Pop Culture, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Tyler Perry Continues Plans To Destroy The World

Are you read for 12-13 sequels?

Or at least I’m sure that’s how many people feel after the recent media reports that Tyler Perry and his movie distributor Lionsgate were in talks to bring Tyler Perry’s productions to a new medium, most likely by creating a new cable television network, TylerTV. I’ve seen people losing their sh*t on Twitter and I only read for like five minutes. I’m fairly certain that the majority of the Reading Black Folks Consortium of America collectively yelled “no” and prepared for more non-sense and nincompoopery hitting our airwaves on a 24/7 basis.

Except here’s the thing, what’s the big damn deal? No…really. What’s the big deal?

We’ve been through this before and I get it. Tyler Perry is the living embodiment of the word “conversate”. He’s everything that’s wrong that doesn’t know its wrong and continues on smiling and shucking and jiving anyway. I’m sure we’re going to see some television shows that we never even knew that we never wanted to see. In fact, here are a few shows that have the potential to show up on TylerTV amid the objections of, well, everybody:

– Cooking With Madea- cookin’ Kool-Aid

-Madea’s Faith Based F*ckery – where Madea reads Psalms while waving a .44 in the air like she just doesn’t care and interviewing ex-cons and actresses who only star in Tyler Perry movies and TP knockoffs like Denise Boutte and Keshia Knight-Pulliam about their plight for Jesus

Eh,  I bore with that exercise.

Anyway…

That movie studio and Mr. Perry — whose flourishing African-American fan base consistently turns his plays, television shows and films into hits — are forming a new venture called Tyler TV, according to an industry official briefed on the matter who requested anonymity because the plans are private.

The partners will initially stock the channel with reruns of Mr. Perry’s sitcoms and movies, including the popular Madea series, in which he appears in drag as the title character, a gun-toting grandmother. They also plan to buy third-party content that meshes with Mr. Perry’s Christianity-tinged brand.

I really don’t see what would make Tyler Perry’s channel any different than TVOne or BET to tell the truth…except that there’s a good chance that people might intentionally watch it. His fanbase is pretty rabid and can’t get enough of his movies. And at this point he has an abundance. Maybe I’m masochistic or turning Republican, but the idea that we’d get another station owned and run by a Black person is actually pretty dope. Granted, its Tyler Perry but I think he’s a necessary evil. And love him or hate him, the man knows how to cater to his base. Sure his movies browbeat their message into the watchers. But we know all that already.

Hm…you know what’s surprising? That Oprah’s OWN channel isn’t doing as well as they hoped. Do you know what that insinuates? People really only like their sh*t the way they like it. Folks want to see Oprah at 4pm every day on whatever network she was on. But now…folks can take or leave whatever it is she’s bringing. Folks didn’t want all that extra programming that they weren’t going to watch, they just want to see Oprah. Tyler Perry might be able to leapfrong that kind of problem since it seems that anything with his name attached does well. Tyler Perry could release phones and some church would offer to sponsor them with some of Jesus’s wine money.

I will say this, Tyler Perry has some issues. Now they seem to be ones that a lot of women respond to: this need for the male savior. I wonder if he’d pick television shows and create them in which the damsel in distress epidemic was front and center?

Who knows. All I know is that at the end of the day, Tyler Perry stays winning.

So I ask you VSBNinjas, what do you think about Tyler Perry’s potential new television network? Do you care at all? And for sh*ts and giggles…what do you think would be a new TV show that would run on TylerTV and TylerTV only?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

    No, actually, I don’t care at all.

    (goes to sit quietly an a corner and watch what develops)

    • DQ

      You’ve been doing an alot of that lately… not taking your ball and going home, but definitely taking your ball and sitting at the edge of the court daring someone to ask you to play. What the deal?

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        Really? Is that what it seems like I’ve been doing? I guess I haven’t been participating much because I haven’t had much to contribute to many of the topics for the last couple of weeks.

        I don’t think that when I do comment, I’m daring people to react/respond. I thought that I was just offering my thoughts and making smart ass comments as usual.

