You know what conversation I’ll never have with my girlfriend? Give up? Good. I’ll never have the conversation where we discuss my “rating” of her.
There are bad ideas in life and then there are TERRIBLE BUBONIC PLAGUE AND SYPHILLIS bad ideas. Discussing your rating of any close friends of yours is definitely one of them. File it in with shooting yourself in the left testicle/breasticle as “things you should avoid at all costs.”
Hmm…but Panama…why is it such a bad idea?
I’m glad you asked. Let’s think about this.
We’ve already discussed platonic friends so let’s just run with the idea that men don’t have platonic friends – we just have friends we haven’t slept with…yet.
[***DISCLAIMER: I don’t have those types of friends. All of my female friends are platonic!!!! You read that, baby? Did you? Did you??? (Yes my girlfriend both reads and responds on VSB.com)***]
So assuming that men don’t have platonic friends and that for the most part we just want to see women naked (and let’s pretend Kamilah’s story and her two homeboys’ response was an anomaly), why is this a bad idea?
For a few reasons, actually. For one, there is no right answer to this question. She won’t believe you for two. You can’t tell her you think she’s a 10 because of course you’re lying and she knows your lying because she knows she’s not a 10 because despite her thinking she’s perfect she KNOWS she’s not and you telling her that she’s a dime is just placating her and trying to get into her goodiebox.
And women aren’t stupid. They know when we’re just saying what they want to hear. Which is interesting if you think about it. I don’t think most women want to hear the truth, but they also don’t want to hear a lie. Women just like voices.
Conversely, if you tell your homegirl that she’s a 7 then you have to explain to her why she’s not a 10. And trust me, broham, you DO NOT WANT TO explain to a woman you’re trying to see naked what you think is wrong with her.
There are two truisms in life. One: Black men are highly sensitive, especially if they’re from LA. Two: Nothing makes a chick more defensive (read: less likely to sleep with you) than hearing about what YOU think are her imperfections. She may say that she appreciates that you’re honest with her…and perhaps she does, but it still stings to hear that you think she’d be so much hotter if she, ya know, got a different face and added a couple SOLO cups to her breast size..and not to mention that weird twitch her right eyebrow seems to do on Thursdays. And trust me pimpin’, you’ll HAVE to have this conversation because she isn’t letting it go, hombre.
You may just want to give her the rating and keep it moving. I know I do. I see a chick, I rate a chick, I scratch myself, and I keep it moving. Ain’t a woman alive that is going to say, “You think I’m a 7…cool. What’s on TV?”
Further, if you tell her she’s a 6, you might hurt her feelings (read: no drawz). If you tell her that she’s an 8, she may be happy but she’ll want to know what she would need to do to become a 10 to which you should just reply:
“Become hotter.” And then throw something at her to change the subject.
Tell a chick she’s a 9? Sheeeeeeeeeeit. You might as well get ready to spend your afternoon convincing her that you actually mean it AND telling her what she’d need to do to become a 10.
The bottom line is that you never want to have to tell a woman her flaws unless she specifically asks about them because it will never end well. It just…is.
It was written.
Word.Life.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
Awww..thanks for the shout out!
At first I thought the “number generator” was a good idea…even tried to convince Champ, but now I totally get it…numbers are relative…it all comes down to timing, if the sheets are clean and whether we walked in the room with/without panties on…the goal is “doing it, doing it and doing it well”…unless of course you happen to be one of my two favorite anomalies, in which case the goal has already been achieved.
“At first I thought the “number generator” was a good idea…even tried to convince Champ, but now I totally get it”
ah yes. the “s” in smart brothas is for perSuade
Amen for not rating women but how do we get someone to tell us the honest truth if we dont get the man to do it? our friends arent going to do it because we are liable not to be friends with them after they read us real good. I have said this before that NO ONE is perfect so none of us will get a ten. All of us have something to work on POINT BLANK PERIOD……even Halle Berry, Boris Kodjoe, Morris Chestnut, and ……they just have money that keeps them on the up and up.
So who is going to tell us what we need to work on?
yo mama.
Thanks but no thanks. I got a friend who will actually tell me mostly anything. I just have to learn how not to wear my feelings on my sleeve.
Now, how would my mama know what would make me hotter to a man.
Isn’t that what gay friends are for?
“Isn’t that what gay friends are for?”
how is a gay man gonna let someone know what straight men like?
Cause men know what men want. My mother has no idea what would make me hotter.
Yeah, but she probably knows whats wrong with you.
LOL.
“Cause men know what men want”
i’m sorry, but this is terrible logic. a gay man isn’t gonna be an expert on what straight men think is hot because, ummm, he’s not straight. you cant ask somebody who isn’t attracted to your gender what people who are attracted to you gender find attractive.
i never understood the logic of women getting advice on how to deal with and be attractive to men from gay men and other straight women.
can someone please explain this to me?
“i never understood the logic of women getting advice on how to deal with and be attractive to men from gay men…”
“queer eye for the straight guy”, Michael Kors, Alexander McQueen, John Galliano, Andre Leon talley..the list goes on and on…
gay men ironically set “the standard” for what straight men find attractive. newsflash for ya.
i agree 100% with the comeback girl. it’s true a lot of gay men dictate straight female (& male) fashion. and when they put their skills to work, 9/10 you look way hotter than you would if you just dressed yourself. *please note- just because you’re gay does not mean you’re the arbiter of fashion. my ‘play uncle’ is gay, and if he had his say he’d have me lookin’ like condoleeza on a hot day.
“my ‘play uncle’ is gay, and if he had his say he’d have me lookin’ like condoleeza on a hot day.”
I just died. good nite LOL
@miss patterson: and when they put their skills to work, 9/10 you look way hotter than you would if you just dressed yourself.
except fashion isn’t why we think you’re hot. in general, just like men step up their shoe game to impress other men, you get all fashioned up for other women. we just dont want you to look a hot damn mess…and word to the wise…some of that “fashion” shit y’all think looks good…
…looks like a hot damn mess. word to sex and the city.
what you’re alluding to is your “flyness” not your hotness. just cuz a chick is fly doesnt mean she looks good. it means she dresses well (potentially), which doesnt get you hot points.
“what you’re alluding to is your “flyness” not your hotness. just cuz a chick is fly doesnt mean she looks good.”
**sherman hemsley**
my ‘play uncle’ is gay, and if he had his say he’d have me lookin’ like condoleeza on a hot day.
MEDIC!!!!! LMAO!!!!
asking a gay man what a straight man likes is like asking a blind man what a rainbow looks like
“asking a gay man what a straight man likes is like asking a blind man what a rainbow looks like”
thank you, deviant
Salute to Deev’s
gay men don’t DICKtate shit for what straight men LIKE. LOL!
that’s just some bass akwards shit.
Deev’s u and Champ already shutting this shit up so carry on. out fuc*ing standing as you have quoted before.
call if you need NUKES!
And yall go ahead and believe that if you want to…tell your ladies though in the meantime to empty their closets (of all the gay male inspired knock offs and designer things)
…she wouldn’t have shyt to wear)…including gap/banana republic and jcrew.) Fyk lets not even talk about Target…maybe she could wear a martha stewart comforter as a dress over at kmart.
but the pickins would be mighty slim/
so believe what you want.
The opinion of the gay man doesn’t carry as much weight as you think it does. How about instead of asking a gay due you ask a dude that wants to bang you what makes you more bangable when you wear it. I do that for the women I see naked. My thing is if you walking the streets with me I’d want you to highlight the abilities so I can see them. Why wear pants that make it look like you have no ass? Why put on a maternity shirt that makes you look like you have a beer gut?
Why do you assume gayness = fashion sense? Explain that. There are straight males with the ability to tell a woman what looks shitty or more bangable on her.
“Why do you assume gayness = fashion sense? Explain that.”
I don’t think I ever made that assumption. You guys did. Champ asked why are women seeking advice from gay and straight women about what straight men like…
I only offered the fashion industry as an example of what sells. Gay and straight women define what the standard is not just for fashion but generally for beauty.
it does seem a little backwards. But don;t shoot the messanger for deliverying the good news according to Vogue, Madamoiselle, Glamour, Essence, and Elle.
Maybe the next time I buy a pair of shoes..I ll walk out the store and find a straight guy to give me the truth…since I can;t find a straight guy who only wants to be my shoe boyfriend.
you may need a gay dude for that cause I know I don’t care nowhere near as much about women shoes as you or some gay dude does to give you an opinion outside of “they look like shit”. To me it seems that should be the only opinion that mattered..whether or not your shoes are shit.
going back to what was said earlier…fashion..shoes..has nothing to do with hotness. Hotness means you are bonable in a burlap sack and flip flops.
what is hotness?
