Lists, Theory & Essay

whats in a name?

recently, a former f-buddy lazily platonic friend of the champ’s told me that the dude she’s currently dating referred to himself as her boyfriend for the first time. after i had a moment of silence for another former team member taking advantage of their free agency clause, this conversation quickly segued into a full-fledged discussion about the complete and utter weirdness of that word, and the fact that despite the complete and utter weirdness, people continue to use it.

boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are the generic terms most people use to describe an exclusive, non-married significant other, but really, how appropiate is it for a 50 year old divorcee grandmother to refer to the 56 year old plumber she met at a promise-keepers conference in kansas city that’s been laying pipe for the past couple of months as her effing boyfriend? what gives here? why do we continue to use such an inapplicable word with such extreme prejudice? why do i only seemingly care passionately about such inane subjects?

today, at the world famous vsb.com, the champ will discuss the merits and faults of a few of the different terms used for non-married significant others, hopefully eventually finding and agreeing on a term that can eventually replace boyfriend and girlfriend in our general lexicon.

“boyfriend”

–is the common generic term, but the “boy” involved gives it a bit of a juvenile feel. sure “boyfriend” is cool when you’re 14, double dating at dave and busters and fantasizing about a possible extended finger bang in the backseat of a minivan later on, but it just sounds wrong to hear a 35 year old women talking about “boning her boyfriend

***sidenote: unless, of course, said girlfriend is kenya moore, and said boyfriend is the champ, in which case, she could call the champ whatever the hell she pleased***

“girlfriend”

–also a common generic term, but black woman have made it too ambiguous. “girlfriend” could be anything from a man’s mate to a woman’s best friend drunken weekend carpet muncher. we need some unambiguousness. i like that word, unambiguousness. i think “unambiguousness” might even replace “lil champ” as the name for, ummm, “lil champ”.

“mate”

–too vanilla. also, since “mating” is one of the proper ways of saying “f**king” or “boning”, wouldn’t saying “my mate” be the same as saying “my f*ck” or “my bone”? wouldn’t that be a bit presumptious? doesn’t “mate” have a somewhat animalistic connotation? if sarah palin had a kid in the woods, would michelle malkin adopt it?

“manfriend”

–sounds like something my ex fiancee’s mom would say…and she’s 67.

“ladyfriend”

–whenever i hear this term i think about some 45 year old divorced chick named shirley that works at blue cross/blue shield, drives a cavalier with a leopard interior and smokes newports. i actually think that all 45 year old women who still date should just be referred to as “shirleys”

“significant other”

–eh. what if you’re just exclusively dating and sleeping with this cat, but the relationship and the person really aint that significant to you?

“gentleman caller”

–sounds too date-rapey for some reason. whenever i see this i think of a character michael beach would play

the gentleman caller, personified

the gentleman caller, personified

“partner”

–along with the raindow (a subject that panama wrote about like 8 years ago) gay people ruined this word for everybody else.

“man”

–too possessive. and, even though a 21 year old is technically a man, it sounds terrible to me when any chick younger than 30 refers to the guy she’s seeing as her “man”, to the point that just hearing the hook from nivea’s “dont mess with my man” used to invoke uncontrollable dry heaving

“woman”

–just like “man”, “woman” only works with somebody you’ve had sex with at least 200 times. men that refer to the woman they’re seeing as “my woman” probably are most likely to beat their women or cheat as well. of course, i have absolutely no concrete reason or proof for that determination…its just a hunch.

“my girl”

–this one is actually my favorite. it sounds a bit more intimate than “girlfriend“, and also lets the person know that they’re your n-word as well as the person theyre having monkey sex with. i dont think theres an age cut-off with this one as well. unfortunately…

“my boy”

–doesnt have the same connotation. there is nothing more platonic sounding than a chick refering to a guy she’s seeing as “my boy“. in fact, i have a theory that states that whenever a woman does do that, its a way of hinting that “you know, i’m with him and shit…but if something better came along, i’d drop him quicker than amil

bf” and “gf”

–great for text, but they both just sound too impersonal. plus, “bf” sounds too close to “bm”, and noone whats to be referred to on a consistent basis with something that sounds a euphemism for sh*tting.

“my lady”

–would work, except for the fact that at least 86 percent of the time, it would be a blatant lie

“wifey”

the shelf life on using “wifey” in an unironic sense expired in 2001.

