Lists, Theory & Essay

whats in a name?

recently, a former f-buddy lazily platonic friend of the champ’s told me that the dude she’s currently dating referred to himself as her boyfriend for the first time. after i had a moment of silence for another former team member taking advantage of their free agency clause, this conversation quickly segued into a full-fledged discussion about the complete and utter weirdness of that word, and the fact that despite the complete and utter weirdness, people continue to use it.

boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are the generic terms most people use to describe an exclusive, non-married significant other, but really, how appropiate is it for a 50 year old divorcee grandmother to refer to the 56 year old plumber she met at a promise-keepers conference in kansas city that’s been laying pipe for the past couple of months as her effing boyfriend? what gives here? why do we continue to use such an inapplicable word with such extreme prejudice? why do i only seemingly care passionately about such inane subjects?

today, at the world famous vsb.com, the champ will discuss the merits and faults of a few of the different terms used for non-married significant others, hopefully eventually finding and agreeing on a term that can eventually replace boyfriend and girlfriend in our general lexicon.

“boyfriend”

–is the common generic term, but the “boy” involved gives it a bit of a juvenile feel. sure “boyfriend” is cool when you’re 14, double dating at dave and busters and fantasizing about a possible extended finger bang in the backseat of a minivan later on, but it just sounds wrong to hear a 35 year old women talking about “boning her boyfriend

***sidenote: unless, of course, said girlfriend is kenya moore, and said boyfriend is the champ, in which case, she could call the champ whatever the hell she pleased***

“girlfriend”

–also a common generic term, but black woman have made it too ambiguous. “girlfriend” could be anything from a man’s mate to a woman’s best friend drunken weekend carpet muncher. we need some unambiguousness. i like that word, unambiguousness. i think “unambiguousness” might even replace “lil champ” as the name for, ummm, “lil champ”.

“mate”

–too vanilla. also, since “mating” is one of the proper ways of saying “f**king” or “boning”, wouldn’t saying “my mate” be the same as saying “my f*ck” or “my bone”? wouldn’t that be a bit presumptious? doesn’t “mate” have a somewhat animalistic connotation? if sarah palin had a kid in the woods, would michelle malkin adopt it?

“manfriend”

–sounds like something my ex fiancee’s mom would say…and she’s 67.

“ladyfriend”

–whenever i hear this term i think about some 45 year old divorced chick named shirley that works at blue cross/blue shield, drives a cavalier with a leopard interior and smokes newports. i actually think that all 45 year old women who still date should just be referred to as “shirleys”

“significant other”

–eh. what if you’re just exclusively dating and sleeping with this cat, but the relationship and the person really aint that significant to you?

“gentleman caller”

–sounds too date-rapey for some reason. whenever i see this i think of a character michael beach would play

the gentleman caller, personified

the gentleman caller, personified

“partner”

–along with the raindow (a subject that panama wrote about like 8 years ago) gay people ruined this word for everybody else.

“man”

–too possessive. and, even though a 21 year old is technically a man, it sounds terrible to me when any chick younger than 30 refers to the guy she’s seeing as her “man”, to the point that just hearing the hook from nivea’s “dont mess with my man” used to invoke uncontrollable dry heaving

“woman”

–just like “man”, “woman” only works with somebody you’ve had sex with at least 200 times. men that refer to the woman they’re seeing as “my woman” probably are most likely to beat their women or cheat as well. of course, i have absolutely no concrete reason or proof for that determination…its just a hunch.

“my girl”

–this one is actually my favorite. it sounds a bit more intimate than “girlfriend“, and also lets the person know that they’re your n-word as well as the person theyre having monkey sex with. i dont think theres an age cut-off with this one as well. unfortunately…

“my boy”

–doesnt have the same connotation. there is nothing more platonic sounding than a chick refering to a guy she’s seeing as “my boy“. in fact, i have a theory that states that whenever a woman does do that, its a way of hinting that “you know, i’m with him and shit…but if something better came along, i’d drop him quicker than amil

bf” and “gf”

–great for text, but they both just sound too impersonal. plus, “bf” sounds too close to “bm”, and noone whats to be referred to on a consistent basis with something that sounds a euphemism for sh*tting.

“my lady”

–would work, except for the fact that at least 86 percent of the time, it would be a blatant lie

“wifey”

the shelf life on using “wifey” in an unironic sense expired in 2001.

“my chick/dude

—this is a bit too mid-atlantic-ey, which is fine for me, but i like to keep things simple for the southerners. i’m considerate like that.

