Tinder: Where The Dreams Of Meeting My Bougie Black Prince Go To Die » VSB

Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Featured, Theory & Essay

Tinder: Where The Dreams Of Meeting My Bougie Black Prince Go To Die

Within the past 48 hours, I’ve decided I’m going to be chaste and devote my life to God, because this dating thing is entirely too much.

It should be noted that for the most part, I hate dating. I hate the horse-and-pony show aspect of the early stages, the faux nonchalance, the job interview feel of it. I get tired just thinking of the time wasted getting ready for someone who you might find slightly more interesting than a soggy box of rocks. I’d rather sit on my couch and eat a disturbing amount of chicken while watching a Gilmore Girls marathon.

That said, I am self-aware enough to note that all of these complaints only apply to men I don’t click with for whatever reason. And, for me to find men that I do click with, I have to continue to put myself out there to find my partner in Couch Chicken Olympics. But between working 12 hours a day, my semi-monthly attempt to stop being fat, and sleeping, (and my admittedly arbitrarily picky standards – I like what I like), I don’t find many opportunities to find my Bougie Black Prince at Fort Greene Afrobeats parties.

For the most part, I just keep on keeping on. But every few months (read: my mom turned 50 literally yesterday and has started amping up her demands on my uterus at a terrifyingly astronomical rate), I whip myself into a fever dream and find myself doing something that has empirically never worked out for me: I sign up for online dating.

The last time I did this was December 2014, when I got on OKCupid and I found myself talking to a guy who confessed that weed was his “vice” (this can’t be a thing past 25, guys) and was trying to go Kappa grad chapter. (The third strike was that he lived in Hoboken…the way my EZ-pass is set up…). Needless to say, I closed my account in under a month.

This time…I gave Tinder a run.

In my defense, it was after midnight and I had hit my head while installing my AC window unit earlier in the week…and I just watched How Stella Got Her Groove Back…and within two hours, I decided to just accept that Me, Myself, and I is all I got. Moving past the obvious Catfish (don’t make a fake profile of an ESPN sports analyst or use the picture of an ANTM contestant, I watch entirely too much TV for you to be able to successfully pull that off), and the litany of White folks (I left behind “skiing the slopes” in undergrad – NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT), a great chunk of the men I saw had me looking up YouTube videos on knitting snuggies for passive-aggressive cats.

This is the point where every friend I’ve ever had in my adult life chimes in, reverberating like the most irritated greek chorus, to remind everyone that Shamira is insufferably picky and gets in her own damn way. Which is why I came with receipts.

Let’s review as a family if I’m blocking my blessings.

1. 

—I’m not gonna lie, guys. When this profile came across my purview, I started singing to “left swipe dat.” But upon second review…there’s a special amount of industriousness in a a man that’s able to make a custom short set out of his grandmother’s old couch. The seamstress skills alone warrant reconsideration –I’m always tearing my jeans, and “a partner that does the practical things I don’t feel like handling” is pretty high on my checklist.
—Sorry for the snap judgment, Spook. We might just could’ve been great together.

2. 

–I guess I can give him some kudos for honesty. That’s all I got.
–Question: if a beard looks like it was caught in a brush fire, does it count?
–You can’t really tell from the blurred pic, but he has random facial piercings. From this point on, I am  officially not acknowledging those facial piercings. That’s between him and his God.

3.

—I just want to know why he had to specify his preferences with respect to crack addicts. Has he been burned by crack addicts in his life before? Did he fall in love at a trap house? Is his romantic history a Fetty Wap song gone horribly wrong?
—Unfortunately, we’d probably part ways at the drinking part. I like bourbon more than a little bit. It’s too bad, I’m pretty firm on the ‘Crack is Wack’ train.

4.

