Things You’ve Always Wanted To Know About Men And Sex

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Why do you keep putting your sharp and ashy fingers down there?

As most of my friends, family, neighbors, and former concubines know, I’m prone to occasional bouts of unprompted altruism. I ask random white people if they need help with their taxes. I volunteer for blood drives, brain scans, and police photo arrays. I’ve eaten Delta p*ssy. I’ve taken stray cats to Burger King, treating them to fries and Oreo milkshakes. I even smoked a little crack in the summer of 2004 just so I could better understand Shawn Kemp’s plight.

Since this is true, it should come to no surprise that last weekend– with Lady Champ’s “permission” (and by “with Lady Champ’s permission” I mean “Lady Champ had no idea I was doing this”) –  I randomly polled a bunch of women I know, asking them if they had anything they always wanted to know about men and sex.

The best questions (and accompanying answers) are below.

Why is it so difficult for men who just want to f*ck to just come out and say “I just want to f*ck” instead of playing games?

As any half-way decent to decent ballplayer will tell you, attempting to play with someone who clearly can’t play isn’t just an exercise in futility…it’s a threat to your life. Why? Well, basketball’s improvisational nature depends on a certain harmony of movement; an ever shifting equilibrium dependent on each player’s court sense and knowledge of the game.

And, from an offensive player’s perspective, much of what you do is predicated on what you assume the defense will do to stop you. You ball fake because you know it’s going to make the defense shift. You hit your man with an “in and out” — a fake crossover dribble — to set him up for the real crossover you’ll give him the next possession.

Thing is, when you’re playing with someone who doesn’t know what the f*ck they’re doing, all of your moves, basketball knowledge, court sense, and wisdom becomes completely moot. They don’t go for your fakes because they don’t know they’re supposed to go for your fakes, so you’re just as likely to headbutt them and concuss yourself as shake them.

From a sexual standpoint, men and women have the same type of harmony seen in wise ball players. The dating and mating game is built on a complex matrix of timing, desire, libido, and opportunity, and we (men) have spent our entire adult lives learning how to navigate these murky waters. But, these years of accumulated knowledge have left us ill-equipped to face a woman who’s either impervious to the “What do I have to do to trick you into f*cking me?” game or refuses to play it at all. And, rather than read and react, we usually just try to do the same fake crossover moves on all women, even if she’s already proved she just wants to take your ball(s) and run.

Is it really true that sex is the sole motivating factor behind everything men do?

Yes. And by “Yes” I mean, well, “Yes.”

Do guys really want to f*ck every girl in the world?

Yes. The difference between “mo” (“mo” = “male ho”) and guy who’s not a mo is that the guy who’s not a mo just doesn’t act on those desires. But, the desire’s present in all of us, and Weezy truly is a prophet from Mars.

Put it this way. I’m writing this while sitting in a coffee shop a block away from my place, and I can say with all honesty that — if opportunity, society, and Lady Champ allowed this sort of thing — I’d sleep with at least 50% of the women sitting in here. I’m not going to, obviously, but I’d be lying if I said that thought hasn’t crossed my mind. (It would have been 62.5%, but I don’t do Korean lesbians anymore. Too time consuming, and too much pressure.)

After all the porn that men watch, can you tell me why only 5% of you actually know where the clit is?

Wait…what the hell is a clit? Is that the proper medical term for baby hair? The secret ingredient for Bobby Flay’s  guacamole? The store where Christina Hendricks gets her bras? You sure that wasn’t a typo?

Seriously though, on the day 9 out of 10 women can actually point to a diagram of a vagina and tell you exactly where the clit is, you can commence with the clitoral GPS questions. Until then, just be happy that we haven’t mistaken it for a chitlin.

Ladies, you gave us answers last week. Now it’s time for the questions. Can you think of anything else you’ve ever wanted to know about men and sex?

Oh and fellas, don’t wait for me. Please feel free to answer any of the ladies’ queries.

—The Champ

552 thoughts on “Things You’ve Always Wanted To Know About Men And Sex”

    • not all men are clueless about a women’s anatomy. but even the ones that know where certain parts are dont know exactly what to do with those parts.

      like, i can easily identify most things under the hood of my Honda, but that doesnt mean i know how to fix them or address them when they need “tuning up”.

      some men are the same way with our vadges — they just tinker around and hope something gets that engine purring *shrugs*

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      • Which is aggravating… Especially when I have to show him how to do it… Aren’t they supposed to know this shit already? Virgins of course aren’t included in that question.

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        • Well, ladies… every woman is different and every woman wants it her way. Some love to be caressed some like being manhandled. Some like to be licked while others sucked. We start off doing whatever worked on the last chick and if it works we keep doing it. If it doesn’t, we modify it. If that still doesn’t work we try something different. What we’re doing is trying to find out how to please you. Is that really so bad?

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    • Don’t worry! African-American men are much too complex for any one person to try to speak for all of us on any subject under the sun — and since sex is about the most complex subject under the sun, it means that is the subject one is least likely to be able to speak for all of us on. There really are as many orientaions to sex as there are persons – something like fingerprints. The “very smart brotha” should add that to his philosophical and psychological oreientation.

      Still I say to him, and to the nubian princess as well — Write On!! I enjoyed his comments immensely.

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    • We’re just curious…

      …want to see if you’re a current or reformed ho… you might have a sex tape floating around on the internet #WSHH

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      • DQ’s right: we don’t want a current promiscuous girl (altho nelly furtado may get a pass…)

        It doesn’t matter much to some women, but as it has been explained in some former VSB posts: we don’t want the girl who’s been with a lot of guys. (A lot being relative, i might add)

        For some men, that’s a big deal. For some it’s not. If a lot guys can say attest to that spot right under her ear that will drive her crazy, then most guys probably don’t want to carry on a relationship with said women. I mean, who wants to be someone who’s been with a lot of partners? (once again “a lot” being relative)

        Imma be honest: In the same way that women don’t want a man who’s slept with all of heffner’s playboy bunnies, we don’t want a girl who’s gone through all def jam and young money.

        There are actually plenty of reason that we ask about past partners but this is just a start. I’m sure other guys will have things to say as well.

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      • What if she was a reformed ho in another area code and thus you would NEVER come in contact w/ any of her former partners?

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        • In the new ever more connected Twitter, Facebook, blogosphere era… there is no place to hide. With just 2 pieces of information (your first and last name) most people can find out nearly anything about you.

          Nothing short of Skynet becoming self-aware and ushering in the Apocalypse could preclude the possibility that I could never come in contact with any former partners. Hell if you have a $ex tape I don’t even have to meet them for your past to come back and haunt us both.

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          • I kid you not, I have a friend who’s man is upset at the amount of ex-boos that keep hitting her up on facebook. Regardless of the 6 number she gave him, it’s obvious now that she has messed with alot of dudes. I guess it can come back to haunt you.

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        • One day, just before workout. My workout partner comes into my apartment. He notices on my computer screen a fine young lady, as he takes a closer look he says.. “First name Last name” I said ” How the hell you know her?” he says ” I used to mess with her in texas about twelve years back.” V.S.B readers I LIVE AND MET THAT FINE YOUNG LADY IN CALI. I was with her for a year and i had bragged to my workout partner that I have never found anyone who could say they had done anything with her.. soo my point! Area Codes and States can fallow.. but How did i end up working out with one of them? f**ken small world

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      • We’re just curious…

        …want to see if you’re a current or reformed ho… you might have a sex tape floating around on the internet #WSHH

        LOL you dont have to be a “reformed ho” to have a sex tape floating around. i know plenty of women who have made tapes with their SOs — some of whom were their “firsts”

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        • BAM! You know, you make me think about the physical acts that can make a woman a h0e. It’s not necessarily how many men she’s been with but what she’s done right? Well, in that case, I’m a nasty dirty h0e so no man should want me right? lol <— that's a rhetorical question sprinkled with some sarcasm. :)

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        • So Gem what you’re saying is that you have a video library. Cool.

          I’m gonna need a url to where that sex tape is. I promise I won’t tell anyone that it’s you… by the way is it in HD?

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    • It gives us a chance to know your sexual activity and libido. Your expression also let’s us know how you feel about your sexual history. Sexual history is like a carfax report to see how many miles she has on her which can be left open to interpretation to a potential buyer or renter

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      • But how much life she has left in her can very greatly depending on if she’s a Honda with 175000 miles, or a 98 kia sephia with 90k….jussayin.

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    • “Why do men always want to know how many guys a women has had sex with? It’s so annoying.”

      The same reason why you ask for a Carfax on a used car……if you’re a 2007 Mitsubishi Lancer with 100,000 miles and 23 previous owners….there’s a good probability that long term commitment is unlikely. That’s a lot of maintenance…..and depending on how loyal the guy is to the make, model, and year….he might invest.

      Test driving aint a thang, but when you need an oil change (lube…wetness) after 34 mi….eyebrows raise like “is it me?….”

      did the metaphors throw ya off? please advise…

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        • Then you know she’s a hooch and deluded. If you like sex, then the most efficient way (especially for a woman) to get it is on the regular is from a small number of people (1) that you feel comfortable with and who’s performance you are sure about. A high number indicates promiscuity, not a love of the act.

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        • “What if said woman just likes sex and has had multiple partners (25), is STD free, and has no children?”

          “depending on how loyal the guy is to the make, model, and year….he might invest.”
          You might be a great buy simply because he loves your type…..and who you are. At the minimum (as a woman would want it)…just let him use that information to gauge his behavior/approach to you.

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        • Most men do not want a woman who has spread herself out like that. Maybe what you all are getting at is that it’s a hypocritical position. Every man wants to sleep with every woman, but he doesn’t want his woman to have slept with every man.

          You’re right, it’s hypocritical. But it is what it is. From our point of view (whether true or not) a woman who gives herself away to many men, is one we view as not valuing herself. And while we’ll participate in her devaluation (we’ll one night stand the chick who is open to one night stands) – we won’t want to wife her… you’re basically a p0rn star without the video collection…

          #lifeisunfair

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          • So then its safe to say that a man who conciously and actively pursues a h0e is a fool?!? I’m just confrused because one minute I’m seeing an influx of dudes that only want the “good girl” and then there are a slew of dudes who chase down AND WIFE UP the chick that smashed a whole chapter line of men.
            So I guess my question then to men would be… What makes you WANT to turn a h0e into a housewife?!?

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            • @Phidelity15 -“So then its safe to say that a man who conciously and actively pursues a h0e is a fool?!?…So I guess my question then to men would be… What makes you WANT to turn a h0e into a housewife?!?”

              These village idiots you speak of….what town do they reside in because I cannot fathom?

              Anyway, I believe any man that knowingly runs down some common whore with the intentions of courting, or is open to courting, has serious self esteem issues.
              Since this particular woman is relatively easy to ‘get with’, the chance of him being rejected is significantly lower, therefore the risk is lower.
              Additionally, these gents suffer from the mentality women are typically notorious for: the “I think I can change this person” mentality. I believe these guys are driven by the notion that they can curb the whore’s apetite so that she will only be interested and have eyes for them.

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              • Cosign on the self esteem issues. I have a homeboy who found a “situation” on his ol lady’s cell phone recently. He’s still there because he feels he can’t do any better.

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            • Maybe this explains the high divorce rate…I kid, I kid, there are def more nuanced and complex factors that contribute to this.

              Personally, I would never do that and I fail to see the logic in this. But the guys who do this are wrongheaded. There are a lot of great truths in rap and one of them is “Never try to turn a hoe into a housewife.” However, these men pursuing the h00ch; do they know that she’s a h00ch? Maybe their ignorance is the problem.

              If they know she’s been with many and still try to wife her up, well….just watch and see how long that relationship will last, because at some point, he may realize that it’s not cool to have a whole chapter/clique of omegas/football players/average ninjas/used car salesmen talking about how each one of them smashed your chic.

              #nobueno

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            • @Phidelity15 & Mr. SoBo

              These guys that chase down smuts have emotional issues. I tweeted about that this weekend. I have a homeboy doing that same exact thing This chic tells him about all her exploits and he still wants to wife her. he came out and admit that she is wack but he still wants her. The conversation with him was starting to piss me off. I had to change the subject.

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            • “These village idiots you speak of….what town do they reside in because I cannot fathom?”

              @Mr Sobo- In the South, and relocated to the north following said h0e. Sadly this question I asked is based on reality.

              But to all the guys that answered the question you pretty much feel like I do, that dude has other issues going on. I’m glad no one answered that you can’t help who you love…

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      • Great analogy!! I find the numbers argument to be silly. Either tell or don’t tell but you WILL be judged. I have female friends who don’t want to be judged and I find that to be an un-realistic expectation of anyone. I say, keep it to yourself if you don’t want to be judged. And this “reformed h0e” thinking, that’s possible and common. Some just grow out of it so there’s no need to dig up the past HOWEVER many haven’t changed. If I could tell you some of the things I’ve seen married women do when their man wasn’t around. Yeah, alot of people really don’t change so it’s good to want to know what you’re working with but like I said above, good luck getting a real answer. lol

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    • @Passion

      Like the other guys have stated, no man wants to be with a woman that let any and everybody get it. Men know how easy some women give it up. They also see women give it with no discretion. It’s more of a question of you respecting yourself than his insecurity. Although some men do ask b/c they are insecure. A real knows you’ve had partners he just doesn’t want to be with a chic that gave it to any loser breathing. Women should treat men the same way.

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      • @Humble_One – “A real man knows you’ve had partners. He just doesn’t want to be with a chic that gave it to any loser breathing.”

        Bullseye. “Any loser breathing”.
        We would like to know that a woman has some standards, and not that any person born with a pen*s can hit the skins.
        Not to mention, it is a good indicator that said woman is probably adept at “seperating s*x from emotion” which can’t be good, since its also good indicator that being discriminating is not her forte’. Additionally, it speaks to a host of other characteristics as well, such as: her judgement, self worth, self esteem, the role she allows men play in her life, to a degree her own outlook on life, her approach to ‘dating’, the value(or lack thereof) she places on s*x and intimacy.

        But back to the lecture at hand…. regarding “any loser breathing” being able to get it……
        Personally, if faced with a choice: I would choose a woman that has been with 30 doctors, over a woman who that has only been with 15 jigaboos(more commonly known as bum @$$, aint ’bout sh*t n*ggaz).

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        • I would choose a woman that has been with 30 doctors, over a woman who that has only been with 15 jigaboos(more commonly known as bum @$$, aint ’bout sh*t n*ggaz)

          So wait… the status of the men she sleeps with is more important than the number of men she sleeps with? Is that what you’re saying SoBo? And if so, how does sleeping with men of a higher echelon make her <her judgement, self worth, self esteem, the role she allows men play in her life, to a degree her own outlook on life, her approach to ‘dating’, the value(or lack thereof) she places on s*x and intimacy any better than the chick that just slept with a bunch of bum @$$, aint ’bout sh*t n*ggaz (as you put it)? I’m just curious.

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          • Hi Yeah…So.

            “…the status of the men she sleeps with is more important than the number of men she sleeps with?”

            To me, yes it is.
            I can never respect a woman that f*cks with jigaboos. Particularly those women that have quite a few jigaboos on their resume. Why you may ask? Well, it indicates to me that it doesnt take much to appeal to her senses or her loins. Furthermore, it lets me me know assuredly that the woman is a bum b*tch. Cause only a bum b*tch would find bum n*njas appealing.

            “how does sleeping with men of a higher echelon make her <her judgement, self worth, self esteem, etc, etc…she places on s*x and intimacy any better than the chick that just slept with a bunch of bum @$$, aint ’bout sh*t n*ggaz (as you put it)?

            See my answer to your first question. But please keep in mind, as I stated in my first comment, this is the case if I was forced to make a choice between these two extremes with all things being the same.

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            • “Furthermore, it lets me me know assuredly that the woman is a bum b*tch. Cause only a bum b*tch would find bum n*njas appealing.”

              I cosign wholeheartedly

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            • hmmm, well, what if she has 5 docs, 5 esquires, and 10 jigaboos as well, randomly throughout? While I do get your point I will add to this convo that many of these “upper echelon” men, there is a greater tendency for men to depend upon their upper echeloness to appeal to women, foresaking depth, compassion, sense of humore, peersonality and willingness to learn not only where the “button” is but how to push it! So, for arguments sake, what’s to be said about a woman who has been in serious relationships with cream of the crop ninjas, but in early 20s got some thrills with jigaboos who otherwise would nvever be apart of her collective world?

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              • @j.ivy – “So, for arguments sake, what’s to be said about a woman who has been in serious relationships with cream of the crop ninjas, but in early 20s got some thrills with jigaboos who otherwise would nvever be apart of her collective world?”

                First, ‘some thrills’ would need to be clearly defined as this is relative.
                My concerns would still remain the same. However, I would certainly place more weight on the type of relationships she has had in the latter portion of her life as opposed to ones during her youth, because it would show growth.

                Put it this way..regardless of s*xual history or age….. no matter what stage of life she is in, I would like to know whether or not the weed man, or some jailbird n*gga has just as much of the same chance at getting her time as….hmmnn….lets say… someone with ambition and significantly less self-destructive approaches to life.

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        • Not to mention, it is a good indicator that said woman is probably adept at “seperating s*x from emotion” which can’t be good, since its also good indicator that being discriminating is not her forte’. Additionally, it speaks to a host of other characteristics as well, such as: her judgement, self worth, self esteem, the role she allows men play in her life, to a degree her own outlook on life, her approach to ‘dating’, the value(or lack thereof) she places on s*x and intimacy.

          ive made this exact argument many times. its like you have been reading transcripts of my previous convos. GOOMH!

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        • @ Mr SoBo, I soooo agree with you, those are the exact same reasons I would ask a guy i’m dating. I even strangely agree with the whole “doctor” scenario. I would definitely prefer he did not have a long list of previous indiscretions, but if he dated a bunch of strippers & un-educated h*s them…..yeah…keep it moving.

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    • “Why do men always want to know how many guys a women has had sex with? It’s so annoying.”