“my earth/God/goddess/queen/king/power u/spirit/field/galaxy/soulmate/vision”

—shut the f**k up.

ok. i’m stuck. with the exception of “my girl” (which, admittedly, is more lukewarm than t.i.’s verse in “S.L.U.”) none of these terms seem to work. was i wrong? did i forget something? does this sh*t even matter? people of vsb.com, the champ needs his toast your help.

what do you think?

—the champ

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

Previously

The Morning After.

  • puff

    fully dead at “sure “boyfriend” is cool when you’re 14, double dating at dave and busters and fantasizing about a possible extended finger bang in the backseat of a minivan later on, but it just sounds wrong to hear a 35 year old women talking about “boning her boyfriend” ”

    i agree that boyfriend sounds a little juvenile… but i’ll work with it for now.

    maybe you should say it in another language or some sh*t, like “habibi” or “mon petit ami”…. maybe that was retarded. maybe i should stop drinking and posting simultaneously.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “maybe i should stop drinking and posting simultaneously.”

      actually, this is a good thing. please continue

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “maybe i should stop drinking and posting simultaneously.”

      actually, this is a good thing. please continue

  • puff

    fully dead at “sure “boyfriend” is cool when you’re 14, double dating at dave and busters and fantasizing about a possible extended finger bang in the backseat of a minivan later on, but it just sounds wrong to hear a 35 year old women talking about “boning her boyfriend” ”

    i agree that boyfriend sounds a little juvenile… but i’ll work with it for now.

    maybe you should say it in another language or some sh*t, like “habibi” or “mon petit ami”…. maybe that was retarded. maybe i should stop drinking and posting simultaneously.

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    You forgot…

    My boo…
    -I always think of ghetto love when I hear this. Whitney and BOBBAY!!

    My Love…
    – on some sprung “I wanna lick ur face” and “let me draw you some bath water and massage ur shoulders” googly eyed ish

    Till I think of others…

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      Ninja’s that use “my boo” probably use to also use the patented “f*ck wit ya boy” come on line as well.. off topic….I use to love to walk up to random people and ask them….. .
      whassup? F*ck wit ya girl” when I was fresh out of school….always caught ninja’s off gaurd

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        “.I use to love to walk up to random people and ask them….. whassup? F*ck wit ya girl” when I was fresh out of school….always caught ninja’s off gaurd”

        Thats why I heart you Shayd. I’d do stuff like that just for sh*t and giggles too.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        “.I use to love to walk up to random people and ask them….. whassup? F*ck wit ya girl” when I was fresh out of school….always caught ninja’s off gaurd”

        Thats why I heart you Shayd. I’d do stuff like that just for sh*t and giggles too.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        what exactly does it mean? im ebonically challenged! i have this same problem with “whats good?”…i mean, i really dont know how to respond to that. im all, “uh…things…i guess”

        *ashamed of self*

        • genius khan

          shatani if anybody asks u:

          what’s good?

          say: genius khan

          they’ll be just as confrused as u are.

        • genius khan

          shatani if anybody asks u:

          what’s good?

          say: genius khan

          they’ll be just as confrused as u are.

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        what exactly does it mean? im ebonically challenged! i have this same problem with “whats good?”…i mean, i really dont know how to respond to that. im all, “uh…things…i guess”

        *ashamed of self*

    • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

      Ninja’s that use “my boo” probably use to also use the patented “f*ck wit ya boy” come on line as well.. off topic….I use to love to walk up to random people and ask them….. .
      whassup? F*ck wit ya girl” when I was fresh out of school….always caught ninja’s off gaurd

    • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

      “My boo…
      -I always think of ghetto love when I hear this. Whitney and BOBBAY!!”

      Luvvie, me too…”Boo” is a word people used often down here so it doesn’t hold any special meaning.

    • http://www.sheliagoss.com/blog Shelia

      “My boo…
      -I always think of ghetto love when I hear this. Whitney and BOBBAY!!”

      Luvvie, me too…”Boo” is a word people used often down here so it doesn’t hold any special meaning.

    • http://sugahoney.blogspot.com suga

      I use “boo” for dudes that I’m not quite committed to, but only in referring to them while talking to other people.

    • http://sugahoney.blogspot.com suga

      I use “boo” for dudes that I’m not quite committed to, but only in referring to them while talking to other people.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “My Love…”

      this is one of those that you use to refer to each other, not address other people, like “baby” or “headmaster 17″

      • Bailey

        LMAO @ “headmaster 17″

        “Boo” is for the dude you kick it with, possibly only comes through on the late night, but it’s not serious…and you usually only refer to him as that when talking to your girls.

      • Bailey

        LMAO @ “headmaster 17″

        “Boo” is for the dude you kick it with, possibly only comes through on the late night, but it’s not serious…and you usually only refer to him as that when talking to your girls.

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        “headmaster 17?

        OMG! who told you?? lol

      • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

        “headmaster 17?

