Underrated Moment In Black History: When Tyra Banks Taught White People How To Moisturize » VSB

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Underrated Moment In Black History: When Tyra Banks Taught White People How To Moisturize

Warner Bros. Television screenshot

 

Black folks as a people have a collective predisposition against ashiness. In concept, this would be something that is not just limited to us, because moisturizing is for the people, just like Wu Tang and hot wings. However, extensive experiences — and by extensive, I mean my anecdotal moisturizing experiences involving White friends, colleagues, and coworkers in my near three decades of life — have simply proven this not to be the case.

You ever gone on an out-of-town trip with folks whose melanin is relatively in absentia and peep them hop out of the shower and put clothes on without even the most cursory look at some Lubriderm? I’m not even talking fancy butters or anything. It’s like the first time I found out as a kid that not everyone eats rice with every meal. Or when you hear a man say “oh I don’t do that” in regards to oral gratification. (Yes these people still exist, because evil presents itself in many fashions.)

If you think about it, the whole anti-aging industry is basically built on White folks’ inattention to a daily lotioning routine in their younger years. Multiple winters of ambivalence about the layer of chalk dust forming on their epidermis in the winter months culminate in being dumbfounded as to why they can’t pass for their daughters in middle age

Enter Tyra Lynne Banks.

Tyra Banks is many things — model, mogul, actress, singer, unrepentant egomaniac, etc — but one of my favorite iterations of her career was her stint as a talk show host. For a glorious five years on what is now the CW network, Tyra regaled us with various iterations of what she considered “social experiments.” There was the time that she went undercover in a fat suit. And the time she went undercover as a homeless person. And the time she went undercover as a man. And the time she went undercover as a stripper named Chanel.

In an ideal world, I have 5000 words to discuss at length all of the most pivotal moments of the now-defunct Tyra show and what they contributed to the culture and best practices of social science research. (I didn’t even mention the time she brought Naomi Campbell to discuss a largely one-sided feud that Naomi clearly didn’t care for anymore.) But we are not in such a world, as far as I last checked Keri Hilton’s Instagram, and therefore I will focus on the Tyra Show’s greatest introduction she ever gave to the dozens of soccer moms willing to go to a studio in Burbank at 10 AM on a Wednesday: a jar of vaseline.

You read that right. Tyra Lynne Banks from Inglewood, California got all these middle-aged White folks hyped for her “super duper, no fail, skin-saving, eye and anything cream!!”… made them open up a bedazzled $3.99 jar of Vaseline..and told them that “their wildest dreams have come true.”

When I originally saw this episode, I thought that Tyra was a lunatic. While the previous statement may still be up for debate, I’ve also come to realize that Tyra is a both a shady genius and a woman of the people. She basically got White women to scream in appreciation at her telling them that they were all ashy as hell and that their problems could be solved with a $3.99 container that she upmarked to $100 for no discernible reason other than she’s Tyra. That my friends, is peak finessing.

Tyra’s contributions to the talk show industry have gone understated long enough! In another life, I would have a talk show where I would find multiple ways to trick White people into doing things that are just basic human decency: season food, not bring pets into restaurants, abandoning the concept of year-round flip flops…

I thank you Tyra for all you have done and hopefully will continue to do. In this wintry prison known as New York, there are many a crusty elbow in need of your gospel.

Shamira Ibrahim

Shamira is a twentysomething New Yorker who likes all things Dipset. You can join her in waxing poetically about chicken, Cam'ron, and gentrification (gotta have some balance) under the influence of varying amounts of brown liquor at her semi-monthly blog, shamspam.tumblr.com

  • Bleep Gilliam

    I still dont understand why mofos white or black don’t moisturize. Especially this time of year! I told my friends that after I shower I not only use Vaseline but also go behind it with shea butter. That looked at me like I was bugging the fcuk out.
    im applying lotion while I’m typing this!

    • Neka W.

      Yes! I put on lotion then seal it in with coconut oil. No games out here.

      • Bleep Gilliam

        No games played out chere! You were raised right!

    • I use Nivea Intensive Moisture and coconut oil. And my shins are STILL white when I get home in the evening and take off my jeans. As much water as I drink, you would think I could stave off the ash by now, but alas.

      • Bleep Gilliam

        Pinks the struggle is too real. But atleast you’re taking the proper measures. Lol

        • I be trying! I find that leggings keep my legs less ashy than jeans, tho. I wonder why that is.

          • Me

            I wonder if the fabric is super absorbent. I mean it is cotton after all. And have you notice how much water they hold in when you do the wash? Maybe they’re sapping your skin’s moisture too. Thirst: It ain’t just for the Gram anymore.