I guess its different from person to person but to me its natural beauty. Do I look at you and forget what I was thinking about? The girl you see down the street and just as you ask your boys if they saw it they already know what youre talking about without you finishing the thought. Its not something you can quantify..it just is. The opposite of ugly. I don’t even kow what I’m talking about right now cause I don’t even know how to verbalize what it is. It just is.
i’m inclined to disagree just a bit. women are masters at dissecting ourselves, blame the media, blame society, blame men…whatever. So on some level I think the question leads to either confirmation of faults that we already believe we have (which we already obsess over anyway) or a new perceived fault for us to obsess over.
And personally I’d much rather have my friend tell me I need to invest in a comb or my breath is kickin than my friend-guy who’d I would much rather imagine thinks I’m perfect and gives me the little boost of confidence every time he tries in vain to get in the panties.
I don’t know. Just because I know I’m not smart doesn’t mean i want to hear that i’m stupid.
“i’m inclined to disagree just a bit. women are masters at dissecting ourselves, blame the media, blame society, blame men…whatever. So on some level I think the question leads to either confirmation of faults that we already believe we have (which we already obsess over anyway) or a new perceived fault for us to obsess over”
WOW this is truth right here.
Sometimes what we get back in a rating is what we already “bought” and “sold” about ourselves. Maybe we really “told” brother man we were a six on a subliminal level…and he gave it back to us verbally.
“Sometimes what we get back in a rating is what we already “bought” and “sold” about ourselves. Maybe we really “told” brother man we were a six on a subliminal level…and he gave it back to us verbally.”
that doesnt’ mean you ACTUALLY want to hear it from somebody else. we all want to think that we’re stars in the eyes of other people.
“we all want to think that we’re stars in the eyes of other people”
Well perhaps we should start to think that about ourselves FIRST.
now that is some mothertrucking gospel.
::applause::
That was REAL TALK!!!
Competant Confidence “when you got to out stunt every mothah in the room! Accept no substitute.” (@ least in your own mind)
All users of said competants are fair warned of being called booshie, stuck up, damn fool when not based in most others reality
I don’t think anyone can tell you this for sure. You might to sit down and have a long talk with yourself to find this out.
You know what you need to work on. At least you should be able to look at yourself objectively and see it. Most of us just don’t wanna be honest and admit what needs to be worked on. If you can’t do this you should have at least one friend or relative that tells you the truth. If not you need to trade in your people.
The only women that are prefect and look like a ten all the time are drag queens. Because they know what men want.
Except a drag queen has a penis…which is not what most men want, but already have. lol
I don’t think most men don’t want that.
I’m almost positive.
::snicker::
Almost positive?
You must live in Atlanta too.
nah…nowhere close.
I meant I don’t think most men want that…lol
gigi chokes: “The only women that are prefect and look like a ten all the time are drag queens. Because they know what men want.”
that’s some good shit ur on. u better blow that shit out…
laughables!
drasg queens do not know what men want. men want pussy not showtunes and wigs.
FTFOLMAO.
There it is the hetero male mission statement.
show tunes and wigs
BWAH!
I recieved my mission statement the first day of kiddy garden the first time one of my friends dared me to grab some girls butt. I grabbed that butt.
Deviant is down for the cause. from a young age he would grab a butt for hetero males every where
“men want pussy not showtunes and wigs.”
Why must I cry?
bwhaah
“drasg queens do not know what men want. men want pussy not showtunes and wigs.”
***lil melvin williams playing the deacon on the wire***
“men want pussy not showtunes and wigs.”
LOL!!! Priceless…and if it wasn’t so vulgar I would nominate it for t-shirt status!!!
it’s t-shirt material regardless!!
For me, it’s my sister. She never holds back and it’s caused arguments, but I appreciate the honesty. I have a couple of close friends who do it too.
ask an unbiased person!!
I TRY not to judge people unless i’m willing to be judged by them also. You gotta be able to take it if you’re gonna dish it out.
No one really wants to hear critism, constructive or otherwise. And u twist the knife just a lil bit deeper if u hear it from the opposite sex.
“You gotta be able to take it if you’re gonna dish it out”
This is truth.
“No one really wants to hear critism, constructive or otherwise.”
hmmm, i disagree. i think it depends on the criticism. i dont think most (sane) people mind sincere construct criticism about stuff they can actually change.
AMEN
“i dont think most (sane) people mind sincere construct criticism about stuff they can actually change.”
There it is. That’s the problem with ratings. Most of the things that make you not a ’10′ are things you can’t change, not even surgically if you were so inclined (‘your eyes are too far apart’, ‘your face isn’t symmetrical’, ‘you have a big ass forehead’). So people just walk away depressed.
Ur right ForReal..
And tactfulness is the key. Its not what you say, its how you say it!
first and foremost…slow clap to Panama on the shout out to his girlfriend. that was sweet.
secondly, P you have never been more RIGHT in your life. Trust me ladies, you never want to hear a guy’s rating of you, EVER. i did this once, no twice. and both times i heard the truth and it stung. the first time i was compared to Lauren Sanchez on My13 news in LA and the second time to a naked Angelina Jolie. I think I spent the rest of the evening curled up in a ball in the corner of my apartment wishing i had the power of voodoo magic to curse the unnamed truth assailant. (I also had a secret death wish for every dime piece that was ever commented on for the remainder of that relationship. yes, i’m hard headed) My girl friends are liars, so that leaves me with one person I can count on for the honest to God truth and that’s (drum roll)….my mother. My mom is a gym rat and she expects the same of me (to a fault). My mother’s truth hurts no less than a man’s truth would but I know that there’s no hidden agenda in her telling it like it is. My mother sends me articles on visceral fat, bought me a pedometer for xmas and a special water bottle gym tote for my birthday. She also has a habit of reminding me about the prevalence of type 2 diabetes in Black families (esp ours). Yeah, she’s brutal but I think I’d rather get it from her than a dude. So trust me when I say that I will never ever ever, foreva evah, ask a guy for my rating (again)! ~the end~
“My mother sends me articles on visceral fat, bought me a pedometer for xmas and a special water bottle gym tote for my birthday. She also has a habit of reminding me about the prevalence of type 2 diabetes in Black families (esp ours).”
a pedometer? damn. usually i just get socks from my mom. and turkey
Lauren Sanchez is hot.
I got a rating a couple times. A close friend of my boyfriend compared me to Sanna Lathan, an ex said Gabrielle Union. I dont feel better but everyone is flawed. Hell I know a couple of things that would make them irresistible.
i know this chick that once told me folks said she favored sanaa lathan.
my guess is stevie wonder told her that.
i just felt like sharing that.
If I was informed by an individual either solicited or unsolicited what my perceived flaws are then I’d listen.
I had a guy tell me that my wardrobe needed some work. I was surprised he said it, but hell I knew it was true. And I gave him some. I like to reward honesty, not punish it.
“I had a guy tell me that my wardrobe needed some work. ”
saying “you could step your closet game up” is alot different than “you need to take your weight game down a notch”
My feelings are if you want to hit it and quit then by all means don’t do anything that will jeopardize that. But if you want to be around for the long haul then you have to be able to take a jab of honesty every now and then.
OK!…one only takes a Saks card(although I am not a proponent of credit card debt).
lauren sanchez is a whore. oops…sorry, did i say that out loud?
Miss Patterson let me see if i guess his right. you look like Lauren Sanchez a lil around the hair, and face area and skin tone but with lips like Angelina Jolie however you’re a lil more swollen all over.?
just guessing.
hell to the naw. when i said “the assailant” compared me to sanchez & jolie i meant that he told me i wasn’t hot or tight like these ladies were. sorry, wrong verb. i should have said he ‘destroyed’ me against these ladies. better? does that work? His exact words were “You’re not that tight, [sanchez/jolie] are dimes”. Ya know, I should write a book damnit!
ya know what? “destroyed” is a little dramatic…he just hurt my feelings.
“You’re not that tight, [sanchez/jolie] are dimes”.
WHAT??? My mouth just dropped! That is not a realistic comparison. Those women have the money, top stylists, nutritionists, lighting, etc to make them look good.
My scoring range for a everyday woman ranges from 8.0 – 8.5 .. +1 if she’s a professional ad model type or a someone on TV. But if she’s not a top notch woman I’ll just call her a 8.0 .. That way I still give her props on what she’s working with.. I just don’t tell her that the most she can get with out being a actress is 8.5 . It seems to satisfy their curiosity enough. Of course this is also a reflection of me not dealing with anything that’s below a 8.0 also. Gotta keep my A-team going strong. lol
And this is why there are so many ugmos in Texas walking around like they’re 10s…thanks Eathan!
