Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

Todd Akin Doesn’t Know Shit About Rape. And, Neither Do I.

It’ll be August 21st by the time most of you read this, which makes it almost seven months since I wrote “Rape Responsibility,” And The Fine Line Between Victim-Blaming and Common Sense” and followed it up the next day with “Takeaways From Yesterday’s “Rape Responsibility” Discussion.” I’m sure many of you remember exactly what happened here that week, but for those who don’t, here’s a summary.

I crafted a very ill-informed, arrogant, and hurtful opinion piece about how women can help to avoid getting themselves in situations that may lead to rape by being more vigilant and acting more “responsibly.” It was a response to Zerlina Maxwell’s “Stop Telling Women How Not To Get Raped.”, and I assumed that it would lead to a day of insightful, occasionally heated, but ultimately forgettable discussion and debate. Basically, just like any other day at VSB.

I was wrong.

It was not a good day. Dozens of women left comments recounting stories of their own sexual assaults. Some even said that coming to VSB and reading this was a slap in the face, a gut punch that forced them to recall some feelings they hoped to never have to feel again. VSB was (deservedly) trashed on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, The Huffington Post and at least a dozen other places. (Actually, let me clarify that. VSB was trashed, but Liz and Panama had nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with that piece. They didn’t deserve to have to deal with criticisms caused by something I did.) And, for many people, the sting still remains. Even last week, I saw VerySmartBrothas referred to on Twitter as “the guys who wrote that rape post.”

Now, while all of this was going on at VSB, I spent much of that day (the rest of the week, actually) engaged in Gchat, text, email, and phone conversations with various people about this topic. Friends, family, and even notable feminist-leaning writers I was cool with — Jamilah Lemieux, Latoya Peterson from Racialicious, Deesha Philyaw, Kimberly “Dr. Goddess” Ellis, etc — all hit me up to basically hear directly from me what the hell inspired me to write that. Some, even after expressing how deeply hurt and disappointed it made them, asked how I was doing. One friend even said that when she saw it making its way around Twitter, she desperately hoped that I wasn’t the VSB who wrote it.

The “Takeaways...” piece came the next day. It was an apology that had twice as many words as the entry that sparked it. And, along with apologizing for writing it, I attempted to explain what led me to feel like writing it wasn’t a bad idea. Still, at that point, I still believed that what made people upset was more the tone than the content. Basically, I still believed that I had a valid point, but I just didn’t articulate it in the way I should have.

The abject wrongness of “advising” women that “more vigilance” would equal “less rapes” finally dawned on me a couple weekends later.

I was laying in bed with a person I was seeing at the time. We were both playing on our phones, having a conversation about whatever the hell it is that people talk about while laying in bed half sleep and playing with their phones. After a few moments, she turned her back to me, put her phone down, and went to sleep.

As I watched her fall asleep in my arms, it hit me. I am six foot two, and I weigh somewhere between 220 and 225 pounds. I am a foot taller than her, and I outweigh her by close to 100 pounds. I’m also a former division one athlete who is in reasonably good shape. Yet, here she is, half-naked, sleep, and completely vulnerable. She must really trust me. She must trust me in a way that I’ve never trusted anyone outside of my parents. She trusts me enough that she doesn’t consider me to be a threat to her safety, but she had to work to get to that point.

Although I know I would never sexually assault her, she doesn’t know that. Sure, she trusts that I wouldn’t and she hopes that I won’t, but she doesn’t know. She’s not certain, and she can never really be. This lack of knowledge, this not knowing whether a boyfriend or a husband or a fuck buddy or a platonic friend or a nice neighbor or the cool guy who bought her a drink at the bar is going to be the man who rapes her, is something women always have to think about. Always. Is it always the prevailing thought? No. (Well, at least I don’t think that it is.) But, from what I’ve come to understand, it is a perpetually subconscious thought for most women, a fear that is never really not there.

You know, I’ve heard people use the Black/White analogy when attempting to explain the difference between men and women and the concept of rape. Basically, just how Whites in America will never understand how it is to be Black, we (men) will never understand how it feels to always be aware that a person they adore, a person they love, could do something so awful to them. While I think the analogy works in some way, it ultimately fails because on some level, I do think that White people can have at least a peripheral understanding of what it means to be Black in America.

