Where The Hell Is Panama Jackson, Explained » VSB

Featured, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

Where The Hell Is Panama Jackson, Explained

Who is Panama Jackson?

He’s the lightskint half of VSB. You may remember him from such luminary documentaries as “The Other Splash Brother” and “I Know You Hear Me Looking At You: A DC Gentrification Story”.

Okay, well, where the hell has he been?

As you can tell, he cares about DC’s gentrification problem, so he has decided to singlehandedly try to keep DC as Black as possible by having as many kids as possible.


Well, on May 13th, Panama’s third child, and second son was born.

Three kids? Who does that anymore? He’s fertile. 

Yes. Yes, he is.

But, what does having another kid have to do with being absent from VSB for so long? He’s just writing posts. How hard can that be?

Harder than you might think. See, Panama is on “paternity” leave, which means that he’s been at home doing his duty to help mommy out as much as possible because there now exists one hell of a full house over there in SE DC. Not only that, but “paternity” leave is more of a symbolic thing because he’s been doing his DAY job along with his home job for the past 3 weeks AT HOME. It’s hard to sit down and focus on writing when you’ve got screaming babies, screaming bosses, and household duties that need taking care of. He might be as handsome as Superman, but Panama is only a man.

Sounds like a lot of excuses to me.

You’re right. It does.

So you’re saying that Panama basically just took a flier on VSB-related work since his son was born. Not cool, man. Not cool. He should be used to this baby life by now.

This is a fair point. And what you’d be surprised by is that while he hasn’t been writing, nearly every single day has been full of OTHER VSB related activities. He and Damon have spent more time on the telephone talking to people about VSB’s future than you can shake a stick at. When he’s not writing, he’s editing and posting pieces from other writers and sought out new writers between diaper changes and handing the new baby off to mommy and saying, “I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m going to Taco Bell.” He also managed to get in an appearance on a podcast hosted by the one and only, Obsidian. The entire 2.5 hours that I was on the show can be found here. And no, you didn’t read that wrong. I was on for almost 3 hours. Believe it or not, it’s not because Obsidian was talking the whole time. He was probably the least talkative person on the show, at least on this particular show.

And he’s been planning the VSB Podcast series: “VSB + Friends” and “Conversate With P”, which will be coming soon to your earbuds and computer speakers. So as you can see, he’s not been totally shiftless.

Okay, okay. So he’s not totally full of shit. At least he’s been doing something. Anything else worthy of note? All we know around here is that he’s left Damon with all of the heavy lifting. Truth be told, we thought Damon kicked him out of the group but still let him stay around on the official stationary and shit to be nice.

I’m sure Damon was annoyed with the absence but he’s aware of what’s happening and when he’s not throwing an errant curse word into a post, he’s a pretty understanding fellow. Luckily he and Damon were able to have a drink together to commemorate Panama’s aint-shit-ness during his birthday shenanigans this past weekend. Panama turned 37 (!!!!) on June 3rd and had a big ass happy hour on the 4th in DC that ended with Panama literally going to sleep in the venue because of too much Bulleit bourbon consumption. They took a few pictures and it was pointed out that they always take the same picture in the same poses no matter where they go. They need a new schtick.

Well, this was all well and good and shit, but is Panama back from his bullshit baby hiatus?

He thinks so. He’s finally started going to back to work at his day job where he does all of his writing because his home is full of babies who love him and require all of his time and attention.

He should do better.

He will try.

Filed Under: , ,
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Congrats on baby number tree!

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    AWWWWW! Congrats!! All is forgiven.

  • Epsilonicus

    This dude did a podcast with Obsidian?!?!?! That is wild!!!

    • -h.h.h.-

      i may have to check on what O’s been up to.

    • cakes_and_pies

      That’s the only thing that stood out to me.. My face got real sour in a milisecond

      • NonyaB

        Yep. Like I said above, I’ll take Panamayne’s word about it being nice but I’ll skip and await a VSB podcast instead.

        • panamajackson

          Fair enough. But it was a pretty civil convo. Shoot, Obsidian really only asked questions. He didn’t really go in or anything in the way you’d think he would considering former posts here on VSB.

          • Hugh Akston

            Believe it or not I got word of this site from O a while back…from j4g? Unsure been a while three hours though? Might have to download that for my flight this week

            Oh and congrats on keeping the human race alive… keep up the good

          • cakes_and_pies

            I just listened to one of his shorter podcasts based off of a post here. He still hates Black woman. I’m good.

            • AnswerMe

              Anyway you could tell a curious young lady the title of the podcast? :)

              • cakes_and_pies

                This is the one I’m talking about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F40lkn2JKzY

                • AnswerMe

                  Preciate ya

                • AnswerMe

                  Sheesh. Only three minutes in and cringing.

                • L8Comer

                  Why did I even press play??? lol, I must be in a hate-listening type of mood

                  • kingpinenut

                    i ain’t even pressin play….

                    • cakes_and_pies

                      If you never heard of him, just reading the youtube comments would make anyone’s skin crawl.

