vodka? meet milk.
It’s a popular misconception that just because two people are attractive and have a lot in common that they are good for eachother. I know folks who, on paper, seem like an ideal couple but if you put them together in a room, they have absolutely nothing to say to one another.
Datveryboring. Nobody knows exactly what it is that draws people together. While there are people who think that San Diego is German for “whale vagina”, there is an entire school of thought out of Cambodia who calls the unmistakeable chemistry between two people, dong-qui-quong. Some people just go together and it supercedes race, class, education, and pedigree. Don’t fear the reaper, it exists because it does.
On the other hand, you have the people who think they’re drawn together or want to believe that they work when the fact is, they’re about as compatible as a PETA fanatic and Cam’ron; Blacks and Koreans in South Central; 50 Cent and Amnesty International; Aretha Franklin and A-cup brassieres; John Boehner and sincerity; Joe Biden and the swear jar…
Well you see where this is going.
Anywhere, there are more than a few signs that indicate that perhaps you and your mate aren’t that compatible. Here are the few:
1. You have nothing to say to one another over dinner (or any other place where two people who actually like eachother might talk).
Sure the love may be gone and perhaps somebody just got finished f*cking the gardener, but at least you should have something to talk about at dinner. We just passed health care and Obama seems to believe it was done in a way that didn’t alienate an entire half of the voting bloc. THAT doesn’t stimulate conversation??? Or maybe Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush heading towards splitsville? Or I don’t know, kittens?!?!? There’s got to be SOMETHING to talk about.
2. You both are interested in similar things, but stand passionately at POLAR OPPOSITES and cannot talk to one another about certain topics.
James Carville and his wife Mary Matalin may be the ONLY couple in America this works for. I don’t know how they do it. Say you really love Obama and your partner really HATES Obama. You two are not gonna make it (no Twisted Sister). Or say you’re both into the environment and environmental policy, really heavy. Except she wants to save it and you want to demolish it so you drive a car with gas mileage equivalent of 18 old people walking down the highway – lots of gas, no mileage – and she drives a maliciously quiet Prius and runs over people she suspects litter without ever knowing. Give it up, turn it loose. And the beat goes on…
3. He/she is ugly, and you care about what your friends think and/or say.
Facts are facts, somebody’s dating the ugly people out there. I mean, I’m a 3 and I have a girlfriend. Thing is, in order to date a facially challenged individual, you have to be able to stand on your own two and not really bother with other opinions. Easier said than done, much like having coitus with Grace Jones, but somebody did it. You can too! (Date an unattractive person, not bone Grace Jones. *shudder* )
4. One person is extremely sensitive and the other person has the comedic timing and chutzpah of Chris Rock.
Sensitive people need to only date eachother yet somehow they always end up dating somebody who’s sensitivity level borders around laughing at ninjas on the roof during Katrina while still recognizing it was a f*cked up situation. Not sure how these two people end up together in all honesty, its like people just pay NO attention to red flags.
5. You insist on an OCD level of organization and your partner seems to believe the floor is as good a place to put sh*t as any where else.
If you’re favorite store is The Container Store, then you have no business dating ANYBODY who really likes going inside an actual Dollar General.
So those are few signs of incompatibility, what are some other signs that you and your mate just aren’t compatible with one another?
Talk to me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
3. He/she is ugly, and you care about what your friends think and/or say.
LOL this is sooooooooo shallow. LMAO!!! Personally I don’t care if my man is not all that attractive as long as he is a good man and laying the pipe down right! (shakes head and whistles) LOL
I think another signs that you might not be compatible is a difference in values. Some men want a “housewife” type of girl friend that stays at home cooks and clean. She might be more of a party animal. Guess that ass was looking good in the club at the time LOL
“What are some other signs that you and your mate just aren’t compatible with one another?”
If you are a festive person and can get in the holiday or celebratory mood and your possible partner is either a Jehovah’s Witness or not so much into festivities, that can be a bad match. Even if you may not trip over the lavish, some want their significant other to at least acknowledge their birthday with a “Happy Birthday” or card.
Also, if you are social and dude is anti-social….Or if you are a social butterfly and your partner is socially awkward….like make EVERYONE feel really uncomfortable or say something really inappropriate awkward…Yeah, ya’ll feel me.
@legitimate_soul,
Sorry, this was put in the wrong place! My bad!
@legitimate_soul,
“Sorry, this was put in the wrong place! My bad!”
***filed under “things the champ usually says in bed after six rum and cokes”***
@GinaMarie,
Ugly men do work about 85% harder in the bedroom. Still I would not take one in public, don’t care how good the pipe is. Besides an ugly man knows his place and wouldn’t expect that anyway.
Foul? yes. True for most women? Fuck yeah.
@RocktheCatbox,
Ugly men do work about 85% harder in the bedroom. Still I would not take one in public, don’t care how good the pipe is. Besides an ugly man knows his place and wouldn’t expect that anyway.
replace men with women and pipe with p*ssy and the general theme remains as true
@The Champ,
Amen.
@RocktheCatbox, LOL *dies* I shouldn’t be laughing but damn! LOL I guess I never really dated someone that I thought was ugly so it didn’t matter if anyone else thought that they weren’t Denzel.
@GinaMarie,
Oh, what we did wasn’t called datin’…
If you have VERY dissimilar religious values its not gonna work
I consider myself an averagely devout Christian and made the mistake of dating an Athiest.
While in rare cases this could work out most of the time its just…bad. He would not/could not come around to my way of thinking and would NOT even set foot in a church. (like he would catch on fire and shyt the moment he stepped across the threshold)
I humored his rants about there being no God and all but he refused to consider my beliefs or even consider the prospect that there may be a “God” somewhere out there.
So yeah, bad idea
@lh, I’m about to go visit an out of town quasi-boo who isn’t into the whole religion thing while I am. Dang. I always figured it wouldn’t work out, but you really just confirmed it lol. Free dinner anyway?? Ohhhh yeah!
@Anike Love,
“quasi-boo.” i love it.
and, yeah, the whole dating an athiest thing is highly unlikely to work out. esp. when you start talking about the future. cuz um…..all of charli skipper’s kids (even though, technically, i don’t want any) is gon’ serve the lord. discussions’ll get unnecessarily heated.
and i might end up calling you “satan” and shoutin, “not in my house, DEVIL!!”@charli skipper,
Exactly! This was always an issue with the ex cause he was determined to
turn his children into mini-demonsTHE DEVIL IS A LIE!
Did the HTML work? (Never tried it before) lol
@charli skipper,
I second that emotion and that you’re hilarious.
@charli skipper,
“is gone serve the lord”
^^^ I’m cryin’…LMAO.
Yes, I can hear it now…charli and lh hollaring “get back thee satan, I rebuke you in the name of the lawd!”
Too funny!
@Anike Love,
Yeah sorry to bust that bubble for ya
But shoot, you better get that free dinner! hahaha
@lh, The religion thing is def a deal breaker. I’m more of a free spirit and not religious at all so there would be some conflict in dating someone who is so strict about their religion. I respect it but I don’t want it force on me.
@GinaMarie,
Agreed. I have a problem with narrow-minded people period… The religious narrow minded breed is even worse.
@lh,
i have to co-sign this, especially if it’s something that you hold close to you. Having differing religious views or values is eventually going to be a deal breaker down the road whether its arguing about
giving all that money to da chutchtithing, getting the kidsdipped in holy waterbaptized, and the like.@lh, “If you have VERY dissimilar religious values its not gonna work.”
I think the word VERY in your statement is highly appropriate. Being a Pragmatic Agnostic who dates in the south and in the black community, this very often tends to be a sticking point. Surprisingly enough, I do meet christian women who will not run away screaming once I reveal my beliefs.
I often debate myself about when it’s most appropriate to bring this up. With some it’s on date one. With others, I figure it’s not an issue until it’s an issue. If we’ve dated for 6 months and it hasn’t come up, what’s the point of bringing it up…it’s obviously not an issue.
I tried to fit into a Christian mold for a period of 8 years but never could see what it was that everyone else saw, that is, what gave them the ability to simply accept everything in the Bible as the truth without question. I never understood it and finally accepted myself as being different. I do recognize the system of morality that it promotes and I can certainly appreciate that. There’s definitely a need for it in the community.
Out of respect for my dates, who usually tend to be Christian, I will bless the food at dinner. This usually causes bewilderment and I get the question “why do you pray if you don’t believe?” to which I respond “It causes me no harm to do so.”
