This Election Failed My Daughter » VSB

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This Election Failed My Daughter

Panama Jackson

 

My daughter was born in January of 2009, a week after Barack Obama was sworn into the office of the Presidency. I couldn’t have been happier. Her original due date was January 18, but I wanted SO badly for her to be born after he was inaugurated so that she would be born into a world with a Black person (in this case, man) as president of America. I didn’t know if or how much it would matter, or if he’d even see a second term, all I knew is that I wanted there to be a Black president when my daughter was born.

As luck would have it (though, maybe her mother didn’t feel the same), my daughter, was born on January 27th, 2009, and for the past almost 8 years, all she’s known as a President is Obama. Obviously the post-racial America many hoped for never came to fruition and the country at many times feels further divided than it ever did. But having a Black man in office has, on a psychic level, affected my own household positively. As the days wind down on the most historic presidency to date, I feel in some sense of having taken their time for granted. Either that, or I just wasn’t prepared for how fast the time would fly by. The fact that my daughter will be 8-years-old in January also isn’t lost on me. Her life, to date, has tracked with Obama’s presidency.

I even have a picture of Obama up in my household though not because of some sort of idol worship of 44, but because the picture really is cool as hell. I limited my idols to two Barack and Michelle bobbleheads sitting on my second floor bookshelf.

On this past Tuesday, while a bit nervous, I couldn’t wait to cast my ballot, and for Hillary Clinton. I can’t say that I liked her very much (or any candidate really) but I did like what she represented on a societal and a personal level. And considering the incompetence of the opposition, a symbolic victory would have been just fine. The societal level is obvious: the election of the first woman president would have been another historic event, especially in a world, where patriarchy and sexism run so rampant. So many of us contribute and perpetuate both – and I’m no exception – but I was actually very excited at the prospect of having a woman represent our nation for the first time as its highest elected official.

On a personal level, I REALLY wanted to see a world where (hopefully) for my daughter’s first sixteen years of life, all she would have seen as President were Obama and Hillary Clinton: a Black man and a woman. Two “boxes” (Black and woman) that historically have had the power to hold her back. And yet, here we were, on the brink of a nation that somehow managed to put two separate minority groups into the most powerful position on the planet. Back to back.

I was excited for my daughter as I prepared to take my “I Voted” sticker and hand it to her to show her that with my vote, I was voting her for future and helping break that glass ceiling, effectively telling her there was absolutely NOTHING she couldn’t aspire for and as instead of them being open words, there was some truth to them. The truth would be in the pudding.

And then Tuesday happened. I obviously don’t need to relive that for anybody as I’m aware the pain, disappointment, and despair will carry with many of us for a while. I spent most of yesterday disappointed, texting and emailing friends to check in on them to see how they were doing in light of the results, and processing for myself.

I take my daughter to school every morning. On Wednesday, I picked her up from her mother’s house and when I looked at her, I told her I was “I’m sorry.” And how much I really wanted a world where a woman was President for her. And she told me, “I know, daddy. It’s okay.”

That broke my heart; almost to the point of tears. As I listened to Van Jones dejection on CNN and wonder how we explain this to our kids, my daughter seemed to already know, at 7. I was so excited about what, in my mind at least, a Hillary presidency meant for little girls everywhere that, selfishly, my biggest disappointment was that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to talk about broken glass ceilings with my daughter, even if that ideology is shortsighted in the way that an Obama presidency created a post-racial America.

Knowing the things my daughter will undoubtedly go through in life at the hands of men who don’t even have the wherewithal to know they’re doing it (though some will), knowing what she’ll have to fight for and praying that she doesn’t end up in situations that I’m not even emotionally prepared to think about yet, I felt like this win would enable my daughter to beam with some of that same pride we all did when Obama was elected the first time. It meant something even if it was too soon to know exactly what.

I know that my daughter will do great things and this doesn’t set her back. But I wanted her to know that our country was also ready. And you know what, maybe it is, and Hillary just wasn’t the right person, but we can’t say for sure that we even know. And that’s disappointing.

I wanted to hug my daughter with history on Wednesday morning. Instead, she hugged me with encouragement when I felt like I failed her.

Filed Under:
Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • I don’t see how people even begin to positively compare Michelle to Melina. No darn sense at all.

    • Jennifer

      Which people though?