LOL!
Hey…we don’t have that many ugmos. Don’t talk about my state we have our cuties too!
This is my impression on how I feel about the 1 to 10 rating:
Monk {July 14, 2008 at 7:26 pm}
I think a more appropriate scale would be that of a percentage…one may get a 0 – 100% as oppose to 1 – 10. As a result, we’ll be able to break things down more deeply and access other qualities that may be given extra credit but at a degree more accurate than just giving a point for that or a point for this.
We can also break down percentages based on things that are important to us based on our preferences. For example, in the looks department, one may be eligible for 50% points. Personality, another 25%…Intelligence and Wisdom, 15%…Sense of Humor, 10% (or however you wanna do your break down).
One would be eligible for extra credit points for other shyt they bring to the table such as being a mix between Emeril and G.Garvin in the kitchen, Martha Stewart and a hardworking Mexican housekeeper at the crib, and Janet Jacme and Vanessa Del Rio in the sack.
Damn, after typing that, why do I have a strange desire to watch “Weird Science”??
_________________________________________________
I reposted that just to say that we shouldn’t rate folks on a 1-10 basis (even though conditioning has led us to this) and we should be more critical in who we choose to be with.
With that said, if cleverly spoken a guy can talk himself out of that sticky situation by saying he don’t subscribe to the “1 to 10″ propaganda and he prefers a more open-minded approach to ‘rating’.
Just a thought…
With that said, if cleverly spoken a guy can talk himself out of that sticky situation by saying he don’t subscribe to the “1 to 10? propaganda and he prefers a more open-minded approach to ‘rating’
My thoughts exactly Monk. prefer a more open minded approach chances are they will get you extra credit for being smooth
“One would be eligible for extra credit points for other shyt they bring to the table such as being a mix between Emeril and G.Garvin in the kitchen, Martha Stewart and a hardworking Mexican housekeeper at the crib….”
LOL
What if she had a mean cooking game like MS/EL/WP/GG…but knew how to dial merry maid real good.
‘With that said, if cleverly spoken a guy can talk himself out of that sticky situation by saying he don’t subscribe to the “1 to 10? propaganda and he prefers a more open-minded approach to ‘rating’. ‘
actually, the best way out of that sticky situation is to tell a woman that you don’t believe in rating women in the first place. it’s demeaning and degrading to reduce a woman to a mere number when she encompasses so much more. a woman is too special to sum up so easily.
just tell her that you can’t give her a rating because God keeps shingin a ray of sunshine down on one of his angels so its hard to see anything except the beautiful glow that she’s giving off.
yeah, that’ll do it. that’ll get you in a “sticky” situation…if ya know what i mean.
“actually, the best way out of that sticky situation is to tell a woman that you don’t believe in rating women in the first place. it’s demeaning and degrading to reduce a woman to a mere number when she encompasses so much more. a woman is too special to sum up so easily.
just tell her that you can’t give her a rating because God keeps shingin a ray of sunshine down on one of his angels so its hard to see anything except the beautiful glow that she’s giving off.”
….awww Panny that is just the sweetest thing.
“yeah, that’ll do it. that’ll get you in a “sticky” situation…if ya know what i mean.”
….and then he fumbles.
“….and then he fumbles.”
good think football is a “contact sport” if ya know what i mean…
[***DISCLAIMER: I don’t have those types of friends. All of my female friends are platonic!!!! You read that, baby? Did you? Did you??? (Yes my girlfriend both reads and responds on VSB.com)***]
this my friend is funny. I’m pretty sure it made her smile.
Indeed it did….her I mean…I’m not her. *disclaimer* I am not Panny’s girlfriend…lol.
A guy I liked told me some of my flaws, unsolicited. I was kinda igged by him. For one, I already knew the flaws (I may have the flaws, but I am not BLIND, sheesh). For two, if I fix said flaws, I didn’t want it to seem like I did them because he said something. Either way, he lost points for that :-\
i agree, unsolicited ones are the worst. b*stards.
“i agree, unsolicited ones are the worst. b*stards.”
i’m mad you felt the need to censor bastard
now.. an unsolicited evaluation might just catch you a chin-check. for real.
or one of miss t-lee’s throat punches! lol!
Miss P—you beat me to it.
or one of miss t-lee’s throat punches! lol!
a throat punch would be perfect but you have to catch him while he’s saying something dumb so he can choke on his words
“a throat punch would be perfect but you have to catch him while he’s saying something dumb so he can choke on his words”
I like your technique, grasshopper.
One time I made the mistake of asking a guy I was dating what he thought my rating was. I’ve always though of myself as a 7.5-8 but this man said I was a 6. My ego was all messed up especially when he proceeded to explain why I was a 6 and what I should do to realistically become an 8. As a woman I was not ready for such a detailed critique of my physical appearance. Then finally I asked him why he wanted to date me if I was only a 6 and he stated that he liked my intellect and personality. He also stated that he doesn’t know that many dark skin Black women who were higher than a 7. Needless to say I was fuming and wasn’t feeling ole boy too much after that comment and he definitely didn’t get any loving from me. Anyway ladies, don’t ask for a rating and men don’t tell because your answer will never be satisfactory. Nowadays I don’t ask a man if he finds me attractive, I assume in my own little world that he wouldn’t date me unless he thought I was a 10 hehehe.
“Nowadays I don’t ask a man if he finds me attractive”
this is the thing. if a guy’s dating you, that means he probably approached you, which means that he finds you attractive. just leave it at that.
THANK YOU!! cheese-and-rice!!! if he’s dating/f*cking you… he’s got to be attracted to something about you…so let it role…maybe it’s just me…but I think it shows a lack of confidence to ask if a guy is feeling you and why…or of course you could be dating a guy who doesn’t dole out compliments like he should…and in that case…tell him to kick rocks!
you know, this actually is another reason why i’m not a huge fan of women approaching and bagging men, because stuff like this tends to come up more often.
women typically have more of a need to feel that their mate finds them physically attractive than we do, something which can be assumed off the bat if the guy bags you.
*Collection plate*
Exactly why I wait for the approach…cause if EYE gotta do the approaching, then I’m gonna wonder.
“you know, this actually is another reason why i’m not a huge fan of women approaching and bagging men…”
Champ, you beat me to it. This is so key. If you approach a dude and/or offer free ass, he may very well think you are just a 5. He just might be bored so he takes you up on your offer. I can’t imagine dating someone and wondering if it’s because he was either too polite or desperate to turn me down.
“if he’s dating/f*cking you… he’s got to be attracted to something about you.”
Yes, but it’s only positive if he takes you out in public. If he’s keeping you behind closed doors than well, you know exactly what he’s attracted to. lol
“If he’s keeping you behind closed doors than well, you know exactly what he’s attracted to. lol”
‘s not that hard to figure out. but then again, how do you admit that to yourself?
I’ve never asked a man to rate me. I didn’t know people really did this. Back in elementary school, the boys would have a list of girls with their “number”, but I didn’t know this stretched over into the adult years. You learn something new everyday, I tell ya.
I agree with you V. It all does seem silly. How can you simplify something so complex? I guess that would be considered chick logic.
“Back in elementary school, the boys would have a list of girls with their “number”, but I didn’t know this stretched over into the adult years.”
I remember that in my elementary school too. The boys would put a list together and rank the girls in order. They would tell all of us how we ranked (even though we didn’t ask). I came in second but one of my friends came in last. I never thought about it then, but it must have hurt.
“He also stated that he doesn’t know that many dark skin Black women who were higher than a 7.”
If that’s the case, why are there a lot of supermodels with dark skin? I’m so tired of this whole skin color debate and I know that the media spreads this myth. I come from an African country that loves our range of skin tones and I’m so glad that my mom raised to show that we are all beautiful.
HHHAAAA!!!! This post is so true and funny.
Women just like voices…LMAO!!!
I have watched my girlfriends do this to guys all the time. They will go on and on until they get what they want to hear. I did this to my ex and he told me the absolute truth and I was pissed and questioned him about it. Once he got fed up with the me bugging the hell out of him, he reminded me not to ask something I didn’t want the truth too. Plus it help that he had been my best friend for years.
But this is question a man should never answer. Somebody else can answer it, but if you are in a relationship or plan on having sex with this chick then you shouldn’t answer that question. I have to let my friend read this post because you are talking about her…lol.
tell her!!!!! sound the alarms and let the world hear the truth.
okay, that was dramatic of me.
