When Peak White Privilege And Peak Rape Culture Create The Perfect Fuckshit Soufflé » VSB

Featured, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

When Peak White Privilege And Peak Rape Culture Create The Perfect Fuckshit Soufflé

Santa Clara, Calif., Sheriff’s Department


If you are a person who…

1. cares at all about concepts like social justice, racism, gender equality, feminism, patriarchy, and privilege


2. carries a frustration with people who have either been unable or unwilling to possess a nuanced understanding for what any of these concepts mean

…convicted rapist Brock Turner, his father Dan, and Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Aaron Persky just provided a Fisher Price-meets-Trump University-level lesson plan for recognizing White privilege and rape culture. You will never find a plainer, less sophisticated, and easier to grasp example of these particular strains of pervasive shitty. Anyone who reads the details of this story and still comes away unconvinced these things exist is either trolling, a member of the Turner family, or “Simple Jack’s” replacement for the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived.

Of course, you can’t make a fuckshit soufflé without the proper ingredients. And this had them all. The foundation, of course, was the rape Brock Turner committed. He was found on top of an unconscious woman outside of a Kappa Alpha fraternity house. When discovered, he attempted to run away, but was apprehended by two students who happened to be passing by. It’s particularly telling that he tried to flee, as that act cuts through the argument of anyone (Turner and his father included) who claims to sincerely believe there’s nothing wrong with raping a woman unable to provide consent. He knew what he was doing was wrong; he just attempted to spin it into less of a wrong after he got caught.

Not satisfied that the souffle had enough seasoning, Turner prepared and read a statement that blamed “campus drinking culture” for his act; even having the audacity to center himself as the primary victim, as he claimed she was conscious the entire time. It was like he had a rape culture dartboard and attempted to hit every target.

Turner’s fuckshit, however, was demonstratively refuted in a statement read by the woman he victimized.

From Jezebel:

“I fully respected his right to a trial, but even after twelve jurors unanimously convicted him guilty of three felonies, all he has admitted to doing is ingesting alcohol. Someone who cannot take full accountability for his actions does not deserve a mitigating sentence. It is deeply offensive that he would try and dilute rape with a suggestion of promiscuity. By definition rape is the absence of promiscuity, rape is the absence of consent, and it perturbs me deeply that he can’t even see that distinction.”

Following Turner’s conviction, the prosecutors recommended six years. This is when Judge Persky took the souffle out of the oven, tasted it, and said “You know what this fuckshit souffle is missing? A dollop of White privilege. Actually forget a dollop. This needs a quart of that shit.” This resulted in a six-month sentence, with Persky’s rationale being that a “prison sentence would have a severe impact on him” and that “I think he will not be a danger to others.” Let’s forget for a moment that the point of putting rapists in prison is for it to have a severe impact on them. If you want to be moderately impacted by something, eat a Chipotle burrito, get on the elliptical, and feel it moderately impact your digestive system. Also let’s even forget that Turner still hasn’t taken any real blame or possessed any real remorse for his act. Perhaps he’s not dangerous to other men, but he’s definitely dangerous to women. He is a remorseless and privileged rapist who received an “eh” punishment for his crime. This is the very definition of dangerous motherfucker.

Instead, let’s focus on what Persky claimed to base his decision on: Turner’s age and lack of a criminal history. And then ask yourselves if there’s any doubt whatsoever that Turner wouldn’t have received the same deal if he possessed the same age and the same lack of a criminal history, but happened to look like Kimbo Slice (RIP).

Not to be outdone, Dan Turner (Brock’s father) smelled the fuckshit souffle baking, walked into the kitchen, opened the oven door, grabbed some oven mitts, pulled it out, placed it on the counter, stuck a serving spoon in it, tasted the still burning hot souffle, and thought “This meal is almost done. All it’s missing is another gallon or two of White privilege. And possibly gallon or two of rape culture too.”

The result: A ridiculously tone-deaf, bizarre, myopic, and just fucked-up-as-all-the-fucks letter where he claimed Turner’s bitch-ass sentence is a “steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life.” Which ignores the fact that 20 minutes is a long ass time. Far more than enough time to rape and steal and mug and murder. You could murder 20 kittens in 20 minutes.

He also stated that Turner’s life is an anxiety-ridden, fearful, and depressing mess. Which is exactly what many actual rape victims experience after they’re raped by people like Brock Turner. And, if this epitome of shitty surreality wasn’t enough, he went on a tangent about the food this motherfucker loved to grill and how the results of all the raping he was doing wouldn’t allow him to enjoy grilling anymore. (Seriously. He actually said that out of his own actual mouth. Read that shit for yourself.)

