Guest Blogger, Lists

Under The Radar Significant Contributors To Black History

bhmBetween the 1st and the 28th of February, Black History is having the best month ever. We just heard a few days ago that DMX is going to fight George Zimmerman #justcuz on Pay-Per-View or something which…you know what? Let me go ahead and say this. What if DMX loses? Zimmerman will basically be 3-0 against Black people. He killed Trayvon Martin, beat the system in Florida, AND knocked out DMX, something the legal system can’t seem to accomplish. Point is, if I’m DMX, I’m really rethinking this idea.

Moving on and back to Black History Month. During this month we of course get all of the necessary tributes and odes to giants past. But there are some folks who have made some fairly significant contributions to Black History, but under the radar. To discuss these contributions, I’ve enlisted the help of the VSB superstar, The Articulist, Shamira aka Sham-Diddy (clap for her) to help give some nouns their proper place in history.

I’ll start it out. I’d like to nominate Cam’ron. Why Cam’ron? Well, he’s possibly had a direct influence in one of THE most important aspects of Black History. You see, Cam renaissanced Harlem. Before Cam’ron and DipSet came thru and painted Harlem pink, Harlem had lost a bit of its cultural caché. I mean, it was still Harlem but it wasn’t what it used to be. Enter DipSet and Harlem once again rises and becomes relevant for years. I mean, DipSet took over America. And therefore Harlem World’s prominence was restored. And anybody who knows anythign will tell you that Harlem is a central figure to Black History. Sham-wow, What do you think? And yes, I just called you Sham-wow.

Shamira: *cringes at Sham-wow*  But hey…the Articulist, huh? I rather like that. Gotta save that name for when I finally release my mixtape on DatPiff.com. Don’t worry Peej, I’ll give you co-writing credits.

We all know of my absolute stannery for Cam’ron. If you don’t get it, well…you MAAAAD, dawgie. Cameron Giles irrefutably influenced music, cinema, AND the news industry. And you know who else did?

William Ray Norwood, Jr. That’s right, Ray J the GAWD.

Oh, Ray, how do I love thee? Let me list the ways. Not only did he give us the seminal piece of entertainment known as “For the Love of Ray J”(Never Forget:”Danger, She Smashed The Homie”), and the ultimate Bitter Brian anthem known as “I Hit It First”…he provided what might be the best radio interview of the 21st century.  Under presumably the finest of state-altering drugs known to man , he was Ray Charles to the FCC and proceeded to inform the public of all the ways he was better than us.  And I have to say…he was right. I mean, I indeed do not have seven Rolls Royces outside. Nor do I have indoor/outdoor pools, and corresponding basketball courts. And MOST IMPORTANTLY….I do not have ride or die goons that are willing to defend my right to play piano in Floyd Mayweather’s living room (although if we were all being real with ourselves…One Wish goes, man. When’s the last time y’all listened to it?).

Basically, Ray J is all of the most ratchet parts of black twitter combined. He’s like Captain Planet if the five elements were Subtweets, Absurd Stories, B!tchmade Behavior, Delusions of Grandeur, and Wayyyyy too much free time on his hands. Brandy’s brother is tired of being humble, and we should all thank him for that.

P: Grand choice. Just grand. I’m an avowed Ray J fan. I own most of his albums (okay, I downloaded them on my Spotify Premium account, they’re on the same playlist with Jagged Edge) and listen to them after I read my leatherbound books in my mahogany scented apartment. It’s not quite as big as Ray J’s pool, but hey, we can only aspire.

One can’t bring up Ray J and his contributions without bringing up his one time Co-D, Lil Kim. Which brings up an important point. There are contributions, but then there are Black woman contributions which often go unnoticed, even when heaping ceremony upon our people. Michael Jackson did it first followed by Sammy Sosa (“these b*tches love Sosa” – Chief Keef), but Lil Kim took up the mantle for Black women by being the first Black woman to take Black Sheep’s seminal song “The Choice Is Yours” (the remix of course) to heart and go from this (Black woman, “Crush On You” blue/green wig video hot) to that (racially ambiguous, Canal Street Face/Off knockoff hood chick who put her camel toe on blast). While Lil Kim will never get the accolades she deserves as a rapper and for inspiring this generations misguided young women, she did become the first Black woman to Go MJ In De Face and that says something. Michael Jackson was an icon. So what’s her contribution you ask? She in the Black face arts. And a cautionary tale for kids everywhere.

