The Morning(s) After #threedeez: An Event Recap of the VSB Anniversary Party

Posted on 04/04/2011 by Panama Jackson

Oh, what a night.

Here’s a little background for all those suckas that don’t know: One day, I was talking on the G-chat with Cheekie. She mentioned that a gaggle of ladies would be descending up on DC in early April for the Cherry Blossom Festival. A segment had been to Miami and decided to hang out again in our nation’s capital. She asked me if we could do some kind of VSB event. I’m sure I said, “sure” and surely, we began formulating the plan to create a happy hour style event that turned into the Three Deez VSB Three Year Anniversary Party and Book Signing (which was also accidentally named by Cheekie).

And it was also the event where The Champ and I met for the first time. Before I get into the random recaps (alcohol was present, dontchaknow), I feel like everybody else was WAY more excited about us finally meeting than we were. Not that it wasn’t due, but when you work with and deal with somebody for so long, the meeting is merely a formality. But yes it still had to happen. Were there jitters? No. Curiousity? No. Illiteracy? No. Racism? No. So, what did happen when we met? How did the first meeting between VSBs The Champ and Panama Jackson go????

Glad you asked.

Liz and I picked him up from his hotel. He got in my car. I noticed he didn’t have a coat and told him he was on his white boy Pittsburgh sh*t rolling around without a jacket in 50 degree weather. Then we talked about how gay the cake was (if you saw the cake, it was pretty gay). It was pretty much how two ninjas who’ve known each other for a very long time would interact. Easy breezy beautiful cover girl. And yes, the cake was gayer than that last sentence I just typed. No real pomp. No real circumstance. Just two real G’s doing real G things.

Going to a restaurant with a cake in hand and a bunch of books to sell. Fern. Gully.

And with that said, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan was that a good time. There were drinks flying everywhere. Women all over. More men than I thought would show up. Books. Signed books. Old friends. New shoes. And I think Brick killed a guy. We met so many folks who frequent the site and met some new folks who hopefully will begin to do so. Here are some random observations from Three Deez knucka.

- Champ is a basketball head. We all know this. So what does he do for the first half hour that we’re there? Watch the VCU-Butler game? What do I do? Go holler at chicks and do banging re-interpolation of Adele’s “Chasing Pavements” complete with interpretive dance. What does that tell us? Put two ninjas in a room together and one is watching ball and the other is singing and dancing. That’s what it was like in 1811 and it’s like that in 2011. We got to do better.

- Champ is hilarious in person. Of course I didn’t know how much so until Saturday. We signed books for a very long time but we also had some hilarious moments signing those books. If you could read some of the things he signed in folks books? Here’s an example: To Shuuuuuuuga – two wrongs don’t make a right, but loving VSB (and me) means you make good decisions in life. Aw shuga no no no no. Champ?

To Shuuuuuuuuuuga – why did your mother name you that? I don’t know either. Champ.

- Le sigh, the DJ might have been the best terrible DJ in history. Let me explain. See, the upstairs part wasn’t a VSB function…back up. Because we were expecting such a big turnout, we worked out with the club a way to allow folks to go into the upstairs nightclub – which had a party going on – for free. Cool beans. Except it was “deep house” night. Which isn’t a bad thing its just that NOBODY who was up in the club actually wanted to hear that. But the DJ was a dope DJ, if that’s what you wanted to hear. Of course, his party, his rules, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the women wanted to drop it like it was hot but couldn’t find the beat to do so because the average BPM was 287. You’ll kill yourself trying to drop that in time. But it was free, and there was a bar…

- …which means that we took shots. Quite a few actually. At one point, at least 10 people lined up to take kamikaze shots with me. I can’t even remember everybody who participated. But it was dark, and hell is hot. Pretty sure nobody paid for it anyway so praise the lord and pass the panties.

- All of the out of town ladies came thru and represented HARD. Cheekie, Gem of the Ocean, Sane85, Max, Miss Patterson, Nick@Nite, Keisha Brown, LaLaBakir, Starita, and hometown heroes LiveLoveLibra and MsEsquire were the impetus for even doing the party (if I missed somebody, my bad). We all went out on Friday night and I’m pretty sure that I grabbed more derrierre than is recommended by the surgeon general. I can neither confirm nor deny if that last sentence is true.

- Pretty sure I gave SmartFoxGirl a table dance.