*clears throat*
You gotta swipe, you gotta swipe it left….
—Someone has to tell their Ghanaian uncle that no one is buying that he’s 35 as long as he’s dressed as a villain from a 90’s-era Nollywood movie. I am interested in moving back to Accra however…*scratches chin*
—Highest of fives for being able to find a pair of pants that captures the spirit of the “In Living Color” logo.
—I have no idea what to do with the intentionally placed lipstick effect on his collage. I didn’t know that was a thing men did (or anyone that wasn’t a 13 year old on MySpace).

So what say you folks? Who wins For the Love of Sham? Am I even worthy of these guys? Are men in Kwanzaa prints the wave of the future? The future of my heart is in your hands. Choose wisely.

Filed Under: ,
Shamira Ibrahim

Shamira is a twentysomething New Yorker who likes all things Dipset. You can join her in waxing poetically about chicken, Cam'ron, and gentrification (gotta have some balance) under the influence of varying amounts of brown liquor at her semi-monthly blog, shamspam.tumblr.com

  • chivalrous1won

    You think you have it bad? Imagine trying to find a lady for you and your lady…..

    • Um, you’re whining about finding unicorns? Really ninja? Really?

      • Lea Thrace

        1st world problems on fleek!

        • The stories I could tell of the BS I’ve seen. F*ck first world problems. There are some one percenter freaks who stay whining. Like your $ex life is a real life pr0n,and you’re coming to me with the BS? GTFOHWTBS!

      • uNk

        right! and Im still waiting on a reply back from somebody i text yesterday

        • Well, at least the good people in VSB are getting a glimpse of the BS one sees in alternative $exual communities…

      • chivalrous1won

        What’s a unicorn?

        • A unicorn is a swing world term for a bi$exual woman who is willing to be involved with a hetero$exual couple who is in a relationship.

          • chivalrous1won

            Oooh kinda like imaginary…..you see

          • DiamondIsMyRealName

            I know a unicorn or two! and i love using this term around people who have no idea what i’m talking about lol

  • uNk

    Lmao!! this is all jokes! Im going to go out on a limb here and assume Mr. Film Director is top 5 Diva Dudes women been warned to stay away from….s/o to his last preference in the looks department….downing skinny chicks for the win!! smh

  • Brass Tacks

    Blocking your blessings with these brothers?!…Er… No. But, I do admire the last guys attempt at bringing Zubaz pants back to the forefront of fashion.

    • Look if the flat top fade can come back, if Jamie Foxx can win an Oscar after making Booty Call, I’m not hating on the Zubaz.

      • Mimzi

        “if Jamie Foxx can win an Oscar after making Booty Call” is officially my new excuse for any and all ratchetry that I may choose to commit.

  • Every so often, my non-freak friends and my fam ask me why don’t I go out and find a regular girl. Why don’t I find someone else respectable to be a wife and stepmother. So I log into OKCupid or Tinder.

    And I’m good for a month or two.

    Don’t get it twisted. Dating for me is no crystal stair. Still, I’ll take the foolishness I can see in that scene compared to the so called normal stuff out there. Like I just want a drink or 12 looking at some of these profiles. Good to know that the ladies are in the same boat as the dudes. LOL

    • Mika

      I truly didn’t think it was hard for dudes until I saw a male friend’s dating profile and the messages he got. Like oh ok, this is just struggle all around.

      • What were the messages like?

        • Epsilonicus

          Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl

        • Mika

          LMAO i dont even know where to begin. Most of them were from women who we knew wouldnt approach him in public. Some were just indecent photos. a lot were on some #whohurtyou ish, daddy issues, baby daddy issues, i need someone to pay for my life issues. I was like OK, so yea, it does suck for yall too.

          • The baby daddy chicks are a trip. Like those poor babies are just set up for failure. The only dudes checking for that are simps and predators.

            • Mika

              LMAO word. I mean its especially hilarious cause I live in FL.

          • Ms TLC

            Wow!!

          • LMNOP

            This is the thing that is so weird to me about online dating. All these people who you KNOW would never say a word to you in public, does that ever work for any of them ever?

