Lists, Theory & Essay

What Friendship Means To Me, By Panama Jackson

Here at VSB, we spend a lot of time talking about relationships between men and women, man and nature, and the most important, Soulja Boy and Edgar Allan Poe. Relationships are the cornerstone of community. This is fact. But you know one of the most important facets of any relationship is? Having real friends to keep your dumb a** in line when you do something stupid or who can keep you level headed whenever you feel as if you’ve been wronged or unrighted, depending on if you ever made it past 6th grade.

All this talk about friends has made me hungry. Except that’s not true at all. But it did get me to thinking about how you know somebody is really your friend as opposed to just some random associate. Of course, this could vary between men and women but I assume that we all have some ways of knowing who our real friends are. Allow me to provide a few ways:

1) You’d ask them to check your email for you

Say you get caught out there and you need somebody to go in your email right quick. Shucks, I’ve had girlfriends I wouldn’t even ask to do that, but my homies? Sure. No problem. There’s something about email. Heck, I don’t even want the Pope up in my emails. I just can’t trust him not to check out that folder entitled “Things You Shouldn’t Look At If Your Name Ain’t Panama Jackson”.

2) Like email, you’d let them check your bank account balance

Whew…this one is major because letting somebody know how money you have is generally a major nono. I remember asking my dad how much money he made once and he cursed me out mumbling something about grown folks business and getting the monkeyshine sh*t slapped out of me for every talking bad about Jesus again. And I’m not even Lil B. I don’t even look like Jesus. If I did, I wouldn’t say so either.

3) They can come into your home and go into the refrigerator without asking

One of my best friends from high school would do that. Walk right into the house and go to the fridge and nobody batted an eye. I had an ex try to do that after being at my house no less than 100 times and my mother kindly asked to speak to her in another room and said something about disrespect and slapping the monkeyshine sh*t out of somebody that looked like Jesus. I’m still not sure who that person is.

4) They can hang out with your sister/brother and you don’t worry about anything popping off

I have a bunch of sisters and I have boys who I’d trust to take them to the movies (no Bangs). Well, that is unless they were trying to take them to like a dollar movie that had old Red Shoe Diaries episodes or some such f*ckery involved. But hey, you can’t win them all and you cannot dance unless there is music. Though, the prevailing thought is that you should dance as if nobody’s watching and if nobody’s watching then there’s probably not a DJ so maybe you’re dancing to the song inĀ  your heart. Our soul. I’m confused.

5) You wouldn’t bang their girl (guy)

This might be a guy thing, but your real homeboys…you wouldn’t even consider banging their girl. That’s the true measure of friendship. I’m not sure this one holds true for women since anecdotally, women can be some uber trifling and conniving individuals when it comes to sleeping with comrades. I’ve seent it with my own two eyes before. Shucks, I’ve had the roommate of an ex ATTEMPT to sleep with me before. Good thing she looked like Norbit. Eeeeew.

My good friends of VSB, what let’s you know that somebody is really your friend?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

Filed Under: ,
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • JessKnowsBest

    true friendship:

    You let them see you at your sickest….

    You lend them money you need because they need it more

    You can call them in the middle of the night to talk and NOT get cussed out.

    • JessKnowsBest

      addition:

      Letting borrowed a high priced/favorite clothing item ….
      My clothes are like my children and I dont leave em with just anybody… My reall friends know how to treat my babies, lol.

    • JessKnowsBest

      addition:

      Letting borrowed a high priced/favorite clothing item ….
      My clothes are like my children and I dont leave em with just anybody… My reall friends know how to treat my babies, lol.

    • Dom

      You lend them money you need because they need it more

      This is a good one. Back in the brokest of broke days (ahem, circa last week or so), If I had $20 and she had $2, she was getting at least $8. There aren’t many people I’d do that for.

    • Dom

      You lend them money you need because they need it more

      This is a good one. Back in the brokest of broke days (ahem, circa last week or so), If I had $20 and she had $2, she was getting at least $8. There aren’t many people I’d do that for.

    • Mo

      “You lend them money you need because they need it more…”

      Naw homie, if someone is really your friend, you don’t lend them money. You GIVE it to them. There is nothing like hounding someone to get the $50 you loaned them. So, for me and my friends we give each other money. And we’ve done it enough times to know that when you’re the one in need, we got you. You don’t have to worry. And vice versa.

      • tone

        cosign.

      • tone

        cosign.

    • Mo

      “You lend them money you need because they need it more…”

      Naw homie, if someone is really your friend, you don’t lend them money. You GIVE it to them. There is nothing like hounding someone to get the $50 you loaned them. So, for me and my friends we give each other money. And we’ve done it enough times to know that when you’re the one in need, we got you. You don’t have to worry. And vice versa.

  • JessKnowsBest

    true friendship:

    You let them see you at your sickest….

    You lend them money you need because they need it more

    You can call them in the middle of the night to talk and NOT get cussed out.

  • knightnick

    cosign #2 and #3, i stay in my friends fridge.