“my chick/dude

—this is a bit too mid-atlantic-ey, which is fine for me, but i like to keep things simple for the southerners. i’m considerate like that.

“my earth/God/goddess/queen/king/power u/spirit/field/galaxy/soulmate/vision”

—shut the f**k up.

ok. i’m stuck. with the exception of “my girl” (which, admittedly, is more lukewarm than t.i.’s verse in “S.L.U.”) none of these terms seem to work. was i wrong? did i forget something? does this sh*t even matter? people of vsb.com, the champ needs his toast your help.

what do you think?

—the champ

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • puff

    fully dead at “sure “boyfriend” is cool when you’re 14, double dating at dave and busters and fantasizing about a possible extended finger bang in the backseat of a minivan later on, but it just sounds wrong to hear a 35 year old women talking about “boning her boyfriend” ”

    i agree that boyfriend sounds a little juvenile… but i’ll work with it for now.

    maybe you should say it in another language or some sh*t, like “habibi” or “mon petit ami”…. maybe that was retarded. maybe i should stop drinking and posting simultaneously.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “maybe i should stop drinking and posting simultaneously.”

      actually, this is a good thing. please continue

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    You forgot…

    My boo…
    -I always think of ghetto love when I hear this. Whitney and BOBBAY!!

    My Love…
    - on some sprung “I wanna lick ur face” and “let me draw you some bath water and massage ur shoulders” googly eyed ish

    Till I think of others…

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      Ninja’s that use “my boo” probably use to also use the patented “f*ck wit ya boy” come on line as well.. off topic….I use to love to walk up to random people and ask them….. .
      whassup? F*ck wit ya girl” when I was fresh out of school….always caught ninja’s off gaurd

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        “.I use to love to walk up to random people and ask them….. whassup? F*ck wit ya girl” when I was fresh out of school….always caught ninja’s off gaurd”

        Thats why I heart you Shayd. I’d do stuff like that just for sh*t and giggles too.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        what exactly does it mean? im ebonically challenged! i have this same problem with “whats good?”…i mean, i really dont know how to respond to that. im all, “uh…things…i guess”

        *ashamed of self*

        • genius khan

          shatani if anybody asks u:

          what’s good?

          say: genius khan

          they’ll be just as confrused as u are.

    • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

      “My boo…
      -I always think of ghetto love when I hear this. Whitney and BOBBAY!!”

      Luvvie, me too…”Boo” is a word people used often down here so it doesn’t hold any special meaning.

    • http://sugahoney.blogspot.com suga

      I use “boo” for dudes that I’m not quite committed to, but only in referring to them while talking to other people.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “My Love…”

      this is one of those that you use to refer to each other, not address other people, like “baby” or “headmaster 17″

      • Bailey

        LMAO @ “headmaster 17″

        “Boo” is for the dude you kick it with, possibly only comes through on the late night, but it’s not serious…and you usually only refer to him as that when talking to your girls.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        “headmaster 17?

        OMG! who told you?? lol

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        what i’d like to know is what happened to headmasters 1-16??

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          you really don’t want to know.

          trust me

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        “My Love…”

        this is one of those that you use to refer to each other, not address other people

        Some overly-sprung folks use “my love” to introduce one another. Its gross.

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      My boo…

      nope…no way…too close to boo-boo…which is too close to dookie…which is too close to sh1t…which (although some may think they are the sh1t) is never a good look!

    • http://www.myspace.com/youngfreshdef Soulsagittarian

      I agree my boo makes me think of ghetto love. Same with my shorty.

      You also forgot “my baby”. Alot of people say that when referring to their significant other.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        I think “my shorty” is horrible. You should only refer to your child as “my shorty” not someone who is grown as heck.

        • 8th Wonder

          I’m 5ft 11, so being referred to as “my shorty” really makes my day for some reason.

          *hangs head in shame*

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    I just tried to edit and it marked my comment at spam. Crowd goes: “boooooo!”

    I was gon add “My Love” on some “I wanna draw your bath water and massage ur shoulders” ish. And write you poetry. Folks like these usually illicit a MEAN side-eye and ice grill and give me cavities.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I just tried to edit and it marked my comment at spam. Crowd goes: “boooooo!””

      lol…its up. btw, don’t boooo the moderation thing…it can hear you

  • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

    You had me going at the Palin/Malkin quip. I’m still puzzling this out. My theory is that with all the sex scandals rocking the Republican party, McCain figures the best way to get some consistent quality tail during the campaign season is to do it in plain sight. Nobody’s going to question his late night visits to his VPs hotel room.

