What Happens When (Some) People Think You’re Marrying A White Chick
Two weeks ago, a bit of “I spent all night watching tournament games, and now it’s 11:30pm and I still can’t think of anything to write” writer’s block led me to leave WordPress for a minute and go to ESPN.com to kill some time. While there, I came across a picture of Blake Griffin.
Seeing Griffin’s Alfred E. Neuman-esque hair reminded me that he’s biracial. This led me to wonder which side heÂ identifiesÂ with more, and that thought led me to also wonder if there was any specific way to tell which side a biracial person feels more of a connection to. I answered my own question (“Their dating patterns are probably the biggest tell“), thought about whether Blake Griffin dates mostly White girls or Black girls, wondered how each side of his family feels about his dating choices, and finally…
“Hmm. I wonder how people I know would take it if I fell in love with and married a White woman?”
This thought effectively ended my block, leading to “How I Fell For, Proposed To, And Will Marry A White Woman”—an early April Fools joke on the VSB readership.
Between here and The Root—where the piece was republished—the responses ran from “Congrats on your upcoming marriage to a White woman!” and “Damn, you got me” to “Does she have a sister?” andÂ “So…why does this dude feel the need to tell us that he’s marrying a White woman. Just marry her ass, have the honeymoon in a bucket of mayo, and be on your Tom-ing way”Â
Most (men and women) were amused, though. That wasn’t a surprise. I know the readership here is a bit, well, smarter and a bit less prone to take themselves too seriously than what you usually find on the internet.
Again, most were amused. But, not all.
This was a comment left Thursday evening.
Another sellout. And, yes, just one more â€œfield negroâ€ (after the website of the same name) with a white woman.
And his writing this little essay wonâ€™t change that.
Sisters, brothers, we need to raise our children to know and do better. Life is about choices, and this brother made a bad one. If thereâ€™s a white person for you, thereâ€™s DEFINITELY a black woman for you. Ditto for the sisters with regard to white men and black men.
Once one makes a conscious decision to be with a black person, then it doesnâ€™t matter who else one meets â€” because one has made a choice. Itâ€™s about a certain kind of social and political consciousness that understands the importance of modeling black love, of building strong black families.
Itâ€™s brothers like this who will shake their heads at young black kids cursing, their sagging pants, their lack of facility with standard English. But where are they? Theyâ€™re MIA in the black community, leaving another sister to raise a child on her own, to battle to maintain a certain standard of living on her own, to face the world on her own without a mate.
But itâ€™s also brothers like these black women do not â€” or certainly should not â€” miss. If this is where their head is â€” blown â€” then weâ€™re far better off without them.
We need to return to a traditional African understanding of community and responsibility. Without it, we will never prosper as a people. *smdh*
Her follow up comment 50 minutes later:
Okay. Iâ€™m an impatient reader and am only just now seeing that it was supposed to be an April Foolâ€™s joke.
Uh â€¦ not funny. Itâ€™s like reading an account of a lynching and then seeing â€œApril Fools!â€
The survival of the black family is too serious a matter for such silliness. And the situation it spoofs is too real to make light of.
Let me add that I wasnâ€™t offended. It didnâ€™t make me angry. It simply disgusted me. And then I began to think of the title of the website.
My thought: â€œClearly, the brotha isnâ€™t as smart as he thinks he is.â€
Well, one thingâ€™s for certain: Heâ€™s not as funny as he wants to be.
You know, whenever I watch videos like the one where the father was beating his daughter after catching her making a twerking video, I wonder if people who believe in corporalÂ punishment are on the wrong side of history. I know it’s aÂ traditionalÂ part of child-rearing—and I also know that many of us have been spanked before and turned out alright—but I think this is one of those practices that people will look back at in 100 years and think “Damn. Can you believe they still thought it was ok to beat children in 2013? How did they think it was a good thing for fully-grown adults to beat the smallest and weakest person in the house, and how did the courts allow parents to do this?”
Anyway, I’m bringing this up because although I have always been solely interested in and committed to dating Black women, I wonder if people who believe in the type of uncompromising racial solidarity as the person who left that comment are also on the wrong side of history.
I could be wrong, though. Maybe she’s right. I mean, humans areÂ instinctuallyÂ tribal, and perhaps all this post-racialiciousness isn’tÂ necessarilyÂ a great thing.
Like I said, I could be wrong. But, I doubt it.
What do you think?
—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)