What’s The Second Best Booty Song Of All-Time? » VSB

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What’s The Second Best Booty Song Of All-Time?

Ok, ok, ok. Let’s start with the obvious question(s):

Why the hell are you writing something about the second best something of all time? Wouldn’t it make more sense to determine, I don’t know, the BEST booty song ever instead of the second best? No one gives a damn about second. Including Drake, who famously once said that second place is just the first to lose. 

I understand this concern. And in most other contexts, these would be relevant questions. But the best booty song ever, undoubtedly and undisputedly, is “Back That Azz Up.” There’s no question, no debate, no argument, no discussion. If I titled this “What’s The Best Booty Song Of All-Time” instead, it would be resolved in five words. “Back That Azz Up” and “Duh.”

So, before we delve into the debate, let’s establish the criteria. What exactly is a booty song, and how does one qualify for consideration?

A booty song is a song that A) explicitly references the booty and/or booty shaking and B) induces immediate booty shaking and/or booty grinding. Basically, if you’re at a club and you hear this song, you’re either A) rushing to the dance floor to shake booty, B) rushing to the dance floor to dance with a shaking booty, C) specifically getting as far away from the dance floor as possible to protect yourself from the booty song stampede, or D) wanting to dance with a shaking booty, but unable to find a willing partner, so you reluctantly remove yourself from the dance floor. (By the way, there are few lonelier feelings than being the partner-less guy when the booty song comes on. Everyone else is all dropping it low and practically having simulated sex, and you’re standing there mouthing the words to “Rump Shaker” to yourself while counting the ice cups in your cup and pretending to check your texts.)

Also, for the sake of this discussion, I’ve narrowed this debate to songs made in the last 30 years. Also, I’m partial to songs that do somehow mention or allude to booty or booty instructions in some fashion in the name of the song. For instance, “The Whisper Song” had the the intended effect of causing dance floor stampedes, but the name of the song doesn’t hint at booty. Just secrets.

Anyway, 14 songs qualify.

“Rump Shaker”

This is an abjectly terrible song. (It is. Trust me.) But it has the most randomly absurd chorus ever.

It’s like the first half of the chorus was Teddy Riley getting all creative with onomatopoeia and shit (“All I wanna do is zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom in a poom-poom”), and then the rest of the group came in the studio, said “Man, fuck that artistic shit man. Let’s keep it simple.” and just screamed JUST SHAKE YA RUMP!!!

“Baby Got Back”

Definitely a first ballot member of the “Things Created By Black People That Are Loved By White People Waaaaaaaay More Than Black People Do” Hall-of-Fame.

“Da Butt”

I’ve always wondered if the women shouted out at the end of this song — (“Tanya got a big ol’ butt (Oh yeah)/Shirley got a big ol’ butt (Oh yeah)” — actually had really big butts or if they just got shout outs because they were cool with the MC. Also, if you actually were Tanya from “Da Butt” would you tell people about it? Would you go to parties like “Remember Tanya got a big ol butt from Da Butt? Well, you’re looking at her!” or just have it linked on your Instagram page or something?

“Get Low”

Only because Lil’ Jon was actually in a studio somewhere trying to create lyrics to this song, had an epiphany, took out his pen and paper, and wrote “skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet” on the page.

“I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown)”

This song is beautiful and disgusting. Like, imagine the kitten from Keanu. Now picture that kitten throwing up. That’s this song.

“Pop That”

Actually had to explain to a millennial a year or so ago that “Pop That” contains elements of “I Wanna Rock” in it. Of course, them being a millennial, this person had never heard of “I Wanna Rock” before. Which upset me greatly, especially when remembering that I’m married to this person.

“Bands Will Make Her Dance”

Because Juicy J can’t say no to ratchet pussy, and neither can we. We’re all Juicy J.

“Get Ur Freak On”

Hmm. Did people really get their freak on when this song came on? I feel like the freakishness of this song was more of an implication than a reality. It should have been called “Get Ur Freak On, But Not Really” instead.

“The Thong Song”

One day, I plan to devote 3000 words to how “The Thong Song” is the most underrated piece of pop art ever. Of course, it’s a punchline now, but no song has ever been hotter in the club than “The Thong Song” was the first couple months after it was released. And then, everyone pretended that it wasn’t.

Well, I’m done pretending.

“Get Busy”

Really, there are 47373 other dancehall reggae songs that could very easy qualify. But I’m hungry and I don’t feel like remembering the names of all of them, so “Get Busy” makes the cut. (Plus, my cousin was in the video!)

“No Hands”

This song was a great instruction manual for people like me who never know what to do with their hands when booty shake song dancing.