    • ForReal

      LOL..yeah the Palkin reference had me dying laughing too. I love timely ish.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “McCain figures the best way to get some consistent quality tail during the campaign season is to do it in plain sight”

      mccain probably hasn’t had sex since the 1st season of “frazier”. lol…he don’t want none of sarah barracuda in the sack

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    you also forgot the chickenhead favorite..”bay” (shortened version of baby) lemme use it in a sentence for you…. Hey Bay, hand me the mote control”… Or Bay, you going to the stow? Gone and get me a Miller highlife”…..
    I hate endearments period. Baby, Boo, Baby boo, pumkin, sugar, sweetie, baby, whatever the hoodrat anthem of the moment is (e.g. buss it baby, wifey, shawty, etc)… UGH!!!! Why cant you just introduce a motherf*cker and call them by name? Then if the nosy a$$ person you are introducing them too wants to know what the situation is they will just ask if you are dating, if its serious, etc?

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      oooooooh I hate the term wifey, damn you R.L. &
      Next for popularizing that term in the late 90′s… It is like saying you are good enough to be my wife and then say “Got ya b*tch, they should have never given us ninjas titles!”

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        LMAO Exactly!!!!

      • ForReal

        “Got ya b*tch, they should have never given us ninjas titles!”
        LOL. Yep, wifey ain’t nothin but an insult at this point.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Yep, wifey ain’t nothin but an insult at this point.”

          seriously?

          • miss t-lee

            Seriously.

            • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

              I’m not understanding how. Its no different then any other slang term, plus it has the positive connotation of intimacy and exclusivity. Not every chick gets the wifey title, in fact only wifey does

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                thats the point..only wifey gets that title…everyone else is a side jawn (at least in philly) i dont know about the other women, but i certainly dont need to be first in line to be cheated on….wifey is in no way indicative of exclusivity

              • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

                This argument doesn’t make sense to me. I’m really not trying to be an ass, but whats the difference if you’re wifey, main jawn, girlfriend, fiance, spouse, if I cheat on you? Will you feel better if I buy you shea butter and incense, refer to you as my nubian queen, then start smashing smuts up and down broad street? Will that help you cope with the situation?

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “I’m really not trying to be an ass, but whats the difference if you’re wifey, main jawn, girlfriend, fiance, spouse, if I cheat on you? Will you feel better if I buy you shea butter and incense, refer to you as my nubian queen, then start smashing smuts up and down broad street? Will that help you cope with the situation?”

                you are trying to be an ass, lol…but i agree with you 100 percent. i guess we’re both asses

          • ForReal

            yep. I’m 30 years old, either i’m your wife or i’m not. Wifey is for kids.

            • miss t-lee

              Say that girl, SAY IT!!!!!!

            • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

              “yep. I’m 30 years old, either i’m your wife or i’m not. Wifey is for kids”

              totally agree. you notice how black men aren’t croonin’/rappin about being “husband-y” (nor would a man let a woman just “throw that title around”), just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.

              • miss t-lee

                totally agree. you notice how black men aren’t crooning/rappin about being “husband-y”, just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute

                I concur.
                Buy the cow, iggah.

              • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

                When you say throw the title around, do you mean titles like “mister/hubby/love of my life/the one” that imply a life long commitment (read: marriage) that women use all the time? Or do you mean titles like “nigga pay my bills/take me out to dinner/keep me in prada and gucci” that women imply all the time? I’m only asking because I’m confused.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “you notice how black men aren’t croonin’/rappin about being “husband-y””

                because “husband-y” is too awkward to say. i have heard guys refer to themselves as being “wifed up” though, on numerous occasions, and this does imply exclusivity

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “and this does imply exclusivity”

                until they get a wifey and a side-jawn!!

              • genius khan

                Comback scoffs:

                [men dont call women wifey with any sincerity for same reason they wouldn't let women call them husbandy] “…just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.”

                names aside if the man is “getting free milk?”

                what is the woman getting?

                what do i owe the woman i’m sleeping with?

                i thought it was a mutual decision and a fair exchange. she’s got the same oppurtunities that i do.

                cum on choclate drop, holla thefcuk back.

                names aside…

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                GK hopefully you’ll get this before work release lets out..jk..i know you aren’t on work release not with all your replies lookin like a screen play/stage direction…

                “names aside if the man is “getting free milk, what is the woman getting?”

                a glass menagerie…. pun fully intended for this here post.