A part of me felt somewhat sympathetic towards Dan Turner, because he’s just attempting to defend his boy. But then I thought about my own dad, who loves me as much as a father can love a son. And then I thought about what my dad would do if he heard that I was discovered raping a woman behind a dumpster; a devious, disgusting, lecherous, and deviant criminal act that ruined this woman’s life and ruined my academic and athletic career. And then, I thought about how after I regained consciousness from the coma he’d put me in, I’d likely overhear him telling the judge “yeah, he’s my son and I love him, but that nigga deserves a few years in prison to give him a consequence for this terrible act. But mostly to keep him away from me randomly kicking his bitch-ass ass for the next decade.” And then the shred of sympathy I considered possessing for Dan Turner withered away.

Almost complete, the fuckshit souffle needed one more thing: a few tablespoons of White privilege cake batter and vanilla frosting on top of it. This came in the form of a mugshot, or lack thereof. While Black people involved with some sort of legal and/or criminal issue — even Black people actually victimized by the police — regularly have their mugshots circulated, Brock Turner’s smiling and suited up yearbook photo was the prevailing image of him. Until yesterday, when the Santa Clara Sheriff’s Department finally released two mugshots of Turner; one from the night he was arrested, and one from his sentencing last week.

So there you have it. The easiest way to make the perfect fuckshit souffle; complete with numerous generous helpings of rape culture and White privilege. And if you still can not follow these simple-ass, social promotion-ass directions, I have some Trump University admissions applications for you to complete.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • *Daps to the two people who ran him down after he tried to scurry away from his savagery.

    • Darkchloe14

      Faith in humanity (momentarily) restored.

      • Mabelrcampbell3

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        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tl608ur

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      • Crystalwsteelman

        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tl49x

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    • Susan Ito

      I want to give those Swedes a giant standing O and medals and a pony, if they want one.

    • ??? ??

      People aren’t gonna call the cops on thugs now. We will settle it right then and there from here on out.

    • Sidebar… Wu, YOU better come through with that beautiful sister in your thumbnail!!!!!!

    • TACK (the only word in Swedish I remember)! TACK all day to my Swedish homies! Ya’ll always got a place to stay in Chicago! (Not at my house, but I’ll find you a hotel somewhere.)

    • Blueberry01

      Apparently he tried to bite them wren they held him down.

  • Other_guy13

    What the duce???? Well…6 months is enough time for him to get raped at least 80 times…let the games begin. But on a serious note. This is foolishness. Had he been black there would have been no sympathy for he or his fragile state. It’s like he is telling the victim to just “get over it”. Its not that simple for someone to do that. Anyone who has been convicted of rape should get at least 10 years…I don’t care how old you are…it’s not okay.

    • PriceIsRightHorns

      That’s what I’m saying. Had it been one of us, the judge would’ve thrown the entire book at him. FOH.

    • A.G.

      He could be out in 3 months if he exhibits “good behavior.”

      This is a sad sickening story. My heart goes out to this victim. Her statement was powerful.

      • HoobaStankyLeg

        And the fact that he will be at a 60 Days In Type of environment and not a Rikers boils my blood. Listen. I wouldn’t be upset if that girl just went ahead and murdered him in cold blood.

    • Nature

      It is my understanding he isn’t even going to the penitentiary. He will serve it in county.

      • PDL – Cape Girl

        At home with an ankle monitor…..bet

      • Other_guy13

        All of this makes me sad

    • Stanley

      He’s only going to do 3 months, and because the Judge is the epitome of Bitch Assness, those three months might get pushed to house arrest.

    • Sunkissed

      Will his time actually be served in a prison setting? Or are they allowing this dip wad to serve his 90 days at the county jail? ?

      • rahshedah


  • Leggy

    I’m just mad he thinks his crime was drinking and sexual promiscuity! Boy, you’re a fucking rapist!! If those two grad students hadn’t caught him in the act, chased after him and captured him, this girl wouldn’t even have known that she was raped.
    When America puts black men in jail for ridiculous drug charges, they don’t know that it might ruin their life?! Boy, bye!

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      The difference is the judicial system views black lives as ALREADY ruined by default. Jail is supposed to be a “correctional” facility knowing full-well all it really does it further locks black folk out of opportunities once/if they leave.

    • KNeale

      I sometimes think about what I’d do in situations where I see someone getting hurt. OF course I would be frozen at first and then I’d do something but I’m not sure what. But people who are levelheaded in crazy situations are the best. The world needs them. The thought to “apprehend” him? If I caught him I wonder if I would have just started swinging or hitting him with things and made the situation worse. Anyways, thank god for those people.

  • Right now the media is posting articles where they’ve dug up Amber Heard’s “alleged” history of domestic violence against her ex-girlfriend. Between that and Brock Turner, it’s a terrible day to be a woman.

    Or, as some women might call it, Tuesday

    • KNeale

      And don’t forget she was seen smiling so you know…LIAR!!!!