On the other hand, my insensitivity about rape — and the insensitivity possessed by men like Todd Akin — stems from the fact that I just never had to give more than a superficial thought to it. It — and “it” in this case is “how a typical woman feels about the fact that every man is a potential rapist” — is completely unfathomable. I can read books and blogs, I can ask questions and take classes, but I’ll never know. When I bring a date upstairs to my place for the first time, I don’t have to even consider thinking about how I’d defend myself, alert help, and (hopefully) exit if she wanted something I wasn’t comfortable offering. If I’m laying in bed with a woman and I tell her that I’m a little too tired to have sex right now, I don’t have to worry about her deciding that my “No” wasn’t really a “NO No,” and forcibly coercing me to change my answer. I don’t have to go through the same mental, emotional, and spiritual process a woman does when eventually getting to a place where she can trust that a man won’t take advantage of the access she’s granted him, where she can sleep in his arms and not paralyze herself with worry about what he might do when she’s most vulnerable.

I forgot exactly where I first heard this, but one of the best things I’ve ever learned is that true intelligence is knowing exactly what you don’t know. With this in mind, I have one message for Todd Akin and any other man who thinks they have some irreverent and important insight about rape — a message I wish I would have told myself seven months ago:

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 fiveisthenumber

    I don’t know a damb thang either. I wasn’t born with a uterus, so i’m have a cup of hush mouth.

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan

      dunno sh*t about rape, either.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “a cup of hush mouth.”

      i guess this is the non-alcoholic version of the cup of shut the f*ck up

    • bhillboy

      You don’t have to have a uterus to get raped.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        Word! I know someone close to me, a male, who was raped.

      • Yoles

        very true, but until it happens to a male or someone he knows its never thought about, also very true…

  • https://twitter.com/SaucedChi Cheech

    Birthday dude trying to be one of top 2

    • https://twitter.com/SaucedChi Cheech

      Also I definitely remember reading that post

      • Iceprincess

        Happy bday cheechmiester!

    • nillalatte

      Happy birthday Cheech! I hope Chong is there with you and you are up in smoke. hehe… enjoy!

    • naturalista88

      Happy birthday sir.

    • That Ugly Kid

      Happy Birthday, Cheech! What would you like as a birthday present? Since I’m also a magic genie, I’ll grant you 1 of 5 wishes. No, you don’t get 3. Why? Because you didn’t rub lamp, n!gga!!!:

      1. The company/intimacy of any 3 woman on the planet.

      2. For Soulja Boy to understand that in order for you to have “Haters”, having talent is a prerequisite.

      3. Six Free tickets to the premiere of “Soul Plane 2: Because You Weren’t Offended Enough”.

      4. All the money you can ever want.

      5. World peace and stability.

      Disclaimer: Due to budget cuts, wishes 1, 2, 4, and 5 are unavailable. With that out of the way. Choose your wish! Make sure to choose wisely!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      happy birthday and shit

    • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      Happy B-Day!!

    • Yoles

      ♫ ♪♪ ♫ Happy Birthday to You ♪♫•*.*•♫♪♪Happy Birthday to You ••♫♪ Happy Birthday, Dear Cheech Happy Birthday too You! ♫ ♪♪ ♫ Enjoy your very special day :D

    • Beautifullyhuman

      Happy Bday!!

    • YeahSo

      Happy B-day!

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Feliz Cumpleanos, Cheech!

    • https://twitter.com/SaucedChi Cheech

      Thanks everybody and @TUK could I exchange the Soul Plane 2 tickets for something else lol?

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    What shocked me about Rep. Akin’s comments is that they aren’t new – this has been going on since about 1988. How do you eliminate abortion even in the instance or rape? You eliminate ‘rape.’ Ergo, if you’re pregnant, you couldn’t have gotten raped. Now Mike Huckabee is talking about all the wonderful people who were conceived through rape. According to the CDC, 32,000 rapes result in pregnancies (this is 5% of REPORTED rapes) each year, 10,000 end in abortion.

