I’ve had a recurring argument with various men and women alike. It all boils down to a simple question:
In a relationship, should there be full disclosure at all times.
…hell to the naw. Word to Whitney.
But let’s discuss this a little. There are two schools of thought present. One suggests that honesty and forthcomingness are the cornerstone of a strong and healthy relationship so you should provide your significant other with all the information they need to make an informed decision when it comes to dating you.
That’s fair and balanced. Just like Fox News.
The other school of thought suggests that you do some cost-benefit analysis, compute a couple of z-scores (very.smart.brothas), and come to a logical determination of what exactly constitutes need-to-know information.
I’m going to present a scenario for discussion. Of course, I’ll tell you what I’d do. I’m benevolent like that.
Let’s assume my best friend in life is a chick named Samantha. So one day, Samantha makes a move on me. She attempts to jump my bones in a most vulgar fashion. I’m sexxy like that so its not impossible. Now, after Samantha makes her move, I tell her how disrespectful it is and mentally take note that I need to fall Samantha back and give her the Jennifer Aniston treatment.
What would Jesus do?
Should I tell my girlfriend?
Um, no. I’ve taken care of the situation and further, what is the point in telling her. Sure she’d want to know but for what? There’s literally nothing she could do about this situation and the fact is she’d want to do something about it. Despite the fact that I did nothing wrong (which we’d determine AFTER I got grilled to the nth degree to make sure I didn’t incite the bone-jumping) my girl would need to vent her frustration and it would come at me. It’s one of those inevitable things in life. It’s up there with taxes, death, and Britney Spears. You just can’t avoid an argument when your girl (or dude) has nobody else to direct her (or his) frustration and pissedtivity towards.
One point I’ve heard often is that by not telling my girlfriend, I’m deciding for her what’s important information for her to know, essentially taking her power of choice away. Knowledge is power. Rah rah rah, etc. I call bullocks on that whole assertion. Hell, in every relationship we walk into it only telling people the things we want them to know. We determine what’s important for eachother all the time. I highly doubt my girlfriend would tell me upfront if she were ever a serial-midget stripper who only danced for men if they threw bananas at her, especially if she had no intention of going back to that life. And somehow, that seems pretty important to know.
Is full disclosure necessary in a relationship? No. Relationships are about providing your significant other the peace of mind in knowing that you love them and wouldn’t do anything to disrespect them.
Everything else is just extra.