“become hotter.” – lmao
but for real.. do chicks really ask this? we all have mirrors that work, right? not to mention.. who needs the external validation. either you know you’re Awesome or you don’t.
+ P’s strictly platonic friend waving to the girlfriend
“but for real.. do chicks really ask this? we all have mirrors that work, right?”
CTFU
who needs the external validation. either you know you’re Awesome or you don’t.
@ BOOM – ALREADY!! (hive five, chest bump, secret “we know we cute” handshake!)
word, lol… isnt it true how unfounded awesomeness never shines through?
Waves back to Boom, P’s strictly platonic friend
FUNNY!!!…LOL
Women who are already honest w/themselves know their flaws. Trust, lukewarm women know they aren’t hot. They don’t want to hear it because it’s something they can’t change. You can’t change ugly but so much–assuming surgery isn’t an option.
Surgery doesn’t make you hot it makes you look like a tupperware monster. Ugly people should just work on their personalities.
Ugly people should just work on their personalities.
bwahahahahah.
Ugly people should just work on their personalities.
**greater mountain of hope on third street that used to be fourth street pentecostal baptist down by the river side (down by) on the road to jericho non-denominational protestant church**
The “down by” made me laugh out loud at work. Thank you kindly but um, stop trying to get me fired Panama!
Ok…the extra down by actually brought tears to my eyes while I was laughing.
Yo who needs to change it. There is a person for everybody and their is a circle for them to hang in too. After all Denzel wouldn’t go clubbin w/ Beetlejuice (back when he was dating n all). Need I quote the late great Robin Harris again “Follow an ugly person home! See what you find. More Ugly People”
“Yo who needs to change it. There is a person for everybody and their is a circle for them to hang in too. After all Denzel wouldn’t go clubbin w/ Beetlejuice (back when he was dating n all)”
you know, i always feel bad when i see this (by “this” i mean the group of chicks in the club/bar, where three are cute and one is the opposite)
question: to avoid the awkwardness of one person getting exponentially less (or more) love than the rest of the group, is it a bad thing to consider only clubbing with friends who are somewhat close to your “range”?
I think that this is a question for the ladies to concider. Cuz If I’m out w/ the guys and I got a some trim on the hook. Even if they rode w/ me sorry for em. I’m out the door and I know they would be on the same tip if it were them.
You know what that mugly chick is there for. Croud control. She is there to make the other ones look better. And she is the bail out chick in case there aren’t any par prospects. (we came together we leave together)
If I were to truely concider it. For myself I don’t particularly care who I’m w/. I’m gonna make a good time. I choose my friends on fun factor.
“question: to avoid the awkwardness of one person getting exponentially less (or more) love than the rest of the group, is it a bad thing to consider only clubbing with friends who are somewhat close to your “range”?”
This is an absolute must! I dont have any ugly friends, and I honestly believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. But I do have a few friends and family members close in age that I just wont go out with. When I go out I like to wear makeup, put on a cute outfit, and make sure my hair is done. I used to feel so akward when I’d go out and I’d be the only one in the group looking like I made an effort.
I think its the same for guys. I think men are harder on other men when it comes to stuff like this. If I had a dollar for all the times my male friends cracked on some other guys sneaker game…
I choose people to hang out with based on the fun we have. Granted, if you look a hot mess (outfit wise), I will tell you but if you want to go anyway, let’s ride out. lol At the end of the night, we’ll have a great story.
EXCEPTIONS…if all your assets are hanging out, I’m not going with you. I will love you from a distance. I got tricked before going on a trip with a friend I hadn’t seen in 10 years. This fool whipped off her bathrobe and had on the most tiny bathing suit I’d ever seen and she was not a small girl. It was like girls gone wild, but by surprise. Needless to say, we got swarmed by horny men with video cameras on the beach. Never again…although I still got a great story out of it.
10′s are like Unicorns…….Mythical Creatures.
I have never been asked this question by a girl I was dating. I don’t think I would answer it if I ever was. With some stuff there is just no winning with a woman.
Conscience relents: “With some stuff there is just no winning with a woman.”
with most things there is no satisfying a woman.
too much is not enough. LOL!
…heeey watch it there genius.
Preach …
I told ya’ll the other day.
NGCCOT (no good can come of this) regarding the rating system.
I’m a sensitive chick– I know.
Might as well ask what their “magic” number is.
Did you have to find out the hard way Brotha P?
::snicker::
Nope, I’ve never had to find out the hard way, b/c I’m just not doing it. I got into a lengthy discussion a few years ago with these two chicks I knew who were badgering me for their ratings. I REFUSED to tell them. And do you know what these chicks did…
…went to dudes who didn’t know any better and ruined those friendships by asking questions they didn’t want to know the answer too.
I’m all about Friendship Retention. won’t you be…won’t you be…please won’t you be my neighbor.
I’m all about Friendship Retention
I gotcha.
“There are two truisms in life. One: Black men are highly sensitive, especially if they’re from LA. Two: Nothing makes a chick more defensive (read: less likely to sleep with you) than hearing about what YOU think are her imperfections”
——————-
Numbers are SOOOO subjective though. I’ll ask, not because I WANT to know the truth, but because I’m curious about HIS TRUTH.
One man’s ugly mole, is another man’s beauty mark.
I think its more telling about how we as women become undone, by ONE or even TWO men’s opinion of us. And interestingly enough sometimes those numbers have MORE TO DO WITH WHAT WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES.
I’ve seen some men who in their own minds were 9s..and dammit if they weren’t once they started to subtly convince me.
“I’ll ask, not because I WANT to know the truth, but because I’m curious about HIS TRUTH.”
i know this is the reason i asked “the assailant”. even though his truth was ‘subjective’ i ultimately wanted to know what he thought of me…and not in the general sense but in the specific flattering sense.
” know this is the reason i asked “the assailant”. even though his truth was ’subjective’ i ultimately wanted to know what he thought of me…and not in the general sense but in the specific flattering sense. ”
Not the “assailant”???? LOL
I just never fully buy the rating all the way around. Its just to “self revealing”. When a man (who approaches and pursues and woos YOU) how bad could you in fact be??? He chose you!!!
And when it comes to personality flaws…people are the first to notice and judge things they don’t necessarily like about themselves.
Physically if a guy (who adored me last week) all of sudden thinks my ass is too big, well one of two things are going on. a) I’m projecting on to him that I hate my ass (cause generally it was the same size yesterday) b). there are again physical things about himself that he dislikes.
And then all around I’m questioning my choice in him. How do you go from pursuing someone enough to want them (and them to judge them as WAY less than perfect) Cause for me if I’m getting well below a 7. And you date 9s…well what is that saying about his judgement.
this fool said “the assailant”… I am too through…I think you just need to move PateeCakes…cuz you’re cute and shit…them west coast cats are tripping…who wouldn’t want a girl that’s cute, reads books, is funny, has low visceral fat AND owns a pedometer! “the assailant”I am still sniggling in this one!
EAST COAST 2009 -yea yuh!
i agree with Goodeness…get thee to DC (or at least back to the NE/mid atlantic)…guys would sop you up like gravy on a biscuit.
thanks chica. i’ve always wanted to be sopped up…lol. i’m stoooopid.
Comeback thinks: “I’ll ask, not because I WANT to know the truth, but because I’m curious about HIS TRUTH. ”
not so much but you get closer to it later with:
“And interestingly enough sometimes those numbers have MORE TO DO WITH WHAT WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES.”
validation about what is most of the time an inflated view of yourself. narcissism and delusions of grandeur brought on to deny your own insecurities.
(buzzer goes off) that’s our time for today, next week i want you to look more closely at why all this matters to you. …and why you may be insecure about who and what you are. have Ymari (my secretary) schedule you for the same time next week.
“validation about what is most of the time an inflated view of yourself. narcissism and delusions of grandeur brought on to deny your own insecurities.”
Gotta call bullshyt on that one. When is it narcisstic to believe that you are attractive enough to engage in relationships with men who would never judge you critically-particularly when the thing that endeared him most to you…is not what he hates???
Narcissim is when ego is inflated for manipulative purposes. Self-love (and self-protection) is hardly an agenda which seeks to hurt another.
—
(tell Ymari) she’s fired….you can’t pay the lease on 25/hr.
meant to say: “is now what he hates”.
Comeback cumsback with:
“Gotta call bullshyt on that one. When is it narcisstic to believe that you are attractive enough to engage in relationships with men who would never judge you critically-particularly when the thing that endeared him most to you…is not what he hates???”