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “When you say throw the title around, do you mean titles like “mister/hubby/love of my life/the one” that imply a life long commitment (read: marriage) that women use all the time? Or do you mean titles like “nigga pay my bills/take me out to dinner/keep me in prada and gucci” that women imply all the time? I’m only asking because I’m confused.”

                why exactly are you confused??? The term wifey has so many negative connotations to women its not even funny. It would be different if Justine Simmons truley emoddied the term wifey, but for now its a jilted Deb Gotti who expired like four or five years ago. Its another whodini trick for men to “play” relationship until his domestic A.D.D. wears thin.

                Moreover I don’t throw titles around. To me names are significant, there’s power in the tongue-so you’ll just be “what’s his name” until I have a ring on my finger and the title for husband-y is earned and signed on court documents.

              • genius khan

                Comeback thanx for your replies. o.k. i get it, u think a mans usage of the term wifey is a mans jedi mindtrick to fool a girl into thinking they are husbandish and wife-ish to keep the milk flowing.

                but a glass menagerie huh? lol!

                i woudn’t dare collect a wild exotic animal like u for exhibition. shame. lol!

                so a woman doesn’t make a mutual decision and have the same oppurtunity for pleasure that the man does? [for sex] it’s like ur doing us a flavor or something and we owe u something. is it less of a fair exchange for women than it is men? …and if so why?

                is marriage the be all to end all? the ultimate ideal and realistic paramount for interpersonal relations. the problems and failure rate seem to suggest not. …however marriage does seem to offer benefits financially and otherise for raising childern in some cases. in many cases not.

                maybe i would feel different if i felt like i had an expiration date. [for marriage ripeness]

                …and if i had an expiration date, to what lengths would i be willing to go to sell a “bill of goods” before said expiration? hmmmmm…

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “maybe i would feel different if i felt like i had an expiration date. [for marriage ripeness]”

                would you really? I know tons of 30 year old women who could have been married (for bad judgement) at least once. I’m holding up pretty well and so is my reproductive system (my grandma had my father at 45). If I was in a hurry my judgement would be indicative of that.

                I’m taking my time, which is why im not falling for the okey “wifey” doke.

              • genius khan

                Comeback replies:

                would you really? [feel diff about the "wifey" conotation and "getting free expendable milk" not being cute]

                maybe but probably not. just thinking that it might have had the slightest influence on a woman having that “getting the milk free” disdain and abhoration for men using the word “wifey” with manipulative intent and hidden agenda. …stretch i guess.

                Comeback said:

                “…just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.”

                again i ask:

                names aside if the man is “getting free milk?”

                what is the woman getting?

                what do i owe the woman i’m sleeping with?

                i thought it was a mutual decision and a fair exchange. she’s got the same oppurtunities. [in getting "free milk" that i do]

                if i’m wrong please explain.

                ur statement wreaks of a woman doing a man a flavor by “giving her free expendable milk.” [to a man]

                please break it down for me..

            • JBoogie

              “Wifey is for kids.”

              Please believe!

      • miss t-lee

        I blame Next for that wifey ish as well.

        • genius khan

          t-lee u and Comeback appear to think that a man shouldn’t use the word wifey to describe someone he is sleeping with unless she is actually and legally his wife. …and i tend to agree with u but for apparently different reasons …and u both seem to think that men are getting “milk for free”

          it makes me think that u all believe:

          that men date to get coochie.

          and

          women date to get married and that women have sex to get married.

          do tell…

          • miss t-lee

            Not all Senor GK. :)

            It’s not that deep, I just don’t like the term wifey. I think it implies more than it is, if a chick is truly “wife material”, she would be your wife and not just some generic azz term for the main chick that you like, or maybe love but you just can’t commit to.

            Not every woman’s sole purpose of dating is to get married. I can’t speak for the guys…lol

            • genius khan

              miss t-lee thanks for clearing that up. even though u weren’t disliking the use of wifey for the reason below…

              Panama’s observation that:

              men date to get layed and women date to get married i think is still profound. …though not always the case.

              somehow i think u may come to realize that this quote has some influence on why u don’t like men using the term wifey. (unless they are married to the woman being refered to)

              shout to P who is M.I.A today.