            • Could be – I feel like the leggings are clinging to my skin, thus keeping the moisture in somehow. Another reason I’m about to erase jeans from my wardrobe.

              • Me

                I’m intrigued. How are you planning to do this in the winter? I currently feel like jeans are a necessary evil (mainly for warmth and when doing particularly dirty jobs). What will you wear for allover coverage instead?

                • I’ve been doing it most of this winter pretty well.

                  I have a coat that’s designed for performance, so it’s lined with fleece, all this really warm material, and it comes down to my knees. My legs don’t really get cold, so I just layer up on top, put on my coat and get gone.

                  It really just boils down to me being super lazy. Also, my job has a very relaxed dress code so I can wear leggings and tunics every day of the week without anybody blinking an eye. Except the jeliss white girl who used to work here and reported me because she said my butt was too big to not wear a longer shirt.

          • Kema

            Ok… That’s my new excuse for wearing leggings all the time.

          • Sigma_Since 93

            Friction. I have the same issue when I take off my long john pants.

      • Marc.J.H.

        Pinks, if I lose my job for laughing too loudly, I’m coming for you

      • KNeale

        If someone else said it I’m sorry to repeat.

        Coconut oil is not that absorbant. Coconut oil is good for you because all organic oils are but its not the best out there. Its just popular right now. The absorbency of people’s skin is different. Some is more so than others. My skin is not very absorbant so product sits on top of my skin and doesnt necessarily absorb all the way in and lock in moisture. Coconut oil is not super helpful for folks with that type of skin. Coconut oil gives you shine and does do a help a little bit cuz again oil is good for you but if you want to find an oil that really moisturizes and improves your skin you gotta be strategic. I intentionally use oil that is high in linoleic acid. (The inverse for people who have high absorb and need a lot of product to be moisturized is oils that are high in oleic acid.)

        I just learned all this and switched from coconut oil to sesame seed oil on my face and have noticed a very serious difference in my skin.

        And also its not that one type of skin is good and the other is bad. Its all good, its just your skin type. You just gotta find stuff that works for you.

        • Sesame seed oil? Won’t I smell like a vegetable dumpling?

          I definitely think coconut oil is trendy, but it has its uses. I always combine it with something else if using on my body, cus I don’t like the slick oily feeling without supple skin.

          • KNeale

            Sesame seed oil is not the best smelling but the scent actually doesn’t last long. Maybe I’m just used to it but the scent goes away once its absorbed. I can never smell it. Try it at night for a week or so and see what people who live in your house (if people live in your house) if they can smell it after you’ve rubbed it in. You would only be using a couple drops at the most anyways.

            • Hubby will definitely notice. He’s always sniffing me so I’ll see if it’s too strong. I used to use olive oil in the shower to shave with, but that was too goopy.

  • Me

    Anybody else ever get hit by the drive by lotion caper at work by the ashy wypipo? Normally I’m stingy about my ish, but between the ash and the lunchtime funk, I’ve learned to share lotions (I keep no less than 4 tubes on display for public consumption) and air freshener (I get the jar of oil beads that not only smell nice, but look nice enough to catch the funky folks’ attention just as they’re complimenting how nice my cube smells). Everything that makes sense ain’t always common.

    • Junegirl627

      Plus can someone explain why wypipo think it’s okay to go to the gym during their lunch hour and spend the rest of the day smelling like armpit?

      • miss t-lee

        Girl…

        • Junegirl627

          We e-fam so I knew you’d get it

          • miss t-lee

            I have folks in my office that go running on lunch and just go right back to their desk.

            • PhlyyPhree

              Illl. I work out during lunch, but I also take FULL advantage of our nice as hayle locker rooms. I have shower caps, flip flops, towels, body wash and another jar of shea butter in my locker. And my manager has learned to gon head and add an additional 20 to my lunch hour when I say I’m going to work out. Smh

              • miss t-lee

                We aren’t in a building with gym/shower facilities…lol

            • Quirlygirly

              I used to work with a woman who would go for a run at lunch and then use baby wipes to clean herself. I never smelled her but I didn’t work in her department either

              • miss t-lee

                At least she made some sort of effort…lol

      • Me

        The worst offenders of that are on my team. These fools straight up replaced their office chairs with those damn medicine balls so they can do situps between reports. What the… !?

        • Junegirl627

          OMG me too!!!! I had a co-worker who had one of those exercise ball instead of chairs at their desk, but get this! The stupid B i t c h used to steal other peoples food out of the refrigerator. I caught her steal a WHOLE cheese platter and then right before memorial day weekend the office threw an ice cream break and she stole the rainbow sprinkles.

          Who the heck does that?!!!!!