        • Yoles

          i’m with you on this one again… 2 days in a row.. i don’t care… at all… i barely watch television anyway

        • DQ

          Hmmmm… perhaps I need to add a hash tag next time so that it’s more clear when I’m joking around. Maybe a #B-BoyStance at the end would have better set the tone yes?

          Anyway, as I recall, you interacted a good deal on that husband vs. father conversation, actually agreed with some of what you said (go figure) so no, everything is everything.

          Anyway, my bad, hashtags in the future. #IGotNext

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            Tis cool.

            *terrorist fist bump*

        • Mo-VSS

          Yeah, I feel that way as well. If I don’t have much to contribute, then I generally don’t.

          • DQ

            Y’all ninjas could always contribute jokes. There’s always room for “funny”.

            #ButYallStingy

            • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

              (takes back terrorist fist bump)

              #WhoStingy

              • DQ

                You taking back the the terrorist fist bump? Damn TAC it’s like that? Dow Jones dropped that much that you putting price tags on fist bumps now? #ColdCruelWorld

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

            I try not to be one of those people that comment just to say something and not because I have something to say *ahemFirstiesahem* so if y’all catch me doing that, feel free to point it out. I mean, what is fam for?

            • DQ

              The irony of you saying this and yet being “firstie thirsty” yourself today…

              …I’m not saying

              …I’m just saying

              #You’reOnOne <– SWIDT

              • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

                *ahem*

                I was first but I didn’t say “first”. Notable difference.

                You are right though. I am the one. Even when I’m not first. :D

                • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

                  i was just about to say…how you gonna throw shots at the first ninjas…then you are first and your whole comment is basically about not having anything to say. lol.

                  they shoulda never gave you ninjas options.

  • http://biggerthomas.wordpress.com MadScientist7

    i could give 2 sh*ts about tyler perry or his station. i wouldn’t tune or care to discuss any of is programming. what i would find ironic is if tylertv picked up the boondocks. now that would be hilarious.

    • chunk

      Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised. Business is business.

    • http://twitter.com/_boron Boron the Negromancer

      what i would find ironic is if tylertv picked up the boondocks.

      It would not be the first time that such irony would come into play:

      While Reginald Hudlin was BET’s President of Entertainment, Aaron McGruder produced two Boondocks episodes that caricatured him while lampooning BET. All while, for legal reasons, The Boondocks still listed Hudlin as an Executive Producer.

      As an evil overlord, McGruder’s adept critique of BET did not make me happy. Unfortunately, irony sometimes prevails over evil!

  • DQ

    Do I care? No. I simply won’t tune in. Others will. And life will go on.

    That said, I expect Tyler Perry to resurrect “Homeboys In Space”. And perhaps a 2011 update of “What’s Happening?” rebranded and remarketed as a show called “What The Deal Son?”

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      Well, one thing’s for sure. He damn sure won’t be showing any episodes of the Boondocks. LOL

      • DQ

        Tyler just needs to go to the LL Cool J school Of Battling. Lyrically LL didn’t win one battle (let me tell it), but everyone who ever went against him (literally) got put out of the business, Kool Moe Dee? Canibus? Careers destroyed.

        If Tyler really wants to get some “get back” that’s how he should do it, put that bama out of business.

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

          He’d better not dare or I will start to give a damn and trust that won’t be pretty.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          both of those ninjas also helped to contribute to their own careers demise by lacking ability to remain relevant past a certain point too.

          plus, Canibus made B.O.B.s album well before B.O.B. made it. only difference is, nobody was wearing skinny jeans and extra smedium shirts back then. Wyclef was specializing in soft ninja music a long time ago. ahead of his time.

          • DQ

            So would that kind of make LL the Lenox Lewis of rap battles…

            …didn’t really put any careers in the casket, just helped close the lid once they were in there.

            I can dig it.

      • J-Babi

        Lol! Now I’m interested in how a private meeting between Tyler Perry and Aaron McGruder would go.

  • organiker

    Ehhh…not sure I care. No, scratch that, I’m very sure I don’t care.

  • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

    Yet another judge show with Madea doling out justice as she sees fit. Or maybe a Maury-inspired game show where competing mothers fight for child support winnings.