As far as kids go, I take no issue with raising any future kids in the church. We live in a society that is predominately Christian. Not raising my kids to understand Christianity would be like sending them to live in rural Vietnam and not teaching them Vietnamese. How can you identify with others if you don’t know what they are talking about. At 18 they can decide for themselves. Besides that, it is an in-place system for providing a basis of morality. No need to recreate the wheel.
While I am not Christian, I am Christian-friendly so to speak. I suspect that this is what makes it easier for a Christian to date me. I believe what I believe and I respect that she believes what she believes. I make no disparaging or condesending remarks about her beliefs and will even go to church with her from time to time. I just don’t have to feel guilty or conflicted when I do something inline with the nature of man simply because the Bible says not to (yes, fornication).
If two people can agree to disagree, understand and respect where each other is coming from, and be willing to govern themselves accordingly…and remain willing to do so, the differences don’t become a deal breaker. Similarly, if you squeeze the toothpaste from the top and he squeezes from the bottom, simply use separate tubes…it’s not a deal breaker just because you believe your way is right. If you are closed-minded or take a “my way or no way” attitude, then yes, it won’t work. Those who have accepted me and my beliefs usually say that that’s between me and my God. I’m cool with that.
(Sorry for the rant, but it hits close to home.)
@Caballeroso, I’m a Christian woman and I could date you. I don’t think that most people are as “accommodating” (for lack of a better word) as you are – in terms of praying over the meal, being willing to raise your kids as Christians, and occasionally going to church. Also, it doesn’t sound like you’re the type to try and change your girl’s mind or constantly point out why she shouldn’t believe what she does.
@Caballeroso,
I think men are more accepting of the religious sitch than women… maybe because the man is supposed to be the Head of the household and as such is sorta, kinda responsible for the spiritual well-being of women…
I say this because despite my very interesting (read absolutely non-traditional) beliefs, it’s never really come up as a problem in my dating… And I am opinionated so those beliefs are not hidden by any means… but I also do respect others’ beliefs whichever they are… which is nice because it allows you to date across the belief system spectrum
and confirm what you’ve always suspected, those religions are ALL crazy… I will claim spiritual, but I usually shy away from the “religious” bunch…you my friend, are a smart, smart man!
@lh, I’ll give you one better. A Christian with an ACTIVE WALK WITH GOD dating the person who just “believes”. That’s a no dice as well. I just did that and it was brutal. You can’t judge someone by a standard they are unfamiliar with…or worse. They are familiar with the standard, but don’t apply it to their lives because their belief is weak. Nope.
Your walk don’t have to look like mine, but you better have one.
@Mo, YEP
4. One person is extremely sensitive and the other person has the comedic timing and chutzpah of Chris Rock.
this one hit home…actually all of them for my previous relationship but especially this one…i didn’t realize dude was so sensitive…these just jokes mane…i like to joke…and i’m a fan of sarcasm…daily….also this one
2. You both are interested in similar things, but stand passionately at POLAR OPPOSITES and cannot talk to one another about certain topics.
yeah it seemes we had similar interests but uh yeah…not really
i really wasnt happy but stayed almost 2 yrs till i fd out he was cheating (gasp, the nerve of the facially and abdominally challenged mofo) but i am in a new relationship that is like 10X better…in every way!!!
@caramel eclair,
so, ummmm, why were you even with this person?
I wear glasses because I need glasses. I dated ths girl who would leave stuff on the floor, then would get mad when my blind self ran into/trippped over it on the way to the bathroom. She refused to put the shit away off the floor!
@legaleagle, tragic…..but that sounds kinda funny none the less
@Blacklaw,
lol, i agree. this sounds like something that would be in a apatow flick
@legaleagle,
That’s not bad, I leave stuff everywhere and my husband blind (was) I bought him lasik solve the problem. He still a neat freak though. I just gotta remind him that we bought that $4000 surgery so I wouldn’t have to hear abt sh%t on the floor!
@Panama Grace Jones LMAO I had to google who the F is Grace Jone? she looks like Michael Jordan with that flat top… what’s wrong with that? don’t y’all ninjas worship Mike? *wink wink*
You don’t have the same chex drive…
I had this issue with a boyfriend of mine…I wanted to bump uglies on everyday that ended in y… and he needed divine inspiration to drop his pants… there was alot of frustrations on both sides…(and batteries used ) in this relationship…
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil,
been there, done that, got the battery bill, lol.
@naturallyalise1, lol…..whats ur substitute of choice?
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil,
Damn they have guys like that, I like to have chex when its anytime that ends in o’clock.
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
Coooooo Siiiiiiign….although you’d never know that now….:(
@TheHallway/TheSunk,
LOL…
and any month that has a Saturday?
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil, i assume that ol’ boy had a job that really took a lot out of him or maybe you weren’t sexually compatible either way this is just not the way the world is supposed to work……
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil,
*remembers the time…(#nomj). i too have been there done that.
difference is, i just walk away from the relationship rather than try to have my cake and eat it too (cheat)
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil,
Have to co-sign this. Not only chex drive but chex style… aka compatibility. When that sucks? Everything else can be “perfect” and it’s still no bueno…. It will leave a bitter taste in both of your mouths… (pun semi intended)…
One person likes using protection and the other likes it raw and in the flesh. Always the start of an argument from my experience!
@Anike Love, as a dude i can only assume that he wasn’t feelin the glove………i can cosign on the strength of dating someone who got that killah…..you dont want to “waste” it by using no “tection”
but alas poor Urich, in this day and age…..it just aint safe out there for a young sistah…..i begrudgingly cosign *sigh*…..well played Ms. Love, well played
negroes are legal,
over and out
(kicks pebble walks off into the distance, violin playing)
“i begrudgingly cosign *sigh*…..well played Ms. Love, well played”
Namaste *presses hands together and bows slightly* lol
@Blacklaw,
“but alas poor Urich”
LMAO!!!! Love the Hamlet btw…
@Blacklaw,
actually, most times gloves leave me drier than the sahara dessert..but alas…
@Anike Love,
…and the start of an itching, burning sensation…
@RocktheCatbox, WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL *like they do in the black church*
When there is no where you can go together besides restaurants. (if that) I have tried to date people with dissimilar interests thinking we would rub off on each other… no such luck. I wanted to do my spoken word thing and this fool wanted to go to “grown & sexy”,
frontin’ a$$upscale mixer type of stuff. Total mismatch. The only thing we could vibe on was dinner dates…. *yawn*@naturallyalise1, WOW!!! I feel u on that!! I consider myself a well rounded, cultured individual and if all you wanna do is go to dinner and grown and sexy events, that gets sooooo old. Can I get a broadway play , no tyler perry please, or how about visit an exciting new art exhibit!! I even love sporting events especially b-ball!!
@naturallyalise1, eugh, talk about restaurants. How about a dude that only wants to eat hamburgers wherever we go? McDonalds-Burger, T.G.I.Fridays-Burger, Cheesecake Factory-Burger, P.F. Changs-Chinese Burger, Kobe Japanese Steakhouse-Sushi Burger, like wtf?!
I think food is tied strongly to culture, and dating a guy who hated or refused to try anything that wasn’t American irritated the hell outta me!
@Anike Love,
I think food is tied strongly to culture, and dating a guy who hated or refused to try anything that wasn’t American irritated the hell outta me!
thing is, some guys have acid reflux and irritable bowel syndrome and sh*t and can’t be experimenting with all types of foreign foods.
@Anike Love, one deciding factor for me is your last statement Ms.Anike (it might be stupid to some but it is serious to me). I cook any and everything but my children will be raised on that fufu and jollof rice (West African food) even if I end up living in most remote part of this earth. My husband can not have a special plate of lasagna while the kids eat fufu…No sir.
@Anike Love,
I think food is tied strongly to culture, and dating a guy who hated or refused to try anything that wasn’t American irritated the hell outta me!
I so know this guy!!! And I want nothing to do with him… Ugh. I can’t stand narrow minded folks.
one person always dreamed of havin a career, a nice home, and a future. and the other still rides around jumpin up and down in the driver’s seat with his car rattlin to n*ggerishly loud music, uses the word “swag” in a non–sarcastic manner, and refers to everybody he meets–embarassingly, even wait staff and family members–as “big dawg” or “boss man” (pronounced: bawse main)
@charli skipper, lol @ bawse main
…..with his country bumpkin ass.
@charli skipper,
you cant have me laughing out loud at work! i need these 2520s to know im doing something
“What are some other signs that you and your mate just aren’t compatible with one another?”
If you are a festive person and can get in the holiday or celebratory mood and your possible partner is either a Jehovah’s Witness or not so much into festivities, that can be a bad match. Even if you may not trip over the lavish, some want their significant other to at least acknowledge their birthday with a “Happy Birthday” or card.