      • http://www.myspace.com/mochacovered missmocha

        To me, “wifey” is that girl a dude has in the rotation thinking not only that she’s the “one” but the only one. In reality, she’s the one that gives him $ for a haircut and new Tims before he goes out with his other one.

        Call me “wifey” and you can forget my phone #. That sh*t ain’t cute.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “To me, “wifey” is that girl a dude has in the rotation thinking not only that she’s the “one” but the only one. In reality, she’s the one that gives him $ for a haircut and new Tims before he goes out with his other one.

          Call me “wifey” and you can forget my phone #. That sh*t ain’t cute.”

          damn, lol. i always thought that wifey was corny, but i had no idea it had such negative connotations. who knew?

    • shay

      i knew i wasnt the only one who hated when ppl call each other “‘bay…”

    • genius khan

      Shayd notes:

      “Why cant you just introduce a motherf*cker and call them by name?”

      my thinking exactly. i refer to people by their name when i can think of it, as it relates to introduction of SI or IO to other people. (mixed company) …although this weekend when i couldn’t think of someones name i looked at them both and said introduce yourselves. heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooo!

      how 1 is introduced has been the source of much cotreversy betwinxt one to the other and other mufucaz. always undue value or lack thereof attached to label/s someone uses to intro a person they are fcuking.

      yet another dumb azz consequence of situationships, relationships and the like. …just like titles on jobs, u can call/label me the janitor if i’m doing what i love and being acknowledged and compensated properly.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        “as it relates to introduction of [SO] or IO to other people”

        You just inspired me, jump offs will now be referred to as ‘Insignifigant Others’, you are a genius (khan)

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @ GK~ *winking and blowing you a kiss* “i looked at them both and said introduce yourselves. ”

        That right there is my signature move

        • genius khan

          Hedo baby i had to think quick.

          …introduce yourselves.

          winks back atya. now dont make me spank u till it stings then rub i till it soothes.

          …whoooo!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            @ GK~ you know what I like ;)

            make sure you leave a hand print so I will think of you when you aren’t around

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

      Lol@ Shayd
      “Bay” is soooo southern. I never heard it till I went to school down south.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      i enjoy terms of endearment between the two in the couple, but the real world dont need to know (and start wondering why) you call him the things you call him and vice versa…

      all those hoodrat terms make me gag. i am no ones wifey…all that usually means is that youre the main chick he cheatin on anyway.

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @shatani~i hear you…

        I laugh whenever I see one of my best friends with the “WIFEY” (its gold in a brush script diamond encrustes) pendant around her neck that her husband gave her.

        I wish a mother frogger would.

        SMH!

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          There’s a GROWN woman somewhere wearing a “wifey” pendant?? I’m ashamed for womankind.

        • shay-d-lady

          WTF?I laugh whenever I see one of my best friends with the “WIFEY” (its gold in a brush script diamond encrustes) pendant around her neck that her husband gave her.

          Does she also wear huge hoop earrings that say sexy or baby girl?

    • kalia

      LOL @ Bay….I have an older relative who everyone calls “Bay Ruth”. When I was little I wrote a letter adressed to “Bay Ruth” and my family laughed and informed me that it’s Baby Ruth. And I was thinking,if they hadn’t been so country, maybe I would know that it was “baby”..and furthermore, no 67 year old woman should be called baby anything!

      thanks for the laugh shay!

  • http://www.sonicstorm.com Anechoic

    Honey-do.

    *shudders*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      anything term of endearment that sounds exactly like the name of a particular type of melon probably isn’t gonna fly

      • kalia

        lol…tru, well what about my “yes man”?? that wouldn’t be too emasculating would it?

  • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

    “…. talk slick and I’ll beat ya right, just me and my b*tch”

    … yup b*tch works, naw in all seriousness when I am dating someone exclusive I like the intro of this is my lady. It gives the point that you are together and make even evoke an ‘awwwwwwww’….

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      I wanna b*tch that like to play celo, and craps
      Packin gats, in a Coach bag steamin dime bags
      LOL

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        LOL!!!! Or be like Apache with “Gangsta B!tch”, that’s what I want to be called…. “Mom, Dad, this is im my gansgta b!tch, I love her like a motherfugger…”

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          “gangst b*tch” is a great great song from a great great American.

          hell, i even own the whole album.

    • miss t-lee

      “…. talk slick and I’ll beat ya right, just me and my b*tch”

      I guess if you’re Lil’ Kim and Biggie, this could work.