    • Jacqueline

      I am with you on this rapist, but I have to say my BS meteor went into full alert when I heard Amber Heard’s accusations. Not that it is not possible ( I am very indifferent to Johnny Depp), but this sounds like a PR campaign.

      I am all for standing up for women, but I do not do it blindly. Women lie too.

      • Val

        Is Amber Heard supposed to be famous other than for dating Johnny Depp?

        • Jacqueline

          She has been around for a while. She was one of those “it girls” when she was a young adult. Marrying him upped her profile and she was able to ask for more money in films. At the time that she was accused of domestic violence she was on the radar.

          • Val

            Oh, okay, because I have no idea who she is other than Johnny’s wife or girlfriend.

            • Vanity in Peril

              I wonder what she has to gain from making up abuse? Depp is known in the industry to have substance abuse problems but it gets waved away like how we keep letting human garbage Sean Penn keep making movies.

              I’m not sure what’s true here, only they know. But this will end her career. He will. I’m not here for the Doug Stanhopes of the world telling women abuse must look like the burning bed or it’s a fabrication. I been there.

              • Val

                I don’t, VIP. I just keep unintentionally hearing about this and I’ve been wondering who she was. As for the dv aspect, I always give the accuser the benefit of the doubt.

                • Simone-Elise Charles

                  Amber was accused of domestic violence by her previous partner, Van Reese.

                • Vanity in Peril

                  I wasn’t aiming that at you, Val. I think I saw her in an awful Nick Cage movie b4.

                  Hollywood is weird.

      • NonyaB

        I found myself wondering “what dat money do doe?”. Because I couldn’t get why else a young attractive chick hitch herself to an old, washed up, dude (her 30 to his 53yrs)?

        I would be skeptical if it’s revealed she’s indeed fighting for alimony, as they were married for only 15mths with no kids and she has substantial income (apparently a popular-ish actress). Then again, I also true that they did no prenup, then he and his 400 million played themselves.

      • IsitFridayyet?

        But why would she put her entire career in jeopardy and risk being blacklisted by going after a Hollywood heavyweight? She is a working actress with everything to lose by accusing her husband of domestic violence.

        • Jacqueline

          I do not think her career is in jeopardy. For every person that would scorn her, there is a producer who will hire her. If she is telling the truth (and understand the burden of proof is on the accuser in this case), then it will all come out in the wash.

          I just think we should not be taking sides (and I include myself in this). I just have been around PR campaigns long enough to know one when I hear one. It doesn’t mean that there is not some truth to her story…or truth in his denial.

          • NBBBMO

            I don’t trust anything the media says about this sort of case. People use TMZ and Entertainment Tonight as sources. Lol.

        • Dan DeBono

          Civil suit worth (tens of) millions? Not saying it is one way or the other – i do not know, but civil suits are a HUGE motivation these days …

      • Eh, they’re both using pr to shape public opinion. That’s the game.

      • NonyaB

        Since DisqusHo still holding my comment:
        I found myself wondering “what dat money do doe?”. Because I couldn’t get why else a young attractive chick hitch herself to an old, washed up, dude (her 30 to his 53yrs)? And being in the same industry, I assume she heard about his issues (e.g. drugs) but still decided to get in. If he did beat her tho, then get him indicted or something, although I wasn’t sure if beating just happened or it’s being revealed now because divorce.

        I would be skeptical if it’s revealed she’s indeed fighting for alimony, as they were married for only 15mths with no kids and she has substantial income (apparently a popular-ish actress). Then again, if it’s also true that they did no prenup, then he and his 400 million played themselves.

      • NBBBMO

        I’m not sure what the deal is for divorce in the U.S. I know in Australia we have ” no fault divorce” passed in an attempt to make divorce easier, particularly for women. Which means people don’t have to prove adultery, or battery, or neglect in order to obtain a divorce-which is good. However it also means that a woman can be abused but it has no bearing on financial outcomes. It might mean that the divorce lawyer might put an AVO in place, but that is criminal procedure, not civil.
        I’m thinking Amber’d have done no differently if she’d kept schtum-again I don’t know U.S divorce law. . Yeah, women lie too, coz they’re humans. it’s more about the lack of a pre-nup.
        I did read an article recently though about what happens when known media celebrities ” speak out”. Victimhood ain’t sexy and the woman who wrote the article said it reduced her career prospects. She was dealing with a stalker, not a celebrity stalker, but some asshole. It made no difference.

    • NBBBMO

      I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I am because it’s true.

    • Derek_V

      Amber Heard is a disgusting domestic abuser. Some apologist you are.

  • United_Dreamer

    I’m not happy at you making me laugh out load at this incident.

  • Epsilonicus

    Can someone explain why folks are mad at Blavity?