                • Val

                  I always heard his voice as an old church deacon’s voice in my head. Lol He sounds fairly young.

                  • cakes_and_pies

                    This was my first time hearing his voice. All I hear is bitterness.

                    • Val

                      Bitterness and delusion. Smh.

                • I feel for sisters… I really do…. Dudes like this THINK that they are doing sisters a favor when in all actuality…THEY are the cast offs.. Ain’t nobody checking for your lame a$$.

                  Just ugh..it’s my birthday and this fool just pi$$ed me off.

                • Ess Tee

                  This photo still, tho? “The brothas ain’t missing nothin'”? Wow.

          • Lol Obs was the least vicious. The girl on the podcast was the one throwing the most punches. I think she’s a pr0nstar right? Mercedes Carrera?

            • panamajackson

              Yeah. She was going extra hard in the paint. I don’t know who she was, but I also realized early on we were going to completely disagree.

      • who’s baby is this? lmao!

        • cakes_and_pies

          I have no idea, but this little boy pulls no punches in this expression

      • Epsilonicus

        Immma listen. I wanna see how the two interacted

      • nillalatte

        lmao… exactly.

    • Lol I actually called in…

      • panamajackson

        You called into the show? What did you think?

        • It was cool. Though I think it would help to have someone manage callers. You know have a segment where folks talk for a bit, then have a segment for commenters to chime in.

          • panamajackson

            Yeah. I agree. There was a lot going on at some points and it was difficult to keep up with it all.

    • Cleojonz

      I wish I had time to listen to podcasts. Too many forms of media, not enough time.

    • Tee

      I came in on the tail end of the Obsidian-era but I heard the stories.

      • Val

        Consider yourself fortunate.

        • kingpinenut

          it was a hard time….lawd

          • Epsilonicus

            Wasn’t that hard. I liked watching the fireworks

        • Tee

          I do, Val. I do.

        • writtenbyBene

          This. He trolls and stalks black women for fun, particularly black feminists. Years ago I got his wack blog shut down because he used unauthorized photos of me in his many posts attacking me. Something is legit not right w/dude.

      • Ess Tee

        Same. Actually, I think I missed that era completely. But the tales? Ohhhh, the tales.

    • Val

      I thought I dreamed that part of the post.


      • PhlyyPhree

        Mee toooooo. I thought maybe it was penance for some sin we didn’t know he committed.

    • Buster Cannon

      *Googles Obsidian out of curiosity*

      • TJ84

        Glad I’m not the only one…

      • Brass Tacks

        I vaguely remember Obsidian. But he kinda disappeared as I was becoming active. Him and another guy….Geoffrey? I think his name was.

        But I don’t know enough about them or their comments to understand what is causing the commotion.

        • nillalatte

          I would tell you about Obi, but it wouldn’t be flattering. He and I had a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship. But, he swooped on me a couple of times to save the chick in the comments. He ain’t all bad. LOL

  • Kat

    Baby pictures or it didn’t happen…

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      Baby pics of a baby in a “VSB bougie baby” onsie at that.

    • Charles Johnson

      baby needs a i love bougie black girls t-shirt as proof. can’t have you trumping along putting some random kid all up on my computer screen.

      • Mabelrcampbell3

        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tl60ur

        two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !tl60u:?:?:.?.?.?.? http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsNetGetPay$98Hour…. .????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!tl60o….,….

      • Barbara White

        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tl607ur

        two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !tl607u:?:?:.?.?.?.? http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsStoreGetPay$98Hour…. .????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!tl607o….,

    • cryssi

      We ain’t eva gettin those, lol

    • LMNOP

      I love baby pictures, but, as a paranoid parent myself, I respect Panama’s decision not to have pictures of his children all over the Internet.

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    You kinda look like Papoose in that pic….well, before you erased your face.

    • Brass Tacks


      • ChokeOnThisTea

        The shades and the cap.

        • Brass Tacks

          Oh. cool. I was studying the pic like where? lol

          • ChokeOnThisTea


  • A.G.

    I cannot wait for both podcasts!! I’m so excited!

  • Sigma_Since 93

    You may be on leave but your still shaving. When are you going to provide your Bevel summary?

    • This!

    • panamajackson

      Hopefully this week. I definitely used it and I have opinions!

    • kingpinenut

      Bevel is life for real man…

      • Sigma_Since 93

        You don’t have to convince me man…I’m drinking the Tristan kool-aid. I’m salty I recommended it to PJ and he gets the hook -up. Tristan if you are reading this, I need the hook up on the edger.

        • kingpinenut

          Back in the 90’s Men’s Health did an article on shaving that was basically what Bevel is doing.

          Only Bevel is doing it so much better and easier.

          • panamajackson

            See…I’m not exactly thinking its the bomb.com. Review coming soon.

            • kingpinenut

              Lol I saw your “I have opinions” and belly rolled.

  • Detroit Skater


  • -h.h.h.-

    champ wrote the questions, right?

    cograts man and happy birthday

  • PriceIsRightHorns

    Peej! Happy belated birthday.

More Like This