S: Black face arts, though??? I wish I knew how to quit you.

Well, if we’re going to bring up black women presenting cautionary tales, we’ve gotta thank none other than Yandy Smith for showing us the other side of that ride or die life. For too long, the men of America have been able to champion Tameeka “Tiny” Cottle as proof of the rewards you reap when you hold your trappin’ man down. Yeah, you might have a few outside kids who’s ages in the timeline of your allegedly monogamous relationship make you question everything you know about how conception works, but hey, its the 21st century. Break babies are de rigeur!!! You give that man a firm…er…”handshake” while visiting him in the clink, and he’ll reward you with everything your heart desires. You might even get a TV show out of it that positions you as the modern-day Cosbys, cable-knit sweaters and all!

OR….you can be in your Bronx studio with two kids, only one of whom is actually yours, wondering how your fairytale went wrong. You may end up believing that your fiance who thought he was Big Meech, Larry Hoover, whipping work, hallelujah has gotten shafted…because after all “there are still murderers out in these streets.” You may convince yourself that after a year in federal prison, they are still working on getting him out on bail. You may even find yourself going to K. Michelle for advice on how to raise a man! (Spoiler alert: her answer? You can’t)

And you may even find yourself uttering these words with sincerity: “I mean he’s in jail, what else does he have to do but think about me all day?”

Yandy Smith reminds all of us that while your degrees may not keep you warm at night…your dope boy probably won’t either. More importantly, she taught us that if your man’s name ends with an S, pronouncing it is optional. Or maybe you only pronounce the S when you’re mad? The jury’s still out on that.

P: You know, I have no idea if you pronounce the “s” on the end of Mendeecees either. Maybe its like the “p” in Ptolemy, pneumonia, or pbreakfast. I think the most important contribution that Yandy and Mendeecees have made is this: we live in a world where a ninja named Yandy and a ninja named Mendeecees, met, fell in love, and procreated. In terms of Black name scrabble board, they motherf*cking WON at life.

I’d like to toss in Dwayne Cleophus Wayne (Brooklyn, NY/Hillman College) for his contribution to the Come Up. My man showed up to college as a nerdy doofus on some Can’t Get Right from Life steez. I mean, he weng from Walter Oaks questioning if his mother liked him to having the baddest chick in the game wearing his chain. He pulled Whitley, Freddie wanted him (my big haired muse), and even Denise Huxtable considered it even for a second. If anything, he’s the wavy lightskint girl whisperer which is a contribution all to its own. He went up in Byron’s wedding and said, “don’t be mad. Your b*tch chose me. So we can handle this like some gentlemen or get into some gangsta sh*t.” I may have the lines a bit wrong on that one. Point is, Dwayne Cleophus Wayne doesn’t get enough credit for his contribution to Black Cool. His guidance is the truth, the light, and the way towards realizing your full potential and pulling a bad ass light skint chick. Konishiwa, b*tches.

S: Dwayne Wayne did prove that Nice Guys (TM) can indeed win, internet proclamations be damned. He ruined poor Byron’s life though. Dude went on to marry Olivia Pope’s mom and became the evilest evil to ever evil. (YOU. ARE. A. BOY.)

I just realized that we’ve offered all these women without shouting out the realest chick that ever did it. That’s right…Remy Ma.

For those of y’all who are not acquainted with Remy Ma. Lemme learn you a lil bit. She is the leading lady of Terror Squad. A mentee of Big Pun. She’s the chick in the Ante Up Remix that makes you wanna fight everybody. She taught me that my life is not complete until I am able to utter the words “who’s that peeking in my window/nobody cuz I live in a penthouse, baby.”

She has also been in jail since 2007. Now I know what you’re thinking. Another cautionary tale, Shamira? Au contraire, mon frere. She’s a teacher. What’s that lesson, you ask? Money and friends don’t mix.