        OMG! who told you?? lol

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        what i’d like to know is what happened to headmasters 1-16??

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          you really don’t want to know.

          trust me

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          you really don’t want to know.

          trust me

      • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

        what i’d like to know is what happened to headmasters 1-16??

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        “My Love…”

        this is one of those that you use to refer to each other, not address other people

        Some overly-sprung folks use “my love” to introduce one another. Its gross.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        “My Love…”

        this is one of those that you use to refer to each other, not address other people

        Some overly-sprung folks use “my love” to introduce one another. Its gross.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “My Love…”

      this is one of those that you use to refer to each other, not address other people, like “baby” or “headmaster 17″

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      My boo…

      nope…no way…too close to boo-boo…which is too close to dookie…which is too close to sh1t…which (although some may think they are the sh1t) is never a good look!

    • http://www.goodeness.blogspot.com GOODENess

      My boo…

      nope…no way…too close to boo-boo…which is too close to dookie…which is too close to sh1t…which (although some may think they are the sh1t) is never a good look!

    • http://www.myspace.com/youngfreshdef Soulsagittarian

      I agree my boo makes me think of ghetto love. Same with my shorty.

      You also forgot “my baby”. Alot of people say that when referring to their significant other.

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        I think “my shorty” is horrible. You should only refer to your child as “my shorty” not someone who is grown as heck.

        • 8th Wonder

          I’m 5ft 11, so being referred to as “my shorty” really makes my day for some reason.

          *hangs head in shame*

        • 8th Wonder

          I’m 5ft 11, so being referred to as “my shorty” really makes my day for some reason.

          *hangs head in shame*

      • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

        I think “my shorty” is horrible. You should only refer to your child as “my shorty” not someone who is grown as heck.

    • http://www.myspace.com/youngfreshdef Soulsagittarian

      I agree my boo makes me think of ghetto love. Same with my shorty.

      You also forgot “my baby”. Alot of people say that when referring to their significant other.

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    You forgot…

    My boo…
    -I always think of ghetto love when I hear this. Whitney and BOBBAY!!

    My Love…
    – on some sprung “I wanna lick ur face” and “let me draw you some bath water and massage ur shoulders” googly eyed ish

    Till I think of others…

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    I just tried to edit and it marked my comment at spam. Crowd goes: “boooooo!”

    I was gon add “My Love” on some “I wanna draw your bath water and massage ur shoulders” ish. And write you poetry. Folks like these usually illicit a MEAN side-eye and ice grill and give me cavities.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I just tried to edit and it marked my comment at spam. Crowd goes: “boooooo!””

      lol…its up. btw, don’t boooo the moderation thing…it can hear you

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I just tried to edit and it marked my comment at spam. Crowd goes: “boooooo!””

      lol…its up. btw, don’t boooo the moderation thing…it can hear you

  • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

    I just tried to edit and it marked my comment at spam. Crowd goes: “boooooo!”

    I was gon add “My Love” on some “I wanna draw your bath water and massage ur shoulders” ish. And write you poetry. Folks like these usually illicit a MEAN side-eye and ice grill and give me cavities.

  • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

    You had me going at the Palin/Malkin quip. I’m still puzzling this out. My theory is that with all the sex scandals rocking the Republican party, McCain figures the best way to get some consistent quality tail during the campaign season is to do it in plain sight. Nobody’s going to question his late night visits to his VPs hotel room.

    • ForReal

      LOL..yeah the Palkin reference had me dying laughing too. I love timely ish.

    • ForReal

      LOL..yeah the Palkin reference had me dying laughing too. I love timely ish.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “McCain figures the best way to get some consistent quality tail during the campaign season is to do it in plain sight”

      mccain probably hasn’t had sex since the 1st season of “frazier”. lol…he don’t want none of sarah barracuda in the sack

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “McCain figures the best way to get some consistent quality tail during the campaign season is to do it in plain sight”

      mccain probably hasn’t had sex since the 1st season of “frazier”. lol…he don’t want none of sarah barracuda in the sack

  • http://kamakula.wordpress.com kamakula

    You had me going at the Palin/Malkin quip. I’m still puzzling this out. My theory is that with all the sex scandals rocking the Republican party, McCain figures the best way to get some consistent quality tail during the campaign season is to do it in plain sight. Nobody’s going to question his late night visits to his VPs hotel room.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    you also forgot the chickenhead favorite..”bay” (shortened version of baby) lemme use it in a sentence for you…. Hey Bay, hand me the mote control”… Or Bay, you going to the stow? Gone and get me a Miller highlife”…..
    I hate endearments period. Baby, Boo, Baby boo, pumkin, sugar, sweetie, baby, whatever the hoodrat anthem of the moment is (e.g. buss it baby, wifey, shawty, etc)… UGH!!!! Why cant you just introduce a motherf*cker and call them by name? Then if the nosy a$$ person you are introducing them too wants to know what the situation is they will just ask if you are dating, if its serious, etc?