  • K Lust

    “my semi-monthly attempt to stop being fat” – Lmao.
    There’s nothing wrong with practice dates, but I’m not mad at liking what you like.
    Tinder is an interesting realm. Boy, I got some Tinder stories…

    • *gets popcorn*

    • uNk

      I thought about it but i just couldnt bring myself to do it

      edit note: these stories make me want to hop on for the jokes tho lol

      • K Lust

        It’s not that bad, you just gotta weed people out. I was with someone for 6 months I met off of Tinder.

        • Ms TLC

          All that “weeding out” seems like a chore!

      • Mika

        it truly does make for good entertainment when bored.

    • haute_coutoy

      *sigh* i tried tinder last year because i met two girls in one day that met their long time loves on there…clearly anomalies

  • 1. There are Afrobeat parties?!

    2. I’d prefer, if you’re absolutely committed to making hilariously awful bad dating decisions to write about, it would be with either A. The most ridiculous African “late 20 something” you could find or B. the Vaniest most self-absorbed bougie pretty boy you can find. Those would be my choices.

  • kris b.

    Yeah im 32, corporate, and weed is still my vice. Maybe thats why i’m not married. SN: Do professional men not like women who smoke trees? I have no plans on quitting EVER. Will wait for the truth, as it seems, the VSB community will unabashedly give.

    But for Tinder, ive actually met really nice prospects of African descent. You just have to have your filter up and ask exact questions to weed them out. Also, meet in a public place. Although that seems obvious, most understand these days common sense isn’t common.

    Then after the weeding and interrogation, comes body language interpretations. Yes, its work. Its also thinking someone is a potential, only to be let down. But hey, that’s the beauty of it. Meeting different personalities, and sorting out what you can and can’t deal with.

    • K Lust

      “Do professional men not like women who smoke trees? I have no plans on quitting EVER.” Girl, get out my brain. *sits back and also awaits answers cuz cant stop wont stop*

      • Teachers smoke.

        • CrankUpThe_AC

          Dude, teachers make up like 70% of all white collar weed heads.

          • Epsilonicus

            Naw. Nonprofit folks, especially people in foundations

            • CrankUpThe_AC

              lol I feel like most nonprofit folks are ex-teachers. They just get tired of saying “f*ck this sh*t” and go find a chill foundation to work at. That’s my damn dream lol

              • Epsilonicus

                Working at a foundation is my retirement job. That work is so damn easy

              • I work for one now in Dallas part time. Lovin it, str8 up.

          • LMNOP

            So that’s the secret to surviving teaching? *takes notes*

          • Have you MET the kids these days? *rolls up*

          • HeyBooHey

            Man listen, all the teachers I know in DC puff. Heavily. I’ve been in the schools and I completely understand why lol

        • kris b.

          *makes beeline to next local teacher’s association conference *

        • Kema

          It’s the only job I’ve had that didn’t require a drug test. Interesting!

      • RewindingtonMaximus

        Don’t understand the weed hate. Cigs…sure. They kill. But not the green man…not the green.

        • Epsilonicus

          I would say inhaling burning embers no matter the source is prolly not healthy for the lungs.

          • RewindingtonMaximus

            It isnt, I do know that, but then again I plan on going to a desert and tripping out on psychedelic drugs one day. So I’m clearly not working on the healthy end of things

            • LoL @ nothing to run into or fall over in the desert.
              Good move.

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                Exactly!

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                I’m trying to be like those white dudes doing spiritual journeys and be one with some random Native American god

    • I’d prefer she didn’t

      • kris b.

        I can see how a man just can’t visualize a nurturing, home-making, career-minded stoner as a companion. But in all seriousness, is there a middle ground? Vape Pens? Do it outside? Otherwise, guess I’ll wait on my rasta of husband.

        *Tristan has responded to my post. My VSB cherry is popped* lol

        • I’ve dated smokers in the past, my ground rules have been support your own habit and not in my bedroom

          • K Lust

            I like these rules. I can live with this.