You know how the story goes: you shy against lending your friend a few Gs, they avail themselves to it anyway, promise to pay you back with their next paycheck, and then they’re waiting for their tax refund…next thing you know you’re in front of a bar at 4 AM mad as hell. What’s a girl to do? Well, probably not shoot the girl in the stomach…allegedly….and rifle through her purse for your money while she’s laying there wounded…but that’s besides the point here guys. Remy Ma knew how money alters friendships and so she just had to explain it to the girl. Forcibly? Perhaps. But I bet the girl won’t forget it.

By the way, we have so many “Free (Insert person who absolutely did the crap he was arrested for but we like him so it shouldn’t count here)” Movements…Boosie, Max B, why not Remy? Patriarchy, I tell you!! I mean, she has two Source awards. TWO. I would argue that “There’s Something About Remy” stirs something in the little hoodrat inside all of us. I should start said line, and y’all should Support Black Businesses, because it’s February. I mean, if Mama Jones can do it, why can’t I?

*Toe wops all the way to the T-Shirt printing store on 125th St*

That’s what we have. Who do you have that made a significant contribution but flies under the radar? And why?

Happy Black History Month.

(Also, if you are offended and feel that we’re trivializing Black history month…bye Felicia.)

-VSB P and Shamira

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is a co-founder of VSB and co-author of Your Degrees Won't Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • JayIzUrGod

    This sh it right here is 30 Shades of Ridiculous. I love it.

    I stand by my creation of the nickname Sham-Wow. You will not shun it woman, YOU WILL NOT SHUN IT.

    I’d like to nominate Shorty Lo into the the Hall of Fame for Black History month. 10 baby mamas. Say it with me now. 10. That’s a lot of sticking and moving, and that’s only related to the child support. Then you convince a sub-tere cable channel to film you congregating all your baby mamas together and pretending to all get along. Then you proceed to create a product with the most ratchet premise that God himself could create on a lazy day, to the point that it actually scared real people with real polygamy-esque family issues into agreeing with the prudes of the world that YOU SHOULD NOT GET YOUR SHINE. Big Love aint never had problems like this.

    That’s major league balling treated by major league shade. And I think that is Black History itself.

    • Sahel

      Ten baby mamas,big love right there

      • JayIzUrGod

        Without the talks of murder and such.n Plenty of extortion though.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      I have to concur with your addition of Shawty Lo. That he convinced all of his baby mamas to get together for one show without any on-camera violence is a perverse form of achievement.

      • JayIzUrGod

        Genius is only granted to a chosen few.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        Shawty Lo could coach the Knicks he’s shown exemplary skill at managing egos

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        He said the one thing they all wanted to hear: They were going to be famous!

      • panamajackson

        I always thought that show got a bad rap. Like, I know folsk were up set cuz 1) shawty lo and 2) baby mamas, but i mean those two things are facts. The rest was them coming together to create a home for their children(s) in a comfortable, safe, and happy fashion. That wasn’t nothing but God and goodness.

        • JayIzUrGod

          If he wasn’t Black, it would have been on Season 4 right now.

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      I’m riding with sham wow too…mainly because my little sister name is Shamira and makes flattering sound awkward

      • JayIzUrGod

        I have no idea why i said it one day, it just came out. Plus, she has a shiny personality in person, lightens up the mood very easily, so the name makes sense to me.

      • Shamira

        Your sis must be an awesome chick :-)

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      He sired his first child when he was seventeen- seventeen, man!!!

      • JayIzUrGod

        That’s older than i expected, i was thinking 14

      • panamajackson

        I’m trying to figure out why the emphasis. That doesn’t even sound remotely crazy to me.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          Even as a Southerner, having a child that young is a bit much to me.

          • Sahel

            Oh,you come from the same state as Camille

            • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

              I’m from Alabama- Auburn to be exact (WAR EAGLE!!!!!)