    • They let a post big-ing up Hidden Colors slip past their editors. Considering they’re a site largely run off of “unpaid” BW effort, their promotion of a known abuser of those same contributors was a conflict of interest. The post has since been taken down, and Blavity has addressed it on twitter

      • Is Hotep Pimpington still churning out new parts of Hidden Colors?

        • Mary Burrell

          Hotep Pimpington is that Tariq Nasheed?

        • Epsilonicus

          The piss poor archaeology in that series hurts my heart

  • If only Ramsay Bolton could get a hold of him.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      I need Fleece Johnson to come out of retirement

      • I think they let Fleece out.

      • brothaskeeper

        And hope they choose the hard way.

    • Vanity in Peril

      Lyanna Mormont has it handled.

    • Qris_10

      skin him alive and have his head on a pike in LESS than 20 min…..

      • mmmhmm.

        • Jacqueline

          Ahh, one of my favorite scenes from this season’s Scandal. Thank you!!!

    • Brooklyn_Bruin

      He’d end up as sergeant, Ramsay would like the cut of his jib.

    • Heather Dumdei

      No. Ramsey would be like, “That’s not how you do it! You’re not causing enough pain. Step aside, and let me show you how it’s done.”

    • NBBBMO

      Ramsay Bolton would ask for a video and post it on Youtube as a comedy scene.

  • Smh he and his daddy can both fall off the nearest cliff. Idk why we even have a judicial system to be honest. For what?

    • Once they fall off of the cliff I hope a large bulldozer immediately follows them over edge to crush them even more.

      • Nah that’d be too easy. I want wild coyotes to slowly eat them.

  • Frankie Carsino

    “FUCKSHIT SOUFFLÉ”!!! That will get me to click on an article every time. Good read, Damon.

  • A.G.

    How on Earth could this judge be so lenient? Was it the Stanford connection?

    • PDL – Cape Girl

      White privilege

    • He probably has assaulted women himself too.

      • A.G.

        Just didn’t get caught

        • He’s old enough and has enough connects for it to not even matter. These men do this kind of thing all the time and bully women into not talking because no one will believe them.

      • Here’s the kicker-he WON his position running a “tough on r*pe” CAMPAIGN. Irony, anyone?

        • Non of these politicians, judges, etc. ever follow through on their bum platforms. Just a hook to get you to vote them in so they can hand out favors to their people.

        • Epsilonicus

          Shakespeare could not have written anything better

    • If he played football at Baylor he probably would’ve been named a captain for the next season.

      • A.G.

        Smh. Why won’t people admit to reaping the benefits of white privilege? Like, why act so ashamed or appalled when called out on it??

        • If that admission is made it would force them to acknowledge that the bulk of their mindset, positions in life, and all-around ain’t sh*tness is firmly built on a foundation of catching brakes and nepotism, not the hardwork that their narrative is built around.

          • tiggatae

            Exactly! Too busy accusing everyone of reaping undeserved benefits …

          • Kas

            Big, huge upvote

          • Amber

            That’s why alot of mediocre wypipo are upset now because many of them expected to something just based on the race and gender.

        • Niecy

          Because whenever these idjits hear “privilege” they think it means someone with money. I had to break it down for a dumbasz on reddit yesterday.

        • Blueberry01

          Because they’d have to admit EVERY other injustice that they caused – from slavery to the direct low self-esteem of Blacks due to darker skin tones.

          You know they ain’t ready to bear that cross…

      • miss t-lee

        I have no words for that sh*tshow going on up the road.

        • It’s like they were out there seeking dudes who actively disliked women. Not just to play football either…for the male student body at large. Such a wholesome Baptist institution too.

          • miss t-lee

            Exactly. Whole thing is sickening.

          • brothaskeeper

            It was underreported here, too. Wonder why.

    • Val

      The judge probably knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody at Stanford. And that last somebody wanted to protect Stanford’s rep. So, make it seem like what he did wasn’t really that bad. Which equals; really bad things don’t happen at Stanford, so you can feel safe sending your kids here. And the money just keeps rolling in.

      • To make things worse it’s really hard to get rid of a judge.

        • Val

          They’re trying though. There is an effort to recall him as we speak.

          • I hope they succeed. That’s negligence on a high level.

        • Why is it so difficult to get rid of people in this positions? There’s no systems of checks and balances for people at the top.

          • From what I’ve heard from the attorneys I know a judge has to do some extra ish to get asked to leave the bench. To make it worse some states appoint judges in lieu of electing them.

            • BUT WHY?!!?!?!

              I can get fired for no reason at all if my employer deems it necessary but judges have to commit the Holocaust 2.0 to get asked to step down??

              • One of those f’d up quirks that comes along with our version of democracy.

                • Wild. I bet this man is making close to 7 figures off throwing poor minorities in jail for much less.

    • Tambra

      Because he is a good kid who doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined . Ok. My head is so hurting.

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