      In the past I’ve asked this question because it presented a bonding opportunity. Yeah we can talk about all the usual topics that you would discuss with damn near anybody, but if we are potentially moving into the realm of exclusivity, then sh*t becomes personal and so should our topics. At that point we should be able to discuss information that you wouldn’t share with just anyone off the street; we should be able to comfortably step beyond that. How you would react to that question, whether you answered it or not, gave me more insight on your attitude towards the subject matter. That, coupled with whatever else we had discussed or I had observed would give me more background on which to base decisions of whether you were someone I wanted to go forward with or not. If I was already hesitant on us, and you started hemming and hawwing at that question, I may decide we’re better as good friends…especially if it seems like you were trying to hide something or became defensive. Now, while I’d still want to know, I don’t ask. I’d never expect to get an honest answer anyway.

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      • @Cabelleroso – “In the past I’ve asked this question because it presented a bonding opportunity“
        Yo son, this right here, as well as the rest of your comment, is the gospel. Unfortunately, women when faced with this question look at it merely as a means to get all up in her business.
        They do not grasp that an answer(preferably an honest one) is more a demonstration of vunerability, trust and openess. It shows that they are willing to share a big part of themselves with the man in question because that little tid bit and her willingness or lack of willingness to disclose speaks volumes.
        Adding anything to your comment is pointless, as it says everything they[women] need to know. Good summation Cabelleroso.

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      • “Why do men always want to know how many guys a women has had sex with? It’s so annoying.”

        well in essence wouldnt you have to factor in age of lost virginity, current age, serious/casual relationships up until this point. if she’s lost it a little earlier than others and is around 30-35 then her number maybe astounding yet relevant to her experience…no?

        simple remedy, dont ask what you dont want to know. cuz when u tell men/women the truth (some, not all) it may not be received on the best of terms. honesty is key as well as communication. If we can’t be honest about serious issues such as s.ex then what in the world are we doing wasting each others time?

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        • *simple remedy, dont ask what you dont want to know.*

          But if he asks, he does want to know. He just may not like the answer (and yet still needed to know it).

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          • i only say that ’cause im notorious for leaving out the sugar when im in conversation or responding to questions. why sugar coat why lie…if he’s asking he needs to mentally prepare himself for whatever leaves my lips. granted some females lie til the end!…lol

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    • I have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy when it comes to that. I won’t ask a woman, and she doesn’t need to tell me. As long as her test comes back negative, I’m good. With that said, she needs to make sure (as best she can) that her past doesn’t come back to haunt her. Is that fair to her? Maybe, maybe not. That’s just the way I am.

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    • I think it’s better for guys to not ask at all. Ignorance is bliss lol. It’s another thing for a woman to willingly give that info up, but if it means that much to dude, he’s gonna be disappointed no matter the answer (because he doesn’t wanna imagine his chick having chex with other dudes anyway)… the only difference is the levels of disappointment lol (the highest of which being… WTF, deuces).

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      • @Cheekie
        Well, if she didnt feel shame while ‘knotching up’, why does she feel shame acknowledging it? A womans virtue is what is bliss. Ignorance is only blissful to the wilfully ignorant.

        True, men may not enjoy the thoughts of our women being with another man…However, men understand there were other men that came before us. <–Big pun intended. We just wanna know if she crushed a lot. <– see what I did there again? Joe and Pun in combination. lol!

        it is one thing to not know. It is another to not want to know.

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        • “Well, if she didnt feel shame while ‘knotching up’, why does she feel shame acknowledging it? ”

          I didn’t say anything about the woman’s shame, actually. That comment was more for the brotha’s perspective. Usually they lament about not wanting to really know, so the question is… why you ask? lol In fact, some dudes have even said they hope women lie about the number.

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          • some dudes have even said they hope women lie about the number.
            Well thats just downright stupid. I’m not sure why one would would inquire with the HOPE that the person answering lies. Expecting a lie is one thing. HOPING for a lie, is a sign of idiocy.

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          • what about when you are believed to be telling a lie because your number is so low that based on age and date of said cherrypoppin it’s unbelievable. I get turned down because cats don’t believe my number because it is so low…
            #KanyeShrug

            KMN

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            • @KMN – “I get turned down because cats don’t believe my number because it is so low…
              #KanyeShrug “

              Whatever helps you sleep at night.

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              • LMAO you are funny…but seriously do’…

                I was the type of chick that visualized being married at 18 like my mom…got with my first at 17 thought we’d be together forever and realized i was just singin a song. me and him messed around for a while (and I realize that i’m a fool for even dealing with his sorry behind for so long but meh we grow we learn and blah blah blah)…in college i had a one night…had a just chex relationship and that was it. i’m very particular about what goes inside of me…and with all this ish around here i can’t even. So when it comes to men (mind u i am in Milwaukee = coocoocal lol) i don’t want to just lay down with ANYBODY. And I’m not going to subject my body for BS just to have high numbers or good performance or whatevs….i’m selective and i’m an anal virgo (nopun and pun) so my number is low because I do choose for it to be low and when i tell cats that i’m not down for getting it in right away they stop effin with me. But I’m not going to lower my standards for some good.good.

                Guess I answered my own question but didn’t. oh well…ty for you input Mr. SoBo…:)

                KMN

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                • @KMN – “..when i tell cats that i’m not down for getting it in right away they stop effin with me.”
                  And the problem is what exactly? Sounds like things are working out quite favorably for you actually. You’re not playing yourself and wasting valuable coochie juice on these fly by night n*ggaz. So that is good. Many women cant say the same, so continue being discriminating and selective. If you gotta give p*ssy to keep a dood interested/around, then that is not a dude you want around.
                  But you already know this.

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            • ” I get turned down because cats don’t believe my number because it is so low…”

              That sounds skrange KMN! I don’t know where all these dudes are that ask anyway.

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              • I don’t know where all these dudes are that ask anyway.

                My feelings exactly… Who are those dudes going around asking numbers and stuff? It seems a tad immature with a little insecurity sprinkled in…

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  5. Why do men and allegedly some women who love women not keep concentrating on the spot that is obviously causing much pleasure instead of doing something different while attempting to provide cunning linguistics? Inquiring clits want to know.

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    • “Why do men … not keep concentrating on the spot that is obviously causing much pleasure instead of doing something different…?”

      Variety is the spice of life. Different people respond to different techniques differently. Exploration by me is necessary to find out what specifically she responds to best, second best, third best….etc. With that knowledge I can implement gradations of escalation especially since some enjoy the build up. Once I recognize that she is almost at the “O” point, then I stick with whatever I’m doing at that time (the spot obviously causing pleasure as you say). It would be torturous to deviate with a new technique at the last minute and cause her to loose it because then she’s got to start over again to get back to that point. If you’re trying to get back at her for something, are just toying with her, or are just having fun with it, then that’s different. For me it just depends on whether I’m feeling like running a marathon or a sprint.

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    • Because most women would recoil if you just jumped there and stayed there the whole time. Other women like a lot of pressure there. Some only like a little more pressure near climax. I think, no I know women underestimate how different they are sexually from each other.

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  6. its a common belief that men will say anything to get to the sex but what about the things that are said during and after the sex… how much truth is said during those times?

    not counting the difference in depth do the varying sexual positions really feel that different?

    Reply ↓

    • Hear ye, hear ye, be it known on this day the 1st of March in the year of our lord two thousand and eleven, that no utterance made by a man during the act of coitus shall be construed as legally or otherwise binding.

      Reply ↓

    • @Yoles

      Men will say anything during chex and trying to get chex. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again “never underestimate what a man will do for p***y”. The same way conservatives see money is the same way some men see p***y.

      Reply ↓

    • There’s a reason men like go to sleep after sex. If yall would just let us go to sleep afterwards like we feel like doin, yall wouldnt have to worry about half the b.s. we say.

      As for the during part, just stuff a t*tty in the mouth.

      Reply ↓

    • “not counting the difference in depth do the varying sexual positions really feel that different?”

      Yes! Different positions places differing pressures on various areas of our member. Additionally, there is a psychological component from watching you or your lady parts.

      Reply ↓

      • “Additionally, there is a psychological component from watching you or your lady parts.”

        (whistles and claps)….gracefully expressed. I am in agreement with this post. There’s added value to the experience….purely visual.

        Reply ↓

      • Yes! Different positions places differing pressures on various areas of our member.

        Oh really, so I’m curious, what’s the difference in feeling from say missionary, to girl on top, to getting it from the back.

        Reply ↓

        • Unfortunately this is not one of those things that can be easily explained. Consider that your “birth canal” has various textures on the surfaces therein. With me having a slight curve to the left, different positions will allow me to have contact with a differently textured part of your internal anatomy and will cause the head of my soldier to impact a different area of your cervix, in each case, creating a different sensation. Additionally, depending on how your body is proportioned or the specific architecture (shape) or curvature of your canal itself, further added sensations are offered by different positions.

          Reply ↓

        • I think the range and controls of the motion is what differs most. To answer you question, in missionary I have full control, I’m running the show more or less. In other words its time for me to “show off”. Not to be graphic but long strokes are cool in this position because there is not threat of injury. Girl on top means its her time to “hit the stage”. Show what she can do. And IMHO the way girl rides tells me more about how much she is into me sexually than ANYTHING else. Depth is better in this position too. Long strokes can lead to injury for both parties here. (You know what I’m talking about) From the back is more visual. We loves the booty. Anal sex however, at least for me, is not what hot in these streets. Backshots allows us to fully appreciate and utilize a round backside without resorting to cornholing. Also there’s something about doggy thats well…. animalistic. I don’t know about yall but that turns me on. Don’t judge me.

          Reply ↓

          • Maybe it’s a different in leg positioning, but long strokes during missionary can be considered a form of domestic abuse.

            Reply ↓

    • Just think of the first time as a job interview, and you’re the interviewer. Think of every subsequent time as an interview for a promotion. Never trust anyone with a motive.

      I may be breaking man code here, but a man has the most clarity, is at his most sober is immediately after busting a good one. You could ask “what was little Kim thinking” and get the right answer.

      Reply ↓

  7. Why does EVERY male think that he is some sort of sexual Adonis and that all of his “moves” are new and thrilling? Seriously, some of yall SUCK!! Pumping at varying speeds is not a “trick”. Stopping and pulling out for three seconds and getting right back at it is not earth shattering.

    I’m not knocking remedial sex. Hey sometimes you’ve got other stuff to do, but why won’t men sit back and analyze their performance? I’ve mostly had good sexual experiences so this isn’t a bitter rant. My point is that the men with the worst dong throwing skills were the most confident AND the most hesitant to accept advice/criticism in regards to their performance.

    Now, the men that left me smiling or days…..quiet and humble (mostly).

    Reply ↓

      • Nice. Obviously exaggeration is par for the course in such an arena. I’ve yet to meet every male, let alone have a sexual experience with them. In efforts to remain PC and drama free let’s just read “EVERY male” as “MANY males”. That way everyone can remain happy and calm is restored. :-)

        Reply ↓

        • LOL, @ drama and PCness. Red flags aside, reading your post, it just seems like you answer your own question. How come they’re not good? Because they’re not getting any feedback (analyzing their own performance) or not taking any feedback (most hesitant to accept advice/criticism in regards to their performance.)

          But I’m not sure, cause I’ve never had that problem… all my tricks work, my 3 second pull out and variable speed pump are superb. You ain’t neva had a 3 second pull out like mine. Cause I pull out and I just be sitting there for like 3 whole seconds – y’all love that ish.

          Reply ↓

    • Wow. This brings up a serious question that all the women can share on then:

      If pumping at varying speeds is no trick, and pulling out for three seconds is nothing new (wow. those two are bad examples, but we’ll rock with it), what then my fair VSS’s are the techniques that you would qualify as tricks?

      Reply ↓

      • i don’t think good sex comes with tricks per se… PAY ATTENTION…. a woman’s body will tell you all you need to know… is her skin flushed, eyes glazed, heart racing, breath catching, legs shaking, vagina clenching and flooding etc… (pls note that most of the things listed are not faked) notice what she positively responds to and notice what she doesn’t and most likely you will be regarded as a good partner

        Reply ↓

        • Yup, good sex is about reading the body of person your with and responding to it. Certain “tricks” won’t work for everyone so they key is to watch, listen, and feel them. Hopefully they will do the same and it becomes cyclical. If you simply do what worked for the last woman you were with it’s going to be a crapshoot.

          Reply ↓

          • Hmmm the thing about porn is that it’s really made for men so the dudes are dominating the women more than they are pleasing them. So some of that stuff wont fly or at least wont feel great. One thing that I just mentioned in CaribbeanQueen’s post was that it’s always dope when men digitally stimulate the anus during positions..especially doggystyle. It’s not a “trick” but some people are weird about anal contact. It feels great and for some reason allows the woman to be able to “take” more if thats an issue. It really enhances a lot of positions IMO

            Reply ↓

            • NOPE! Nuh unh. Not hood porn. Them ninjas treat p***y like they were Gerald Levert Made to Love It. I love hood porn. Its real. Its good. Its just real good. (<—– And I'm not shamed at all to say this)

              Reply ↓

                • i wrote a very adequate response to this. I got 404′ed. I can not invest that kind of time again.

                  But:
                  -Hood music
                  -no actual set, just a “room”
                  -hood items laying around the room (a chain, baby lotion, and a can of Steele Reserve 211)
                  -Dude is not extra fine, or extra huge, but you can just tell he loves p***y
                  -^HE^ not only still has on his socks (like a lot of guys do in pr0ns) but Timbs, all his jewelry (maybe minus that one chain on the nightstand), and a hat sitting on top of his head that looks like Adebisi
                  -She’s tatted almost as much as he’s tatted
                  -They start to do things that regular pr0ns won’t show ALL the while making sure NOT to mess up her hair o_O

                  You get the point. I NEED not go on.

                  Reply ↓

                • @West

                  I’ma need you to stop hatin on the Steel!! You need to get drunk quick and all you got is $2? Go head on and Steel it up! Don’t be scuurrrd now!

                  Reply ↓

      • The only thing I can say that DOESN’T work on any woman is the refusal to properly warm her a$$ up. Throwin a deuce in the cooch is not a sufficient way to get a woman wet and ready.

        Reply ↓

        • Completely off subject, but when I read your post, I just heard Chris Brown’s “Deuces” start playing in the background and it was like comedic gold to me…

          ,..I don’t know why. *Still laughing*

          Reply ↓

        • Complete co-sign. Rushed or nonexistent foreplay is an automatic fail. It’s even worse if you’re over 25, b/c you should know better.
          I’ll add that loosening the hips and stroking is not a skill that all men have. This is what makes the “island d” so infamous. Those guys know how to gyrate, not just go back and forth. So, in the privacy of your own home, do a little winding to loosen up and practice, then try it on a chick…

          Reply ↓

        • “Throwin a deuce in the cooch is not a sufficient way to get a woman wet and ready.”

          OMG!!!!

          *6 Ft under PushingUpDaises*

          Reply ↓

        • yes, please keep your poorly manicured nails away…

          however, sometimes you don’t want 4play, sometimes just comin in ready, throw coat on floor, toss woman over the couch and get it!

          sometimes…

          Reply ↓

    • LOL, you’ve got me thinking deep thoughts! I’m saying this as humbly as possible, but I’m used to being one of the best in class and at work, so sadly, I’m used to dudes being remedial. It’s no surprise to me that they’re challenged in bed, just another arena to showcase my skills! That Type A kicks into gear, and I’ll fake it til he makes it and act like it was the best thing since the dollar menu. lol, maybe it’s time to stop encouraging them!! #itsnotbrandnew

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vs3vNj2Q5o&feature=related

      Reply ↓

    • “Why does EVERY male think that he is some sort of sexual Adonis and that all of his “moves” are new and thrilling? ”

      Same reason EVERY female believes she is the most beautifulest woman on Earth, but can’t understand why their man finds any other woman remotely attractive…

      “Cuz we got a huge egooooo”

      Reply ↓

      • 2.5 out of females believe this, and ZERO ask why their man is looking (not going, just looking) elsewhere. Who YOU be ’round? Kardashian & Friends?

        Reply ↓

        • my point was that the amount of men that think they are sexual adonis’s are probably equal to the amount of women that can’t believe their men look at other women…

          and it’s all due to the egooooooo lol

          and what can i say, i know some Hot Girls #CashMoneyStyle

          Reply ↓

    • THIS!!! Of course not every. I’ve been lucky in having a good partner but every now and then…and the horror stories from my girls. AND these lame wang throwers are the same ones that want to talk about how “lazy” their girl is. I think it’s because subconciously he knows he’s bad so he’s quick to lay blame on the woman as a diversion.

      Reply ↓

      • usually its always best to just take the first exit available when ppl starting hyping what they can do. all talk and no action is real in all areas of life. ESPECIALLY this one.

        Reply ↓

    • You. You’re the problem. If a dude is strangely disillusion about his abilities in the bedroom and resistant to advice then there is a good chance that this behavior is reflected in other areas in his life. The fact that you were attracted to his comically overconfident attitude and fed him the cookies just reinforces that his behavioral choices are the right ones. Maybe we should put signs on condoms that say “DO NOT FEED THE DIVA DUDES”.

      Reply ↓

    • “the men with the worst dong throwing skills were the most confident AND the most hesitant to accept advice/criticism in regards to their performance.

      Now, the men that left me smiling or days…..quiet and humble (mostly).”

      eggggggggggggg zactly!

      Reply ↓

  8. I volunteer for blood drives, brain scans, and police photo arrays. I’VE EATEN DELTA P*SSY. I’ve taken stray cats to Burger King, treating them to fries and Oreo milkshakes. I even smoked a little crack in the summer of 2004 just so I could better understand Shawn Kemp’s plight.

    It takes talent (and a bit of familiarity) to be able to casually slide that in there and probably half of the regular posters not think twice about it.

    Reply ↓

    • I was just about to post about the delta pu$$y comment. Let me say that I stopped reading after that sentence–mainly because I couldn’t stop laughing at the fact you threw that in there homie–and uh, I had no clue eating delta pu$$y was an act of altruism…

      lmao…i don’t know if i can make it thru the rest of the post

      Reply ↓

    • “I’ve taken stray cats to Burger King, treating them to fries and Oreo milkshakes.”