    I’d add:
    1. if we are both drunk but he is less drunk, my closest friends can drive my car drunk
    2.My closest friends also know where all me secret stash spots are in my crib and my car.

  • knightnick

    cosign #2 and #3, i stay in my friends fridge.

    I’d add:
    1. if we are both drunk but he is less drunk, my closest friends can drive my car drunk
    2.My closest friends also know where all me secret stash spots are in my crib and my car.

  • Roger

    If I can trust him pick my girl up from the bus/train station/work/home if I can’t make it.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Roger, yeah, roger that.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Roger, yeah, roger that.

  • Roger

    If I can trust him pick my girl up from the bus/train station/work/home if I can’t make it.

  • afrolista

    *lurker alert*
    i consider someone a true friend if i let them sit on my bed. I don’t have any chairs in my room and will offer someone a seat on the floor while i sit on the bed if i don’t “know them like that.”
    idk I’m just really particular about who’s hindparts touch my bed.

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      *throws VSB welcome glitter*

      • sweetbee

        There’s welcome glitter dust too?! I missed all the delurking welcomes… : (

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @sweetbee, welcome and * glitter, ziggy stardust, and birds * thrown at you

          • http://www.twitter.com/SexyCool13 SexyCool

            Panama,
            I’m going to need you to not *ever* throw glitter or stardust again ever in life.

          • http://www.twitter.com/SexyCool13 SexyCool

            Panama,
            I’m going to need you to not *ever* throw glitter or stardust again ever in life.

          • sweetbee

            @panama

            appreciate the glitter…birds….i’m gonna need you to return your special friends to their cages

          • sweetbee

            @panama

            appreciate the glitter…birds….i’m gonna need you to return your special friends to their cages

          • Be nice to me, I may be your lawyer one day

            *throwing temper tantrum* I got NO stardust nor glitter! lol

          • Be nice to me, I may be your lawyer one day

            *throwing temper tantrum* I got NO stardust nor glitter! lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @sweetbee, welcome and * glitter, ziggy stardust, and birds * thrown at you

      • sweetbee

        There’s welcome glitter dust too?! I missed all the delurking welcomes… : (

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      *throws VSB welcome glitter*

    • http://twitter.com/ManAboutIt Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame)

      Wow. I’d feel SUPER unwelcome (and look at the front door) if someone told me I had to sit on the floor. Not about beds or chairs so much as hospitality issues.

    • http://twitter.com/ManAboutIt Man About It (of Stuff Ghetto People Like fame)

      Wow. I’d feel SUPER unwelcome (and look at the front door) if someone told me I had to sit on the floor. Not about beds or chairs so much as hospitality issues.

    • Mo

      True story: When I was in high school, one of the girls in my church asked to borrow my brush. I gave it to her and let her keep it. Why? Because I didn’t know her like that. Mind you, we sang in the choir together, kinda grew up together and our families knew each other from wayback…but still. I did not know her like that and thus I did not know her grooming habits, so instead of chance getting rabies or something otherworldly gross, I just let her have the brush.

      That’s the mark of a true friend to me. If you can use my grooming products (sans washcloth and toothbrush) then we tight for life.

    • Mo

      True story: When I was in high school, one of the girls in my church asked to borrow my brush. I gave it to her and let her keep it. Why? Because I didn’t know her like that. Mind you, we sang in the choir together, kinda grew up together and our families knew each other from wayback…but still. I did not know her like that and thus I did not know her grooming habits, so instead of chance getting rabies or something otherworldly gross, I just let her have the brush.

      That’s the mark of a true friend to me. If you can use my grooming products (sans washcloth and toothbrush) then we tight for life.

    • Sasi Quaia

      @afrolista
      I so second that!! I don’t like everybody all on my bed, not only just the individual, but where ever they may have sat throughout the day.

      EX: You may be the cleanest person, but if you sat on the chair at a local dump-like bus station, I wouldn’t particularly like you to sit on my bed.

      I tell folks, I gotta put my face here so you can’t sit here. Nope.

    • Sasi Quaia

      @afrolista
      I so second that!! I don’t like everybody all on my bed, not only just the individual, but where ever they may have sat throughout the day.

      EX: You may be the cleanest person, but if you sat on the chair at a local dump-like bus station, I wouldn’t particularly like you to sit on my bed.

      I tell folks, I gotta put my face here so you can’t sit here. Nope.

  • afrolista

    *lurker alert*
    i consider someone a true friend if i let them sit on my bed. I don’t have any chairs in my room and will offer someone a seat on the floor while i sit on the bed if i don’t “know them like that.”
    idk I’m just really particular about who’s hindparts touch my bed.

  • MsEsquire77

    You value their opinion, would trust them with your children and have no doubt they’ll hold your secrets.

    My best friend and I have been like sisters for 20+ years. She’s guaranteed to by my maid-of-honor and my kids’ godmother.

  • MsEsquire77

    You value their opinion, would trust them with your children and have no doubt they’ll hold your secrets.

    My best friend and I have been like sisters for 20+ years. She’s guaranteed to by my maid-of-honor and my kids’ godmother.

More Like This