    But the rapist and ball of cells mean more than the woman. I just can’t…

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People
      • Yoles

        this article broke my spirit for the day :(

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      mike huckabee is still alive?

      • miss t-lee

        LMAO

    • http://www.msnore.blogspot.com Lenora

      This has actually been going on since the 1300’s (or before) where rape culprits could be dismissed in court if the victim got pregnant. Her rape was therefore illegemate because she must be aroused and must have had an orgasm if she was able to get pregnant (http://chaffeyaphistory.homestead.com/files/SocialChangesHistory.html).

      Men and women do not think on the same lines that is why clear communication is so necessary. Too many times have my “no” been confused with “yes” or “maybe, you gotta just rub on me a little bit”. I hate being around men unless I know where we stand but I want to be able to have platonic relationships with men with being seen as a sexual object. Thank you for this again

  • AfroPetite

    The sad thing about Akin and his statement is that there are probably thousands of other men who honestly feel this way about the female anatomy. Because if women were really opposed to unwanted sexual advances, the body would totally be up on game and decide to send out the innate spermicide all women have freely flowing in their uterus to protect any eggs from unwanted fertilization….

    Yup, that’s exactly how the female body works Akin.

    Also, wtf is legitimate rape? It’s like a horrible case of spot the struggle within anything spewing from Akin’s mouth.

    *finds happy place with half-gallon of Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate*

    • Reason

      That’s even scarier when you consider that’s the out that child sexual predators use. If the child is naturally aroused then no harm, no foul. So scary.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      Akin’s comment is just a convoluted version of “no means yes.” Same crap, different articulation.

    • SweetSass

      Akin is also the legislator who in another context tried to coin “forcible rape” as a term. Wtf? All rape is by force.

      • kenyadigit

        I am not defending his comments at all but would statutory rape be considered “forced”? Legally I guess it would be since someone under the age of consent can’t legally consent to having sex but, should a 16 year old and an 18 year old having sex be considered rape at all? I knew a guy in college, dude was 19, who had to register as a sex offender due to a similar situation.

      • AfroPetite

        Just as strong and wrong as he wants to be. He probably learned all his science smarts at the same seminary that handed him that Masters of Divinity degree….

        It becomes so much easier for me to see why people feel the way they do about different religious sects when you’ve got idiots like him running around flashing crucifixes and talking about things they don’t know jack sh*t about.

  • http://challyshares.tumblr.com Nei Jae

    I literally stopped in the middle of the aisle in the middle of Wally World to read this posting. I remember those two days/posts as well as those somewhat suppress feelings tjat were re-exposed. What I didn’t realize is the animosity I was still “feeling” towards you because of it. While reading this posting, I felt myself exhale.

    I will be back to tackle the actual topic later….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “While reading this posting, I felt myself exhale.”

      well, thank you for reading

    • MJoy

      I had that same exhale and almost started crying. This was so moving and is leaving me speechless… slightly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such humility and self-correction from anyone.

  • http://panamaenrique.wordpress.com Malik

    Todd Akin has s*x with ducks considering they’re the only creature that I know of that has a biological anti-rape system built into them.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      that’s not too far-fetched. definitely has a duck fucker face

    • SweetSass

      Have you seen a duck penis? Those things are frightening… 3x as long as the duck itself… *can’t unsee.*

      • Angel Baby

        LOL wth? No, & I don’t think I want that image on my google search history. bwahahahahaha

        • nillalatte

          rotflmao!!! right?! lol

      • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

        so curious…but also not trying to google that at work.

  • That Ugly Kid

    Ah yes. I remember that post. The whole thing was a mess. Not only was the post itself damaging, but some of the posts from the VSSs (whose posts were most likely made out of emotion) and even a few VSBs actually p!ssed me off more. As some people insinuated that because Champ was male, he shouldn’t talk about rape. Not just women getting raped, but rape period. As if men never get raped when statistically men are just as likely to get outside of prison, as they are on the inside.