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      oooooooh I hate the term wifey, damn you R.L. &
      Next for popularizing that term in the late 90’s… It is like saying you are good enough to be my wife and then say “Got ya b*tch, they should have never given us ninjas titles!”

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        LMAO Exactly!!!!

      • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

        LMAO Exactly!!!!

      • ForReal

        “Got ya b*tch, they should have never given us ninjas titles!”
        LOL. Yep, wifey ain’t nothin but an insult at this point.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Yep, wifey ain’t nothin but an insult at this point.”

          seriously?

          • miss t-lee

            Seriously.

            • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

              I’m not understanding how. Its no different then any other slang term, plus it has the positive connotation of intimacy and exclusivity. Not every chick gets the wifey title, in fact only wifey does

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                thats the point..only wifey gets that title…everyone else is a side jawn (at least in philly) i dont know about the other women, but i certainly dont need to be first in line to be cheated on….wifey is in no way indicative of exclusivity

              • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

                thats the point..only wifey gets that title…everyone else is a side jawn (at least in philly) i dont know about the other women, but i certainly dont need to be first in line to be cheated on….wifey is in no way indicative of exclusivity

              • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

                This argument doesn’t make sense to me. I’m really not trying to be an ass, but whats the difference if you’re wifey, main jawn, girlfriend, fiance, spouse, if I cheat on you? Will you feel better if I buy you shea butter and incense, refer to you as my nubian queen, then start smashing smuts up and down broad street? Will that help you cope with the situation?

              • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

                This argument doesn’t make sense to me. I’m really not trying to be an ass, but whats the difference if you’re wifey, main jawn, girlfriend, fiance, spouse, if I cheat on you? Will you feel better if I buy you shea butter and incense, refer to you as my nubian queen, then start smashing smuts up and down broad street? Will that help you cope with the situation?

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “I’m really not trying to be an ass, but whats the difference if you’re wifey, main jawn, girlfriend, fiance, spouse, if I cheat on you? Will you feel better if I buy you shea butter and incense, refer to you as my nubian queen, then start smashing smuts up and down broad street? Will that help you cope with the situation?”

                you are trying to be an ass, lol…but i agree with you 100 percent. i guess we’re both asses

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “I’m really not trying to be an ass, but whats the difference if you’re wifey, main jawn, girlfriend, fiance, spouse, if I cheat on you? Will you feel better if I buy you shea butter and incense, refer to you as my nubian queen, then start smashing smuts up and down broad street? Will that help you cope with the situation?”

                you are trying to be an ass, lol…but i agree with you 100 percent. i guess we’re both asses

            • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

              I’m not understanding how. Its no different then any other slang term, plus it has the positive connotation of intimacy and exclusivity. Not every chick gets the wifey title, in fact only wifey does

          • miss t-lee

            Seriously.

          • ForReal

            yep. I’m 30 years old, either i’m your wife or i’m not. Wifey is for kids.

            • miss t-lee

              Say that girl, SAY IT!!!!!!

            • miss t-lee

              Say that girl, SAY IT!!!!!!

            • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

              “yep. I’m 30 years old, either i’m your wife or i’m not. Wifey is for kids”

              totally agree. you notice how black men aren’t croonin’/rappin about being “husband-y” (nor would a man let a woman just “throw that title around”), just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.

              • miss t-lee

                totally agree. you notice how black men aren’t crooning/rappin about being “husband-y”, just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute

                I concur.
                Buy the cow, iggah.

              • miss t-lee

                totally agree. you notice how black men aren’t crooning/rappin about being “husband-y”, just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute

                I concur.
                Buy the cow, iggah.

              • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

                When you say throw the title around, do you mean titles like “mister/hubby/love of my life/the one” that imply a life long commitment (read: marriage) that women use all the time? Or do you mean titles like “nigga pay my bills/take me out to dinner/keep me in prada and gucci” that women imply all the time? I’m only asking because I’m confused.

              • http://graywords1000@yahoo.com Dorian G.

                When you say throw the title around, do you mean titles like “mister/hubby/love of my life/the one” that imply a life long commitment (read: marriage) that women use all the time? Or do you mean titles like “nigga pay my bills/take me out to dinner/keep me in prada and gucci” that women imply all the time? I’m only asking because I’m confused.