  • http://myspace Luckyred

    “Hey everyone this here is the dude that have me calling out his name like there’s no tomorrow, have me making pancakes in the morning wearing his college t-shirt, calling him 4 am in the morning b/c I can’t sleep, and hoping the dude that I will call husband one day if he knows how to act and all” (SMILE….+ awkward silence) soooo….great party you all are having here.

    i dunno know what to say for the “title” of the guy; all possible names have been exhausted.

    • puff

      bwahahahahahahaha i think i’m going to start using this

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “i dunno know what to say for the “title” of the guy; all possible names have been exhausted.”

      how about “spring”?

      get it…since you’re sprung?

      nevermind. forget i even typed that

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        you cant un-ring the bell, champ.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “you cant un-ring the bell, champ.”

          lol…i guess not

      • KindredSmile

        No, no, no. Just…no.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        STOP. IT.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    “my earth/God/goddess/queen/king/power u/spirit/field/galaxy/soulmate/vision”

    —shut the f**k up.

    LMAO… I am so feeling this. I blame Erykah badu for that shyt…..

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      I am too. Call me your “Queen” and I swoooon like a Tweenager at a Clay Aiken concert. Mmhmmm.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        The queen thing doesn’t do it for me, because all the poets call the women that in my spoken word circles, so it is officially trite in my world.

        • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

          me either.,,,,,,I would probably cuss his a$$ out.. My queen? Ninja please…Just cause I sport a fro dont mean I am on that weak a$$ pseudo concious, pseudo intellectual bull sh!t … Finish this sentence..123 points I gotta get a cross.. I aint think so ninja..LMAO..I am kidding (except on that Ball and G ref you gotta be down with them to roll with me) but I dont really go for all of that extra deep or extra hood…

          • ForReal

            Queen makes me heave. And let’s not forget…ain’t every chick a queen and ain’t every negro a king.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            “I would probably cuss his a$$ out.. My queen? Ninja please”

            i can imagine the following convo taking place:

            shay-d-lady’s dude: “hey everyone, i want to introduce you to a very special person, my queen, shay-d-lady”

            shay-d-lady: “n*gga!!! shut the f**k up with that bullsh*t!!!!!!!!. what the f**k is wrong with you????”

            shay-d-lady’s dude: “my bad. anyway, who wants a waffle?”

            • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

              LOL you are being funny, but that would probably happen for real. If we are dating and we go some where you introduce me as ‘queen” you are probably being an a$$ because we just had a fight in the car where I got mad and probably called your mother out of her name. so that intro was just a way to piss me off even further….LMAO

          • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            (except on that Ball and G ref you gotta be down with them to roll with me)

            ***daps Shay*** dats why I fux witchu yo!!

            • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

              Space Age Eva!!!!

          • http://brownsugar28.blogspot.com JJ

            AMEN!

            I rock a low cut and everyone wants to stick me in the, “weak a$$ pseudo concious, pseudo intellectual bull sh!t ”

            I’m ready to slap someone for calling me “Queen”

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          The queen thing doesn’t do it for me, because all the poets call the women that in my spoken word circles, so it is officially trite in my world.

          as a poetess…I concur…dry heave and all…but when a man I am “with” uses it in a completely no-s3xual, admiration heavy context, he could get a pass…

          • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

            I agree, I guess it depends on the context with any name…

      • http://stickwithyocat.blogspot.com/ V.E.G.

        Queen does NUTHIN for me. Nor does Princess, Empress…

        In a relationship,I prefer to be introduced by my name. If we are serious, folks will get the hint by the way we are acting towards each other.

        In private company I prefer to my guy, if we are exclusive, as my ‘ol’ man” :)

    • miss t-lee

      LOL Blame Erykah, and rest of the late 90′s neo-soul folks.
      Plus the 5%’ers…lol
      Oh yeah, and Wu-Tang

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Oh yeah, and Wu-Tang”

        blasphemy!!!!!!!!

        • miss t-lee

          You know I didn’t mean it that way…I loves the WU!!!

        • msyoung

          lets not forget how much of a contributing factor jim jones is in all this

          • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

            I’m not going to let this unwarranted Jim Jones bashing go on much longer

            • KindredSmile

              Exactly. I don’t think it’s Jim Jones this time. Now Clifton Powell, on the other hand – that nucca’s GUILTY.

              God, I hate him so much.

    • JBoogie

      Will slap a ninja that uses the term “queen” in public when referring to me. Save that for private…and use it sparingly please!