    • Cleojonz

      It’s the hypocrisy that’s maddening. I don’t have a problem with nudity in the least but these folks were all up in arms calling FLOTUS indecent and classless because she wears sleeveless and strapless dresses and we’ve all seen this woman’s nipples. How is she even remotely on Michelle’s level.

      • grownandsexy2

        Some of them heffas were jealous.

  • -h.h.h.-
    • miss t-lee

      I dig this. Thanks for sharing.

  • brothaskeeper

    You keep being the best father you can be. That your daughter is emotionally mature enough to show remorse and empathy at age 7 is a testament to your patriarchal abilities. Hopefully this election will inspire her to defend our populace from nominating future President Camachos.

  • Asiyah

    I’ve obviously been arguing in the last two days over this from a racial perspective. I won’t continue the internet fighting because it’s exhausting, so I’ll shift gears a bit.

    I was and still am a huge Hilary hater. It had nothing to with her gender and everything to do with politics. She never won me over. Fortunately, I live in a state that overwhelmingly voted for Hilary, so I knew that in spite my own misgivings, she’d win NY by a landslide.

    Despite my personal aversion to her politics, one thing was clear to me: of the two, she had the qualifications to do the job. There wasn’t any denying that. I said this to Todd yesterday and I’ll repeat it here: putting aside my personal feelings about her, it gets to me that this woman worked her butt off for DECADES…only to be beaten by a man who on a whim 16 months ago decided to run for president. That hurt me just about as much as the fact that a man won by promoting true American values: racism, fear, and xenophobia. No matter what a woman does, she will ALWAYS lose to a man. ALWAYS. We have to work so much harder than men, especially when we aren’t white women. God knows if all of those God awful, war hawkish policies she espoused were simply means to this end, and it all blew up in her face. Her political career is over because a man with no qualifications and no experience in politics decided one day that he’s bored so he might as well run for president, right?

    This election proved me right, and contrary to popular belief, I don’t love being right. Often times, I want to be wrong, but I wasn’t in this case.

    • Annalise Keating

      “it gets to me that this woman worked her butt off for DECADES…”
      What positive accomplishments did she achieve during her decades in politics excluding being Secetrary of state when Obama was captured and helping promote SCHIP when she was First Lady? I am honestly asking not saying…
      Should we give A’s for effort or results?

      • Asiyah

        I don’t see any positive accomplishments on her part, hence why I never liked her as a politician. Her work, to me, wasn’t impressive. I’m not going to laud her and act like she did so much or she was a champion of rights. Hilary rode the fence for many years on topics such as abortion, not taking a clear stance until she saw how the mainstream would react. So I won’t hand her an A…but I will admit that she put in work, work that Trump didn’t have to, and that’s what bothers me. Not to mention that even when you look at the 3rd party candidates, Jill Stein campaigned hard and yet it was Gary Johnson, a man who didn’t even know what Aleppo is, who got more votes. It’s Jill Stein who got the “she’s an ignorant anti-vaxxer” treatment while Gary Johnson gets a couple of chuckles for not knowing what Aleppo is.

        • Kas

          But Johnson is male. Think about it and you will get the joke.

        • Chinasa

          Isn’t that what public servants are supposed to do? Act in service of the people who got you in office?

          “Hilary rode the fence for many years on topics such as abortion, not taking a clear stance until she saw how the mainstream would react.”
          Can’t we say the same about Obama…. (esp regarding LGBT/ Immigrant/ TPP/ Police brutality/ reproductive rights….)?

          • Asiyah

            Not when that means you don’t have any real policies or political convictions and only agree or disagree with something just to get votes. You come into politics with a platform already. Do you have to stick to that platform? No. That’s where the will of the people comes in. But to wait to see what everybody else thinks and then say “oh hey guys, me too!” is not having any real convictions. It’s going where the wind blows. No wonder many people weren’t buying what she was selling.

            • NomadaNare

              She was basically Romney in kitten heels and people cannot seem to believe she lost

              • At least Romney had a soul in there. Hillary Clinton didn’t seem to have much of one.

                • cyanic

                  She cries an it ain’t an act.

                • PinkRose

                  See now, I think imma have to put you on team (slightly) misogyny.

                  Your comment has double standard written ALL over it!

                  • This isn’t a misogyny thing as much as a personality thing. Heck, compared to Al Gore, she was Team Warmth. Then again, Hillary Clinton had to win an election that wasn’t rigged for her to win, so there’s that…

                    • esa

                      that’s not soul, it’s charisma. they are ~not~ the same. sociopaths have charisma.