    Who knows? Those of us who don’t find it entertaining can continue to watch Will & Grace reruns, Modern Family and Treme.

    • Fivegirl

      Judge Madea Mathis would be bomb!!!!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you know, you’re being funny, but a Judge Madea show might actually be good. Face it, our judges on these shows are pretty much just the country club version of madea with some of their jokes and “no-nonsense” attitudes, etc. Same sh*t.

      SW Atlanta could use a Judge Madea.

      • http://www.-theformula-music.com Karen

        SWATS could use a little grandmother justice. Really, any older Black woman would be a credit to the judicial system, especially the juvenile courts.

        Still a newbie; trying to lurk so much!

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          well keep on talking.

  • http://calmpleks.wordpress.com Calmpleks

    If Tyler Perry is the living embodiment of “conversate”, who’s the embodiment of “irregardless”? Everything that sounds wrong, that you’ve been lead to believe is wrong, but when researched technically, hypothetically isn’t.

    • Aleyah the Great

      i believe that would be his alter ego, madea.

    • http://www.twitter.com/drrdb TWIsM

      George W. Bush

    • http://www.twitter.com/damesmith Dame

      Irregardless = Soulja Coon.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Irregardless would then equal Ying Yang Twins “The Whisper Song”

      • Yale Gent

        DEAD!

        LMAO!!!!!

    • immakinuwait

      Steve Harvey

    • Keith

      Uncle Joe, or whatever his other character name in those damn movies I get suckered into watching by my wife
      DAMN YOU TP!!!!!

  • QTnonversations

    All I know is that when this news hit the fan, I heard, *this is NOT A DRILL, I repeat, this is NOT A DRILL*

    • QTnonversations

      I wish I could say I didn’t care, but I can’t help but think about all the new fans he will get with a whole channel saturated with ridiculousness.

      I feel like I’m in a paddle boat and the titanic is sinking…. Save the band!

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        you know…i wonder why folks would worry about what would come on TV though? is it just the dearth of black shows that we WANT to represent us. sometimes i wonder if we dont all just get caught up in revisionist thinking since only the good shows really remain in our consciousness.

        there were a lot of wack black shows back in the day.

        you know what i’m scared of? that tyler perry actually decides to give a sh*t on this and creates a black TV station that is actually better than any other option. cuz what’s gonna happen when you ninjas start talking about…”umm…so i was watching TylerTV last night and saw the dopest documentary ever on social migration by birds like Amber Rose from Kanye to Wiz Khalifa.”

        yo…motherf*cking Wiz Khalifa made 11 mil last year… Kanye made $14 mil.

        ouch.

        • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

          “Wiz Khalifa made 11 mil last year”

          I find that hard to believe. I’m sure it’s written in some trustworthy publication as fact but how…why…when?

          • chunk

            Wiz is touring like a muhfuh and I think that pays more than album sales do these days!

            • Around the Way Girl

              Touring pays waaaaay more than album sales.

              • WIP

                Ain’t that much touring in the world for a ninja with 1 good song

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          You must remember “Homeboys from Outer Space” as one of the terrible black shows on tv back in the day.

  • Aleyah the Great

    i care in the “i don’t wanna see anymore coonin until there’s at least one regular show” way and i think we’d be better off without 24 hr tyler perry but i’m still pretty meh. i probably won’t watch it on purpose. it will be bet part 3, except the bet that they only show on sundays.
    shows? i think he’d try to bring the mo’nique show to his station. maybe incessant reruns of his shows/movies now. i’m having a hard time coming up with things, because he just does the same idea over and over again.

    • Yale Gent

      agreed

  • Fivegirl

    I could see all sorts of fantabulous pseudo-reality programming on this channel. The kind with people who only exist for the purpose of making reality TV shows that make us feel good about ourselves. Like a dating show with handsome dark skinned men 6′ and up who only like to date women with children because they want to prove to black woman that good men exist

    Or a show about men who’ve had epiphanies and return to their baby mamas to help raise a tight knit family because they want to prove to black woman that good men exist

    Or a show about men who make enough money that the women they date would only have to spend money on looking cute and relaxing as their men take care of them because they want to prove to black woman that good men exist

    • Mo-VSS

      LMAO at all those shows. They would be awesome and hilarious at the same time.