- The line for the book signing was insane. It also seemed like it would never end. Must be what the line to hell looks like. Thanks to everybody who bought a book and had us sign it. That felt great to know that anybody gives a sh*t about little ole us. Also, it gave us a great way to check out all of the ladies. Book signings are definitely where it’s at. Sadatay.

- Shoutouts to the SingleBlackMale.org family for falling through and hanging out. One of the most interesting parts of the night was when we all took a picture together and I’m pretty sure I was blinded by the 37 people taking pictures using the brightest flash possible…

…yet nobody seems to have a copy of that picture. Or any of the other ones taken for that matter. We had a photog and videographer there who will send me pictures soon and we’ll post them.

- The topic of what the difference between a Champ fan and a Panama fan came up quite frequently. It’s somewhat of a running joke between us. And no, we still never answered it to anybody who asked. At least not directly. Oh, and Classy6’5″ Diva is really that tall. Wow.

- Much like folks who’ve never seen us before, there’s an interesting feeling when you meet somebody who’s only lived in your life via word form and they look nothing like you thought they might. That sh*t can really throw you off your game. I ain’t saying that happened, but it happened. Not good or bad, I’m just saying I can’t be alone in my thoughts about that.

- I saw some superb fashion WTF moments. Hell, I was one of them. I had on a two Jesus pieces. Rapper game proper.

- We sold a boatload of books. Thank you. Buy some more. Thank you.

- To all the drunk motherf*ckers who were running around, ooooooh that’s a good look baby. Including Liz who at some point I’m pretty sure just went to go sit in a corner and play Angry Birds or something.

I’ll stop there (for now) and just add things over the course of the day. To everybody who came out (there are too many names that I do remember for me to even ATTEMPT to name them all) thank you very much. To all of the new friends we made and the old friends we saw. Oh, special shoutout to Circa1908 who Liz informed left the first comment on the blog of anybody who still comments today. It was really great meeting her and hanging. Pluse she tweeted some of the more outlandish things I said. And I’m pretty sure I said that after the New Testament is the Newer Testament, and the book right after Revelations is Realizations…and that Tupac has a chapter.

The moral? Stop drinking kids.

For those who weren’t there, fret not, we’re travelling soon. For those who were there, thanks…we appreciate the love and support and thank you for celebrating with us.

For those folks who came…what did you remember most? Speak on it. Share. Let’s make this a happy home. Carl Thomas is emotional. But we’re gangsta.

Special shoutouts to DC Tap & Parlour for hosting us with libations, food, and good service. We should all go back again.

Talk to me.

How was your Three Deez experience?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

“Very Smart Singles” and more….

Posted on 12/23/2010 by The Champ

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: 2011: The Year of The Very Smart Takeover

In the 690 posts and 225,000 comments since the first VSB entry (�emotional� cheating. the ultimate oxymoron), we — Panama, Liz, and I — have been asked dozens upon dozens of questions; queries ranging from the silly (“Does The Champ decorate his deez for Halloween?“), the waaaaay too serious (“When are the VSB’s going to tackle the rampant rapes by American soldiers in Afghanistan?”), and the f*cking stupid (“Even though I’ve never actually left a comment on VSB, didn’t bother to attach any writing samples, and didn’t even make the effort to get your names right in this email, can I guest post on VSB next week?“)

But, one question seems to pop up more than any other; a question we never really gave much serious thought to…until now.

“There seems to be a great community of like-minded and intelligent people here. But, I need to know where and how can I find the Very Smart Brothas and Sistas in my city?”

Enter “Very Smart Singles”, the Verysmartbrothas’ answer to that question. Taking a cue from the popularity of My Single Peeps, Very Smart Singles will pull from the thousands of VerySmart and single fans of VSB, showcasing those who choose to participate.

Here’s how it will work. A person (male or female) submits a picture and a short (150-200 word) and witty (well, as witty as you can be) bio to our email address. Included in the bio should be their general location (i.e.: DMV, Greater Atlanta area, etc) and the name they prefer to have on their profile. (For instance, if your name is Kimberly Johnson, you’d be “Kim J”, “K.J.”, or “Kimmers”)

We’ll then post the pic and the bio on the Very Smart Singles page (which is currently under construction). People interested in possibly meeting the Very Smart Single will email us, and we’ll then contact the Very Smart Single, giving them the contact info of whoever expressed interest. From that point, they’re on their own.