Also, if you are social and dude is anti-social….Or if you are a social butterfly and your partner is socially awkward….like make EVERYONE feel really uncomfortable or say something really inappropriate awkward…Yeah, ya’ll feel me
@legitimate_soul,
“Also, if you are social and dude is anti-social….Or if you are a social butterfly and your partner is socially awkward….like make EVERYONE feel really uncomfortable or say something really inappropriate awkward…Yeah, ya’ll feel me”
So true. I knew this woman and her husband was anti-anti social. When they came to gatherings, he would be the one sitting alone in another part of the house while everyone else talked. If the gathering was at their house, he would be in the bedroom or off elsewhere.
@legitimate_soul,
“and your possible partner is either a Jehovah’s Witness or not so much into festivities, that can be a bad match.”
Cosign,especially the on the JWs. Even nonpracticing ones seem to hold on to not celebrating. One guy wouldn’t even attend a Christmas Party. No, thanks.
(or maybe it’s just a convenient way to be cheap. *Ivyette shrug*)
ugh. see why do you have to go reminding me of three years wasted of my life. let’s see…
my chex drive was high… his was low.
i’m christian… he was atheist.
i wanted to move out of state… he never ever planned on leaving his mama’s street.
i wanted to pursue the dream and be a big time (or semi-small time lol) writer… he wanted to do… oh wait… he had no ambitions outside of getting married and knocking me up.
he was super controlling… i HATE being told what to do and how to do it.
he liked to sit at home… i liked to go people watch, museum visit, park stroll.. something.
meh. …at least we could watch bball, UFC, and The First 48 together. :-/
@Muze,
i feel you on the one about having big dreams and him not having any, other than to
trapmarry you and knock you up. that baffles me. like, how do you live like that? i could see if you were 94 ( i always hate listing ages that i think are old. because what about the 94 year old woman reading this? lol. how will she feel that i think it’s okay for her not to have dreams? lol) and didn’t have dreams. but in your 20′s/30′s, that’s a lot of life you have left to just be chillin with no expectations.@charli skipper,
yeah… was such a waste too cause he’s dang near genius in every area of academia except writing. lol.
but yeah, being a student for 15yrs and taking one class a semester just to prolong your advance into the ‘real world’ just isn’t cute. nope.
@Muze,
But WHY???????????????? (I’m not sure that’s enough question marks.) I just don’t get why you or anyone else work so hard to disregard glaring indicators that the shii is not gonna end well. I mean I saw the red flag halfway thru the first line…
@bittersweet’s baby,
I wondered this too. Maybe certain “goggles” were being worn?
@bittersweet’s baby, @Monk
sad thing is, i knew after the first two weeks of knowing him that we ultimately had waaay too many differences to have a happily ever after.
i can only attribute it to me being soft and literally being bullied into a relationship.
..but don’t get me wrong, he treated me great. chexual relations were great. he LOVED me deeply (kind of obsessively now that i think back) and had a stronger moral code than any christian male i knew at the time… so eventually i tried to convince myself that we could work. smh.
@Muze,
I know what you mean… I stayed in a relationship way too long because we were just “so great together”… on paper…
Anything else though? Nope. But he was sweet, wanted to settle down, was a good son-in-law, high achiever, and the list goes on… but we just didn’t gel. We were great friends and that was it (for me)…
I tried to convince myself for the longest, but a breakdown and countless sleepless nights later, I had to give that ring back… or I would have ended on Snapped 15 years down the road.
@Muze,
Oh wow lol Shouldn’t you have ran the other way when the first two or three incompatibilities started to show? I mean, I know they say opposites attract….
BUT DAMN lol
Oh and scary side-note, this sounds like my ex…
@lh,
lol. you know tyrone too?
@Muze, much love to all the religious sistas with an insatiable sex drive……..loves it
paradox? maybe, a good duality to have? definitely
@Blacklaw,
LOL nobody is perfect.
@Muze, I’m still trying to find out where yall meet these guys with low chex drives.
@Deeds, I didn’t know that they existed.
@Deeds,
man… don’t even get me started. i think it was moreso our incompatibilities creating a disconnect, and as such lowering his desire? idk.
@Deeds, Oh yea they exist. I had a guy once tell me that I was too much of an energizer bunny for him. :/
God’s newest creation…men with low sex drive
@T
mine was horny toad. :-/
@Muze,
“my chex drive was high… his was low.”
You think that is not compatible? How about having a high sex drive and have your SO laugh when you have a stiffy instead of taking care of business.
@Humble_One,
wow. she sucked.
…oh wait. she didn’t suck. lol.
@Muze,
*dies*
@Humble_One,
WHAAAAAAA????
That’s just RUDE!
A hard dick is a TERRIBLE thing to waste.
*the more you know…
I just want to add that a “giver” and a “taker” may not be compatible. Ideally, the “giver” wakes up and realizes that ‘ish is old and this &&^%*%$## ain’t showing no reciprocity.
@legitimate_soul,
the giver and taker relationship definitely has a shelf life. i’ve been the giver, and it’s not that you mind doing the things you do or expect anything extra from the other person because of it, but when you realize that things that were once acts of kindness or niceties that you enjoyed doing for another person have become expectations, and they just intend to sit on their ass and take, take, complain, and take, you realize that you can’t live like that for too long.
the giver and taker have to switch roles every so often in order to remain compatible.
@charli skipper,
Yussss! I’ve been the giver too (and the fool).
@charli skipper, Oooh, I so co-sign with that.
@charli skipper,
Speak that truth! Co-Signage to the nth power… that’s definitely where I have found myself in the past it is NOT a good look. Never.Again.
@legitimate_soul,
I ALWAYS fall into the giver role. When I need a break, it always leads to complaining/arguing…. *sigh*
If you are a “self-starter”, motivated, and work for everything you have and he expects the world handed to him on a silver platter because he’s always taken the easy road and barely worked for anything. I was slapped in the face with this today with someone dropping out of class. Negroe talking about “I don’t have time to take two classes while working 40 hours a week”. Uuuum, you do realize you’re talking to someone with two jobs and holding down a 4.0 in school, not to speak of other small obligations throughout the week? You just wanna spend more time on the PS3, I see you on online there all the time, you ain’t foolin nobody.
@sanen85,
I, unfortunately know a couple who is exactly like this.
She’s earning a doctorate and her husband can’t understand why she wants to achieve all that she can achieve. He’s a decent man but I’ve had dinner with them only once (they like to pick on each other in public and that sh#t’s not cute) to know that it’s only a matter of time before he gets his walking papers, for real. They have children but this chick has it going on and she’s making huge strides to create a great life for HER AND THEIR CHILDREN. No Child Left Behind on a whole notha’ level.
The entire comment section of this entry is going to smell like breath. Good or bad. I’m sure that a lot of us are exhaling like YES LAWD. I remember one of my exes with this post title alone.
“If you don’t remember a single deep conversation, you probably won’t work.” Now, the definition of deep is relative to your interests, but for myself, I needed some kind of sounding board at least, if not some mental jousting to keep me going. I overlooked that for a long time because she was the trophy. She was that one chick that was foine as hell, on the surface. At that stage of my life, I just wanted to bag her (not sexually….ok, well, that too, but that wasn’t the main goal, just wanted her as my girl….don’t judge me.) So, knife drawn incident, stalking, and vandalism aside, I can see what I couldn’t then. I realized that there was a thin line between funny and likable and being batsh*t crazy. We had nothing in common outside of the desire to laugh. That simply wasn’t enough for me to overlook her washing her draws in the dishwasher.
Ok, I’m going to get off the couch now and read more comments.
@Saule Wright,
In the dishwasher! *torn between shock, concern and laughter*
@legitimate_soul,
T’was the same choice I had to make when it happened….
@Saule Wright,
Dang, sounds like she was definitely caraazzzy about you. LoL
But hey, like a few of my male relatives/friends would always testify: “A lot of ape shyt crazy chicks got that snappa…its like a vicious cycle.” But the same can said about some of these crazy, deranged, hot tempered and possessively insecure dudes too…its like a mandingo tribe. WooWooWoooooo!
***and I’m dying to know what brand of dishwashing detergent did she use to clean the panties with?*** LMAO
@Saule Wright, yo thats some ill ish…..yo you gotta finish this story what was the reason for the dishwashed drawes? and i can cosign on just wanting to have some eye candy on your arm but i lose interest pretty fast so they never last long
@Blacklaw,
*maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. I remember essentially asking, “WTF was you thankin?”. Her response was very dead ass, no nonsense, “We were out of laundry detergent.”*
terrible. lol
@Saule Wright,
“That simply wasn’t enough for me to overlook her washing her draws in the dishwasher. ”
Oh man, this is sooooo disturbingly funny. LMAO
Did she put her dishes in there at the same time she was washing said draws? Like a kill two birds with one stone kinda thing?