      • Yoles

        i am laughing soooo loud right now… good shows Fivegirl

        • Fivegirl

          woohoo! with the Yoles seal of approval I finally feel like part of the VSB fam *blush*

    • rpp1986

      I love the fact that the plot factor that ties them all together is that “good men do exist”

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5FR1LGsT7E TheAnti-Cool

        Cause we all know that they don’t really. Unless they’re light-skinned.

        • Mo-VSS

          LMAO, right. Everyone of his movies…well not Daddy’s Little Girls, but the other ones I can think of, the dark dude has been “wrong, bad, evil” and the light dude has been “right, good, positive.”

          I guess…

          • chunk

            “…but the other ones I can think of, the dark dude has been “wrong, bad, evil” and the light dude has been “right, good, positive.”

            Nah, not really.

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

            i dont know…khalil kain’s character in For Colored Girls might be the epitome of wrong, bad, and evil. i think i hate him now.

            • chunk

              yeah that was the hardest… longest… scene EVER…. um, yeah Panama, thanks for the reminder/visual *pinch*

              michael ealy’s character wasn’t a positive image either, and he’s light skinned…

              • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

                I think he switched it up just for all y’all saying all his good guys are light skinned, LOL

                • chunk

                  probably! I was thinkin’ ’bout Laman Rucker in WDIGM and sayin, no mam he was allllllllllll good, lol

                  • Mo-VSS

                    Yeah, but J.Scott’s hubby was darker so…yeah. LOL

            • A Woman’s Eyes

              That role killed every last association made to the character Bishop from “Juice”.

              R.I.P. Bishop

            • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

              Yeah, Tyler switched that skin tone thing as soon as he had Derek Luke be the good guy. I mean, he was Captain Save-a-Ho, but still…

        • Fivegirl

          exactly. and in general, the way the men come in to save the day is always so awkwardly contrived. Like really, the ridiculously handsome sheriff just happened to be around and available when your husband two timed you? Or the ridiculously handsome latin man was just hangin out in your basement wondering if he could beat up your man and fall in love with you? ok I can see that happening…

          • DQ

            I see light skinned boriqua sherrifs hanging out in a basements beating up philanderers and ending emotionally abusive relationships with well timed peen action almost every day…

            …y’all act like it doesn’t happen…

            …wait

            …nevermind

            • LA2Tally

              HA!!!

            • Fivegirl

              dead.

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          “Cause we all know that they don’t really. Unless they’re light-skinned.”

          With cornrow cut-and-paste lacefronts.

          • mssmtaylor

            **Dead**

          • immakinuwait

            Shemar Moore (in Diary of a Mad Black Woman) ~ oooohhh the title makes me mad. :#)<—– mad face

          • kiki

            “With cornrow cut-and-paste lacefronts”

            I just choked on water and almost ruined my laptop laughing at this!

    • Tentpole

      You need to get these ideas copyrighted because Tyler Perry can read too and now you just gave him his whole first season.

      • Around the Way Girl

        Lol word.

    • http://www.awordorthree.com Crystal Marie

      I’d actually watch the prodigal father show.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you’re probably joking…lol…but that sounds like a lineup that all you ninjas would watch.

      and by all you ninjas, i mean me and the rest of you ninjas too.

      • Fivegirl

        lol all of us ninjas would watch it. Because it would give us false expectations of reality hope and that’s really what all those feel good reality shows do. When I watch biggest loser i think “i can lose three hundred pounds too” if i go to a ranch and leave my life and have the world’s best personal trainers and that’s why it’s so succesful. These shows would put joy back into many a living room

        • Fivegirl

          strikethough fail.

  • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

    My first instinct was to shout a very loud and resounding Hayle Nawl (fake country accent and all) but honestly, i don’t care one way or the other. I wouldn’t watch it and hopefully they will snatch House of Payne and Meet the Browns so i no longer have to encounter that nonsense when im watching TBS (very funny my arse!)