    I say this to say it works both ways. While men will never know the physically, mental, and emotional turmoil women go through when they’ve been sexually assaulted, the exact thing can be same about women, They too, will never know what men go though when put through that. Which is why it is idiotic to do what Todd Akin is doing, in trying to school the opposite about rape when he has no clue what the f*ck he’s talking about. People like this irk the f*ck out of me.

    • That Ugly Kid

      This kind of reminds me of that article this white dude, in all his white privileged glory, wrote in which he tried to school the black youth in how to escape the poverty and danger and be successful in America. Like….seriously my dude?

    • Sweet GA Brown

      This reminds me of a time whne I was younger and standing around with a bunch of teenagers. The topic of rape came up and most of the guys were sayin how they wouldnt mind if any female in the world raped them. Of course us females countered that stating every reason why you dont play around with serious topics like rape. One of the guys spoke up and took the females side saying that its not a joke and that he had been raped by 2 females at a young age. Honestly no one wanted to believe him but i did. I could see the pain on his face when he said it. It was like he relived it in that moment. It was sad but I learned that day that a male and females sexual assault produces the same pain and memories and sadness and it all takes time. We can never look at someones story of being taken advantaged of like its some simple matter no matter their sex.

    • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      Can you hear anything about women’s pain without saying “what about men”? Or is it always about what men have to suffer. Wait…..somebody somewhere is saying a woman is hurt. Quick, rush over and tell about how men get hurt, too. Can have people hearing her and thinking about it.

      • That Ugly Kid

        “Can you hear anything about women’s pain”

        This! This right here is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. Rape is not JUST a “woman’s pain” gotdammit! This is WHY I make comments like these. To acknowledge EVERYONE’S pain. Giving birth? That’s a “woman’s pain”. Menstral cramps and whatnot? That’s a “woman’s pain”. Rape? Is something EVERYONE experiences, and is not limited to women! Little boys, grown men, little girls, grown women, teenagers, etc….EVERYONE has to go through these things. When Champ or Panama write a post asking women about giving birth, that’s when I’ll shut the f*ck up.

        But I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that only women have the “qualifications”, for lack of a better term, to complain about/speak out about being victims of rape. Not gonna happen.

        • Yoles

          you are absolutely correct TUK but in this case, this topic spewed due to statements a politician made regarding rape, what is “real rape” and how it pertains to pregnancy wrt to abortion… now when a man gets raped and gets pregnant and has to deal with all of that, in addition to the feeling of never being safe anywhere at anytime with anyone because even just being you in your own skin which can get pregnant completely out of your consent, then state your peace

          • That Ugly Kid

            Yes and again, I know what this topic about. However, in Champ’s post, he backtracked and brought up the controversial rape post he wrote 7 months back. So since he backtracked and talked about his feelings in hindsight in relation to that post (other posters have done this today also), I did as well. This comment was just to air out my frustration I felt about the commentary I saw on that particular post.

            My comment with me mocking Akin’s retarded remarks (which is what today’s topic is about) and showing how insensitive and offensively wrong he is, is downthread. But, of course, that one got ignored so, yea.

            • missluna

              I absolutey AGREE with you TUK. I think you wrote a lot so some people weren’t able to differientiate your individual points made on several different topics. From what I understand you refrenced Champs original rape post but was MORE disgruntled by some of the ignorant one sided COMMENT REPLIES …. and went on to express the audacity that some people have to dismiss an entire gender because they have no uterus again in respondance to the replies not Champs original post.

              THEN you came back to this post about Akin and pretty much pointed out his douchemunger attributes.

              THEN in attempt to clarify further you gave examples of women’s issues vs people issues with rape being a people issue. Which brings me to think of the “but women get pregnant card” what about the young men who get raped by older women and they end up getting pregnant?? That young man has not only been raped but has ABSOLUTELY NO rights whatsoever about a being that may be brought into this world, he cant suggest an abortion however if he was a raped female he’d have a choice. I couldn’t imagine going through something so tragic and then having NO say whatsoever if i want to procreate or not and shamed if I do say something, I would think it’s like being raped all over again.