          • Quirlygirly

            That chick a kleptomaniac. What an odd thing to steal- rainbow sprinkles?

          • fxd8424

            One of the white girls I served with used to steal from the frig. But we broke her out of that habit. Put some Tide in her cream (the powder variety) one day and watched the fallout.

            • Sigma_Since 93

              HA! So wrong yet so right!

      • Or dripping sweat over your desk as they ask to borrow your stapler and then look perplexed when you tell them keep it!!

    • One of the wypipo at the JO put me onto Renew, which is a lotion by Melaleuca. I was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhh snaapppppppppp you got the juice! I love that stuff.

      • Me

        Haven’t heard of it. I might try it once my Aveeno tubes run out.

        • Unfortunately I don’t think it’s sold in stores. You may need to order it online.

          • Me

            Hmm… If that’s the case I might try it even sooner. *Confessions of a recovering online addict.

          • fxd8424

            Funny you should Melaleuca. A co-worker mentioned Melaleuca yesterday, but he uses their vitamins. Seems they sell a host of things, but he said you do have be careful of them sending unauthorized orders and not wanting to cancel it and credit your account.

            • I get mine from my coworker. She’s a member so I just let her know when I want some. She never accepts my payment though, so I always feel guilty but I be moisturized lol

  • Gbadebo

    Coco butta all day errrrrrrrrrr day

  • miss t-lee

    Tyra’s show was just a platform for batsh*t crazy antics.

  • Junegirl627

    Was out with friends washed hands in bathroom & realized I forgot my lotion at home. So I walked up to a random black lady who wasn’t moisturizing and asked if I could borrow some lotion and she said sure opened her bag and poured some for me. My 2520 friends were so confused. (1) they didn’t know why I freaked out about not having lotion (2) Didn’t know how I knew that random black lady had lotion (3) Didn’t understand why I felt so comfortable asking a perfect stranger for lotion (4) Were surprised the the black lady gave me lotion and wasn’t bothered by my asking for lotion (5) Were scandalized that I didn’t have any problems using a strangers lotion.

    I answered their questions like this (i’m paraphrasing) (1)I’m black and I’m wet (2) She’s black (3) we’re black (4) she’s black and has been wet before (5) It’s a black thing ……… jussayin

    • TeeChantel

      I can’t trust you if you don’t have lotion in your bag. I’m sitting at my work desk and I have two bottles of lotion here and another in my purse.

      • Junegirl627

        I keep 2 bottles at my desk too. The vanilla scented one is the one I keep out in the open because you know ash bandits always come jacking my lotion and there’s the one I keep in my desk that’f for me

        • TeeChantel

          I’m going to take a walk around my office and see if all the black folks have bottles of lotion on their desks. I’m sure at least 99.99999 percent of them will.

          • Junegirl627

            I’m sure they do

          • miss t-lee

            My eucerin is posted up right next to my phone.

          • PhlyyPhree

            How bout for Christmas last year, I gave everyone on my team bottles of the bath and body works essentials lotion. How bout AWL the black people have at least used half of their bottles…. No guess as to how much has been applied by the wheat folk

            • Quirlygirly

              That is a good gift to give people. Who can say, nah I don’t need to be moisturized and supple

              • PhlyyPhree

                Apparently, some of these wheat folk.
                Someone was actually like …Oh…this is so….Thick. But thanks.
                Meanwhile, in my head, I was sceaming “YOURE THE ONE THAT NEEDS IT THE MOST!!! Ain’t no such thing as pre-psoriasis. YOU. ARE. ASHY!”

                • Mochasister

                  I don’t know why they don’t realize this. Ashiness is no respecter of person.

              • KNeale

                Lol!! Supple is like my all time favorite word!

                • Quirlygirly

                  Mine too..it conjures up some many great thoughts

            • TeeChantel

              Of course! I love those Bath & Body Works specials. Gotta stock up every year.

              • miss t-lee

                The semi annuals sales? Rackup.

                • TeeChantel

                  Yes.

          • Frankly

            Girl my office has a large community bottle of suave. Sharing is caring.

          • Mochasister

            Two in my purse. One out in the open. Another one stashed away for a rainy day. That or for when we get put on lockdown.

      • fxd8424

        I got a two bottles in my desk drawer (Vaseline Intensive Care and Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom) and one in my purse. I don’t leave home without it.

        • TeeChantel

          I have the Bath & Body Works Endless Weekend and Cool Amazon Rain at my desk… and a small bottle of Suave baby lotion in my purse. I have to keep the ashiness to a minimum.

          • Mine is Warm Vanilla Sugar. When they have those buy 3 get 3 free sales, I stock up and give them to random people whom I know to be ashy consistently.