      ROFL!! On my mind’s projector, I saw The Champ pouring those shakes into little puddles for the kitties and setting out a few fries for each one! Time of death, 12:26am — put me in the pink dress and tell my auntie to sing “I’ll Fly Away.” : D

      Reply ↓

  9. I wanna know whats with guys and anal sex??? if i had a penis and I was aroused, of ALL the places to put it I don’t think it would be sexy put it in someones butt… thats where poop comes out, and I’m pretty sure it dont smell like roses in there. Plus its sooo unsanitary even with a condom. maybe im just a germophobe but just the thought is repulsive to me. OR even in porno’s when they will put their finger?? EW.

    Reply ↓

    • I agreed with you until your last sentence. While anal sex disturbs me to no end, Anal stimulation (via digits) during backshots is the business.

      Reply ↓

    • *I wanna know whats with guys and anal sex???*

      Actually I wanna know the answer to this too (actually no I don’t, I just wanted to make the point that that DQ doesn’t go Coo Coo for Coa Coa Puffs, or the box that they come in)

      Honestly anal sex is like a dude getting drunk off White Wolf Vodka when the Grey Goose was sitting right next to it. Why do that to yourself?

      Reply ↓

    • Bucket list, some women really enjoy it,some men will stick it anywhere where it fits. I hear your point about anal can be “unsanitary”, but we stick it in places that bleed for days and does not die

      Reply ↓

        • @C me: “but we stick it in places that bleed for days and does not die” Its not the same thing, if the smells don’t give you a clue, then hopefully biology will help…the bacteria that are present in the posterior are harmful, but hey…one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

          So I have a couple of questions for the fella’s:

          1. Why do some men love to cum in a woman’s mouth and then want her to swallow?

          2. Would that be an issue if your girl did not want either (cumshots & swallowing)?

          Reply ↓

    • Not sure about THOSE guys….but there’s nothing wrong with her mouth as a substitute teacher when Hello Kitty won’t allow me to Sticker……

      ….as long as she can go deep enough that is.

      My hypothesis….(and from the testimonials of my fellow Knights of the Slong-Abled)

      …..it’s not per se the FEELING, but the IDEA of putting it in an unorthodox yet available area. Possbilities can be intriguing.

      Reply ↓

    • Two things:

      One, I like it, because she loves it. When she asked for it, it was kind of the ultimate, I trust you THHIIIIIISSSSS much. I dug that. (The journey actually getting to that point is another story. Do NOT go around thinking you can just slip your duck into somebodys pond. #NOSIR!) Its a REAL relationship builder.

      TWO, this to me is like asking, “Why would would you want to get head when you could just stick your duck down the vacuum hose attachment”?

      I’m not saying you don’t have good suction, but it if every once in a while you invite me to choose between just “tight” and “I think Supahead has a summer home in your an.al cavity”, I owe it to myself to pick the latter.

      you cant knock it until you’ve tried it. i’ve wrestled a midget.

      Reply ↓

      • Just to show that I’m not trying to brag and that I’m giving a COMPLETELY honest answer… I posted anonymously. Personally, different girls with pretty prodigious sexual histories complain about my size from time to time, and I think I’m exactly at the halfway point between average and very well endowed. Therefore I believe that the only men that are zealous enough about virgins to actually seek them out would have to be… little men.

        Reply ↓

        • Um… tried to post anonymously, failed miserably. I am formally asking to have my comments denied in moderation… BEFORE they’re posted.

          Reply ↓

          • How exactly did you fail at posting anonymously?

            LMAO! Ima get kicked out the damn office, I’m not sure why this is cracking me up so hard. I might be having a mood swing…

            Reply ↓

            • Well, I posted under the name “Anon” but I was REQUIRED to include an email address, I don’t have a fake one so I HAD to put my real one up…. and along with it came my Gravatar. =P

              Reply ↓

    • I’ll bite

      The answer is mileage may vary. There are dudes who LOVE getting to be the first to pop it and there are ones who would kindly pass over the the less experience chick.

      The important part (which could be blame on ego….lil’ bit) is that he are the first. You never forget the first! whether its bad or good you never forget the first. And some of us out there want to make it REAL good memory. So we become THAT dude.

      Now about the age is tricky, cause it kinda depends on your hotness and age ladies. But if you are looking for a solid number, its 35 and older. Really now alot of men pass this milestone want to jump in on inexperience lady. But many will make compromise depending on your hotness and age.

      Reply ↓

      • “35 and older”

        Gundam, where do u live, brah? I wanna state for the record that I find it pleasantly refreshing when a girl over 18 is a virgin. Around my way, bafflingly, if a girl’s a virgin past 18 she gets the side eye from others.

        smh #fastninjas

        Reply ↓

    • “How do men feel about virgins and at what age do you feel uncomfortable with them?”

      Had this convo a few nights ago with my fellow Cookie Monsters. It definitely depends on the character (sexual work ethic included) of the man. Me personally, I don’t mind virgins….as long as you’re open, curious, (FUN!) and flexible. I like to teach….even in the bed room (although I’m no professor Xavier – I’m slightly gifted…I think). I like to experiment (play around) to test her limits and mine in order to formulate boundaries of likes, dislikes, loves, hates, hell-naws, passions, and obsessions for future sessions. I’ve had (I think) 5 virgins….never had ANY complaints because I carried my gentleman attitude into the bedroom……and the car…..and the movies. A patient and humble guy (and ones with a fetish) will invite virgins. I don’t mind being the first memory and setting her up (experience wise) for the next guy to give her advanced training (or the other way around)…..Kodak moments……brain produces the Polaroids.

      Age?….I’m 26…..as far as going up my ladder, if I did find a sexually curious 30+ yr old virgin, first I’d be shocked and a bit reserved, then I’d be all for it. Beneath my age ladder….(grits teeth and squints eyes), 21 at the lowest, and that depends on her character, looks, and how long I’ve known her.

      Reply ↓

    • Hmmm. Typically, I try to stay away from virgins unless I’m serious about starting a relationship with them, and even then it’s a little tricky. There would be no point for me to try to hook up for hook up’s sake, and age actually has a lot to do with it.

      Unless a woman is bad and looks grown beyond her years, I’m not the type to rob the cradle. To me, robbing the cradle is anything under 21. No bullshit. Something about younger girls, I just can’t get with it. But let’s say I entertained the thought of having sex with a 19 year old virgin, I’d still be opposed to it because I don’t want to be her first. Quite simply, I’ve heard that a lot of women’s first experiences are bad. I’m not selfish when it comes to sex, but I’m not perfect either and I’m not trying to be remembered as the guy that gave her that first painful experience.

      If she’s 25 or older and still a virgin, chances are she’s waiting until she gets married. Which isn’t a problem for me. When I was 24, I dated a virgin who was 5 years my senior and I was willing to propose. For religious reasons, we split, and it’s a good thing we did because and had we not, she would have a lost her virginity but I WOULD NOT have been the initiating party.

      Reply ↓

    • it depends.
      she may be saying that for a reason: the two reasons are: A) I am a virgin an intend to stay one until marriage/serious relationship or B) I am a virgin and I am looking for the right guy to show me the way.

      If she is looking for a tutor – well to some guys thats shallow, to others, its an opportunity.

      If she is looking for a relationship – as long as ole boy is looking for a relationship – it could be all good.
      If she is a long-term virgin

      Reply ↓

  11. *raises hand*

    1) Have you ever heard of the “I respect you too much to sleep with you” game plan, and if so, how the hell does it work and in what situation do you use that?

    2) Hood rat vs. sexy librarian in a pudding wrestling match, who’s your money on?

    3) It’s your first date out with a woman; what should she wear?

    4) Make-up or no make-up?

    5) How important is fellatio really?

    6) New tricks and techniques all around or experience and expertise at a few things?

    7) What are you really thinking when you meet our parents?

    8) Post-coitus, what’s the favorite meal (i.e sammiches, tacos)?

    *takes out pen and notepad*

    Reply ↓

    • 1) a. Every once in a while a guy has a heart and chooses not to go the dog route.
      1) b. The guy knows the girl is crazy as a mofo and just not worth it
      2) The hood rat all day, but that doesn’t mean she is the one who will get asked out.
      3) You need to wear whatever puts you in the team photo for hottest woman in the room, but in the classiest, non-hoochie way as possible.
      4) As little as possible. If you need an Oprah-level of transformation to look halfway decent then don’t be mad when we run for the hills.
      5) It’s important if you finish the job and do it right. If you just want to suck on it for a little bit then that is no fun.
      6) You just need to be better than the worst lay that we’ve had.
      7) Mom: This is what daughter is gonna look like in X years. Dad: She really thinks I’m like HIM?
      :) If it’s morning sex then whatever you make for breakfast is cool. If breakfast sucks then I can make myself something when I get back home.

      Reply ↓

      • 5. But isn’t that considered foreplay? Do guys even like foreplay? o.O
        8. That’s so…well no that’s pretty accurate I guess. Carry on.

        Reply ↓

    • 1. Only time I would ever say that is if I didn’t want to sleep with her. However, you being so special and all, the guy that told you that probably means it and is willing to let you decide when you are ready while applying very little(if any) pressure. He is not an Alpha-male though. Buyer beware.

      2. I would encourage the sexy librarian to forfeit and leave with me.

      3. Whatever she normally wears. I don’t want the “representative.”

      4. Lip gloss and mascara. Any more than that is a turn-off.

      5. VERY IMPORTANT!!

      6. Experience and expertise wins everytime.

      7. Is your Mom in shape and sexy(future you) and does your Father look like a Chester(ruined you).

      8. You will be drained so I will probably ask you what you want to eat.

      Reply ↓

      • 1) *blush* Thank you. As it turns out, dude was not an alpha-male at all, but did turn out to be a very good friend. That was the first (but not the last sadly) time I’d ever heard of that o.o

        2. Sexy librarian. Kind of figured you’d go for that ;)

        3. Okay, but what if you want her to put her best foot forward? Her hippie sandals, jean and t-shirt combo would still work?

        4-6. I can agree with that.

        7. lmao That’s just…I ain’t sayin nothing to that

        8. How about we both get up and make breakfast naked?

        Reply ↓

      • 7. Is your Mom in shape and sexy(future you) and does your Father look like a Chester(ruined you).

        This made me laugh out loud. Please carry on.

        Reply ↓

        • Beta, I’m asking tes for the purpose of responding to her survey

          1) Have you ever heard of the “I respect you too much to sleep with you” game plan, and if so, how the hell does it work and in what situation do you use that?
          See: Vinny and Snookie on Jersey Shore. In real life, naw.

          2) Hood rat vs. sexy librarian in a pudding wrestling match, who’s your money on?
          I’m hoping the sexy librarian but I grew up around em and they don’t stop until they win.

          3) It’s your first date out with a woman; what should she wear?
          Whatever she thinks makes her look good.

          4) Make-up or no make-up?
          If you must, then wear make-up.

          5) How important is fellatio really?
          Crucial

          6) New tricks and techniques all around or experience and expertise at a few things?
          I’m gonna qualify these:
          If experience + expertise means a lot of men, then new tricks/techniques
          If experience + expertise just means a lot of sex with a few guys, then experience

          7) What are you really thinking when you meet our parents?
          Is this what she’s gonna look like in 20/30 years?

          8. Post-coitus, what’s the favorite meal (i.e sammiches, tacos)?
          Tacos? Someone’s been watching Baby Boy. But I’m feeling silly so I’m rolling with Chalupas…Yeah we can got to Taco Bell.

          Reply ↓

          • 8. But I gotta get dressed for that! lol
            As for 7, it really matters the number of men? I thought that was just a generic thing men ask women o.O

            Reply ↓

            • Chalupas go hard in the paint…wocka

              As for 6, it depends on the guy. Your good ole church boy won’t want to seriously date a girl who’s exploits are the talk of the town, whereas Mr. Nightlife may not care a lick how many guys a potential gf has been with before him.

              Generally though, I think most guys don’t want a girl who has heavy mileage, so to speak, to borrow from Skywalker. At least that’s what I’ve seen among my friends. Guys, do any of you feel differently on this front?

              Reply ↓

              • But, generally speaking, guys don’t really like young virgins either, so where’s the line there? Between 0 and 20 what’s the optimum number of rodeo bulls does a girl have to ride to be considered?

                Reply ↓

                • Depends on age and when you started bumping uglies. I’ll throw some ideas out for overall consideration if a girl started in her late teens (16+):

                  At age 20, 2-5 partners seems reasonable for relationship building purposes. (rbp)

                  At age 24, 4-7 seems reasonable for rbp

                  At age 28, 6-12 seems pretty reasonable for rbp

                  At age 30, 10+ is usually an expectation at this point, but between 10-20 for rbp.

                  Again, I’m just stating my opinion. Fellas what do you all think?

                  Reply ↓

                • Don’t live your life to please a guy. Do what is going to make you happy while making wise and informed decisions where you fully understand the consequences. If you are comfortable with your history and he isn’t, he’s not the guy for you. Let him exit stage left so that he’s outta the way when the guy who accepts you for you enters the picture. If he likes, cares for, and is down with you, your history becomes less relevant.

                  Reply ↓

                • I’m honestly more concerned with HOW you amassed your number as opposed to HOW MANY (to a point). I honestly believe most men are in complete denial about just how many peni have entered their young lady interests.

                  Reply ↓

    • 1. I dont know what that is.

      2. Hood rat, they dont fight fair.

      3. Clothes.
      Well it depends on where we are going. Denny’s? Jeans are fine. Fogo De Chao, dresses are acceptable, but honestly i have no preference.

      4. No Make up

      5. Important

      6. Experience.

      7. Not much.

      8. anything breakfast except crepes. no crepes.

      Reply ↓

      • It is well know that GFE (the Girl Friend Experience) is one of the higher priced options from the ladies of the oldest profession.

        So I would say a lot of men might say sexuality is key, its actually the sensuality that puts it on lock.

        Reply ↓

    • Hell, I’ll take a shot at your questions…

      1) Yeah, that’s probably more game than anything: reverse psychology at it’s finest…get her thinking about it, asking herself, “well, why won’t he sleep with me?” Next thing you know, she’s pressing the issue.
      In extremely rare cases, he may actually like her/value her as a friend, and realizes sex may complicate things too much (again, extremely rare). Other VSBs may have different interpretations of this…

      2) Hood rat, although I’d be rooting for the librarian….

      3) Depends on the date…where you go, what you do, etc. I like to keep first dates pretty casual, so jeans are cool…save the dress and heels for something more substantial

      4) Little to no make-up…this is just a personal thing, but I prefer a natural look. That caked-on look is just disturbing…plus, it makes you look like a drag queen, which is quite ironic when you think about it

      5) It’s important, but in terms of sexual hierarchy: c00chie >>> head

      6) Truth be told, consistent enthusiasm + an adventurous spirit generally trumps a bunch of tricks any day…. You don’t have to BE Roxy Reynolds in bed, but you need to BELIEVE YOU’RE Roxy Reynolds in bed (the fellas will know what I mean by this)

      7) DG’s thoughts when he meets the parents: “D@mn, her mama got an a$$ too…Praise Haysoos!!!”

      8) I’m partial to breakfast foods myself (i.e., eggs, turkey sausage, toast)…but I’m always up for another round or two

      Hope this helps…

      Reply ↓

        • As BetaMale stated above, we’re trying to see what a future you (i.e., Mom) may look like….even if a woman doesn’t look exactly like her Mom, she likely took her lifestyle cues from her….meaning if her Mom takes her good care of herself (exercises, eats well, looks put together), she’ll likely do the same as she gets older.

          As for her father, I really don’t make a habit of checking out another man’s a$$…so the mother will have to suffice. Sorry.

          Reply ↓

          • There has been so much emphasis from the VSBs on the importance of the mamas. Not everyone’s mama has it together… what’s a woman to do then? lol

            Reply ↓

    • 1) Have you ever heard of the “I respect you too much to sleep with you” game plan, and if so, how the hell does it work and in what situation do you use that?
      If I’m hearing you right, the way it works is to disarm a woman’s natural defensive instinct to assume a man IS trying to sleep with her. It also presents a woman with a challenge/conundrum, why doesn’t he want to sleep with me? Next thing you know you’re seducing him… …at least I think that’s what I’ve been told. :)

      2) Hood rat vs. sexy librarian in a pudding wrestling match, who’s your money on?
      Hood rat (I’d be routing for the sexy librarian though and when she lost I’d offer to comfort her… is that wrong?)

      3) It’s your first date out with a woman; what should she wear?
      An outfit that accentuates what she likes about herself best and what she wants me to notice (be it her style, her fashion sense, her finanical status, her cleavage, whatever she wants to advertise)

      4) Make-up or no make-up?
      No makeup

      5) How important is fellatio really?
      Remember how good the economy was under Bill Clinton? Yeah – alright then. LOL.

      6) New tricks and techniques all around or experience and expertise at a few things?
      Can I get a mixture of both? I mean if you are a expert at everything, I’m going on the internet looking for that $ex tape that, chances are, you have

      7) What are you really thinking when you meet our parents?
      Is her Dad thinking about me smashing his daughter? Does he suspect that I’m doing all the things that I am doing to her?

      Post coitus meal? I’m a morning sex person (I work long days sue me) so I’m going to go with hotcakes, eggs, AND hog.

      Reply ↓

      • 1. So you’ve been told huh? lol
        2. Actually thats perfectly right. Plus, money in your pocket for the first date.
        3-4. I can dig it.
        5. Really? That’s why America thrives? Interesting concept…lmao
        6. What about the newbies who have no experience? How willing are men to teach what they like?
        7. O_O…lol
        8. So a hearty man meal? Sounds about right…

        Reply ↓

        • 5. Look, I’m just sayin, under Clinton, we were projecting a surplus… you telling Monica ain’t have nothing to do with that? I don’t think so. If there was a Libyan Superhead, we could get Gaddafi out of power right now.

          6. I guess it depends on how I met the chick. If she was talking mad ish about her skills and then didn’t really have any and did the proverbial “dead fish” in bed, that would kind of annoy me. If it’s someone you’ve been dating, and never claimed to be some sort of sexpert, I don’t see why you wouldn’t work with them. I know people like to think they hatched “knowing everything there was to know about $ex” but in reality, we all had a learning curve somewhere.

          Reply ↓

        • If you can look good with less makeup then wear less (or none). If makeup is what it takes to make you look good then go for it.

          Reply ↓

        • Current boo wears little to no makeup at my request. She doesn’t need it, truthfully most black women I have met have beautiful skin and complexion and just don’t need it. I know a few that are like air brush artists at the circus when it comes to eyeshadow… but do they need it? Nope.