  • Val

    Martin “Lutha” King Jr. says; Ma’phuckin’ Negroes always gots jokes.

    http://thejosevilson.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/MartinLutherKingJr2.jpg

    • Sahel

      Val should do a guest post. And bring in O to do a valentine’s guest post just for the heck of it

      • IcePrincess

        Bwahahahaaaaa

      • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

        And after all of you are targeted by the NSA and are arrested due to pressure from civil rights groups and Black Twitter, I ain’t sayin’ NOTHING.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        I suggest the guest post should be about Val’s love of…wait for it…the Grammy going to Alicia Keys’ “Girl On Fire” for the Best R&B album!

        *record scratch*

        (If you think that’s far fetched doing a post about an album, remember that Panama did two recently: One on Jay-Z’s “Magna Carta Holy Grail” and Beyoncé’s “surprise album”.)

        • Val
          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            TGT’s album was better…much, much better…
            *Muttley snicker*

            • Val

              I’m sure that will give TGT (who is that?) great comfort.

              • Sahel

                This one eye thing is creeping me out.

                • Val

                  Mission accomplished.

                  • Sahel

                    Wah,you have definitely accomplished. Here i was about to to request Liz i get a guest post spot,now am fading back to black

                    • Val

                      Tease.

                    • Sahel

                      That would be Agatha

                  • IcePrincess

                    Lmao u so stupid val :)

    • ratchet d-Ibaka

      Oh snap! Loving the new avi, Val! WERK dem brows mama!

      • Val

        Thanks, AP! :-)

        Congrats on your marriage to Serge. Lol

        • ratchet d-Ibaka

          awww, thanks!!!!!

  • Sahel

    Surfboat or however it’s spelt

  • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

    COOKIES AND APPLEJUICE!

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      Milk milk lemonade round the corner fudge is made….#bars

      • IcePrincess

        I kno u ain’t talkin Tristan. U still on the carpet having snacks too. Lmfaooooo ;)

      • She Who Reads

        Stick your finger up that hole and out will come a tootsie roll.

        Bruh, I thought I was the only person who knew that. Everyone’s always shocked when I say it.

  • Msdebbs

    ” Yandy Smith reminds all of us that while your degrees may not keep you warm at night…your dope boy probably won’t either.”

    CLASSIC!

    • Andrea

      So Freakin Hilarious!
      Funky Dineva says T.I. done had another baby. Talk about the ‘Family Hustle’.
      Wow I didn’t realize Remy was still locked up. I gotta find out how many years she got.
      I really like to play “One Wish” when I’m jogging. I do like that song!
      (YOU.ARE.A.BOY) HA!
      I’m so happy I got all the references in the post! Hilarious!

      • Msdebbs

        Between Amina from LAHH, being Mary Jayne, D Wade & Luda’s baby mommas side chicks are winning in 2014. I knew that Cosby persona TI was putting out was all bull shiggity!

  • JayIzUrGod

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB406fXXuo0

    Whoever created the term Twerk Team

    • Sahel

      I think this was a good thing. Unless what your saying is you are against young nubile women actively participating in team building exercises and shedding off calories while at it

      • JayIzUrGod

        Moi? Against brown women gyrating body parts for sport and bad spelled compliments? I’d never sir, I’d never disregard such a thing.

        • Sahel

          ” Stand down team one,stand down. Elimination of target no longer necessary “

          • JayIzUrGod

            You need to have more faith in me dude.

            • Sahel

              Perhaps,we should conduct trust building exercises in strip clubs for all VSB’s to enhance synergy and cultural understanding

              • JayIzUrGod

                Got a playlist strictly for the strip club. Get the dollar bills, call Val as our wing man….we’ll get more attention that way.

                • Sahel

                  If you have ever gotten to see the full version of Val’s face you would realize that you don’t want her at a strip club with you,she is suculento She will hog all the good ones

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    That’s exactly why I want her. She’ll be nice to the both of us, and share a few. Then we just buy her a few drinks and then the madness ensues.

                    • IcePrincess

                      Shoot, count me in!

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      I will but I’m scared you’ll take over the bar and leave us thirsty

                    • IcePrincess

                      Never dat. Rounds for everyone! Lap dances too!

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Word? Ok i love you like teenage girls flavored vodka then

    • ratchet d-Ibaka

      damn, that’s hot! their booray’s are amazeballs.