            • kris b.

              I agree too.

    • Uniquely Blushed

      I’m female, 36, corporate and weed is my vice as well… Gotta love it!

      • kris b.

        Love it!

    • Medium Meech

      Is transitioning to edibles off the table?

      • K Lust

        Edibles are more of a body high, and takes longer to come down. I think thats more of a weekend thang when you have the time to recover the next day. What if she/we/I only smoke joints? Not as smelly.

        • Medium Meech

          Package deal? Find another K and we can make a political statement. I think a hooka would be ideal for me.

      • kris b.

        Not completely, however, after dissecting my love affair with weed, I truly like the act of smoking. Getting where I want to be isnt as enjoyable or relaxing chewing, as is the actual act of puffing. Lol

        • Ms TLC

          “… the actual act of puffing.”

          I miss this..sigh

          • kris b.

            It misses you too, come back! Lol

            • Ms TLC

              oops! I meant cigarettes, I should have clarified that..lol I actually liked the act of smoking.

        • I feel you! it’s about the experience. It’s good to find another corporate consumer of the gas. Much preferred to pills or anything manmade.

    • Epsilonicus

      I can say most of the professional men I know don’t like women who smoke weed or cigarettes. I knwo for me I am allergic to smoke so while the smell dont bother me, unless a woman gonna take care of my asthma imma pass lol

      • kris b.

        That is a legitimate concern, and is why I choose to to disclose this info about myself immediately to give men a choice.

    • ED

      It would probably help if he were a smoker too. Also, as long as you’re not a stoner I don’t see why it would be a problem.

    • CrankUpThe_AC

      No problem at all. Life is too short for holdups. As long as it’s not rasta levels of smoke lol. I’d love to be able to burn with my girl.

      • kris b.

        A couple that burns together, is forever…

    • Illumina

      Do you. Life’s too short.

      But I can’t partake cuz my job has DOT random drug screens. Fail one of those, automatic termination. Also if i look to change jobs, most require drug screens and they do hair follicles.

      So if I have to choose between weed and paying my mortgage, the mortgage wins.

      • marwilli

        Not to pass judgment or anything of the like, but I thought most jobs above that require a degree/are beyond the entry level don’t drug test anymore.

        • Illumina

          Drug testing policies vary a lot by state. Here in the lone star state, in my experience you are more likely to have to do a drug test than not, even for white collar positions. I cannot hire a new Sr. Tech or Analyst (positions above entry level) without the person passing a drug screen.
          In my current industry, oil and gas, specifically pipelines, most companies have to adhere to Department of Transportation policies which require random drug testing (you really don’t want someone hot-tapping a line that is high or drunk). So even though I’m the supervisor in the Geographic Information Systems department (spatial databases), I still may be required to submit to a random drug test. Therefore no partaking of the wacy tabacky.
          Also my sis is a technical writer (people who write manual, help files, and other types of documentation) and worked for companies such as BAE, Schlumberger, and HP. With each of those jobs she had to complete a drug screen prior to employment. I believe for Schlumberger required her to do a hair follicle test which can detect usage over a period 90 days, not the usual 3-7 like urinalysis.

          • marwilli

            Thanks for that, I had no idea.

    • miss t-lee

      If that’s your thing, that’s your thing. It’d be best you find someone who either smokes also, or doesn’t mind.
      But for folks like myself, who aren’t down with it, it’s always gonna be a non-negotiable.

    • You too? We are out here…

      • kris b.

        Good! Professional, successful, women stoners unite! Lol

        • Epsilonicus

          Most of the professional women stoners I know are in the nonprofit sector. All my corporate friends dont touch it.

          • K Lust

            I’m in corporate. Advertising tho… so i guess its par for the course.