            • Jennifer

              #RIPCottonBlossom

              • Kris

                Don’t morn. They just renamed it Sea Island Cotton. Same scent. It’s sitting here right next to me at my work desk.

                • Jennifer

                  Say what? When they discontinued it, I stocked up on enough lotions and butters to last me about 2 years. I’ve barely set foot in a B&BW ever since.

                  https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1245ab4537e4cf4513da0b22f2681860ad38f8029f0173239289d9461f73deb8.gif

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    and this is why I have no shelf space in my house! lol

                    • Jennifer

                      Build more shelves, bruh!

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      She would take those too! lol

                    • Jennifer

                      Exactly.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      My house will not look like an episode of hoarders with bottles of BBW hidden in every corner something can be stuffed in! lol Semi Annual Sale be damned!

                    • If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were married to my mom. She has candles, sanitizers, soaps, lotions alladat – in like every corner of the crib. I go shopping at her spot.

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      Mrs. SS93 has gotten a lot better. As the bougie beauty product increase in price, I’ve been able to reclaim more space on the dresser. Her new spot is LUSH.

                    • I’ve never heard of them. $35 for a jar of lotion, doe? They can miss me with alladat lol

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      they gettin you for the vegan, no testing on animals mess. I go once a month and get samples. #winning

                    • I really couldn’t care less about stuff being tested on animals so I’m good with the store brands. PETA hates me.

                    • Mochasister

                      Awww, come on. Haven’t you ever that song about blessing the beasts and children?!

                    • I haven’t! I mean I don’t think they should be tortured or anything, but I don’t have a bleeding heart for animals.

                    • Mochasister

                      Just teasing! I love animals but I do think some people carry it too far. Some people care more about animals than they do their fellow man (human?).

                    • Junegirl627

                      B&BW doesn’t test on animals either

                    • Lush has great products.

                    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                      Cosign. If ya got the dough, go in.

                    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                      They have this lotion named African Paradise that is on some next level. Your skin drinks it. OIls and moisturizers from plants and fruit indigenous to Africa. It’s a grip, but I hoard a vat for a couple of months.

                    • L8Comer

                      That’s my. I have backups for years in my closet drawers of hair products, lotion, chapstick, lipsticks, razors, shaving cream toilet paper, paper towels, tooth paste, dental floss… etc. Shelves full of the stuff. It’s a compulsion. I keep buying more. It’s been really useful in the months when I’m broke though lol

                    • Jennifer

                      Storage unit in the backyard?

                    • Sigma_Since 93

                      Only if she’s paying for it! The fact that snakes hang out in our shed will forever keep our current shed from being a viable option.

                    • Jennifer

                      Tell wifey that I tried. I’m straight outta options.

                    • Junegirl627

                      Shhhhiiiiii I bought a shelving system just for my bath and bodywork addiction and I dgaf

                    • Mochasister

                      Lol! In your wife’s defense we just have so much lady stuff!

                    • SororSalsa

                      I have a B&BW store in my linen closet. When they have their semi-annual sale, I scour the internet for coupons and keep myself in body wash and moisture. Ash is a scourge that must be destroyed.

                • TeeChantel

                  Got a small bottle in my purse. Great scent.

              • miss t-lee

                I wasn’t a fan of cotton blossom, but they’re real good for discontinuing stuff I love.

                • TeeChantel

                  Same here. The Aruba Coconut was amazing and they discontinued it the following summer.

                  • miss t-lee

                    I loved the White Tea and Ginger, and a few others that took away :(

                  • miss t-lee

                    Also dark kiss, which they’ve relegated to online only.

                  • LyricMeThis

                    It seriously hurt my feelings when they did this.

                    • TeeChantel

                      Me too.

                • AshAlly08

                  There would be a riot if they ever discontinued the Japanese Cherry Blossom,

                  • miss t-lee

                    Indeed. That’s a fave of almost everyone I know…lol

                  • fxd8424

                    And I’d be right on the front lines.

                  • Mochasister

                    Yeah, they bet not even think about it. Some folks would be getting cut.

              • AshAlly08

                They had a cotton and lemonade one over the summer that came close to replacing cotton blossom in my heart.

            • That’s been my staple for years, along with the Vanilla Bean Noel at Christmas! I used to use Sweet Pea, but developed an allergy to the flowery scent :(

          • Junegirl627

            Maaaaannnnn listen I order sheer freesia by the case it goes perfect with all my perfumes

        • Tambra

          Those can only work on my hands. If I do not use Palmer’s cocoa butter on my feet, within half an hour of me showering, lets just you can blinded by its “whiteness”…*hangs head in shame*

          • We’re on the same team. I have to use Palmers on my feet and legs. My skin eat up the scented lotions.