          Reply ↓

          • Yeah, my current gf rarely wears makeup, and I like seeing her without it. I love a girl who looks great without makeup, because I think that if you look good without makeup, that speaks to the beauty that you naturally have. At the same time, I can appreciate girls who wear makeup and it helps to enhance some of their facial features.

            But if you got that pancake batter-splatter type caked up makeup on the face? No Ma’am!

            Reply ↓

              • I believe…wholeheartedly…that dudes who say they prefer the “natural look” don’t contemplate what their woman would look like if she quit doing her eyebrows, stopped getting facials/microderms/glycolic peels, quit toning/moisturizing, stopped waxing her facial hair, wore her hair in its literal natural state etc. Oh, and that chick who says she doesn’t do all that stuff is a bold-faced, liar. Period. LOL.

                Reply ↓

                • “eyebrows, stopped getting facials/microderms/glycolic peels, quit toning/moisturizing, stopped waxing her facial hair, wore her hair in its literal natural state etc.”

                  that’s different than wearing make up though.

                  Reply ↓

                • All I said was no makeup – I didn’t say no upkeep. Plus if you’re doing all that, do you really need to put makeup on top of it?

                  Reply ↓

    • @Tes

      1. Most times this is game. I have not hooked up with women, not because I respect them too much but because I wasn’t about ish at the time and I don’t ish on good people.

      2. IDK. I’ve seen some hood rats that could thump. Then again I think the librarian could be a sleeper. Is the librarian from the hood?

      3. She can wear whatever she wants as long as it’s fly and not stripper-club attire.

      4. It doesn’t matter. No make is preferred but not that serious. Unless you have a birthday cake of your face.

      5. VERY IMPORTANT

      6. Experience and expertise at a few things FTW.

      7. I hope they like me at the same time I’m wondering if they know that I blew their daughter’s back out from all angles.

      8. Steak omelet, hash browns, and toast

      Reply ↓

      • 1) So because you knew you weren’t bout nothing, and the lady was, you were nice and let her go without? Hmm…
        2) Hood rat’s been in the hood longer, but the librarian was born and raised in the country.
        8) Would the lady have to cook it, would you cook it together, or do you make your own breakfast? :)

        Reply ↓

    • 1.Yeah, when I was too nice for my own good, that was me. He’s dead now, but i’m still a good guy. I would need to be THOROUGHLY interested in pursuing you as a life partner, or be very good friends with your parents

      2.I’d take hoodrat for 500, Tes. But wait, is this like “i-went-to-college-and-got-hoodrat-tendencies” hoodrat, or “blue weave and a swisher” hoodrat?

      3. Some comfortable heels (do those exist?), nice fitting jeans and a nice top. MINIMAL make-up, hair done tho. PLEASE SMELL VERY PLEASANT. Smelling good goes a long way…

      4. See #3

      5. Actually, to me, not really that important, unless you’re like Skyy (professional “actress”) with it. Otherwise, it’s just knowing that you’re not opposed to it that’s cool with some guys.

      6. If you change it up once in a while its cool. but if it aint broke, don’t fix it.

      7. *Please let her mama be fine*
      Real talk, i’m looking at your mama. Cuz if she’s attractive, then there’s a good chance you’ll be too. I’m also looking at your relationsip with your Dad, cuz that’s low key the type of guy you’ll go for.

      8. Ahh, tacos. and some kool-aid.

      Reply ↓

      • 1) So you’d only say you respected the girl too much to blow her back out if you meant it or if you knew her parents well? What do the parents have to do with it? o.O

        2) Burgandy fingerwaves and Black n Mild hood rat, but with a librarian that was raised in the country.

        3) Nope, comfortable heels are a myth.

        8. Tacos and kool-aid FTW!!

        Reply ↓

    • 1) have heard of it…i’d use if it got hot and heavy real quick with someone i believe would be wifey..err…wife.

      2) the one that actually knows wrestling moves

      3) something she’s comfortable in, appropriate for situation. i like bowling, doing something on the first date..no need for the high heels.

      4) 90% of the women i know, are cute/hot/sexy. 90% of them either don’t need makeup, or overdo it on the makeup (like what’s up with the blue shit around the eyes? never got that)

      5) if you don’t play the skin flute…we probably won’t be recording the wedding march (for me, anyway)

      6) whatever keeps you and me happy

      7) is my shirt ironed? i hope my facial hair isn’t off…this is the last time i wear a f**in tie (in other words i hope i make a good impression) (also i’m checking your moms, because there is a 50/50 shot you’ll be looking like her at her age, and i want to get a rough guestimate)

      8. burgers. #Jughead

      Reply ↓

      • 4) It’s supposed to make our eyes stand out, but personally I only use a little bit of golden brown since my eyes are brown. Blue is so 1970s.

        5) Really? So no head = no wedding band…what if the lady doesn’t know how? Do you have the patience to teach that kind of thing?

        8. Burgers with bacon and cheese and fries or just meat on bread? lol

        Reply ↓

        • 4 if we care, and we’re observant, don’t worry about the eyes…part of you beauty, is the natural shine from them, you probably don’t need the eyeshadow.

          5. It’s one thing if you don’t know how..it’s another if you say you absolutely wont…i’ll take your word for it and move on

          8 anything from 5 Guys Burgers to Foreman Grill’d burgers on toast #AllRecessionEverything

          Reply ↓

    • 1) I’ve heard of it, but it’s not my thing. A dude is trying to do one of two things when he breaks that out: marriage or turn you out. The problem is YOU won’t know which one he’s on.
      2) Sexy librarian
      3) Cute, but not over the top. Now is not the time for hoochieness or anything you’d wear at the Oscars.
      4) Yes. :)
      5) Moderately important. Is you don’t do that, it’s OK, but you’d better have a plan B in your pocket or roll out. (And besides, those plan Bs can turn into pleasant surprises if done right.)
      6) I’d say techniques all around. Unless you want dude’s last name, you need to have a broad skill set.
      7) I’m trying to see if I can figure out your back story. The sooner I can figure out whether your uncles gangbanged you while watching the Patriots game every Sunday, the better.
      8) Food post-coitus? I might have to marry ya. LOL

      Reply ↓

      • 4) The first man to definitively say yes ^_^ lol
        5) What would a plan B…be?
        8. Who doesn’t make their man a meal post-coitus? o.O Especially if he did it right…isn’t that the protocol? lol

        Reply ↓

    • 1) “I respect you too much to sleep with you” is a preemptive strike. The idea is that until she says “No”, she can be convinced to say (or skip the saying) “yes”. By bringing it up first, you can proceed with rounding the bases while at the same time diffusing a potential future concern. That then gives you more time to arouse the senses and turn the tables around where she is the one now pursuing you for sex. Now that she’s coming after you, you can drop little victories (“I’ll just take off my shirt, but I’m not promising anything, “Ok, we can move it to the bedroom for a minute”, “Why do you want to know where the condoms are? Anyway, they are over there”.) which just further encourage her along her path. At that point, you’ve got her in the typical too good to be true con. In general, 50% of people are too savvy to fall for too good to be true situations. So a good artist will actually put up false resistance and hurdles. The mark is so caught up with how smart they are and the heady success of overcoming these false roadblocks that they totally miss all the signs that someone is actually orchestrating the entire thing.

      *Now, all that being said, no chick who really doesn’t want to sleep with you will do so in this situation. This is you providing her what is known in some circles as anti-slut defense. She can’t tell her girls that she just fell into bed with you on the first date. But if you seduced her so well that her panties melted, well, her friends would understand that even a good girl has limits.

      2) Nobody.

      3) Something appropriate for where we’re going and what we planned on doing.

      4) No make up.

      5) Depends on your skill level.

      6) There should be a bit of both.

      7) How well would they get along with my parents?

      Reply ↓

    • 3) It’s your first date out with a woman; what should she wear?

      Doesn’t matter, either way I’m imagining you naked. Otherwise, just be activity appropriate.

      4) Make-up or no make-up?

      No make-up. Lipstick is ok.

      5) How important is fellatio really?

      Very.

      6) New tricks and techniques all around or experience and expertise at a few things?

      Be you.

      7) What are you really thinking when you meet our parents?

      Is this really necessary?

      Post-coitus, what’s the favorite meal (i.e sammiches, tacos)?

      Eat whatever you like, just don’t wake me.

      Reply ↓

        • Still, be you. Let him know you’re inexperienced. He should accept you where you are; you should be open to direction, feedback, and trying new things.

          Reply ↓

        • Solution:

          Honesty, a fair amount of eagerness, and willingness to try things will definitely help. Plenty of guys have had great experiences/relationships with girls who are inexperienced, because of those three traits.

          Reply ↓

    • I can’t answer all 8 of your questions. That is too much of a commitment, and as a black male, that scares me. But I will try the bookends.

      1) A guy is basically telling you that right now he ain’t spit, and doesn’t plan on being spit for the foreseeable future. Explain to me why women want to hold out when they are really interested in you?

      8) Which ever meal requires you to ask the least amount of questions and is complicated enough to preclude you from laying directly under us as we eat it.

      Reply ↓

      • 1) Because we think by us holding out and holding out you’ll want it so bad that when you get it it’ll be the best you think you’ve ever had and by proxy you’ll want to stay with us longer. Never works; if he doesn’t want to stay he won’t, and if all he wanted was sex anyway, once he gets it he’s gone. I wonder too, why so many women hold out. If I wanna sleep with you, trust me, I know it in the first day of meeting you, and somewhere along the line of a few months, you’ll know it too.

        8. The post-coitus meal is a bonding time…why ruin that with questions? Do women really do that? :\

        Also, “That’s too much of a commitment, and as a black male, that scares me.” Clever way of saying you’re too lazy :P lol

        Reply ↓

    • 1) I have heard of it…on tv. I don’t believe in game plans however. So unless the guy is being sincere, only a LAME would say some corny sh*t like that.
      2) I would want librarian to win..but we know hood rats dumpster brawl regularly.
      3) Date? What’s that?
      4) Absolutely no make-up.
      5) Not very.
      6) New tricks and techniques. I can always train her to become an expert at what I like.
      7) She must really like me.
      8. Anything heavy and of substance.

      Reply ↓

    • 1. Jedi mind trick only to be used by Jedi Masters, because it can backfire (I have seen this happen to padawans).

      2. Sexy Librarian, all day.

      3. Whatever is appropriate for the date, but makes her feel/look good.

      4. Little make up. Some lip gloss or blush is ok, but I want to see what YOU look like.

      5. Essential.

      6. Both. If you are short on one or the other, we can explore together, and develop new tricks and techniques or work on your expertise at a few things. How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

      7. Damn, her momma fine too!

      8. Grits, Bacon, Whole Wheat Toast.

      Reply ↓

    • 1) Yup. I have employed this strategy before. The key is to never say it vocally. Just don’t smash (her at least). This works well with women who are used to being essentially attacked on a regular basis. At first she’ll think you’re nice. And then it will evolve into “Why doesn’t he like me!?/What’s wrong with me!?/Is he not attracted to me!?”. At that point, he’s winning BIG.

      2) Always take the sexy librarian. You see, the hood rat walks around all day being rattish. The librarian on the other hand is quiet and subdued. This means she is repressed and subject to go ham!

      3) Dress appropriately for the date. Please no busted weaves.

      4) Save the face paint for the children’s parties.

      5) #1 Oxygen #1a Some good chewin

      6) It really depends on how I’m feeling that day. I say surprise me. I doubt i’ll be disappointed either way.

      7) Mom: Damn! That’s her mom? (could be good or bad)
      Dad: Why does this dude keep looking at that rifle on the wall and smiling at me???

      I gotta say, I love breakfast food but quite honestly as long as I don’t have to prepare it myself its ALL good!

      Reply ↓

  12. Another thing. I once had a bf ask me if his business was the biggest I’d ever seen/experienced. I answered with an honest “No”. This seemed to have really bothered him. He brought it up MANY times. WTF??? I mean, can you REALLY believe that you have some sort of anatomic monopoly? And why be angered when a woman has somehow encountered one bigger than you? I mean, he was big but he didn’t hold a Guinness record so he should have assumed that his wasn’t the largest ON THE PLANET. Mind you, I was a bit younger (as was he) but the experience was annoying nonetheless.

    Being one to not learn a lesson, I gave the same honest answer when asked if he was “the best I ever had”. That went over about as well as you would expect.

    In short: Why do men ask questions about their size/performance when you all really only want (or will accept) a positive answer?

    Reply ↓

      • Ha!!! I didn’t “just say yes” mostly because I hadn’t yet learned that lesson. I now know what to do (saying yes), but why even put us in that position?

        Reply ↓

        • Mostly is a competitive thing we just want to know that we are the best. sometimes we are just running out of things to say. idk. What is Human Nature for 600?

          Reply ↓

    • In short: Why do men ask questions about their size/performance when you all really only want (or will accept) a positive answer?

      I’d guess for the same reason we ask men if our new jeans makes our azz look fat as opposed to phat.

      Reply ↓

    • @IsOurChildrenLearning

      “In short: Why do men ask questions about their size/performance when you all really only want (or will accept) a positive answer?”

      Same reason women ask if they’re fat. He was wack for asking that. After watching the “Miracle of Birth” documentary and watching porn I realized that only babies and minotaurs are at the top of the size heirachy. The rest of us get in where we fit in.

      Reply ↓

    • I’ve never asked these questions, but I have thought about em. Like ApolloBlaQ said, it’s because of ego. But I’d question the security (on insecurity) of any man who did ask such questions, especially if he didn’t like the answers.

      Reply ↓

    • “In short: Why do men ask questions about their size/performance when you all really only want (or will accept) a positive answer?”

      Those men are insecure with low sexual self-esteem about what they are asking and want positive reinforcement from you so that they feel better about themselves. The ones who ask and don’t care when you give an honest answer simply wanted to know.

      Reply ↓

    • To be so sensitive yourselves, woman are really confused when it comes to understanding male insecurities. Do I really have to go into analogies about women needing to know that they are the superlative _______ when it comes to anything regarding females we have been with (or with all other females that have ever existed or ever will for that matter) for you to understand this?

      Reply ↓

    • What if the guy asks the performance question and he’s the Alpha male, type A who wants to be the best he can be at pleasing you sexually? (wasn’t trying to rhyme)

      As a men, I think it’s perfectly fine for a guy not to be happy that he wasn’t your best, in terms of performance. Hell, isn’t that what a lady wants? For a guy to strive to give you the best sex that you’ve had? Now, what’s not cool is moping about it. If a guy is told by his lady that she wasn’t his best, then its time to go to the wood shed and figure out a way to make her sing that Drake song after you get it in.

      Reply ↓

  13. When told “Don’t Stop!!” or “RIGHT THERE”, why do men do the complete muthaeffin opposite of those instructions? It seems pretty clear to me, but somehow, many of you miss it. What’s up with that?

    What do you think of a woman who has her own stash of condoms and/or carries condoms in her purse? Safety first, or slutty nurse?

    Backshots or reverse cowgirl?

    Reply ↓

    • I never understand why guys don’t listen. I’m telling you exactly what to do……yet and still you took that to mean change of position. WRONG!

      Reply ↓

    • I think men do the opposite sometimes because when we become excited that further excites them and makes it next to impossible not to finish. They try to switch it up some to last longer. If they are any good, they should be able to go back to hitting that spot or hold off longer in the future.

      Reply ↓

      • Yeah, I know all that. Just in that brief moment, I’m not really giving 2 sh*ts about him trying to last longer. lol. Of course, I win in the long run. Delayed pleasure is such torture…

        Reply ↓

    • @N.I.A.naturally

      “Backshots or reverse cowgirl?”

      Backshots hands down. Especially on thick (pre-1995 definition) women. Backshots is the one of a few positions when a man has to strategize his stroke. Shoutout to the women that can throw it back and put on a dude while taking backshots.

      Reply ↓

      • Lol @ the “pre-1995 definition” of thick…d@mn shame you gotta throw that in, but I understand completely, fam…I understand.

        Reply ↓

        • @DG

          You know the definition of thick has been hi-jacked. You can thank wack simp ninjas and women in denial for that.

          Reply ↓

    • “What do you think of a woman who has her own stash of condoms and/or carries condoms in her purse? Safety first, or slutty nurse?”

      I think “my kinda girl!” Safety without pretense for the win.

      “Backshots or reverse cowgirl?”

      Both please.

      Reply ↓

    • 1) Cause we suck at listening.

      2) What was the question? I was reading ESPN.

      3) You have to be pretty flexible, strong, and coordinated (or an actual cowgirl) for RCG to trump backshots.

      Reply ↓

  14. Figuring that you kats have turned in your v-cards, what’s the longest stretch you’ve done without the ill na na, the gushy, the snappy nappy?

    Reply ↓

  16. The picture at the beginning of the post is just so painfully accurate.
    Sirs why aren’t your finger nails trimmed?!
    I’m convinced my last boo thang scraped my uterus and not in that Big O producing kind of way. O_o
    I

    Reply ↓

  17. Should I make a move if he won’t? Or does him not making a move mean he is not interested in me?

    Have any of you VSB’s been approached by the woman first? If yes, how did it make you feel. If no, what would you think if she did.

    Reply ↓

    • The main answer is no. But depending on what state/city you live in some chicks do the approaching. If he seems sincerely interested in you and you can tell he likes you i would say make the first move, but usually men are supposed to make the first move.

      Reply ↓

    • Three words… NON… VERBAL… CLUES. Women have to be masters of them. If a woman’s non-verbal game is on point and a dude STILL don’t get the picture… Let him go. He is clueless. I used to poli with this chick who would invite me to her apt (which is a sign in itself) but when I was there she would go completely cold. Finally when I said Fuck it and just went for it, she responded like that was what she had been waiting for. I think extremely attractive females usually end up like this. They’re used to receiving a lot of attention and being intensely pursued so they don’t know how the game is played.

      Reply ↓

    • By making the first move, I interpret that as putting yourself in proximity to have a conversation. I think that’s ok to do, but he has to do the heavy lifting first. Making yourself available for the conversation (that he should be striking up) is as much due diligence as anyone can ask. JMO.