…but how does that make you feeel?
whooo weee! that shit sounds personal. this is not the information i responded to. somebody stepped on a tampon didn’t he! daaaaayum! that was homie the clownish and shits. LOL!
You proceed with: “Narcissim is when ego is inflated for manipulative purposes.”
perhaps you’re right. my bad i thought it was:
excessive love or admiration of oneself. see synonyms at conceit.
or:
a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
Comebacks with: “self-love (and self-protection) is hardly an agenda which seeks to hurt another.”
alls i can say is people often hurt themselves. we do have straight jackets and mental health staffers though. LOL!
heh heh heh (inhale) whooooooo!
love you babe.
please take your invoice on the way out. LOL!
“whooo weee! that shit sounds personal. this is not the information i responded to”
nawl it wasn’t. All I’m saying is your rating ain’t gospel. Nobody is asking…well what if my rating is only HIS TRUTH. What if its what I think partly think of myself.
I aint payin’ that invoice…you don’t even have starbucks, the toilet’s broken, and the leather couch has a hole in the middle.
Come on now…the passion only comes from wanting to do this for a living oneday.
my couch gotta hole in it. LOL!
…and the toilet WAS broken because you are using a whole roll of 3-ply everytime you pee. …and we need a nuclear waste disposal team for your blood cloths . (femenine napkins) LOL!
the same thing a nicca finds cute beforehand (i.e. whiny voices, acting helpless, nervous ticks etc.) were never cute really, just he hadn’t yet become inundated with them/it and the novelty of you was not enough to make the shit SEEM cute any longer. reality is a hell of a drug.
be more self accepting to the point where it doesn’t matter so much what another thinks of you. i’m not asking that we live in denial of our shortcumings or not work on things that will make us a better person in every way but don’t allow your personally percieved value/view be so influenced by what others think. recognize that we all have special and unique gifts that no one else has. work on mastering the inner you as much as the outer you.
Ymari will take care of you on the way out. now stop hating and pay your bill nicca. LOL!
YOUR SOFA IS IN DISREPAIR.
and I won’t even comment on the toilet comment that is so gross. Are you sure you even have an office “assistant/manager” secretary is rather non PC.
“be more self accepting to the point where it doesn’t matter so much what another thinks of you. i’m not asking that we live in denial of our shortcumings or not work on things that will make us a better person in every way but don’t allow your personally percieved value/view be so influenced by what others think. ”
we are saying the same thing. However, I only add that the “beau” is usually there mirroring back what you think about yourself and how he views himself as well. I only wished to go deeper than…”i love me dribble”.
now stop practicing in your mama’s basement..
‘now stop practicing in your mama’s basement..’
burn
Comes again: “secretary is rather non PC.
my “assistant” is a secretary.
a sanitary worker is still a “garbage man.”
and what you’re talking is “shit” not fecal matter.
i could be practicing on the corner of hollywood and vine and my couch may be in disrepair but i know people who gladly pay to lay on it. (laying my smack down since…)
heh heh heh (inhales) whooooo!
Comeback
Comeback: ” I only add that the “beau” is usually there mirroring back what you think about yourself and how he views himself as well. I only wished to go deeper than…”i love me dribble”.”
thats interesting that you believe that your man is mirroring back what you think of yourself and how he sees himself.
the “i love me dribble.” is funny but…
when he sizes you up:
he spits back a mixture of how he thinks u see u and how he see’s himself.
what do you think causes this?
“what do you think causes this?”
human nature. If opposites attract on a physical level. The soul is often attracted on a deeply familiar one.
I think the trick ultimately is that as you see yourself in a better more loving light, the person that you attract also follows suit.
“Numbers are SOOOO subjective though. I’ll ask, not because I WANT to know the truth, but because I’m curious about HIS TRUTH. ”
hmm. good freakin point Comeback Girl. I think there is something to be said for wanting to know if the dude you are with feels lucky to have you or like he’s not getting no younger so he might as well do it…
“I think its more telling about how we as women become undone, by ONE or even TWO men’s opinion of us.”
I never gave much thought to this but it’s totally true. Women (many women) are in need of a VSB self-esteem workshop.
True dat Queen. I thought the brothas were writing a relationship book.
That’s why a woman shouldn’t ask such questions. And you are correct for all the reason you stated. There is no correct answer.
It is a common saying that we women want to be lied to. While we will never admit it, it is true. But we don’t think it is.
Now this doesn’t mean that we don’t have our days when we like to be coddled and made to feel “beautiful and special”.
But in general avoid answering any questions of ratings at all cost.
P.S. You know what’s even funnier? Most women would respond to what I wrote by saying ‘I am grown enough to handled being told the truth. I don’t want no one lying to me.”
Don’t fall for that. You will find yourself living in a dry funk.
“It is a common saying that we women want to be lied to. While we will never admit it, it is true. But we don’t think it is.”
i wouldn’t call em lies as much as “massaged truths”
Yeah eff that life is hard enough, bras hurt enough, going to the salon every week is costly enough, being compared to unrealistic standards of beauty on TV is damaging enough…I don’t need some lil’ punk ass fool that looks like a mix between Elephant Man and the Taco Bell Chihuahua telling me I’m a 6.5. I won’t ask and please don’t OFFER to tell me. Case closed.
I don’t need some lil’ punk ass fool that looks like a mix between Elephant Man and the Taco Bell Chihuahua telling me I’m a 6.5
**crying**
I don’t need some lil’ punk ass fool that looks like a mix between Elephant Man and the Taco Bell Chihuahua telling me I’m a 6.5
and you know what funny as hell? HE will never ask someone what his rating is…
Hayle nah…he already ASSumes he’s at least a 9…you telling he’s a 4.5 will label you, in his mind, as a “hater”.
and you know what funny as hell? HE will never ask someone what his rating is…
HE BET NOT!!!!!
thing is, most of us dont care. i’ve never even WONDERED what my possible rating would be. i’m sexxy. screw you if you think otherwise.
i got self-esteem. also know as ESTEEM OF MY MOTHERF*CKING SELF.
“thing is, most of us dont care.”
i alluded to this in a comment monday. most of us could really care less.
i got self-esteem. also know as ESTEEM OF MY MOTHERF*CKING SELF
I want this on a t-shirt
I think we may need to pay royalties to a-pimp-named-slickback, magic money mike, you know katt williams otherwise it would be awesome
Ok…I had to youtube his special just so I could see it when I read Panny’s comment.
“…you done got wit a nigga and now u talking bout you f*cked up my self esteem…b!tch it’s called SELF ESTEEM…it’s ESTEEM OF YOUR MOTHERF*CKING SELF b!tch…how the fuck could i fuck up how you feel about yooou simple b!tch.”
word. and he ain’t gettin’ none of my money. in fact, that whole self-esteem big was the only part i found funny from his whole routine.
he’s way funnier as the pimp in friday after next than as katt williams, the comedian.
three questions that should never be asked under any circumstances by either parties in a relationship:
1. whats my score?
2. whats your (sex) number?
3. am i the best you’ve had?
3 is actually the only one that can ever be brought up in a positive manner, but only if the person you happen to be with at that time IS the best
all 3 of those questions are asking for t-lee’s famous throat punch…
1 – don’t do it…EVER!
2 – it doesn’t matter (s)he’s with you now, so dont go bringing up old shit!
3 – IF I am the “best” (so far)…then you will tell me, or I won’t know…but I will NEVER ask!
“all 3 of those questions are asking for t-lee’s famous throat punch…”
Shol’ you right Ray-Ray…
Those BIG 3 are just asking for problems. BIG PROBLEMS.
Shol’ you right Ray-Ray…
t-lee…no waaaay! not og bobby johnson’s boy! no waaaaaaay!!! south central son!
I love that movie. Bad as it was…lol!!!
Lol…yall are so silly!
it wasn’t no “straight outta brooklyn” – possibly the worst black movie of all time to include the “trois” series, holiday heart, and any and all no limit movies.
hmm…add cash money movies too b/c those were just terrible. oh yes, and the movie constellation with billy dee williams, hill harper, gabrielle union, and a bunch of other ninjas with names you know…that movie was mothertrucking terrible AND un-entertaining.
oh yes, and any movie with ja rule in it. and pras.
you know what…there really are a lot of bad movies that get greenlighted…
how could you forget “love and a bullet”???? this movie is so unintentionally terrible that its actually watchable. it’s the black version of “the boondock saints”
Holiday Heart and Trois—these are truly bad.
Trois wasn’t even sexxy…how you make a movie like that unsexxy? Shame!!!!
I’m Bout It was so terrible. How you gonna make a movie with sound so bad that I had to turn my TV on full volume and still couldn’t hear it?! I’ve watched bootlegs that were worse!!!