                    • PinkRose

                      I guess I don’t look for “warm and fuzzy” when I’m handling my business. And that in and of itself, is a double standard because I’m expected to be BECAUSE I’m a woman!

                    • Stefanie Kelly

                      Mitt Romney was caught on tape poo-pooing the lower 47% both Black & white, for having less & generally being losers. It was white people realizing that he gave not one eff about them that spectacularly lost him the election. He was not a nice guy. He did not have a soul.

                • Kas

                  Something about if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything

                • tgtaggie

                  I think Romney was a decent person. Just a lousy campaigner and couldn’t connect with ppl. Would I think he would’ve been a good president? Depends on who you ask. But the bs we were dealt Tuesday night. I don’t see it in him.

                  The presidency has a way of humbling even the best ppl. It’s going to do the opposite to trump.

                • Maybe a binder of women would’ve helped.

              • Kitten heels!!! I am done!

            • Madam CJ_Skywalker

              Right, but I feel like for Her, it’s always a lose-lose.
              If she changes her thought on policy, it’s credited to someone else (Bernie/ BLM) pushing her to do so or shes pandering….
              If she doesn’t change her stance at the drop of the dime, then she is unresponsive to the needs of The People.
              I agree with Pink Rose, the standards she’s held too are too high (if also not applied to her competitors)

              • Asiyah

                I agree with your first statement. No denying that she was in a lose-lose.

              • OAN: Your name is epic. Kudos.

              • Diego Duarte

                Actually she WAS being pushed and she WAS pandering. When NY decided to pass the $15 minimum wage, during the primary, she immediately went there to celebrate the passage. Yet on day one after the primary was over, and they were deciding the party platform, she took the $15 minimum wage off the party platform. It wasn’t until her polls tanked that she decided to pay attention and walked that back.

                Same thing with BLM. In the first debate she struggled to say Black Lives Matter. It wasn’t until she was subjected to sinking support that she revisited her thoughts on that.

                The double standard is absolutely real, and there’s no way misogyny didn’t play a part into rejecting Hillary over Trump (a vastly less qualified man or actually a COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED man). But regarding those two instances, I can guarantee that she didn’t adopt those two changes on her own.

            • She was like one of the last to admit the war was a disaster. I think she finally said it in 2014. WTF lady? Can you even change your pants suit w/o checking a poll?

          • Asiyah

            I’ll add this: I do say the same about Obama, which is why I never respected him.

            • NomadaNare

              Please continue to speak life

            • And if you said anything against him, you were a hater or you get “He’s not black people’s president”

              Well who the heII got him office if it wasn’t BLACK PEOPLE? I worked his first campaign, went to the Inaugural ball and Inauguration…2012 came and i was good.. I went with Stein. You got one shot…

          • We surely CAN.

        • !!!!!!!! HRC is a pseudo liberal but really conservative out her ayus white women…. The same women who voted for Trump… Imagine that?

          • Asiyah

            We are often betrayed by our very own. I hope Hilary learned that lesson.

        • Junegirl627

          I like Hillary. There are plenty of poor kids with health care because of the work she did as first lady. She was stronger on Russia than Kerry. She put the bill forward for 9/11 support. She has been in constant communication trying to get Washington to help with flint. She was the only politician talking about flint she was on the ground about that one before Bernie. As senator she pushed for first responder aide from congress and she supported bills for katrina. but everybody hates her because she doesn’t smile and she’d rather wear a pantsuit than a prada dress so…..

          • Asiyah

            I don’t dislike her because she doesn’t smile. Come on now. I do hate that argument that “she should be softer” because we don’t ask this of men (well, I do, but not the majority)

            • I actually could’ve rolled with her if she went full on battle axe. At least that would’ve been genuine.

              Uncle Powell told us this would happen. Her hubris would get the best of her and she’d fuck things up. Always listen to your uncle.

          • Annalise Keating

            ” There are plenty of poor kids with health care because of the work she did as first lady.”
            Kennedy wrote the bill, Kennedy and Hatch sponsored the bill. Hilary helped promote it. I am not trying to downplay her role. It just hurts me to see the people who did most of the work not get the credit.

            “She was stronger on Russia than Kerry.” What effect has that had diminishing the crazy s*it the Russian is still doing in their country and region? I don’t really see a big difference.