“Duffy”

Everything just said about dancehall could be said about Big Freedia’s entire catalog. Including the part about being hungry, because I still haven’t eaten yet.

“Miss New Booty”

Easily has the best opening line. How can you not love a song that starts with booty, booty, booty, booty, rocking everywhere?

“Shake Ya Ass”

Mystikal was such a disappointment, man.

Anyway, while there are over a dozen very worthy nominations, I believe “I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown)” to be the second best booty song of all time. I would guess that more booties have shaken (or shook?) to this song than any other song, and it’s like a thousand years old and still has the same effect in clubs.

I could be wrong, of course. But I’m hungry so I don’t care.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Animate

    Get Low is probably the 2nd string in this one.

    Honorable mention to “I need a Hot Girl” which probably is in the running now that I think of it.

    • FarbissinaPunim

      “I like it hot, the ones that don’t tell me to stop, eat it up…” Oooh weeee!

  • MsCee

    Back it Up and Dump it…Kent Folk Thug…thank me later

  • Lauren Olamina

    Back Dat Azz Up – Juvenile

    • Damon Young

      I’d advise you to back dat azz up and read again before commenting.

      • Lauren Olamina

        Damn – shots fired, Damon! My bad… but that literally made me! Peace-two-fingers…

        • Lauren Olamina

          made me laugh

          • Glo

            I thought you meant “literally made me” – as in, you were conceived to this song – and I almost died.

  • AngryYoda

    If you extend the cut-off by five years, Pull Up To The Bumper would be #2. just saying…

  • SimplePseudonym

    I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown)- Luke

  • A.G.

    The last minute and a half of the “Thong Song” is absolutely incredible. Sisqo gave us Julliard dramatics and I am HERE for it.

  • [Insert Creative Name Here]

    Feelin’ On Yo Booty. I know, R. Kelly. *Shrug* The song is still great.

    • cyanic

      Undisputed for me.

    • Blueberry01

      Honestly, he had ALL of the hits!

  • DM.

    Gal A Bubble by Konshens
    Red Nose – Sage The Gemini
    T Pain – Up Down
    Tyga – Rack City
    YG – Left Right

    • miss t-lee

      Gal A Bubble is a jam.

      • DM.

        One of the greatest dancehall songs to ever do it, along with RDX- Bend Ova

        • Johnny Boy

          cent, 5 cent, 10 cent dagga

    • TheFiresBurning

      RDX Jump

  • Negro Libre
    • Blueberry01

      You couldn’t escape this song.

  • miss t-lee

    I’ll be 75 years old still acting a complete azz when “Get Low” comes on. So clearly, that’s my vote.
    TO THE WINDOWSSSSSS, TO THE WALLLLL.

    Quick aside: I still remember the song came out, and this white chick I worked with asked me what “skeet, skeet” meant. Her face was priceless when I told her. She was mortified, “OMG! My kids have singing that!”

    I survived the crunk era.

    • brothaskeeper

      That lyric was a stroke of genius.

      • miss t-lee

        indeed.

      • SororSalsa

        One stroke was enough, apparently.

        • Blueberry01

          Not for all men…

    • Dr McD

      I will admit that I sang that lyric all through the ratchet years of college, and didn’t realize what “skeet” meant until I was damn near out of graduate school…dear gawd!

      • miss t-lee

        WELP.

        • Kas

          The truly innocent ones are so sweet when they first get here.

          • miss t-lee

            Oh?

            • Kas

              For instance Tambra

      • AshAlly08

        You weren’t the only one, lol

      • brothaskeeper

        But the meaning was in your face.

      • orchid921

        I used to work at a newspaper in NY. I will never, ever forget the day that one of my editors came up to me near the copy desk and asked me what “skeet skeet skeet” meant. He was a fan of “Chappelle’s Show” and I’m sure you remember the “A Day in the Life of Lil’ Jon” sketches. Anyway, I went Casper white and spent about five good minutes sputtering as I raced through ways to tell this older white man the truth without getting fired. I finally spat it out and we had a great laugh — even as he spent the rest of the day clowning me over my embarrassment. Dude, you asked!! LOL!

    • I don’t care that I’m in my 40s.. I will work this song the hayle out.

      • miss t-lee

        Exactly.
        Early and often.

      • brothaskeeper

        Lawdt. If I saw you in the club, I would have to look away because *redacted*

        • That’s what HE said..lol

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    • There’s also a merengue version.. when you wanna be ratchet in Spanish

      https://youtu.be/EC5iLdLvc4A

      • miss t-lee

        I totally appreciate this. I’m still tryna get fluent.