      Reply ↓

      • This has been my experience. You just hang around his vicinity, smile, start a convo if it’s natural. If he’s interested, you won’t have to do more than that.
        *steps back to let the men continue

        Reply ↓

    • Generally, the men should approach but as has been mentioned above, women increase their chances by giving those non verbal clues.

      Recently, a woman approached me first and I smashed the next day. Jus sayin. In fairness, she was older and jus got out of relationship, so…

      Reply ↓

    • him NOT making a move doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested…

      i know for me i honestly don’t know whether to make a move, because i don’t know if she’s interested, so maybe he’s the type that doesn’t know if you’re interested *based of the question you initially gave… guarding myself against the scenario rope-a-dope* lol

      Reply ↓

    • Not sure if this was a regional thing, but I noticed that women on the east coast like to ‘saunter’ in front of a guy, then wait for him to make a move.

      Whereas down souf, the ladies are less timid, and will straight up step to you and start a convo.

      Some fellas (esp fellas not used to it) tend to be throw’d off by the latter, ’cause every now and then you meet a bat-shit-crazy-quoting-her-IQ-and-degrees-sister that way. (although in fairness she tends to be fahreaky in bed)

      Reply ↓

      • Here here sir! I’m southern living in NE and I had to get back on the grind when I came up here. Bad part is, it still ain’t really working. It’s a completely different breed up here and these soft simps ain’t doing me any favors.

        Reply ↓

    • Well if you are sitting or performing some activity by your lonesome and he doesn’t make a move, he’s probably not interested. If he is and still doesn’t, you probably won’t be interested anyway.

      If you are out with a group of your friends, then you need to make some moves of your own. At the very least, you need to:

      1. Make eye contact and smile.
      2. Separate yourself from your group for a few minutes.

      If he is interested, he’ll be there.

      To me, I pass attractive women all the time. I can’t stop and talk to all of them. And unless there is something about her that I know or have learned beyond knowing that she’s attractive or seems interesting, there is little point in approaching someone who shows no interest.

      Reply ↓

      • Yay! I’ve been going about this the right way. I always let him come up to me first and inquire, but I want more out of this. Patience in a virtue, but it is also hard a freak to obtain.

        Ok. So from this I’ve gather that:
        1)Make self available. Smile and sh!t because it makes you seem inviting.

        2)Its okay to make a move so long as it is non-verbal (ain’t that two words tho?). And don’t try to dominate the convo with how I’m the ish.

        3)Break free from group of friends because it makes you seem more approachable.

        4)Hide my crazy… for now

        Reply ↓

      • I would say (for both parties) be aggressive. There is nothing sadder than a 8th grade dance an everybody is afraid to talk to each other. If you see somebody interesting – step up.

        Reply ↓

  18. This post is so bittersweet… Entertaining of course but, the questions are so basic. The promise totally exceeds its substance. I guess, using the b-ball metaphor… It’s like posting a title about insider basketball then only addressing scoring and positions. At least for us ladies acknowledge how simple the queries are. Really? You’ve got more crime fighting skills than that.

    Challenge I say. Challenge!
    No questions from me, technically.

    Reply ↓

  19. “Can you think of anything else you’ve ever wanted to know about men and sex?”

    Would you stop dating a woman if she didn’t perform orally- absolutely nothing, no licky-licky no kissy-kissy?

    Can the “yum-yum” ever be too hot or too juicy?

    Seems like men like threesomes, would you ever marry a woman that you had a threesome with?

    What do you think Chili’s problem is, if any?

    Reply ↓

    • Would you stop dating a woman if she didn’t perform orally- absolutely nothing, no licky-licky no kissy-kissy?

      Yes, Shallow reason would only keep me dating her.

      Can the “yum-yum” ever be too hot or too juicy?

      Not sure what the “Yum-Yum” is. Maybe this slang was before my time.

      Seems like men like threesomes, would you ever marry a woman that you had a threesome with?

      Nope. If we were already married and did it, it would be a reason to stay together.

      What do you think Chili’s problem is, if any?

      Chili just doesnt know what she wants. That’s the problem.

      Reply ↓

    • 1, yes. I would stop.

      2, I don’t think so. Unless by hot, you mean burnt, in which case…

      3, absolutely not.

      4, she has a problem? I mean, she gets paid to do the show, right? If she ever finds what she wants, my guess is that she would no longer have the show. Right? It’s just entertainment. But my guess is that for any woman that can “relate to Chili”, the idolized idea of a man she has in her head never translates to how such a man will actually interact with her.

      Reply ↓

    • i could date a woman if she is waiting for marriage to have sex. but if she says that she won’t do that, when the time comes? dealbreaker, On to the next one #BP3

      2) N/A

      3) i guess, if she loved me, and she makes banging oxtails

      4) Chili’s problem? There is only one Usher.

      Reply ↓

    • Would you stop dating a woman if she didn’t perform orally- absolutely nothing, no licky-licky no kissy-kissy?

      Yes. Not because I would miss it so much, but a chick that doesn’t do even that wouldn’t be adventurous enough or open minded enough to really ever truly enjoy the act the way it is meant to be enjoyed, or hold my attention for too long.

      Reply ↓

      • I’m a female & I concur. I was married for 23 yrs. I’m now in my 40′s & single in this wild world.. It’s common place with me…something to be expected. { No need for judgement….I likes what I likes }

        Reply ↓

  20. I don’t know if it was Meech or one of the wondermous VSB’s that commented on this, but what is that experience that literally makes you stop in your tracks when you think back to it??

    2. No judgement:: 1000 people or 1 person 1000 ways?? (I’ve asked this before)

    3. Sort of chex-related, do men secretly want to get married as much as it seems women do?

    4. Be it Delta’s or not, why don’t some men eat the nana??

    5. Bare, landing strip, or the bush?

    6. Does size of the woman affect the quality of chex? Do you prefer a thick girl or skinny girl? Which is better?

    That’s all I got.

    Reply ↓

    • 5. I’d prefer Bare (or at the most Landing Strip) but I apparently that makes me a closet pedophile lol.

      Disclaimer: I’m speaking from the point of view of someones whose abstinent so my opinion is more in theory than practice.

      Reply ↓

    • *Skips one.*

      2. 1 person 1000 ways.

      3. thanks for reminding me i gotta get some Chex and milk in the morning. Some Men like the marriages we just dont go gaye over the weddings.

      4. Maturity level.

      5. No Bush.

      6. What does the woman’s size have to do with cereal? *joking*
      Her actual size just depends on the face some girls look cute skinny but it doesnt translate well going thick. and vice versa. i have no preference on the skinny vs thick.

      Reply ↓

    • 1 person 1000 ways (if I have to pick one)

      3. Sort of chex-related, do men secretly want to get married as much as it seems women do?
      No. Hell no. If I could remain a bachelor forever and still get the benefits of marriage why would I give that up? Marriage for men (IMO) isn’t about sex, it’s about responsibility and accountability and sacrifice all for the benefit of someone else other than me. Who’s in a rush to embrace that? (yes I realize there’s more to marriage than that – just sayin)

      4. Be it Delta’s or not, why don’t some men eat the nana??
      Some people just aren’t stimulated by giving or receiving (yeah they exist). To each their own I suppose.

      5. Bare, landing strip, or the bush?
      Bare

      6. Does size of the woman affect the quality of chex? Do you prefer a thick girl or skinny girl? Which is better?
      I prefer my perception of a thick chick (I know definitions of thick vary). Little booties don’t jiggle when you hit ‘em. I need that jiggle in my life.

      Reply ↓

    • 1. idk

      2. No judgement:: 1000 people or 1 person 1000 ways?? (I’ve asked this before)
      1 person 1000 ways, leaves room for improvement lol

      3. Sort of chex-related, do men secretly want to get married as much as it seems women do? Hmm, I’m gotta say no. Sadly, marriage is seen more as an end to the lifestyle and there is many examples of what happens when you marry the wrong woman.

      4. Be it Delta’s or not, why don’t some men eat the nana??
      DQ said it

      5. Bare, landing strip, or the bush? Bare-easier to feast from lol

      6. Does size of the woman affect the quality of chex? Do you prefer a thick girl or skinny girl? Which is better? I’m not gonna lie, I lik them thick.

      Reply ↓

    • 1,

      2, 1 person 1000 ways.

      3, no.

      4, they’re selfish.

      5, the bush, as long as it’s not too bushy.

      6, in experience, thicker women have much better “nana”. Slim women are tighter, but thicker women are just softer and warmer and juicier and…

      Reply ↓

    • 1. N/A
      2. 1 person 1K
      3. i desire to get married. i don’t know if it’s “as much” as women want to get married, because quite frankly, do most women want to get married? i guess on their own terms? So yes, i do want to get married…but “on my own terms”
      4. Ego, personal preference
      5. STD-free
      6. N/A

      Reply ↓

    • 1) My first threesome. That was some wildness.
      2) 1 person 1000 ways
      3) Not as much as women do, but dudes do want to get married at some point.
      4) Varies a lot. Some dudes have had bad experiences down there, some are prudish, some just don’t have a clue what to do down there. There’s no one answer.
      5) Bare
      6) No. I’ve been with women up and down the size spectrum, and I’ve been surprised up and down the BMI scale.

      Reply ↓

  21. Thanks Rog, I got another question!!

    For the men who are/were, gasp, abstinent/celibate, why??

    Is it a choice? Is there a drought?

    I always thought that was so…. Fascinating, as it seems that men apparently “can’t” be celibate.

    Oooh.

    Reply ↓

    • well some men are self destructive, they’ll attempt to get it or get out it, but they continually find ways to shoot themselves in the foot. so they end up empty handed.
      i have a homie that over thinks the situation and makes it bigger than what it really is and messes up everything.

      Reply ↓

    • For me personally being abstinent was, at first, something I was doing for the sake of religion, but as I got older I reexamined if it was something I truly had my heart into and decided to stick with it.

      Reply ↓

    • partly religion (i was raised on that “ooh, don’t have sex or you’ll die” church style…but now, it is what it is)

      partly because of interactions i’ve had in the real world (seeing how my boys handled relationships and sex within relationships) it’s better to have sex, save sex with someone that you TRUST. IMO, having sex, just because it feels good, with any willy-nilly philly…AINT the business. you can get burned, get a girl pregnant (the choice to have kids being up to her, you have no say-so…so if she wants it, it’s you and her for the next 18 years), etc.

      and partly because while *I* and many other men can see “Sex” for what it is, a physical act that derives pleasure and potential pregancy, the same cannot be said for the womens, who (from my viewpoint) see sex as a physical, pleasureable act, but also an emotional bonding act/session. So having sex, is not something i’m going to do with just any woman, because i don’t want there to be the potential of hurt emotional feelings.

      (yes, there are women can have sex, have no emotional ties, and they arent prostitutes….and i believe there are 18 of them in the US)

      Reply ↓

      • ” yes, there are women that can have sex, have no emotional ties, and they arent prostitutes….and I believe there are 18 of them in the US”

        LOL!

        As for the rest of that…I can agree too. Very insightful and helpful. Thank you :)

        Reply ↓

      • @ Peter, co-sign to the nth degree. I couldn’t have said it better.

        And yes VSS’s there are men who prefer having sex with someone they trust vs. the random chic at the club with the huge booty.

        Some guys are very cognizant of how one bad sexual experience can ruin your life (std, kids, crazy girls) and so they spread their willy’s with more…prudence if you will.

        Reply ↓

  22. At what point should a woman stop saying she’s a virgin?

    After she’s gone down on a dude? After a dude’s gone down on her? If he’s touched the forbidden entrance, but not been permitted to enter? After she’s done all/some/one of these things? With X number of men?

    Mathematical formulas appreciated, but never required : D

    Reply ↓

    • I’m not a man but the general thought is that a woman is a virgin until penetration. You can give/get all the head you want and get “touched” all day…you’re still a v card carrier.

      Reply ↓

      • lol, a group of us had a discussion about this. The girls said no, sex = sex, but the guys were divided. They didn’t want to think their girl was pure and then find out she’d been making the rounds, but at the same time if the card hasn’t been punched, she can still carry it. We eventually compromised on “technical virgin,” but it still felt like splitting hairs…

        Reply ↓

  23. Okay, so…I’ve got more :)

    1. What makes men insecure?
    2. What impresses you about a woman?
    3. A girl who knows hip-hop vs. a girl who knows jazz and why?
    4. When you’re looking at us when we’re talking, are you actually hearing us or are you going through the appropriate “mmhms” and nods until we walk away?
    5. Does it really upset you when we beat you at games/ correct you?
    6. Your homie hit on me hard, do I tell you or do I not?

    Reply ↓

    • Tes, are you on the west coast? Girl, take your @ss to sleep, haha :-)

      See you in the morn! And I like the #6 question

      Reply ↓

    • 1. Failure, the thought of failure. or the actual motion. or a girl telling him his ego isnt the biggest she’s seen/had. That would mess him up to.

      2. A womans ability to cook. that seems like a loss trait. That or her creative side, if she has one.

      3. A girl who knows hip-hop, especially if she can go from different Decades reciting lyrics.

      4. depends. I usually try to listen but if she’s repeating the same thing over but differently i usually zone out.

      5. Nope, games no. We let y’all win… sometimes. Depends on how much you correct me. gets annoying after a while.

      6. Dont tell. the less i know the less i have to worry about.

      Reply ↓

      • 6. But if I don’t tell you, and he brings it up later when he’s salty about gettin that @ss beat in Madden, won’t you be upset with ME?

        Reply ↓

    • 1. What makes men insecure?
      Failure is one. I would also add our inability to help. Could be cooking, fixing, or chexing. Once a guy acknowledges lack of skills to impress he lady/ladies he avoids putting himself in that situation again.

      2. What impresses you about a woman?
      Did i mention how most of you can code switch on dude?!? On the occasions you can go from work mode to dime walking down the street to chexy minx. I tell ya, every dude got that friend they never saw dress to nines. Then at one event you brought it out asking “Why looking at me like that?” Ya’ll think yall slick

      3. A girl who knows hip-hop vs. a girl who knows jazz and why? Jazz, she would e ale to hit me up on ppl i never heard. Today’s hip-hop has left alot of fans bitter

      4. When you’re looking at us when we’re talking, are you actually hearing us or are you going through the appropriate “mmhms” and nods until we walk away?
      We listen…..there’s jus a timer tho

      5. Does it really upset you when we beat you at games/ correct you?
      Games, nah its kool. Correcting, depends sometimes we a lil’ hardhead…….few times

      6. Your homie hit on me hard, do I tell you or do I not? I rather not know

      Reply ↓

      • 2. We actually know we are :D It’s all about that false sense of “Oh her? Yeah I know her…can she even wear underwear in that dress? I didn’t know she even owned dresses!” All in good fun ;) lol

        Reply ↓

    • 1, like a woman, usually it’s our egos.

      2, I like a woman who is good on her own. She has her own life and doesn’t need me to entertain her. I could expound on this, but I’ma keep it short for now.

      3, JAZZ. Absolutely. Fµck hip hop. But I will say, in my experiences the women who know jazz also know hip hop from the times it was good. But definitely jazz, it’s a lot better and the instrumentation encourages you to focus on actual musicality. Because we grew up with hip hop, we have a tainted view on what is actually good music, verses what we were encouraged to like due to popularity. A jazz head took her own initiative to explore a genre jus because it was a good music. Sexy.

      4, depends on what I was doing before you started talking, and what you started talking about, and how much you repeat yourself, and how much I know what you’re going to say despite the fact you may need to say it anyway. But I listen.

      5, no, just don’t be rude about it.

      6, yes, tell me. My fellas don’t do that, and if they do, chances are they ain close, more like associates.

      Reply ↓

    • 1. What makes men insecure?
      that’s a hard one – it depends on the man, for me in the past, it would be not living up to her expectations.

      2. What impresses you about a woman?
      a woman who enjoys her feminity – it seems american women tend to try to be men (dress/talk/dance like men) – just be a woman
      Yea, it’d be nice to play basketball/football etc with you, but there are better ways for mixed genders to spend time together.
      on that note, my boys and I usually count the number of sisters we see 1) doing snowsports 2) jogging outdoors 3) swimming 4)mountain or road biking 5) kayaking 6) etc etc.
      if you do any of that stuff, to a lot of fellas, that is impressive. that means you are a risk-taker and open to new adventures – in short FUN, and not boring!

      3. A girl who knows hip-hop vs. a girl who knows jazz and why?
      preferably jazz, but hip-hop is good as well, this is really a question of “a girl who is into the lyrics of hip hop, vs a girl who is into the melodies of jazz” for the record, I think both can co-exist, but a woman who rejects either is a sign of a closed mind.

      4. When you’re looking at us when we’re talking, are you actually hearing us or are you going through the appropriate “mmhms” and nods until we walk away?
      depends upon how deep your convo is. if its gossip/related to a tv show – ya gets the head nod.

      5. Does it really upset you when we beat you at games/ correct you?
      nope!

      6. Your homie hit on me hard, do I tell you or do I not?
      yea, no secrets between couples! if you would keep that a secret – what else would you hide from me?

      Reply ↓

    • “6. Your homie hit on me hard, do I tell you or do I not?”

      Tell me so I know that this ninja can’t be trusted and/or needs a beat down.

      Reply ↓

    • 1. Some guys have a big ego or their pride is very important. Being in a situation where that can be destroyed or usurped. That typically makes a man insecure. Mine is pride related but my insecurities tend to come from situations where I’ve not had what I feel are qualified successes in the past. If you put me in a race car today, despite never having driven anything at speed with over 500HP, I will do it w/o any fear because I’ve been fine any other time I’ve handled a powerful machine. Drop me into a portrait painting contest and my outlook wouldn’t quite be as rosy.

      2. What impresses me about women with whom I pursue a romantic interaction has been the balance between their scientific/rational mind and creative mind. I feel that my creative process is limited. If a solution to a problem exists within the knowledge that I have, then I will find it, obscure as it may be. That may come across to some as interesting and creative, but that’s only because it is not common. True creativity is something that I’m unsure actually exists in me and it makes me sad but I also value it a lot in others.

      3. A girl that knows Eminem is one step closer to me heart.

      4. That depends on what I was doing before you started talkingBut never fear, my subconscious has a 10 second memory buffer. As long as I remind myself to devote at least 30% of my time to your voice, I can always keep up with what you are saying and even repeat it verbatim.