          • Lisa Swinney

            Yes non profits, yes graduate degree, have my own education business, am homeschooling a child, also work a couple of jobs – white collar, in my industry, and I smoke weed. I actually judge the drinkers. I hate the smell, i hate alcohol on the breath, I hate the way drunk people act, tipsy isn’t fun and alcoholism is the least sexy thing I can think of. Even “casual only get drunk after 5 and on the weekends” is unattractive to me. If someone has an attitude with me about weed it’s a non-negotiable, deal breaker. I think people are a lot more likely to be assholish when they drink. The people y’all are talking about who aren’t doing anything and smoking weed wouldn’t be doing anything anyway, or aren’t as smart, or are depressed or suffering from something else. If they drank the same amount as they smoked those things would also still be true. You can drink heavily and “achieve” if you want to, but it will catch up. In your liver, in your waistline, cognitively, in a heart attack, or kidneys. That’s just the tip of that list. Miss me with the weed stereotypes and pro-booze bs.

            • Kema

              Yes, I agree! I’m also a non drinking smoker.

          • Kema

            I was corporate and I touched. lol!

        • Kema

          “Professional, successful, women stoners unite!”

          *daps* Can we have some type of gang sign or something?

    • Kim

      I can’t speak for corporate smokers but majority of smokers I know are unemployed to top it off most people my age and younger seem to think female smokers are too loose like they’ll give up the oochie for a free session, Snapple, beef patty and cab fare lol

      • kris b.

        Well Kim, I can’t speak to your experiences, nor how you encountered weed smokers in your immediate proximity. However, ive seen non-smokers give up the cooch for free or for material posessions too. Its all about where your moral compass lies and what you allow, regardless of what your vice is. Also, unemployed is irrelevant as ive clearly stated my status, and asked my question solely based on professional women who smoke and not slackers. I get how you arrived at your perception, though.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Exactly. I mean I don’t see anything wrong about speaking on leaf burning, I don’t feel like that’s something to judge about unless they literally are admitting they spend more money on weed than they do on vacations and their 401k plan.

          • kris b.

            Like alcohol is literally responsible for x amount of deaths and bad choices historically, yet weed has the stigma and the bad wrap. I will never understand why. Smh

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              Exactly, but let’s see them say that in the next 5 years, as popular as legalization is making weed

        • Kim

          Of course, people will be people. What I meant to say is maybe it’s the general perception of weed smokers that may hurt a working woman looking for companionship. If you smoke that’s cool, I ain’t tripping, whatever makes you feel good. Personally, I just can’t take the smell.

          • kris b.

            Point taken.

      • Tonyoardee

        Your doctors smoke, your lawyers smoke.. its mainstream, get with it

        • Kim

          Boy bye, I don’t give a flying fugg who’s doing it, I don’t have to get with anything.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      Nah you about to get chosen.

      Rewind is very good at predicting the future.

      • kris b.

        Sweet, ill let you in on who the lucky suitor is when he arrives. Lol

    • marwilli

      I don’t know many professional black women who smoke on a regular basis, but I think it’s mostly because most of the professional black people I know are lawyers and (consequently) are super paranoid about this info getting to the attention of the bar association. I’m continually shocked when I find out women I’ve known for years are huge smokers, can roll perfect cones, and have excellent taste in Dub music.

    • “SN: Do professional men not like women who smoke trees?”
      Some LOVE corporate women who get down. It’s like a secret society. All we ask is trust.
      “I have no plans on quitting EVER.”
      Me either. But who knows.
      I think there is a negative stigma because it’s not legal and it’s really obvious. I have a few friends who are a bit shiftless and stoners, but i know way more with thriving careers and passions. I guess it just boils down birds of a feather flocking together.

      • Kema

        I need to find this secret society. I know my coworkers wouldn’t think I get down. Cant because they are so judgmental.

    • CamCamtheGreat

      “Do professional men not like women who smoke trees? I have no plans on quitting EVER.”

      My nig.

  • TJ

    “But upon second review…there’s a special amount of industriousness in a a man that’s able to make a custom short set out of his grandmother’s old couch.” You have me HOLLERING at work Shamira. I’m dead. Bury me inside a Gucci store, please!