          • KNeale

            I’m currently in the tropical region of the US south but previously when I was in a place with winters, if I didn’t apply lotion within ten minutes of stepping out the shower I would be shredding my socks like a cat with toilet tissue.

            • Mochasister

              I like to mix A & D ointment with vitamin E cream.

        • [Insert Creative Name Here]

          I got the cherry blossom in my purse. We go together.

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          Ha. I already know just about everything crucial there is to know about fxd8424 just based on her lotion choices!

          • fxd8424

            My life is an open book. LOL!

        • OMG! I have a bottle of B&BW Japanese Cherry Blossom in my work desk too! If I hadn’t left work already I’d snap a pic! I also have a small bottle of J’adore lotion in my handbag and tubes of various lotions in other handbags, so no matter which bag I switch to, I’m prepared!

          • fxd8424

            A girl gotta stay prepared. I love Japanese Cherry Blossom.

      • she

        my coworkers stay using my lotion too like bring your own!

      • KNeale

        I keep one in my work bag but not in my purse which is dumb cuz there are times when i need it (like everytime I wash my hands) but I just don’t think to buy a little purse approrpiate size bottle cuz someone always got lotion when I need it. Lol. the community always comes through!

      • Janelle Doe

        Lotion, or Vaseline and henceforth hot sauce ?

        • Junegirl627

          Swag!!!!

      • Mochasister

        Why did I just buy some lotion for work?! I have some in my classroom and some in our bathroom at work. My students see me putting lotion on all the time.

      • lissa_the_cocoa

        Word. I got a tube in every purse and three bottles at work. I thought I only had two, but I found a third bottle I had forgotten about on Friday.

    • Sigma_Since 93

      The black head nod in full effect. No real explaining needed.

    • Charlyn Lenore

      I love this comment so much. I carry Nivea in almost every purse. Small bottle or large. Had to tell my line sisters I’d be charging 50 cents a use if they didn’t start carrying their own.

      • I love the portable nivea creme that comes in a circular jar.

        • Charlyn Lenore

          I want to try that but I have a thing about fingers in my body products. I stay on the bottle side.

          • Even just your own fingers? lol

            • Charlyn Lenore

              Mine are fine but I don’t know where other people’s hands have been so I don’t buy many products in jars. Evenoamong US everyone ain’t as diligent with the hand washing. I’ve seen it. So I use bottles not jars.

          • What? Lol

          • KNeale

            Yes!!! I use rose balmy thing for multi use (the one brand thats super old and comes in tin jars). I once upon a time thought Id carry that around only to be asked by folks to use some.
            Had to throw one away. I’m not using anything that anyone else has dipped their fingers in. I’ll use my own stuff cuz I know where my fingers were. Never again. I keep the balm at my house and bottles of other stuff in my bags.

        • JennyJazzhands

          Me too! I pop 3 of those joints in my basket every time I’m in target.

          • Target is the dang devil. Pure evil.

            I went to pick up baby wipes and left with a $259 bill. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate that place.

            • JennyJazzhands

              I love it! I got the cartwheel app and left out of there with a basket full of groceries and a winter coat for 25 bucks.

              • I’m late – I need to find out about this cartwheel bidness

                • JennyJazzhands

                  It is definitely the business. I’m waiting for another TV coupon to come up so I can get a new TV for the living room. Last time they had 30% of TVs I didn’t have my coins together.

                  • Downloading it as we speak. Thanks boo!

                    • JennyJazzhands

                      No problem. :)

        • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

          Church.

      • Dee2002

        Coco butter lotion is the lotion of choice for me. I live in the UK and for some reason some black people feel the need to show white appreciation by not putting on lotion. How?!

        • Lmaooo @ white appreciation.

    • BJenks

      Haha, you know I’ve never really given much thought to it. I’ve just always known that if I was out and in need of some lotion that any black woman would have some. I never even considered that some folk would think it crazy for asking.

    • fxd8424

      2520s don’t be knowin’ how we do. I’ve had random BW ask if I had lotion and I didn’t think twice about giving it up. Another thing that baffles them is we speak, give a nod to or smile at random BP we don’t know. I’ve been asked, “Did you know him/her?” Ummm . . .no. “But you spoke to him/her . . . .why? Cause we black. Nuff said.

      • Mochasister

        Fellow Blacks know how it is (well, some of us do). We’ve been paying that Black tax all day too and sometimes it’s just nice to see a friendly Black smile.

    • Mochasister

      I’ve done this before too. I know 9 times out of 10 that fellow Black woman is going to have lotion. I’ve also had other Black woman ask to borrow my lotion. I can’t STAND being ashy! I like to bring out the pretty brown that is me.