      5. Not really. Typically though when women beat me at a game or correct me, it is a big deal for them. And so they have to live it up. Now, if I’m in a relationship with her, it makes me happy. It means that the 1% of the time that I’m wrong or can be beat, she’s the one who does it. If there was ever a time to get sex from me. . . not that I’m not easy for anyone with whom I’m in a relationship. . .

      6. Of course you do. He has violated a cardinal man rule. This is just one of the things that I can’t imagine actually happening with one of my friends. So if it does happen, there is some major sh*t going down.

      Reply ↓

      • 2. Creative is a variable term though, so don’t feel down about that. Creativity to me is thinking of things in a way different from the way I, or many of the people I know, may think about it. Plus, that whole knowledge/logic thing is very…downplayed by men lately, but that’s one of the things that attracts me most when looking for a potential partner. Then again I’m 20 so I’m not sure if those guys actually exist in my age spectrum (and I’m sure if they do, some girl has snatched him up already).

        3. Too much Em makes me think I’m going crazy. I kind of like that, but only in small doses. But what about the Nas’ and the Bustas? They gets no love? o.O

        Reply ↓

  24. More Q’s
    1. How do vajajay’s FEEL different? I think different penises feel different only because of size. In what ways do we feel different?
    2. Can a woman be TOO exuberant/willing/experimental/open/experienced in bed?
    —My thoughts about things are always “Why not, we already f*****g” but I often hold back in efforts to not come across as TOO out there.
    3. Do you ever hold back from asking for things in bed?
    4.What is YOUR favorite position
    5. What is your favorite sexual trait in a woman?
    6. How do you feel about squirters?
    7. Do boobs even matter during the act?
    8. Is there anything that you will not do sexually with another woman.
    9. Do you have sex with jumpoffs in a different manner than you would with a gf or wife?
    10 lastly, being that you’ve probably slept with many kinds of women, are there any surprising indicators that a woman would be good/bad in bed?

    Reply ↓

    • 1) Warmth, depth, gush-factor, etc. Personally I find it hilarious how many adult women out there DONT know that all vaginas aren’t created equal.

      And here’s a bonus: Sometimes men fake it.

      2) Generally, no. But bear in mind that only applies within REASON. Meaning, if she whips out a catwoman suit and a strap on….I’m outta there.

      3) In the immortal words of that light-skinned cat from the Ying Yang Twins (I’m guessing he was ‘Ying’) “Closed mouths don’t get fed, so I don’t mind asking for head.”

      4) Her feet on top of my shoulders.

      5) Enthusiasm. And that can’t be said enough.

      6) Cool with me, but understand YOU will be washing the sheets.

      7) Of course.

      8) See response #2.

      9) No music, passionate kissing, whispering in her ear, post-coitus refreshments, or none of that. The only convo to be had should revolve around what time she’s leaving, and how fast we can make that a reality.

      10) I don’t think so. I’ve met women that look like they could ride you into a coma, but come down to the come down, the goods can best be described as “negligible.”

      Reply ↓

    • 1) Lots of different ways. Some have different tightness, different temps, different wetness, even different “configurations” inside there, as in some women are even tightness, some are tighter towards the back or front, different shapes of the hole, etc.
      2) No. Just no.
      3) No.
      4) Girl on top, especially if she doesn’t mind if I thrust from below.
      5) Comfort in her own skin and passion. Have these two traits, and you can make the rest work.
      6) Nice bonus. :)
      7) A little bit, but not major
      8) No strapons, no pain on me.
      9) Yeah. The jumpoff is just that…to jumpoff! Your wife means a bit more to ya.
      10) How she dances. It’s not just the rhythm, but how they move against another person.

      Reply ↓

    • 1. Todd vividly explained this above, as did B. Think of it like the housing market. There are a variety of homes for sale and no two homes are exactly alike. The only catch in this case, is that men will prefer a studio apartment over a three bedroom luxury. condo.
      2. No.
      3. No.
      4. I’d rather show than tell.
      5. Her ability to never say NO.
      6. They feel great.
      7. Yes. A well timed lick/suck can take her from climbing to climax.
      8. Yes, I will not hand over my masculinity. i.e. allow her to inflict pain upon me, bite me, pull my hair, choke me, etc).
      9. Yes. Much less intimate and far from loving.
      10. Not really.

      Reply ↓

    • More Q’s
      1. How do vajajay’s FEEL different? I think different penises feel different only because of size. In what ways do we feel different?
      Juiciness, tightness, ability to squeeze those muscles on our peens, etc.

      2. Can a woman be TOO exuberant/willing/experimental/open/experienced in bed?
      —My thoughts about things are always “Why not, we already f*****g” but I often hold back in efforts to not come across as TOO out there.
      No. Not really. Unless you throw out some ape sh!t crazy stuff, hell no. The more eager, the better.

      3. Do you ever hold back from asking for things in bed?
      Yeah. Im not tryna get a stern rebuff when I ask for something that you may not feel comfortable doing. (swall0wing or more graphic things that will not be documented here) cuz u coming at me aggressive just to say no is gonna kill the whole vibe

      4.What is YOUR favorite position?
      Skipping this one because I could go on about reverse cowgirl for days and I dont want to ruin the buzz that it’s given me recently.

      5. What is your favorite sexual trait in a woman?
      Personality or physically?
      In terms of personality, I love a girl who’s really into it and likes it as much as I do

      6. How do you feel about squirters?
      ahem, I LOVE SQUIRTERS. Too much?

      7. Do boobs even matter during the act?
      We should ask you that question, as many women like boob play/attention during sex to heighten the sensations and overall experience.

      8. Is there anything that you will not do sexually with another woman?
      I ono

      9. Do you have sex with jumpoffs in a different manner than you would with a gf or wife?
      Uh yeah….lol. Definitely. I pay more attention to the gf or wife/focus more on making the whole thing great for her (namely proper foreplay)

      10 lastly, being that you’ve probably slept with many kinds of women, are there any surprising indicators that a woman would be good/bad in bed?
      Apparently, they way that they dance.

      Reply ↓

  25. 1. Who told men it was okay to f-k past the p*ssy prime? Oh…u don’t know what that is? Allow me: p*ssy prime is that time when it’s wetter than a St. Benard’s mouth. It’s the time when she’s at her highest point, probably after she’s orgasmed. Yes…it’s a glorious time…and it signals (or should signal) a man to go ahead and get his off. Why? B/c precisley 4.5 minutes from now the St. Benards mouth will begin to dry faster than spit on a Vegas sidewalk. That time is past the prime.
    Some dudes act like they can’t tell…stop it. When the p*ssy starts to do it’s natural “wrap it up” signal, please finish and exit so a pleasant ride will be had by all.

    2. Why do dudes think sex all night is the business? Do not underestimate the importance of a quickie on your sex life. Contrary to every r&b song ever made, we do not need it all night long. Perfect the 6 minute quickie fellas!

    3. Why do men bed hos w/out protection and get mad when STD’s/unwanted pregnancies ensue? I mean, woman are to blame too, but for the life of me I know more stupid men complaining about their baby mamas….but they knew she was a ho and proceeded anyway. Stupid!

    4. Why do men think eating is optional? It’s not. Thanks…

    5. Why do men feel that manual stimulation is an acceptable form of foreplay? I’m sorry but your fingers as a precursor to sex is about as sensible as eating soup w/chopsticks. Grow up, learn some more advanced ways of foreplay and stop the madness.

    The end :)

    Reply ↓

    • @ #3: this is why we are VSB’s (i hope) and they aren’t. In all honesty, you can’t sensibly complain about having a kid/STD when you hit that chick raw dog.

      Its a cold world and you gots to look out for you homie, so not wrapping it up, is setting you up for unwanted consequences and largely is, just foolish…

      as for #4. Guys differ dramatically on this. So you gonna probably have to alert a dude about your policy and see how he reacts before moving forward to avoid forgetful experiences

      Reply ↓

    • [b]*2. Why do dudes think sex all night is the business?[/b] Do not underestimate the importance of a quickie on your sex life. Contrary to [b]every r&b song ever made[/b], we do not need it all night long. Perfect the 6 minute quickie fellas!*

      LOL, watch the first dude that takes this advice will get a BDR (Bad D!ck Report) and be called out for being a one minute man. I get what you’re saying Mo, but each woman is different, and each one (apparently) expects a man to intrinsically know what she does and doesn’t like. Some women might want to make it last…. if you’re a dude better to go too long than to go too short.

      Reply ↓

      • better too long than too short if you’re having sex for the first time. but if you’re in a relationship, you should know what the woman likes and read cues for when shes ready to be over.

        things id communicate to my SO/LTL (long time lover):
        -if ive climaxed, ima need you to wrap it up shortly there after. unless i specifically ask you to make me do it again.
        -if we’re about to go to work or go out and meet friends for “wing night” and you want some, please make it a quickie. or else we’ll be very late and very tired.
        -if i bring toys, cuffs, and fun his/hers ky, be ready to make it an all-night olympic event.

        Reply ↓

    • 1) 90′s R&B
      2) 90′s R&B
      3) 90′s RAP
      4) 90′s RAP
      5) 90′s School Bus Rides.

      And none of these were questions.

      Reply ↓

  26. Okay, so…I’ve got more :)

    1. What makes men insecure?
    2. What impresses you about a woman?
    3. A girl who knows hip-hop vs. a girl who knows jazz and why?
    4. When you’re looking at us when we’re talking, are you actually hearing us or are you going through the appropriate “mmhms” and nods until we walk away?
    5. Does it really upset you when we beat you at games/ correct you?
    6. Your homie hit on me hard, do I tell you or do I not?

    1. Depends from guy to guy
    2. Smarts or sports knowledge (i have the hugest crushes on Michelle Beadle and Sage Steele from ESPN)
    3. Jazz. Cuz I’m tryna get on that jazz tip, but if you can dance to a bass heavy waka song that’s extra points
    4. Combination
    5. YES…at times, and that’s more about the correction thing.
    6. Yes. I’m talking to him to about it cuz that’s foul. If you’re my homie, you don’t undercut me like that, so suffice to say that me and him probably won’t be homies for much longer. But that’s not a bad thing, as the friend was finally exposed, and he probably would have tried to betray/undercut me in some other way if this didn’t happen. Better to find these things out early.

    Reply ↓

    • 1. Alright then, what makes you feel insecure?
      3. You can’t go wrong starting with Count Basie and John Coltrane. Also, maybe some Charlie Bird Parker. :)

      Reply ↓

      • To answer your question I guess im “In a sentimental mood,” because I usually don’t talk about stuff like this, but my insecurities usually have to do with failing and pride like most guys.

        Reply ↓

  27. 1. What makes men insecure?
    Apparently sexual performance. You can see it in some of the complaint/questions of women. If we’re going to be hung up, we’re going to be hung up on the fear that we’re not sexually adequate (i.e. someone else is bigger, someone else was better, did you like the stuff we did, yada yada yada)

    2. What impresses you about a woman?
    Confidence. Self-esteem. A woman that demonstrates that she doesn’t need a man without tweeting it, FB statusing it, or otherwise broadcasting it like a some gender badge of honor is sexy. A woman who is happy by herself, content by herself, that impresses me.

    3. A girl who knows hip-hop vs. a girl who knows jazz and why?
    At this point (even though I know much of the roots of hip hop trace to jazz) I’d say hip hop. I have this tendency to believe that some people treat jazz like poetry, they’re only into it, because it seems like the “deep” thing to do. A woman who can hold an intelligent conversation with me about hip hop (and I don’t mean just bashing Soldier boy for half an hour) I mean a woman who says that 36 chambers is one of the 10 best albums of all times and can explain why, that can tell me who BattleCat is, knows at least 3 songs by Rakim, has at least heard of Poison Clan, and Lord Finesse… well that women will have my undivided attention for as long as she wants it.

    4. When you’re looking at us when we’re talking, are you actually hearing us or are you going through the appropriate “mmhms” and nods until we walk away?
    Are you complaining? If you’re complaining about something, and you’ve made it clear that you don’t really want our input, then you’re definitely getting the mmhmms and nods.

    5. Does it really upset you when we beat you at games/ correct you?
    Beat me at a game? No. I’m competitive as hell, but if you win, you just win, I have to do better next time. Correcting me? That’s something else (because alot of times the questions we debate over in life prescribe a subjective answer. You can’t correct my opinion, and it says something about you if you think you can, or that your opinion is the only one that could be right). #NoBueno

    6. Your homie hit on me hard, do I tell you or do I not?
    Speaking only for myself. Tell. Chances are, if he’s greasy like that I’ll already know it. No need to be implicated in his actions. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

    Reply ↓

    • “2. What impresses you about a woman?
      Confidence. Self-esteem. A woman that demonstrates that she doesn’t need a man without tweeting it, FB statusing it, or otherwise broadcasting it like a some gender badge of honor is sexy…”

      #realtalk

      lmao. i was almost asleep until i saw this one.

      Reply ↓

    • @DQ

      “A woman who can hold an intelligent conversation with me about hip hop (and I don’t mean just bashing Soldier boy for half an hour)”

      I receive a marriage proposal the other day (jokingly) because I referenced J Dilla, Pete Rock, The Alchemist and 9th Wonder as some of my favorite producers. LOL! I love men’s affinity and reaction towards women who have more than average knowledge of hip-hop.

      Reply ↓

      • J Dilla is my ultimate favorite so you and me, Ms. Notes are >here< . And 9th is a very close second. I've had men go through my iPod and sometimes give me that "Girl, whatchu know about that?" bug eyes. Really dude. Men don't have the monopoly on knowing good hip-hop :)

        Reply ↓

            • What’s your top 10 albums of all time, what are your honorable mentions, and why? This will tell me alot about your hip hop credibility. :)

              Reply ↓

              • Alright, keep in mind I’m a girl so my reasons vary greatly by artist. And yep, that was a disclaimer :)

                1. Illmatic; I was four when it came out and my father used to play “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” for me in my baby bed. Once I got older, I found the whole album and it’s been love ever since. Nas is probably the best lyricist I’ve ever heard, and in later years he’s seemed to dumb down for mainstream but this album is still his crowning glory.

                2. Trinity; Slum Village. The album that introduced me to J. Dilla. Also, I find them not only lyrically sound and relevant, but they can switch it up and be hood one minute and then sensuous the next, which is fascinating.

                3. Detroit Deli; Slum Village. On a music binge one night I found this song “Closer,” and I without hearing the rest of the album I bought the entire thing. Best decision of my life; the whole album blends sensuality and the male perspective of life and love perfectly.

                4. Only Built 4 Cuban Linx; Raekwon. Guillotine (Swordz) and Verbal Intercourse were the official reasons, but this guy I knew told me to give the whole album a listen and Raekwon has ever since become one of my favorite lyricists.

                5.”Southern Hospitality;” Ludacris. I think he switched up the form a bit and represented the South to the nth degree; he was clever, and funny and he had the bass that the south is famous for all in his debut album.

                6. The Slim Shady LP; Eminem. It’s like listening to a descent into madness; part of me was thinking “He can’t be this crazy,” and the other part was thinking “Well, aren’t we all at some point?” When listening to an artist makes me question my mental stability, I put it up there indefinitely.

                7. Lupe’s Food and Liquor; Lupe Fiasco. Admittedly, “Kick, Push” was playing all the time but what I loved about this album was it’s focus and dedication to being different. At that time in hip-hop everything had started to sound really similar, and Lupe cut out his own path.

                8. Extinction Level Event- The Final World Front; Busta Rhymes. The perfect blend of hilarity and something new. No other rapper was doing what Busta was doing at the time and this album showcased a myriad of his talents. Plus “Gimme Some More” was my sh*t.

                9. Late Registration; Kanye West. I could’ve gone the easier route and said College Dropout, but Late Reg showcased Kanye’s willingness to push limits with his production and subject matter. It also solidified him as a pop icon (Gold Digger, Diamonds from Sierra Leone remix) while maintaining his hip-hop roots (Drive Slow, Crack Music).

                10. Like Water for Chocolate; Common. “The Light,” “The Question,” and “Thelonious;” those are my reasons. Also, production by Dilla melts my panties everytime.

                Honorable Mentions:
                11. The Shining; J. Dilla. If “So Far to Go” isn’t playing in heaven, I’mma be a little disappointed. Every single beat on the album speaks on it’s own and doesn’t need anybody on it, but the ones on it definitely do most of them justice.

                12. Mr. Smith, LL Cool J. P*ssy pandering for the most part (Hey Love, Doin’ It, Loungin’) but still something for the fellas too (I Shot Ya, Hollis To Hollywood).

                Reply ↓

      • *I receive a marriage proposal the other day (jokingly) because I referenced J Dilla, Pete Rock, The Alchemist and 9th Wonder as some of my favorite producers. *

        Hell you about to get another one (jokingly) now. CNote – will you e-marry me? Will you take DQ, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish from this day till midnight, until log off do us part?

        *digital ring*

        Reply ↓

    • Thanks for the in-depth answers ^_^
      I actually agree with you about the jazz thing. I don’t know much, but I know what I like (I’m in a Coltrane phase at the moment) and it seems that any time I bring it up the men who are more knowledgeable tend to laugh at my choices. Really? That’s not gonna make me wanna sleep with you. #justsayin
      Also, your number 2 is true, however I know (and am one of) some women who have trouble with self-esteem and confidence. If you came across a woman like that, what advice would you give her?

      Reply ↓

      • Coltrane is always a good choice, as a hip hop head I love Ahmad Jamal, dude is a beast on those keys, there are plenty of other good artists out there.

        What advice would a give a woman struggling with self-esteem and confidence. Take some time and do some exploration. Understand who you are. Understand what it is that’s important to you, what you value. Understand what motivates you, what makes you happy, what hurts you. Recognize when you’ve been damaged, take all the time necessary to repair and heal yourself, and don’t apologize for it. Learn from the bad situations (so not to repeat it).

        And for goodness sake, let all the rest of the baggage go. Let your values be your values. Let your outlook be your outlook. Let your success be measured by YOUR metric. All those artificial, external expectations and pressures that have been foisted upon you, that aren’t your own… let them go. You cannot live for someone else or through their prism. Your journey is your journey.

        Once you find happiness in self and confidence in self, you will find happiness in others.

