Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. Free your mind and your arse will follow. Punks jump up to get beat down. These are all important tenets to keep in mind when dealing with people you may get romantically involved with.
Okay, so only two of them are. But you, The Isley Brothers, and PM Dawn get my drift.
So let’s talk about the concept of chill for a second. One of THE most vital components of any new dating situation is having some chill about yourself. The person who over-reacts and/or puts all of their cards on the table too soon usually loses out. People like mystery even if they don’t like not knowing. Chew on that sh*t three times fast.
Now, this may seem a little bit counter intuitive seeing as we’re all about promoting full disclosure and all that jazz upfront, but there really are some things you just need to keep to yourself until you are in committed relationship…you know, chill on some of the extra stuff, b…so that hopefully they love you enough to be mildly annoyed but ultimately won’t bounce…like a basketball. You go telling people too many of your undesirables too quickly and then you end up more single than one eyed, one arm, one legged man playing Uno who just released his first song.
Hey, PJ, won’t you play that song keep me dancing (dancing) all night (all night)…what are you talking about? Glad you asked.
1. That you’ve got a slightly discriminatory opinion
You can’t come out the gate talking about all the different types of people you you don’t f*ck with. Like the gays, the Blacks, the whites, the shorts, the handicaps, etc. If you’re one of those folks who has one of those opinions about one of those issues, you might want to think about how it may come across to other people. Thing is you might not even feel that strongly about anything but even an inconsiderate opinion might derail that train.
2. That you’ve got an outlandish fetish
You like to f*ck horses in Mexico? You like to drink RC Cola while having your tushy tickled with tassles and Twinkies? No problem. But you should probably keep that sh*t to yourself for a gooooood long while. Everybody’s got a history. There’s nothing wrong with some of that history being part of The Lost Tapes and sealed away in a vault only to be discovered when our 2nd Black president gets inaugurated.
3. That you were on a reality show of ill repute
Hell, anything of ill repute is DEFINITELY not going to get you in the door. But reality show pseudo-success – if you went full success on ‘em you’d definitely be known right – is usually gonna get some judgement. Plus, if I find you pimped yourself out for a television show and looked a hot damn mess in the process then I can’t take you home to my momma. And if I can’t take you home to my momma then I might have to throw you from the train. Momma ain’t raise no fools. Do your dirt by your lonely. Of course this is all purely dependent on you having moved on from it.
4 That you did some time way back when
Of course this is assuming you don’t have any more issues with the federales or the localerales (?). I mean, there you go telling me no again and everything, but if it aint vital to who you are now as a person then it probably is okay to mention later on. Though, there’s a really good chance that if you ended up doing a year in a woman’s prison for stabbing a llama on a bet, your new dude is likely going to judge you and wonder what else you aint mention. Which is a fair point. So I guess there’s really no good time to ever drop the jail bomb.
What else you got, kiddies? What might be some things you might want to share to divulge into after you got that lock down love?
Talk to me, Petey.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka lower.case.p aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3