    Never tried Tinder, and I don’t intend on it. Isn’t it just for casual encounters? Am I wrong?

    I’m also kind of over sites that are free.

    The online dating scene is bleak as of late. I know there’s a few services popping up specifically targeted towards the Black and bougie (i.e. MELD, etc.)…we’ll see how that goes.

    My biggest pet peeve about online profiles is the piss-poor grammar and knowingly misspelling words. “Livin on da edge”? Sir. Y u no put your middle school degree to use?!

    • cakes_and_pies

      I stopped after the on slot of “Who hurt you?!” profiles of everything they don’t want.

      • MM

        onslaught*

        • cakes_and_pies

          Uh Thank you. I had a brain fart,

      • miss t-lee

        Yeah. It’s pretty bad. Especially when you see dudes start out their profiles with all that hurt from jump.
        Sahara.

        • Epsilonicus

          I tried to explain this to my home boy but he would not listen

          • miss t-lee

            I’ve seen profiles start off with a laundry lists of things they do not want in a woman, and then it’s like okay, message me!
            No sir. I’m not doing all that clean up work. No suh.

            I hope your friends is at least open to the advice.

            • Men do that crap too? *wallslides* THERE’S NO HOPE!

              • Bruh. ..you just don’t know.

              • miss t-lee

                Yes.
                Super unattractive.

                • At this rate, I’ll be forever perving. If dudes are on that same BS, that means that the hurt people set is like the Bey hive. Pray for America people! Stories like this will get me back in church!

              • Wild Cougar

                again…..young

            • Epsilonicus

              He asked me to edit and then hated all my advice. He told me I did not know what I was doing. I then said to him, “which one of us has been more successful in dating?”. Then he reconsidered.

              • miss t-lee

                LOL!!!! You hit him with hee.

                • Epsilonicus

                  I was just sharing facts

                  • miss t-lee

                    It was true, but something he definitely needed to hear.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      And I am the person who NEVER gives dating advice unless asked. TONS of time.

              • Wild Cougar

                I bet he said “There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want” right? Right?

                • Epsilonicus

                  Nope. Said he wanted to make sure he did not get any crazy women. I told him you always wanna keep it positive.

                  Followed my advice. Been dating the same woman for 2 years now.

            • cakes_and_pies

              I attempted to be the clean up woman once and found myself fighting for the issues he had with his Mom, his child’s mother, and a fictional TV show character who cheated on her husband. I won’t do that again.

              • Epsilonicus

                This cant be life

              • That last one though…

              • RewindingtonMaximus

                Buahahahaha you better never do that again

                • cakes_and_pies

                  I haven’t tried online dating since then. As soon as a dude says something slick about a woman in his life, I’m out.

                  • RewindingtonMaximus

                    Best thought of the day. Save yourself Cakes, save yourself!

              • miss t-lee

                You’re a saint.

              • FrankiSideEye

                That last one…

                …can you at least tell us what show? ‘Cause I have to admit, right now I have a strong image of a very large man getting super heated over Grey’s Anatomy.

                • cakes_and_pies

                  When Lori slept with Shane on The Walking Dead. He said something to the sort of “That’s what all women who can’t survive on their own do” I thought he was playing around, he was dead serious.

                  • Illumina

                    Lordt!

                  • FrankiSideEye

                    …I would like to congratulate you on dodging that bullet.

                  • Charlotte

                    But she thought Rick was dead. Did he give u a timeline on the appropriate grieving period during a zombie apocalypse?

                    Did he have a poor opinion of Eugene too?

                    • cakes_and_pies

                      That’s what I said to him. “You know this isn’t real right? She thought he was dead.” He wasn’t haven’t it. Just “All women do blah blah blah.”
                      I didn’t stick around long enough for his opinion on Eugene

                  • uniquebeauty79

                    LMAO…My boy probably had security issues about as long as the Great Wall of China

                  • Nick Peters

                    LOL!!!!!