        Reply ↓

  28. I have few:

    1) What would you really think if a woman told you she’s been celibate by choice for more than a year?

    2) How much crazy will you put up with if that good-good is REALLY good?

    3) Do you really believe a ho can become a housewife?

    Thanks in advance. :)

    Reply ↓

    • 1. I’d think she got burned by a guy (STD, really bad breakup, preg scare, etc).

      2. ALOT. Frankly, it is embarassing how powerful it can be and how vulnerable we are when the vagina decides to become self-aware. At which point we really become automatons.

      3. Well, according to Chris Lover Lover, “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, because hoes don’t act right. There’s hoes on a mission and there’s hoes on the crack
      pipe.” But I would disagree. I think most women have a period in their lives where they affirmatively decide to do some ho shit. And i’m totally ok with that, as long as it doesnt become routine.

      Reply ↓

      • Again thanks. :)

        Here’s a follow-up:

        Is there a set amount of ho chit a woman must do to be definitively labeled a ho or is it more what she does and not how often she does it?

        Reply ↓

    • 1) What would you really think if a woman told you she’s been celibate by choice for more than a year?
      again – depends on her age – but at this point, whoever is convincing women to do the ‘celibate’ thing needs to be smacked upside the head. It sort of insinuates that sex is a bad thing, its not – its God’s gift to us – enjoy! That being said, I would want to know why she decided to do that, (perhaps a recovering nympho?) and feel comfortable that she won’t want to be celibate again – at least with me

      2) How much crazy will you put up with if that good-good is REALLY good?
      if the good-good is really good – I have put up with A LOT. The danger is: if you are really stare-off-in-the-distance-crazy, then you will eventually get replaced.

      3) Do you really believe a ho can become a housewife?
      when I was younger, I said no, but now I realize that yes, she can. I really shouldn’t have put so much weight on the # of sex partners a woman has had (assuming ho=number of sex partners>> age of woman) – it just seems arbitrary now.

      Reply ↓

    • I have few:

      1) What would you really think if a woman told you she’s been celibate by choice for more than a year?
      That there’s something that she values more than hot buttery Turkey Leg sex – and I can dig it

      2) How much crazy will you put up with if that good-good is REALLY good?
      Almost none. I’m too old. Getting with a chick because she got that “good good” and ignoring her crazy is like buying a Benz for it’s leather interior and ignoring the fact that you can’t keep up with the payments.

      3) Do you really believe a ho can become a housewife?
      Even p0rn stars settle down so I guess it’s possible, but I feel like, you are who you are before you got here until proven otherwise.

      Reply ↓

    • 1) What would you really think if a woman told you she’s been celibate by choice for more than a year?

      That’s she’s a recovering sex addict who became extremely spiritual. She’s “fasting” in order to accomplish a goal of hers. Regardless if what I “think”…I acknowledge that SHE is celibate and not John. Would I stay? Depends on how long I have wait and the quality of the relationship.

      2) How much crazy will you put up with if that good-good is REALLY good?

      None. Peace over a piece of p*ssy.

      3) Do you really believe a ho can become a housewife?

      Sure do. A housewife is a role just like being a hoe is a role. The decision to transition is a commitment in itself. It’s a matter of who’s willing to invest. An in order to find a private investor, you have to present a few slideshows of your personality that reflect promise, because a brotha is gonna wanna see some result knowing the risk.

      Reply ↓

  29. “Can you think of anything else you’ve ever wanted to know about men and $ex?”

    1. How would you like your woman to show you that she appreciates you?

    2. What do you enjoy more, attitude or submissiveness in the bedroom? How about in relationships in general?

    3. What is your favorite non-$exual f0replay (massage, str!pping, pr0n, etc.)?

    Thank you.

    Reply ↓

  30. “Is it really true that sex is the sole motivating factor behind everything men do?”

    Even writing this post?

    “Is that the proper medical term for baby hair?”

    Right now, outside of Floyd Mayweather’s hotel, Chilli is scowling at you right now for comparing her fresh hairline baby hair to a clit.

    Reply ↓

    • “Right now, outside of Floyd Mayweather’s hotel, Chilli is scowling at you right now for
      comparing her fresh hairline baby hair to a clit.”

      LMAO……*falls out*

      Reply ↓

  31. Why do some men say they want a certain type of woman and seem to only go for the diametrically opposite type?

    e.g. Dude tweets “I want a God-fearing, successful, intelligent, well-cultured woman #isthat2much2ask” and then proceeds to spend half his refund check wine-ing and dining a girl who has never left the Southside, is on year 5 of her associates degree program, requires male validation for her self-esteem, has 3 roommates to offset her inversely proportionate income/expenditure ratio and hasn’t seen the inside of a church since last Easter

    Reply ↓

    • because for a lot of men, what they “Want” and what they are attracted to…don’t align. We’re hoping that what we’re attracted to..will have what we ‘want’

      i would say women do the same thing, but i ain’t trying to be on that tit-for-tat isht

      Reply ↓

      • this makes perfect sense to me. As often as I’ve posed this question, I’ve never had it answered so honestly. Thanks.

        Reply ↓

  32. * Why do men say that women who lay on their back are lazy lovers yet they (men) proclaim they love to be rode? Isn’t that the same level of laziness?

    * Why are some men so focused on their own pleasure that they are oblivious to the fact that their woman is experiencing NONE? I mean, quit drilling and look at her face homey.

    * Why do men put so much emphasis on the woman’s performance while ignoring their own? I mean seriously, we must be waxed, smell good, fit and perform stunts while some of yall can’t even lotion your feet and last long enough for us to know you’re inside count to 10. We would fake it less, trust me.

    * Ya’ll really want to bounce that bad after s.ex? or is that just a game you play so women don’t get attached? Do you realize that the simple act of s.ex is enough for her to get attached more so than leaving after? (never happened to me but I’m curious about this whole toot and boot stuff)

    *What are you REALLY thinking when you have s.ex with a woman who’s on her period? How grossed out are you really?

    Reply ↓

    • She’s on the rag, yellow flag, game delay. Throw some towels down on the bed. Game on. It’s only blood….it washes off. Just my 2 cents.

      Reply ↓

    • *What are you REALLY thinking when you have s.ex with a woman who’s on her period? How grossed out are you really?

      I’m mature enough to know that it’s only blood. I’d rather it not be there, but it’s not a show stopper, it just takes more clean up. Peroxide. If we are already sharing bodily fluids, this is just one more body fluid.

      Reply ↓

    • “*What are you REALLY thinking when you have s.ex with a woman who’s on her period? How grossed out are you really?”

      I don’t run red lights, flat out. It’s one thing if she happens to come on early (in which case it’s not the end of the world), but knowingly doing it? Not for me.

      Reply ↓

    • BlkBond gave some good answers:
      1. It is almost the same, except when a woman is riding, it is most likely that she will climax because she is controlling the depth of penetration. Often times, when a woman is on her back, alot of brothers are just poking and sticking without really knowing where that man in the boat is, which brings me to number 2….

      2. When guys close their eyes, they are told to imagine something bad/unattractive to last longer. If he looks down at her and she is making that “Hotd*mn” face then, he will realize that he is pulvarizing that pum, get too excited about it, and it will be over. I like to look at the woman–it creates a more intense and emotional experience. I get to see what strokes she is most receptive to and it gives me an indication of duration and affect until she climaxes.

      3. I can’t speak for all men. When I’m involved consistently I shave my torso bare and trim my lower half. I wear cologne daily, get haircuts weekly, workout 2/3 times a week, etc. So I usually try to be on point. I don’t need my girl to have all that ish done everytime we get down. Usually after the first few encounters, we get a rhythm and ride it out (no pun)

      4. Sometimes we just want to bounce. Most dudes would just like to whip it out, thrust until they climax, and then get back to whatever they were doing. Anything done outside of this (dating, foreplay, conversation…etc, lol) is usually because it’s what women want.

      5. Depends on how heavy the flow is. Many times I have to shut that down, cause it’ll be the first day and she’s kissing on your ear like, “come on, you don’t even have to look down there” or “I’ll clean up, stop getting dramatic” Sometimes, I’m just good waiting until it’s over, besides…..you still got a mouth right? I know women have a heightened sense of arousal during that time but d*mn…

      Bond.

      Reply ↓

  33. When a guy says, “I was/am excited about what could happen between us”, what does that mean?

    When a girl says that it means, “I think you could be the one.” Just want to know if guys think the same way.

    Reply ↓

    • It means that I don’t necessarily want what you want, but I want to give you enough hope that you’ll still be willing to give me what I want. Then, when it’s all over, you can’t say I lied and told you it was going to be more.

      Reply ↓

    • I think that could mean a lot of things – esp if he is kicking game at ya (avoid the game players if you can).

      What it _should_ mean is : “Hey, we seem to be compatible, perhaps we can move closer together to learn if that could lead to something more” – its not a “i wanna marry you” statement. Its a “i need to learn more about you, but you are a contender for the next round” statement.

      Reply ↓

  34. 1- i want someone to fully and completely break down the new toto phenomenon… what is the big deal about it?

    2- do men prefer a woman that holds back a bit in the beginning sexually or a woman that brings her A+ game from day 1?

    3- if a woman “knows, shows and proves” that she is a bit out of your realm sexually, do you automatically assume she is a woman of ill repute (even though her experiences could be from 1 man) and not take her seriously or just enjoy the ride?

    4- why do some men like to hear women talk, moan, groan, whimper, grunt & scream but are so quiet themselves when it comes to doing the do?

    5- why does it seem like some men are just trying to break women? meaning there are a lot of females out there giving it up on the regular here there and everywhere but no, dude wants the one thats NOT giving it up to give it up even if he is not in the market for a long term relationship. in summary why are some men that are not looking for relationships NOT just sticking to the women of ill repute and leaving the other chicks alone?

    Reply ↓

    • I have had a debate on #2 with numerous homegirls. I tend to believe start with a B game and then work your way up. Don’t wanna run out of tricks too fast lol. But it would be interesting to see a male perspective.

      Reply ↓

    • 3. No. I assume she was with one partner for a while and that they had honest communication about what works and felt comfortable enough to try new things.

      Reply ↓

    • “4. why do some men like to hear women talk, moan, groan, whimper, grunt & scream but are so quiet themselves when it comes to doing the do?”

      some of us go silverback on good pu$$y…..

      said silverbackness can get you put on time out or a list of I won’t do’s next go round….

      Reply ↓

    • 4, for me, it’s nothing egotistical. I jus need to hear your body respond so that I know what works and what doesn’t. I like to think that women have spots, and that certain strokes work and others don’t. While you’re making all those sound effects, I’m taking mental notes. Simple. Plain. When you’re paying attention in class, are you talking all loud and doin your beat box cypher in the back? No.

      Reply ↓

  35. “a guy who’s not a mo is that the guy who’s not a mo just doesn’t act on those desires. But, the desire’s present in all of us,”

    So, what if the girl is ok with the guy acting on his desires, as long as he allowed her to act on her desires, too? Or, would that hurt most guy’s feelings? You know…the reciprocity of it all?

    Reply ↓

  36. In a world where most of the verbal communicating is done by women, it is refreshing to see that men (commenters) are responding to our questions. Thanks fellas! Now, onto what CNotes would like to know:

    1. When you say you like “thick” women, what exactly do you mean? Are you referring solely to the hip, thigh and arse region or an overall build? Examples would be helpful.

    2. Do men who father children with someone (who they are no longer in a relationship with) generally return to their child’s mother for chex?

    3. Ta Ta’s vs. Donks? Which is your preference and why?

    4. To kiss or not to kiss while chexing? What is your theory?

    Reply ↓

      • @peter parker

        “4. huh? N/A”

        Some people reserve kissing for people they actually care about (vs. someone they are just hitting and quitting); and therefore it is not included in the chexing all-inclusive package. Just wondered if this was a consensus amongst men.

        Reply ↓

    • 3. Ta Ta’s vs. Donks? Which is your preference and why?

      I prefer tata’s generally, but have developed an appreciation for a nice donk.

      4. To kiss or not to kiss while chexing? What is your theory?

      Indifferent; I go with the flow.

      Reply ↓

    • “Thick” is an overall build, but focuses mostly on having a sturdy base.

      2) Wouldn’t know.

      3) Has to be on a case by case basis.

      4) Whatever the moment brings.

      Reply ↓

    • @CNotes

      1. Thick would be the wide hips, thick thighs, round or wide backside, narrow waist, and a flat stomach. To see examples google the following names Lastarya, Ms. Ice aka Tina B., and Temeca Freeman.

      2. Yes. Depending on how it ended. And some men are justified in thinking that way. Some women let the father of their children come and go as he pleases. In some situations he can always come back and get some b/c they have a child together.

      3. Both but if I had to choose it would be Donks. You can get personal with the Donk. You can’t really express how you feel with TaTa’s. You can with the Donk. You can freak the Donk all type of ways. The intensity of the visual and physical of the Donk during chex just can’t be matched by TaTa’s. TaTa’s are like appetizers but Donk’s are the main course.

      4. If its your gf,wife, fiancee then kissing is GREAT while chexing. Any other chic? No. I can’t speak for other men but kissing is very intimate to me and I just don’t do that with anyone.

      Reply ↓

      • @Humble_One

        please help me understand this: ” kissing is very intimate to me and I just don’t do that with anyone.”

        Do I understand correctly that you will have sex “with [just] anyone” in that there are some women who qualify for strokage, but not for kissage. How does this work?

        (a reply from any man is appreciated)

        Reply ↓

    • Thick = Beyonce, Serena Williams

      I’ll take the donk all day, everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I like the ta ta’s too, but it’s the way that donk jiggles when women walk that I love.

      Reply ↓

  37. If a lady is FWB, FB, jumpoff, (insert other name here that equates to just only f*cking ppl but have a ‘rapport’) with a guy, what constitutes as ‘game playing’ in a sex-only relationship(s) as those mentioned above?

    Why are they one-sided when it comes to coitus?

    Reply ↓

    • I rock with you SFG, so I will indulge:

      1. It is almost the same, except when a woman is riding, it is most likely that she will climax because she is controlling the depth of penetration. Often times, when a woman is on her back, alot of brothers are just poking and sticking without really knowing where that man in the boat is, which brings me to number 2….

      2. When guys close their eyes, they are told to imagine something bad/unattractive to last longer. If he looks down at her and she is making that “Hotd*mn” face then, he will realize that he is pulvarizing that pum, get too excited about it, and it will be over. I like to look at the woman–it creates a more intense and emotional experience. I get to see what strokes she is most receptive to and it gives me an indication of duration and affect until she climaxes.

      3. I can’t speak for all men. When I’m involved consistently I shave my torso bare and trim my lower half. I wear cologne daily, get haircuts weekly, workout 2/3 times a week, etc. So I usually try to be on point. I don’t need my girl to have all that ish done everytime we get down. Usually after the first few encounters, we get a rhythm and ride it out (no pun)

      4. Sometimes we just want to bounce. Most dudes would just like to whip it out, thrust until they climax, and then get back to whatever they were doing. Anything done outside of this (dating, foreplay, conversation…etc, lol) is usually because it’s what women want.

      5. Depends on how heavy the flow is. Many times I have to shut that down, cause it’ll be the first day and she’s kissing on your ear like, “come on, you don’t even have to look down there” or “I’ll clean up, stop getting dramatic” Sometimes, I’m just good waiting until it’s over, besides…..you still got a mouth right? I know women have a heightened sense of arousal during that time but d*mn…

      Bond.

      Reply ↓

      • Wow great answers!! You’re the first one to really go in on my questions. Your answers to #1 and #2 are kind of what I thought and makes perfect sense. I actually prefer to ride for control and the reasons you mentioned. Funny thing is, I don’t like to talk afterwards either. I’m so effing exhausted, I just want to lay there. I’d actually prefer if we didn’t cuddle so I can catch my breath and relax. I just thought that actually getting up and leaving the premises is kind of mean. This is why I stick with a SO and not strangers. Cause once my feelings get hurt….you betta run. lol Also, I think a bare nether-region is more hygienic. I don’t know how people are comfortable with a bush. I just don’t get how picky some men can be but ot up-keep themselves. Good to know that many do actually care themselves. Good one. I’m going to repost above.

        Reply ↓

        • yeh when i read your questions SFG i was gonna write in response to #3 that ladies need to stop messing with them aint sh!t ninjas, cuz I know full well that if you all were to tell us to do x,y, and z to keep getting our sexual release, we’d probably do it.

          If she’s doing all she can to keep her body up, then Imma return the favor, as I feel it’s only fair. Then again, I was a college athlete, so I like keeping myself physically active and all.

          But if you got a gut, you don’t keep yourself up, and your hairline is as visible as a confederate republican’s appreciation for minorities, you can’t be too critical of the girl giving you the good good.

          #realtalk

          Reply ↓

  38. “1. When you say you like “thick” women, what exactly do you mean? Are you referring solely to the hip, thigh and arse region or an overall build? Examples would be helpful.”

    My definition refers to the previous. It’s a matter of PROPORTION. Proportion creates this contradictory visual effect that stimulates the male psyche. Of course, males are more visual than females when it comes to sexual stimulation. To see your posterior stand out like a horn on a unicorn, and then your thighs make you look like a minotaur with the hips to compliment….it stimulates the imagination. The look has a psychological effect. Baby phat is acceptable…again, it’s about proportions. Smallness here in spite of the large curviness here. It’s like they’re prejudiced against each other, yet the co-exist on the SAME PERSON (Same Earth). Estimate the Waist-Hip Ratio, Add the Volume, and the Diameter And you too will appreciate the Time it took to form this “Hourglass”

    If Nicki Minaj was natural….she’d be a great example…..

    “2. Do men who father children with someone (who they are no longer in a relationship with) generally return to their child’s mother for chex?”

    Me personally, not anymore. I think overall, its circumstantial. Could be dependent on the level of desparation. And when I say desperation, it’s a dysphemism for horniness. It could also be dependent on the condition of the relationship and how she’s looking. I had a child with her….yes…..and the s*x was good then, doesn’t mean that it’ll be that way today and next year.

    “3. Ta Ta’s vs. Donks? Which is your preference and why?”

    I looooove Democrats! Girls that gotta Donkey!!…..I have a poem about this.