@miss t-lee,
…the dishes that were in there were CLEAN.
were….
@Saule Wright,
Flamin’ hot mess mayne!!!!
@Saule Wright,
i thought i’d heard it all. wow.
i mean, what was your response when you saw that? please let me know. i can’t imagine.
@Muze,
maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. I remember essentially asking, “WTF was you thankin?”. Her response was very dead ass, no nonsense, “We were out of laundry detergent.”
I left the crib and had a few drinks.
@Saule Wright, can’t. breathe. wow.
It’s called “hand wash” in the tub with soap.
@Saule Wright,
Saule, I feel you. I went through the same thing. Part of me is still embarassed about being in love with a chic like that.
@Humble_One,
*slides you your drink of choice*
She did have a sister, I’m jus sayin….
@Saule Wright,
*mort.
no further comment your honor.
For me I think the biggest sign was probably the restraining order. That was when I could start to tell that maybe she wasn’t the one.
When she got married to someone else 3 weeks before… I just took that as her playing a little hard to get. You know… women and their cat and mouse games. Hahaha
@Brettandthecity, Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
@Brettandthecity,
yeah. restraining orders usually have a way of deading foreplay
Well, let’s see.
1. You work for Mossad, and he works for Al-Qaidia.
2. You go to Obama rallies, and he goes to Tea Parties. No, wait, y’all can at least be at the same place at the same time and have a lot to talk about afterwards.
3. You have a pet rabbit that runs around the house, and he has a pit bull.
4. You haven’t paid your taxes in years, he’s employed by the IRS.
5. You’re alive, and he’s dead.
@Kit (Letters To A Young Sista)
Dead at Mossad vs.Al-Qaeda…and all the other ones.
I dated a guy who worked for Al-Jazeera (the Arab CNN) while working for an organisation involved with Israel. We were cool, one of my co-workers was mad , then later revealed politics had nothing to do with it, he just wanted in too.*kanyeshrug*
@Kit (Letters To A Young Sista),
5. You’re alive, and he’s dead.
dont knock necro unless you’ve tried it
if one person is really kinda private and values his professional career and therefore is resistant to public drama and the other believes in using her girlfriends/homies as sounding boards for yall relationship problems…. and is quick to blackout in public settings……this is not compatible with life or relationships…..this is dead
@Blacklaw,
Co-signage. I’ve seen this lead to many of arguments that lead to many of break-ups.
If you ready to get busy five times a night and your partner is ready to get busy five times a WEEK ummm you ain’t compatible…
@Da Iceman,
chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch
i co-sign #3! totally immature and superduperficial like but it is what it is!
i dunno if this falls under the category of give&take but when ur the one doing all the initiating of anything! i was kinda seeing some1 for a couple of months & got so tired of being the one to pick the romantic dining spot, scheduling cultural enriching events (plays/concerts) even being the 1st to tug at his jeans! All The Time.
when i had to even do the whole romancing “let’s picnic by that gorgeous lake out of town before the flower farms kill it with all their toxins!” it finally occured to me that am might as well be dating meself, summamagun!
@georgie,
“the 1st to tug at his jeans”
this actually was the original title for the new bad girls club spin off until the bravo people thought it would confuse too many people
I think Grace Jones is hot. And I’m a straight woman.
@catintherain, Yeah, Grace was like that! She’s just older now..but, back in her hey day, she was no slouch.
@catintherain,
Yes, Grace Jones has killed it repeatedly. ‘Nuff respect!
If one person really wants to have kids and the other really doesn’t. Some one’s going to end up resenting the other (and their children, if that’s the route) in the end. I’ve seen couples like this and it’s an all bad situation.
@BSQUARED86,
Some one’s going to end up resenting the other (and their children, if that’s the route) in the end.
***nodding head***
@BSQUARED86,
*mad i didn’t think of this first because it is DEFINATELY true.
My categories of incompatibility in relationships:
The missionary hookup: Two different religions (if any at all). But one’s trying to convert the other to a new faith or better way of life. So I’m over here reciting Psalms 23 and Ezekiel 25:17 and singing “G-Sus on the mainline” on my way the “chuch” and dude’s on his way to the mosque for prayer to recite the Quran. *Besides, on occasion…I still enjoy the taste of a nice, thick, juicy “poke chop sammich.”
The exotica hookup: You’re so fascinated with how different folks are racially, culturally and ethnically and equate that with being “better”…while you can find no real concrete reason for such infatuation, other than its appeal. Naw…not necessarily better…just different. Relationships are a challenge within themselves, but you’ve just added to the boatload. ***an ex comes to mind when he announced he’s on the lookout for a Samoan chick for no other reason than well…her being Samoan.*** Lawd, help him. Smh
The ultimate sacrifice hookup: Where one truly believes they can save the other from themselves physically, emotionally and even mentally. The relationship solely exist on one person constantly being the “protector” and the one who’s willing to take the fall for their SO’s funk-ups. It lacks balance and stability. Let the mutha funucka stand on his/her own two feet. The caregiver role is so played out, unless its for a young child or the elderly. Not for an able-bodied fully grown mofo.
The rebel hookup: Typical story, shyt you see in the movies and read in the magazine and occasionally your local newspaper. Good girl/bad boy love affair. Different side of the tracks turned dynamic duo. Ya ride or die…modern day Bonnie n’ Clyde….and you see how them mofos ended. I can’t foresee a real future, yet alone a foundation built on something like this, cuz If you aren’t on some “We finna die, TOGETHA” type ish, you’re in the wrong field, cuz it isn’t for everybody.
***I occasionally have visions dancing in my head, but its more like: The man has been there, done that and schoolin’ some of the younger and dumber cats. He’s a warrior, got heart and was ready to wage his life for what he believed, except now he’s actually got somethin’ (perhaps someone as well) to live for…so now he’s “fighting” for what’s still alive.***
And of course, also categories of family upbringing/class, Intellectual, personal character/attitude and (of course) sexual incompatibility works against instead of for the relationship with a lot of folks.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
I’m with Sula….you need a show!
@Saule Wright,
What? What I do? LoL
But yeah, I caught Sula’s post yesterday…
And ironically, I don’t particularly care for talk shows…and that goes for reality, court tv, lifetime and oxygen. They all have the same thing in common: shock and awe.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
That’s why we need you!! A Fresh voice!
Now you need to think about it!
@Sula/Saule,
Awwww ya’ll…So that’s what you two meant? I’m so touched. lol
But no really, thanks for the welcome & encouragement.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
The exotica hookup: You’re so fascinated with how different folks are racially, culturally and ethnically and equate that with being “better”…while you can find no real concrete reason for such infatuation, other than its appeal. Naw…not necessarily better…just different. Relationships are a challenge within themselves, but you’ve just added to the boatload. ***an ex comes to mind when he announced he’s on the lookout for a Samoan chick for no other reason than well…her being Samoan.*** Lawd, help him. Smh
great point and sh*t. its amazing how many people get gamed by “different” game that works just because someone happens to be “different”.
@The Champ,
Exactly.
…like I’ve said before, no one’s exempt. It’s a gamble.
Like lotto, you gotta play to win.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
where’s your blog!?! hilarious.
@RocktheCatbox,
…good question.
Surprisingly, I haven’t created one yet. Besides, I like reading/contributing to other folks’ forum(s). Plus, you all are hilarious! LOL
I’ve been told that I should consider, but I actually have enough going on in my world right now.
1. If one party has that ignorant sense of humor while the other finds Chappelle Show and
VSBoffensive.2. One is into Black Power, doubies, and dashikis and the other is all about the white man hair products.
3. She loves to shop, he likes to wear her clothes.
@JumpOnIt,
One is into Black Power, doubies, and dashikis and the other is all about the white man hair products.
…my three dashiki wearing, the man hating male friends are married to white women.
3. She loves to shop, he likes to wear her clothes.
Ahhhh memories….
I STRIKED!! Messed it up but I did it!
(going back in my corner now)
@JumpOnIt,
who let you out of the corner in the first place?
If you have mixed allegiances. Example? Sure.
Like if your SO went to your arch rival university and every football, basketball, baseball, track and field etc.season you guys stop talking.
Or if you have radically different literary tastes. As in one person has elementary tastes (no Dr. Seuss, he’s still the homie) and is content to stay there, while the other one reads like a fiend.