            Some would and have argued that the funding she got for the first responders of 9/11 would have come to them regardless. For the obvious reasons. But I will give her credit for this anyway.

            “She was one of the only politicians talking about Katrina”
            She is very good at talking. But is she as good at getting stuff done?

      • Annalise!!!! Baby! You win!

        • Scorpiogoddess??

          Byeeeeeee!!!!??

    • This is true. As much as we are of one accord with her hawkish tendencies, this has to grind her gears. HAS to. Hillary might not be the best of people, but she’s a human being with feelings.

      • Asiyah

        Her speech should have been defiant:

        “America, you have spoken. You have told me loud and clear that you want to go back to open White Supremacy and open misogyny. I hear you loud and clear.”

        Then again she’s a liberal and I wouldn’t expect that kind of bluntness from her.

        • I don’t think she is as liberal as we think.

          • Asiyah

            Word lol

          • tgtaggie

            Agree. Hillary is more center right than her husband.

            • It was apparent when you saw her speak to black people.. She never looked patient.

              • Kas

                In her defense, one of those times Mary was singing to her.

                • Junegirl627

                  That’s what lost her the election! I blame MJB! It’s the chicken commercial all over again!

                • That was the dumbest ni66a shyt EVAAAAAH!

                  • Mochasister

                    Lol! I refused to watch. Just seeing the picture still was enough for me.

                • Mary

                  Daaaag! But, you right

          • Epsilonicus

            I think Hilary was liberal until she got burned on healthcare in the 90s. Then she moved to the center.

            • Asiyah

              Idk, Eps. I remember seeing a documentary on Bill Clinton when he first ran in 1992 and it said HRC was actually a Republican before marrying Bill.

              • -h.h.h.-

                she was.
                she was raised in a conservative household, her father was an anti-communist.

                Vietnam and helping out during the 1968 RNC made her give up the party

              • Diego Duarte

                Her entire family was Republican and her dad kept trying to pull Bill towards the right.

            • Naw her husband said that she wasn’t…. I will find it.

            • Haleyjesposito

              Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !hu80c:
              On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
              !hu80c:
              ??
              ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash370WebWikiGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!hu80c:….,……..

      • Mary

        Man, this must hurt something terrible.

      • LMNOP

        I was just thinking about this today, I walked by her campaign office closing up and giving away office chairs, I know she didn’t actually work there, and that it would’ve closed now either way, but it was a sad scene.

        Thanks for the chair, Hill.

        • Sweet Ga Brown

          That’s probably the most she has ever done for America that didn’t come with any strings.

      • HoobaStankyLeg

        I felt bad for her. Goodness, I felt bad for her. I also felt bad for all the little girls across the world who know that we are capable of more than simply procreating.

    • Mary Burrell

      Well said.

    • truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      Exactly Sister.

    • grownandsexy2

      “I won’t continue the internet fighting because it’s exhausting”

      Yep, you’ve been fighting the good fight and I thank you for that.

  • cyanic

    Pettiness and apathy from the left are why we’re here now. So many just rejected Hill as stale bread. There’s nothing about an old white Jewish man that seemed radical to me no matter the pipe dream he sold his supporters.

    • Val

      Or maybe she was stale bread.

      • cyanic

        But she leaned to the left to the left.

        • Val

          Only after Bernie forced her to move left.

        • Asiyah

          When did she ever leaned to the left of the left? The most left she ever went was being a centrist or moderate. Let’s not rewrite history, please. Hilary only pandered to the left for a few minutes before realizing that we were never going to back her. And Trump didn’t even bother because he got the point early.

        • Diego Duarte

          Why did she back extreme right wing dictators in Peru and Honduras then? Why did she push for the TPP, the Washington Consensus, NAFTA and the like? No, she was a centrist democrat.

        • Clinton is what Republicans used to be before crazy took over their party.

      • Negro Libre

        Before Trump came to dominate everything, if you had asked the average voter to write a list of all the things they were mad or angry against, a lot of what people would have said would’ve matched up with the demerits with Clinton.

    • Clinton is also old and white so why describe Sanders that way?

      • cyanic

        She’s old and white I was willing to deal with.