Let’s not forget about Just Another Girl on the IRT.
so true…it’s so bad that i wrote a review of it as one of my first posts…EVER. way back in 2004.
http://jacksongtickle.com/2004/06/23/why-part-i/
Got Damn 2004??? yall been doing this for a LONG time. 2004 in blog years puts me back at now laters, double dutch and captain crunch.
“Got Damn 2004??? yall been doing this for a LONG time. 2004 in blog years puts me back at now laters, double dutch and captain crunch.”
actually p dates back to 03 (i think), and i got my start in 02, lol. like i said before, we aint exactly spring chickens up in this bitch.
“actually p dates back to 03 (i think), and i got my start in 02, lol. like i said before, we aint exactly spring chickens up in this bitch.”
well i used to get down on my etch a sketch with musings on life and love…this was 25 years ago…does that count. LOL
naw jk…much respect due and shyt.
I actually started blogging on my birthday in 2004 after much prodding from Liz and Killacal. I’m 4 years in the game…
ya’ll been doing this thing DAILY for that long? I gotta bow down so low I can lick my stilletto…that’s some pretty fly shit!
(bad Jamaican accent) RRRRREESPECT!!!!
“ya’ll been doing this thing DAILY for that long? I gotta bow down so low I can lick my stilletto…that’s some pretty fly shit!”
nah, lol. on our own personal sites we’d update maybe once or twice a week.
“Deuce here baby” LOL
LOL!!!!
you mean O.G. Killa Bobby Johnson
1 AND 2 should definitely never be asked. If the person really feels you, they won’t give you a straight/honest answer. #3…I don’t ask this of men (I’ve had quite enough validation of my “skills”)…and I certainly prefer they not ask me. “Is it good” will suffice. “Is it good”, if you’re working it out, will get an enthusiastic response. “Am I the best”…I WILL pretend I didn’t hear you. If you are, I’ll volunteer it, no need to ask…
Seriously I asked a dude #2 question one time–his number was in the triple digits and I was instantly turned off.
Don’t do this to yourself ladies. Don’t worry about where he gained all the experience from.
Just get him tested, make sure everything is all good and proceed to get what you need.
Don’t ask me my number either, I don’t want “that look”. If it’s higher than zero, you’re not gonna like it anyway…CTFU.
See, that’s what I’m saying. A SMART man won’t ask me my number…he’ll just thank those that came before him and reap the benefits!
oh! that’s what the champ meant by “sex number”. i see, uh yeah, potentially a bad move. but i still ask it…and the sex # question has never provoked an argument. the other questions on champ’s list have however.
“Is it good”
JBoogie..don’t be typing stufflike this…I am at work..and this ish is giving me flashbacks! lord!
LOL…girl, sowwy…take a break if you need to!
“Is it good”
The only acceptable time to ask this is during said act. I’m not even sure if it’s acceptable then, you should really know the answer, but at that time it’s more rhetorical I guess. LOL
1. I lie about
2. I create an alternate reality and lie convincingly about
3. I’ve never had to ask…the squirting thing usually keeps me ahead of the game. But I usually volunteer the info good or bad…if ur getting kicked out at 3am know that i’ve had enough of you in my space to last a lifetime and that you will probably be excluded from my “fabricated” sex count.
“I’ve never had to ask…the squirting thing usually keeps me ahead of the game.”
**quietly reminiscing to himself about his favorite squirter**
that you will probably be excluded from my “fabricated” sex count.
LOL!!! Yep–if you get kicked out, you don’t count on my list…
Ah yes, the fabricated “count”…where mofos who couldn’t get it done are NOT included. ‘Tis true…if I get up after the deed and say something along the lines of, “well, I gotta get up early in the morning, so…um”, that’s your cue…and the last time you make that far.
gotdam i sware you get cool points for being a squirter. i lubbbbs me some squirters. thats prolly cause im a freak in the sack yo. …and glutonous too. i guess sexually i’m a greedy genius. i hit the shit ad nauseum like i’m never gonna get any more this yr. specially when it’s slippery. adina can’t even handle a freak like me. dam i went on a rant. lemme call somebody. Ymari get that ass in here now!
heh heh heh (inhales) whoooooo!
yeah well u know…i does what i do.
“When she came like rain it poured n oooh baby I want some more” Goooo
**feeling like I’m in good company w/ my freakdom**
Yowzah.
That’s all I’m saying…
No even if they are the best I’d never admit it. Then they wont work any harder.
I’d never even think to ask such a question. A platonic friend’s opinion wouldn’t matter to me anyway. If I’m not interested in you like that (clearly I’m not if you’re a friend) then, who cares? Especially when another guy could have a totally different opinion than the next.
If a guy gave me his unsolicited opinion in that way I’d think he was a nitpicky little b!tch. I hate nitpicky little b!tches.
@K I think the platonic friend would give you a friend’s perspective from a male point of view…but again…who does that? I wouldn’t ask a man (friend or foe) nothing about nothing! It’s asking for trouble!
I generally don’t view one man’s opinion as a representation of men how men think in general. His opinion wouldn’t hold much weight w/ me…especially if he’s not on point himself.
I hate nitpicky little b!tches.
I need this shirt!!!!
i wonder if the brothas have been keeping track of the shirt quotes….hmmmm?!?!?
we have been. fret not, we got this.
wee iz professhinal.
c’mon then! i got my paypal account all set up and sh*t!
I think I’m just gonna start designing these and pass them out at our family renuion…lol…I’ll make sure you get yours first Teacia!
preciate’ ya!!!
[***DISCLAIMER: I don’t have those types of friends. All of my female friends are platonic!!!! You read that, baby? Did you? Did you??? (Yes my girlfriend both reads and responds on VSB.com)***]
Panama…this made me smile and clap and shit! (Hercules! Hercules!)…the arsonist has a soft side…(waving to to girlfriend)…but you know, now I wonder which of my VSB sisters is your flame…but I don’t really want to know…just glad to know you all cognicent of her feelings and shit…
as for the post…I don’t ask…I have 3 non-familial men in my life that I love like brothers…Pres, MJ, and Gerard…I didn’t ask, but MJ was so baffled by the fact that I am single that he is always asking me about my single-ness…and doesn’t understand it…so he is always trying to make sense of it…after running off a long list of my dope-ness, losing weight was all he could come up with to improve my “marketability”… I own that… but what else you got?… lol… you can’t tell me I’m not cute as hell…I don’t have a problem meeting men… I take issue with meeting men that can hold my attention… MJ’s premise was that losing weight would make me an option for the kind of man that could genuinely hold my interest… I feel him… but I only partially agree… so since I didn’t ask him… it’s under “advisement”… lol… what does he know? he’s 28 and working on marriage 2.5…whaddufuggevahni99a!
Don’t ask questions you don’t GENUINELY want to know the answers to…EVER!
“Panama…this made me smile and clap and shit! (Hercules! Hercules!)…the arsonist has a soft side…(waving to to girlfriend)…but you know, now I wonder which of my VSB sisters is your flame…but I don’t really want to know…just glad to know you all cognicent of her feelings and shit…”
yeah, and i ain’t tellin’ either. it’s better that way. that way nobody starts lobbing questions at her on some…
“girl what is WRONG with your man? does he really think like this cuz he is shonuff insane!”
P…for the record…I think you are DOPE! I appreciate your irreverent approach to calling bullshit on all thing that require bullshit calling…it’s necessary…so I curtsy to you…and your lady…ROCK ON WIT YO BAD SELF!
well thank you. i shall rock rough and stuff with my afropuffs.
But why does your being single need to be baffling? Unless he’s one of those people who just can’t be single and jumps from one relationship to the next, why should it even be an issue?
I understand the marketability thing on losing weight, but there are plenty of men who are attracted to women w/ extra weight. There are plenty of skinny single women…I mean really…
Any guy giving me unsolicted opinions about my flaws would get his feelings hurt b/c I surely would start pointing out his.
K…he is exactly one of those people…lol…do you know him? ha! truth is…and this may be bad…but, when I think of “fat”, I don’t think of me…I think of women that can’t see their own yummy!! nah mean? but it don’t matter me none…I do me…I take pride in that…
I totally feel you on this one….just last night I was having a convo with one of my boys in which he swore up and down that I must have some secret harem of men because I don’t have one all out in the open. He almost refused to believe I was really single, saying women like me just don’t exist anymore…and I’m sitting here thinking when did beautiful, intelligent, easygoing, liberated women who watch SportsCenter and will fully surprise you with tickets to “Sunday Night Football” (because we all know MNF has fallen off….even though I still watch) go??? I mean I know at least 5 that are available or semi-available right now…and real talk we don’t need numbers, we’ve already got the answers…its my belief that a man either wants you or he doesn’t and actions will tell you everything you don’t really want to ask….but that’s just my two cents, although I could write a book and charge you $24.95 for it…lol!