              Case in point as long as we have PEOPLE ISSUES …. PEOPLE are going to speak on them and they should I think telling MEN TO SHUTUP is essentially reinforcing what the Rapist encourages them to do anyways… so whose side are you on??? that’s why it’s so sickening to hear. I’d rather hear nails dragged across a blackboard than to hear someone portray as though their more entitled to speak on this issue. Its a PEOPLE issue. Besides if it’s a womens issue then aren’t we playing the “Our rape is worse than yours because I’m a woman” Card??? Now that’s asinine, ignorance in one of it’s truest forms. When we (women collectively) ACKNOWLEDGE that this is not a gender specific crime and that just because we hear more about women being raped/assaulted doesn’t mean nor negate the fact that its as detrimental to our men/boys, I think we’d be able to process a dimension outside of ourselves.

              *I also wanted to put this somewhere in my comment but haven’t found the place so I’ll just say PENN STATE.

    • SweetSass

      Stop. You’re mental.

      Champ was trying school women about how not to get raped.

      He wasn’t talking about male rape.

      And this isn’t about that.

      Grow up. This is not about you.

      And why you feel the need to bring up ‘the menz suffer too’ all the time just shows how mental you are.

      • That Ugly Kid

        I’ve read the post. And I know he was talking about women being raped. But as I stated, some people implied that because Champ was male, he shouldn’t talk about rape PERIOD. The reason why I always bring “menz suffer” in to things, is because when people talk about things like domestic abuse and rape, 9 times out of 10, men always get left out of the conversation. And act like women are, and the only ones who can be, hurt from these things. Which is dead wrong. Your “this isnt about you” statement only reinforces this.

        I downplay what women have to go through. But it’s never fair to only discuss one side of the story. And to act like rape ONLY concerns women is asinine. The fact the so many people joke about men getting prison raped and laugh at the notion is evidence to how insensitive people are towards making rape a one-sided ordeal. But of course, me mentioning that men can victims as well and that we ALL suffer, makes me the bad guy. I’m not the one who needs to grow the f*ck up here.

        • That Ugly Kid

          I DON’T* downplay

          • G.O.W.007

            I always read the posts I love this site but never post which is cool because everything I want to say is posted by you! !!! Its funny cuz when I read some things that Pete post and it pisses me off I go downthread a little farther and there you sharing in my pissedoffness !!!!!! Good shit Homie in the words of Red n Meth “I fawks witchu “

        • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

          i think what people are saying to you is this is not the time to play anytime of olympics.
          yes, men get raped. usually by other men, in very specific circumstances.
          boys get abused, usually by women, in very specific circumstances.
          girls and women get raped, abused and otherwise in MULTIPLE circumstances (wartorn countries, on dates, by family members, etc..).
          it is NOT a remotely even comparison and NOT the time to do it.

          sexual assault/rape is NOT a topic to EVER be joked about in any circumstances. there are too many men AND women that esp in the case of prison assault, make jokes about and it is NEVER ok.

          in the case of Champ, he’s stating his views on his personal lessons learned from his posts last year. he’s also telling this dude who is claiming that a woman’s body can prevent pregnancy to STFU. and he should.

          • That Ugly Kid

            Then let me help you understand. My post was not an “Olympics” post. As I replied to Yoles, THIS particular comment I made, was solely to addressed how I felt back when I read the commentary of the rape post. Other people here, have expressed the way they felt about the 7 month post. This is me doing the same. I’m not trying to compare anything. Which is why I made it a point to state that both men and women don’t what the other has to go through when dealing with this incident. And that they shouldn’t try to school the opposite sex as if they know jack sh!t about what they go through.

            • http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com keisha brown

              I never said anything about not understanding.
              But you are free to comment as you wish.
              I am also free to do the same.

        • SweetSass

          That is still not the issue.

          When Champ was giving condescending and incorrect advise… he gave it to women.

          He wasn’t saying… hey stupid ass men… don’t you know drinking will get you raped. You need to be educated.

          No. That level of arrogance and condescension was saved for women. That is the issue here.