    • Asiyah

      Cyanic, why do you keep insisting that people’s rejections of Hilary are unfounded? Yes, plenty of people didn’t vote for her because of misogyny. ABSOLUTELY, but the “pettiness” and “apathy” from the left as you call it is due to her very real and very dangerous foreign policies. There was nothing radical about Bernie from a leftist’s perspective and many of us said that but he was certainly more different than any other candidate out there. It isn’t pettiness or apathy to want a leader who won’t drag us into more wars and who doesn’t bow down to corporations.

      • cyanic

        She’s a woman. She has to play the role of someone tough to be respected by the men despite never being respected by them because she’s a woman. Same difference in black folks encouraging respectability and corporate conformity will solve racism and police brutality and racial profiling it will not.

        • I see your point, but that fits into a lot of legitimate critiques of her. If the only reason you’re being bellicose and hawkish is because that’s what A Successful Woman Politician ™ sounds like, how can I take what she says seriously? Articulate a platform and some beliefs instead of floating with the wind.

          • cyanic

            She and her husband do whatever it takes to present a loose ideal. They know they can deviate at anytime for the sake of appeasing the political consensus. I do believe she genuinely cares about the working class and women.

        • Asiyah

          Nobody is denying that, cyanic, but she went beyond playing the role of someone tough and put millions of lives in danger. Criticize the misogyny that was exhibited by many on the right, absolutely, but stop telling us who aren’t on the right that we are just as misogynistic for simply disagreeing with her. She has a lot of blood on her hands and I don’t care that she’s a woman I will call her out for it.

    • NomadaNare

      Or maybe she literally let her husband jail the twelve or thirteen million black folk that would have gotten her the election

      What was the phrase

      *superpredators* I think

      I dont think anyone is denying misogyny is there but to centralize that erases the literal millions of brown lives she had a hand in or directly destroyed through hubris and reckless ambition

      • cyanic

        Black people still love Slick Willie. Why hate her for pandering to white woman fear?

        • Asiyah

          So then why hate Trump for pandering to white fear?

          • cyanic

            Different era. Different circumstance. The world was actually more conservative when she did so. We’re culturally attempting to move forward when people like Trump say remember the good old days when black and brown people had no agency no say so. Women knew their place. What she did was harmful as F but again pandering in a more restrictive time.

            • Asiyah

              She was still pandering up until election day omg

        • NomadaNare

          I laughed out loud at Slick Willie

          We may or may not like him I have heard both sides and am unsure

          However I bet you he wouldnt get elected in todays climate

          • cyanic

            How can you say he couldn’t after Trump?

            • NomadaNare

              Because he is the quintessential Washington insider

      • I saw that meme. Well, she did it to herself, but that’s on her. No one told her to ride for that mess.

  • TeeChantel

    I have to commend you Peej and the rest of the VSBs that standing up behind black women, both young and old, especially after this week. It seems like everywhere I turn there are black men are either quiet, making sexist jokes, or straight up bashing us. That’s not the case here. YOU are a wonderful father and your daughter is beyond blessed to have someone like you in her life. She will be a much better person because of you, regardless of who sits in office.

  • My daughter took the election harder than me. When she asked me who won, she reacted by saying “he’s a dumb dumb!” I don’t talk politics with her, mostly because I want her to develop her own sense of what’s important. I developed independently of my parents, so I want her to do likewise.

    Ultimately, the lesson is…nothing, really. Hillary Clinton lost. Misogyny was going to be a thing whether she won or loss. It likely would have ramped up during a win. It’s cool to have a woman president, but what I ultimately choose to do is more important. Now to protect her from the Trump era.

    • Asiyah

      This reminded me of the Giuliani vs. Messinger mayoral election of 1997. It got nasty, and Messinger lost badly, never to be heard from again.

      • Annalise Keating

        Just the mention of Gulianis name just
        made me vomit in my mouth. I don’t understand how he won two terms as mayor of NYC. I can’t stand him. The thought of him as attorney general is sickening…

        • TeeChantel

          The nightmare keeps going.

        • The same people who voted for Trump in NYC are Giuliani’s electoral base. A lot of stuff Trump pulled, he learned from Giuliani. Also, Giuliani pandered a LOT to the more conservative segment of the Latin community, which worked until Anthony Baez happened.

          There’s also the fact that Dinkins was both unlucky and $h1tty as a mayor, which made the Democratic Party look bad for a hot minute. Messenger was a nice woman (who I used to see because she was close with a family friend) but there wasn’t much excitement there. She was Hillary Clinton with less corruption.