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “you notice how black men aren’t croonin’/rappin about being “husband-y””

                because “husband-y” is too awkward to say. i have heard guys refer to themselves as being “wifed up” though, on numerous occasions, and this does imply exclusivity

              • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

                “you notice how black men aren’t croonin’/rappin about being “husband-y””

                because “husband-y” is too awkward to say. i have heard guys refer to themselves as being “wifed up” though, on numerous occasions, and this does imply exclusivity

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “and this does imply exclusivity”

                until they get a wifey and a side-jawn!!

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “and this does imply exclusivity”

                until they get a wifey and a side-jawn!!

              • genius khan

                Comback scoffs:

                [men dont call women wifey with any sincerity for same reason they wouldn’t let women call them husbandy] “…just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.”

                names aside if the man is “getting free milk?”

                what is the woman getting?

                what do i owe the woman i’m sleeping with?

                i thought it was a mutual decision and a fair exchange. she’s got the same oppurtunities that i do.

                cum on choclate drop, holla thefcuk back.

                names aside…

              • genius khan

                Comback scoffs:

                [men dont call women wifey with any sincerity for same reason they wouldn’t let women call them husbandy] “…just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.”

                names aside if the man is “getting free milk?”

                what is the woman getting?

                what do i owe the woman i’m sleeping with?

                i thought it was a mutual decision and a fair exchange. she’s got the same oppurtunities that i do.

                cum on choclate drop, holla thefcuk back.

                names aside…

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                GK hopefully you’ll get this before work release lets out..jk..i know you aren’t on work release not with all your replies lookin like a screen play/stage direction…

                “names aside if the man is “getting free milk, what is the woman getting?”

                a glass menagerie…. pun fully intended for this here post.

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                GK hopefully you’ll get this before work release lets out..jk..i know you aren’t on work release not with all your replies lookin like a screen play/stage direction…

                “names aside if the man is “getting free milk, what is the woman getting?”

                a glass menagerie…. pun fully intended for this here post.

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “When you say throw the title around, do you mean titles like “mister/hubby/love of my life/the one” that imply a life long commitment (read: marriage) that women use all the time? Or do you mean titles like “nigga pay my bills/take me out to dinner/keep me in prada and gucci” that women imply all the time? I’m only asking because I’m confused.”

                why exactly are you confused??? The term wifey has so many negative connotations to women its not even funny. It would be different if Justine Simmons truley emoddied the term wifey, but for now its a jilted Deb Gotti who expired like four or five years ago. Its another whodini trick for men to “play” relationship until his domestic A.D.D. wears thin.

                Moreover I don’t throw titles around. To me names are significant, there’s power in the tongue-so you’ll just be “what’s his name” until I have a ring on my finger and the title for husband-y is earned and signed on court documents.

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “When you say throw the title around, do you mean titles like “mister/hubby/love of my life/the one” that imply a life long commitment (read: marriage) that women use all the time? Or do you mean titles like “nigga pay my bills/take me out to dinner/keep me in prada and gucci” that women imply all the time? I’m only asking because I’m confused.”

                why exactly are you confused??? The term wifey has so many negative connotations to women its not even funny. It would be different if Justine Simmons truley emoddied the term wifey, but for now its a jilted Deb Gotti who expired like four or five years ago. Its another whodini trick for men to “play” relationship until his domestic A.D.D. wears thin.

                Moreover I don’t throw titles around. To me names are significant, there’s power in the tongue-so you’ll just be “what’s his name” until I have a ring on my finger and the title for husband-y is earned and signed on court documents.

              • genius khan

                Comeback thanx for your replies. o.k. i get it, u think a mans usage of the term wifey is a mans jedi mindtrick to fool a girl into thinking they are husbandish and wife-ish to keep the milk flowing.

                but a glass menagerie huh? lol!

                i woudn’t dare collect a wild exotic animal like u for exhibition. shame. lol!

                so a woman doesn’t make a mutual decision and have the same oppurtunity for pleasure that the man does? [for sex] it’s like ur doing us a flavor or something and we owe u something. is it less of a fair exchange for women than it is men? …and if so why?

                is marriage the be all to end all? the ultimate ideal and realistic paramount for interpersonal relations. the problems and failure rate seem to suggest not. …however marriage does seem to offer benefits financially and otherise for raising childern in some cases. in many cases not.

                maybe i would feel different if i felt like i had an expiration date. [for marriage ripeness]

                …and if i had an expiration date, to what lengths would i be willing to go to sell a “bill of goods” before said expiration? hmmmmm…

              • genius khan

                Comeback thanx for your replies. o.k. i get it, u think a mans usage of the term wifey is a mans jedi mindtrick to fool a girl into thinking they are husbandish and wife-ish to keep the milk flowing.

                but a glass menagerie huh? lol!

                i woudn’t dare collect a wild exotic animal like u for exhibition. shame. lol!