    • Jasmine

      There is a special state of embarrassment when you do things with other people and your hands are cracked and white. Going to the nail salon is one of them. I made the crucial mistake of doing dishes and running out of the house without first grabbing a few dollups of lotion. The face that woman made at me is a constant reminder of why i keep lotion in the car, in each bag, by every sink in my house, and in every travel bag i own.

    • Tricia Romano

      White lady here just spit out her coffee laughing out loud!

      • Junegirl627

        glad to hear it

    • Robbinesque

      And the question “What is Blackness?” has officially been answered. The answer? ALWAYS having lotion on hand!

  • My favorite Tyra moment was when she brought in a doctor to prove her breasts were real. It wasn’t because I cared but because I had a friend and another friend’s dad get in a week long feud over whether they were fake or not. It was a full fledged shouting match. I just hoped they watched that episode together.

  • Courtney Wheeler

    Being that I’m in my 30’s… my girlfriends..hell all my white girlfriends are obsessed with moisturizing their necks. I didn’t even know that was required.

    • miss t-lee

      Yes.
      I have actual neck cream.

  • “Or when you hear a man say “oh I don’t do that” in regards to oral gratification.”
    What dudes over 22 say this in 2016? My 18 year old claims he’s a beast, lol

    • miss t-lee

      You’d be surprised. Heard it from a full grown 40 year old last year.

      • TeeChantel

        Did you show him the door?

        • miss t-lee

          He was a one and done.

          • TeeChantel

            *Denzel voice* My n igga

            • miss t-lee

              Ain’t got time for foolishness.

              • TeeChantel

                Noneatall.

                • miss t-lee

                  We grown pimpin…lol

              • Real talk

                • miss t-lee

                  Nann.

      • Lol @how daheck did that come up?!

        • miss t-lee

          Gotta ask the right questions.

      • Quirlygirly

        If they dont want to do it – ok whatever- but don’t expect none either- If you don’t give none you can expect none.

        • miss t-lee

          Won’t be anything…lol

          • Kema

            Exactly! I don’t get intimate with evil.

            • miss t-lee

              I’m too old not to be getting what I want/need mayne.

      • smmfh. I can’t imagine NOT doing it

    • Shiiiid we all thought we were a beast at 18. Then we hit thirty and reflect on how terrible we probably were.

      • fxd8424

        Cause no one ever told you the truth.

      • I wouldn’t say I was a beast, but I didn’t suck. I had enough tricks to get by until I learned the rest. I was like that ball player that gets by dunking on cats before he learns a jump shot.

        • I won’t front. I was turible.

          • My early bed game was like Amare Stoudemire circa 2005, young, athletic, full of energy and like 4 moves. LOL

            • I was listening to waaay too much 2Live crew. Those poor girls. Luckily there wasn’t enough of them to get a bad rep going.

    • TeeChantel

      “Or when you hear a man say “oh I don’t do that” in regards to oral gratification.”

      And those same dudes expect to receive all the head in the world. #Heathens

      • Cant relate. I lowkey .01% look forward to giving more than receiving… #shrugs

        • Jennifer

          • PhlyyPhree

            Shoot your shot girl. Don’t be scared.

            • Jennifer

              I mean, he’s up in here humble bragging and sh*t.

              • TeeChantel

                You might as well. He left it wide open.

        • Brass Tacks

          I thought that was just me… I prefer giving, also. I think my obvious enjoyment, makes it that much easier for the companion to feel comfortable with me.

          • Enthusiasm and effort go a long way, lol

      • He might as well say he has the monster.

      • God Shammgod

        Chile.

        Funny thing is I’m not super keen on it…I’m more of a “let’s get to the stickin'” kinda gal…but the kind of dude that refuses to engage in activity thats dedicated to your pleasure is also the guy that doesn’t provide you with a damp towel afterwards and thats not the kind of love i desrve.

        • TeeChantel

          I don’t and won’t deal with those kind of dudes.

    • fxd8424

      You’d be surprised.

    • oh sh i t. 18 year old nephew. #correction

      • Me

        I read that and was like, wow, what a really open father son relationship at such a young age. LOL

        • L8Comer

          I was thinking he looks really young to have an 18 y.o. … but black.

        • LOL! Nah, that would be me and my dad, though.

  • TeeChantel

    I don’t know how folks can get away without putting on lotion everyday.

    • miss t-lee

      I don’t either. My sensitive azz skin would have me broke out real quick.

      • TeeChantel

        The worst feeling is having dry skin in the winter. Its like rug burn.

        • When I realize I’ve left the house without Carmex…

          • Sigma_Since 93

            It’s a terrible feeling.