          • Negro Libre

            I actually think Giuliani is my most hated politician. I even hate him for the underhanded nonsense he pulled against Milken in the 1980’s. And unlike Trump, he has serious machiavellian totalitarian in him. Not to sound racist, but maybe it’s the Italian-Caesar connection?

            • Mary

              Typical narrow-minded Italian working class guy, unfortunately.

        • Asiyah

          I can “understand.” To people like my parents, he “cleaned up New York.” But as I told her, let’s not forget all the police brutality and infringement of civil rights.

          • Annalise Keating

            I am uneasy about this “cleaned up” sterile version of NYC that Giuliani and Bloomberg are responsible for. We all love less crime but part of the reason I love NYC is its grimy, and it had character. Thanks to their cleaning up, NYC is becoming expensive/unaffordable , more and more homogeneous and soulless.

        • grownandsexy2

          I hate Gulliani as much as I do Trump. He’s another racist piece of crap.

    • TeeChantel

      Kids are way smarter than we are sometimes. They can sense danger. They know what danger we are in for now that Trump won the presidency. I’m sorry our children have to live in a world with Trump in the high office.

      • LMNOP

        I have been seeing stories of very young children being victimized by Trump inspired bigotry, like “you’re going to get deported now that Trump is going to be president” etc

        • grownandsexy2

          Some of it started before he became President.

          • LMNOP

            Still a couple months until he becomes President.

    • cyanic

      You just made your job a 100% harder and you two are black.

      • How?

        • cyanic

          Red House and Senate Red Presidency Choosing Red for the Supreme Court. A lot of backwards stuff is going to occur. Believe it or not I see less violence globally from the US arm forces and more so everyone here at each others throats.

  • Lolo

    I have been physically, emotionally, and spiritually dejected and drained. I, and many close to me, are experiencing an existential crisis. My being as a black woman and daughter of Haitian immigrants is not in line with what is at the core of this black hole of a nation. A nation built on the backs of brown and black peoples, a nation that has exported this delusional Anglo-Saxon exceptionalism under the guise of democracy, a nation that is rooted in manifest destiny doctrines…
    The thing is I knew this. Many of you here are too damn smart for your own good and knew this too. Still, I had truly felt that we were dismantling these notions. I truly believed that we were that much closer to a time and place where I could be a little more of myself, no matter the setting in this land. I have now dropped the “American” from “Haitian-American”. I feel nothing for this term now. And the sad thing is that it would probably be better if I were angry at the sight of the term, but I am numb to it. The shock, as if I were drowned in ice, has numbed me.
    I have been talking with my boyfriend of two years and have been devising plans after graduation. These plans have developed into google searches for visas. The same goes for most of my family at this point. For many of us at this point, it’s a) be deported or b) leave on your own accord. When I think of my future and national identity as a function of identity, I cannot fathom the possibility of raising young black men and women in a land that despises them from birth. Maybe my sentiments will shift but for now, I truly don’t know anymore.
    My mother said two things last night “This has always been. Donald Trump is very American. He is the true American Dream.”
    “Watch out for White Americans, especially. Remember what I’ve said. They may smile in your face and laugh at your jokes. They might even help you out every now again. But the first thing and only thing they see is that you’re a black woman.”

    • grownandsexy2

      “Watch out for White Americans, especially. Remember what I’ve said. They may smile in your face and laugh at your jokes. They might even help you out every now again. But the first thing and only thing they see is that you’re a black woman.”

      Imma leave you with this gem I found:

      An Open Letter to People of Color:

      Please do not trust white people.

      Every single one of us is racist, it’s something we were born and raised into, we were and are consistently indoctrinated into white supremacy.

      Indifference and apathy towards systemic racism and it’s horrific results is not just more comfortable, it is incentivized; we are actively rewarded by white supremacy in it’s many forms for ignoring people of color and their cries for injustice.

      Our bones are riddled with it, it’s everywhere.

      We were taught the the history of our nation through textbooks written by white men with a vested interest in how the story was and is being told.

      So we think that MLK Jr is the patron saint of polite black folks (to be invoked against the angry ones), peanut butter is the extent of black excellence, and according to the newest textbooks, slaves were just unpaid interns.

      We were brought up being given medicine designed for us by white men, men who historically tortured black women and murdered black babies to found gynecology, men who performed surgeries on black people without any anesthesia and no precautions because it was believe that black people can not feel pain.