Kamilah… I would think there would be a line at the door for a woman like that…but my other boy Pres, told me that men don’t really want a woman that’s like a man…they just want her to respect it…lol…again…whaddufuggevahni99a! LOL
Okay, I give…sometimes there is a line at the door, but they are on the outside for a reason…yes there are some platonic relationships, but most…meaning 75%…of my boys given the chance would take the bait. At this point I’m all about character so it takes more to get past the door lately…on the other side I think we all have a general notion of what fabulous is, and it varies for different men, but on the whole if you have heads turning everywhere you go (in a good way…lol) and have a great personality then 9 times out of 10, you’re a winner. But that’s just my 5 cents…$32.95 for the book…inflation.
but then how do you separate the fly singles from the hopeless unwanteds? like i asked earlier, how do you admit to yourself that you are undateable when you think you are just plain fabulous?
good one shay…I don’t know…I mean if you think you’re fabulous and someone tries to tell you otherwise…you won’t believe them…so how do you know? damn…that’s a good kwerstchun…
“whaddufuggevahni99a!”
….now this is a shirt that i want…and just might have to get one made…baby u see this(yes he reads VSB and sometimes even comments)…i want this shirt!!!!
This was an interesting read. lol
It is my assumption that these “ratings” are strictly based on the physical. That means no points for being witty, having a generous spirit or the cute way you scrunch up your face when you are reading. All that…out the window. Most people don’t really want to know (can’t handle) their true ratings. They’d rather stay delusional since there’s not much you can do to change them anyway. lol
Most women want to feel like they are the hottest, sexiest woman on the planet to their man…I am no exception. I realize this is a tad unrealistic but if you can’t feel hot and sexy to the one you are with, what’s the point? Especially if lots of other dudes think you are hot and sexy anyway. Lol In my case, I already think I’m a beautiful woman (I like me as a person.) As long as my man feels I’m beautiful, vocalizes that to me on occasion, and makes me feel/see it in his actions, I’m a happy girl. In fact, I’m pretty sure that men want to feel attractive to their mate as well.
Personally, I would never ask my boyfriend to rate me for real, unless he was rating everyone around me or kept giving me indirect rating feedback. Lol I do however throw out that he thinks I am a 10 every once in a while and laugh at his facial expressions. He tries to ignore me but his face gives him away every time. (Regardless of what his words say, his face speaks the truth. Usually, his face and words match.)
Oh yeah…Aww P! That was really sweet how you wrote that to your girlfriend. If my man said that, I’d call bullsh*t though because everyone knows that men don’t have platonic friends.
you got this shit dam near perfect Jack: “I don’t think most women want to hear the truth, but they also don’t want to hear a lie. Women just like voices.”
some of the women posting openly don’t take kindly to being told they shouldn’t ask OR not be able to know how someone else judges them on a point scale. some women posters here say never ask but in their hearts are very curious to know what others would score them as and why. …and still others [women] would never ask from fear but certainly want to know.
SO i have decided that a CONFESSIONAL TYPE SCORING SERVICE should be provided TO WOMEN that ranks them on PHYSICALLY aesthetics only. the judge or judges would maintain anonimity and the woman would be required to confess (in writing) her own sins (shotcumings)for the therapeutic value. no explanation no point scale, just a rendering. …and of course a dressed up (in clothes and makeup) and stripped down (no makeup, pasties and thongs. ) viewing of the person is required. …and also the second part would include the infamous Yung Berg pool test. (pool/before and after water entry)
$49.99
pay right here.
non physical aesthetics scoring being developed. stay tuned!
some women posters here say never ask but in their hearts are very curious to know what others would score them as and why.
this is me…I wonder…but ignorance is bliss…I would hate your score of me to taint my view of you…so let’s just continue to play nice, shall we?
I love that my VSB play cousins communicate daily and only a few of us know what a few of us look like…it’s good for the imagination…no?
“I would hate your score of me to taint my view of you”
True indeed. And if you’re a hot mess yourself, your opinion is null and void!
“True indeed. And if you’re a hot mess yourself, your opinion is null and void!”
*** Cues Mahalia Jackson in the Heavan All Star Choir to sing “Go Tell It On The Mountain”
i agree goody. anonimity allows people here to speak more freely and openly methinks.
unfortunate for others maybe, but i don’t really much care if they know what i look like subsequently i’m not sure i care what everybody else on vsb looks like. (curious sometimes) i bet the women care to know MORE than the men on vsb.
at the end of the party, women appear to be much more curious, influenced and sensitive about how men score and see them than the reverse.
i guess what i’m saying is that women compared to men are more insecure about their physical looks than men. …and perhaps AS WELL it’s the way that men deal with insecurity that’s so different than women in this area.(where you at Ty) some of it’s socialization and some, in my minds eye, is how innately sensitive and predisposed women are emotionally. thanx to all my guest today. good afternoon.
Ymari the assistant comes out: the doctor is not seeing anymore patients today and will forego any autograph signing or pictures until tomorrows show. please join us tomorrow for another great show.
stay tuned as we pause for station identification. cuming up next, swank swag III lays his game down quite flat on todays episode of “To be Young Gifted and Black”
heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooooo!
“station identification”
You just reminded me of that Channel Live song…lol
“unfortunate for others maybe, but i don’t really much care if they know what i look like subsequently i’m not sure i care what everybody else on vsb looks like. (curious sometimes) i bet the women care to know MORE than the men on vsb. ”
I’d be one of the folks that didn’t care so much…curious at times…but it’s really not that important. Besides, I have a feeling that seeing some folks’ photos would then nullify anything they ever said again, taking away part of my daily enjoyment. Now, who am I to deprive myself of this pleasure?
“Besides, I have a feeling that seeing some folks’ photos would then nullify anything they ever said again, taking away part of my daily enjoyment”
please expound
K…example. The convo over the last few days about ratings and such. If (and I’m not saying anyone did) for example, someone went to talking about I only date 7′s and above, cause I feel I’m at least a 7 myself…but then I saw that person’s pic to go along with that comment, and they CLEARLY weren’t a 7 by any stretch of the imagination…well, their comment is then null and void. I wouldn’t even read the rest of it, good points made or not, because of the pic. Therefore, I prefer to not see photos, and keep the fantasy that the good folks that visit VSB are, of course, all fly. Then I can read comments at my leisure, laugh, concur, whatever, without thinking evil thoughts.
@JBoogie…(raises fist in the air) word…(lowers head in reverance) life…
I am actually going to go out on a limb and disagree with you.
I think that not only do black women prefer the truth, I believe they NEED to know the truth.
Yeah it may hurt, but I think it is the waffling and vagueness (You look good, baby – meanwhile you hate that she wears too much weave and make-up, or you hate that she doesn’t work out anymore, etc.) that has led to a lot of problems. A perfect example of this is the THICK vs FAT post.
I think that many black women are unaware of what is attractive to men and have subscribed to video standards of beauty or alternatley have adopted the thick missus mentality. I believe an honest dialoge between black women and black men is necessary to help the black family heal. Perhaps then black men would stop running to the Becky’s and find HOME.
Tell the truth negro’s. Forget the number system (that’s lame and childish) but speak to faults.
CORTO…you’re right on with this one…however, I don’t think that this is unique to Black people…I mean the “THICK vs FAT post.” (hate I missed that) may be ethnically unique, but the women not knowing what is attractive to men is universal…
you had me until here…
“Perhaps then black men would stop running to the Becky’s and find HOME.”
I just wanted to start some ish… lol
I could see that.
I think that not only do black women prefer the truth, I believe they NEED to know the truth.
I hear what you’re saying, but my question is, what are they going to do with that truth?
People say they want the truth, when nine times out of 10 (*I made these statistics up, but play along with me) the “truth” doesn’t do anything but cause more hurt/confusion.
This is just an example of a situation that I’ve witnessed on numerous occasions and is off subject – Woman wants to hear the “truth” on whether her man is cheating. She knows he’s cheating but needs to hear it from her man. He breaks down and tells her the truth “Hell yeah Im phuckin Bonquisha who lives up the street, now what”. Woman – “Nothing I just wanted to know, you better stop or else she’ll end up getting her ass beat. Now what you want me to fix for dinner?”