            • TeeChantel

              I’ll turn around and go home. No matter where I am. Dry, ashy lips is not cool.

              • Sigma_Since 93

                I keep one on my person, one in my laptop bag, and one in my desk. Carmex is only 99 cents so stock up.

                • Me

                  Real talk, everybody should have an emergency toiletry bag at the office, in the car, and in your suitcase at all times. You should never get caught without the ability to moisturize, deodorize, or sanitize vital parts of your body. So I keep Carmex, lotion, deodorant, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, tweezers, and baby wipes EVERYWHERE. I shop the travel size section as often as I shop the regular aisles.

                  • Sigma_Since 93

                    I cosign this. I have deodorant, a brush, sewing kit, nail clippers, a toothbrush and toothpaste. I can’t be facilitating the afternoon meeting after eating Greek salad dressing and having you make the gas face behind my back.

                • I use the EOS balls. Carmex gives me a film on the lips that I dont like

                  • Quirlygirly

                    Me too! That is why I stopped using Carmex. I brought a 5 pack of EOS eggs/balls at Costco and my lips are moisturized and lightly flavored

                    • My kid has EOS balls in his bookbag, lunch box, coat pocket, everywhere! I was so vexed last year he took his class picture with his lips looking like he was eating powdered donuts. I wanted to write on the back of all his pictures like “I didn’t send him to school like this. My boy wasn’t ashy when he left home!”

                  • I use the tiny little tub of Vaseline for lips.

                    • LMNOP

                      I have had a really unlucky winter and lost at least 6 lip balms, so I started using vaseline out of desperation and despair and was pleasantly surprised how well it works.

                    • I was too. I really like how it coats my lips.

          • miss t-lee

            This is why I have multiple tubes of lypsyl.

            • Jennifer

              Listen – I keep EOS in my purse, in at my desk, in my gym bag, in my car, and I got vaseline at the house. I’m good.

              • Quirlygirly

                Stay Moisturized, My Friend! LOL

              • miss t-lee

                Always ready.

        • miss t-lee

          I have to use twice the amount of everything in the winter. So…terrible.

        • PhlyyPhree

          I. Hate. This. If I shower at night and go to bed without applying enough moisturizer, I will literally wake up out of my sleep and hit the shea butter.

    • PaddyfotePrincess

      It’s quite baffling. Folks can’t spend an extra five minutes to fend off that ashy, scaly, flaky foolishness?

      • Sigma_Since 93

        They think we can’t see the flakes due to the lack of melanin

        • PaddyfotePrincess

          Lol. It’s such a simple fix. I think there’s a spray and go lotion. There’s no reason to be out here looking a scruffy mess.

    • My problem is that my skin eats lotion. If I put on the wrong lotion and catch me at 2 pm, it’s a bad look for the kid.

      • Quirlygirly

        Sounds like you may need a little more than lotion- maybe lard- j/k- cocoa butter or coconut oil

        • TeeChantel

          Lard though? Lol.

          • Quirlygirly

            Just a little jokey joke- my mom used to tease my sisters and I by saying that when we were extra ashy!

        • Coconut oil seems to help. It particularly stands up to the constant handwashing I do for my job.

          • Try Nivea Intense Moisture. That works wonders.

          • Quirlygirly

            That is what I use. It keeps me looking like a chocolate bar.

          • Tambra

            Coconut oil… the new wonder oil…something which us West Indians have been using since birth. I do not think there is a new born Caribbean baby that has not been slathered with coconut oil, often home made, for the first few years of life.

            • I would have if my American mother didn’t actively despise her Bajan mother in law. LOL Like Hatfield and McCoy’s hate.

              • Tambra

                Yikes…Poor baby..You were caught in the crossfire?

                • No, because my grandmother died young. Still, my brother somewhat resembles her, and I’ve literally seen her stop and sneer at his photo just because he looks like her.

                  • Tambra

                    Lol, now that’s really funny and some deep level of hate.

              • Bajans carry a grudge to the grave. Sounds like you need Cetaphil; or a diy solution that involves beeswax and oils.

                • Tambra

                  Lol, experience or you are a bajan?

            • My auntie picks the coconuts right from the tree and makes her own oil to send for us once a year. Something about that Equator sunshine that makes it so much better than what we can get commercially.

      • miss t-lee

        Stop using suave.

        • PaddyfotePrincess

          That’s it. I’m gonna go home now.

          • miss t-lee

            HEE HEE

        • You wrong. LOL

          • miss t-lee

            I knew it!

            • I’ve never got their lotion. Their body wash and shampoo told me enough. LOL

              • miss t-lee

                You were smart.
                On the real, try the eucerin, curel, or gold bond. Might work for you.