      And you wonder why we do not sympathize when black children are gunned down by police?

      Nothing stopped, the framework of systemic racism just keeps getting dressed differently, yesterday’s fire hoses and attack dogs are today’s cultural appropriation, tone policing and respectability politics.

      We are the ones who committed genocide, stole this land, and now, generations later, think it’s cool to dress up like the folks we massacred.

      We’re the ones making fun of people who can’t speak “perfect” English, we’re the ones who’ve come up with every single racial slur used in this country.

      We’re so much more concerned about you questioning us, telling us no or calling us out than we are what you’re actually experiencing at our hands.

      We will spent countless hours just poking at you, trolling you just to prove you’re this less intellectual, overly emotional animal, to get you to fail a standard we set for you without ever clueing you in on it.

      We are the ones who built this country on the blood, the bodies and the backs of people of color and then built Mt Rushmore, statues, monuments to white men.

      We rigged the economy, the government and the schools, created the ghettos, set you up for failure and then we blame you for your not pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.

      We are still making you defend yourselves, over and over ad infinitum. We make you defend your personhood, your autonomy, your agency, your decency, your humanity because when you keep minorities on the defensive, when you keep them explaining who they are and justifying their right to life – nothing real ever gets done.

      Even though I’m queer, even though I’m trans, I still get to sit in the “Whites Only” section and I have heard what gets said and I’m begging you, please don’t trust us.

      • FeeFee

        Wow! That’s something else, especially coming from a person who occupies other marginalized groups.

        • grownandsexy2

          But it’s nothing new. I posit that most of us know this. But to see it all front and center . . . . . . . .

        • grownandsexy2

          Yep, but if you think about it, you’re likely already aware of every point made. I was thinking about sending it to the daily paper here for publicaion and watch the howls and screams of denial. lol

  • Since5

    Oh my, this column hurts.

    Yesterday my 84-year-old dad apologized to me, his 52-year-old daughter, after I called him in tears and told how how targeted and unsafe I feel in Trump’s America. Dads never stop wanting to make the world safe for their children, however far out of their control that safety is.

    Bless you, Dads.

  • PinkRose

    As a woman with a career spent in a field dominated by men, I STILL believe that Hillary was held to a SIGNIFICANTLY stricter “presidential quality” standard than ANY man would have been in the same position, with the same set of circumstances.

    And those of us who have had to succeed under these kinds of circumstances, seem to understand this MUCH better than women in fields where women dominate.

    • Asiyah

      Thank you! People focused so much on the emails and wikileaks (rightfully so) but I know that if she was a man it’d be way less of a big deal.

      • YoNastyBunny

        If she were a man, there probably wouldn’t even be a conversation about emails.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        As scandals go, the press gave it far too much attention.

        A lot of the “I’m okay with a racist who has a finger on the button” types who voted for Demon, cited all the corruption on her part.

        It’s false equivalence, because Demon is just as corrupt. Part of his appeal was that he paid politicians for an audience. But he was going to drain the swamp…

        As a generally well read dude, maybe too well read, all I have are mostly informed friends that listen to reason.

        Trump’s people?

        He bragged that he could murder someone in broad daylight and not lost any followers

        It’s like the suicide bombers, how do you reason with someone who’s happy to die and go to paradise?

        • Mary

          All those senators etc do the same with their emails, that’s why none of them spoke up too much. They were afraid the eye of scandal and ruin would find them. They were ducking like Frodo!

    • grownandsexy2

      The double standard is alive and well.

    • RewindingtonMaximus

      It wasn’t just because she was a woman that she was held with such disregard.

      It’s because she was a woman better than most of the men she worked with & against. They couldn’t handle that.

      • grownandsexy2

        Yep, they got to knock you down a few notches.

        • RewindingtonMaximus

          No different than Obama.

          Any time you are the OTHER, they need to put you on their level or otherwise they say the game is rigged & unfair.

          Sounds familiar doesn’t it?

          • grownandsexy2

            She may be “blacker” than Bill. A double whammy. Usually it’s BW who fall under this umbrella. Being black and female.

            • Mary

              Have you seen her brother? He looks like a creole.They keep that boy out of the way from the git to, though he might have some “character” problems too.
              Remember Chelsea before she straightened her hair and teeth? Looked like an octaroon; yeah, Hilary definitely got some blood she isn’t ready to own up to yet!

