When White People Attack…Pumpkins » VSB

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When White People Attack…Pumpkins



This past Saturday, a riot broke out during the New Hampshire Pumpkin Festival, resulting in police releasing tear gas and pepper spray into the crowd. Expletives (and allegedly, beer cans and bottles) were hurled at police. Arrests were made. Somehow, though, no one was killed for it. Maybe the true magic safety color here is orange? Hmmm.

Obviously, many people made comparisons to the protests in Ferguson (and how they were handled) to the actually-should-be-classified-as-riots in Keene, New Hampshire. Perhaps Black folks should consider speaking out more on somewhat trivial issues. Maybe that’s the key!

Such as…

1. Creating a Bottomless Mimosa Festival and gathering to celebrate the blessing that is unlimited orange juice and champagne, and breaking a bunch of goblets when the mimosas are deemed “too weak.”

2. Attending a Brunch BBQ and rioting when they’ve run out of pulled pork pancakes.

3. Spearheading a National Wobble Day and setting cars on fire when the music cuts out mid-wobble.

We forgot a tiny detail. You have to be White to do all of the above and maintain your “alive” status. Or, maybe orange.


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Roll Call

Roll Call is a daily collection of interesting news stories, articles, blogs, and thinkpieces, curated by Tonja Stidhum and Natalie Degraffinried. They both have big hair, but they are not the same person.

  • Val


    • Sigma_Since 93

      Haha *in Nelson voice*

    • Funny enough, I visited this town one weekend during my college days. This town is White compared to other White people. It is the purest distillation of Whiteness I’ve seen in my natural life. Like other groups of white people like Jews or Italians would stick out. That’s why they white privilege even other White people don’t get.

  • Wait…no riot gear or military equipment? What kind of world is this?

  • I would do so much reckless ish if I were white.

  • Jay
    • ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      *gives you mandatory Birthday lap dance*

      • LadyIbaka

        Imma need you to go woo woo elsewhere.

    • AlwaysCC

      happy cake day!

    • Sigma_Since 93

      Happy Birthday Playa!

    • Rachmo

      Happy Birthday!!!

    • Hashtag Team Libra!

    • LadyIbaka

      aawwww!!! happy birthday sweerie pie. *turns around and presents you your birthday cakeS*

    • Tonja (aka Cheeks)

      Happy B-Day, Jay! This is your day. Eff KLMNOP.

  • Heavens2Murgatroid

    With the exception of fires and over turned cars I saw this plenty of times at PWI’s during football season, with cops acting all coy nearby. Some kind of privilege

  • Well, we all know that those rioters were no angels. Or, maybe it’s that the pumpkins were no angels?

  • Mayborn7

    I wish the white community would come together and speak out against this blatant thread of lawlessness that runs through their young people. I mean, it’s getting to the point where I’m afraid to go apple picking! I might run into some reckless, young bro who feels that he has nothing left to lose.

  • The Black Educator

    I work at a boarding school a couple of towns over from Keene. I’m the only black teacher at my school, and I was encouraged to check out Pumpkinfest because it is “frikkin awesome”. I chose to skip this year because who could actually want to see pumpkins and sip cider THAT bad? I went home to Boston instead, but I GUARANTEE you had I gone to Keene that day, I would have been that one black face shown in association with the riots… as I stood on the side of the road sipping on hot cider. lol

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