      • JayIzUrGod

        I must agree, hypnotizing actually

        • http://www.OpinionatedMale.com/ Mr SoBo

          I concur. Quite the asstute observation ole chap.

          • JayIzUrGod

            Cheerio old chap, we can all enjoy ass-tonishing sights indeed

        • ratchet d-Ibaka

          Mmmmmmh!

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Why does something tell me these women are lame in bed despite their twerking moves? If something looks too good to be true, it probably is…

      • JayIzUrGod

        You know that old saying, a good dancer is a good lover? I don’t buy it.

        They can’t do all that with a di ck in them. I’m agreeing with Too Short on this one.

        • Kema

          Hopefully not… If she can then what does that say for the d!ck?

          • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

            Women can wine their waist and twerk on the d!ck. As long as you got enough she’s not going to be falling enough.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Wet wet fap fap

          • JayIzUrGod

            Not many pleasant things at all.

            You know its small when people count with centimeters to make sound bigger.

  • ratchet d-Ibaka

    Serge Iba to the KA!
    This boy is sooooooooooooo vertically blessed. He needs an NAACP award already or something along those lines. Just think about it for a minute, he’s been/has been and will continue making physical, I mean, errm positive contribution, to many a love pocket. What’s more, his imprint-yes, that one, is a piece of artwork hanging in someone’s home.

  • NomadaNare

    Give us, us free (from moderation)!

    • IcePrincess

      Omg I’m so sick of this new G-rated crap they got going on. You can’t even say h*ll or d*mn, you’ll get moderation! I mean, I don’t except R-rated either, but PG-13, how it used to be, would be nice. *end rant*

      • JayIzUrGod

        Write half the word and then put some space in between the other half.

        Remember, you can edit what your post so that it isn’t moderated anymore

      • 321mena123

        But you can say fuck and not get put into moderation.

        • IcePrincess

          Omgggg fa real??! I love u mena! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuuuck. Dam that felt good :)

      • panamajackson

        If it makes you feel better, even we get moderated and have to go in and approve our own comments. It’s racist against everybody.

  • LehcarB

    I’m one of those people that believes Remy went in at the most opportune time for Nicki Minaj to rise. Can you imagine that rap battle??? I wonder if we will ever get the chance to see it.

    • Sahel

      There can only be one at a time. Highlander rules mate

      • LehcarB

        I disagree

    • Rachmo

      That would be awesome

    • JayIzUrGod

      What rap battle? Remy would have slaughtered Nicki, she’d have no chance in he ll. At all.

      If Remy never got locked up, Nicki would have never been on a song like Monster to flex her skills. She would have gotten put in her place by Remy, and only allowed to rap over pop beats.

      • LehcarB

        That was my point on your second part. However youre underestimating Nicki’s skills. Without the bull shes a good rapper and an adequate opponent for Remy. But yes Remy wins hands down.

        • JayIzUrGod

          True. It can’t be said she is wack, she dedinitely has skills, but nobody has been able to check her so she runs wild like a maniac and i know Remy would have deaded that from day 1

  • Rachmo

    *turns on “Wuteva”* Y’all two are foolish. I too am a secret Remy fan. I’d like to make my submission to Black History Month, the one and only K-Ci and Jojo. The Brothers Hailey provided a soundtrack for a favorite Black dance move, the body roll. They also supplied one of the ultimate wedding/prom songs “All My Life.” Then in a self sacrificial moment they proceeded to aggressively show up and coming singers what NOT to do once you get money. Pioneers.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Let’s not forget all the Jodeci clone groups they inspired. We discussed this last week. It was a painful moment in Black history. *smh*

    • JayIzUrGod

      Just play Feenin during a baby shower.

      A lot more baby showers will be planned afterwards.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “They also supplied one of the ultimate wedding/prom songs “All My Life.” Then in a self sacrificial moment they proceeded to aggressively show up and coming singers what NOT to do once you get money.”

      Oh…you mean something like this? LOL!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etWLrPW2C-g

    • panamajackson

      You are absolutely, they’ve been giving back to the community for eons. Those damn elder statesmen.