Although the page itself is still under construction, we’re currently accepting submissions so that when the page is ready to go, we can hit the ground running. If you’re interested, email a hi-definition picture, a short bio, and your location to contact@verysmartbrothas.com, under the heading “Very Smart Singles”. You’ll hear more about this in the next few weeks, but we hope to have the page up and running in January.

***About “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm at Night”***

After reading some of the comments here and on Twitter about this book, there’s something I felt the need to clear up. Although this looks, smells, and is titled like a relationship book, it’s not really a relationship book. Well, let me put it this way: it’s as much of a “dating and relationship” book as The 40 Year Old Virgin is a “dating and relationship” movie.

The book involves many of the same types of jokes, pop culture references, and asides regularly featured on Very Smart Brothas. And, to be quite honest, we’re just as concerned with people being entertained by and enjoying the book as we are with the relationship aspect of it.

For instance, the book –which is 250 pages long, and well be sold for $14.99 — contains (at least) 50 footnotes. Here’s two of them:

[5] Admittedly, if she�s from Cincinnati, Ohio, this is probably true. Seriously, I�ve been to 40 different states, 4 different countries and 2 different continents, but women from Cincinnati are easily the most sexually forward. Just thinking about the things I saw at Club Ritz and Annie�s a few years ago makes the Bible I keep on my dresser catch fire. Basically, it�s the most underrated place on Earth to have a bachelor party. �T. C.

[7] For those unaware of who is he, Ezekiel �Freekey Zekey� Jiles is the least talented member of the Dipset, the most ignant and least talented popular rap clique in New York City — a place which has been producing the least talented rappers in Hip-Hop for (at least) the last 10 years. He�s also business partners with second most untalented member of the Dipset, Jim Jones, a man who also happens to be my personal nemesis (even though he�s probably completely unaware of this fact) –T.C.

Not exactly what you’d find in your typical “relationship” book.

Anyway, between the book, the Very Smart Singles site, and the nationwide VSB day at satellite locations across the country (oops. I don’t think I was supposed to say anything about that yet), there’s going to be a lot going on here in the first part of 2011.� I’d ask you all to bear with us, but we wouldn’t be in the position to do the things we’re planning to do without your ongoing support, so you “bearing with us” is pretty much a given, and I probably would have insulted your collective intelligence if I even asked that question.

Instead, and on behalf of the VSB crew, I’m just going to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday weekend. Be fruitful and multiply and sh*t.

—The Champ

DC Happy Hour!

Posted on 04/12/2010 by Very Smart Brothas

Hey VSBs and VSSs in the DMV area, we just wanted to give you a heads up about a Happy Hour we are co-hosting TOMORROW in DC in conjunction with The Usual Suspectz and Elevated Entertainment.

Details below. If you can make it, please come and rep for all the VSBs and VSSs who ask us where do we all hang out at. Panama Jackson (and Liz) will be there to meet and greet you all! Continue reading →

Do You Know What Today Is?

Posted on 03/31/2010 by Very Smart Brothas

302

It's our Anniversary Bitches

That’s right, folks. Today, March 31, 2010 is our Anniversary. The day that marketh the conclusion of the second year of VSB.com’s birth.

A few words from the VSB Leadership

Panama Jackson: I, Panama Dontavious Jackson, just want to thank you, heavenly father, for shining your light on me. You make me happy, so very ha…waitaminute. Oh. Right. VSB. We just want everybody to know how much we appreciate you all coming thru over the past 2 years. There have been ups and downs. Tears and fears. Sometimes we traded tears for fears but at the end of the day, the fact that I’m a 3 never railroaded me. And since no trains were run during the making of this accomplishment, today was a good day. It is definitely hard to say goodbye to yesterday, but tomorrow will bring, a better you, a better me. To all of you folks who come here everyday and read and comment, or just read, thanks for sleepwalking. We’ve got some bigger and better things on deck and hopefully you all will come along for the ride. We’re going from a 4.0 to a 4.6. And you know the difference between those two. And if you don’t, I’m sure somebody here will tell you. Peace to the Gods, the Earths, and the Seeds. Your friendly neighborhood 3. Thanks for real. For I am nothing, nothing, nothing…if I (we) don’t…haaaaaaaaaaaave yoooooooooooooooou…Word. Life.