If his sense of adventure is heading to a different restaurant and yours is hiking in the Himalayas, y’all might not make it.
Not to say that these can’t be overcome, but it’ll be a long and winding road…
@KayBeezy,
“but it’ll be a long and winding road…”
…and some of them ^^^ never turn (going by the divorce rate)
* She dates with hopes of pursuing marriage in the future, while he’s a serial dater (well that can obviously go both ways)
* He’s a fitness/personal trainer who’s active, eats healthy and maintains a healthy weight, while on the other hand, she can’t wait to eat and the ONLY form a exercise she will consider is vigorous sex.
* He’s frugal and she spends $$$ unnecessarily…(and they both thought that would change). HA!
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
“ONLY form a exercise she will consider is vigorous sex” – hey! they told me it burns a lot of calories!! lol.
@Keisha Brown,
It does and feels good the whole time (if done properly…I know you know this…lol)
But who’s going to want to lay the pipe down on that, if she can’t even discipline herself on how NOT to “eat her feelings”…cuz once a twinkie comes poppin’ out from between her legs and all those hoagies she’s been inhaling starts seeping through her pours, smelling like genoa salami….her ass is done. Spraying her down with Febreze before he can get the goods, will get old real quick.
Remember we’re speaking on the signs of incompatibility: Health conscious eater -vs- “A glutton”
just sayin’…
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
“starts seeping through her pours”
pours??? Smh @ myself. Its pores…I desperately need a nap.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
* He’s frugal and she spends $$$ unnecessarily…(and they both thought that would change). HA!
This one is so very important… It can even be different buying/purchasing styles: rational buyer (with spreadsheets and all that jazz… #dontjudgeme) and emotional buyer (who will order pizza because there was a great commercial 5 mns ago)… It’s no bueno… it can be worked through.. but it takes a lot.
@Sula,
Yes, and A LOT of patience too, if s/he is up to it. But I understand this is a microwave society and taking grown folks by the hand because they lack self discipline when it comes to saving for their future…it can be done. But those old habits tend to die the hardest, don’t they?
One person person wants to eventually get married the other can’t picture themselves married.
Like this post.
If one of you believes that the Bible is a bunch of fairy tales..and the other is a devout Christian.
If one of you hates kids, and the other loves kids.
If one of you believes in polygamy and the other monogamy.
If one of you loves to celebrate holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc…and the other one doesn’t.
If one of you likes to club hop and the other likes to museum hop.
That is all for now.
Oh yeah, this list is pretty much spot on.
This post was like musical mad libs today…I likes!
“what are some other signs that you and your mate just aren’t compatible with one another?”
To piggyback off of yesterday’s post. if your SO is a prude and you’re “adventurous”, not.gonna.work.
I said just the other day that there are 3 things that are sure to wreak havoc on a relationship and those are being on the opposite sides of the fence when it comes to finances, child rearing and sex.
If you cannot agree on those you probably shouldn’t be wasting each other’s time.
And I agree with you have to be able to hold meaningful conversation.
Why do these topics come up that remind me of my last bad relationship that ended years ago? I need a girlfriend that will leave me with more positives than the last one.
Signs that you may not be compatible.
1) If your parents are educated and socially or politically aware and her family consists of blue collar southern expats and 1st generation northeners.
2) If you come from a 2 parent home where your mother was independent and she comes from a home where the father was the breadwinner and assumed responsibility for every adult woman’s well being. Or her grandmother teaches her that she shouldn’t give a man anything or she should have one hand in her pocket and the other hand in his.
3) If I watch the news, PBS, LinkTV, Discovery, etc. and you watch 106 and Park. It’s even more incompatible when I bring the subject up and you defend watching 106 even though you are older than me and a “professional”.
4) If you are a laid back easy going type of person and she needs to be checked and put in place on a regular basis.
@Humble_One,
“Or her grandmother teaches her that she shouldn’t give a man anything or she should have one hand in her pocket and the other hand in his.”
Damn! Just damn!
@Humble_One,
wait. so you wouldn’t date a woman whose parents were blue collar?
@Muze,
“wait. so you wouldn’t date a woman whose parents were blue collar?”
Yes I would. I use to be in skilled trades so my background is blue collar. My father and grandfather were blue collar at one time. When I said “blue collar southern expats and 1st generation northeners” I was referring to basically a difference in people. I have noticed that in this city there is sometimes a difference between the people who came to Detroit within the past 30-40 years just for a job and their children which are the current 1st generation northerners. I had an experience with the ex that kind of solidified this theory to me. She called my family and friends of my family “bougie”. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this. I went to private school and have around the Sherwood Forest, Palmer Woods, Southfield, etc. crowd so I know “bougie”. We are not bougie. The problem is that the bougie statement always come from people who play horseshoes, BBQ everyday, and wear orange or purple suits.
@Humble_One, see this right here is a fear of mine. I’ve always tried to keep my family separate from my relationships, but it’s not always possible. I can definitely imagine meeting the perfect man (for me) and having a near perfect relationship, just to have him leave over my family. I know that logically I should know that if he would do that then he really wasn’t perfect; but too be honest, I wouldn’t even be able to completely blame him. It would really be his loss, but it’s a little fear I have deep down.
@Humble_One,
“We are not bougie. The problem is that the bougie statement always come from people who play horseshoes, BBQ everyday, and wear orange or purple suits”
iDied.
@Humble_One,
“I need a girlfriend that will leave me with more positives than the last one.”
Reread this sentence, especially the first 8 words. So just why do your girlfriends do this? (smile)
P.S.= Is it okay to still respond to your posts? Seeing that my parents would be considered “blue collar” AND southern. I’m just sayin’.
@Ivyette,
“So just why do your girlfriends do this? (smile)”
I only had one girlfriend do that to me. That ended a few years ago.
“P.S.= Is it okay to still respond to your posts? Seeing that my parents would be considered “blue collar” AND southern. I’m just sayin’.”
LOL. Yeah it’s still cool. I think my comment came out wrong on the computer. Like I said before I use to be a blue-collar worker and my grandparents are from the South. In matter of fact I was working on my car this weekend. I think you would have to understand Detroit to see where I am coming from. You are always welcome to respond to my posts.
@Humble_One,
Dis right here. That number 4, I have actually seen played out many times. She’s trying to bait her man into cussing her out/beating her with his size 11s/body slam her to the concrete so they can break up to make up. Wait a minute… was that you? BP parking lot on 12 mile?
LOL. I know the bougie stuff is irksome, but I discovered certain Detroiters just CAN’T help themselves! It’s not that you’re bougie, it’s that they’re so damn provincial. Working class, bougie and rich people still work every damn day for their money, it’s wealthy people whose money works for them, and who think talking about money is vulgar. Being mesmerized by flashiness and fakery is the essence of Detroit, nobody knows what it is to be wealthy but everybody wants to look rich.
@RocktheCatbox,
“Wait a minute… was that you? BP parking lot on 12 mile?”
LOL. Nah that wasn’t me. I don’t hit women. Maybe it was Chris Brown?
“LOL. I know the bougie stuff is irksome, but I discovered certain Detroiters just CAN’T help themselves! It’s not that you’re bougie, it’s that they’re so damn provincial. Working class, bougie and rich people still work every damn day for their money, it’s wealthy people whose money works for them, and who think talking about money is vulgar. Being mesmerized by flashiness and fakery is the essence of Detroit, nobody knows what it is to be wealthy but everybody wants to look rich.”
Cosign 100%. I wish I could explain what I said better. There are a few stories I could tell you that would better explain where I’m coming from. It’s not just blue-collar workers that have this mentality. Some people act as if they grew up in the backwoods and not one of the largest cities in the country. I can’t believe you said “provincial”. My brother and I use that word. He put me up on it.
@Humble_One,
Oh, no he didn’t hit her, he stayed calm and had that eye twitch that said any minute now…she was trying her damndest to get him to do it, I hope she failed and I hope he dumped her, lol.
LOL I don’t know where I first started using the word to describe some of these folks. why would you ever want to leave your neighborhood? why would you travel? Maybe this is just more middle America because it’s not just the black folks. I noticed the same thing with italians from new jersey and staten island who hate going to manhattan. If the jersey shore knew the word bougie they’d use it!
@Humble_One,
“3) If I watch the news, PBS, LinkTV, Discovery, etc. and you watch 106 and Park. It’s even more incompatible when I bring the subject up and you defend watching 106 even though you are older than me and a “professional”.”
^Doesn’t mean you all are not compatible. She might read and get her information from other outlets and not from TV, or ya’ll just might like some different shows. Now, if she actin’ as if 106 and Park is her ONLY means of information…then I definitely see your point.