    “To analyze the Viscosity of the Honey within this…Honey, that brings Grizzly Bears out of Hibernation” is just so dangone stimulating. There’s so many uses. I like to hug a woman and then reach down and squeeze. There’s a sense of fulfillment in possessing something that’s a bit grander than yourself.

    “I respond when she Applauds……..With no Hands”….because it’s fascinating to see something just so….beautifully bizarre. The textures and the motions collaborate to add pleasure to the music we make in the bedroom. I could write you an essay with the poem I wrote, but overall…it’s just added stimulation that’s purely psychological. I like bigness that’s realistic. If it werent for the chics with smaller bums (and I aint talking homeless midgets)….I’d consider it norm. So I’m grateful for all shapes and sizes.

    “4. To kiss or not to kiss while chexing? What is your theory?”
    Personally…..I wanna wrestle with those lips. I wanna dance with her tongue. I’m a lover…not a s*xer. As much as I like unemotional sex (which I don’t), to me…kissing brings added pleasure to the experience.

    Overall…the more stimulation, the more profitable the overall experience. I’m a very sensual guy (sensitive), so I’m open to MOST sensory experiences in the bedroom….or car….or movies (which by the way, the place in which it’s going down produces another psychological effect [not so morally geared])

    Reply ↓

    • Awwww man…I missed one (moderation gods…. I repent)! Sighs….

      By the way….laying on a Donkey (that’s actually got honey within it) is wonderful! For me, the fact that a human being has the phenomenal mechanism attached is just outrageous. It’s like….

      ……WHHHHYYYYY LOOORD!! (whispers “thank you”)….

      Reply ↓

    • I heart this entire thing. To further agree with Cnotes and Yeah…So, yall are being so open with the VSS’s today!!!

      With my day to day routine and work and ish, sometimes I (or women in general) forget that we have chexiness and there are men who love love love it.

      So greatly appreciated!!! Thank you Skywalker and thank you VSB’s!!!

      Reply ↓

  39. 1. I spend a bunch of money on lingerie. Does it even matte?. I still get it in my cotton boy shorts. So does it even matter? Do guys even really care or appreciate it? I am starting to think Vicki’s and Fredrick’s marketing dept Is selling me magic beans.
    2. What are your opinions on pubic hair? Is the teeny weeny afro ever ok or do most men really prefer a bald babymaker (what my best male friend calls it)?
    3. Why do so some men want to have actual conversations during sex? Is there a nice way to say shut up you are ruining my orgasmic concentration?
    4. Why do men not give a dating dress code heads up then sigh when you have to change? You said don’t dress up so I wore jeans, then say we’re to dinner not the movies. Now I have to change.
    5. Gift giving. When dating there is always some gift exchanging going on. Ex. A man may bring a bottle of wine or flowers what is the male equivelent

    Reply ↓

    • 1). Looking sexy in boy shorts, or one of our shirts or in a towel, or a short bath robe trumps lingerie. Anything that looks casual, unexpected and unforced.

      2) Less is more.

      3) Cause they are wack

      5) Beer

      Reply ↓

      • *Looking sexy in boy shorts, or one of our shirts or in a towel, or a short bath robe trumps lingerie. Anything that looks casual, unexpected and unforced.*

        Say it again dude. I honestly think the lingerie is more for them than us. Peeling a woman out of her every day clothes is way more exciting to me than lingerie

        Reply ↓

    • 1. L*ngerie matters for the same reason seeing your man dressed in a suit from time to time matters. Its something different and another type of chexy. L*ngerie is also a non verbal way of communicating that you most certainly want to get fc*ked.
      2. So long as its manicured, hair is ok. But the rats nest look seldom adds s*xu@l appeal.
      3. Yes. Tell them to shut the fc*k up so you may concentrate on your org@sm*c efforts.
      4. To avoid this, try dinner and a movie at home. Less chance of a dress code misunderstanding.
      5. a bottle of mo’vag*na.

      Reply ↓

    • 1. well overall, IMO Boyshorts are the sh!t on women. Hell one of my first comments a few weeks ago had to do with boy shorts. But yeah, lingerie can be cool and we can appreciate a good victoria’s secrets set

      2. Landing strip, trimmed, or bald. Haven’t seen bald yet though. Or maybe I just haven’t seen it in a while.

      3. Lol. no comment

      4. See number 4

      5. I dunno. Defer to my fellow VSB’s

      Reply ↓

  41. “1. I spend a bunch of money on lingerie. Does it even matte?. I still get it in my cotton boy shorts. So does it even matter? Do guys even really care or appreciate it? I am starting to think Vicki’s and Fredrick’s marketing dept Is selling me magic beans.”

    Yes!!! Lingerie is playful and colorful. It’s very “performance enhancing”. Although it’s not required to turn me on, it definitely helps. I like color! I love th0ngs; the design is fascinating, especially how it embraces it’s home…..

    …..and those boy shorts are definitely some first class flight attendants….serve me up please! Woe to he who doesn’t appreciate the costumes of the bedroom freak. For what is a superhero…without….a costume? (A superhero…I know, but it’s easier to identify you – more flair, it’s a statement from the inside out)

    “2. What are your opinions on pubic hair? Is the teeny weeny afro ever ok or do most men really prefer a bald babymaker (what my best male friend calls it)?”

    Prefer shaved, but if you have an afro…it’s cool. My preference can be superceded based on the idea that I don’t own any portion of her being. I just like having the luxury of seeing it all. Plus, if it’s freshly shaven….smoothness when it comes to finger massage.

    “3. Why do so some men want to have actual conversations during sex? Is there a nice way to say shut up you are ruining my orgasmic concentration?”

    I normally prefer body language….with groans, moans, and screams to adlib. I hypothesize that maybe s*x is as natural as a gym workout (shrugs). Could be a distraction mech. My recommendation…..kissing or index finger over the lips with a horizontal head shake. It maintains your s*xual grace (as a woman) and it’s very gentle – hurts less on the male ego.

    “4. Why do men not give a dating dress code heads up then sigh when you have to change? You said don’t dress up so I wore jeans, then say we’re to dinner not the movies. Now I have to change.”

    Because if it were us…we wouldn’t change. Reflection of impatience – your costume change isnt as speedy gonzales as a male’s. Activities arent all about the appearance for a guy; the appearance ENHANCES. It’s not a requirement to LOOK good while you’re doing something. Although some of us understand that ladies like to dress for the occassion, to the simple mind….going to dinner is just that….dinner….the purpose: to eat. And there’s no dress code for that. Besides….what you wear to the movies may be fitting for the type of dinner you’re eating.

    “5. Gift giving. When dating there is always some gift exchanging going on. Ex. A man may bring a bottle of wine or flowers what is the male equivelent”

    Personally….you are the gift. Spend your money on you.

    Reply ↓

  42. we know men have lots of expertise to offer about sex.

    what about men and feelings? Love?

    i’d like to see if a bunch of VSBs would actually post on this blog about falling in Love, getting your heart broken, the one that got away, the one you pushed away, the one you Love despite yourself… etc.

    *silence*

    lol

    Reply ↓

    • do you really wanna see ninjas cryin???

      I try not to dwell on the woulda, shoulda, couldas…..otherwise…..I’d be beyond blue.

      Reply ↓

        • i’d love to read this too… we read so much in the comment section about s.ex… and quite frankly im sick of it bc all it does is make me h0rny and think about making calls I shouldn’t be making..

          sidenote.. is it just me- or does everyone sound good in bed on paper? all this talk about “i like to this and i like to that” …has me wanting to..well nevermind..

          BUT… i’d like to hear from a man’s heart…

          …[crickets]

          Reply ↓

    • it’s not publicly encouraged or promoted…so no i don’t think we’d do it.

      if you talk incessantly about being in love = soft like terry cloth

      if you talk incessantly about the ones that break/broke your heart = bitter brotha man

      i guess it’s something to occasionally try, but for now you may have to suffice the golden nugget of openness here and there

      Reply ↓

  43. also, this post is making me see that my non-thickness is not desired with VSBs. what’s a woman not blessed with D cups and 40 inch hips supposed to do? it ain’t fair i say. lol.

    i don’t even want D cups or 40 inch hips, btw. lol

    Reply ↓

    • Don’t feel that way VSS. While the D cups and 40 inch hips may be a preference, I know that every good woman out there won’t have that. I take each woman I meet on a case-by-case basis. There’s no way in hell I’d turn down a good woman I’m attracted to and compatible with just because she doesn’t meet those characteristics. At the end of the day, the characteristics listed above are only preferences, not requirements. I can only speak for myself though.

      Reply ↓

    • also, this post is making me see that my non-thickness is not desired with VSBs. what’s a woman not blessed with D cups and 40 inch hips supposed to do? it ain’t fair i say. lol.

      i don’t even want D cups or 40 inch hips, btw. lol
      -I can’t lie Muze… I kinda died a little inside as well… skinny girls need love too lol

      Reply ↓

      • I’m sure neither you (or Muze) are hurting for attention…skinny girls usually do pretty well in that department. Besides, D cups are cool and all, but anything more than a mouthful is kinda wasted anyway.

        Reply ↓

        • Ok… I’m gonna speak for myself

          I love my body… a lot actually, but… I do get to feeling like the “last kid picked to play” when the @ss and tittays convo comes up. I mean I get the “not a requirement and all” but when EVERY dude is like “but for real for real tho… she gotta have a fat @ss” and you don’t (however portionate you may be) you feel a little slighted… #justsayin

          Reply ↓

          • On the other side of the coin, I’ve heard many women opine that a potential man needs to be 6′+ tall, preferably built like TO…and that’s cool, cuz those are their preferences. I know many good dudes that don’t look like that (myself included), so hopefully we’re not instantly eliminated just because we don’t meet those criteria. Likewise, the WISE man knows that a fat @ss is nice to look at and admire, but there’s so much more to consider…To quote KT above: “There’s no way in hell I’d turn down a good woman I’m attracted to and compatible with just because she doesn’t meet those characteristics. At the end of the day, the characteristics listed above are only preferences, not requirements.”

            Reply ↓

            • No, we get it… we just wanted to point it out… I mean, yeah every dude isn’t T.O.(thank GAWD) and every woman isn’t Tyra, but somehow we all chexin. Understood. lol

              Reply ↓

    • It’s not all it’s cut out to be, trust me. Most of the time the men are thinking of women of model height with those proportions and not the short ones and so that leaves girls like me out too. Same boat, different end VSS.

      Reply ↓

    • All about accentuating what you have. A girl with long legs, thin waist and a flat stomach just needs to know how accentuate that look. Plus you can get away with wearing less.

      Reply ↓

    • @Muze and @Yeah…so,

      I think there are advantages and disadvantages to both general types. First of all, I see plenty of slim women getting it in so even guys who prefer well endowed women will go for those that ain. Everybody got some sexy to em and a lot depends on how you carry yourself.

      Also, keep in mind those thicker women got problems, too. I know they might be “good” problems, but they’re problems nonetheless. They often get a lot of attention, which I guess could be a good thing, except that it’s the type of attention you get for all the wrong reasons.

      Reply ↓

    • “also, this post is making me see that my non-thickness is not desired with VSBs. what’s a woman not blessed with D cups and 40 inch hips supposed to do? it ain’t fair i say. lol.

      i don’t even want D cups or 40 inch hips, btw. lol”

      Whoa whoa whoa!

      We VSB’s are quite diverse. And while many of us do like the girls who are thickums, many of us (myself included) love the skinny chics too. WIP is right, they are simply preferences but you wont get strong-armed for not having them.

      But I would like to proudly assert my support for the skinny VSS’s, :-D and I’m sure that I’m not the only guy who likes a skinny chic. Don’t be tall and skinny too, or else I’m dead…

      Reply ↓

  44. When giving a guy head….is it ok to stop and then have chex? or do guys expect to finish and then have chex?

    Reply ↓

    • Too much too much…..never. I’d make booty my pillow if i could

      too demandin *shrug* no idea

      Why do so many men lie about having a high sex drive?
      they dummies……

      Reply ↓

  46. I gotta agree with CNotes, it is pretty dope that y’all are being so forthcoming with the info… it’s kinda sessy! Rrrrrrr

    Anywho, me questiones! Ion’t have many…

    ONE: Does the faster the nut mean the better the cut? Basically, does the speed of how quickly a nut is produced for y’all always determine how good the f*ck was?

    TWO: When we’re ready for y’all to “wrap-it-up”(Chapelle style)… what is a good go to move? I’m a biter so I tend to bite that neck when it’s nap time (and ladies it works)… any additions?

    Reply ↓

    • I’ll take a stab at it…

      1) Not necessarily…sometimes you gotta get that first one out of the way (a throwaway nut, if you must), and sometimes it comes sooner rather than later. Not always a reflection on how good the sexin’ was, tho
      2) I’m making the assumption that you’ve gotten yours already, right?? If that’s the case, you could always finish him off w/ some killer 0ral or a good squeeze & jerk (i.e., hand job)

      Reply ↓

    • 1) Can mean a lot of things
      2) Pull us in deeper, speed up the tempo without breaking the rhythm and kegel.

      Reply ↓

    • 1) No. There is no definitive relation between the two.. Anxiety, or ‘getting caught up’ mentally in the act could defitnitely result in a ‘trigger happy’ experience.

      2) A tighter vajayjay. But if one cannot muster that up, then the next best go to move is talking dirty or being vocal with the ooohs and ahhs could help ‘encourage’ the man as well.
      Remember, s*x requires just as much mental stimulation as it does physical…if not more.

      Reply ↓

      • 1. Is it really THAT easy to get “caught-up”? I mean I would assume most men with a decent (or even indecent=”mo”) amount of experience wouldn’t tend to get caught-up… we don’t get “caught-up”, I don’t think… or we get caught-up differently (meaning: emotionally after the chex) I guess. Y’all get “caught-up” in what exactly?

        2. Good point.

        Reply ↓

        • SoBo’s defn. of “caught up” is different than what you’re thinking…he’s referring more to the physical sensation of getting some…it’s similar to the tingling one gets when you bite into a York Peppermint Patty…you get excited too quickly, and 10 strokes can turn into a recipe for disaster w/ a side of ridicule

          Reply ↓

    • 1. The best nut is the one you bust after knowing your girl has been satisfied, whether or not she comes. I think most guys (in relationships) base how good a nut is off of that. So if she only wanted a quickie and after 5 minutes, she’s satisifed and wants me to come then that nut is great. As Sobo said, sex is mental and physical. Which leads me to 2…

      2. Talk dirty, kegel, allow for deeper penetration and excite us in any other possible way that you may know how to.

      Reply ↓

      • 1. Yeah, I’ve heard that before… Question: How much control do y’all really have over how quickly you do “finish”? And if you have a lot of control, then after she has had her quickie and you’re happy she’s happy… why wait? Or do y’all not have control… or does it depend on a case-by-case basis?
        *sidenote* This really fascinates me…

        2. ;) got it.

        Reply ↓

        • 1. This is largely a guy to guy thing. I could be wrong but I tend to think that most us know when we’re about to hit the point of no return and so try to prolong that. If you have a lot of control, then you finish as soon as you can. But this can occur on a case-by-case basis too.

          Reply ↓

  47. When giving a guy head……is it ok to stop and start having chex? or do guys expect to finish and then have chex?

    Reply ↓

    • This depends on how he wants to finish. If he’s in the mood for head only then don’t stop. If he wants to finish in a more traditional manner, he’ll stop you before you get to that point.

      Reply ↓

  48. How do men feel about sex on the first date? Is it a go or a no go?

    This one always confuses me. it seems everyone is all about holding out until their in that situation, at that persons door about to say good night*, then all bets are off. (ESPECIALLY if mutual interest has peeked on said date)

    * Maybe I just don’t trust people, but after a date you have no need to walk me to my door. -_-. Or that might have recently manifested itself due to “For Colored Girls” movie. :: shivers ::

    Reply ↓

    • A lot of guys that disagree with me, but fµck it. Generally, once I have sêx with you, thas pretty much all there is to it. Meaning, that if I like someone and I’m serious about dating them, I will actually hold off until we absolutely can’t stand it any longer. That might seem rather backwards to some folk, but there is a very good reason for it.

      From my experiences, when the sêx is good and genuine feelings are involved, those genuine feelings get all mixed up. If I’m serious about a future with you, I like to keep those feelings untainted until I know the foundation is strong first. Like I said, it maybe backwards for some but it works for me.

      However, I’m not opposed to doing it on a first date, but most likely there won’t be much more than that in the relationship. But thas jus me, I’m sure other dudes have different opinions.

      Reply ↓

    • for me its cool,
      I had a first date with this chic, and 10 minutes into the date she was giving me head. At first I was taken aback, but it cleared the tension for the rest of the evening – if ya know what I am saying.

      Reply ↓

      • LOL. I can’t believe I just read that , 10 minutes? WOW. Record.

        I’m pretty sure I can think of other ways to break the ice. I hope you were in doors as in, a house or apartment….not restaurant.

        Bengemin I see what you’re saying. I actually am not opposed to that idea. Especially if there is sexual tension. Who doesn’t enjoy a little torture >:].

        Reply ↓

  50. Okay, last ones for those who are still here :) (I know ya’ll are thinking, this chick has way too many questions >.<)

    1) Old fashioned girls, yay or nay?

    2) Thongs or commando? (for her not for you before you go there)

    3) If a woman were to take you on a date, where would you really like to go?

    4) How should a woman handle an argument?

    5) Why, when a man is clearly good with and in love with his woman, do all the whipped jokes come up?

    Reply ↓

    • 1) Yay…Big yay

      2) Thongs

      3) I must really ponder that.

      4) Listen….actually listen

      5) You usually only tease someone about something they have that you want.

      Reply ↓

      • 1) Yay for the big yay ^_^
        2) Hmm…
        3) No girl has ever asked you that before? o.O
        4) Noted.
        5) That’s cute. In a totally manly sort of way.

        Reply ↓

  51. 1. Why do some men love to cum in a woman’s mouth and then want her to swallow?

    2. Would that be an issue if your girl did not want either (cumshots & swallowing)?

    Reply ↓

  52. I’m wildly offended that you stated that sex is the sole motivation for men to do anything. In fact, I’m disproving it as I type this. Also, I believe by abstaining from sex you can channel that energy to amount to great things. Perhaps all great things men did happened this way, think about it.

    Reply ↓

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