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      DAYUM!! I’mo need yall peoples not to wanna go “Lorraine Bobbitt” on a negro for calling you Queen. There are things that warrant beatdowns, and I just don’t think being called Queen should be one of them.

      Hardcore *ss VeeEssBee peoples. lol

      I still HEART yall!!

  • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

    This may be one of my fave posts from you yet sir. I tip my hat, imagine that! (Infinite points for whomever gets that reference!)

    You did forget boo! I love that word, it’s so cute to me in a semi-ironic way. Plus, I am pretty sure it is etmologically-derived from “my beaux”, which is a Southern word this Northern girl LOVES.

    You also forgot “my lover” (which sounds like it’s just sex) and “my old lady” (which I hear Southern men say from time to time).

    I like “gentleman caller” (and Michael Beach, despite the fact that he is shorter than me), but I only use it semi-ironically in reference to having male company (and the gentleman part is often a lie).

    If I had a partner, the formal title I’d give him would be “boyfriend”. The pet names would be “my boo” or “my man” and if we was reaaaal serious, I may even call him “my king”. Don’t be hating on me cuz I’m concious. A man who I can do hoodrat stuff with, but would still be worth calling “my king” sounds like a dream right about now.

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      I really did just catch the Sesame Street reference…. LOL!

    • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

      And “beaux” is from French originally. But somehow, us Black folks got it and turned it to boo. It lost its original SEGZYNESS.

      And anyone referred to as “gentleman caller” is expected to come over with props like a glow in the dark thong with pom pons attached to it and a bow tie.

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        gentleman caller is what my great, great, great aunt use to call the men that frequented her bordello that she ran from her house…..

        • genius khan

          Shayd recalls:

          “gentleman caller is what my great, great, great aunt use to call the men that frequented her bordello…”

          bordello although gramatically and by definition correct is synonymous with ho house.

          ur aunt ran a ho/cat house that probably doubled as a shot house. auntie was a pimpstress and the men who frequented her whore house were johns (like in doe, nondescript, the next nicca, NEXT!) gentleman caller my azz…

          and i aint mad at auntie.

          • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

            LOL where you breaking this down for my benefit or others? I know what bordello means and yes my great, great aunt ran a ho house…..

            • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

              LMAO!

            • genius khan

              Shayd admits:

              “I know what bordello means and yes my great, great aunt ran a ho house…..’

              well bordello sounded a lil surface-is-ticated. …like images of women dressed to the nines and a piano being played in the lobby by a man in a suit and all the men coming thru were wearing top hats and gloves. so upstanding.

              i just felt like ho house gave a more accurate vision. …wit shots of “bottom shelf liquor” being sold in the kitchen along with budweisers for &2.00. …some nicca named suga-mayne drunk off his azz with a gold toof threatening to kill Eartha Lee cuase she clipped him. well u’ve seen Lackawana Blues…

              …whooooo!

              • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

                but she did my great great aunt ran a bordello from around 1935-late 1950′s….so the image you have in your mind is the exact image I wanted to conjure…..she was very sophisticated. She could “pass” and ran a bordello with women much like herself that was frequented by rich white men…there are rumors that Elvis frequented her establishment when he was in the army, before he made it big

            • genius khan

              Shayd placing it in that time frame and context gives me the same vision u intended to give. yep i esponge my previous imagery. …but it’s still a ho house.

              LOL!

              • shay-d-lady

                a rose by any other name and all.. LMAO I feel you

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “gentleman caller is what my great, great, great aunt use to call the men that frequented her bordello that she ran from her house…..”

          by “great, great, great aunt” you mean “i”, right?

      • http://sugahoney.blogspot.com suga

        And anyone referred to as “gentleman caller” is expected to come over with props like a glow in the dark thong with pom pons attached to it and a bow tie.

        bwahahahaha, I know Im new over here but i really think Luvvie needs to be sent to the corner for that. lol

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          *Sigh* Suga, I am a permanent resident of the corner, so I’m already there lol

      • http://www.myspace.com/donteacia Teacia

        “And “beaux” is from French originally. But somehow, us Black folks got it and turned it to boo. It lost its original SEGZYNESS.”

        …yeah that’s what some white man wrote in a dictionary, but it’s not the REAL origin of the word boo.

        and i don’t even adopt the anti-white sentiment but man…white people are overrated. know your history folks…it’s kind of a big deal.

        • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

          Ain’t no White man write that in a dictionary, I decided that. But since I am wrong, what is the history of the word boo?

      • ForReal

        see, has always made me think of boo-boo, like bm, which is just nasty and horrible. I could never get down with that word, i blame my mom LOL

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          it makes me think of boo-boo like a small cut on a child’s finger…

    • http://myspace Luckyred

      the word boo just makes me think of–yogi the bear “hey boo boo…let meh get another pick-a-nic basket”

      just too cartoon-ish and toddler like…i guess

      but i like cartoon so no negative energy towards my animated friends

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “the word boo just makes me think of–yogi the bear “hey boo boo…let meh get another pick-a-nic basket”

        damn, lol. yogi the bear was racist as hell. bastard

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          Shoot, weren’t most of our childhood cartoons racist?? Daffy Duck, Mickey Mouse, Tom & Jerry, Bugs Bunny…

          *Sigh* I can barely enjoy them anymore.

    • malaika

      Old lady in Kenya just means your Mother and Old Man= Daddy so no using that for me

      • eff yo couch

        “Daddy” only works when your doing the horizontal polka

        • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

          “Daddy” only works when your doing the horizontal polka

          nah…when used correctly (right context and vocal inflection/cadence) it makes a man stand a little straighter…even when he’s upright and clothed…btu you have to mean it…it’s a term of endearment reserved for a man that makes me feel safe and cared about…you know, like my Daddy…lol…but the “hoodus rattus” has been throwing around all willy nilly causing it to decrease in value…like the word “beautiful” and red roses…nice but overdone!

          oh “eff yo” I am going to name my pet snake “EFF YO COUCH!”…so thank you for that inspiration…lol

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

            I just cant do the word Daddy. Im still a kid at heart and thats what I call my real father. Calling a man Daddy at any time, in any position is def a no go.

    • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

      I kind of like gentleman caller (and have used it once or twice)…its real cute in a Tennessee Williamin-ish kind of way…or a bordello kind of way (as Shay-d-lady pointed out)….there usually aren’t any in betweens.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “A man who I can do hoodrat stuff with”

      lol…what exactly is hoodrat stuff? walking out on the bill at denny’s? rocking tims with shorts? thinking long islands are high-end drinks? getting stabbed?

      • miss t-lee

        All of the above.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        rocking tims with shorts?

        saw that this morning on the train…complete with hood tats that look like they were done with a ball point pen, a safety pin and a double A battery…and a wife beater…he would probably do hood rat stuff

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          slow down…i rock Tims with shorts…and i’ll do it again too.

          and i read hella good. i quit doing hoodrat stuff on Sunday.

          • Ivy St.

            Tims with shorts is NOT a good look. I mean make up your mind… are you hot or cold? I just want to know are you wearing socks with these Tims and is there not another pair of sneakers or flip flops that match your outfit?

        • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

          um…whats the battery for???

          • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

            um…whats the battery for???

            I really don’t know, but that is what the studio gangstas at school used to make the MacGyver-esque contraption buzz…not clear on the brand of hood magic that spawned such a notion to begin with…but I am sure Bill Nye the Science Guy is somewhere scowling in disdain at a science fair project gone horribly wrong!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            the battery charges the motor which could be a paperclip or coil with a rubber band (dont ask how I know, I just know) and more than hood culture, that is actually prison culture. those items are used in prison to do tats, which are illegal to get done in prison so it has to be done on the low.

            • shay-d-lady

              LOL and just how did you come by this knowledge, IH?

      • http://thebeautifulstruggler.com Sister Toldja

        Tims and shorts, si. (I don’t wear shorts or any other clothes with extra fabric in the middle, but I would rock a mini skirt with some tims with my boo like we was Meth and Mary.)

        The other things qualify, but I wouldn’t do them. We might go to Dennys or the Sizzler (they have one in Queens, I seent it!) or the Red Lobster and drank some White Zinfandel, and cuddle up in front of a bootleg copy of the first season of Martin. Roll some trees, etc. And then do some classy ish the next day. I’m versitile.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      “my lover” is fun when you draw it out like, my lovaaaaaaah!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

        Sort of like Carrie in Sex and the City, when she saw a cute pair of shoes she lusted after?

      • Stix

        ““my lover” is fun when you draw it out like, my lovaaaaaaah!”
        In a real Shaggy-esque “Mr. Boombastic” type of way.