        • Well let me get you a couple more…all my jams

          • Hugh Akston

            love merengue gets you hype and tired real fast though that 1 2 step lol i need to borrow your music library

            • Merengue isn’t just 1 2 steps, papito…

              https://youtu.be/314mQzixlzQ

              Especially when you’re street dancing and feeling the music.

              • SororSalsa

                Well, you know some people think that bachata is just 1,2,3….hiccup. Some people can kill it. I never liked bachata until I went to a club in the Bronx. These dudes in the video are getting it!

                • Exactly, sis!! EXACTLY! Like street dancing or baile de salón is waaaaaaaay different than going to classes.

              • Kas

                Respect where respect is due! They were killing it.

              • Hugh Akston

                Need to do more street dancing I’m more formal

          • SororSalsa

            How have I never heard this???? I guess salsa DJ’s don’t drop this when it’s time to play the obligatory merengue song.

            • Naaaw.. you have to go to Dominican spots… salsa clubs cater to mainstream folks.

              • Sarah Vega

                amen. I am glad someone knows this. dominican spots ALWAYS play the lit remixes. The Tipico version of Rihanna’s “Work” is sooooooo flame! *dances*

          • Cleojonz

            OMG this is so fire! How have I never heard this version before?

            • Where your Latino friends? FIRE THEM.

              • Cleojonz

                I clearly need a new crew lol.

          • HeyThereLG

            I remember when I heard this in Miami at the club and LOST it….

        • https://youtu.be/GKnaDIpjU18

          My JAM. MIXED WITH Peña Suazo’s “Déjalo allí “

          • SororSalsa

            I’m really surprised I haven’t heard this in a Zumba class.

            • Lol… it was a hood club banger… you know Zumba is commercial

        • SororSalsa

          I’m taking a conversational class now to improve my speech. It’s pretty broken and I am able to form better sentences and ask actual, whole questions now.

          • miss t-lee

            I listen to a lot of music and watch tv shows in Spanish. It helps a lot. I can understand much more than I speak. I gotta get back in a class. I definitely learn better that way.

            • SororSalsa

              I do the same. But the class has been good for learning practical speech (greetings, questions, etc.) so that I can practice on a regular basis. I’m like you…understand better than I speak and I tend to get tongue-tied, but now I can think faster and actually respond when people talk to me.

              • miss t-lee

                That’s awesome. Keep at it. ?

              • Blueberry01

                Yo también. Me pongo nerviosa cuando hablo español porque creo que voy a decir algo mal.?

                • Pero eso no importa…. la cosa importante es que practiques!!

                  • Blueberry01

                    Tienes razón. ¡Gracias, señora!

              • brothaskeeper

                Immersion is always the best way. Twice a week I speak nothing but español to my students, and they love to hear themselves saying something new. That sense of achievement does wonders for their confidence. Also, like Gibbous said, telenovelas work because you can see how people emote, and it adds clarity to familiar words and phrases.

            • Gibbous

              Telenovias are the way to go. We watched an episode every week in high school Spanish class as a treat. Ay, the drama!

              • miss t-lee

                Yup!!! SO much drama.

      • Hugh Akston

        that’s the best version lol im so mad i lost my 2tb external

        • The crunkness of this track in da club, meng.. there are no words

      • SororSalsa

        If we’re shaking it en Espanol, we have to include “Culo”.

        • Yaaaaaaas!

        • miss t-lee

          and “Toma”.

          • SororSalsa

            There was an amazing choreography on the first season of SYTYCD to Toma: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5IxfTBgS4Y

          • Eunicegdillon

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sr72c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sr72c:
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            ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash362ShopTrafficGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sr72c:….,….

        • Blueberry01

          Yes!

      • miss t-lee
        • SororSalsa

          The Peanuts kids’ dance has always tickled me. The girl in pink is doing my happy dance.

          • miss t-lee

            Indeed. It’s so great.

          • Maestro G

            I always wondered if the boy had a hinge in his neck :-)

      • brothaskeeper
        • SororSalsa

          Albert Torres!

      • NCDancer

        ¡Feliz Navidad! ¡Esto es lo mejor que escucharé hoy! Gracias

      • HouseOfBonnets

        Bless your ministries for this lol

    • Kas

      Just so you know, the knees are the first to go.

      • StillSuga

        That’s when you hold on to a dude, wall, or your girls for better leverage

        • Kas

          However you can get it in. :)

        • Tasha Lawrence?

          When you hold on to that wall, game ooooovah.

      • miss t-lee

        I’m aware.

    • HR Paperstacks

      I worked at the Boys and Girls Club at Andrews Air force base, and all of our 5-7 years old sang this song non-stop.

      • miss t-lee

        I love it.

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