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      I totally agree with TUK. While I thought that Champ’s post was well-intentioned but irresponsible in its assumption that if you do certain things you can lessen the probability of being raped, the way some people alluded to the fact that men cannot comment at all about rape was disconcerting. Sure, men will never know what it feels like to be a woman who always has this fear or concern on her mind, but there are plenty of men who have been raped and to simply say, “you’re a man. you can’t say sh*t about rape!” is as simplistic and far-fetched as Champ’s post that day.

      Like I said, I personally didn’t get offended by Champ’s post because I saw where he was coming from and I appreciated the attempt and intention, just like I saw where a lot of women were coming from with their reactions. On the other hand, with this Akin guy, I really don’t see it as a well-intentioned foot in his mouth. I think he’s ignorant and in a way also fails to acknowledge that rape is not just a female issue.

      • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

        And by “well-intentioned foot in his mouth,” I mean that his intentions were to counsel or advise us on how to prevent rape so as to protect ourselves (something that, unfortunately, we really cannot do, for rape is something the rapist chooses to do, not something the person being raped has any control over). I saw Akin as just another person putting the blame on women and pretty much saying that rapists only exist because we let them exist. I could be wrong, but that’s how I perceived his views.

      • That Ugly Kid

        ” but there are plenty of men who have been raped and to simply say, “you’re a man. you can’t say sh*t about rape!” is as simplistic and far-fetched as Champ’s post that day.”

        Exactly. This is what I was saying. My opening comment was my “Hindsight” comment, and wasn’t meant to detract away from today’s topic. But this is how I felt when that whole thing went down that day. I was so furious I think I even left a half-azzed “I’m not offended” comment on there when I really, truly was.

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          You’re right. You have every right to interjected anyone’s story of pain with “Imma let you finish, but I’ve been hurt too, just need you to recognize that”

          You have every right to do that. Doesn’t make it right, tho.

          • That Ugly Kid

            Read what I said again. My comments were NEVER EVER directed at a woman’s pain, and me trying to divert the attention upon myself. I, specifically, in fact, mentioned that my comments are directed at the people who said men’s voice should be mute on the subject in its ENTIRETY. I never said anything or even hinted at putting a woman’s pain on “pause” so I can whine. I mean seriously, I CLEARLY state in my opening statement that

            “some people insinuated that because Champ was male, he shouldn’t talk about rape. Not just women getting raped, but rape period.”

            Notice how I specifically state that I’m targetting “rape period”?

            • demondog06

              bruh stop trying to explain yourself..they don’t want to understand where you’re coming from.

              • Yep….I said it

                Awww, come on. That’s not true; I think there are quite a few VSS’s that are following his perspective. He’s trying pretty hard to make his point crystal-clear and it’s actually quite refreshing to hear a male’s perspective on the topic of rape. (Aside from the original post that caused such trouble a few months back…. I didn’t read it.)

            • nillalatte

              Yeah TUK, I get you. Sometimes folks are too emotional on subjects to view objectively.

  • Nik

    I’m happy that, as a man and adult who learned from a past mistake, you were able to recognize your error in logic. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell “legitimate rape” is before I even dig into the medical inaccuracy of the magically rape-x spermicide we women folk possess.

    • Manny

      First of all his theory is something I’ve NEVER heard before. But I’m sure he means “legitimate” as in a stranger drags you into a dark alley, not your date roofies you or anyway that it could become a he said she said.

  • http://therebelblackgirl.blogspot.com/ Jaida

    Wow! This is my first time on the site and what a great article to be a first impression! Well done.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      welcome and shit.

  • msdebbs

    Just another republican putting his a*s in his mouth…yall should be used to it by now. He needs to quit the senate race and go eat a d*ck. Sorry for my harsh comments it just infuriates me about how some people view rape. My mother was a rape victim and kept her baby. IT WAS NOT EASY and to this day 31 years (yes I just told my sisters age..shhhhhh) she still talks about it. All that crap he said about “the juices don’t flow and the woman’s body shuts down” is a damn lie. The human body is going to do what it does naturally rather the sex was consensual or not.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      wow. thanks for sharing that story

    • http://asiyah3.wordpress.com Asiyah

      “The human body is going to do what it does naturally rather the sex was consensual or not.”

      Exactly. Another attempt to bring shame on the victim. No wonder some victims of rape commit suicide.