                • Tried all three to mixed results. CeraVe is OK, but if I use it any temp above 60, I tend to get acne.

                  • miss t-lee

                    Hmmm. You could also just go with whipped shea.

                    • Me

                      Whipped shea will have you moisturized all week. First time I tried it, it took 3 showers to wash off. Use SPARINGLY! (unless the ash is strong witcha)

                    • miss t-lee

                      Indeed. A little goes a loooooooong way.

                    • *remembers he works close to Hotep street vendors and heads outside*

        • Cleojonz

          You just made me lose it lol! At work giggling and sniggling out loud.

          • miss t-lee

            My bad.
            :)

        • Lmaooo! Sauve is like water.

          • miss t-lee

            You’d probably be better off just using water…lol

      • TeeChantel

        What kind of lotion do you use?

        • Right now I’m on the coconut oil movement. Before, I was using the extra strength Aveeno. It worked well with my hands, but not in the core area.

          • TeeChantel

            Pinks and Tee’s suggestions might work best for you. Aveeno is a little on the thin side. Also, you may want to try Vaseline Intensive Care with Cocoa Butter. The lotion has small Vaseline beads in there well. It is my favorite go to lotion in the winter.

            • miss t-lee

              That Vaseline with the Cocoa drops is good stuff.

              • TeeChantel

                Love it. I just can’t use it on my face. It is too thick and it caused me to break out in some serious acne last year.

                • miss t-lee

                  oh no. I can’t do lotion on my face…no matter what it is.

                  • Me

                    This used to be me. I started using a pure coconut oil/jojoba oil mix that I make myself b/c my face is very dry but also very reactive to products. Whatever’s in those lotion potions were not meant for my face, but my body loves them.

                    • miss t-lee

                      I do jojoba or black castor on my face. Even that is sparingly.

                    • Me

                      Haven’t tried castor. I used to tell folks I just need something slightly stronger than water for my face. The oils are the closest I get and my face is doing well ever since.

                    • miss t-lee

                      yeah, i’ll spread a thin layer, and then cover it with a hot washcloth. Voila!

                    • miss t-lee

                      Niiiice!

                    • Quirlygirly

                      I didn’t think to try black castor. I may have to put that in my regimen

                    • miss t-lee

                      It’s good if you have combination skin. I use it for the dry parts of my face.

                    • TeeChantel

                      I have oily skin and I need to use something. A friend suggested vitamin E oil but I hate using an oil on my face. Right now, I use a light shea butter and it works pretty well.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Yeah if you have oily skin, that might not be the move.

                    • AlwaysCC

                      i have oily skin, too. a common misconception is that oily skin doesn’t need lotion but it does! if your face is dry, the oil glands will overproduce to compensate. i use almond oil or oil of olay (or a combo of both) to keep my face moisturized and the oil controlled.

                    • TeeChantel

                      Indeed it does!

                    • miss t-lee

                      Go for it. A little goes on forever.

                    • Have you tried vitamin E oil?

                    • miss t-lee

                      I have, not on my face though.

                    • I mix it with my face moisturizing lotion. It’s good for the collagen in your skin.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Hmmm. OK! Might have to try it.

                    • Ille Jay

                      Cetaphil works well on my face…nothing else would or does.

                    • Me

                      Cetaphil is a close second. Same for their facewash. I’ll use it in a pinch.

                  • Quirlygirly

                    Nope- I would break out within the hour! I use a light hypoallergenic cream on my face.

                    • miss t-lee

                      Break out? Hellz yeah.
                      Definitely has to something super light if its a cream.

                  • PhlyyPhree

                    Yea, I never lotion my face. The MOST I’ll do is a light layer of EVOO every now and then, but really not that often. The facial skin gods have blessed me and they don’t require much sacrifice.. well, except for these dam ned freckles every fucking where. But that’s my cross to bear for never getting serious acne

                    • miss t-lee

                      Girl…eczema patches, and reverse freckles. A mess.
                      I never had serious acne either, so I’ll take it.

                • God Shammgod

                  I use nivea face cream. Not too expensive and it is fantastic.

                  • TeeChantel

                    I’ll have to try that. Thanks!

          • Palmer’s coco butter lotion works very well.

    • Tambra

      As long is it’s not Razac, if that’s the only lotion to be used, I will forgive the ash. Thinking about that “lotion” is giving me a headache.

      • Cleojonz

        Oh the smell of that stuff. TERRIBLE!

  • AnswerMe

    I get so hot in the summer that I only apply it to my elbows and feet unless I just shaved, then my legs get it too. In the winter it goes on everything.

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