The Champ: in the last two years we’ve seen a black president bring back light-skinned black male points, the dumbest thing out of alaska since the last season of “northern exposure”, the births of twitter, facebook lesbians, kanyes shag, and the overuse of the word “vet” as well as the deaths of the king of pop, hip-hop, autotune, gatorade, corey haim, john edwards’ career and kat stacks’ vag1na.

still, all of this pales in comparison to the rise of verysmartbrothas.com, the modern day continuance of riley and springers lonely shanty nights, a deadly culmination of panama jackson, liz burr, liz burr’s boobs, and an eggheaded cat from pittsburgh, and I graciously thank you for allowing us to be the most important thing any of you have ever had in your lives.

Liz: If I went by� our email inbox, half of ya’ll don’t know who I am or that I help keep VSB afloat, but that’s alright. I still love you anyway. Thanks for making these past two years freaking awesome, and for putting up with us PJ and the Champ. It’s been fun working on such a large site with such an awesome community. I have enjoyed seeing the site grow and blossom to some wonderful wonderfullness, and I hope you’ll like the cool stuff we have planned in the near future.

Now, for the BIRTHDAY PRESENTS

Some of you may remember for our Centennial post we gave out (virtual) Commenter Awards. To celebrate our Second Birthday, we wanted to give a special thanks to the 10 most commenting-est commenters on VSB for the last two years. That’s right, we’re GIVING AWAY FREE VSB T-SHIRTS to these special folks. And not just any shirt, we have some new shirts coming down the pipeline (designed by a real designer!), and these Chosen Few will be the first to receive our brand spanking new exclusive design. Without further adieu …*drumroll*

The Top 10 Most Commentingest VSB Commenters of ALL TIME!

miss t-lee
Me fail english?
Cheekie
Luvvie
blackberry molasses
shatani
WuDaMan
pgh muse
Gem of the Ocean
Deviant

These super VSBs and VSSs have comment counts into the several thousands. Impressive. We appreciate their time and dedication to never shutting the f*ck up moving conversation here on VSB and would like for everyone to give them a nice VSB soul clap and throw a lil VSB glitter in the air. (If your name is on this list, we will be e-mailing you shortly about t-shirt options and delivery.)

The Best of VSB

10 Most Viewed Posts

10 Most Commented Posts

Time for a group hug

Thanks again for taking the time to visit VSB everyday. This is the part where all the lurkers take the time to de-lurk, and leave their first comment on VSB. Everybody else? You know what to do…

New Features and a Live Event Starring The Champ

Posted on 03/10/2010 by Liz

Hey VSBs and VSSs,

We have some exciting housecleaning announcements for you all:

1. Some of our readers asked us to get on Tumblr so they could keep tabs on us over there. Your wish is our command: Follow us here. For now it’s just an imported feed, but we might do some other things with it later.

2. A few of you were asking if you could subscribe to The VSB Files on iTunes. I’m happy to announce we’ve been added to the iTunes Podcast directory: Click here to subscribe. You can subscribe to the podcast’s regular feed over here. We’ll be back with new episodes shortly!

3. A new feature we’ve been trying out over the past week is AskChamp. The Champ really wanted a way to answer your dating questions via Twitter, but we thought adding a layer of anonymity (and more character space) would help people open up a little more, if you know what I mean. We hooked up a FormSpring account that feeds to our Twitter account. Our Twitter followers have been enjoying Champ’s answers, so be sure to follow us on Twitter and feel free to drop your questions in the AskChamp widget on our website’s sidebar. You can also enter your love questions directly on the AskChamp page.

4. If you can’t get enough of The Champ, you’re in luck because he is (finally) going on the road! I thought Champ had strict orders to never leave the State of Pennsylvania, but he’s coming to Washington DC for the Modern Day Matchmaker event, where he will be a featured panelist for the show! The event goes down Saturday, March 27, 2010 at 6:15 PM (ET) at Gala Theatre, 3333 14th Street NW, Washington, DC 20010. Tickets are $20 for the show, and $10 for the after-party. FOR VSB READERS WE ARE OFFERING A $5.00 DISCOUNT ON TICKETS! Use the discount code VSB at checkout to receive your discount. The code applies only to the full access show & after-party ($25) and show-only ($20) tickets. We only have a limited amount of tickets to sell at the discount rate, so it’s first-come, first-served. Get your tickets now!

That’s it for now.

Feature requests, suggestions, complaints? You can keep them to yourself always e-mail us, we’re all ears.

~Liz