Now ol girl knew he was cheating and wanted to hear him say it outloud, but changes nothing and continues to stay with him. Only thing she got was her feelings hurt……
Funny thing is that my sweetie and I were talking about this last night…he’s all like yeah I’m into personality and looks aren’t what attracted me to you…and I’m like huh…you don’t think I’m freaking gorgeous…and he’s like yeah baby but that’s not what did it. And I’m like so you don’t think I’m attractive enough to want to holler at w/o knowing me first…and he’s like you’re tripping I said you were beautiful nah, but I fell in love with your mind…lol(horsesh!t I know).
And then I’m like you know I’m only shallow because of you men…if you guys weren’t constantly paying me compliments I wouldn’t think so highly of myself. And then the discussion veered off into chics having a false sense of hotness(not me of course…lol). He thinks that the men(i.e. platonic friends) who are just trying to get in the drawz are messing it up for other brothas. There are tons of women who walk around like they’re that hotness when they don’t even come close…so if nothing else this reason should be added to the list:
If you tell her she’s an 8 when she’s not just to spare her feelings, you’re inevitably setting her up for failure in the real world where looks actually matter and people aren’t as nice.
If you tell her she’s an 8 when she’s not just to spare her feelings, you’re inevitably setting her up for failure in the real world where looks actually matter and people aren’t as nice.
TEESH! I agree and would venture to submit that this phenomenon also occurs in the “size doesn’t matter” debate…don’t volunteer…but if he asks…and he was wack…it’s your duty as an American woman to let him know so he won’t go spreading that wack-ness around…consider community service or some shit!
i’d like to see it as a public service announcement…lol.
“I don’t think most women want to hear the truth, but they also don’t want to hear a lie. Women just like voices.”
Funniest thing I’ve read in ages. But I cosign this post, man.
thanks hombre. glad i could incite laughter.
“Discussing your rating of any close friends of yours is definitely one of them. File it in with shooting yourself in the left testicle/breasticle as “things you should avoid at all costs.”
LMAO! Too funny. I have never asked any guy to rate me because it would be pointless. My last boyfriend would tell me that I’m a 10 without me asking, but I know he was just saying that. It put a smile on my face and I’m happy with that. If he said that I was anything less then it would have caused a fight.
“We’ve already discussed platonic friends so let’s just run with the idea that men don’t have platonic friends – we just have friends we haven’t slept with…yet.”
I just had this conversation with a woman I know 2 days ago. She refuses to believe that all of her male friends would hit it if given the chance. She is easily an 8 and I was trying to tell her that there is no way that a straight man would be hanging out with her and not ever have the thought of getting nasty cross his mind. The sooner women realize that men do not invest time into things that will never lead to some Split-mo Blippy, unless there are some very specific circumstances. Men who just enjoy your company and like to help you plan your outfits for the week, and don’t want to ever have sex with you…….G…..A……Y.
I disagree. A women can have a male friend who’s not trying to sleep with her. I have male friends who are just my friends. One of my closest friends is a guy who I met my freshman year of college. We’re really close and i consider him like a brother. We share everything and we’ve never tried to hook up.
Leila I have been told by more than one man, just because they don’t try doesn’t mean that are not thinking it. They just respect the friendship enough not to say anything.
They are always thinking…lol
::snicker:: at this whole comment BigBuck
It took me a little while to catch on to this truth. I finally did when pretty much all the guys who befriended me had tried at some point to get the goodies. Some were more successful than others. And yes, if they’ve never tried, it’s not because they haven’t thought about it…the girl just hasn’t given them enough encouragement.
men do not invest time into things that will never lead to some Split-mo Blippy, unless there are some very specific circumstances.
BUCK…you’re right…I have male friends that I know want to “split” my “mo-bippy” (dayum that cracks me up er’time).. some try…some don’t…but they keep me in rotation (and vice versa) because aside from the fact that they want to see my f*ck face, they enjoy my company…and I theirs…that is for my single male homies…the committed and married homies don’t even apply…they use me for insight on “why did she (insert dramatic cry for attention here)?”…and since I don’t typically subscribe to chick logic, I do my best to wade through the madness to give sensical responses…but yeah…even they probably want to feel why my name is GOODENess…but they won’t cross that line, because they know I will drop them as a homie in a heartbeat for disrespect!! it’s possible to have opoosite sex dynamics that don’t openly revolve around sex…but there is (usually) a latent tension…unless you’re related or one of you is ugly or some shit!
**************Women just like voices.************
THE ONLY ANSWER THAT MAKES SENSE TO EVERY WOMAN QUESTION EVER.
That just isnt true. The only reason women ask so many questions, and appear to LIKE VOICES is because the truth is NEVER IN THE FREAKING ANSWERS. So we have to ask yalls asses like 50 times before you scream out the truth.
I think what some women think the truth is and what the truth actually is are two different things. It’s already in your head what you think the truth is and if you dont hear what you think or expect to hear you assume its a lie or just wrong. Then again there are times when women are lied to cause we (men) don’t feel like dealing with the fallout of you hearing the truth and not liking it.
This may be a little off topic, but follow me down the rabbit hole anyway. When I was a waitress at a gentelmen’s club, sometimes us waitresses would get tipped better than the dancers and we’d be praised for our beauty. And while you had to take those compliments w/ a grain of salt (cause men are men), at the same time you couldn’t ignore the truth about some dancers. Bangin’ body,-check. Could make it clap- check. Cute face – Nope. And so I realized that while men don’t mind ass shaking in their face, when ol’ girl turns around they ain’t fools and will recognize what’s cute and what’s not. Oh the dancers would be heated if we got more money/attention than them. They couldn’t stand that we were cuter and we didn’t even have to take our clothes off…
It’s because you all left something to the imagination. With the dancers, it was all out on display, for everyone to see. I’m sure you ladies were dressed sexxy, but with an air of mystery because you weren’t completely nekkid.
or it may be cause the dancers were mud ducks
True dat.
LOL! Yeah that’s pretty much it. I mean someone said it yesterday, you can’t do nothing with ugly. And when I use this scenario, I don’t mean that the men were lewd about it. It was just a matter of fact observation- like x is cute, y is not. Working there I learned what men find attractive, and a pretty/cute/beautiful face (that smiles) goes a lonng way. Some of the “prettier” girls when onstage only had to smile and really show their goodies a good two times. While some others, had to really shake what they mama gave ‘em. So I think it’s better not to ask, not to try to compare, not to wonder how you would rate. Because as we have learned today, it ain’t gon’ be pretty.
I think it’s kinda 1 night stand syndrome if that exhists. For the notch makers black book database havers and stuff. After seeing her all nakey n you know they be up there making sex faces (it’s a sexually charged environment) and if there’s liquor in volved you can forget the idea of any civilized deportment being shown. They get the been there done that attitude n want something new(d) to see.
The Comeback Girl asked “What is hotness?”
I can’t even verbalize it. It just is. Somebody take that for me
I think this is hard to explain. Even when I look at a guy–you can’t pinpoint it.
It’s because it is like a feeling you get. It hits all @ once sometimes in ever increasing waves. I think it is what people call love @ first sight.
Hotness is so different for different people, my best friend and I can look at the same guy and I think he is attractive and cool/suave and she thinks he is a cornball mud-duck… so hence the eyes and beholders and shit cliche, lol…
“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
Sorry just wanted to say that. As you were
I think it is a great idea for a woman to ask a man about her flaws IF and WHEN she can handle it. This is important because sometimes flaws are in the eye of the beholder. It is important to know what he *thinks* your flaws are to know if you two are at least in some alignment. Now the rating system is a bad idea because it is designed for comparing people, performance etc and no one wants to be compared to someone else.
Yeah… but I don’t think women ask this sort of question half as much as men do. Uggh… Ask your female readers how many of them have gotten the “So, am I bigger/better than your ex?” Are you kidding? Where do you get the balls to even ask this? I have ALWAYS been asked stupid shit like this by almost every man I’ve dealt with. And I don’t give the ubiquitous and politically correct, “Not better, not worse, just different” answer. My response is, “You want to know my ex’s dick size and what he’s like in bed? Do you just want his phone number?” That usually shuts them up.
I think the female equivalent of that answer would be complete and total honesty. COMPLETE AND TOTAL… and then say, “You asked.” And shrug your shoulders if she starts crying. A lot of women would be intrigued by the nonchalance… and you still get a chance to hit, even though she’s only a 4.5.
And now I have to go because I am watching Project Runway and Tim Gunn just said, “Holla atcha boy.” Gotta go.
You know I never thought about that @X. Men do ask that question alot and I be like are u serious. I never ask about the woman before us I am like what ended your last relationship.