Sports Teams/Players:
~If they like the Yankees and you like the Red Sox.
~You pull for Michigan and they pull for Ohio State.
~If they like South Carolina and you like Clemson (regionally this is a hotbed of hate.)
~You like Floyd Mayweather and they like every other fighter but Floyd Mayweather.
Music
~If they listen to all black music and you have a more diverse musical palate. This could make for a sh*tty car trip.
Cuisine
~If you’re open to trying new foods and new eateries and they are all about the Applebee’s riblet platter.
Life
You may be a Blood and your S.O. may be a Latin King or Crip.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
“You may be a Blood and your S.O. may be a Latin King or Crip.”
I hate when that happens. Duece, hea.
@Saule Wright,
Yeah man. Other than that b*tch-a** set she roled with she was a cool broad.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., I meanted rolled.
4. One person is extremely sensitive and the other person has the comedic timing and chutzpah of Chris Rock.
*almost spits cereal out laughing*
Two people are not compatilble if no one ever seems to acknowledge the two as a couple. U cantell whe two people are together. Or at least thats how it should be.
Disclaimer: Everyone is not Jay-Z and Beyonce and sh*t….thats all
Also if you two are in two different places developmentally. Like one person just graduated early 20s and still wants to do the whole vagabondhippie travel the world thing and the other is knock, knock, knockin’ on mid-thirties…Not to say that age differences are terribly important, but if one person is talking about being stable and building a life and the other about booking a flight…might don’t make it.
I got a couple more to add.
5) If she wants to take the idck whenever she wants it but regulate when you can get some from her.
6) If you aren’t OCD and she is
7) If she asks you “Why do you leave me so free ?” and you don’t believe in handcuffing women.
@Humble_One,
#7 …if you are Teena Marie and think Rick James, a basement radiator and crack can’t be all that bad.
@RocktheCatbox,
LMAO. You got me over here cheesing trying to hold my laugh in. I guess if she needs a ninja in her face 24/7 it can be addressed.
@Humble_One,
“and you don’t believe in handcuffing women.”
You don’t? Not at all? Not even under certain circumstances? DANG!
Totally speaking from personal experience here ’cause I know many are able to make it work, but if there’s a significant age difference, we may not be compatible.
Age doesn’t necessarily equate to maturity, but much younger women and I don’t always click. I’m wise in mind, young at heart, and so oldschool. A lot of young chicks think they know EVERYTHING when they don’t and they try to act more mature and older than they really are. Being that I’ll call you on your shullbit no matter how attractive you are has caused problems.
Also, it might be an issue if I know Queen Latifah as a rapper and you only know her as an actress, I know the “Raw” Eddie Murphy and all you know is the kids’ movie Eddie Murphy, or you hated both Pres. George Bush’s but you only know about the last one.
@Monk,
“Age doesn’t necessarily equate to maturity, but much younger women and I don’t always click. I’m wise in mind, young at heart, and so oldschool. A lot of young chicks think they know EVERYTHING when they don’t and they try to act more mature and older than they really are. Being that I’ll call you on your shullbit no matter how attractive you are has caused problems.”
While I agree with you, age does not necessarily equate to being fully seasoned because its equally disappointing watching some of the old cats attempts at dressing, speaking…or behaving like the younger generation. The word swag makes me cringe a little due to it being so overrated, so when I hear an old fart refer to it…it makes my ears bleed…and even more disappointing when Uncle Rufus calls himself trying to teach you something and he’s still stuck back in the time machine in the year 1964.
Oh and what’s this much younger age group/range you’re referencing? Just curious.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
I totally agree that adults (I hate the phrases “grown ass man” and “grown ass woman”…those are usually said by younger people trying to convince someone they’re grown) should dress and speak as such. One can (as I am) be youthful at heart, but not carry themself as a teenager.
When I was 31, I dated a couple of women who were in their early 20′s. I wasn’t stimulated enough mentally by the conversation so I didn’t work. Before then, I dated (and had lengthy relationship with one) a couple of women who were 3 to 4 years older, and we didn’t have those same communication issues. My lady now will be 31 in a couple of months (I’m 33) and the communication is great. For me, I think dating someone almost a decade younger just didn’t work.
@Monk,
“One can (as I am) be youthful at heart, but not carry themself as a teenager.”
This is an excellent point and what I would have eluded to…some women as well.
I refer to the much older cats trapped in the minds of teenage boys as those who have come down with the case of the Peter Pan syndrome.
And kudos to you and your lady. For a minute, I thought don’t tell me this dude is 40+ and (based on your calculations) lost hope in those in their late 20′s/early 30′s…but given some of “today’s” examples, I can see your point.
@Monk,
…and when I say Uncle Rufus is stuck back in time, don’t get me wrong…a lot of the ways of the old school crew NEEDS to come back. I’m simply saying….some older folks are stuck back in their younger days and refuse to “grow” mentally…their actions are equivalent of a 21 yr old, but they demand respect….complaining about the young people today but takes no part in owning up that they too, are a part of a group of people who failed to lead by example…b/c we all know it goes beyond parenting. Young people are extremely impressionable and sometimes even the ones who know better…were raised better have a hard time listening/taking their own parents advice, but would rather go with what they see on the streets or someone else’s family.
I know I’ve ventured to another avenue, so excuse me as I detour back to the original topic….
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
For the most part, we’re on the same page here. I call myself a “youth advocate” because in my circle of friends and even when speaking to older adults (such as my parents), I’m quick to point out the contradictions in what they say and do. When they talk about how silly some musicians and people dress today, I make sure to remind them of Parliament/Funkadelic’s outlandish wardrobe and the tacky, overly flashy and loud items they used to wear. Instead of being cynical towards the younger generation, be a fuggin’ adult and help lead them…that’s what adults are supposed to do. When adullts are cndescending towards the younger generation without acknowledging how they failed in many ways and don’t offer to help in any kind of way, I call it “child abuse”.
@Monk,
“…without acknowledging how they failed in many ways and don’t offer to help in any kind of way”
Yeah, leaving so many mentally and/or emotionally handicapped and sometimes psychologically disturbed…and have the nerve to ridicule them after the fact.
If you are a cannibal and your SO is a person. your SO should not expect you to stop eating people, and you should not expect your SO to let you frickasee their left buttcheek. stop trying to work out impossible shit just because you think you want to get married. Miserable marriages mean miserable kids and a shitty life. If you stay with someone you know isnt right for you (because you always know), you are being a spiteful coward. Everyone sees those people who refuse to break up, but work that much harder to exhibit that behavior the other person hates. They work harder on being/doing the shit the other person hates than they work on the actual relationship. Someday that cannibal’s SO is going to wake up missing a chunk of assmeat.
@RocktheCatbox,
“you should not expect your SO to let you frickasee their left buttcheek. ”
“Someday that cannibal’s SO is going to wake up missing a chunk of assmeat.”
A brotha can’t nibble and tenderize a nice, swollen, round buttcheek?
@Humble_One,
Sheeit, hell yeah. If it doesn’t leave a gaping wound, nibble away! Nibble, lick and rub on it. Just don’t PUT rub ON it and toss me in the fryolator. It’s hot in there and bad for the skin.
@RocktheCatbox,
“Sheeit, hell yeah. If it doesn’t leave a gaping wound, nibble away! Nibble, lick and rub on it. Just don’t PUT rub ON it and toss me in the fryolator. It’s hot in there and bad for the skin.”
*makes note of instructions on how to prep RocktheCatbox’s buttcheek*
BWA HAHAHAHA!! this thread has definitely taken an interesting turn.
@RocktheCatbox,
LMAO at assmeat.
…around the holidays, assmeat is called ham…pig’s ass nonetheless.
Different values
Different vision- not aligned
If they don’t make you want to be a better you, the best you.
If you speak vastly diff (love) languages and not willing to learn the others.
In times of challenge, they respond selfishly or not at all.
I got these from the Modern day Matchmaker LOL but hey its good stuff.
@OrangeStar616,
I agree, this is really all there is to it!! When shit hits the fan, people who are inflexible just become douchebag versions of their former selves. My parents, for two. LOL
@RocktheCatbox,
“When shit hits the fan, people who are inflexible just become douchebag versions of their former selves. My parents, for two. LOL”
Sad to say I have seen this in my own family and my own past relationship. I told myself I will try my best to never be like that.
@OrangeStar616, Different values, Different vision- not aligned
BANG! I am at a point in my life where I don’t look at the petty stuff. What are your values and morales? I now look at the big picture and that is do we want the same things? Thats what matters most to me at the end of the day. If not then it was nice knowing you!!