              • grownandsexy2

                I didn’t mean it like that. See my response to Redwindington. But no, I haven’t seen her brother that I can recall. lol at looked like an octaroon. I remember Chelsea before. They may just have some blood in them. lol.

            • RewindingtonMaximus

              nah she’s not getting that title. she still is behind and has supported many legislations that have crippled the Black community and forced Black women to move ahead of the Black men they were always with.

              • grownandsexy2

                I’m aware of the legislation she supported. Black women suffer from the double whammy, being black and female. Hillary suffers from a whammy of s different sort. Being “better than most of the men she worked with & against” and female. That’s where I’m coming from if that makes any sense. I’m not saying she’s black by any stretch of the imagination, just that like BW she suffers a double whammy, just different.

                • Mary

                  Gotcha, and good point. I think even the maximum bully and mysogynist par excellenceTrump respects her ability ability to go toe-to-toe against any male in the political area in terms of intelligence, experience, and personality. It was wrong of him to be the stumbling block for someone so far beyond him. Had a politician on level with her defeated her, that would have been easier to swallow. Now, that still isn’t to say that the defeat wouldn’t have been largely based on sexism again.

                  • Mary

                    …alongside with being a Clinton, and Wikileaks. Unfortunately, sexism may have played a larger role. And that brings us back to Panama’s concern for his daughter.

                  • grownandsexy2

                    I think he respects her also. Since she was an attorney at some point in her life, you can best believe that she honed her skills in that arena cause a woman definitely has to “roll with the big boys” in that scenario. You either roll with them or they’ll roll right over you. I remember a female attorney early in my career who left the practice of law because she said it was too “cut throat” for her. This was wrong on so many levels. Beyond him indeed.

        • So, it wasn’t the fact that she was a Clinton, it was that she was a “she”…?

          • PinkRose

            Both.

          • grownandsexy2

            Both P.

      • PinkRose

        Don’t forget she was also smarter and better educated.

        I work in a field where everyone is expected to be highly educated and smart, so most of the time, I fly under the radar (unless I’m center stage doing a presentation). So I have a MUCH easier time than ANY female politician who will often work with men who barely finished undergrad. AND Clinton was Ivy Leagued trained and that’s just way TOO much for the average hillbilly representative from Alabama.

        • grownandsexy2

          And sadly, there are some women who won’t vote for her strictly because she’s a woman and emphatically stated as much. They sipped the Kool-Aid that says men are superior. We are our own worst enemy sometimes.

          • PinkRose

            I tell people ALL the time, the biggest torn in my career side has ALWAYS been women.

            • grownandsexy2

              I believe you. How many times have you heard women say they won’t work for a woman. Do they even realize what they’re saying? If they think men are superior, and other women inferior, doesn’t this mean that they think they are inferior as well (Or does this mean every other woman but themselves?) I remember reading something online where it asked what is the greatest threat in the workplace. Someone commented, “women.” I just nodded in agreement.

        • LilMissSideEye

          That “better educated” is a trip.

          I could be wrong, but I feel like this current swing towards anti-intellectualism started when women and blackfolk started outperforming white dudes in terms of academic achievement and higher education enrollment. As soon as we started to get on that tip, as soon as it became a thing we could use to outshine them, it became a thing to deride.

          • PinkRose

            This. Comment. Right. HERE!!!!

          • LMNOP

            I never even noticed that, I thought it was just some bizarre stupidity worship, but this is SO true!

          • TheUnsungStoryteller

            I noticed that too. Main Exhibit A: Abigail Fisher and her consistent fight with UT at Austin

    • Annalise Keating

      I agree with everything you said. I am in a male dominated field. I have and still experience this problem everyday.
      I empathize with Hilary a little bit…but not much. If I am honest, the reason I don’t empathize with her much (besides her political baggage) is because she is white. I feel bad for feeling this way but I saw how much less s*it they had to deal with when I was coming up. Some of the white women even threw me under the bus a few times. So I am kind of resentful. God help my wretched soul!

      • *sits next to you* I gotchu and yo wretched soul.

        • Annalise Keating

          Thanks sis.

    • LMNOP

      Interesting perspective, I work in a low status female dominated field and I think I probably don’t get it in the same way, because to me it looks like Clinton staid winning, despite the fact that she didn’t actually, you know, win.

      But I guess that’s what you’re saying that she was up there with the men, but was literally competing for a job against completely unqualified booboo the fool, and he got the job.

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