                so a woman doesn’t make a mutual decision and have the same oppurtunity for pleasure that the man does? [for sex] it’s like ur doing us a flavor or something and we owe u something. is it less of a fair exchange for women than it is men? …and if so why?

                is marriage the be all to end all? the ultimate ideal and realistic paramount for interpersonal relations. the problems and failure rate seem to suggest not. …however marriage does seem to offer benefits financially and otherise for raising childern in some cases. in many cases not.

                maybe i would feel different if i felt like i had an expiration date. [for marriage ripeness]

                …and if i had an expiration date, to what lengths would i be willing to go to sell a “bill of goods” before said expiration? hmmmmm…

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “maybe i would feel different if i felt like i had an expiration date. [for marriage ripeness]”

                would you really? I know tons of 30 year old women who could have been married (for bad judgement) at least once. I’m holding up pretty well and so is my reproductive system (my grandma had my father at 45). If I was in a hurry my judgement would be indicative of that.

                I’m taking my time, which is why im not falling for the okey “wifey” doke.

              • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

                “maybe i would feel different if i felt like i had an expiration date. [for marriage ripeness]”

                would you really? I know tons of 30 year old women who could have been married (for bad judgement) at least once. I’m holding up pretty well and so is my reproductive system (my grandma had my father at 45). If I was in a hurry my judgement would be indicative of that.

                I’m taking my time, which is why im not falling for the okey “wifey” doke.

              • genius khan

                Comeback replies:

                would you really? [feel diff about the “wifey” conotation and “getting free expendable milk” not being cute]

                maybe but probably not. just thinking that it might have had the slightest influence on a woman having that “getting the milk free” disdain and abhoration for men using the word “wifey” with manipulative intent and hidden agenda. …stretch i guess.

                Comeback said:

                “…just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.”

                again i ask:

                names aside if the man is “getting free milk?”

                what is the woman getting?

                what do i owe the woman i’m sleeping with?

                i thought it was a mutual decision and a fair exchange. she’s got the same oppurtunities. [in getting “free milk” that i do]

                if i’m wrong please explain.

                ur statement wreaks of a woman doing a man a flavor by “giving her free expendable milk.” [to a man]

                please break it down for me..

              • genius khan

                Comeback replies:

                would you really? [feel diff about the “wifey” conotation and “getting free expendable milk” not being cute]

                maybe but probably not. just thinking that it might have had the slightest influence on a woman having that “getting the milk free” disdain and abhoration for men using the word “wifey” with manipulative intent and hidden agenda. …stretch i guess.

                Comeback said:

                “…just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.”

                again i ask:

                names aside if the man is “getting free milk?”

                what is the woman getting?

                what do i owe the woman i’m sleeping with?

                i thought it was a mutual decision and a fair exchange. she’s got the same oppurtunities. [in getting “free milk” that i do]

                if i’m wrong please explain.

                ur statement wreaks of a woman doing a man a flavor by “giving her free expendable milk.” [to a man]

                please break it down for me..

            • http://www.thecomebackgirl.com The Comeback Girl

              “yep. I’m 30 years old, either i’m your wife or i’m not. Wifey is for kids”

              totally agree. you notice how black men aren’t croonin’/rappin about being “husband-y” (nor would a man let a woman just “throw that title around”), just enjoying the benefits of getting free expendable milk. its not cute.

            • JBoogie

              “Wifey is for kids.”

              Please believe!

            • JBoogie

              “Wifey is for kids.”

              Please believe!

          • ForReal

            yep. I’m 30 years old, either i’m your wife or i’m not. Wifey is for kids.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “Yep, wifey ain’t nothin but an insult at this point.”

          seriously?

      • ForReal

        “Got ya b*tch, they should have never given us ninjas titles!”
        LOL. Yep, wifey ain’t nothin but an insult at this point.

      • miss t-lee

        I blame Next for that wifey ish as well.

        • genius khan

          t-lee u and Comeback appear to think that a man shouldn’t use the word wifey to describe someone he is sleeping with unless she is actually and legally his wife. …and i tend to agree with u but for apparently different reasons …and u both seem to think that men are getting “milk for free”

          it makes me think that u all believe:

          that men date to get coochie.

          and

          women date to get married and that women have sex to get married.

          do tell…

          • miss t-lee

            Not all Senor GK. :)

            It’s not that deep, I just don’t like the term wifey. I think it implies more than it is, if a chick is truly “wife material”, she would be your wife and not just some generic azz term for the main chick that you like, or maybe love but you just can’t commit to.