@Natasha, yes thats what I’m saying, its not about the lil things, we can have all that sh*t in common and then some or not….the values/morals + vision being aligned = lifetstyle is what it boils down to………. and if thats not matching up, equally yoked, complimentary, just K.I.M. and save yourself tons of energy, time, grief and wasted emotion etc. I wish I had really known the importance of this ten years ago.
@OrangeStar616, I agree with you 100% sis!
…another sign:
The man would give his left nut for a home-cooked meal, but all she ever wants is the #5 from McDonald’s (and can barely boil a pot of rice). Modern my azz, that’s just sorry.
@Ms. Butta’sWorth,
His dumb ass should save that nut and learn to cook a homecooked meal if he wants it so damn much. Her dumb ass shouldn’t be eating overprocessed food anyway, with her slow metabolism, diabeetus-having ass (cuz if that’s all she been eating for years, you know she looks like Precious right about now).
@RocktheCatbox,
Bwahahahaaaaaaa!!!! Not diabeetus-having?!!! And you wrong gurl for that “Presshus” analogy, but funny as hayo!
Still LOL’d….
You like to work out, his/her’s idea of working out is walking to the fridge
You like to travel, they haven’t been traveled farther than 25 miles outside of their home town
@LaBakir,
“You like to work out, his/her’s idea of working out is walking to the fridge”
This can prove to be a problem. I remember when my ex questioned why I would get up to run at 5:00 in the morning before work.
@Humble_One,
Yeah, man. I’m more of a 5pm person as opposed to 5am, but I still handle my business.
Although last dude was a bit of a jerk…that’s one thing we appreciated about each other. We never tried to get each other to miss workouts…hell sometimes, we’d go together.
@LaBakir,
“Yeah, man. I’m more of a 5pm person as opposed to 5am, but I still handle my business.”
I am more of a 5pm person too. At the time I was trying to do two-a-days. I would run in the morning and do light cardio and weightlifting in the evening.
“Although last dude was a bit of a jerk…that’s one thing we appreciated about each other. We never tried to get each other to miss workouts…hell sometimes, we’d go together.”
It would have been cool if I could have done this with her. She would always ask me to miss a workout to spend time with her. She asked to come to the gym with me but I didn’t think she would be as serious as I am when I’m there so I told her no.
@Humble_One,
I do two-a-days for the most part. After lunch I’ll go for a brisk walk it out and do some lunges on the stairs…gotta keep it light so I don’t start sweating and ish.
After work, I’ll hit the track…and mix up my cardio…bleachers, jump rope, mountain climbs…ish like that. I’ll watch the football players train…do some of their ish. I gotta stay on my push ups though…I despise weight lifting…so I do push ups and resistance bands to keep them in shape.
“She asked to come to the gym with me but I didn’t think she would be as serious as I am when I’m there so I told her no.”
I feel you…that’s why I’m cautious about having my friends work out w/ me. For 1 I like the alone time. 2. Only one of my friend’s has been able to keep up w/ me workout wise. I don’t need any dead weight crying about they can’t do this…or they gotta cramp.
@LaBakir,
“After work, I’ll hit the track…and mix up my cardio…bleachers, jump rope, mountain climbs…ish like that. I’ll watch the football players train…do some of their ish. I gotta stay on my push ups though…I despise weight lifting…so I do push ups and resistance bands to keep them in shape.”
I am trying to get back into two-a-days doing just cardio but it is hard for me to get up in the morning. I am chilling out with the weights for now. I have spent the last 3 years injured off and on. So now I am working with lightweights trying to strengthen my joints before I go back into the weights. It’s frustrating because I can’t go as hard as I want to and am not in the same shape I use to be in.
@LaBakir,
sounds like we have the same attitude towards fitness. i have muscle tone inherently for some reason, and all those years of volleyball have pretty much assured i will be this way well into my late 30s lol, so i refuse to do a pushup at this point. but all other cardio, yesyes. run, i will. i run until i just can’t anymore and prefer outside to the treadmill. ain’t no stopping me and my patna mp3. lol.
…and oooomg i went running with my friend the other day and we literally had to stop every minute and a half. i’ve decided from now on i will only go with her when i’ve already gotten my workout in and just want something to do. lol
@Muze
See…while I’ve always been a “strong”, yet I’ve always had small arms. Even during basketball…volleyball…they’ve always been slim.
So now I try to stay on my upper body strength…my father gets on me “baby girl, you gotta be able to lift your own body weight”. But girl please, I’ll run all day like you said. Up bleachers…through tires…I like ish like that!
Yeah..leave that friend at home! My friend wants to work out w/ me…I said she has to sign a contract and be willing to do whatever I do,lol!
@LaBakir,
Give weight lifting another try. Once upon a time, I hated gyms. I liked all my exercising outside. Being on the treadmill and doing all that walking or running without going anywhere would piss me off. But I found the right gym and got introduced to weight training. Once trainers started telling me to advance and be in the weight room where the guys were, it was a bit intimidating at first, but I enjoy it. I know everything ain’t for everybody, but give it a try if you feel so inclined.
@Humble_One,
@LaBakir,
A 5 a.m workout is a beast. You always feel great for the first part of the day but when 2:30 rolls around things get a little dicey.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
I believe you…but listen…things get dicey for me around 2:30 on a normal basis. A 5am workout and I’d have a lean meaner than a junkie.
I’m not a morning person…so I know if I set out for that to be my routine…I wouldn’t do it. I do workout in the am on the weekends though.
@LaBakir, Early morning workouts on Sat & Sunday are the best. I wish my gym opened earlier on Sunday but I have to wait until noon.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
The not wanting the partner work out to me is the same as the fools who think their partner ought to stop working to spend time with them. Why do people need THAT much attention, that you’d want to risk their fitness and 401k over your needy ass, lol. I’m not talking about working exessive hours, I’m talking a regular 9 to 5, where the other person aint working their damn selves and neither of you are trust fund babies. There is nobody I want to be with that much! negro better hit the plantation 5 days a week and work up a black sweat before you step into this house, and I’m not quitting my job so we can both sit home and stare at each other like a couple of tards.
@RocktheCatbox,
“negro better hit the plantation 5 days a week and work up a black sweat before you step into this house”
I just got a picture in my head of a dude walking to work carrying his lunch in a burlap sack slung over his shoulder.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., DAMN…noon!? That’s late. I don’t go to the gym…I like being outdoors.
@LaBakir,
Yeah, noon! That crap sucks. I like to lift so I don’t have a choice when it comes to the gym. I just avoid the times when all of the cats who are built like members of the Justice League are there. (It’s funny that they are huge, but you never see these cats lift. They just stand there and talk to each other.)
I’m actually trying to find a Krav Magna class that isn’t inhabited by nutjob 2520 dudes.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
LOL @ Justice League! Those are similar to the chicks who come to the track decked out in fresh work out gear *dry face* and then walk…slowly…around the track for all of 15 minutes.
School me…what’s Krav Magna?
@LaBakir,
It’s like Israeli kung fu…their army uses it and it’s effing deadly. If I met a man could do Krav Magna I would give him ALL the drawls.
@LaBakir,
Forgive my spelling, it’s actually Krav Maga. It’s an Israeli martial art used by their military and intelligence services. Police forces and our military have adopted it in the last 15 years or so. Translated from Hebrew it means “close combat”.
There are no rules and no quarter is given. It’s generally not considered a sport like other martial arts because of this. It involves boxing, wrestling, and jiu jitsu but more focus is put on ending scuffles quickly due to the nature of the fighting style.
Great cardio and you get to blow off steam. Sometimes a heavy bag isn’t enough.
@LaBakir,
…a man who is not a crazy 2520 that is…
oh and Muay Thai. That shit is hot.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E., I see! Sounds like something I’d like. My dad actually does jiu jitsu. I often end up being his training partner.
I had a punching bag…I miss it
I love boxing. My roomie and I once took a class…I was actually pretty decent. The trainer wanted me to come back so she could set me up with some matches (eventually)…but the classes were Saturdays in the middle of the day. Not an ideal time for me.
Anywho…when I get my $ up I def plan on taking a class that will allow me to kick somebody’s ass,lol
@LaBakir,
I took Kempo for awhile in college. It was a good workout too.
I just want a class where I can learn and not have to put up with Dan Severn wannabes.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
Lol! Cool! Yeah, man…the last class I took was African Dance. I’d really like some martial arts/boxing stuff…but I’d be hard pressed to find a friend to come w/ me. That’s cool though.
@LaBakir, Workout partners are hard to find these days. All of this adult sh*t just gets in the way.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
True…but some ninjas are just lazy
@LaBakir,
True enough.