              • Boo Radley

                Man, I thought we were the only household that gets disrupted based on the arguments and lifestyles of fictional characters.

          • Wild Cougar

            One of the reasons I prefer younger men. They don’t tend to have these burnout lists….

        • Illumina

          Hurt dudes – yep seen those.

          My sister on the other hand seems to run into random idiots who are horribly inconsistent. Dudes that want a fcukbuddy (which she is not looking for), but don’t believe in birth control. She always seems to want to educate them.

          I almost hid her phone from her.

        • Nick Peters

          I never understood why how people get upset about rejection or 1 bad relationship

      • The millions (deep breath) AND THE MILLIONS of the hurt broads on online dating scare me. That and the “I’m a sarcastic b*thy chic! Ain’t I special?!” profiles kill me.

        • Wild Cougar

          There are the direct counterparts who will regale you with how much of an a$$hole they are in the first conversation and what they are NOT gonna put up with. It’s real

          • Word. Kumbaya my lord… KUMBAYA!

        • Asiyah

          Todd! You saw my OkCupid profile. It was hilarious LOL

          • I remember that classic. That was side-splitting funny!

        • You Ain’t no Guest You Family

          I had a friend who thought her stank attitude was the cutest, coolest thing about her. She was actually a pretty good wingman, cuz even though she had a better body than me, she turned off most of the guys that we met while we would hang out together.

  • Mika

    It should be noted that for the most part, I hate dating. I hate the horse-and-pony show aspect of the early stages, the faux nonchalance, the job interview feel of it. I get tired just thinking of the time wasted getting ready for someone who you might find slightly more interesting than a soggy box of rocks. I’d rather sit on my couch and eat a disturbing amount of chicken while watching a Gilmore Girls marathon.-
    #alladis

    Online dating is just as scary as meeting people in person. Don’t debate me on this one. #okthanksbye

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    Keep it 100, you straight trying to shame these dudes for being who they are. Yet these are the guys you attract.

    • Pretty sure you don’t know how Tinder works.

      • Mika

        I am sure.

      • TJ

        Agreed. I think Tinder doesn’t have sophisticated matching algorithms like a Match.com or EHarmony that take compatibility into consideration. I think it’s mostly superficial–age, location, etc.

        • Lol@ the equivalent of typing “ASL” in a chat room

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        She’s on Tinder while living in the black Mecca.

        Talking about her love of chicken in one sentence, and her half hearted attempts to not be fat.

        She hating on brothers for no good reason other than page views.

        There’s nothing sweet about this post, it’s snark for the sake of snark

        • Agatha Guilluame

          In her the defense (although it’s the least of your points), she works out every damn day. She’s very fit.

        • K Lust

          Chicken is protein, which aids in her in fat loss. I’m just sayin…

        • God Shammgod

          I know you think I should be ashamed of making fun of a man shirtless in a floral short set.

          Yet somehow…beyond all logic…I don’t.

          Burn your floral short set please. Or don’t date me. Both of these are valid options.

          • miss t-lee

            LMFAO

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          Man…don’t lie…you see bummy broads on all sorts of websites and talk mad greasy about them to other people…don’t you come up on here frontin like a saint.

          If this was snark for snark sake, she would have used a better site than Tinder and focused on dudes who’d actually be hard to pick apart.

      • camilleblu

        mayhaps he’s in one of the pics???

        • Medium Meech

          *Looks at where he’s from* now that you mention it…I would be mad if somebody played my QVC short set and ignored the results of my two week trial period at LA fitness.

          • camilleblu

            *lays down*

          • Epsilonicus

            Killing me lol

    • You sounding kinda hurt my ngga, you want to talk about it, you need a drink?

    • PunchDrunkLove

      Ut oh

    • miss t-lee

      Are you one of the guys that are blurred out?

      • Mika

        CRINE.

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