            Not every woman’s sole purpose of dating is to get married. I can’t speak for the guys…lol

            • genius khan

              miss t-lee thanks for clearing that up. even though u weren’t disliking the use of wifey for the reason below…

              Panama’s observation that:

              men date to get layed and women date to get married i think is still profound. …though not always the case.

              somehow i think u may come to realize that this quote has some influence on why u don’t like men using the term wifey. (unless they are married to the woman being refered to)

              shout to P who is M.I.A today.

            • genius khan

              miss t-lee thanks for clearing that up. even though u weren’t disliking the use of wifey for the reason below…

              Panama’s observation that:

              men date to get layed and women date to get married i think is still profound. …though not always the case.

              somehow i think u may come to realize that this quote has some influence on why u don’t like men using the term wifey. (unless they are married to the woman being refered to)

              shout to P who is M.I.A today.

          • miss t-lee

            Not all Senor GK. :)

            It’s not that deep, I just don’t like the term wifey. I think it implies more than it is, if a chick is truly “wife material”, she would be your wife and not just some generic azz term for the main chick that you like, or maybe love but you just can’t commit to.

            Not every woman’s sole purpose of dating is to get married. I can’t speak for the guys…lol

        • genius khan

          t-lee u and Comeback appear to think that a man shouldn’t use the word wifey to describe someone he is sleeping with unless she is actually and legally his wife. …and i tend to agree with u but for apparently different reasons …and u both seem to think that men are getting “milk for free”

          it makes me think that u all believe:

          that men date to get coochie.

          and

          women date to get married and that women have sex to get married.

          do tell…

      • miss t-lee

        I blame Next for that wifey ish as well.

      • http://www.myspace.com/mochacovered missmocha

        To me, “wifey” is that girl a dude has in the rotation thinking not only that she’s the “one” but the only one. In reality, she’s the one that gives him $ for a haircut and new Tims before he goes out with his other one.

        Call me “wifey” and you can forget my phone #. That sh*t ain’t cute.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “To me, “wifey” is that girl a dude has in the rotation thinking not only that she’s the “one” but the only one. In reality, she’s the one that gives him $ for a haircut and new Tims before he goes out with his other one.

          Call me “wifey” and you can forget my phone #. That sh*t ain’t cute.”

          damn, lol. i always thought that wifey was corny, but i had no idea it had such negative connotations. who knew?

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “To me, “wifey” is that girl a dude has in the rotation thinking not only that she’s the “one” but the only one. In reality, she’s the one that gives him $ for a haircut and new Tims before he goes out with his other one.

          Call me “wifey” and you can forget my phone #. That sh*t ain’t cute.”

          damn, lol. i always thought that wifey was corny, but i had no idea it had such negative connotations. who knew?

      • http://www.myspace.com/mochacovered missmocha

        To me, “wifey” is that girl a dude has in the rotation thinking not only that she’s the “one” but the only one. In reality, she’s the one that gives him $ for a haircut and new Tims before he goes out with his other one.

        Call me “wifey” and you can forget my phone #. That sh*t ain’t cute.

    • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

      oooooooh I hate the term wifey, damn you R.L. &
      Next for popularizing that term in the late 90’s… It is like saying you are good enough to be my wife and then say “Got ya b*tch, they should have never given us ninjas titles!”

    • shay

      i knew i wasnt the only one who hated when ppl call each other “‘bay…”

    • shay

      i knew i wasnt the only one who hated when ppl call each other “‘bay…”

    • genius khan

      Shayd notes:

      “Why cant you just introduce a motherf*cker and call them by name?”

      my thinking exactly. i refer to people by their name when i can think of it, as it relates to introduction of SI or IO to other people. (mixed company) …although this weekend when i couldn’t think of someones name i looked at them both and said introduce yourselves. heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooo!

      how 1 is introduced has been the source of much cotreversy betwinxt one to the other and other mufucaz. always undue value or lack thereof attached to label/s someone uses to intro a person they are fcuking.

      yet another dumb azz consequence of situationships, relationships and the like. …just like titles on jobs, u can call/label me the janitor if i’m doing what i love and being acknowledged and compensated properly.

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        “as it relates to introduction of [SO] or IO to other people”

        You just inspired me, jump offs will now be referred to as ‘Insignifigant Others’, you are a genius (khan)

      • http://naturallyalise.blogspot.com Naturally Alise

        “as it relates to introduction of [SO] or IO to other people”

        You just inspired me, jump offs will now be referred to as ‘Insignifigant Others’, you are a genius (khan)

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @ GK~ *winking and blowing you a kiss* “i looked at them both and said introduce yourselves. ”

        That right there is my signature move

        • genius khan

          Hedo baby i had to think quick.

          …introduce yourselves.

          winks back atya. now dont make me spank u till it stings then rub i till it soothes.

          …whoooo!