@LaBakir,
Checked out your blog. Good sh*t!
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
Thanks!
My fav post is the 1st one about the Jackson 5 song “Maybe Tomorrow”
@LaBakir, I’ll check that one out.
I loved this article!
“I know folks who, on paper, seem like an ideal couple but if you put them together in a room, they have absolutely nothing to say to one another.”
That’s the best sign 2 folks aren’t compatible; but they stay b/c s/he is “the best s/he’s ever had” in the bedroom.
You insist on your boyfriend wearing condoms and your boyfriend insists that he can’t stay hard with them on.
Contrary to what I hoped, It was NOT just a state of mind.
Cue all sorts of mishaps smh. You know what im saying. The one two three strokes and withdraw to get the condom on, which I was NOT comfortable with, but I did as a compromise. It did not work. As soon as that protection went on poof. Boner gone. The final straw was when after 3 fricking strokes, withdrew and unloaded from all the way down there on to my cheek!!! shudder!!!! I felt like I’d been shot or something.
No guy likes condoms but you wear them, especially in a new relationship because its responsible. Shiiiiit, I don’t know where you’ve been!!! I’m not trying to make an irreversible mistake just so it can feel better for you.
@Chemmy,
“The final straw was when after 3 fricking strokes, withdrew and unloaded from all the way down there on to my cheek!!! shudder!!!! I felt like I’d been shot or something.”
LMAO! Man down situation!
@LaBakir,
*Shudders*
He wasnt even embarrassed though. He offered some half assed apology as I washed my face thinking so lesbians had it right the whole damn time SMH
@Chemmy,
This story is so sad.
Dayum homie.
@miss t-lee,
It doesnt get much worse. I hardly moved for fear of scaring the damn thing away. Nightmare!
@Chemmy,
wow. suckstobethatguy.
@Chemmy,
I’m CRYING but not in a good way!!!
@Panama Jackson,
Nothing makes my day like a random Panama cultural reference. So, I must ask
(re: “Datveryboring) is this…Scuttle? (the seagull, Little Mermaid, circa 1989).
–> prepares to scurry away in shame, if incorrect. Good day!
@Penelope,
awww.. i heart little mermaid!!!
@Penelope,
“@Panama Jackson Nothing makes my day like a random Panama cultural reference. So, I must ask…”
“(re: “Datveryboring) is this…Scuttle? (the seagull, Little Mermaid, circa 1989).”
BwaHa BwaHa BwaHaHaHaaaaa! I just noticed this ^^^. I used to love that movie as a little girl.
Scuttle the Seagull: A banded, bulbous snarfblatt. A snarfblatt dates back to when humans would sit around and stare at each other all day. Datveryboring.
LOL. Awww, somebody’s been watching The Little Mermaid with their little one lately?
^^^And it still amazes me how I can remember most of each character’s lines….please don’t judge me. (now covering my face with the palm of my hands)
It’s ill fitting when…
1.You have a hobby that you truly love and pursue. I like to play tennis several times a week and rarely break that date to simply lay up with someone. So when you ask, “Why you always at the court?” I look at you like 0_o. Exception: if there is a special event or something specific you want to do with me
2. You have a strong moral compass and your guy/girl is more like “anything goes” or “what’s the big deal?”
3. If you are timely and the other person is constantly late. Makes me think you have no regard not only for my time, but for the relationship as well. Why knowingly do something that you know aggravates your SO?
@Ivyette,
1) Cosign #1. You are like a female Bo Jackson. Didn’t you say you swim too? I don’t get why people don’t respect stuff like this? If I know it’s your thing I’m not going to ask you to stop for me unless it was something important.
2) I dealt with someone like that Just because something feels good doesn’t mean that it is okay to do it. I try my best to be a stand-up person. I’ve taken quite a few L’s for doing it but at least my karma is good.
@Humble_One,
“1) Cosign #1. You are like a female Bo Jackson. Didn’t you say you swim too?
I enjoy the water, but I would like to think I am a bit more attractive than Bo Jackson.
“I try my best to be a stand-up person. I’ve taken quite a few L’s for doing it but at least my karma is good.”
I’ve been called “goody two shoes”, “church girl”. Yet, I don’t have any of those hard lessons that so many of my peers have. Go figure.
@Ivyette,
“I enjoy the water, but I would like to think I am a bit more attractive than Bo Jackson.”
LOL. I hope you are more attractive than Bo Jackson. I was talking about the multi-sports you are involved in. Bo Jackson was diesel so I hope the different sports have you built more like Serena or Candace Parker and less like Ben Wallace.
@Ivyette,
“I’ve been called “goody two shoes”, “church girl”. Yet, I don’t have any of those hard lessons that so many of my peers have. Go figure.”
Same here. Even though I have wild out a few times. I try to keep my @sshole tax as low as possible.
You are not compatible if:
1. Everyone in your family voted and saw the need to do so and he was in the MILITARY and didn’t see the need to vote and thus had never in his 31 years voted (uhm…if anyone ever had a valid reason, it’s military folk)
2. His family was unstable and kept secrets (like ole boy in school AKA prison for 10 years) and your family is the “put the sh-t on the table” type folk
3. His idea of fun is restaurants and movies every.single.weekend and you like culture, the outdoors and other things that aren’t repetitive.
4. He doesn’t see the need to raise his kids around other black folks and you absolutely do….
Basically I could run down my entire last relationship, but honestly, to sum it up, if your whole outlook on life is different, it bounce before it’s too late. I did and I’m better for it. I hated having to sacrifice substance in order to sustain the relationship. I felt bad for thinking some of the things I thought, but honestly, when he told me he never voted and then proceeded to explain why and think it was funny…and even sad that black folks in general voted, I seriously contemplated leaving then. And looking back…I should have. Time is precious. Get out while you can!
Oh my little lamb of gawd…just happened…
Him: I like Gucci Main la flare and Waka Flacka…Flame.
Me: You like them for real?
Him: Yeah, you don’t?
Seriously! We have nothing in common. We can’t. Hurdle too high to get over, to low to get under…and there is no middle to get stuck in.
@SweetMagnoliaBrown,
“Hurdle too high to get over, to low to get under…and there is no middle to get stuck in.”
*stifled cubicle laughter*
@SweetMagnoliaBrown,
miss t-lee is better than me.. I LOL for REAL with NO shame!!
@Keisha Brown,
They frown upon that type of thing here at Conservative Financial Instituition. Otherwise I would have cackled for real!!!
@SweetMagnoliaBrown,
Nikes laced, pedometer in place, back turned….RUN!
Yeah you’re either a smoker or a drinker. If you’re both you’re probably an alcoholic. Smokers will end up making drinkers alcoholics. & then they’ll get tired of they drunk ssaes.
Her: I don’t think Jay-Z is all that great.
Me: Alright, so who’s better than Jay?
Her: Plies.
Me: *jumps off 610*
There are opinions and then there is just straight sacrilege. Sorry, the moment you try to claim Plies deserves to be on an all-time top ten and that to me, I’m lacing up the Space Jams and will begin to believe I can fly away from you.
@Brando,
agreed! during a first date i had a woman tell me she hates Jay-Z AND Dave Chappelle.
luckily the waiter was slow and we hadn’t ordered food yet.
“check please”
…she didn’t like when i said that
…oh well, i did her a favor in my opinion
p.s. jay is the best to do it, but i still fux w/ plies.
@Carver The Great,
Let me tell you something, I started talking to this guy and I am questioning his sense of humor because he didn’t watch Chappelle Show..
I’m giving him a chance because maybe he didn’t have Comedy Central, but if that isn’t his type of humor… this isn’t going to work..
Shiiiiiiiiiit I was just watching the Black White Supremacist and I laughed like it was the 1st time I was watching it.
just trying out a tagDon’t mind me…carry on.
great post, i want to send this to a babe i used mess with, but that might give her hope
*praying to the internet gods that some random person drops this post in her email, wherever she is.*
amen
I’ll just say this. The first time you look at someone like they are crazy ad out of their mind and you really believe they might be, means you guys are not compatible and you should turn around and run in the other direction…post haste!!!!
i know it might not seem like a big deal.. but i love food too much to be with someone that only wants to eat Chicken tenders and french fries.. nuff said..
the religion thing is HUGE with me.. i need you to be able to submit to God.. the same way you want me to submit to you.. nuff said..
that S*X business?? that’s a big, HUGE deal.. i break up with people that can’t keep me happy.. too small, not often enough.. all dat!!
big, huge donkey problem..
i’m sure there’s more.. but that’s the ones i can think about..