly say that every time someone has answered the phone and held an actual conversation at a movie I went to, it was a caucasian. Further, when I went to the movie and two guys got to fighting, I’m proud to say, it was hispanic vs. caucasian. It’s sad that we have to celebrate the occasions that don’t involve us when it comes to public “ignance”, but it’s refreshing to know that it’s not just us doing dumb shyt.”
Actually, in my experience I’ve seen more of us do this kind of thing. Understandably, I know things can occur…come up at any moment, but to be outright inconsiderate that other folks ARE trying to watch the “movin’ pic-cha show” (now channeling my inner “old head”). However, I will say its usually the younger crowd…and honestly I don’t really focus a whole lot on their skin tones; it’s just an observation. But bottom line, that there ^^^ can get on a gal’s nerves after awhile…that’s all.
However, with that being said, I notice anytime I hear of some unfortunate news, crime, etc…mentally I’m thinking: “Please don’t let it be one of us…” while my folks quickly and automatically ask (first thing out of their mouths) —-> “Is s/he white or black?” In my mind, I’m thinking man, that’s really sad…do we really have to ask THAT…as if it changes the outcome. But then again, sadly….little innuendos prove even in 2010, that it sometimes does (effect the outcome of one’s fate).
I have to tell this story. Lets add meetings to the list.
Why I go to a membership meeting for first-timers and we all mix and mingle and sit down at tables. This Aunt Bess commented to the leaders in front of the WHOLE ROOM ” ..OOo You see..We still up in segregation cause da White folk don’ wanna sit with us!” Well your negro bumbaclot behind CHOSE to sit at the ALL BLACK TABLE. While the rest of us mixed and mingled. I saw the black table but then I was like..naw…Let me say AKWARD SILENCE (after her comment) and all the white, latino AND BLACK people were cringing. Well, I was like..”sooooo what about Jesus..” and tried to take the pressure off. Thank GOD the leaders were gracious and put her in her place in a nice way.