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            @ GK~ you know what I like ;)

            make sure you leave a hand print so I will think of you when you aren’t around

          • Intellectual Hedonist

            @ GK~ you know what I like ;)

            make sure you leave a hand print so I will think of you when you aren’t around

        • genius khan

          Hedo baby i had to think quick.

          …introduce yourselves.

          winks back atya. now dont make me spank u till it stings then rub i till it soothes.

          …whoooo!

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @ GK~ *winking and blowing you a kiss* “i looked at them both and said introduce yourselves. ”

        That right there is my signature move

    • genius khan

      Shayd notes:

      “Why cant you just introduce a motherf*cker and call them by name?”

      my thinking exactly. i refer to people by their name when i can think of it, as it relates to introduction of SI or IO to other people. (mixed company) …although this weekend when i couldn’t think of someones name i looked at them both and said introduce yourselves. heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooo!

      how 1 is introduced has been the source of much cotreversy betwinxt one to the other and other mufucaz. always undue value or lack thereof attached to label/s someone uses to intro a person they are fcuking.

      yet another dumb azz consequence of situationships, relationships and the like. …just like titles on jobs, u can call/label me the janitor if i’m doing what i love and being acknowledged and compensated properly.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

      Lol@ Shayd
      “Bay” is soooo southern. I never heard it till I went to school down south.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=73903598 Dom

      Lol@ Shayd
      “Bay” is soooo southern. I never heard it till I went to school down south.

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      i enjoy terms of endearment between the two in the couple, but the real world dont need to know (and start wondering why) you call him the things you call him and vice versa…

      all those hoodrat terms make me gag. i am no ones wifey…all that usually means is that youre the main chick he cheatin on anyway.

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @shatani~i hear you…

        I laugh whenever I see one of my best friends with the “WIFEY” (its gold in a brush script diamond encrustes) pendant around her neck that her husband gave her.

        I wish a mother frogger would.

        SMH!

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          There’s a GROWN woman somewhere wearing a “wifey” pendant?? I’m ashamed for womankind.

        • http://liffy.blogspot.com Luvvie

          There’s a GROWN woman somewhere wearing a “wifey” pendant?? I’m ashamed for womankind.

        • shay-d-lady

          WTF?I laugh whenever I see one of my best friends with the “WIFEY” (its gold in a brush script diamond encrustes) pendant around her neck that her husband gave her.

          Does she also wear huge hoop earrings that say sexy or baby girl?

        • shay-d-lady

          WTF?I laugh whenever I see one of my best friends with the “WIFEY” (its gold in a brush script diamond encrustes) pendant around her neck that her husband gave her.

          Does she also wear huge hoop earrings that say sexy or baby girl?

      • Intellectual Hedonist

        @shatani~i hear you…

        I laugh whenever I see one of my best friends with the “WIFEY” (its gold in a brush script diamond encrustes) pendant around her neck that her husband gave her.

        I wish a mother frogger would.

        SMH!

    • http://myspace.com/shatani shatani

      i enjoy terms of endearment between the two in the couple, but the real world dont need to know (and start wondering why) you call him the things you call him and vice versa…

      all those hoodrat terms make me gag. i am no ones wifey…all that usually means is that youre the main chick he cheatin on anyway.

    • kalia

      LOL @ Bay….I have an older relative who everyone calls “Bay Ruth”. When I was little I wrote a letter adressed to “Bay Ruth” and my family laughed and informed me that it’s Baby Ruth. And I was thinking,if they hadn’t been so country, maybe I would know that it was “baby”..and furthermore, no 67 year old woman should be called baby anything!

      thanks for the laugh shay!

    • kalia

      LOL @ Bay….I have an older relative who everyone calls “Bay Ruth”. When I was little I wrote a letter adressed to “Bay Ruth” and my family laughed and informed me that it’s Baby Ruth. And I was thinking,if they hadn’t been so country, maybe I would know that it was “baby”..and furthermore, no 67 year old woman should be called baby anything!

      thanks for the laugh shay!

  • http://www.myspace.com/shay_d_lady79 Shay-d-lady

    you also forgot the chickenhead favorite..”bay” (shortened version of baby) lemme use it in a sentence for you…. Hey Bay, hand me the mote control”… Or Bay, you going to the stow? Gone and get me a Miller highlife”…..
    I hate endearments period. Baby, Boo, Baby boo, pumkin, sugar, sweetie, baby, whatever the hoodrat anthem of the moment is (e.g. buss it baby, wifey, shawty, etc)… UGH!!!! Why cant you just introduce a motherf*cker and call them by name? Then if the nosy a$$ person you are introducing them too wants to know what the situation is they will just ask if you are dating, if its serious, etc?

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